Coffee Break: Convertible Nubuck Hobo
I like seeing the hobo again — they're big this year at The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. I also like how the strap on this Rebecca Minkoff bag doesn't feel like it needs to be detached; it's a nice, interesting piece if it's there or not, so you can convert it to a crossbody or use it as a regular hobo. It's $229 but will go up to $345 after the sale ends. Convertible Nubuck Hobo with Embroidered Strap
Here's a more affordable option.
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Sales of note for 12.5
- Nordstrom – Cyber Monday Deals Extended, up to 60% off thousands of new markdowns — great deals on Natori, Vince, Theory, Boss, Cole Haan, Tory Burch, Rothy's, and Weitzman, as well as gift ideas like Barefoot Dreams and Parachute — Dyson is new to sale, 16-23% off, and 3x points on beauty purchases.
- Ann Taylor – up to 50% off everything
- Banana Republic Factory – up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off
- Design Within Reach – 25% off sitewide (including reader-favorite office chairs Herman Miller Aeron and Sayl!) (sale extended)
- Eloquii – up to 60% off select styles
- J.Crew – 1200 styles from $20
- J.Crew Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off $100+
- Macy's – Extra 30% off the best brands and 15% off beauty
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
- Steelcase – 25% off sitewide, including reader-favorite office chairs Leap and Gesture (sale extended)
- Talbots – 40% off your entire purchase and free shipping $125+
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
https://lisamariefernandez.com/products/genevieve-khaki-seersucker-bikini-twin-set
I want to imagine that I will need a suit like this at some point in my life (or any of the other little gorgeous things on the LMF site). For when I become Jackie Collins and my office is a cabana that I write my books from? But it’s not a jacket I ever thought I’d see.
this isn’t a particularly eloquent addition to the conversation but: holy crap that’s gorgeous.
Why does this exist??
I don’t know but I weirdly love it too!
Man I am just not feeling this designer. Too many ruffles. Too girly.
Does anyone have a time zone conversion plugin for gmail that they like? I’m tired of sending scheduling emails and having to calculate the differences myself all the time, but I don’t want anything that would require going out of the email format.
oh man I would love this! I have so much trouble with the calendar when I travel. If you find one, will you post it? sadly I have nothing to offer…
Can anyone recommend their iphone case? Purely an aesthetics question :) Everything I’m finding on amazon feels either too junior high girl or too masculine…I’d love something that’s a little fun but I’d still feel ok bringing it out during a meeting.
No advice but following!
I currently have a clear one, so not fun, but Society6 has sooooo many cute ones.
+1
Or the checkout line at Rack…
I have a grey Silk card case. Masculine but holy g-d is the card slot helpful.
What size phone? I have a Speck case for a 6S that I bought on Amazon that I love.
Nordstrom always has tons of cases that go on sale all the time. I love Kate Spade ones but they’re probably a bit too twee for you. So cute though. Right now mine is a pink camel print!
Google: white cell phone case with gold medallion. Lots of pretty options if you look at the images.
Check out Rifle Paper Co.: https://riflepaperco.com/shop/phone-cases/
I adore my Native Union case. It’s navy blue rubber and walnut (real wood).
I love my leopard print iphone case from Sugar Paper.
I love my leopard print iphone case from Sugar Paper.
I love my leopard print iphone case from Sugar Paper.
Yay a-hole inconsiderate neighbors! Thanks to my Arlo cam, I now have lots of video evidence of my neighbor’s dog running loose and crapping in our yard. This has been an issue for the whole street/adjacent streets since the guy moved in, but I finally got fed up enough to obtain evidence. To be clear, he accompanies the dog which is off leash and watches it run through yards and crap in them — the dog is not an escapee.
Issue #2 (no pun intended) is that his dog charges ours when we walk past, on the opposite side of the street. It has not bitten, but is not friendly. Dude is unapologetic and ignores the whole situation. Dog is in no way under voice control and it’s illegal anyway to have a dog at large in our city.
