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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 137 Comments · by

Coffee Break – Chanel Nail Colour

Beauty· Coffee Break | · · ·

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I must say that my latest pedicure has lasted for a ridiculously long time (I got it on 5/21 and am just now thinking of removing the polish!). I'm wondering whether it's the polish I used — Vamp by Chanel. (I splurged on it when it came back into vogue a few years ago because I had desperately wanted it in college, and even though it's not all the rage I still like the deep, dark burgundy look.) In general, I'm curious — how often do you splurge on “fancy” nailpolishes to take with you to the salon? Which brands are your favorite? Chanel nail colors (including Vamp, as well as the of-the-moment color, Black Pearl, pictured) are $25 and available at Nordstrom. CHANEL LE VERNIS NAIL COLOUR icon (L-2)

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Comments

  1. Heidi

    Love me some Chanel nail polish! I hunted that exact color (Black Pearl) down at Nordstrom back in February.

    Why I like Chanel polish: It’s good quality; the colors are unique and fashion forward; and where else can you get something Chanel for $25? :)

    • KD

      I love this Black Pearl color, too, Heidi! It’s so chic and I feel is an okay darker color for my workplace ;)

      It’s the only Chanel polish I’ve bought, but the color and quality is superb. Maybe come this fall I’ll splurge on another Chanel color; for now my collection of OPI polish will have to do.

      I do wish Chanel would adopt the wider brushes like OPI and even the Sally Hansen Insta-Dry bottles.

      • JJ

        This exact color (Black Pearl) was my first Chanel nail-polish splurge, as well. I use it exclusively on my toes (not to say others can’t use it on their fingers, I’m just not that adventurous) and I LOVE it. It goes on very easily, doesn’t “streak” and lasts a (comparatively) long time.

        For reference, every other nail polish I own is either Essie or OPI, and I continue to use them often. But based on the polish above, every now and then I will splurge on Chanel.

    • anony

      I love chanel nail polish. I prefer the lighter colors that are easier to apply at home but have serious collection that include darker hues.

    • GRA

      “and where else can you get something Chanel for $25?”

      EXACTLY! I love Chanel nail polish! (Plus, it does last a super long time!!)

  2. Mariana

    Deborah Lippmann has a great line. There isn’t a huge variety of color (compared to O.P.I.) but the colors they have are very nice and don’t chip. It also lasts a good 3 weeks as well. You can find it at Nordstrom or online at http://lippmanncollection.com. Lady is a Tramp is great shade of red and Baby Love is a very discreet pink.

  3. Makeup Junkie

    I have a collection of Zoya polishes that I rotate through for my salon visits, but I see now that I must have Black Pearl!

    • AJ

      How do you find Zoya? I went to a salon that used their polishes exclusively, and I appreciated the vegan philosophy, but I have never had polish chip that fast or that badly. I’m wondering if it’s a fluke.

      • S in Chicago

        Mario Tricoci sells it in my area. I usually buy a pale pink, and it lasts forever. I bought a creamy beige recently,however, and it flakes every time. Really weird to have it vary so much.

      • Anna D.

        My sense is that Zoya often plays badly with other brands’ base coats or top coats, so if the salon wasn’t using those, it might be the problem. (Although if they really are exclusive, that wouldn’t fly, so never mind…) It might also depend on the shade – I know people who have had that problem, but I find most of my Zoyas very hard wearing. (That said, I would never ever expect a manicure to last three weeks – staying respectable for four days is about my max, in part because I get bored and change the color!)

        You can find Zoya online at zoya.com, and if you follow them on Twitter or FB, they have a TON of great promotions (in the last 2 weeks: buy one thing from the website, get two polishes free [specific ones, not your choice, but they have done “your choice” promos] and free shipping).

        • Anna D.

          Oops, the OP referenced a pedi, not mani… I do leave polish on my toes for 3 weeks, easy (although it’s usually a wreck by then!). Fingers & toes are different!

        • AJ

          I think my Zoya manicure lasted…a day? Before it started chipping, and I had to remove it two or three days later, which I consider very, very bad for a salon manicure. My pedicure is still on, but that’s mostly because I haven’t bothered to remove it yet. It chipped within a week, I’d say.

      • Makeup Junkie

        I buff my nails frequently so the polish has a smooth base to adhere to. Salons don’t do that which always made my manis and pedis chip terribly
        I also tell the salon to skip the base and top coat; I feel like Zoya lady’s better without those

        I’ve never tried Zoya’s base and top coats though; any reviews?

    • jcb

      I am wearing my first Zoya polish as I type. Applied it Friday (myself, with base, two layers and top coat); last night I noticed that 3 nails had chipped; applied another base coat, layer and top coat on top of my prior paint job; and for now, at least, it looks pretty great.

      It’s a color a little out of my comfort zone, but I like it – light gray. Came in my last Birchbox (monthly service that sends a random selection of high-end samples), so figured I should try it out. Kind of cool – I have never been a black or blue or green kind of nail polish girl, but the gray kind of works – I am looking at it as just a neutral, not a crazy color.

  4. AIMS

    I am all for a nice polish that doesn’t chip, but I don’t understand how you can keep any polish on for 3 weeks. Your nails grow in that time, which means that even if it looks exactly the same, it still doesn’t fill the whole nail. I think the most I have ever gone is 10-14 days, and by the end, it definitely felt like I was pushing it.

    • Assist

      With fingernails, I agree, but my toenails grow quite slowly. I’ve had the same pedicure for two weeks already.

      • S in Chicago

        Beware the no-chip pedicure. I had “gellish” polish put on during a weekend spa trip with friends and couldn’t get it off for like three months. It looked absolutely disgusting growing out. I ended up wrapping my toes in tinfoil with pads of acetone to finally get it loose enough that I could chip away at it. I literally spent hours on a Thursday night to get the last remnants. Never, ever, ever again.

        Be careful what you wish for. I definitely learned the hard way that there is such a thing as too long without chipping.

        • KD

          To make removing gel polish a bit easier, you need to file the polish’s surface a first. This helps the acetone penetrate the polish ‘shell’ better.

          • Niktaw

            Has anyone tried removing these “gel polishes” in a salon? I’d rather pay than spend hours breathing acetone fumes!

        • Eponine

          I think you are supposed to go back to the salon to have it removed, actually. But they basically soak your fingers/toes in a bath of acetone. That alone is enough to make me not want to try the gel polish – can you imagiene how bad that would be for your skin?

