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Workwear sales of note for 6.02.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
- Boden – Sale, up to 50% off
- Cole Haan – Up to 50% off select styles; extra 20% off sandals & sneakers
- Eloquii – 60% off all tops
- Express – 30% off all dresses, tops, shorts & more; extra 50% off clearance
- H&M – Up to 60% off online and in-store.
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
- J.McLaughlin – The Sale Event: extra 30% off
- Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
- Shopbop – Up to 60% off sale
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – 25-40% off select styles
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 40% off; pop-up sale up to 30% off
- Joss & Main – Up to 60% off, plus an extra 20% off with code
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses (Reader-favorite brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Up to 25% off in-stock furniture; up to 60% off clearance
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- Favorite comfy pants for an overnight plane ride?
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- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
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- I’m early 40s and worry my career arc is ending…
- I canNOT figure out the proportions in this current season of fashion…
- How is everyone wearing scarves in 2023?
- What shoes are people wearing to work between boot and sandal season?
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What are some of your go-to outfits that feel current?
- I need more activities that are social, easy to learn and don’t involve extreme running/jumping/etc.
Sweet as Soda Pop
A disjointed collection of thoughts…
A) I love these earrings, and just might pull the trigger
B) Thanks to this morning’s thread, I bought my first Skirt in amazon green
C) I love this community of women for the supportive discussion with regard to Trying’s question this morning
D) I was asking Friday about CrossFit; I went to the intro class on Saturday, where they teach you the basics and the vocab. I am waddling around today. My beginner class starts at 5am tomorrow, but since I can barely walk, I’m not sure how well that’s going to go! I did enjoy the workout and the coaches, so I think I’ll be sticking with it. Look out toned arms and legs, here I come!
2. Ditto (and also in the green!).
3. Super ditto.
4. Congrats on getting through your first Crossfit class!!! :) Drinks lots of water today – it helps with the soreness.
5am? woof. glad to hear you liked it though! my husband just finished his elements classes and i think tonight will be his first regular crossfit workout. i’m very geeked out about working out together.
and i have the skirt in amazon green – it’s a fabulous color. i am ordering the purple and coral, i think.
So in pain
This afternoon will be my 2nd day. I’m not sure how I will do it. Honestly. I can’t even walk to the bathroom without cringing with pain. My sister started CF about 6 months ago and looks incredible and has much more energy than she has ever had. FYI, her first week she felt like she needed to be in a body cast so I think what we are experiencing is normal.
Sweet as Soda Pop
Haha every time I went to the restroom today, I just had to fall backward onto the toilet!
That’s my personal test for whether or not a workout is working for me – if I can’t sit on the toilet without help (by which I mean grabbing the edge of my bathroom counter) the day after, it’s hard enough.
I’m debating the Skirt, but I think the only color I could do is black and who needs another black pencil skirt? Ohhhh, but the green is pretty and I’m tempted!!
I know a lot of people hate this recommendation when they’re in pain, and I know someone is going to comment behind me saying not to, but take IBUPROFEN. Seriously. Take some. Take 3. Take 4. I never knew muscle pain until I started on a sports team at my college. Morning practices. Evening practices. Core/strength training in between. Naps kept me from having a mental breakdown, ibuprofen helped me get through practice.
Heck no…on dissing the rec! Ibuprofen is the best!!!
Actually I found that I was taking too many ibuprofen for not enough help. Aleve is the only thing that works.
What songs are on your gym playlists? I’m creating new ones and would love your suggestions!
(FWIW, I don’t like the Pandora playlists because if I don’t like a song, I can’t focus until a song I do like is playing)
NPR actually put a workout mix which I’ve been using as an ideas list – it’s quite a mix, but the one I’m liking now is “Eye of the Tiger” from “Rocky” (Great for starting a run.)
Otters, thank you for that link–what a great play list.
I love Christina Aguillera’s Fighter. It is the song I pick when getting through the hardest part of a long run . . . back when I used to go on long runs lol.
Argh, I used to love it…and then my roommate played it approximately 1,000 times over the past two days (since we had nice weather) at full blast and now I kind of want to stab that song in the face.
But Glee’s cover just made me love it more, so I’m sure that I will recover now that I’ve gotten away from annoying roommate!!
My trashy music love comes out when I’m running for sure. On my current treadmill list:
Give Me Everything — Ne Yo
Gasolina — Daddy Yankee
Family Affair — Mary J Blige (this has been on my running list since it came out
Rumour Has It — Adele
Club Can’t Handle Me – Flo-Rida
I Like It — Enrique Iglesias Feat. Pitbull
Running Down a Dream — Tom Petty
Good Feeling — Flo Rida
Take a Minute — K’naan (mainly for warm up)
Paper Planes — MIA
Run the World — Beyonce
Take it Off — Ke$ha (most embarrassing but so so good)
In the Ayer — Flo-Rida Will.I.am
You are my workout music twin. I think I had practically this exact playlist not too long ago.
i love this playlist. LOVE. my gym/workout playlists are a combination of this type of happy, trashy music, and green day/offspring/rise against. mashups are great, too – i like super mash bros. and girltalk.
Mine is a mix of Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Maroon 5, Madonna’s Immaculate Collection (my college soundtrack), Adele, Kelly Clarkson, Jeff Healey, Mary J. Blige, and some Bangles and Banarama thrown in for good measure.
punk rock tax lawyer
“Lose Yourself” Eminem
“TKO” Le Tigre
“Y’all Get Back Now” Big Freedia
“If I Ruled the World” Nas f/ Lauryn Hill
“Hellbound” The Breeders
“This Ain’t No Picnic” Minutemen
“Setting Sun” Chemical Brothers
“Dog and Pony Show” Shellac
“Damaged Goods” Gang of Four
“One Thing” Built to Spill
“Toxicity” System of a Down
“Kill With Power” Arch Enemy
“Beware of the Boys” Panjabi MC
“Gratitude” Beastie Boys
Curious if you are in Maine. I went to school with someone I would now describe as a punk rock tax lawyer. If you don’t want to out yourself, that’s cool too.
punk rock tax lawyer
I’m in Texas, not Maine, so there’s at least two of us. It makes me happy to hear about other punk rock tax lawyers. I use this name hoping I’ll find some more.
As a Washingtonian, I am legally required to give you a big thumbs up for Fugazi.
punk rock tax lawyer
Thanks! Fugazi is the greatest band ever.
Lots of Top 40 from over the years. I love starting runs with Eminem’s Lose Yourself. Don’t judge.
punk rock tax lawyer
“Lose Yourself” is quite possibly the greatest psych-up song ever written. Anyone who judges anyone for listening to that song while working out is missing out.
+1. That is the most motivating song ever!
I listen to a lot of ridiculous stuff when I work out. Current list:
Lost it All – Topher Jones
Earthquake – Labrinth
Muthaf**ka Up – Tyga/Nicki Minaj
P.I.M.P – 50 Cent (don’t judge me)
The Motto – Drake/Lil Wayne
Smile Back – Mac Miller
Robot – Trip Lee
Doms, Sam (Is Dead), Forest Green and NY – Odd Future
Fire (Yes Yes Y’all) – Joe Budden
Diva – Beyonce
Still D.R.E. – Dr Dre
These are great. Now to either wait for my fiancee to get them for me or to just get in touch with my inner credit card…. Decisions decisions…
Does anyone have suggestions for cute wear-around-town shoes for the spring/summer? I don’t have a car right now and walk a lot, so they need to be supportive and up to the abuse. Flats or a low wedge preferred. I just want something that will look fine with crops, khakis, casual skirts, etc and not give me foot or leg pain when I’m on my feet for hours. Most of the “good for your feet” shoes I find are hideous. Help??
I really like the Naturalizer Maudes, but I know some people think these trend old.
I’m wearing my black pair of Maude’s today, and absolutely love them. I’ve also got them in red and pewter and am thinking about getting them in coffee as well. I have a hard time finding flats that are comfortable, so why not load up?
Ha! Wearing my cookie dough Maude’s today. Love em!
I have black and blue, and want to add at least one more color. They are the perfect work flat!
just got some me too black flats that are super comfy.
They’re pricey, but Taryn Rose makes good for your feet shoes that are cute.
I’ve got the worst feet–here are a pair of sporty shoes that I just got that are SO comfy. More of a walk-around shoe/commuter shoe–definitely not office appropriate except at the most casual of offices: http://www.zappos.com/teva-makena-ballerina-ws-black.
I am thinking of getting a similar pair (the Teva Mush Frios — terrible name). Do I get my sneaker size (9.5) or my flats size (9)?
I think the Toms wedges are cute. And they have a new style of flats (shows more of the top of the foot). The regular Toms I have are very comfortable, but I go back and forth between thinking they are cute or not! I definitely think the wedges are cute!
Narrow and Flat
I just spent several months looking for the same thing. I ended up with a pair of black Jack Purcell sneakers from Converse. Yes, I am 45. Yes, they are the exact same shoe that my 16 year old step-daughter wears to school most days. So sue me. They fit properly, they are comfortable/supportive and they go (they don’t add to, but they don’t clash) with most of my outfits.
Moccasin-style shoes are popular right now, imo, and super comfy, although maybe a bit hot for summer. I tend to wear mocs spring/fall and flip flops in the summer, though.
I was thinking about mocs/boat shoes, as I love to sail and could get a cute pair of Sperrys or something that could do double-duty. Usually I wear more functional sneaker-type shoes when I’m sailing because I don’t want to worry about whether they’ll stay on my feet, but I do love the “Angelfish” style. Maybe I’ll just get a pair and call it good.
I’m a little late to the party here, but I just got the pair of Lands’ End Gatas canvas slip-on shoes, and they are both cute and *supremely* comfortable. They have an almost tempur-Pedic like sole. Love!