I have contacted animal control and local law enforcement, and I’m pretty clear on next steps. Since I’ve chatted with several neighbors about the situation, I would like to post videos on Nextdoor with next steps as they’ve been spelled out to me by local animal control and police. Would you? Dude is not on Nextdoor. Thanks to powers of the internet, it was super easy to get his name and employer info.
I absolutely agree that he should have his dog on a leash and pick up after it, but I would hesitate to call animal control to come get the dog. Do you know for sure that they won’t put the dog down? It’s always been my understanding that that’s what they do when the pick up dogs people report as being out of control.
I don’t know what the laws are where the OP is, but unless the dog has actually bitten someone/another dog, it’s unlikely to get put down if it’s picked up for being loose. I would be surprised if AC would go to someone’s house and pick up a dog based on someone reporting the owner for violation of leash laws.
OP – what is the desired end result? The dude picks up his dog’s p o o and puts it on a leash? Depending on how likely it is that he will be aggressive and confrontational, my first step would be to go directly to him and tell him listen dude, I have video evidence of this. I don’t want this to be a bigger deal than it needs to be, so pick up your dog’s crap or we’ll report you for littering (is that even what the reportable offense would be here?). I would use the same approach for the leash law part. This sounds like a dude who probably DGAF about his dog all that much, which is sad, so he may not even care if you threaten AC on him.
Also, our shelter has to hold an animal for seven days before they can do anything with it if it’s picked up as a stray. I know that’s not exactly the case here, but I’m unclear what justification AC would have to pick up the dog if it hasn’t bitten anyone/anything.
I am super tired today, so apologies for the rambling!
In my city, if there are numerous complaints about a dog’s aggressive behavior it can be put down, even if it has not actually bitten anyone. I don’t think anyone puts dogs down because the owner has failed to pick up poo or is violating leash laws, but OP is complaining about the dog’s aggressiveness.
This is more what I was talking about — OP is complaining that the dog is aggressive and talking about AC. If AC picks him up for aggression once they might not put him down but eventually they will, is what I understand. I would strongly hesitate to involve them for this reason.
I’d rather an aggressive dog get put down than someone get hurt.
I don’t know if it’s really aggression. What happened to dogs being dogs? I think it’s just a really, really $hitty owner who hasn’t trained it’s dog.
I would NOT c all AC because this does not sound at all like Capital A Aggression. I would call AC to report owner. Most cities/towns have ordinances that will fine owners for not picking up after dogs or being off leash if there is otherwise a leash law.
Also, no. Don’t post it on next door.
In my locality they do not put down dogs that run or that have not bitten or harmed anyone. They aren’t even removed all the time, or most of the time. In my locality, if the dog were running at large (i.e. off leash off the owner’s property) then the human in question would be issued a summons to appear for a court case and face a fine. Subsequent convictions carry a heavier fine, and it’s not until the dog harms someone or you get to a third conviction that we start talking dog forfeiture.
Where do you live that animal control is like this? Anywhere I’ve lived it’s always been that they hold for a week then they send them to SPCA or other rescue group. Dogs are only put down if they have repeatedly attacked or bitten other animals or people and usually then only after a court order because people fight the notice that the animal will be put down.
OP: definitely call animal control anytime you see the dog off leash. Leash laws exist for a reason.
The goal isn’t to have the dog picked up by AC — like I said, the owner is present whenever the dog is, whether is it being “walked” through our yard, or if it runs across the street from his property. It is clearly more of an owner issue than a dog issue. That said, our dogs are 11 lbs and 18 lbs, they are docile, old and nearly toothless. It is his dog that is off leash and confrontational.
My completely reasonable expectations are that he leash his dog while walking it, confine it to his property when not, and pick up the dog poo. Btw, these aren’t just my expectations, these are city laws.
But that’s the point – they are city laws so the city’s job is to enforce. Call the city and complain whenever you see the violation and they will respond/ticket.
Speaking as the lawyer who handles (among other things) these complaints for a locality: Yes! Call and let us know! These are reasonable expectations, and you’ve tried talking to him about it.