          • somewherecold

            My salon said they would put an acetone-soaked cotton ball on top of the nails and let it sit (I just peeled off the polish the one time I had shellac, so I didn’t make it back to the salon). I agree it’s not terribly appealing, but it’s a bit better than having your fingers immersed in acetone.

    • Tired Squared

      Definitely true on my hands (and I chip them well before the 10-day mark anyway!) but on my feet it’s another story. I’ve had my pedicure for a month and it still looks good. I do admit having to file down a couple of the nails though … somehow the pinky gets out of control before the rest!

    • don't pedi

      Just a warning but some of this is pretty gross:

      One of the problems that people don’t realize is the filter in those giant massaging pedicure chairs. When your skin is buffed off (with files or razors) some of it ends up in the water basin. Also, people’s feet bleed (from filing or from hangnails sometimes) and everything gets gunked up in the filter.

      There was an investigation done on one of the nighttime news shows a few years ago (can’t remember which one) where they went and investigated these salons. They’re supposed to bleach soak the tubs between every use and clean the filter after every use. I have NEVER seen a salon do that. They showed a few people who had been severely impacted. One girl was 18 and got a pedicure for her senior prom. She ended up with TB and giant sores all over her legs which are now scars. She said she never thought she could wear shorts or a dress again because her legs were so scarred. It was extremely sad to see.

      All it takes is one little cut to get that bacteria in there. The tips they gave were not to go to these salons but if you do decide to go you should make sure that you shaved 24 hours before and not sooner so that any minor tiny cuts have time to close.

      With all the possibilities (TB, Hepatitis, and MRSA!!!!) I just don’t go to those salons for pedicures anymore. I go to a high end spa that only uses separate bowls to soak your feet and I’ve seen them clean them after every use. No filters, no worries. It doesn’t matter how clean the tools are if your feet are soaking in bacteria.

      • Equity's Darling

        I have an insane fear of catching MRSA at the gym (it’s never happened at my gym, I just read an article about it). Now I can add spas to the list. People are going to start thinking I’m crazy soon….but MRSA is scary.

      • Eponine

        I’ve actually seen the salon I go to cleaning the tub with a bleach solution between every customer, fwiw. So not all salons are created equal.

        • Anon

          Ditto Eponine, my salon uses a soft scrub with bleach cleaner between each customer.

  5. SSJD

    I read an article in Better Homes and Gardens (not sure why, but a free issue arrived at my door) that made me totally freaked out about getting fungal infections from pedicures. It made it sound like I should either bring my own tools, or accept that fungus and bacteria runs rampant. It was enough to make me give up the whole thing (and I’m 6 months pregnant with twins–it’s getting hard to reach my toes!). What have others’ experiences been with this “danger”. Is this another case of the media creating a problem, or is it a genuine concern?

    • Bunkster

      I think this might have to do with whether your pedicurist (is that a word?) uses razors. Here in MA, they our outlawed. But they’re allowed in RI.

      I don’t want to scare anybody. Maybe my sister went to a particularly bad place, but she lives in RI. Her third pregnancy was determined as high-risk, because she tested positive for Hepatitis. She’s pretty certain that it came from a pedicure.

      • Pedi

        Find a salon that uses a new set of tools for each client. I’ve been to one that literally does that for every service (new stick for each dip in the wax, new everything for manis and pedis, etc) and one that will store the tools for you in a box for your next visit (they have a bunch of cabinets with all their clients’ stuff)
        If they are obsessed with clean, they likely advertise it too.

      • kellyn

        Ahh! I’m in RI… definitely will be aware of this!

        I have to say, sometimes when there’s a language barrier, I really overemphasize that I do not want them cutting all my cuticles off. I’ve gotten infections (minor ones, but painful ones at that!) when they cut willy nilly too much off. I feel like those animals in those infomercials whose nails have been cut “to the quick” and they are writhing in pain.

    • Bonnie

      I make sure to go to salons, even the cheap ones, where they open a clean and sterile set of tools for each patient. I think the concern is that some places reuse tools without cleaning them but if they’re doing that, they’re probably not rinsing sinks etc.

      • AIMS

        Yeah, I would just say to find a clean salon. I go to a place around the corner from my apt. that is obsessive about cleanliness. I have sat there getting my nails done and watched them disinfect everything, including tubs, after every single client.

        On the other hand, there’s a salon right near my work that I would never dare step foot in (no pun intended) because they just don’t seem to care very much and rely on high turnover, not repeat customers, to stay in business.

        One simple solution if you are worried despite finding a seemingly clean salon — bring your own tools!

    • Anonymous

      The one I occasionally go to has toaster ovens prominently displayed, I guess to sanitize the tools. Hope that kills anything germy.

    • don't pedi

      SSJD I mean to have this as a reply to you:

      Just a warning but some of this is pretty gross:
      One of the problems that people don’t realize is the filter in those giant massaging pedicure chairs. When your skin is buffed off (with files or razors) some of it ends up in the water basin. Also, people’s feet bleed (from filing or from hangnails sometimes) and everything gets gunked up in the filter.
      There was an investigation done on one of the nighttime news shows a few years ago (can’t remember which one) where they went and investigated these salons. They’re supposed to bleach soak the tubs between every use and clean the filter after every use. I have NEVER seen a salon do that. They showed a few people who had been severely impacted. One girl was 18 and got a pedicure for her senior prom. She ended up with TB and giant sores all over her legs which are now scars. She said she never thought she could wear shorts or a dress again because her legs were so scarred. It was extremely sad to see.
      All it takes is one little cut to get that bacteria in there. The tips they gave were not to go to these salons but if you do decide to go you should make sure that you shaved 24 hours before and not sooner so that any minor tiny cuts have time to close.
      With all the possibilities (TB, Hepatitis, and MRSA!!!!) I just don’t go to those salons for pedicures anymore. I go to a high end spa that only uses separate bowls to soak your feet and I’ve seen them clean them after every use. No filters, no worries. It doesn’t matter how clean the tools are if your feet are soaking in bacteria.

      • anony

        Good point. I go to a french lady who wraps the basin in a new big plastic bag for each customer and then adds the soapy water. Needless to say she changes blades and sterilizes all her tools between customers as well.

    • Eponine

      It’s a genuine concern. You should see them either taking a clean set of tools out of a sterilizer for every client, or opening a new packet of tools if they use disposable ones. They should be cleaning the basins with a bleach solution between clients. And don’t ever go to the salon with an open cut on your feet/hands.

      • Eponine

        Oh, also – most (all?) states require that spa technicians be licensed. You should see the technicians’ licenses prominently displayed.