If you’re in the Northwest, Keens or Danskos. I’m not sure about other areas of the country, but there are thousands of women wandering around in Keens in the summer here.
NGDGTCO question: Does anyone else really struggle with introducing themselves/answering the phone/leaving voicemails/etc by their full name? My boss always answers the phone “Attorney Lastname” and sounds so crisp and professional, but I have a hard time saying “Attorney Stone.” I also tend to say “This is Lucy from the Blahblah Office calling” when I think I should be saying “This is Attorney Lucy Stone from the Blahblah Office.” How do I retrain myself?
Always a NYer
Post-it above your phone. It sounds silly but seeing it as you’re on the call will help.
I don’t think you need to say “Attorney Lucy Stone” (that sounds really weird to me). I think just “This is Lucy Stone from Law Firm, calling on behalf of Client” is fine.
The way I got trained into saying my full name was at the very first client meeting I went to out of undergrad (where I introduced myself with just my first name), on the way back to the office the (male) managing (manageing!) director turned to me and said, “in the future you should introduce yourself with your first and last name.” I was all of 23 and so.mortified that I never introduced myself by just my first name again!
I learned this lesson from When Harry Met Sally and what she says about a whole generation of cocktail waitresses walking around. I’ve used both names ever since I saw that movie.
I learned this lesson from When Harry Met Sally and what she says about a whole generation of c*ck t ail waitresses walking around. I’ve used both names ever since I saw that movie.
That quote is exactly why I always regret not using my full name!
I believe you are referring to You’ve Got Mail
Embarrassment will do it every time!!!
I think it’s weird to have someone use a title when answering the phone – unless the title is “Doctor” or “Professor” (however, I’m not a lawyer and don’t work with any, so I don’t know what is typical). I don’t blame you for having a hard time with this, and I think it’s fine if you answer your phone “Lucy Stone.” When leaving voicemails, you could try something like, “This is Lucy Stone, attorney on the XYZ case.”
I have a long, hyphenated name, and I have problems with this, too. Sometimes it’s fine, but sometimes when I say my full name, people get a panicked look like, “OMG, this little woman has so many names and I wasn’t expecting it and OMG HOW WILL I REMEMBER ALL OF THIS?!?!?” So, I often just introduce myself by my first name and instantly regret it.
I hear you. I have a challenging last name (and a fairly unique first name), and I often have the urge to just use my first because I feel badly for people. But then I think “It’s my name, I own it, and you need to learn it dangit.”
Whether I use my full name or title depends on what I’m doing. If I’m answering the phone, I just answer “This is Jessica”. Generally I figure if someone’s calling me, they already know I’m an attorney. If I’m calling another attorney (and don’t have a number that I know will go direct to the attorney) and I get a receptionist/assistant I usually answer by saying “This attorney Jessica C—-. I’m calling on the such-and-such matter? OR Can I speak to so-and-so?” I find this is the best way to get directly through to the attorney rather than be forwarded to their assistant. I do pretty much the same thing when leaving voicemails.
I learned to do it from my boss and just forced myself to do it. After a while it became second nature.
You can also work attorney into your spiel if you don’t want to add it to your name. I will say, “Hi, this is Blonde Lawyer, I’m an attorney at FIRM and we represent Client in the matter against YOUR CLIENT.”
I think it is very odd for someone to say, “Attorney Lucy Stone.” I’ve only heard “Lucy Stone” or “this is Lucy” when answering the phone. I would say you should use your first and last name, but I think throwing Attorney before it sounds funny, and frankly, a bit pretentious. It sort of reminds of Steve Colbert when he is using all his titles – The Rev. Sir Dr. Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert, D.F.A.
Word. I am not an attorney but work with a lot of them, I would find someone who referred to themselves as Attorney Stone totally pretentious.
I think Blonde Lawyer’s method is the way to go. Unless your have an honorific that people actually would address you with in conversation like Professor X or Secretary Y, you should refer to yourself by your first name.
I would say 90% of the attorneys in our community do it, hence why I feel like I should…I should mention that despite being here four years, I am the youngest attorney in town. Newer grads have been hired but they are all older than me.
In defense of the strange introduction… sometimes I do it because my voice sounds like a 12 year old on the phone and unless I specifically announce that I’m an attorney, support staff never put me through to the actual attorney on the case.
I always answer my work phone with just my first and last names. It sounds professional enough to my ears and leaves no doubt who the caller is talking to. I think it sounds weird to say “Attorney Lastname” because it’s not a stand-alone title (i.e. “she’s an attorney” works but “oh, hello Attorney” doesn’t). When leaving a message, I say something like “hello, this is Turtle Wexler from XYZ Office calling, etc.” If it’s someone I have been dealing with regularly and we’re on first-name terms, then I’ll drop the last name when calling that person.
When I was a resident, we were instructed to use our first and last name and department on the phone and it worked really well, so “this is First name Last Name from General Surgery, I’m calling about….” it conveyed who we were and was professional without being over the top. And we rolled our eyes at everyone who used “Dr” when they were talking to another physician, like — “this is Dr. Smith calling you about your patient.” It was totally over the top and douche-y.
“attorney last name” sounds super pretentious. Because then they can’t call you by your first name. I think you should say “lucy stone” and when calling say This is lucy stone, an attorney with blahblah office. “attorney” isn’t really a title, it is a profession. it isnt the same as doctor.
I always always always say [first name] TCFKAG from xxx Law. I think Attorney TCFKAG sounds like old-man partner is calling. But I try to avoid just first name in professional phone calls — and if I answer the phone at work I always answer with first and last name.
Every once in a while, I get emails/mail from other (out-of-town) attorneys addressed to Attorney Lastname, and I always find it really odd. Maybe it is common in some areas, but it is unusual where I am. I do always introduce myself as Firstname Lastname. I have issues with the phone, and I sometimes write down my first few sentences before I make a phone call. Try writing down how you’re going to identify yourself before you call – it works!
I answer the phone with “This is Bluejay” if I know the caller or “Bluejay Lastname speaking” if I don’t. When I call someone I don’t know well, I say “Hi, this is Bluejay Lastname from Employer calling [regarding XYZ/returning your call]”.
Honestly, I say “This is CA Atty” when answering the phone. When calling someone I usually say “CA Atty, attorney from [my office] calling for.”
Also, funny to see that TCFKAG thinks of “TCFKAG” as her last name and Bluejay thinks of “Bluejay” as her first name, and I think of CA Atty as my first and last! :-)
I noticed that too! Thought it was more interesting that TCFKAG thinks of that as her last name.
I also say, “This is Firstname” when I answer the phone. My last name is a little longer, and doesn’t really flow smoothly with my firstname or “Attorney.”
I don’t mean to sound snobby, but calling yourself “Attorney Lastname” is a very suburban, small law firm thing to do. I’ve never heard anyone from BigLaw call themselves this. You say “This is FirstName Lastname from Law Firm Name calling.”
This is what I say: Hello/Good Morning, this is First Name Last Name from Law Firm in City, State with regard to the Hubba Bubba matter.
And I always repeat my name and number because I hate when someone only leaves a name/number once and I miss it and have to go back and replay the entire message.
I practice in rural Wisconsin.
I completely understand. The snob who said “this sounds very suburban small firm” is wrong to take that tone. To succeed in a certain locale, industry or niche, one MUST use the local custom, and know your audience. Just because they do something in Biglaw, doesn’t mean it is correct for your clients/firm.
MOST attorneys are NOT in biglaw. Keep that in mind.
While the practice is different in larger cities or larger firms, if the custom in your office and locality is to use “Attorney Smith” go ahead and do it. If you are calling a larger firm in a larger city, you can always alter it to “This is Susan Smith” instead.
Precisely. If I call one of the big firms in Madison or Milwaukee, I say “This is Lucy Stone from the Blah Blah Office calling for Thomas Jefferson” and that’s just fine, but up here, if you want to penetrate the support staff, you need to ID yourself as an attorney.
Glad somebody else gets it!
Lucy, does your receptionist also just say “Law Office” when she picks up the phone, instead of the name of the firm? I came from the suburbs of a major metro area where no one would ever say “Attorney LastName” or “Law Office” (which is why I find GW calling “Attorney Lastname” a suburban practice hilarious), but now I am in a rural area and I’m learning things are quite different!
I work for the government, so our receptionist says “Thank you for calling the City Attorney’s Office.” About half the firms here say Law Office. It’s so weird but it is local custom.
A lot of the receptionists say “Law Office” in my town because they are shared between multiple attorneys. Attorneys share offices. (Like me.)
And it invites much behind-the-back mocking when someone does it in a bigger city….
Thoughts on whether orange or red colored shoes that can work as neutrals? I like the look of the Emma and Amanda demi wedges from Tory Burch, and I’m looking for a summer-y casual wedge, but I’m debating whether a bright orange or a blood red color can ever be a “neutral” to wear with summer dresses.
Fun game for those interested:
I’m getting married in October. We have yet to figure out a honeymoon location. We have 10 days, including travel time from DC. Under $5k, ideally less, including everything. Where should we go? We like food and wine and are leaning Napa, but keeping options open. We’d like to do more than just sit on a beach somewhere warm (although a couple days of that would not be looked down on!) so some activities would be nice– hiking, biking, horseback riding, snorkeling, tours, anything really. Don’t think there’s enough time (or money) to go to Europe. Would love suggestions!
One of my good friends left today for a honeymoon in Charleston. They are going on ghost tours, a kayaking adventure, a cruise around the harbor, massages, cooking classes, and some other fun-sounding things. The beach is a couple of hours away, I think.
Her description made me want to go there, and it sounds like a great honeymoon destination!
Charleston is awesome. My family has been vacationing near there every summer for the past few years and we always make at least one day trip into Charleston.
