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Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Ellen
Fooey on these! Alan wears these! Fooey! Every time I see these I think of him! FOOEY!
Bonnie
You scared me for a second with this rec. I got my husband a similar pair of Cole Haan Airs and he loves them: http://www.colehaan.com/colehaan/catalog/product.jsp?catId=100&productId=357084&productGroup=357086
They’re on sale for the same price as the Borns.
Research, Not Law
LOL, I was surprised when it popped up on my reader, too!
My husband would love these! His office is a professional-in-jeans kind of place, which is an odd style to work. Shoes always seem too formal or not formal enough. These would be perfect.
Anonymous
My husband is in a similar style office and lives in these shoes.
TackyMum
My ex-husband would have called these brothel-creepers. He would know.
MelD
I love Borns.
Anyone have The Skirt in Blue Depths? I’m interested in a navy skirt, but can’t really tell whether it’s a navy or closer to a royal blue. It looks navy on my work computer but brighter on my home computer.
Bunkster
I’ve been eyeing that one, too. I’m hoping it goes on sale in a couple of months.
s in Chicago
HAven’t seen it in that color yet. But PSA: The Skirt in limited colors and sizes was online on the Rack’s site this morning.
Anonymous
I bought my dad a pair of shoes from New Balance’s Dunham collection. He LOVES them; says they’re comfortable and they go well with his jeans. No wonder–they’re twice the price of his New Balance sneakers.
http://www.zappos.com/dunham-prescott-brown-nu-buck
Anonymous
And I bought my boyfriend a pair each of brown tennis shoes from Born and Patagonia (both from Nordstrom, in case they didn’t fit or were uncomfortable and he needed to return/exchange). He loves them both.
Kelly
Haha so he kept both?
Anonymous
I was hoping at least one of them worked out, but he liked both and kept both. :) But he’s so cute about the shoes/apparel I give him; gets a little stressed when something’s misplaced and he can’t find it.
mamabear
My husband wears similar shoes, though I think his first pair in a similar style were Fluevogs.
OK, off topic. On my way to work yesterday I saw a woman wearing a leggings outfit which she had tried to formal up with a bow blouse. That’s right, just a silky bow blouse along with leggings as pants.
Also, her leggings were so sheer they were halfway see-through in the sunlight, so they were as much skin-colored as they were black.
Clearly not a corporette!
a.
While I would never wear leggings with a silky bow blouse (!!), I would like to admit something here: I am a corporette, and I wear leggings in public. Not to work, obviously, but around. So rebellious.
Always a NYer
But the real question is how you wear them, with a regular shirt or something longer?
a.
Often a regular shirt. Because like I said, I’m rebellious ;)
aeb
I confess, I have been known to run errands (not work!) wearing black running tights with hip-length shirts.
Anon
I wear leggings with normal length shirts in my off time. Why not? I work hard for my legs to be toned. And leggings are comfortable.
AnonInfinity
Leggings are great! I think everyone agrees that they’re good to wear casually, just not as actual pants (i.e., you should cover your entire backside).
eaopm3
I will admit it, too. I wear leggings on the weekends if I need to go to the grocery store, or even to the mall or the movies or something casual. Sometimes the shirt I wear covers my tush. Sometimes it doesn’t. I know they aren’t see-through, so I don’t see the big deal.
NOLA
That’ outfit just sounds weird. I did wear denim leggings today with my favorite (long) Darren Sproles t-shirt, but I was just grocery shopping! The only problem is that it is a fairly thin t-shirt and the temperature dropped 15 degrees while I was out!
Now I’m just sitting in my kitchen, reading Corporette while my SIL’s caramel cracktastic Chex mix is in the oven. Yum. Must bring some to a party so I don’t eat the entire thing…
mamabear
If it changes anyone’s opinion about the appropriateness of the leggings, I’ll mention that the woman was clearly older than me. And I’m 46.
Anon
Sorry, but when it comes to leggings, I defer to the immortal words of Cereal Killer in “Hackers” – “Spandex: it’s a privilege, not a right.”
zora
what a completely brilliant reference… i’m really impressed ;o)
IV
I don’t know, dude. I am 28 right now, but fully intend to not stop age from doing or wearing anything I want.
Wearing it to work is one thing. But in her free time? Awesome for her, I think.
IV
… fully intend to not let age stop me … that is. Sorry!
Backgrounder
I agree you will have to pry my Uggs and leggings out of my cold, dead, 28-year-old hands.