  6. BB

    I love all the colors, but can’t get by with regular nail polish, even for 24 hours. I get the soak-off gel manicures that last 2 weeks on me and I can do regular nail polish for my toes, which easily lasts 3 weeks.

    I am thinking of having clear gel applied and then regular nail polish over it so I can have a wider variety of color choices. At my salon the only gel they have that I like is a dark brown Shellac shade called Fedora. Every other color is garish and/or glittery. I would love to try more of these darker neutrals. (Which the ladies behind me yesterday thought were just awful and tacky – as they tried to find the perfect shades of fuschia.)

    The soak-off gels are VERY drying to the nail bed over time though, and after about 3 months of continual manicures, I’m starting to see a difference and I’m getting a bit of chipping. I have heard that cuticle oil 2x a day can really help, so I’m trying that. We’ll see. Otherwise I might need to go back to bare nails, which will be a shame.

    PS – with the gels, it’s also important to apply sunblock to the skin (but not the nails or cuticles) b/c of the UV lights.

  7. RK

    would have to disagree with Vamp not being all the rage – OPI’s knockoff (Lincoln Park After Dark) is one of their best selling colors – even years after the Chanel color came out.
    In general, I just stay with OPI. If I want to splurge on makeup, I go for lipstick.

      • Honeycrisp

        Chanel Rouge Coco Shine. It’s about $32 a tube at Nordstrom, but oh so worth it. It has a great creamy texture and gives a nice bit of shine without the sticky feeling of gloss. It lasts much longer than gloss too. I haven’t used anything else since I bought it about a month ago. Love.

      • Eponine

        Not a splurge, but Clinique’s High Impact lipstick is the best I’ve ever found. It has SPF and it is really moisturizing, and it stays on really well.

  8. Anna D.

    I have become a nail polish fiend & won’t even say how many I actually own now (however, I think about a dozen of them are variations on the same shade of taupe…). I like OPI, Essie, Zoya, China Glaze, Orly, Spa Ritual, Color Club – I’m pretty ecumenical! But I’m cheap, too – I often get Color Club from Ross (where they’ll get the seasonal colors in in sets and sell them 7 polishes for $8) – and I try to buy OPI & Essie at Ulta with a coupon, or China Glaze and Orly at Sally’s, where they’re discounted and you can get a club card for $5/year that gives you another discount.

    I’ve never actually tried Chanel, because it’s too expensive, and I’ve heard bad things about it chipping. My holy grain is Rescue Beauty Lounge polish, which has the most AMAZING formula and gorgeous colors (at $18/bottle. Sigh).

    • KD

      Stock up tip wrt Ulta and OPI: for the past few Black Friday sales Ulta’s had a buy-two-get-one-free deal on OPI polishes :D

  9. Lena

    I mostly stick with OPI for everyday use since they are cheap and I like the applicator, but I have a few Lancome polishes that are quite nice ($15.50-$19). I actually hate Essie polishes even though they seem to be a cult favorite. The applicator is tiny and I find that the formula is very streaky and takes 3+ coats to get opaque.

    • KD

      I’ve had the same experience with Essie: takes 3+ coats for their ‘famed’ nude tones to have any sort of opacity…which is then hyper-susceptible to nicks and dents.

      • ATC

        Seriously! I just bought a light pink bottle of Essie this weekend and hated it. Tiny brush, and I had to put 4 coats on just to get an even pink color. Sticking with OPI and Sally Hansen.

        • Anna D.

          I think with Essie it depends a lot on the color. Some shades – even pale ones, like Body Language or Jazz – are quite opaque on me and usually require only 2 coats. But a lot of their pinks/nudes are really intended to be sheer, not opaque.

          (Also, pastels are generally streakier, no matter who makes them, and they’ll require more coats because of that.)

          • KD

            I agree, pastels do tend to have streaks, but even the Revlon and OPI nude colors I’ve used only take 2-3 coats for opacity (3 for larger fingernails, my thumbnails are a bit ridgey). I do love Essie’s dark tones for toes though!

    • NYC

      I don’t get light colors so can’t speak to your issue. But I find Essie to last much longer than OPI on my manicures. That may have something to do with how Essie interacts with a top coat I apply every few days (Wet and Wild is actually the best one I have found). Makes my manicure last about 10 days when using Essie. Not so with OPI.

  10. Lisa

    Don’t wear fingernail polish. Can’t get past thinking it isn’t for me. But I bought a bottle of Chanel Particulière last summer and still bring it to the nail salon on occasion. Love it, taupe, violet, grayish.

      • Anonymous

        Also a fan of neat and buffed. My athletic pursuits (bjj, judo, kickboxing, running) are not kind to nail polish :)

    • Ru

      I just bought Essie Chinchilly based on one of your older posts! Cannot wait to try it out.

      • Cat

        I used Chinchilly for a few manicures in the winter — actually got complimented by more than one receptionist in a client’s building as I held my wallet waiting for them to return my ID! Very nice gray, although it feels a little too cozy to wear in hot weather (to me – but for summer I’m a pale pinks/nudes on the fingers, corals/berries on the toes kinda gal).

    • Nonny

      Not so much that fingernail polish isn’t for me, but it never lasts! I do the dishes once and the polish is toast. How do people actually manage to keep nice manicures without being overly precious about it?

      • KD

        I’ve started using gloves for dishes and any cleaning with chemicals I do around the house. It was initially to help save my perpetually dry and cracking hands and cuticles, but doing so has definitely prolonged my mani lifespan to around 2 wks.
        Applying a thin top coat every 2 to 3 days helps too, to a point. I use Sally Hansen’s dual top and base coat polish for this ( blue cube bottle) since I can get a real thin coat out of it. Too many layers makes polish more chip-susceptible (think flaky paint on a fence)

    • Bunkster

      I can’t keep my hands still long enough for the polish to dry. Of course, it doesn’t help that my hands have a slight tremor.

  11. Runnin' for it

    I’ve become cheap when it comes to this and some other things now. I just bought Revlon nail polish for $1.99 after rewards at CVS. I don’t expect it to last more than a week, but I don’t mind. To each their own. I also had a three piece suit and skirt tailored down after losing weight (a classiques entier suit and Ann Taylor skirt) for a grand total of $90. The suit is the best fitting suit I have ever had.

  12. eaopm3

    Since it’s come up, I would like to give my Shellac review:

    It took my nail tech an eternity to apply it – I was there for over two hours. Initially, I loved the result. I got a light pink on my toes and clear on my fingernails. My toes looked great the entire time I kept the Shellac on, but the clear coat on my nails started to sort of turn yellow-ish after about three weeks. Getting it off was nearly impossible and it left my nails feeling dry and looking a little icky.