In addition to the fun stuff to do in town, I believe Folly Beach is actually *in* Charleston (if not, it’s very close by).
Rose in Bloom
Folly Beach is technically a separate municipality, but yes it is fairly close by. I happen to prefer Sullivan’s Island as far as local beaches go as it is much more residential and less crowded than Folly.
Charleston in October has lovely weather, but is too cold for sitting by the beach if that is what you wanted to do. Otherwise, as the above posters said there is a lot of history/shopping/sightseeing things to do. If you are interested, I can give lots of recommendations as this is my hometown.
We went to Grand Turk in the Turks and Caicos for our honeymoon (in December). I’m pretty sure we did it for less than 5k, including airfare. We mostly scuba dove as there is not much else to do on Grand Turk, but if you go to Provo or to some of the other islands there is a lot more to do. We loved it and want to go back again.
What about Louisiana and the Gulf Coast. Not sure about the wine, but the food is certainly awesome and there’re lots of activities to do. And there would be less traveling.
My brother and sister-in-law honeymooned at the Grand Hotel Resort in Fairhope, AL (just outside of Mobile) and really loved it. We went their a couple years ago as well – it’s really nice. On the bay, nice resort activities, some history (the hotel was a civil war hospital), gorgeous pool, nice folks, cute little town, not expensive. If you go, and if you’re not adverse to doing a really great (expensive) dinner, ask about the “secret garden” meal – they set up a private meal overlooking the bay. Hubby and I did it and it was fabulous.
The Grand Hotel is gorgeous. It’s in Point Clear, AL, right outside of Fairhope. My best girlfriend and I used to go there every year for the Friday after Thanksgiving (we would go outlet shopping at the giant outlet mall at Foley). Fairhope is a cute little town and there are tons of activities. And it’s really close to the ocean (it’s on Mobile Bay). Get a bay view and you can sleep with the sliding door open all night hearing the waves crashing. So relaxing.
We honeymooned in the French Quarter in New Orleans and it was so incredibly romantic I’m still blown away by it several years later (husband planned it as a surprise).
You can definitely do Ireland (I’m looking into a 2 week trip right now that, including flights from NYC and hotels, is slightly under 5k). My tentative itinerary basically involves Dublin for a few days, and then driving around the country. You can fly into Dublin and fly out of Shannon airport. I think Scotland would probably also be affordable, but I’ve never looked into it.
Also, Paris is a completely reasonable flight as well (maybe 6-8 hours), and you could spend time in both Paris and the Loire Valley. I’m sure you could find very reasonable hotels (or do an apartment rental).
A good friend of mine went to the Pacific Northwest for her honeymoon (Cannon Beach/Portland) and they did a lot of hiking, horseback riding, a cooking class, and wine tasting in Willamette Valley (which I highly recommend), but October is probably going to be chilly/rainy.
You might want to contact a travel agent. For my honeymoon we worked with a travel agent from American Express, and they are completely willing to put together a draft itinerary for you based on your price range and what you’re interested in doing. They have people who specialize in all areas of the world.
Have fun! My honeymoon (French Polynesia) was the best vacation of my life (so far).
SF Bay Associate
I’d vote Healdsburg over Napa, or do 4-5 days in Russian River/Healdsburg and 4-5 days in Napa. Your money will go a lot farther than in Napa, and I actually like that region better. The weather will be warm, but not hot in October. However, 10 days is a LOT of wine tasting. Biking across wine country is very popular, and there’s hiking all over but obviously we don’t have snorkeling or other water activities. Alternatively, you could do 4-5 days up in wine country, and then drive down to San Francisco for a change of pace for the remaining 4-5 days. Or 4-5 in wine country, and 4-5 in the spectacular redwoods/Mendocino area. Fabulous hikes.
New Orleans has amazing food (more cocktails than wine, I think), but won’t be hot in October either. Also, the jazz scene is incredible and absurdly affordable, if you’re into that.
Beginning of October is still hot in New Orleans. It starts dropping a little by mid-month.
SF Bay Associate
So, I’m dumb because I said the naughty mixed-alcholic drinks word. Trying again:
I’d vote Healdsburg over Napa, or do 4-5 days in Russian River/Healdsburg and 4-5 days in Napa. Your money will go a lot farther than in Napa, and I actually like that region better. The weather will be warm, but not hot in October. However, 10 days is a LOT of wine tasting. Biking across wine country is very popular, and there’s hiking all over but obviously we don’t have snorkeling or other water activities. Alternatively, you could do 4-5 days up in wine country, and then drive down to San Francisco for a change of pace for the remaining 4-5 days. Or 4-5 in wine country, and 4-5 in the spectacular redwoods/Mendocino area. Fabulous hikes.
New Orleans has amazing food (more [mixed alcoholic beverages] than wine, I think), but won’t be hot in October either. Also, the jazz scene is incredible and absurdly affordable, if you’re into that.
We honeymooned in Aspen that time of year. It was awesome. The weather was fabulous (think mid 50s-60s during the day below freezing at night with bright blue skies) it was super cheap because of the off season and there’s good food there. We hiked, spa’d, napped, ate great meals my husband mountain biked, etc etc etc. If you love the mountains, it is fabulous!
We stayed in a condo at the Gant, which is close enough to town to not need a car, and got upgraded to a 2 bedroom condo which was awesome.
Coming from DC with ten days total, I’d consider:
* Food and wine-focused trip to San Francisco and Sonoma County. (No sunning on beach time, though.)
* Costa Rica (beaches, ziplining, surf camp, some luxury days at a place like the Four Seasons on the Papagayo peninsula – Pacific Coast side);
* Belize or Tulum (beaches, Mayan sites, great food – at least from what I’ve heard – these are still on my to-visit list!);
* New Orleans (food and music);
* Buenos Aires and the Mendoza wine region of Argentina (long flight, but not as much time zone difference as Europe, so hopefully less jet lag);
Your money won’t go as far, but if you do want to consider Europe, you could have a solid week/8 days and nights in one city, which is a fun way to focus travel IMHO. Esp. if you pick that one city for its food and wine. To spend as little time in transit as possible, aim for a city that has direct flights from DC (that still gives you lots of options). DH and I also love food and wine and spent our honeymoon in Spain. We started with a week in the Basque country, which was *amazing.* Restaurants Arzak, Mugaritz and Berasatagui are all in San Sebastian or within a taxi ride. Amazing tapas/pinxtos bars in the Old Town. And San Sebastian is gorgeous, with the town surrounding La Concha beach. You’d have to fly into Bilbao, Madrid or Barcelona. (You could also travel to the Rioja wine region, which is close, but be forewarned that you can’t just drop into wineries for wine tasting, as you can in Napa/Sonoma. You have to set up appointments in advance.)
Barcelona would also be a great one-city food and wine destination, with the same plus of being sited right on a beach. (Haven’t yet been myself). El Bulli is now closed, but there is still El Celler de Can Roca.
Or Paris. Or Milan, Florence or Rome. . . .
I spent 5 months in Bilbao studying abroad and absolutely loved it. Every time I go to a Spanish Tapas style restaurant here in the states I am sorely disappointed. Glad to hear that someone else enjoyed it as much as I did though.
Wow, thank you so much everyone for the wonderful ideas! I’ll let you know where we end up deciding– lots of thinking to do!!
You can also check out sites like Vacationist or Jetsetter that often have sales for places that look really fabulous. For instance, Vacationist currently has a Santorini hotel sale, and a 10-day block in October costs $1,500.
Ooh I’m all over jet setter but haven’t seen this vacationist! Thank you!!
We’re headed to Belize, with a side stop in Guatemala for our honeymoon one week from today – we’ve got a similar budget a timeline as you, so I’ll report back how it goes!
Second for Argentina. Buenos Aires has a very European feel and you can also tack on a second destination for variety like Mendoza (wine country), Iguazu (amazing waterfalls in lush tropics), or Patagonia (mountains). October is prime time to watch the whale migrations. Keep in mind that the seasons are opposite so October is like April. The flight is long but there is a direct flight on United that is not too painful. If you’re looking at the Caribbean, October is during hurricane season so avoid the places in the middle.
Remember there are direct flights from IAD to Paris and Rome. I left D.C. at 10 p.m. and was in Paris by 11:30.
This might come off as a strange suggestion, but consider Cartagena, Colombia. Cultural attractions, gorgeous outdoorsy hiking (Tayrona National Park is truly unbelievable), sitting on beach if you so feel like it, wonderful food, friendly people, really breathtaking and colorful architecture. Plus it’s cheaper than Europe and California and closer than people think!
Oh, this is just 1 person’s experience, but don’t go to Cartagena. We were only there for a day on a larger tour and we will never go back. The tour driver was inappropriate and aggressive, ultimately only speaking to me (the “bigshot mafia attorney, hope we don’t get shot today hur hur”) and another woman who spoke Spanish but could barely understand his dialect. He referred to himself as the N word, talked about taking the men to find wh*res, etc…
The city is very dirty, and we found the street vendors oppressive. One guy actually reached out and grabbed the glasses off one of our tour group member’s face! He was trying to sell sunglasses and this guy was wearing regular glasses. The guy was completely blind without his glasses. It made enjoying anything in the city, the fort, the old walls, etc…completely impossible because every step you took you were being accosted by people who will literally grab your hand and shove things into it.
The architecture was cool and the guidebook and pictures were amazing, but that was not our actual experience. Same with Panama actually, now Costa Rica.I could LIVE in Costa Rica, not just visit.
Friendly people (who yes, are probably thinking “American dollars!” but at least weren’t actively trying to shove things into your arms, beautiful countryside, amazing rainforests, tons of wildlife. We saw a huge snake, a toucan, three scarlet macaws and a monkey with her baby clinging on! (In the wild, not at one of the sanctuaries. I don’t know that I would like a sanctuary, cages make me sad, but some of the people on our tour LOVED it.)