SF Bay Associate
One of the assistants in my building today is wearing flat knee boots, leggings, and a t-shirt and furry vest, both of which stop at around her waist, so her legging’d behind is not covered by any kind of tunic or something. She’s cute, she’s got a lovely figure, but leggings are not pants, my dear.
IV
I wear leggings with a to-the-waist shirt all the time, in my free time. In law school, it was often a preferred studying outfit (in a coffeehouse or library, so, outside the house, yes) yielding itself to many productive study sessions.
I have a close friend who loves the “leggings are not pants” saying. As I like to tell her, “of course they’re not pants. They’re leggings. That *doesn’t mean* one can’t wear them with a regular, to-the-waist shirt. But, ya, they’re *not pants.*” :)
I am also going to disagree that “spandex is a privilege.” I think that, in our free time, we should all wear what we want, regardless of those silly little beauty standards imposed on us by our society. (Well, within the general bounds of cleanliness, decency, etc., of course.)
AnonInfinity
I think my problem with wearing leggings as pants is that they are thin enough that an observer can see the entire underwear outline (or determine that the legginged person is not wearing underwear) and that the probability of wedgies or camel toe is very high.
Anon
Other than denim, underwear lines are shockingly visible. In fact, if you think they aren’t, you’re probably sporting some VPL right now.
So, what is your real problem with leggings since I doubt you’d say “I have a problem with wool dress pants because you can see VPL through them”
AnonInfinity
The VPL seen through wool dress pants is drastically different from lines you can see through bottoms that are designed to be relatively thin*, unlined, and skin tight.
* I know that some leggings are thicker than others, but I’ve never seen a pair that’s designed to be as thick as most slacks.
anon
I think you just don’t like tight clothes. Which is fine. Your call. But VPL is VPL. Trying to make some VPL sound ok while saying other VPL is a huge problem just doesn’t make sense.
AnonInfinity
Objectively, my leggings show the entire outline of my underwear, as in you can see the top band, the legs, sometimes the crotch seams. I’m not sure what slacks you wear, but mine do not show all that.
As another poster below pointed out, leggings are so tight that they even cling to cellulite. It’s not tight clothes I don’t like, it’s that I think it’s unflattering to see camel toe, cellulite, and whatever else.
aeb
I don’t know…spandex seems like something best left to those who can pull it off. While it is your free time, it also the general public’s time. They deserve a modicum of respect too and shouldn’t have to be forced to view anything and everything.
See also short shorts/cutoffs, string bikinis, tube tops, mini skirts.
But see workout wear worn while working out (kudos to anyone getting out there and making an effort to improve health – wear what you need to to get out the door and feel good/comfortable)
Anonymous
“While it is your free time, it also the general public’s time. They deserve a modicum of respect too and shouldn’t have to be forced to view anything and everything.”
This is totally a cop-out. If one is doing one’s own thang on one’s own time, one doesn’t need to really be concerned with what others might not want to look at. Turn your head and look at something else if you don’t like it.
IV
Not being slender per our society’s preferred standards does not mean “anything and everything.” :( Respect hasn’t a thing to do with this. :(
Let’s free ourselves, and, eventually, maybe the society will change for the better, at least a little.
Signed:
Formerly Idealistic Lawyer
aeb
I think it’s a bit of a jump to go from “spandex is a privilege” to society’s preferred standards and a need to change society for the better. I think of spandex as something that, in general, should be worn in moderation for everyone, of all shapes. I’m not saying that only the thinnest of the thin can wear it. Not at all. But I do think it’s a tough fabric to wear well and better suited to some bodies than others.
Of course, it’s a free country and if someone wants to wear it because they like it, that is their choice and no one is going to stop them. I didn’t mean my statement that seriously – and I can see that my stab at humor was a bit offensive.
The point I was trying to make, and in retrospect should have started a new paragraph, with “While,” is that when you get dressed and go out in public, wearing spandex or otherwise, I don’t think it’s just about you at that point. I think we as society should consider that other people will have to see us. I don’t like the argument that just because it’s my free time, I can wear whatever I want (“anything and everything”. Because my free time is also other people’s free time, and I should consider how my choices affect them. Clearly, there are those who disagree with this.
My apologies for coming off as intolerant.