    The amount of time it stays on and the no-chip factor were pros, but I wouldn’t do it again for the price, the time, the way it left my nails and the lack of color selection available.

    • BB

      Re: Shellac, my manicures always take an hour, and that includes soaking off the previous manicure (15 min). I’m not surprised to hear that the clear yellowed though – I’ve noticed that the base coat (which is clear) is sometimes yellow-tinged coming out of the bottle if it’s been open a while. It’s never affected my color or durability though. 3 weeks is a long time for a manicure to last though. I would think that was great. (I tend to get small chips just a few days before my 2 weeks are up and you can see the growth around the nail bed – I’d never last 3.)

      As for removal, if you soak properly (bit of acetone soaked cotton on the nail, wrapped tightly in foil) for a full 10 minutes, the gel is almost gone when they pull the wraps off. A very light scrape of the remaining bits is all that is required. Techs that rush the soaking process tend to scrape a lot and damage the nails. I won’t let them short-change the 10 minutes. A bowl of acetone works for crap too, and is worse for your fingers. And if you peel it off yourself, you will definitely pull off the top layer of your nail.

      Color selection sucks though. I would like to try applying nail polish over a few layers of clear Shellac (or Gelish clear). They did not like that idea at my salon though – no doubt they thought it would take longer.

  13. Melissa

    Does anyone have suggestions for a good neutral tone for someone with super pale skin? Since my last one lasted approximately 24 hours (OPI polish) I have been considering investing in my own bottle of high end polish for my fingers (the pedicure I got at the same time is still going strong a week and a half later).

    I am checking out the brands listed here, but was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for color.

    • jcb

      Not sure what you are looking for exactly by “neutral”, but I like Mademoiselle and Starter Wife, both by Essie. Really light, natural-looking clearish pinks for me, and I am super pale.

      • Melissa

        I was thinking nudes or light pinks. Though I occasionally have problems with light pink being just different enough to look “off” on my nails.

    • KD

      hmm, my DIY OPI manicures last me around 10 days. Do you use base and top coats? The Orly bonder and no chip base and top coats have yielded the best results for me in the past.

      I’d say OPI Hearts and Tarts, or Chanel 493-Jade Rose or 169-Ballerina. Ballerina and Hearts&Tarts both have faint blue undertones, while Jade Rose has a bit of a peachish tint to it, though still rather fair in tone.

      • shrink

        KD, do you find any trouble “mixing” other no-chip and base coats with the OPI enamel? I find my OPI (DYI of course, like you) last about a week or so, but I type alot and do housework and yardwork, so the edges always need touch ups. Just wondering about the same-co. issue.

        Corporettes in general, for the DIY nails, what do you do to mitigate the darkening/yellowing from red and fuschia polishes when you either (1) cut your nails short for other reasons or (2) have no time to put a new color on immediately or (3) just want to give the nails a rest from polish?

        Always been an issue for me…

        Love the talk about nails as they are a part of our fashion and impression on others.

        Reading the above has made me think more than twice about my DH’s mention of something he read about the gel nails.

        • Anne Shirley

          OPI Otherwise Engaged just lasted 2 weeks for me. Unfortunately, it made me wish I had a ring on my pretty little hands the whole time.

        • KD

          I actually don’t like the OPI base coat. It doesn’t really prevent chipping in my experience. I use either Sally Hansen’s dual top and base coat, or Orly’s Bonder. Neither have failed to keep my nails from yellowing when I use red polish, too :) Hope that helps!

          nail polish…my beauty product weakness haha.

    • Eponine

      I am super pale and my favorite is OPI Catch the Garter. Two coats on my toes, one one my fingers. I’ve often had people recommend Essie Ballet Slippers, but I found it really streaky on me.

  14. Pedicures Only

    I get regular pedicures every 3-5 weeks. My toenails grow very quickly and after about 3-4 weeks, they have grown enough that they need to be trimmed and the most recently grown part near the base has no polish. I used to love dark shimmery colors like the Chanel one here.

    HOWEVER, does anyone else have this problem: about two years ago, for no apparent reason, the nails on my big toes started getting a horizontal crack, paralell to the top of the nail, a little below the line that separates pink from white. People tell me it’s from running, but I’ve been running for years and it just started.

    As a result, I now use Nailtiques Protein Formula 2. The aesthetician applies it as polish at the end of my pedicure (it is clear), and then I add a coat every day or so until I go back in. It really helps my nails keep from breaking. But it means no more color.

    Any suggestions?

    • MelD

      I have the same issue and it’s because I have really soft nails. I need to keep my nails very short or the big toenail will crack as you mention. You probably need to trim them every few weeks if they grow as fast as you say.

    • SB

      I had this happen a little while ago, but it was because the technician managed to crack my big toenail when she was shaping my nail. Took me almost six months to grow it out. The tech felt bad and put acrylic on my nail to hold it together (it was deep), until it grew out. I trimmed it up and now I’m back to normal. Perhaps your tech cracked your nail and didn’t tell you? Or is this a reoccurring problem (you let it grow and trim it short, and it happens again)?

  15. BarStudier

    Any tips on a nice pale/ neutral for olive undertone/ fair skin? I’ve tried and tried, but no luck yet. I gravitate towards Essie’s darker colors (bordeaux, wicked) but I’d like something a little more ladylike sometimes… thanks!

    • Scully

      I like Sephora by OPI’s Nonfat Soy Half Caff. It’s got a bit of peach to it, but I think it’s neutral enough for both warm and cool skin tones. I like to use one coat if I need nice nails in a hurry. One downside is that because it’s lighter, it takes 3 coats to get a true opaque finish.

  16. Lizzie

    I think the last nail polish I “splurged” on was a shade or two from OPI. I found a nice, clean, neutral shade that Iloved, so I wanted to make sure I always had it on hand.

  17. F

    I hate to be a hater and thread jack, but sometimes I get so frustrated with the women I work with. They are partners in

  18. Eponine

    This thread made me want to paint my nails SO badly, and I am so bad at it. After four attempts at polishing my nails, I give up. Sad, sad.

    Also? I previously thought that OPI and Essie were expensive, salon quality polish. $8 for nail polish seems like a lot to me, so I’m surprised to learn that there’s quite a market for $25 polish.

    And I’m totally on team OPI. I’ve never found an Essie polish that didn’t streak.

    • Scully

      Sign me up for team OPI too.