I really want to go to Cartagena! Glad to see someone give it some love :) I have a friend from high school who lived there for six months, and looking at her pictures–geez. It just looks so, so incredible.
I went to Cartagena last year for a wedding and it was one of the best vacations of my life. However, I was with people who was from Cartagena and were able to show me around, so I understand that’s not how most people experience the city on vacation. I would go back in a heartbeat though.
Check out The Phoenix in Belize. Reasonable prices, really nice location, great facilities, and a really nice island vibe. Tripadvisor ratings are spot on. When you get tired of beach/island activities, you can boat over to the mainland and explore the different ruins, go zip lining or cave tubing. Not usually a big hurricane threat in October. Weather will be nice.
South or Central America! You could do a semi- adventure vacation- those tend to be a little bit more budget friendly than regular vacations.
This weekend I went for a long run on a popular running path. During my run, I was lunged at by a very aggressive man with an obvious mental health problem. Nothing happened (thank goodness), but it made me realize that I need to get serious about making sure that I’m safe when running. So, ladies, what do you do to ensure your safety while running?
No suggestions (I don’t run) – just glad to hear that you are okay!!!
Your post sounded like the first scene in an episode of Grimm — so, I’m also glad to hear you are safe!! :)
I do a few things but probably not enough. I don’t run substantial distances (2-3 mi before I need to walk) so your mileage may vary in how much use you get out of these – however I do walk long distances (6-10miles) with my dog, who is 10lb and of no use to me if I get attacked, and still try to follow these principles, which relate to safety from attackers, injuries while alone, being hit by a car or bike, etc.
1) I don’t run alone on deserted paths, especially at night. I try to stick to well lit areas with lots of other runners.
2) Not withstanding the above, if I *am* somewhere deserted, I run with my keys between my knuckles in case of attack.
3) I try to wear bright/reflective clothing and cross at crosswalks when the light is in my favor.
4) I wear a slim Wrist ID Road ID (http://www.roadid.com/Common/default.aspx) in case I get injured or am unconscious, as I don’t usually carry my phone or wallet with me while running.
5) This may be controversial but when running on the street (ie, not a designated running path) I don’t use headphones as it is a distraction for me from cars/bikes/etc.
6) I stick some cash in the pocket of my shoe (usually a $20) in case I’m in a situation that I need it. I haven’t yet but good to have some cash just in case.
My friend has pepper spray on a wrist band — that would probably be the most help against an attacker.
The cash is an excellent idea, too, as is bright reflective clothing.
Also: make eye contact with drivers, even when you have the walk signal or whatever — sad truth is that lots of people don’t look for pedestrians.
If I am going anywhere but my neighborhood, I make sure I have my phone. A couple years ago, my roommate and I went walking in late afternoon on a path outside DC. We somehow got off the path, got way lost, and ended up walking through a deserted industrial area at night. Scary!! We finally found an apartment building with a doorman who called us a cab. Never go without that phone anymore.
Oh – and we had to get the cab to take us home first b/c we didn’t have any money, and then take us back to the car. So money and phone are biggies!
Yikes, that would have scared the cr@p out of me!
The best that you can do is to be smart. That means:
(1) Road ID (or similar) on you at all times
(2) No music or music turned down low enough that you are extremely aware of your surroundings (I am guilty of violating this one)
(3) Someone (spouse, friend, parent) knows: (a) where you are running and (b) approximately how long it should take (if something happens such that it is going to take a heck of a lot longer, call/text — see (5))
(4) Run in well-lit areas where other folks are generally around, or would pass by sooner rather than later in the event of an emergency
(5) Have your cell phone with you
(6) Run with a buddy if at all possible — even your dog is better than by yourself
(7) Trust your instincts. If something seems wrong, feels off, or whatever — do not hesitate. Run in the opposite direction, scream, whatever. Better to be embarassed later than find out too late that your instincts were right.
I think that the odds are higher that I will injure myself on a run than that I will get attacked, but these “run smart” rules are designed to put you in the best possible position in either instance.
I agree with both of the above comments, and heartily endorse the “no music” rule unless I’m running in a well-trafficked area in the middle of the day. I also often carry my cell phone, especially if I’m out in the early morning before it’s light or in the evening.
Scary. Did you see the person at all before he lunged? I listen to music, but I’m constantly looking around. I usually run in the a.m. and occasionally see high schoolers headed to school super early or other random people. No matter how safe they seem, I still cross the street, so I’m on the opposite side from them and keep glancing back at them until I’m at a safe distance. I also turn my music down when I see someone. I probably over-paranoid, but w/e.
I saw him, but I did not hear him ask for a dollar, which is apparently why he got angry and lunged at me.
So, there are two separate issues here:
(1) Protecting yourself against the premeditated attack. This person has a plan, and will go for the softest target. Don’t be a soft target – wear bright colors, carry your phone, don’t run in the dark/in isolated areas, let someone know where you are going and when you’ll be back. Make eye contact with people you pass. Don’t wear headphones.
(2) Protecting yourself against the attacker who is imbalanced (either because he’s drunk/high, or because he’s not wired right). This sounds like what you encountered. This one is harder because the attacker is NOT rational, and won’t think twice about coming at you full force in a crowd of people, which is probably when you are least expecting it because we are conditioned to feel “safer”. For this guy, apart from the obvious (be aware of your surroundings, no headphones, no isolated areas, etc) your best bet is to train in self defense. Regularly. Seriously – regularly. Find a regular class, either self-defense or martial arts, and practice.practice.practice.
When I used to go for long runs (sigh)–
1. I never wore headphones when I ran outside.
2. I usually carried a little cash (maybe a twenty tucked in my sports bra). The strategy of tossing cash on the ground to distract someone, which is often suggested if you’re mugged, could work.
3. I generally didn’t run in super-isolated areas and would see a few other people while I was out. This really depends on your area, but I often would say hello or nod at people I passed (either overtook or going in opposite directions). If something happened and I started screaming or yelling, I’d want them to remember seeing me, and maybe that would make them more inclined to do something.
When I’m running alone:
1. I always run during daylight.
2. I always run where there are at least cars that I could flag down.
3. No music.
4. I take my phone (I put it in a ziplock baggie so sweat doesn’t ruin it)
Did you report this incident to the police? If not, I would, so that if this guy does actually harm someone, there will be a record of this incident. And the police may even be willing to do some patrols of the path, depending on the size of your city. In my small town, they would definitely have someone patrol the path for at least a few days if something like this was reported.
Glad you are ok. My tip is for us women to look out for other women. Years ago I was hiking on a established but often empty path in the woods in my town. I crossed paths with an older woman who looked at me with concern but said nothing. A minute later she came jogging up behind me to tell me that a group of several men were hanging idly around the path ahead where it bottlenecks. I was headed right for them. I turned around and left.
Odds are nothing would have happened. But what if they had? I appreciate this woman going out of her way to look out for me. I try to do the same today, but mostly that involves telling people with little dogs that I’ve seen a coyote off the trail. Some appreciate it, some don’t.
I don’t run, but I walk, and where I live I encounter people like the man you describe. I just stick to the beaten path where there’s no way I’ll be out of sight of other people for more than a minute and my cries for help would definitely be heard. There’s not much you can do to avoid every possible attacker, short of only running on a treadmill.
Yikes! I am glad you are okay. I do pepper spray in the hand when running at night. It used to drive me mad but I am used to it now. Also, I leave a note for my roommate that I am gone running and that way if I don’t come back, she knows where I was.
This SUCKS but I never run with headphones if it is night or somewhere there are not a lot of people. Running with a friend really helps.
I also wear my road ID (this also applies to college football season so I can be returned safely home)
This is a pretty big issue. I 100% echo the suggestion about pepper spray. I used to carry pepper spray all the time, because I was actually attacked one night while walking in my neighborhood. Luckily, I was actually larger than my 2 attackers (I think they were early teens but didn’t get a good look) and they tried to subdue me with rope first, so I ripped the rope out of the hands and swung it at them while screaming at the top of my lungs and then walked, didn’t run and therefore show fear, back towards a main road. I could hear them following me, but I yelled at them that I could hear them, and they took off down a side street when the main road and a group including one person I sort of knew came into view.
Just, make sure you know how to use the pepper spray, and make sure it’s good (i.e. don’t keep it for 10 years and then try to fire it, at least with bear spray (similar but not identical) that doesn’t work!)
Always run with a phone that is charged, I almost never take money because I’m not in an area I would even be able to call a cab anyway, Road ID is a good idea, though I don’t have one. I run with headphones, though I usually listen to books on tape which I can usually hear over, but any time I see another person I take one and sometimes both plugs out of my ears. I run in a neighborhood in a retirement community pretty frequently these days, and I’ve never been in fear (mostly because the next youngest person is pushing 90!) but even passing little Ms. Jones weeding her flowerbed, I take my ear plug out, I think it’s neighborly.
Oh yeah, and definitely trust your instincts. I was in a neighborhood I don’t normally run in and a car went by…then about 2 minutes later it went by again and coasted to the curb about 50 yards in front of me. It was dusk, but there were no lights on and I could see two shadows in the car that didn’t seem to be moving at all. They were probably teenagers making out but I turned around and went the other direction. I hesitated because I didn’t want to interrupt and mar my run, not to mention these folks thinking that I was afraid of them if they were harmless. But I realized I didn’t care. Like I told another runner recently, you’re running the line between “this person is just weird and is not realized how threatening their behavior is” and “Breaking News: Body parts of female runner found scattered across 4 counties.”
My #1 fear is teenage boys. No lie. I was running after work one day (still daylight on a well traveled NYC road) and when I passed a group of teenage boys, one of them lunged at me and screamed. He was only aiming to scare me, not attack me, but… assault nonetheless. But srsly, holy sh*t. I cannot believed they tried to put a rope around you, I would have peed myself.