ATC
Totally agree. And I also never have VPL; lace trimmed boy shorts are the answer. They don’t cut in anywhere and are invisible under everything, except leggings. But that’s because leggings show EVERYTHING. I’ve seen cellulite through leggings numerous times – no lump or dimple gets to hide in leggings.
Accountress
If every person took into consideration how every other person viewed what they looked like when they step outside their home, no one would ever leave their home.
I am going to offend someone when I leave my home, no matter what I look like. It could be my Mickey Mouse off-the-shoulder shirt that sets someone off (“Disney is taking over the world blahblahblah”), it could be my tartan purse, it could be my size 22 self poured into a strapless bodycon dress going to get my groove on at the club, it could be anything. I couldn’t avoid being something someone, somewhere, doesn’t want to look at if I tried.
So I don’t try. If someone doesn’t like what I look like, they can look a different direction. Our heads can turn for a reason.
Anonymous
Last weekend, I put on a t-shirt and a pair of tight sweat shorts to go the gym. I called my mother to tell her that I was stopping by to drop something off and she asked me to take her to the store. Sorry, world, but I took my elderly mother to the store and exposed by fat ass.
mamabear
These debates always seem to devolve into, does she have the right to wear leggings? Well, of course she does. Does she have the right to wear them to work? Depends on her workplace dress code.
But I think of Corporette as asking and answering, what is appropriate to wear? What is flattering to wear? What will help you be respected and get ahead in the workplace?
I would say leggings are not on that list.
anon
I used to visit this site all the time and I see from this thread why I’ve stopped. Everyone comes off as so judgmental and b*tchy about every other woman out there.
Geez. Put some leggings on and go for a run and lighten up. Yes, you should dress in a way that impresses in the office, but this whole thread is about whether the fabric of your pants is thick enough so that you can wear a shirt that doesn’t double as a dress? Sometimes women are so freaking mean to each other its crazy to me.
Sydney Bristow
I think with everywhere, you take the good with the bad. Yes these types of threads and judgment come up. In one way that sucks, but in other ways it can be nice to see how others might perceive you. It is crazy though how mean women can be to each other, but just like any group of people there will always be people who are mean to each other for no reason.
That said, this site also has a great community of people. All you have to do is scroll down to see one poster’s update on her major health scare who so many here were able to identify with and offer their support, another post celebrating someone’s new job, yet another celebrating the successes of the day, and a thread full of opinions and suggestions on how to deal with not being suffocated by huge amounts of debt.
Anon
That’s what I used to think…but then see the next post from Miriam…
I’m pretty sick of women being mean to each other. Its all well and good when you rally around someone who is sick, but then you probably would sit and think “that person looks like crap” if you saw them on a bus in a sweatpants because they felt so crappy they didn’t want to put on anything fancier.
I think I’m done with Corporette for awhile. Its too mean.
Miriam
I don’t need to see that much of someone when I am just around town or at school. I’m sure most people (aside from men who enjoy the view) feel the same way. If you are going to subject us to seeing your rear end in leggings that are practically translucent, then you will be judged for that. You are basically saying I do not care about other people’s comfort and I’m going to wear whatever is comfortable even though something like yoga pants are just as comfortable and provide full coverage. I don’t care at all about VPL, but I should not be able to see skin showing through!
I hate shooties
I went to a party last week and saw a woman wearing black leggings, black flowy waist-length shirt, and black peep-toe shooties with feathers around the ankles. Not a good look
Sydney Bristow
I’m going to call anything sheer enough to either see skin or underwear color/pattern tights. I think most people can agree that tights are not pants. I’m firmly in the leggings are not pants camp as well (although my 10-year old self thought I rocked them in the 90s) but there is definitely disagreement about that “rule.”
phillygirlruns
fluevogs! i had a fantastic pair of mary jane fluevog angels when i was in college. i wish i knew what happened to them.
AnonInfinity
Thoughts on holiday cards? I enjoy writing them, so I send about 60 or so each year to family and friends. I don’t have kids, so I do a card like you buy at a store instead of a photo card. Is that weird? It seems like almost everyone does a photo card now-a-days.
I also really enjoy reading the year-in-review letters that folks send (though my husband and I don’t do one). Am I the only one?
I’ve already sent mine out, so I’m not trying to decide… just curious about what other overachieving chicks do/think.
