Previously, on Corporette: The Top Posts of 2011

8 Comments

1. It was great to read back through some of these old posts from before I had discovery Corporette (and therefore much more productive at work). Reading the engagement ring thread, I was interested in just how many indicated, get what you want/what you’re comfortable with (which I agree with).

   However, I wonder how that actually works out. Am I just being overly-romantic in assuming that the guy picks it out and “surprises” you with it? I’m in a long-term relationship where marriage has been discussed (as in both of us saying we want to marry each other and making long term plans), but there’s been no talk of the types of ring I want or us going to pick one out together. I anticipate that he will do the shopping and propose with the ring already purchased.

   For those that told their husband-to-be what kind of ring you wanted, when did that conversation occur? Did he tell you he was shopping for rings or just in a casual “hypothetical” conversation?

   1. If this is a serious relationship and you’ve had a lot of discussion about marriage and long-term plans – as you should, of course – I see no reason why you shouldn’t feel comfortable bringing it up if you have strong feelings about it. My fiance told me he didn’t want to spend the cash on something I didn’t like. So we talked about it and I picked something out. He bought it later.

      In the grand scheme of things (e.g. spending the rest of your lives together) it’s really something you should feel comfortable discussing openly. The diamond industry has a vested interest in making you think it’s about mystery and surprise and storybook romance but honestly, it’s like anything else. Discuss.

      1. I agree with anon. As part of that discussion you could talk about where on the “spectrum of input” you’re both comfortable. Some couples want to go through the whole shopping process and pick something out together. My husband really wanted to make sure that he chose something I liked, but preferred to do the actual shopping himself. I was comfortable with that, so what we ended up doing was I sent him an email with general guidelines (e.g. yellow gold, no prongs (bezel setting), round or oval stone, etc.) and then probably 7 links to pictures of rings I had found online that I really liked, and (in a separate, clearly-identified section!) links to pictures of rings I did NOT like. He ended up having a ring custom-made for me that I absolutely adore. It fit all of my criteria, yet was a little different from what I would have chosen, so it reflects him a bit too – that is really special to me.

   2. We went fun shopping together (tiffanys) and then he did the real shopping on his own (online).

   3. I guess my question concerns more, how do you bring it up. He hasn’t proposed and has mentioned nothing of rings. He is a bit of a romantic too, and I think he is looking forward to doing the whole surprise proposal thing.

      I don’t want to bring up the issue prematurely and take away his fun in planning the surprise. On the other hand, I don’t think he has any idea of what kind of ring I might like. I generally don’t wear rings and only recently bought one for myself to wear on a daily basis. He’s bought jewelry for me before, and while it’s been ok, neither piece was something I would have picked for myself. I’m concerned he may not pick out a good ring (I know that sounds really shallow, but it is something that I will wear everyday, so I want to really like it).

      I’m probably over thinking things, and I should have faith that he’ll either pick something that I’ll like or ask me about it first.

      Have any of you had this situation? How did you bring up the topic without sounding too naggy or too impatient or too high maintenance?

      1. Well, in case this is of any use at all, we got my mum involved. I suggested my then-fiance get her input on where to buy since she has long-standing relationships with some folks in the gemstone business, and she also ended up ‘guiding’ him towards my preference. It would have been an awkward discussion without her since my fiance had NO idea what these things cost !

         We’ve been married 14 years and I still love the ring and he still reckons its primary value is protection from predatory males (I used to work in a client-sales role).

2. I am in my 2nd year of law school and I work full-time as a paralegal. I’ve gone through my share of pen trials. I have about three different pens sitting on my desk. The Uni-Ball Deluxe – with this pen, I feel like I am scratching the paper. The Pilot VBall BG 05 – these pens are nice, but they run out of ink soon. The Uni-Ball Vision Elite – my favorite. It’s smooth with a steady flow of ink.

3. Hi Ladies,

   I was reading a thread last week with quite a few posts about how horrible working for a firm is and it got me thinking and I really hope some of you will share your thoughts with me on this since I am in a similar boat:

   I am sure before going to law school you heard all the horror stories about miserable partners, demanding clients, and rampant downsizing but what made you decide to become a lawyer anyway? The work seems interesting but I am having a hard time wrapping my head around all the negative stories. Do you just decide that it comes with the territory and you will deal with it, or did you think “that won’t happen to me”?

Comments are closed.