(regular commenter, but new handle for this)
This weekend’s ritual of pulling spring clothes out of storage has forced me to confront yet again the fact that I have ugly legs. They are athletic and toned (I run 5Ks and exercise regularly), but so white as to be translucent, and covered in spider veins.
Even when I have a tan for me, I look like most other people look in the dead of winter. I am a very pale ginger. You can see my blue veins easily on my arms and legs, but my legs are really unattractive. I love to wear dresses year-round, so I really love the winter when tights are acceptable. I work in DC for a federal agency.
I don’t ever wear anything above the knee, but this year I’m feeling more self-conscious about my legs than ever. Vein treatments are out of the budget. So I guess my question is, am I offending people with my ugly legs on the street? Do I need to start investing in Dermablend and Clarins self-tanner? Or just pretend that this is like a birthmark, and ignore it?
I highly doubt you are offending anyone and most people probably don’t even notice. It is probably just more obvious to you. I’ve mentioned before that I use the “red light machine” collagen booster at Planet Fitness, my local gym. I also have thin skin and visible veins on my face. The red light machine has really helped mask them and I swear by it. Use of the machine is free with my membership. I also bought their face cream for days I can’t get to the machine. I think they sell a body cream too. So, if you have a place that does red light therapy near you, consider it.
PS: My brother is a 22 year old “ginger” with an Irish red afro. Even short, his hair is curly and poufy. He has expressed some concerns about being taken seriously in future jobs with his “ginger-ness.” He noted to me once, “you rarely see gingers in a suit.” I blame south park for all this ginger self-hate.
I *love* gingers! I wish I was a redhead!
Same! I think it’s the most beautiful, striking hair color. I like my natural hair color, but if I were ever moved to change it, it would be to join the Ginger Army.
Oh, duh, for the OP–you are not offending anyone. I can almost guarantee you that no one is going to notice your skin tone or veins. Own it! There are so many beautiful, pale-skinned ladies rocking it right now–Anne Hathaway, Zooey Deschanel, Emma Stone.
I’m sure you are not offending anyone! Fair skin can be so beautiful – look at Anne Hathaway. I think her skin is lovely.
But if you are wanting a tan, you might take a look at this article. It talks about eating certain foods to avoid a sunburn and get a tan. http://www.marksdailyapple.com/8-natural-ways-to-prevent-a-sunburn-and-sunscreens-not-one-of-them/#axzz1stetwLJs
No way, dude, just own it. I totally don’t get the oompa loompa look that’s coveted by so many.
Rose in Bloom
You can also see my circulatory system at all times (the Red Cross loves me when I go to give blood because it is so easy to see the vein. . . although sticking me is another matter). I used to be bothered by the ones on my legs and did the gradual Jergens self-tanner lotion. Then I got tired of having to do this and decided I was going to rejoice in my paleness. I’ve also found that the comments regarding my lack of color have decreased the older I get.
I have the same problem & am very self conscious about it. I have been using Air Stocking (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000O7NHVS/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&seller=). It is a spray-on bronzer that not only covers up most of my spider veins, but also makes it look like I’m wearing tights. It has made a huge difference for me!
You know, it never even occurred to me that my super-pale legs and blue veins might be considered ugly until I started reading this site. I love C o r p o r e t t e, but a lot of y’all are way too self-conscious.
I am one of the self-conscious ones but I completely agree. I can’t do much about my paper-white skin (and perpetual half-sunburn in the summer) so I just don’t! I embrace it! I still hate it but it’s me, and like someone else said, most likely nobody else is even noticing.
If it really bothers you though, and you’re going to self-tan, I advise you to go to a sprayer. The lotions are way too stinky, too much work, and not 1/3 of the benefit.
I’m sure I’m self conscious about other things that you never think about. If it helps, I’m so sensitive to the sun that I don’t just burn; in intense sun, even wearing SPF I break out in a rash within minutes. It’s long sleeves and a hat for me all summer long.
I’m not going to self-tan. I just had never even really noticed that my veins were blue until someone was complaining about their blue veins on here, and I was like, hey, me too. I also have a scar on my knee that I happily show off in my slightly-too-short-for-work-really skirts. C’est la vie.
Oh, no no oops I meant if it bothered OP, you didn’t seem bothered at
Yeah, I have wicked pale legs, too, but I am usually more self conscious about remembering when the last time I shaved was (not that it was long ago, but my hair grows very quickly) than the whiteness of my legs. If they don’t like it, tough… they can look away. (Though sometimes the light seems to reflect off my skin, especially in pictures, and that is a little awkward.)
Pale skin used to be beautiful, not tan. I have no need to go out of my way to fit someone else’s definition of beauty (especially if it potentially involves cancer) – if you own it, you are confident, and if you are confident, you are beautiful.
Agreed, Bluejay. I have to make a conscious effort not to fidget with stuff about myself that I didn’t know existed before I started reading this site–do I have more than two fly-away hairs? is the shoe:skin ratio on my sandal acceptable for the workplace? are there chips in my nail polish, thus revealing chips in my soul?
But then I take a deep breath, remind myself that I’m fabulous, and get on with my life.
this is embarrassing but when I was in high school I used to sit in the tanning bed with just my legs in and read on the top part because my legs were so pale. I had skin cancer removed from my achilles when I was 28. :(
I have the same problem PLUS eczema so all self tanners make my skin really itchy later in the night causing me to rip holes in my skin and create scarring – and before that rashes. I did get the vein treatment and more came back this year in different places. I took Co-Q10 religiously all year long. Plus what about all the veins that are just not removable? It’s just my actual circulatory system teaching the children of the world about how blood travels back to the heart. Can’t kill those veins.
I really REALLY hate how it is acceptable to comment on the color of my skin because I am pale (AKA you need some sun!). Or when I am in a bikini, for people to say I am blinding them. (Actually I prefer that comment to those that come from forgetting to shave my bikini area). Um hello, I have a six pack first time ever.
Therefore the only solution is to not care. Embrace your athletic legs and think about how some people are tanning to cover up their cellulite and they wish they had your athletic legs.
I am so pale I make my ginger friends look tan. Wear the skirts and dresses if you want. I do find Jergens self-tanner helps.
(Also a regular poster but anon for this)
I have a related question. My legs are quite tanned but the tone is not uneven. I have a number of dark spots and scars. And I have thin skin so after I shave you can still see faint pink spots at the roots. I too love wearing dresses but feel very conscious in summer. If you saw legs that were a bit splotched and spotted, would you judge? Would you think “this girl doesn’t know how to shave?” Honest answers, please! And any advice for fixing this. Thanks!
My honest answer: I wouldn’t notice and if I did, I wouldn’t care. My advice for fixing it: stop nitpicking at yourself and own your beauty. You have tanned legs (not that not-tanned legs aren’t gorgeous as well)! You wear pretty dresses! You are smart and talented and fabulous!
Maybe you could use a depillatory? I stopped shaving about 5 years ago because I got such bad razor burn and have used Veet instead, and I no longer get the pink spots you describe.
But anyway, I don’t think I’d really notice your legs either way. I’m thinking about it, and I know my coworkers wear skirts all the time and I can’t think of what a single one of their legs looks like.
Honestly, I don’t look too closely at other peoples legs. I admire great shaped legs but
I don’t think anyone is looking closely enough to notice ‘blemishes’.
Go the pale legs! I like the look.
Much better that matches the rest of you (and you aren’t slathering yourself in stainig
chemicals and getting weird fake tan blotchy ankles).
I have this too! My legs are in awful shape after years of sports, an inability to shave, and an ability to bump into everything possible but my legs are generally shapely so I will wear skirts and people can deal. I earned these scars.
Yes, I have at least three easily noticed scars and am always scratching myself up, I know not how. I say that means you do cool enough things to get scrapped!
Related question - OP
you all are such an awesome support group! I think this summer I am going to try going bare and not care what people think. Bluejay, I’ll try a depilatory and see if that helps. Thanks for the tip!
my legs are all jacked up from crossfit/olympic lifting. my shins are constantly bruised and i have a couple scars. i wear skirts and dresses frequently with bare legs and no one has said anything. i’ve never noticed the condition of anyone else’s legs. i second bluejay’s comment about a depilatory as an alternative to get around the shaving issue, but generally…i wouldn’t sweat this at all.
My legs look just like yours by the sound of it, and I don’t think they are ugly. They’re just legs. You aren’t offending people!
I honestly would NEVER notice someone’s legs in that degree of detail.
I’m the same and live in Southern Europe (aka the Land of the Tanned). I don’t tan, ever, and am unwilling to use self-tanner (overly sensitive skin + a similarly pale family member used it once, kept streaks for years and had to have them removed by laser). Similar vein issue, too (thanks, Mom’s genes).
I have a hard time transitioning from tights to bare legs, and usually sweeten it by using nude hose a few time. The rest of the time … well, whatever. I’m neat, clean, polished and well-maintained, but this is something out of my league unless I put my health at risk, so people are politely asked to deal with it. If they really want to pester someone, maybe they could go to the person with the scaly, dirty heels and overgrown toenails instead ?
I actually had a local BF that wanted me to get sunburns so that I would look a little less pale afterward, because “you look so weird”. Huh.
Total TJ…even though this is a coffee break…but is anyone else on what I am calling (only in my own mind) “proposal watch”? I just want to be engaged. Now. I want the ring. I want to use the term fiance. I want his family to finally think we’re legit. This whole waiting process is turning me into a bratty 12-year old girl with latent princess fantasy issues. Ugh. We’ve talked about it so much…but I have ring requirements that require a while of saving, so we are in the saving for the ring stage right now and every other minute I think maybe I could just take a ring pop and have the whole thing done, lol.