      I practiced with clear coat, then moved on to sheer, pale colors that only needed one coat. Next were dark colors that only need one or two coats. Also, practicing on your toes is a lot easier (and easier to hide!). Now I think I can do nearly as good a job as a salon.

      • Eponine

        I can do my toes just fine. The problem is that my non-dominant hand is really, really non-dominant. :)

        But the fifth try was the charm!

    • Equity's Darling

      I’ve never paid less than $15 for OPI polish in Canada…so$25 for Chanel didn’t seem like a huge jump.

      • eb

        Really? You should be able to get them for $8-10 at places like Trade Secrets and Chatters (not sure if those are nation-wide though?). $15 seems super steep!

    • Accountress

      What’s your process for painting your nails? I paint my dominant hand first, because it’s easier to hold the brush in that hand even when the paint is wet. It takes a little longer, because I have to wait for the non-dominant one to dry before I can start applying second and top coats, but it makes me more comfortable with the procedure.

      If you’re concerned about getting polish all up on your skin, apply your base coat to the skin just surrounding the nail, too, and that’ll make it easier for you to remove the excess polish when it dries.

    • KD

      My friend coats her cuticles with Vasoline before doing her nails, says it’s like painters tape and helps prevent major clean up work after the nails have dried :)

  19. F

    Sometimes I get so frustrated with the women partners I work for. It seems like every single project is a storm of insanity and bad instructions and questionable clients (always working contingency fee) that I rarely get paid on. Write offs count against you at my firm, so I don’t have the luxury of being able to waste my own time.
    I am as patient as I can be, and really WANT these people to succeed, and am willing to do whatever they need to make their projects successful, but I have a lot of serious concerns. There are 3 (of 5) that are really impossible (and, frankly, unprofitable) to work for, even compared with the craziest, most notoriously ridiculous man that I work for. Friday, partner a specified a specific document she wanted me to work off of and “recreate” for a deal we are doing. I stayed all freaking weekend working to make my document equal to source document, which was very detailed. When I turn project in, she was said, “oh, I just needed x, not all this.” x looks nothing like what I was provided and would have taken about an hour to do. I now get many hours written off.

    I get so frustrated because I want to have women succeed who are ahead of me, and would love to do anything necessary to make it work, but I HATE working for them because there are always major issues. This is not a one-time thing. It is an every time thing. I never get paid for the time I spend on my female partners’ projects.

    I feel terrible for even writing this.

    • Former 3L

      Oy. I feel you. I’ve never had a successful experience with a female boss and it makes me feel like the worst feminist ever. Nothing to do but remind yourself that these women do not = all women, and maybe you’ll have better luck with the next lady-boss. (And to be awesome yourself when you’re the boss!)

  20. Teodora

    I just bought one from Estee Lauder and my coworkers are giving me the guilt trip. I don’t think I will do it again:)

    Teodora
    teodoraslookbook

  22. SS

    NARS is great, though $17ish. I have just one – Purple Rain – but it’s a very rich, dark purple. Definitely a statement. It stayed on for about 2 weeks without reapplying top coat, and I made no effort in that time to be careful with my fingernails. Longest I’ve ever had a polish stay on.

    • Alanna of Trebond

      I like NARS too. But recently, I’ve gotten into the Rimmel polishes that can now be found at CVS — best ones I’ve ever used. I also use Orly’s rubberized basecoat and top droplet system — I’ve found my nailpolish stays a lot longer that way.

      • Kanye East

        Yes! Rimmel Lasting Finish Pro in Steel Gray is my new best friend. I don’t do manicures or polish very often, but I am really impressed with Rimmel & like it better than any Chanel, OPI, or Essie I’ve ever tried.

  23. Anon for this

    What is divorce-worthy?

    I’m just throwing this out there — I love my husband, I really do, and we’ve been married for 5 years and have a one-year old daughter. About two years ago he started doing this thing where he would randomly hide beer around our apartment and sneak drink it like he was in high school. It’s not like we don’t drink socially — we do — but if it was a night that I wasn’t drinking and he wanted to, instead of asking me or just doing it in front of me, he would drink behind my back. Needless to say, this was really, really infuriating and we went to therapy for it. He probably relapses every 6 months or so and again, so frustrating. Our therapist said it’s because I’m too judgmental of him drinking (true; I just don’t see the need to drink every night and so if he’s had a beer every night of the week I probably mention it to him) and so he goes and sneaks it. The pretty weird part about this is that it’s not actually a lot of alcohol — it’s really like 1-3 beers (always beer, always some fancy craft beer – not that it makes a difference, it’s just his favorite).

    Well, he did it again tonight, and I just got this feeling like, “wow — this is NEVER going to change.” He’s always going to be hiding moderate amounts of alcohol from me. The biggest part of me just doesn’t f$cking get it — WHY on earth does he do this????? I’m just wondering — if I overall love him and he’s a great dad, should this be a deal breaker? Part of me says yes because I hate liars — I know liars lie about everything, but this is really really the only thing he lies about. He would never cheat, we’re financially honest with each other, and he’s generally a really good guy.

    (Forgive me, this is too embarrassing to ask my friends about so I’m throwing it out to internet strangers.)

    • Honey Bear

      That would drive me crazy too, even if I knew it was the only thing my SO lied about. What does he say when you ask him about it? Like does he vow to never do it again, or does he say he’ll work on it?

      Also, why does it bother you that he drinks a beer or two every day? Assuming he’s been doing this for a while, he doesn’t even get buzzed off of one or two beers. What about his drinking bothers you?

      But to answer your question, I wouldn’t get a divorce over this, although it would make me question whether he would lie about other things as well. And FWIW, I’m not married.

      • Anon for this

        It sort of bothers me that he would be drinking by himself because I work a lot at night and so I don’t drink every night. Also, I can’t really say this to him, but he’s not skinny so drinking every night is extra calories he doesn’t need. And although I know it’s not an excuse, I am a little judgey about his drinking because after only a few beers even he gets moody, and we tend to fight over things we wouldn’t if he hadn’t been drinking. I can go weeks without drinking anything and he wants to drink a lot more often than I do.

        • Anon

          I posted another post but I wanted to comment here too. I could have written these posts. My ex was gaining weight due to extra calories and we would fight more due to the alcohol because it affected his moods. This is another red flag. You are 100% right to be concerned about this.