CW
It’s just myself, my husband and our dog, and I usually do a photo card with pictures of our year (travel, wedding, etc.) and a photo or two of our dog. I love photo cards – I love seeing people’s adventures through the year, or how big their kids have gotten (or pets!). I don’t write the year-in-review letters (and I don’t think I’ve received one in a really long time), but I really like reading them as well!
nona
I (or rather my parents) see both. I know my mom’s done a photo letter before – pictures of stuff that happened thru the year, with little captions. My uncle (prof of philosophy) writes the best Christmas letters – sometimes a year in review, sometimes a sample philosophy exam (don’t ask). My mom’s probably just send out a photo card, a pic of the family from my brother’s wedding this summer, since that was kind of the big event.
anon
I and now we send out actual cards, with actual writing in them (mine, since I can’t get DH to write xmas cards). Not fans of photo cards for ourselves, although they are cute and all that and it’s nice to see how people’s kids are growing up or what trips they took.
It does bother me somewhat when these cards have literally no personalization on them whatsoever. People used to scribble “Merry Christmas Anon! See you in 2011!” on the back or something, but now, nothing. I get it – people are busy – but the combination of en-masse, pre-printed envelopes, address labels, cards, and sentiments make them feel a bit impersonal. Oh well.
I love the year-in-review newsletters though.
CW
I do try to write a brief handwritten (albeit generic) personal message on the back – I can’t imagine just sending out a non-personalized card, but I think literally every single card we received this year has no personal message. It is a little sad.
AnonInfinity
I agree — even just “Merry Christmas!” is nice.
mamabear
I only wrote personalized messages to people I hadn’t seen in person or connected with through email or facebook sometime during the year. This corporette mama is busy!
AnonInfinity
Good point. With my good friends that I talk to very regularly, I had trouble coming up with anything to really write bc they know what’s going on in my life.
AIMS
Honestly, I think if you can be bothered to send a card, you can be bothered to write “Happy Holidays! Love, X.”
I would rather get no card than a card/photo card that says nothing on it. It makes it feel like something from my bank or my ob/gyn.
mamabear
OK AIMS, I will take you off my holiday card list.
I am personally delighted to get photos of everyone’s kids every year. I save them from year to year so I can see how everyone’s growing up. For those without kids who send me photos of their vacation or their dog or their new house, I’m equally delighted. I just love getting the cards. I’m not going to spend a lot of time judging the sender.
Always a NYer
I agree with AIMS. If you have the time to send a card of any sort, please personalize it. We all have busy lives but can make the time if we really want to. The problem is that not everyone sees why they should.
ADB_BWG
I agree – in part. If you send a photo card, it is (somewhat) personalized. It’s about you / your family / your life. I’m more likely to give a pass on an un-personalized card like this.
But … a store-bought generic card, particularly one with my name on a printed address label and your name (only signed, or worse yet, pre-printed), comes across as “check off the box.” Write my name in the card. Write a brief message. Otherwise, it’s like the hundreds of other cards my car dealership sent out.
Anon 3L
I used to feel the same way, but now that I am so pressed for time, writing a personalized message to my recipients is low on my list of priorities. I still haven’t finished Christmas shopping, and I’m technically still writing a paper (save for my Corporette breaks)! It’s not that I don’t care about the people, but honestly, worrying about how card recipients feel when I’ve made an effort to spread cheer is not my problem. Be glad you’re receiving cards from harried people who barely have it together this time of year. Jeesh.
Annie
I get several sets of boxed nice cards and send them out like you do.
Research, Not Law
We didn’t do photo cards until having kids. And still, every year I consider going back to regular cards and just sticking a pic inside. I simply prefer the regular cards, but am always snookered in by the cute designs online.
I do write a note on every photo card; I consider it a critical part of the process. I do suspect that photo cards have gotten so popular simply because people feel like they can get by without a note. Irks me. Although, I admit that I’ve gone to a printed note with a short handwritten “best wishes in the new year” type of ending and signed name since having kids.
I *love* reading newsletters. I don’t know how they’ve gotten a bad name. I enjoy them more than the cards. We include a short summary of our year (~3-5 sentences). We do it regularly now with kids; I only did it if there was some news to share before then.
Sydney Bristow
I don’t personally send out holiday cards, but my parents do. They do a photo card and a year-in-review letter. I’m not sure what the photo card will look like this year though because I wasn’t in the state to take the family shot so I sent my dad an individual one. Maybe they’ll photoshop me in instead of using 1 family photo and 1 just of me… anyway. I love reading the year in review letters I get from people. I think I mentioned it here before, but I have a large immediate family and my dad sometimes gets tired of writing the letter every year so he has resorted to bullet points on all our activities. It looks a little ridiculous. I think my stepmom adds a personal handwritten section on the letter for our close friends and family.