You can be engaged without a ring you know!
You can also get a temporary ring that LOOKS the part of your dream ring as a stand-in, if you want to be engaged sooner.
That’s basically what DH and I did. We were broke and in law school when we got engaged, but we were moving out of state together after graduation, and it was important to me that we had a formal commitment before we did so. Unfortunately, all the rings I fell in love with were WAY out of our price range at that stage of our lives.
Instead, we got a ring in Moissanite that fit all my requirements for around $800. Now that we’re in the position to replace it with something “real” I find myself not caring about whether it’s a diamond or not.
I actually thought this was a brilliant idea…get the setting I want but put in a moissanite stone until we can afford a real one. But he’s not down…I have no idea why.
I humbly suggest that if you have “no idea why” your boyfriend believes something and you can’t ask him about it and get a good answer, you are not ready to be engaged to that man.
And the princess fantasy? Not very latent. In fact, not latent at all.
My actual, permanent engagement ring was about $800. Small diamond, and two colored side stones. I love it because it is a nice design, and represents my hubby and I as we were the day we got engaged: broke, and not together for anything but love.
Replacing that ring would mean I value status/money more than my hubby, and would be out of the question.
There is nothing wrong with buying a ring you can afford. You are taking your significant other as they are – not some idealized [rich or richer] version you fantasize about.
I had a conversation with my now-husband that went something like this. “You know how we’ve talked about a fall wedding. Well…we’re going to have to get engaged soonish if we’re going to get that done by the fall of xxxx.” Six-weeks later, I think, we were “officially” engaged. Sometimes you just have to get it out there and get a little fire burning under them.
And if the issue is the cost of the ring — well, then I agree with cc above.
I did something similar to move things along. My now-husband had no idea it takes a long time to plan a wedding. He assumed we would get engaged and have a wedding within a few months. Letting him know venues need to be booked up to a year in advance really helped give that final push.
Sweet as Soda Pop
This is my issue. We picked a date (a while ago) that is now less than a year away… He’s agreed with me on the date, but has. not. proposed. There are venues and photographers to be booked, man! I’m going to go with your line, TCFKAG, hopefully it will work!
Girl, if you’ve picked a date — you’re engaged, ring or not. I’d just tell him you’re going to book a venue by xxx date! Ha.
I was in your shoes a few years ago. It’s tough. The first time I thought it was going to happen and it didn’t…..whoa. I had to force myself to act normal. I totally get the desire to have a big ring, but in the end I wanted to be engaged to my DH more than I wanted to wait for that extra half carat. So if you’re getting really desperate to be engaged already, I’d recommend reevaluating whether you want a bigger/fancier ring.
ps – I completely agree with cc’s comment that you can be engaged without a ring, but I also get why you want one.
I don’t understand your angst. Why do you require a costly ring? Why can’t you propose?
Peer pressure/societal expectations? Neither of us are ones to really buck the system…and we enjoy the traditional elements of the whole hetero marriage thing.
Ok, but why the costly ring requirements? You can get a less costly ring, he can do the proposal, and then you will be engaged if what you want is a proposal right now with a ring. You can “upgrade” your engagement ring when you can afford it (not my cup of tea, but it’s an option) or you can plan for the big ring to be an anniversary gift or something like that.
Someone better versed in history than me might step in to correct me, but here’s something to think about: now, when we think about traditional proposals, we think about men saving up for a big ring. But traditionally when a couple was waiting to get engaged, the man was saving up not for the ring, but so he could afford a home and to support a family. Now that a couple (generally) supports their home together, at least at first, we’ve replaced this with saving for another big ticket item, but does that really make sense? Is this saving for the ring getting you closer to your goals of having a home and family together? If not, maybe it’s not the tradition you want to be emulating.
If you enjoy the traditional elements and want to bow to societal expectations and peer pressure, then you have to put up with all that old-fashioned BS, including letting the guy decide, waiting until you have enough money to buy the ring that will meet your traditional standards, etc. Sorry I am not sympathetic, but this to me sounds like complaining about features that are inherent to the item you are buying. And if you have really traditional expectations, I think you are going to find that (unless you come into a lot of money), planning a wedding may not be much fun, either.
I find it interesting that you want to be engaged but don’t mention at all wanting to be married (or being able to use the term groom instead of fiance). If you want to be legit, skip the big ring/long engagement and go to the courthouse.
Saving for the ring will turn into saving for a wedding which will turn into saving for a honeymoon. In other words – excuses. If you want to be engaged, be engaged. A ring doesn’t magically confer that status on you.
agree. Can be honest for a second? It sounds like you really want to be engaged for other people. To be able to say my fiaaaancaaay (seinfeld :) and show off your ring.
The dingo ate yoh babay!
Ah yes…the issue of course here is that we expect a long engagement in order to save for a wedding we want (without parental help) while not sacrificing much lifestyle along the way. I’m getting this feeling there’s a lot of saving for stuff in real life… ;)
As an old married fart, I agree: saving for things that are a lot more practical and enduring than a ceremony and reception (or even a bling ring). Okay, will step off my pedestal, but I have to say I am not very sympathetic.
Jen, not even an old married fart, and I agree with you. My husband and I got a modest ring (see above) and while we had initially planned on having a more traditional wedding, ended up getting married on a random Tuesday at the courthouse with only our immediate families and local friends in attendance.
We’ve been married for just over six months, and because we didn’t have to worry about blowing all our cash on the ring/wedding, we’ve been able to apply that savings to buying a beautiful home and a new car.
I thought that part of me would be upset about not having all the pictures, etc from a more traditional wedding. But I kind of like that my wedding dress was a simple printed wrap dress, and that our photos are simple and taken by our parents. For both monetary and stress reasons, I wouldn’t do anything different if I could.
SF Bay Associate
Yeah, ok. Please go buy the A Practical Wedding book. I think you will find it very helpful, and frankly I think it will do you both a lot of good.
Nice to see a fellow APW fan here!
I am single and I read A Practical Wedding sometimes, just because I like being reminded that there are sane women planning weddings in the world. Especially since my newsfeed has been blowing the F up with engagement photos and videos (like seriously? who makes an engagement video?)
Videos seemed to be pretty popular these days. I was at a wedding recently where the couple asked everyone to sit down and watch a video they had put together of their story, including, wait for it, footage of the ceremony we had been at 1.5 hours earlier. Because we don’t spend enough time watching TV.
But I disgress from OP’s question….
@ a. –Interesting. I went over to the website too, curious about this “pre-engaged” term, and I actually found it to be still kind of crazy. I’ll call it an Ellen mentality for lack of any other common reference: everything in one’s life pointing to the goal of becoming a wife. Granted I did not read anything about wedding planning; just the parts about proposals and so on.
The woman who wrote the initial article about why it’s great to be “pre-engaged” then came back later after getting engaged to write an article about how relieved she was, and how all the ring-less girlfriends out there should just hang on and be patient. I guess the term “pre-engaged” sort of gave it away, from the beginning, that it isn’t actually ok. I’ll go ahead and proclaim myself simply “not engaged.” Should I be even more embarrassed? :P
I met a woman at a conference whose fiance had given her a basic ring with the diamond shape and size that she wanted, with the full intention that she would have it reset in a setting that suited her better. I thought that was kind of a cool idea.
That might be better these days too, with the price of gold!
No kidding! I ended up with a platinum engagement setting instead of white gold because apparently it was only a $180 difference and my fiance had seen how battered a beloved white gold ring of mine was and was hoping the platinum would fare better. (Apparently they are both soft metals but platinum merely gets displaced when it scratches whereas white gold can actually be chipped away by a scratch. Who knew???)
in the words of miss manners–an engagement is an agreement to be married. that’s it. no ring is required. if you so desire a ring, get it later. even after you get married. having a ring does _not_ mean you’re “engaged”–agreeing to get married does.
What do you want more? Engagement status, a ring, marriage, a wedding? Think about it and talk with your partner (what does he want?). You can always get engaged (and even married), with a teeny tiny ring, and your princess fantasy ring can be your 1-year anniversary ring, or your wedding ring.
Ha! I have been married for 20 years and still do not have The Diamond! This has not affected our marriage at all and we are happy and still very much in love. Now we could afford to pay cash for a pretty big rock and husband says he wants to get me one, but I don’t really feel any need. I’d rather he buy me a moissanite and we all go on a European vacation.
It may be different for my daughter, now in her teens, because she may have expectations influenced by her peer group, but G-d help her if she someday comes and talks to me about “ring requirements”!
SF Bay Associate
A Practical Wedding calls this the “pre-engaged state” and has a number of posts about the conflicting feelings this stage can bring, especially in otherwise rational, mature, self-reliant women who suddenly find themselves behaving like magpies. I hope you will get helpful comments here, but definitely check out APW. This topic has been extensively and thoughtfully discussed over there.
FWIW, I had ring requirements (princess cut solitaire! 4-prong split shank platinum band! 1.5 carats!), and it was really, really stressing out my now-husband, and me, frankly, because what I wanted, while “normal” for my biglaw office, was still a LOT of money. After weeks of angst and guilt and anxiety and frustration on both sides, I finally tried on the ring I wanted… and I liked it fine, but was stunned to discover that I did not love it on my hand. It didn’t look right. After lots more looking and trying on diffrent styles with an open mind, I ended up with a very different setting, and much smaller diamonds, which cost less than half of what I was so sure that I wanted. Point is – are you sure that your ring requirements are actually what you want?
There’s also a lot of ego wrapped up in men and engagement rings, thanks in large part to DeBeers campaigns and what APW calls “the Diamond Olympics.” My DH wasn’t interested in moissanite because he didn’t want to lose face by everyone knowing he bought me a “fake” diamond ring. I thought that was pretty darn stupid, and tried to talk him out of it, but he couldn’t shake that feeling.