        • Former 3L

          Okay, at first I was like, well, obviously if you would lay off, then he would stop hiding it. But it sounds like there are valid reasons for being less than pleased about the frequent drinking (primarily the moodiness –> arguments, not so much the “I don’t drink that often, and therefore you shouldn’t either”), and if there are, those should be your primary focus (rather than the lying about it). As long as he thinks he’s justified in the drinking, and as long as he thinks you’re going to get unjustifiably irritated about it, he’s probably going to hide it. So the issue is that you need to explain to him and get across why you’re justified (cite the fighting, not the calories). If he can see what you mean about the moodiness, and promises to cut back but keeps sneaking them, then you have a bigger problem.

    • Anonymous

      This sounds like high functioning alcoholism.

      It is a very familiar tale, and I’m sorry for him and for you and for your daughter.

      If he feels like he has to sneak his drinking, and he has to have 1-3 beers a night no matter what, then that is a dependency issue. Others may disagree. I know people who *want* to have a glass of wine with dinner every thing. Not worrisome to me. Worrisome = an adult hiding beer in his house because he *needs* to have alcohol every night and he knows his spouse wouldn’t approve.

      • Anon for this

        Yeah, I really agree with you. That’s what’s really, really upsetting about this.

        • Anonymous

          This is Anonymous from 10:39 again. I’d encourage you to look into Al Anon meetings – it is helpful to get information and to talk and to listen to people who know exactly what you are going through.

          Also – and I’m not a mental health professional – but you might consider finding a new therapist. I’m really struggling to understand how someone suggested that the root of the problem was that you are too judgmental of his drinking. Whether or not he is drinking, or hiding it, is because of him – not you.

          Hugs to you.

    • Anon

      I went through this with my soon to be ex. I am a social drinker, he likes to drink socially AND to unwind. He also is not capable of having just 1 drink. He would hve 3+ beers or 3/4 to a full bottle of wine just about every night. I started finding empty bottles or wine bottles with a topper, but that were actually filled with water. He would put put vodka in a coffee mug, or wine, and hide it. My soon to be ex would deny it and say that it was MY problem,that I was the judgmental one. The (male) therapist said the same thing because the ex downplayed how much he was drinking. It is NOT NORMAL to drink by yourself on a regular basis. It is not normal to drink every night. It is not normal to rely on alcohol to unwind. The fact that he sneaks it indicates that he might be alcohol dependant. Most alcoholics do not sleep under a bridge. There are millions of functioning alcoholics out there and it is common practice for alcoholics to blame others for their behavior. Also, how do you know if he’s truly having 1 or 2. If he’s anything like my ex, he is downplaying it. FWIW, don’t be embarassed. I felt the same way, but I realized that I was not the one with the problem.

      • Anon

        I also wanted to add that my ex’s moods when he was drinking caused a lot of fights. These are all signs of alcoholism.

    • anon right now

      My husband had a similar thing going on. Thing was, he would go for fairly long stretches without drinking – but then he would start up again, and it would be every night. It never seemed like a lot on any one given night, but it added up. Also, it changed his personality – he didn’t necessarily get moody, but he’d get kind of mean – making fun of stuff in a way that was supposed to be funny but really wasn’t. He was extremely high-functioning, so much so that even I didn’t realize how bad it was (though it bugged me, and there were some notoriously bad nights – like the afternoon he spent drinking bourbon and coke before we were supposed to go to a friend’s house for dinner: he puked in the bathroom before we left; I asked if he was sure he wanted to go and he said yes, but then made me pull over on the way so he could puke again, and we ended up turning around and coming home. The next day, he couldn’t even remember puking the first time) (sorry if this is TMI).

      Finally one night he drank enough that he woke up the next morning with the shakes and unable to get out of bed. At that point he realized that this was a problem, and he quit cold turkey, and hasn’t had a drink since (it will be 10 years this August).

      So it’s a total cliche, but he really had to realize for himself that it was a problem, and make the choice to do something about it. The impact on me may have had some influence on him, but it really had to be something he did for himself. And unfortunately it is possible for someone with an alcohol problem who is very high functioning to minimize it even to the people he lives with. Even I didn’t realize it was as much of a problem as it was, even though it bothered me.

      I can’t say for you if it’s something to divorce over, but I could understand if it became that. It does seem a worrying sign that he feels he has to sneak the alcohol rather than just drink it in front of you – especially if the therapist has kind of validated him by saying you’re too judgmental (WTF?), but he still feels he has to sneak, that suggests to me it’s a much bigger deal to him that the amount would suggest. Anyway, good luck.

    • Anon for this

      Thanks for all of the comments. More than anything, I’m starting to feel like we’ve had sh$t therapists — he was initially referred to one that specializes in alcohol who told him it wasn’t alcohol related and so he only saw him like 3 times. Then our couples therapist (after he started drinking behind my back AGAIN) was the one who said that he feels judged (by me) and this is why he does it and that he probably would do it again. I don’t really know anything about this stuff, but the therapist telling him he’d do it again frustrated me because it seemed like he was just giving him an excuse to do it again.

    • Eponine

      I think it’s insane to have a problem with your husband having a single drink every night. I think his “problem” is akin to that of a woman who sneaks chocolate b/c her husband doesn’t like her to have dessert. I grew up with alcoholics, and believe me, one high-quality craft beer a night to relax is not alcoholism. You should relax and let him enjoy his evenings. If I were married to a crazy woman who tried to take away my favorite evening ritual, I’d sneak it too (and then I’d file for divorce, because who needs to be married to a crazy person).

      Sorry to be so harsh, but you sound like a controlling nag and you need a wake-up call.

      • MelD

        I couldn’t agree with you more. I am a nondrinker and see no problem with a person having one beer or glass of wine in the evenings. I don’t consider that to be “drinking by yourself” in the way other people mention. Some people just like wine or beer, and when it’s in moderation it’s just like having a piece of chocolate or some other treat. My guess is that if the OP stops being so judgy and controlling, the husband may actually cut back to only a few nights a week.

        • ElevenElle

          I totally agree with Eponine and MelD. I’d hate to hear what everyone would think of my husband who literally has well over 100 bottles of homebrew stashed throughout our apartment. He usually has 1-2 glasses a night (thus the ridiculous stash, he can’t drink it as fast as he brews it, lol). And I usually only drink a glass of wine a couple/few times a month. I also grew up with an alcoholic and do not think a single glass of beer or wine a day is alcoholism. That’s a hefty accusation to throw around. Stop hassling him so much.

      • AnonInfinity

        I so agree. I was reading the above comments and was shocked that no one had mentioned this yet. I know TONS of people who have 1-2 drinks every night. Honestly, if my spouse nagged me about wanting to have a beer and unwind, then I would hide it too if it was something I enjoyed.