I wouldn’t necessarily post a video or use his name on NextDoor, were it me, but that’s just my personal preference.
Right, but if the goal is to have the owner obey the law, the point I’m making is that involving the AC might not achieve that goal and might instead result in a dead dog. I agree with others who are recommending talking to the guy.
I probably would post, but loose dogs, especially within owner’s sight, make me stabby. Have you talked to the guy? IME, having a conversation rarely helps, but maybe your neighborhood can shame the owners into behaving?
Could the next step be to send him a letter signed by multiple neighbors letting him know there is a problem and that his behavior is not legal. ?
We had people on our street like that. At least they were renters. The dogs charged our stroller and things got ugly (but no bite occurred) but they (the owners) knew not to bother me after that. Almost threw a party when they moved.
I’m of the opinion that I try to deal directly with a bad situation (once and early) with the nicest and most sincere disposition I can muster. And if that doesn’t go well, I close with “I do not want to have to call the police some day about this and that is why I came by. I appreciate your position and now you know what I will do next time.” I have not had to follow through but I would in a heartbeat.
I think it’s helped that I look like a very tired mother with a young child (or my friend who is an EMT who works night and needs to sleep otherwise, not hear your subwoofer on max volume).
This guy sounds like a jerk for letting his dog go #2 on other people’s yards and not cleaning it up but your reaction also seems kind of extreme. Stalking him online to figure out his full name and employer? Jeez. I hope you’re not planning to contact his employer because that would be wildly inappropriate.
And +1 to Torin. If you keep complaining, animal control’s ultimate solution will be to put the dog down, particularly if the complaint is grounded in the dog’s aggressiveness (and it doesn’t sound unusually aggressive – tons of dogs are “not friendly” to other dogs, it doesn’t mean they should be put down). It sounds like the problem is really the owner, not the dog.
This is not true in my jurisdiction, re: “aggressive” dogs. If there has been no substantiated physical attack/bite, then there is no cause to put the dog down. The fact that a dog “charged” someone does not make it an aggressive dog under our statute. It’s a leash law violation, and forfeiture of the dog/euthanizing the dog are not remedies that are available for that.
Have you tried talking to him? You’re coming off as extraordinarily passive aggressive here.
Has anybody actually spoken to the neighbor yet? Because if not, you need to do that first. I wouldn’t volunteer the video evidence as long as he doesn’t dispute it when you tell him he needs to pick up after his dog and that he needs to leash it for everyone’s sake.
“Hi neighbor. I’ve noticed you haven’t been picking up after your dog and that he’s not leashed. Please take care of this”. If he says it wasn’t him, then tell him you saw it on video. After that point, if he still doesn’t cooperate, then you go to authorities, but I’m not sure what posting the video online will accomplish aside from escalating the situation.
… and if you end up tell him you have video, I would act like it was just your surveillance camera that happened to pick it up, not that you were specifically filming to find evidence of this.
+1
Usually people are much nicer and more reasonable once they get face to face with a neighbor. It’s much easier to let your dog run loose than it is to look your concerned neighbor in the eye and defend your behavior and insist you’ll keep doing it.
If you call animal control, or tell his employer, or petition the neighborhood, or show you have surveillance video of this person without simply talking to him first, you will NEVER have a good relationship with this neighbor and everything will be 100% more difficult. You may wind up harming your relationship with your other neighbors, who probably think your reaction is a bit intense.
you sound like a lovely person
as opposed to the guy not picking up after his aggressive off leash dog?
I think that we just don’t want this to start spiraling. You get one bite at the apple to get this right otherwise, you’re not the most offending party, but it will just go bad and get worse.
Haha, I am fairly horrible. I pick up after my dogs and would not even walk them on leash if they were aggressive. The travesty. Clearly, I am a blight on the neighborhood.
I don’t even know what NextDoor is but no don’t post video there. Just call the city and report it.
Yeah, I don’t have any idea what NextDoor is and I’m in a major metro area. Wouldn’t bother me if you post the video there – I won’t ever see it! I’d run all of this through your local law enforcement, not some vigilante approach.