Second point, we all want things. We can’t always have what we want. Your engagement ring is no less special and your love for each other no less than if your ring was exaaaaaactly the ring you want in your ideal version of reality. As The Happiness Project says, step one is to identify the real problem. Is the problem that you really want XYZ ring and he can’t afford it? Well, how about you chip in. Is it the carat size you really want? Consider moissanite or an alternative stone. Worried about keeping up with the Jonses? What’s really going on? Figure it out and you may find the solution is waiting for you.
I agree with this, especially the Diamond Olympics part. My DH was not willing to budge on a “real” diamond. And, he initially wanted to spend around 20k-25k on a ring because he thought that the only type of ring that would make me happy was one within that price point, and some of our friends have spent that much on a ring.
Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved a giant diamond, but when I thought about the hard numbers…. I wanted more money in my bank account, and to start off on a better foot for our wedding savings (we too were paying for everything ourselves), etc. And, really, would a larger diamond really mean that my husband loved me more?
And I 100% agree about going to a brick-and-mortar store and trying on different settings and different sized diamonds. You don’t know what will look natural on your hand until you try stuff on. A friend has much smaller fingers than I do, and while my stone would look absurdly large on her hand, her center stone is literally half the size of mine and looks gorgeous and tasteful on her hand.
Buy second hand! There’s a website called I Do (or maybe Did) Now I Don’t, and they have certified diamonds from previous marriages for about half price.
I have a question that is completely earnest here–would you, or would anyone else, feel weird about using a ring from a previous marriage that ended in divorce, especially if it was from a stranger? Not trying to lead or offend at all, I am just interested.
For myself, I think anything other than a ring from a deceased family member might feel like bad luck, as much as I wish I could follow b23’s suggestion. And I don’t even consider myself particularly superstitious.
FWIW since I am getting engaged most likely but am not in any hurry, I would not have an issue as long as I didn’t know the people.
Oh, and if he gives you a cr*ppy necklace for the 6th year in a row don’t get upset and scream at him because he might have some sort of mysterious medical condition and die only to have the plucky intern find the necklace and the proposal and re-think her whole romantic thing and then end up right back in a love triangle (square now?) that we ALL thought was finally FINALLY over!!!
(Not that I was catching up on Grey’s episodes lately or anything…)
I understand wanting to be engaged, but I’m unsure why a big ring is a requirement. If having a big ring is the be all end all, then either wait until he/you can afford that kind of thing, or get engaged now with a ‘starter’ ring with the idea that it will be upgraded (although I personally find this idea kind of unromantic). If having the big ring when you get engaged is most important, than you have to wait to get engaged. Its a simple decision about which is more important to you.
I agree with others that you should try things on before deciding definitively what you want and keep in mind that there is more to a beautiful ring than size. My ring is very small by the standards of my profession (I think the center stone is a half carat…I’m not even sure) but it is nearly flawless, colorless and incredibly sparkly and it has a beautiful setting with tiny diamonds. My fiance chose it himself (with thoughts from me on what I like) and I honestly think its one of the most beautiful engagement rings I’ve ever seen. I also have extremely small fingers, so the small stone doesn’t look weird at all on me, but it might not look good on someone else.
I also have to agree with others that question why you are saving for a big ring & a big wedding and not the more important things in life & marriage. There will always be someone with a bigger engagement ring or a fancier this or that (for example, my fiance’s good friend just proposed to his girlfriend with a 6 carat ring –who could ever top that?), so if your hapiness comes from material things you are likely to be a pretty unhappy person.
Just wanted to say, don’t listen to the haters. Everyone is different and what makes them happy is different and at the end of the day, it’s between you and your boyfriend. Yes there are consequences to having ring requirements that mean you might have to wait, but if that’s what you want, own it. And if you decide you want a less expensive ring or no ring now rather than waiting, tell him.
People will judge your relationship/engagement/wedding choices no matter what you do (and largely judge just to justify their own large/small/nonexistent ring and/or wedding celebration-trust me, I do it all the time!). So do what is best for you and your guy and what will make you guys happy in the long run.
Clueless: do you want to be *married*? Do you want to call him your *husband*?
I’ve got to say, the idea of waiting a long time to get engaged due to the costs of the ring, knowing it will be a long engagement due to the costs of the wedding, feels like something’s getting lost along the way. And the latent princess fantasy piece really made me trip up. If you can’t afford a big diamond and a fancy wedding, then get a smaller diamond and have a smaller wedding. But the whole point is to be *married,* spending your lives together. There’s always going to be something to save up for, but your life is now, today.
My husband and I got engaged when I was a 2L and he was doing a post-grad internship that paid very, very little. I did want a diamond engagement ring, so we got a smaller, under 1/2 carat ring. Later, once I was in BigLaw and we could afford it, we upgraded it to a larger stone. We had a long engagement of 16 months — for me to finish law school and take the bar, then move to DC (didn’t want to get married but not live together). And honestly, by the end of that engagement, which had a very clearly defined period with a clear reason, we were just plain ready to be married and move on with the rest of our lives.
“ring requirements”? Seriously?
Do you want to be married, or do you want your princess fantasy? Because it sounds like the latter.
I didn’t have an engagement ring – we didn’t have the money and the idea of saving for it for awhile never crossed our minds. Ten years later DH gave me a beautiful ring.
I’m sorry, but your post comes across like something a bratty 12yo girl would write. Seriously.
I posted this morning, but was stuck in moderation for a long time, so I think not many people saw it.
Does anyone know of an app that is a medical dictionary that an educated lay person can understand? It doesn’t have to be free, but I don’t want to pay more than about $50.
Taber’s medical distionary has an app for about $50.
Have you checked out the Mayo Clinic’s website? It’s free.
It’s harder to access that when I don’t have a computer in front of me. I want something that is very easily portable. I end up reading binders of docs when I’m waiting for the bus (or whatever) then making a million notes about words I don’t understand. By the time I get to a computer to look them up, I have to go back and figure out the context of the words again. Otherwise, wikipedia and mayo clinic are my friend!
Has anyone here been watching “Girls”? Anyone have any thoughts? I figure it’s not quite our demographic, but pretty close. Some of us are in our early 20s and some of us were recently there.
There was a discussion about it last week (last monday’s post)
I’m the age group but not a fan.
I have! A couple places did hit a bit too close to home, “Mom and Dad, you really should just give me what I’m asking for. You’re really lucky. I could be a drug dealer. You could have a unwed pregnant mother for a daughter. Instead you have me and I am just asking for this liiiiiiiiiiitle thing. Please?” Other places were substantially removed from my experience but I felt like I did know people like that. I share the concerns expressed by a lot of reviewers that it is very, very, very whitewashed and not necessarily all that realistic for New York City.
Overall though, I like it, I’m going to keep watching it for sure.
I watched the first episode. I wanted to like it, and it got such great reviews but… are we supposed to hate all of the characters? Because so far, I do!
Possibly I’m just “old” and grumpy (I’m kidding — in my 30s — you kids get off my lawn!) but I think that they are all behaving like irresponsible, immature brats. Maybe that’s the point, but I kind of don’t get it.
I DVR’d the second episode, so I’m going to give it a little bit more time. Maybe the critics see something that I haven’t yet?
I’m 23 and I want them all to get off my lawn. I’ll probably watch the second episode, but my hopes are not high.
Watched the first episode OnDemand and only got through the first 15 minutes, while constantly rolling my eyes. Won’t be making a point of watching future episodes.
I much prefer, “How To Make It in America”. Not only does it feature the cuteness that is Bryan Greenberg, but the cast is somewhat diverse and those kids are actually hustling to get where they want to be.
I like it a lot so far. It hits fairly close to home for me, since even though that hasn’t been my reality in the ~2 years since I graduated, it has been, more or less, for a lot of my friends in New York. I also come from a similar background from the author — not in terms of the whole New York upper middle class child-of-artist scene, but in terms of having had an artsy major at a liberal arts college with a large contingent of New Yorkers. I recognize that it’s portraying a fairly small slice of society, but it’s my slice, so hey.
I should say that I also don’t find the individual characters very likeable, but I’m not sure you’re supposed to. I do sometimes find them sympathetic (as in the main characters’ relationships with their boyfriends, or not-so-boyfriend in Hannah’s case, and the totally irrational fear of STDs), and other times not so much (as in Hannah asking for $1100 per month for two more years — bahaha. My reaction was totally with the mother there). Mostly I see it as a commentary — sometimes gentle, sometimes more acerbic — on how early 20 somethings generally lack for money and self-awareness and make a ton of mistakes. It fills a niche for me.
If there was one thing I could change, it would be the whitewashing, as mentioned above.
I agree. I don’t have HBO (although with this and Veep I am tempted), but I watched the first episode online, and I liked it. I am also biased in that I really like what’s-her-name, the writer/main character; I read an interesting article about her in the New Yorker I think last year, and I just got the sense that she was really thoughtful and talented.
That was me! I’m late to this but…I watched last nights episode too. I agree it hit a little close to home again, but at the same time I thought parts of it were a little absurd, even thougjh it was an intentional absurdity. The not boyfriend reaaaaally gets on my nerves. We all make poor decisions in life, however, I seriously hope the STD issue will make her see the light. In that way I agree that the characters aren’t necessarily likable, but at the same time I do already care what happens to them (see wanting Hannah to get a clue with the boy). Im not sure how I feel about the way the ab*rtion issue was dealt with. Getting into the clinic is good, but it would also be nice to have a real conversation about it on tv.