        • AnonInfinity

          As an addendum — He doesn’t *need* to do it every night in the same way as an alcoholic, because you said that he’ll stop for long periods of time.

          • anon right now

            Guess what – alcoholics can, and do, stop for periods of time. Personal experience. It’s just that they always start again, and when they do, it’s a problem. (Starting again with no problem – not an alcoholic.)

          • AnonInfinity

            True. But they’ve been to more than one trained professional about this, and the therapists don’t seem to have indicated that he is an alcoholic. Presumably the OP even to them everything she’s told us, plus more. Of course he could have lied to them about his drinking habits, etc., but since their jobs are to smell b.s. (especially if they specalize in substance abuse), I think we should defer to them, here.

            “Alcoholic” is a very, very serious label to throw around, especially when talking about divorce/child custody issues.

            None of this is to minimize any experience that previous posters have had. Living with an alcoholic is horrible and they take many different forms. I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I just wanted to suggest that that’s not what’s going on in OP’s case (since she admitted that she is “judgey” about it, she nags him when he drinks at home, and is concerned about his calorie consumption).

      • eaopm3

        I agree with you Eponine. Maybe it’s from a skewed perspective, but H and I have at least one drink each night together, either with dinner, at happy hour with friends or later in the evening. I, too, come from a family of alcoholics – grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc. Neither of my parents are alcoholics, but I grew up in an environment where each night, my parents had drinks with dinner.
        It’s one of my favorite things to be able to get home and sit outside with our pups and have a great glass or two of wine. I actually asked H one night if he thought I had a drinking problem, because there was a time when he was working so late that he and I missed our evening time together and he looked at me like I was crazy.
        You may think the drinking is a problem, but it sounds to me like your judging is a problem. Just because you don’t enjoy a good beer every night doesn’t mean your H has a problem.

      • Em

        Agreed, and I wonder how much of this is about the ‘extra calories.’ Women getting on their husbands’ case about their weight isn’t really all that much better than the reverse.

      • anon right now

        So those of us who have had similar experiences with spouses who have alcohol problems – we’re just making shit up?

        The OP is the one living this experience. If it’s a problem for her, then it’s a problem. Sure, a lot of people can have a drink or 2 a night, no problem (my parents were the cocktail generation – they totally did this. Not an issue for me or anyone else). But there are people for whom having a drink or three every night can be a sign of a problem. I know – I live with one. In any case, I don’t at all see the point in being so harsh about your disagreement.

        • Anon

          There is a difference between a husband who has a problem with alcohol and is sneaking drinks and a husband who sneaks drinks because he has a wife who nags and judges him. None of us commenters can know which side of the line the situation is in real life and I don’t think any one was negating the very real impact of alcoholism. But to me, like several of the commenters above, this sounds like the latter. FWIW, my husband grew up in a basically dry family and I grew up in a French family and he nagged me about drinking. Once he stopped, I stopped. I didn’t realize how much it bothered me, and how much it was contributing the amount and way that I drank until he went cold turkey on the comments. Maybe try that and see how it goes?

          • anon right now

            None of us commenters can know which side of the line the situation is in real life.

            No, you’re right, we can’t. I don’t mean to claim that he definitely has an alcohol problem – just that it is a possibility, which some commenters seem to discount entirely.

            FWIW, for me the red flag is not so much the amount or even the hiding of alcohol, but the fact that when he drinks he gets moody and they fight. That’s not the people sitting around happily enjoying a beer or two in the evenings.

            Again, though, no, not saying he definitely is an alcoholic. Just disagreeing with some of the comments that seem to think that there’s no way it’s a problem and she just needs to get off his back already.

        • Ann

          One drink is not a problem, three drinks a night every night may be a problem. There are, in fact, established signs that indicate when someone’s drinking has become a problem. Here’s the list from the Mayo Clinic’s website:
          Alcoholism symptoms include:

          – Being unable to limit the amount of alcohol you drink
          – Feeling a strong need or compulsion to drink
          – Developing tolerance to alcohol so that you need an increasing amounts to feel its effects
          – Having legal problems or problems with relationships, employment or finances due to drinking
          – Drinking alone or in secret
          – Experiencing physical withdrawal symptoms — such as nausea, sweating and shaking — when you don’t drink
          – Not remembering conversations or commitments, sometimes referred to as “blacking out”
          – Making a ritual of having drinks at certain times and becoming annoyed when this ritual is disturbed or questioned
          – Losing interest in activities and hobbies that used to bring you pleasure
          – Irritability when your usual drinking time nears, especially if alcohol isn’t available
          – Keeping alcohol in unlikely places at home, at work or in your car
          – Gulping drinks, ordering doubles, becoming intoxicated intentionally to feel good or drinking to feel “normal”

          I see a couple of these signs in what the OP said about her husband; definitely the more innocuous ones. As I said, maybe the OP could change tactics – acknowledging the drinking but not nagging him about it – and see if the behavior changes.

          • Anon

            Yes, these are the signs and her H has several of them. It is very common for alcoholics to blame others for their behaviors. They don’t want anything to stand between them and the alcohol. Further, given the impact on his moods, I suspect he is having more than 1 beer.

          • Anon

            Please read this article on High Functioning Alcoholics:
            http://www.addiction-intervention.com/addiction/alcoholism/how-to-recognize-a-high-functioning-alcoholic/

            This one too – http://promises.com/promisesnews/articles/alcoholism/high-functioning-alcoholics-suffering-in-silence/

            Benton explains that people in positions of power are often the most difficult to detect because they usually are not closely supervised at work, they are assumed to be able to handle the pressure of their jobs, and they view drinking as a reward for their hard work. A further problem is that many high-functioning alcoholics do not meet the criteria for alcohol abuse: They have good jobs, they look presentable and professional, and they usually have no financial or legal problems.

            This is what Benton calls living a double life. High-functioning alcoholics appear to be normal, healthy individuals, and often conceal their problem by drinking alone or sneaking alcohol before or after social events. High-functioning alcoholics also may not be physically dependent on alcohol, as many can go days or weeks without suffering withdrawal symptoms. But they are psychologically dependent on it, becoming convinced that they need to drink in certain settings or constantly thinking about the next time they can drink.