So that sucks and I would hate if there was dog sh*t in my yard. That said, what is posting it on the internet going to do? rile up the internet folk? You seem to be trying to go about this as dramatically as possible. Tell him to stop. see what his reaction is. tell him you have it on video if you get an objection.
I’ve been avoiding the NAS (aka working) due to the blah comments this morning, but I like this: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/vince-camuto-jumpsuit-regular-petite/4610443?fashioncolor=BLACK&origin=category-personalizedsort&cm_mmc=Linkshare-_-partner-_-15-_-1&siteId=QFGLnEolOWg-YPiJK7_K5_SvJx7murOwYQ Not for work, obviously.
Did you just steal that from me??? Ha. I had no success checking out for hours and hours and then when I finally did, they said that piece had sold out. It was the one thing I really wanted. Argh.
I didn’t buy it! It’s gone now? #regrets NAS is turning out to be just as disappointing as Prime Day.
I had a horrible time checking out. Took 5-6 tries and I couldn’t get through on the phone or chat to get help. I ordered flats and wedges and a sweater. Don’t know what I’ll keep, if anything.
Posting this here because I don’t know where else to turn.
My boyfriend of about 2 years and I have been living together for about a year. When we first started dating, and for the first 8ish months of living together, our s*x life was both frequent and satisfying. A few months back the frequency fell off what felt like kind of suddenly and his performance became more erratic. We went from a couple of times a week to once a month, and then he stopped getting off at all. At first I worried that he was losing interest and thought maybe he was taking care of any urges himself. Then about a month ago, after the last time this happened, he started crying and said he thinks something is wrong because he’s having difficulty getting and staying hard. I held him for a long time, told him how much I loved him and suggested that he if thought something was wrong he should go see a doctor. He agreed that that sounded like a good idea.
Then we were out of town for vacation, and since getting back he’s been slammed with work. I’ve asked, once, if he had made a doctor appointment and he brushed it off. I feel so paralyzed about how to approach this subject with him. I care about him and want him to be well. If there’s something medically wrong (and it does seem like there might be) he’s not going to even know what it is until/unless he goes to a doctor. But he clearly finds it deeply upsetting that things aren’t working properly in that department at the moment and I think he’s avoiding going to a doctor because he doesn’t want to think or talk about it. Also, while the not having s*x part is really not super fun for me, I don’t want to make him going to the doctor or not about me. It feels like nagging him about this is different than nagging him about other things I nag him about (e.g. did you sign yourself up for that race we wanted to do together yet? they’re going to run out of spots, you need to get on it!). I guess I feel like nagging him implies that I’m upset with him for his d*ck not really working properly at the moment, and I’m NOT, but it is a problem and I want him to support him and help him figure it out.
Has anyone dealt with anything similar? Any advice? Suggestions on how to approach this?
How about “BF, I’m worried about you. You’re young and healthy and this has come on pretty suddenly. Would you be willing to go in for some blood tests? This can by a symptom of circulatory problems and it would to get checked out.” I don’t want to google this at work but I recall that either hypertension or high cholesterol can cause this issue. I’d try to normalize it and reassure him that the first step isn’t a giant probe.
Both hypertension and high cholesterol can cause it, as well as heart disease. If it’s come on suddenly, you should really urge him to go to the doctor. If you don’t want to talk about this issue specifically you can just urge him to get a physical. Most men don’t visit the doctor nearly as often as they should.
+1. Also, does he tend to put off other things like making appointments? I fully make appointments for my DH and go with him to said appointments. (I also did this when we started dating and he had like 20 cavities.)
He put off going to the dentist for years until he needed a root canal so … yes he puts off doctor appointments in general.
Yup, then I would make the appt with him and go with him.
+1 focus on the hypertension/heart attacks in young men angle. If he’s super stressed at work that could be causing hypertension which could in turn cause the problem.