Good for you for having it together enough to send out cards. I always think I want to and then just never can seem to get around to it.
PT Lawyer
We do cards, but we only did photo cards since having kids. Regular holiday cards before kids but married. Don’t remember what I did when I was single.
The thing with year-in-review letters is, you need to hit the high AND the low points of the year. The overly braggy, overachiever, exotic vacations, Junior got into Ivy early acceptance, new house/car/whatever ones…. yikes. Those give the year-in-review letters a bad name.
KK
Yeah I agree- it’s the bragging year-in-review letters that give them a bad name. That said, I haven’t gotten any like that in a while. I sent cards this year, with a wedding photo (didn’t get photos in time to send any w/ the thank you cards) tucked inside and a short handwritten happy holidays & signature. I wasn’t going to send any initially, but I got so excited when I received the first few from other people. I figured that since I like getting them so much, I should probably send some.
It’s so disappointing when people with kids don’t include pics in the card. Come on people, I want to see the cute babies!
Anonymous
I get photo and regular cards and I love both!
LMo
Threadjack re: student loans.
How do you mentally deal with your law school debt? I literally have paid over thirty grand this year, which is over half of what I took home, and the amount is just finally starting to move down in what feels like microscopic increments. I can’t pay as much as I would like (not BigLaw), and I won’t be able to pay as much as I did this year going forward because I had to move and take a lower paying but better job. The knowledge that I am this far in debt feels like a physical weight around my neck. I had a breaking point this morning where I looked at my bonus check (or half of my bonus check, since Uncle Sam got a bonus too), and almost started crying. I feel like I will never pay it off.
Any tips for ignoring/living with this? I am usually a happy, active person but I feel like it is suffocating me.
Anon
I do not make a high salary, so I cannot afford to pay them down quickly. So I have set up a payment plan that I can live with, and have just accepted that it is part of my financial life, similar to my mortgage. I need a house, and I needed the education. I have to pay for both–for a LONG time! Maybe someday I will be able to pay them off quicker–but for now I have accepted it. It’s like the stages of grief, haha!
CW
I agree with what the above-Anon said. I get super stressed about the amount of law school debt that I have, but I have tried to change my perspective on the debt to just be a bill that I have to pay every month. Hopefully one day I will be in a position to throw more money at it and make it go away faster, but to cope on a day-to-day basis, it’s just a bill.
LMo
Do you both put it on auto-pay, or what? I think I need to stop looking at it so much and take it off of my Mint account. Every time I log in and see my negative triple digit net worth, I feel like such a loser. <— I realize that is slightly irrational.
CW
I know what you mean about Mint. I consolidated my federal loans, so I have one large Direct Loans auto-debit from my account every month (get .25% off my interest rate by doing so). I also have private and non-federal loans that I auto-pay every month. I know that the payments will generally not change, so I feel comfortable doing that (and haven’t missed a payment).
You should pat yourself on the back for paying off $30k in one year – it’s really impressive, and I haven’t paid off nearly that much!
LMo
Thank you! I lived with family for free for the first year after I passed the bar, otherwise there is no way I could have made that 30k happen.
JessC
I think if you focus on the balance too much, it will scare the living sh*t out of you (and would me). I have mine set on auto-debit and it acutally draws from an account that’s entirely separate from my checking account. I have a completely separate checking account which for every paycheck $x amount is dumped in to have enough to cover all my regular bills for the month – this way I never have to worry about not having budgeted correctly! I guess, in some way, never actually seeing the amount that’s coming out helps alot.
I know some may disagree with me in this respect – but I look at my student loan debt as a long term investment. Right now I make a pretty good living (not Big Law) and long-term I have a higher earning potential than do a number of my friends with only bachelors degrees. I’m 27 years old and I make more money than my dad. And I like my job.
Right now, it sucks and I wish I could pay more on it, but I know eventually I’ll be able to pay more on it and it’ll completely paid off.
One thing I have done is make a conscious effort to keep the rest of my debt down (credit cards and such).
LMo
I like the separate account idea. If I can just split my direct deposit into another account and never even look at it, I think that would be better.
nona
Mine is on a 30 year plan, but I have a workable plan to pay it off in 10. Would I love to be done with it sooner – of course. But barring big changes, not likely to happen. So I remind myself that 10 years isn’t too bad and I should in no way feel bad for taking that long to pay it off. Its better than 30 years.