            Benton shares several characteristics that can help identify a high-functioning alcoholic:

            1.) They have trouble controlling their alcohol intake, even after deciding that they will drink no more than a given amount [This is a big issue for my Ex]
            2.) They find themselves thinking obsessively about drinking—when and where and with whom they will drink next. [My Ex did this too – he HAD to drink to relax and was always prepping to drink. We always had alcohol in the house waiting for his evening ritual]
            3.) When they drink, they behave in ways that are uncharacteristic of their sober self. [My Ex was very nasty when drunk]
            4.) They experience blackouts, unable to remember what took place during a drinking bout. [I don’t know if he had blackouts]

      • anon

        I would agree with you, except for this: “because after only a few beers even he gets moody, and we tend to fight over things we wouldn’t if he hadn’t been drinking.”

        That sounds like a lot more than 1 beer a night. Or even 2. This guy is lying about how much he drinks. I think he might have a problem.

      • Ann

        I am glad someone else said this. My husband’s doctor actually ENCOURAGES him to have a glass of wine or a cocktail every night; that’s a standard recommendation for a lot of men. My husband generally has a beer when he gets home and then a glass of wine or a cocktail right before bed. He never gets drunk, and I mean never. I also grew up with some alcoholics in my extended family, and having one or two drinks every day, that do not result in impairment, is NOT alcoholism. My mom and dad have done that for 35 years and they are fit as fiddles at 60. I have never seen my parents drunk either. I was actually kind of aghast to see that some people really think having one drink a day is a big deal. Especially when it’s beer! If someone was drinking three martinis I would understand the concern. One beer a day is not cause for concern. I’d be more concerned about my husband drinking one SODA a day.

        I am not saying sneak-drinking is OK, any more than sneak-eating or sneak-smoking would be. But I kind of agree with the therapist that said the OP’s husband is probably doing this BECAUSE the OP is so uptight about it. After 15 years of marriage, let me tell you – you cannot change your spouse by nagging. Period. It just does not work. Since what the OP has been doing has not worked at all, I’ll make a suggestion that maybe it is time to change tactics. Once her husband doesn’t feel like Mommy isn’t regulating his drinking, he might do it less.

      • BB

        I have to agree. Maybe he gets moody and defensive because he’s being judged, and he knows you’re sitting there steaming because he is having a beer. Not a six-pack, but a beer. And maybe part of that is because he really knows you’re judging his weight and trying to manage his weight to your expectations, while using the so-called concern of alcoholism as your excuse. You’d be just as made if it was a nightly dessert. And he’d be sneaking around because he doesn’t like to feel judged.

        So. That said, neither of you are perfect. You clearly have issues that you BOTH need to work on. Don’t go to counseling expecting them to tell him to get in line. But go to counseling and stay in counseling until you both work through your issues. You have a small child to consider, and to me, this is NOT divorce-worthy. Neither your judgey, controlling behavior or his drinking and sneaking around. But you both have a lot of work to do.

      • Bonnie

        Agreed. I’ve dealt with many alcoholics and this does not sound like alcoholism to me. There is a vast difference between drinking a beer at the end of the day and drinking vodka in a coffee cup. He’s hiding the beer from you because you’re nagging him. I drink wine almost every night and when I’ve had a very stressful day, my husband greets me at the door with a glass. That certainly doesn’t make me an alcoholic.

    • K

      I’m a little surprised that this quickly degenerated into he’s right/she’s right. Those of us who have lived with lots of alcholism know it takes all forms and for some people 1-3 beers hidden around the house signals a problem while for others, that’s just how they live.

      Isn’t it possible to think the therapist was saying that she needed to be less judgmental if she wanted him to admit he had a problem? I’m not saying she should stay with him, only she can decide what she can take and I second everyone who suggested Al-Anon as a means of support to decide. But telling him not to drink every night isn’t going to get him to try and fix the problem if he is an alcoholic. Being supportive may get him into treatment and it may not. But judging him just means she’s in for more of the same. The current pattern of behavior is clearly untenable.

    • Anonymous

      I hide receipts and lie about how much really cost, it doesn’t mean I have a shopping problem it just means I don’t need the hassle of all that judgment.

    • Anonymous

      I’m late to the discussion, but just wanted to add that from my perspective, the real issue is that you have raised this concern and it doesn’t seem like your husband is working with you to address it. I actually raised something similar with my husband a few years ago (too much wine in the evenings), and he cut back. I don’t think he thought it was a problem (it probably wasn’t), but out of respect for me and my concern, he changed.

      To me, I would expect the response to be either (1) okay, I’m really not drinking too much, but I love you and will cut back because you have asked me to; or (2) I’ve tried cutting back (b/c I love you and will do it for you), but I’m having trouble and realize this may be an issue that I need to work on.

      I’m not saying that he should do everything your way, but this is obviously a serious concern for you and I think a spouse should be willing to compromise on issues that bother the other spouse enough that a counselor is involved.

      • Arachna

        I can see where you are coming from with this but if my husband even considered (briefly!) the thought of divorce based on my having a drink or two every night and being infuriating about it (lying) I would be shocked and devastated because it goes against everything I know about how he feels about me.

        I can’t imagine a decent marriage of 15 years where someone who loved their partner would consider divorce on these ground. It blows my mind.

        Not to mention that OP, despite therapists and common sense pointing to her cutting out all judgy comments in order to put a halt to the lying refuses to do so. (As far as I can tell – I could be wrong.)

        The situation is clearly a problem because of the lying and because it’s clearly really bothering the OP – my suggestion would be they try to work on those two aspects but the fact that she’s thinking about divorce over this makes me think she’s just falling/fallen out of love with her husband (which might come back, or not).

    • lawtalkinggirl

      The perpetually single girl’s perspective is that no, this is not a deal breaker. He sounds like an otherwise wonderful guy. It would make me sad to think you would consider divorcing this guy and being alone over 1-3 drinks per night. I imagine marriage to include forgiveness and compassion, not judgment. I have heard it is hard, but I know nothing of the reality of such matters…

  24. Taylor

    Threadjack, PSA: A woman named Mary who has fought against inane sex offender laws as they apply to children experimenting has passed away. There are so many mothers on this site that I have to pass this on. I pray for Mary and her family just as I pray for the young boys and girls who are on sex offender registeries across our nation due to crazy laws.

    http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

  25. anon

    Ok, so quick nail polish question:

    What is appropriate for hands in the office? I’ve been working at a very casual media office, so my trademark dark red nails are perhaps the least interesting office-wear statement. I get regular manicures and remove the nail polish once it becomes noticeably sloppy/chipped.

    However, I’m moving to NYC soon and seeking a new job, preferably with a more professional environment. For interviews, I will probably go with something very subtle, but does the beginning of my NYC stay mean the end of my darker nail colors?

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