So, to deal with the stigma it might help to remind him that all couples have interruptions to their s life. If he’d broken his leg you wouldn’t be getting busy, but he wouldn’t hesitate to get medical help. (I’m commenting on this a lot, because, like Anonymous 451, I’ve dealt with something similar in my personal life and know how very, very difficult it can be to talk about it because of the shame men feel with something like this happens).
Would you mind sharing what the issue was?
I’m in my early 30’s, but this has been my first long-term relationship and I’ve never dealt with anything like this before. I feel like statistically it must be the case that some of my friends who have been married for 5 or 10 years must have but I don’t really want to start asking people “Hey, has your husband ever had ED? What was that like for you?” I don’t want to be nosy so no need to share if you don’t want to, but I’m interested if you’re willing to.
It was low testosterone. It probably existed before I met DH but, at the time, he was on a different medication (SSRI) with a known libido-killing effect and so and been concurrently prescribed Viagra (he successfully hid the Viagra from me for the first several months of our relationship because of the stigma). About a year into our marriage he went off both the SSRI and the Viagra. At first I thought his depression had returned because of the drop off in our s life. Low testosterone is diagnosed with a simple blood test, but it’s rough on the ego to hear it (in your mid-30s). DH had probably had it for years but believed ED was a side effect of depression, and then SSRIs. The good news is that treatment is a simple topical testosterone treatment and is (in his case) effective. Good luck!
I, like him, am kinda terrible at making doctor’s appointments. It’s an issue I know I need to work on. It helps that for some concerns, I can send her a message through this patient portal, and if she says “I want you to come in ” that does help motivate me to pick up a phone and make the appointment.
Definitely make it clear you’re worried about his health, not your garden parties, and while you know it can be tough getting to the doctor, you don’t want to see him neglect his health because things could get a lot worse.
Also, don’t make the appointment for him, his health is his responsibility, you really don’t want to set up a dynamic where he depends on you for these things and can’t do it himself, unless he becomes so sick he actually can’t.
zocdoc is great for making an appointment without discussing your health with a receptionist.
As far as how to bring it up, I’d chose a non-sexy, relaxed moment. Do you need anything checked out yourself? Maybe talk about that and segue into him going to the MD. Also, if eye contact is too intense you can bring it up in the car so you don’t have to look at each other. This kind of conversation is so person-specific that I hesitate to recommend anything in particular, except that you bite the bullet and have the conversation. If your BF is like my DH he will be waiting for you to bring it up again. It’s like he needs permission to take care of himself.
I would caution the car just because once the conversation ends there is no escape. It’s likely to be a bit awkward and I know I would want to have a few minutes to myself after something like that. Maybe if its brought up right at the end of a drive when you will be home as soon as the topic is done.
My boyfriend has post-SSRI sexual dysfunction. It’s been a long road. It looks to be permanent for him. Another good place to look on the Internet is No-Fap communities if he uses a lot of p0rn.
The doctor will probably recommend Viagra. My boyfriend’s doctor prescribed the generic heart medication version so BF could gradually increase the dosage. Viagra helps a little. There is a good 45-90 minute lag before it starts working and he’ll need a good amount to stimulation. Viagra can cause bad headaches so it ultimately didn’t work for BF.
Many guys start psyching themselves out of an erection if they have trouble. It’s literally all in their head. They think they can’t so nothing happens and they get further discouraged. It’s this horrible self-perpetuating cycle.
Dan Savage has had a few columns about what female partners can do. I don’t to dig them up, so here’s a hybrid of what he said and what I’ve learned.
First, redefine sex. Redefine it to include everything that doesn’t require an erect penis. Do not expect erections or be disappointed when they don’t happen. Find other ways for him to satisfy you and continue to value his pleasure. Remind him that you are attracted to him and still crave physical intimacy.
Second, don’t make a big deal or track when he does(n’t) get an erection. If I am going down on him and he happens to get hard, I don’t say anything. At most, I’ll signal that I need a break at let him take over for a while. He’s usually pleasantly surprised.