And I am totally impressed by the $30K! I think I’ve only done a total of $5k over the course of the year, with the majority of that going to interest.
Its a marathon, not a sprint – so pace yourself.
Anonymous
I am usually a happy, active person but I feel like it is suffocating me.
Based on your comments over the last few weeks, this sounds less than accurate.
Tired Squared
I think this is uncalled for, Anon at 4:44.
Anonymous
She talks about feeling angry, feeling overwhelmed, wanting help, and admitting that some of her feelings are irrational. Her words, not mine.
Honey, get yourself some help. No need to suffer like this.
LMo
I think you may have me confused with someone else…
LMo
The happy, active part or the suffocating part? Thanks for the help!
Miriam
“Based on your comments over the last few weeks, this sounds less than accurate.”
If you are going to make comments like that, I wish you would somehow put a positive spin on them or offer something more than just that one sentence. What are you actually trying to accomplish by saying that?
Anon
Break it down into manageable steps. I broke them into groups and am paying them off (faster than required) one group at a time.
I bundled my loans into groups based on interest terms. I ended up with 4 different loan groups (all with the same lender) and I asked for them to be seperated by different due dates. I then enrolled each group into automatic debit to cover the “base” required payment. Then, I started paying down the highest interest group and making the minimum payments on the rest.
And since I only was paying attention to the decrease of the one group (now 1/4 of my total student loan debt) I could see progress much much faster. I’ve now paid off 2 of the 4 groups, and am well on my way to retiring the 3rd. Each time I finish off a group, I give myself a little mini-celebration, which will culminate in a big party when I pay off the fourth and final one in 15 months! (Come on May 2013!!)
LMo
Oh my gosh, that is so exciting to know you are going to be done! I like the idea of mini-celebrations as markers. Maybe I should start a savings account for loan payoff fireworks…
Anon from above
It really helps to see see the progress I’m making on the group that I’m paying down. Rather than feeling like my payments are a drop in the bucket of the student loan total, the payments are a much larger percentage of the “current” loan group, so I feel like I’m actually accomplishing something.
And I’m totally for the loan-payoff fireworks idea! I think I might start tucking away $10 a month for that purpose…
Loans
mini mint goal!
s in Chicago
I just wanted to say not to be so hard on yourself. I can’t even imagine what it must have taken to save that much with what you indicate you took in. That takes a lot of discipline and you should feel proud right now, not hopeless.
Maybe talk with a financial planner–I’m just wondering if there might be a good way to make the payments feel a little less burdensome for awhile.
And debt isn’t all about saving. Don’t underestimate the value in seeking better pay (unless you’re at your dream job). I’m not in law and I know the job market is tough, but I was able to transition from making $22,000 a year out of school to a position that paid $35,000 to another that paid $45,000 and now make around $90,000 through various promotions. It hasn’t been all at once obviously–but I’m somewhere I never would have dreamed 10 years ago. I love my job and have a lot of flexibility (wasn’t always the case). Just try to keep in mind that when you’ve got a decent education, determination, and a strong work ethic, you’ve got the tools to climb out of it. I know it’s tough to feel like progress is being made. But you really will be there some day.
found a peanut
The cold hard truth is that if you think about it, it’s super-depressing. So the only solution is to not think about it. I have a payment plan, I make my payments every month, and that is that. What more can I do?
The best is when my mother in law was like, I stay up nights thinking about all the money you owe. Thanks, mother in law! Just what I need to know! If it really bothers you, I’m sure you can find a way to ease your mental suffering…
Sydney Bristow
I agree with this. Sometimes I’m completely overwhelmed by it but I do my best to not think about it. I’m making my payments, which is already a step forward from where I thought I would be the month before my grace period ended. Honestly I’ve found that the best way for me to deal sometimes is make a joke out of it and call it monopoly money.
It is depressing to look at my budget software and see my net worth listed as a red six-figure number. I try instead to look at the small amount I’ve been able to put aside as an emergency fund. Although its small, that amount is increasing at a much faster rate than my loan balances are decreasing and once it reaches a certain amount I already have the plan worked out to aggressively pay off my credit card and then pay a little extra on my loans. For me, having a plan laid out makes me feel less upset about the amount of debt I have because I take comfort in following the plan. I’m also grateful that I’m currently making enough money to follow the plan, even though that plan is currently just paying the minimums.