With regards to the whitewashing issue, I am of at least 2 minds about it. First, it’s only been 2 episodes. We have no idea if it is intentional and there will be an awakening over this issue. Second, I know a lot of people who went to liberal arts colleges who all have friends who are just like them. White, middle class, college educated, exposed so many cultures and people. But they still are pretty much only friends with people like them. I think part of the problem is that the show was billed as a universal show. It hits me pretty square on the head demographically, but I can see how it doesn’t speak to everyone like it was said to. I do believe that the representation of minorities in tv is important and I think they could get some non stereotypical guests, but overall I won’t condemn it for its treatment of race yet. There’s more, I just can’t figure out what it is yet.
I don’t know though. There should at least be model minorities around them, even if they aren’t interacting with traditionally marginalized groups regularly. I (disclosure – member of a model minority group) went to a small private LAC with a ton of kids coming from prep schools and had primarily white friends, but also Asian, Indian, Arab, etc. My sister went to an expensive university in the city and is currently living with a group of kids including a white girl from the south, a black girl from the midwest, Italian girl from Jersey, etc, all partially or completely funded by their parents 1-2 years post grad) — where are these kids? Privileged, middle class, college educated kids absolutely can be minorities and often assimilate into primarily white groups of friends. These kids exist in the lives of these girls, even if they don’t notice it but girls is not representing this (or really any other) minority group.
I understand the girls in “Girls” aren’t going to be hanging out with too many kids from the projects. But they ARE in an environment where there are minorities. Indeed, at their elite LACs, there were probably plenty, especially model minorities, and in New York it would be even harder to self isolate – but this is as yet entirely ignored. But we’re only two episodes in so I’m hoping things change.
Now this is really late. I’m not saying I agree with the casting or writing decisions they made, but it’s not a representation of Lena Dunham’s life, or most people’s, but Hannah’s life. I definitely agree that there needs to be more representation of women of color and minorities on tv and think that it is something that needs to be addressed in general, but there is a lot of space for it on this show in particular. But, on the other hand, unfortunately, it isn’t that foreign to a lot of the people I know (1-3 years out of undergrad) to only hang out with people exactly like them. I can’t help but hope that with the amount of self reflection that the show does, this will really come up and be explored.
DH and I are starting a one month fitness/weight loss challenge and I’d like a little input on how to make it “fair”. I could stand to lose about ten pounds. DH could stand to lose about twenty. Does it make sense to make a goal and whoever gets closest to it wins? Or does it make sense to do a percentage of body weight? I honestly don’t care what I weigh (or what he weighs for that matter) but we really ought to be in better shape considering our age. Thoughts?
Percentage is the only fair way. And maybe you get a couple extra b/c let’s face it, it is easier for men to lose than women, and easier when you have more to lose.
You could each set a personal weight goal (maybe -8 for you and -15 for him) AND a personal fitness goal (like 5 pushups or run a mile under 13min).
Weight isn’t the only measure of health and aiming for physical fitness sounds more like what you want. (and it’s smarter!)
My DH and I love these challenges. We’ve found that % body weight is the best and realistically, you can’t get there without exercising so we don’t find a need to set exercise-related goals. Friends of ours do dress sizes… it just depends on your goals.
However, for the first time, our challenge is joint. Instead of competing with ea other, we took something very fun away from both of us and until we both reach our goals, we can’t add it back into our lives. I had no idea the positive impact it would have on us. We are in month 3 and are almost there (our goals this time around were extremely lofty and we are about 1 month ahead of schedule). We’ve kept each other accountable and instead of secretly hoping the other person doesn’t reach it as fast, you hope the other person does and that you aren’t the reason you can’t add the fun thing back into your lives.
2 other couples have started the same challenge and it’s done wonders.
I like the idea of a joint effort, and in reality, this sort of is. I don’t want to see him “lose” the challenge, but our personalities and our schedules are probably better suited for going head to head. Haha. :)
I like the idea of setting a goal and reaching it. I really want this first month to kick start us into what could turn into making a loftier goal to reach instead of putting a time limit on it.
Did you both have the same body weight % for your individual goal or was it different due to gender?
You may not see this post but…
We are using the same % but did a check to make sure the weight that represented worked for both of us and was healthy. If you can’t find the same % then just each select what % works best for each of you. It’s okay to have different goals since you are, after all, entirely different bodies. Just make sure both goals are equally as challenging and equally as attainable.
Haven’t read the other responses but do percentage of body fat lost, not weight! Gaining muscle is good.
Definitely percentage — set a goal and whoever gets closest to losing x% wins!
tika55 (kid comment)
Today is my daughter’s first day at day care for a half day. So, so hard. I dropped her off at 12:15 or so, had a quick chat with the teacher, and dashed out before I started crying. Fortunately I had a meeting at 1 so I couldn’t wallow for too long. I work from home, so only had to pull myself together enough to sound ok over the phone. It’s been a very busy afternoon, so I have only missed her when I stopped to pump. I just keep reminding myself that I’ll be setting a great example for her of being an overachieving chick when she is old enough to notice! Although I am seriously considering quitting day care and finding a nanny. But I guess I should give it more than a day!
For what it’s worth:
Watching my overachieving mom continue to work at big banks and major accounting firms through my childhood (starting 12 weeks after I was born with daycare under the World Trade Center) and supplementing childcare with a large mix of things including daycare, nannies, live in au pairs and flex times has hugely inspired me to where I am today. It also made me both independent and self sufficient. I never “forgot” who my mother was, nor was I ever anything but admiring of her dedication to her career.
Even more than that, for the short periods that she didn’t work when I was growing up, I could see how crazy it was making her and how much she missed it. I wouldn’t have wanted her to give that up for us (3 kids) and I’m so proud of everything she’s achieved and hope very much to be a similar kind of mom and career woman.
tika55 (kid comment)
I know it’s probably too late for you to see this, but thank you! It’s great to know that your mom did this right and that you admire her. It’s very reassuring!
Hugs. It does get easier.
I wont say it gets easier because it is still incredibly hard for me over a year after starting daycare. But you will all survive! My child is better for it… there would be a whole lotta TV watching in his life if he were home with me all day. They do all kinds of fun stuff at daycare and learn so much!
I work at home and I say to give daycare another chance. They know that you’re home and somehow always manage to yell or something right when you’re on a conference call when home :). Plus, it’s easier for you to focus with the kids away and she will get socialized.
I’m new to the workings of LinkedIn. Do any of you post articles you’ve written in industry trades or include the titles in your bio? I’m really proud of something I just wrote that appeared in a national magazine. But I also don’t want to come across looking douchey.
Include it. I have a number of inventors who post the patent applications I wrote on their linkedin pages. If they can do that, you can post something you actually wrote yourself.
You can add a section for publications. I’d add that and put it there. Congrats on your article getting published!
I say put it up. You can just put the titles if you want, or a short description. I don’t think either option is douchey.
Chiming in late on this thread simply to say that today has been a fabulous day! Thank you to all the kind people who have smiled and said hello to me in the halls at work (I will always make a point to do the same as it totally brightens my day when someone does it to me).
A to Z
Does anyone know if the earings featured would be hypoalergenic or cause the itchies?
Rose gold has copper in it (to give it that color), and probably has a few other impurities in it.
OK ladies, it it just me, or has Cap Hill Style become a parody of itself?
Unless this post is some sort of joke I don’t get… I just, wow.
Maybe a little bit fluffier than usual?
I like how the page she linked to on the Knot for extra help says that the only acceptable colors for women to wear to weddings are dark neutrals like gray, brown, and black. Ooops…everyone I know has been doing it wrong.
It’s funny that you post this Bluejay, because I was on Cap Hill Style last night checking out the archives after an extended absence. I really want to like it and will occasionally add it to my Google Reader, only to take it off a couple of weeks later. She obviously has good style, but there’s something about the tone that’s not quite right (and no, its not snark, that I can appreciate).
I admire Belle’s hard work and many of the styles profiled and read it almost daily. I don’t care for overuse of the words “lovely” and “ladies”, or the materialism (i.e., there’s a product for every problem, which can annoy me with this site’s commentariat as well). Obviously the strengths outweigh the weaknesses or I wouldn’t be a loyal reader!
The overuse of the word “lovely” on this blog also drives me crazy – but it doesn’t seem to be stopping me from reading it!
Me too! But it just seems to be one of Kat’s favorite words – I’m sure I have catchphrases that annoy people too. I never feel like Kat’s looking down her nose at me, and I’d love to have a drink with her.
She just seems to really look down her nose at people. Not snark, but snootiness. She seems very prim and sheltered.
I used to enjoy her site, but it really reads like self-parody these days. I think she lost me with the post about the black water stuff for “only” $55 per case.
I agree with this.
Firstly, the tone is becoming less and less professional. She gets very defensive and it’s unpleasant much of the time.
Secondly, her “rules” make no sense! In the comments, she is supporting a bride who is going to demand that no one wear black at her wedding. That is just not good manners. It’s the inconsistency of the snobbery which bothers me. She doesn’t follow established etiquette rules but then is a snob about instances of breaking etiquette which bother HER
Lastly, she is an avowed republican and her tone is always a little too gleeful to me when saying negative things about Michelle Obama/other democratic women. There was a time I stopped reading when she just wouldn’t shut up about how unladylike MO was. It was pretty unpleasant.
Really? I always thought there were hints she was a democrat. She talks about “reproductive rights”, among other things. I haven’t read her blog for that long so I didn’t see her posts on MO.
Oh, but I totally agree with the points in your first paragraph. Inconsistent snobbery indeed.
This is the first post I have read of hers and I have to say I agree with the comments expressed above. I don’t know if it’s snark, and I don’t know if it’s snootiness. But every single rule or suggestion she makes seems to be written in such a manner which makes me think she stands in a corner at weddings disdainfully watching women take off their high heels and planning a blog post about it in her head with the hopes that these women will read it and feel bad.
Seriously, though, heels come off at weddings so the guests can have a good time and dance. So do neckties and suit jackets, last I checked. What’s the big deal?