Third, if he does get hard, don’t move on to PIV. It can be really hard for a guy to maintain during PIV. Until he feels comfortable and is no longer in his mind, PIV is off the table. It might take 1 or 2 days. It might take 1 or 2 years. Yeah, seriously.
Good luck!
Thanks all. I think I need to just bite the bullet and have an awkward conversation with him, with emphasis on this not being about me wanting more s*x, but about making sure he’s healthy. This could be a symptom of something else being wrong, and it’s better to know.
I’m totally in a rut and heading to tbt grocery store tonight! Looking for healthy and quick dinner or lunch ideas. Ideally things that don’t need 27 random ingredients. Thank you!
I made this with roasted potatoes last night and it was really good:
http://memoriediangelina.com/2015/10/09/peas-and-eggs/#.WWfNSoTyuUk
I added garlic and red pepper. Also, I used frozen peas and added a half cup of water cause I didn’t have canned peas.
Shredded chicken, franks hot sauce, cream cheese, spinach, tortilla (optional)
Makes tasty buffalo chicken wrap or salad. Mix franks and cream cheese together into a thick sauce (microwaving to warm helps), add chicken, serve in wrap or on salad. Super easy and reasonably healthy. Very quick.
Oh, I just made this last night, and it was a big hit. Picky husband loved it, 4 year old loved it, and it was super-easy: http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/3-ingredient-orecchiette-with-sausage-and-fennel
We used spicy Italian sausage (3 links) and a full pound of orecchiette, and it was really good.
We like these, I skip the yogurt topping and just add mozzarella cheese instead.
http://www.cookinglight.com/recipes/bbq-chicken-and-black-bean-tacos
After eating clean(er) for a while I’ve noticed that while a lot of processed food that I used to like now tastes horrible to me, there are other things that I think I will always love, chemicals and all. I rarely eat these things, but when I do, I have no interest in trying to eat a healthier or more natural version. Give me the original and I’ll repent later.
What are your ride-or-die guilty pleasure processed junk food splurges?
For me it’s sour cream and onion Lay’s, Lofthouse frosted sugar cookies, and Lucky Charms.
Cool ranch Doritos!
Oreos (the firecracker ones with pop rocks are so good)
Crunchy Cheetoes, always and forever.
FLAMING HOT CHEETOS 4 LIFE
Duke’s Mayo. Like, on everything and anything (h#ll, just a spoon!)
Yes Lucky Charms and only eating the marshmallows b/c I’m a grownup and I do what I want! Also Cheetos. On a related note: hubs is doing IF and so I bought him some fancy cheese as a splurge/treat. He said it tastes like vomit. I tasted it. It tastes normal to me. Bodies are weird sometimes.
what kind of cheese? Cheeses can taste like vom to some people depending on how much butyric acid is present. Guess where else you can find butyric acid.
I got some type of “fancy” cheddar they were featuring at the grocery store this weekend. I never would have thought of that but it’s good to know! Is it on the ingredients label or just a chemical reaction? I’ll try to look out for that. He did comment that the “cheap” cheddar I got tastes normal. Saves me some $$ I guess!
I’m no chemist, but I believe it has to do with the enzymes used to make cheese. I find that cost doesn’t really make the difference- it depends on the type of cheese. I’m really sensitive to this (and all smells/tastes- thankfully most colognes/perfumes don’t bother me unlike many posters here, but I can tell if specific people have been in a building by the smell), so when I buy cheese I usually pass if the ingredient list proudly features rennet (which is a stomach enzyme). Usually correlates.
Similarly, lots of cheese (ex. brie) smells like ammonia to me because…the bacteria produce ammonia. To me it smells like vomit/really strong cleaner.
Childhood throwback but white bread, butter, French’s mustard and bologna sandwich.
Cool ranch and spicy sweet doritos.
Girl Scout cookies. Specifically the Caramel Delites.
Lay’s french onion dip and ruffles potato chips. That combo is my holy grail. I haven’t had it in years because I know if I start again I’ll be doomed.
Also cheese puffs and hormel pepperonis. When I was younger, little debbie oatmeal cream pies. One day in college someone told me they don’t taste like oatmeal (duh) but the power of suggestion instantly vanished for me and they’ve never tasted the same again.