LMo
Thank you for the very helpful replies! I opened a separate bank account today and am putting all of the loans on auto-pay from that account so that I don’t have to look at it or think about it anymore. Also I think I am going to start a $10/month “celebration” fund for mini-markers. I’m thinking a nice dinner every time I drop it another 10k. I generally feel better when I have a plan, so I think these should do the trick.
Anonymous: You told me to get help, and look – I did! :)
Loans
Ugh! I know! I work so hard and I get a bonus check. Then, I drive away in my crappy car, to my small apartment with just enough cheap suits and pay a small part of one loan with it. And it is hard to see it on Mint.com. I got a really nice bonus and I worked really hard for it. My initial reaction to the bonus was “meh” because it won’t make a dent in anything. Of course I was tempted to at least spend some on myself for a reward but, paying off credit cards was so gratifying, I just want the same debt free mentality with my student loans.
$30K is super impressive. I am not proud to say I spent almost half that paying off my credit cards (now all paid off with the bonus) from school and no where near that for my student loans.
I like the separating the loans into groups idea. I already do the same thing with the money being transferred into a separate account so I do not see it. (Same as savings that comes out of each check).
KK
For me, it was most depressing my last year of school, when I wasn’t working enough to make any payments and I was just watching this debt grow and accumulate interest. Once I started paying it down, and made a point to pay at least the interest accruing every month even if my minimum payment was less than that (via IBR), I felt better because at least the debt was going down. I felt like I was at least moving in the right direction- towards less debt, not more. Kind of like if you want to lose weight, the first thing is to stop gaining. So try to focus on that- even if it’s moving slowly, it is moving in the right direction.
And know you’re not alone. Tackling a mountain of student loan debt can be depressing and overwhelming. It’s a giant weight on your shoulders all the time.
meme
I’m trying but I can’t like these shoes. Something about the sole makes me think whoever is wearing them should also have a golf shirt tucked into too-high rise jeans and a braided leather belt. Hello 1994.
I much prefer the Cole Haans Bonnie linked to.
Was Scared Anony
So I went in to get my lump checked yesterday. They did an ultrasound first and said it was a cyst so no mammogram! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. Thank you all for the kind thoughts!!
And now go feel your own boobies. Do it!
AnonInfinity
PHEW!
Thank you for the update!
N.
Very glad to hear!
Godzilla
Yay, happy news!
a.
So glad to hear this! You know we’ve all been thinking of your :) and I actually felt up my boobies as soon as I read your original post, haha.
mamabear
YAY! I’m so happy for you that they were able to tell that just from the ultrasound.
I had one a few years ago and the ultrasound was “inconclusive,” so then I had to have the needle biopsy and wait (and wait and wait) for the results. It was also a benign cyst. But that’s why I didn’t post on your thread because I didn’t want to freak you out about the potential waiting.
Congratulations!
Tired Squared
So happy to hear this!
AT
Great news! You must feel so relieved :-) Thanks for updating us.
KW
So happy for you. What a relief right before the holidays. You deserve some wine/shopping/something for your recent stress! Thanks for updating us.
AIMS
Yes, happy news deserve a mini celebration! So glad to hear this. And, echo the sentiment – everyone should do a self-check and remind our mothers and other female loved ones to do the same.
springtime
Congrats! Very happy for you too!!
Midwest
YAY! I am so happy for you.
Sydney Bristow
That is fantastic news!
Coalea
After a long and stressful job search, I have finally received an offer for a position I recently interviewed for! I’m so excited to be going back to work – both from a financial and productivity standpoint. Only possible downside: less time to read Corporette once I have actual responsibilities to attend to! :)
Always a NYer
Congrats!!! I’m sure you’ll find time to read Corporette, even if you don’t have it ;)
Susan
Congratulations!! Pop open a bottle of champagne, and read as much Corporette as you can before the job starts! ;-)
Sydney Bristow
Congratulations!! Celebrations all around today! I hope you get to just enjoy the last few days of the year and start in January.
Anon for this
This is driving me crazy and I have to tell someone, so here goes … my period is late. I’m never late or have many PMS symptoms beyond moodiness. I feel exactly how I did when I was first pregnant with DS (sore boobs, tired, occasional wooziness), but I’ve taken three pregnancy tests since Friday and all have been negative. I’m convinced the tests are wrong. C’mon, hCG hormones, work your magic — or not. I just want to know! If I still feel like this after Christmas, I’m going to the doc for a blood test.
DH thinks I’m having psychosomatic symptoms. I asked him what made him think that, and his response was, “What are the odds we’d succeed on the first try?” I swear he’s an intelligent man, but really, dude?!
anon
Not sure if you are looking for sympathy, or congratulations, or something in between? Either way, you’ll have your answer shortly so I hope it is an answer you want. Happy Holidays.
Anon for this
I hope I’m pregnant, but the waiting period is driving me up the wall!
Research, Not Law
For this second pregnancy, it took me forever to get a positive test. I don’t know what was up. I had symptoms before a positive (at maybe 2 weeks after missed period?). Both our kids have been one-hit wonders, so while I have no idea what the odds are, it can happen! Good luck to you!
Anon for this
And the pregnancy was fine even though it took awhile to register? With DS, it was so different. I tested on the first day of my missed period and it took all of 30 seconds for a positive sign to register.
Research, Not Law
Completely fine. I’m at 30 weeks. All signs point to normal.
With my daughter, I had an immediate positive test, too. It was lightening fast on the first one. I have no explanation. It wasn’t a timing thing; I’m measuring spot-on in every way.
Oh! But you know, for some reason a small but not insignificant proportion (~5%) of pregnancies just don’t register at all for the first month. Duh, this happened to my sister-in-law and I never connected the dots until now. I’ve never heard why or how, really. She hardcore charts and took tests. Trust me, it was not human error – there was absolutely no sign of pregnancy until the next month. They had a big surprise when they went for the first u/s and had their due date moved up a month! The pregnancy was and resulting child (now a toddler) is completely normal and fine.
Nonny
Two pieces of news!
1. Just finished my last item of Christmas shopping. Phew.
2. Heard back from the firm that I interviewed with a couple of weeks ago – they want to set up a second interview!
Now if only I could finish all my work, clean the house, do my baking and finish wrapping presents tonight, it would be a super awesome day.
Sydney Bristow
Yay! Congratulations! It sounds like a super awesome day to me!
AnonInfinity
Huzzah! Enjoy the evening!
You should wine while baking and wrapping. That will make it go by faster.
Nonny
Wine. Yes. There will be wine.
isabelle
Please help?! Totally unrelated to the current subject, but I am a new paralegal working for an in-house counsel (who is also my new boss). He just presented me with a gift from a store (about $60 value). I know very little about him (in his 40s with 2 kids). What should I gift to him? ( A bottle of scotch seems appropriate, but, perhaps, there is something else that might be more original/nicer? )I am more inclined to give a book, but don’t know his interests. Ideas would be GREATLY appreciated!!! Thank you in advance.
mamabear
Don’t give him a gift! Thank him sincerely for what he gave you and wish him a happy holiday.
There was a thread about this the other day and the consensus was to not
gift upwards.
I am a manager and I prefer my staff not give me gifts. I worry that they will feel like you do – that you must give something back now that you’ve received a gift – but I don’t want them to feel that way. A gift from the boss is a thank you for your hard work and you should not feel obligated to give anything back.
NOLA
Totally agree with mamabear. I got each of my female staff a small gift and wrote each of them a personal card thanking them for their hard work, but specifically asked them not to give me gifts.
Tired Squared
I think this depends–are you one of many paralegals? If so, I wonder if he may have given a similar gift to everyone as a part of his holiday tradition, and he doesn’t expect something in return (especially since it sounds like you may be new?)
Ann
Yes, to us lawyers, gifts go down the chain, not up. In the federal government, at least, this is spelled out in our ethics rule.
Regretful gift giver
I adore my boss (GC of a company). His assistant gives him gifts every year for bday and xmas and she told me that his past employees (former Asst GCs) gave him gifts. So, I (new and only Asst GC) didn’t want to rock the office culture boat and gave him a gift for the first xmas which set precedent. It’s now 5 years later and I am totally kicking myself that I ever started down this path. I can’t stop now because I’m sure he’ll wonder why. I wish I would’ve just ignored her tip and gone with my gut. No gifts for bosses. It is not necessary.
TCFKAG
If you really want to do something, get a nice holiday card and write a note saying how much you’ve enjoyed working with him. And perhaps some cookies or candy or something like that which he could share with the office.
But generally, I agree with above, gifts go down not up.