I think you may have just ruined my life with the oatmeal cream pie revelation….
…. better pick some up on the way home to be sure! :)
REPORT BACK.
Maybe they’ve changed the formula since then!?!
“Lay’s french onion dip and ruffles potato chips. That combo is my holy grail. I haven’t had it in years because I know if I start again I’ll be doomed.”
I think I could eat this every day of my life.
Around a campfire, s’mores. I don’t even like milk chocolate that much (I prefer dark), and I don’t like marshmallows on their own _at all_. But plonk me down in front of a campfire where people are making s’mores, and I go to town.
Try a s’more with Ghiradelli dark chocolate squares and you’ll be in real trouble. Ask me how I know….
Despite being a die-hard health food lover, I have a wekaness for Cheez-Its, especially the Extra Toasty variety.
Nutella. Straight from the jar.
Duncan Hines yellow cake from the boxed mix. Childhood synapses thing….
All of the chips. There is a limited edition Cheetos bag out with different flavors all in one bag – nacho cheese, regular cheddar, and parmesan!
This is stupid, but true. When I am spending a lot of money (like right now – we bought a house and are prepping our current one for sale, so there is just a lot of money sailing out right now) I get very stressed and spend MORE money – like on clothes or on going out to lunch or things that aren’t essential. Any suggestions for just slowing my roll and being more zen about all this? I’m talking total practical suggestions like – buy a loaf of bread and PBJ for work so I make sandwiches every day for a week instead of eating out. Getting $X cash and that’s all I spend on absolutely anything for a week. I feel like I need something to stop me in my tracks and take deep breaths.
I’ve started doing at least one day a week when I don’t spend any money. Pick a day, plan ahead a little if needed (i.e., grocery shop, pack a lunch), and do not spend one. single dime. When I started I though I’d end up spending more the day before to prepare, but I really don’t. It’s shown me that I can go without a lot of the little unnecessary expenses that I accumulate during the day, from forgoing mid-morning Starbucks to stopping by Target on the way home to pick up 2-3 things (which we all know becomes 12-20 things).
I’ve done the (sort of) reverse of this where I only allow myself to spend money once a week so I have to think over purchases.
I meant one day per week, not once a week.
I can empathize. For things like clothes, make yourself wait a week to evaluate the purchase. I find that the “need” usually dies down by then. Also, I open up my credit card statements / bank accounts and look at those numbers and ask if I really need it. For lunch, I like to package up my breakfast + lunch the evening before. This way I literally don’t have to think about it in the morning. Then if I feel like I want to buy lunch I tell myself that I’m literally wasting my time and money.
I sometimes hide my credit card in one of the inner pockets of my wallet that’s really hard to get to, the extra effort in pulling it out gives me a couple seconds to actually think before I spend.
Hi, are you me? I think it’s easy to have happen once you start spending (esp. on something big like a house) because then all of the sudden even $200 as the NAS sale doesn’t seem like much in comparison. I know I just overdid it between Prime Day, the NAS sale, and a few other things in my own life (a big furniture purchase, among other things). I am starting a complete shopping ban as of tomorrow. I did it for lent and it was great. I kept a list of what I wanted when I saw it in the notes section on my phone. TBH, when lent ended, I went back and bought several of the things on that list. But I figured I’d been thinking about them for several weeks at that point, so I definitely wanted them. All the impulse buys stopped though.
I do this too. I went through 6 months of unemployment last year, and it actually became really easy not to spend (much) money when I got in the habit. But once I buy one thing, it’s harder to stop.
One thing that helps me is to plan without spending. I research vacations we’re already planning to take. I browse and add books to my TBR list at the library. I plan out a new running route or look into a new exercise routine. I look for free or cheap things to do on the weekend in my city.
Oh man, thank you everyone. I definitely feel like it’s breaking the habit – so cold turkey is a good short term solution. I’m also really glad to hear that other people have experienced similar things and I’m not some crazy person!