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Whenever I'm in SoHo, one of my favorite spots to visit and drool is Dinosaur Designs. The designers work in resin for jewerly and housewares, and their products are always full of color and swirls. (If you like big clanky bangles, this is your spot — but I wouldn't recommend those for the office.) I've gotten a few earrings and vases over the years and I still treasure them.
These polished brass dew drop earrings look amazing — I love the bold color along with the shiny top, and I think they'd look great against all colors of hair. They're $245 at DinosaurDesigns.com.
(I'm curious — does anyone think these earrings are too long to be appropriate for the office? If they had more movement (plus the length and shine factor) I would think they were better for casual offices, but the fact that the earrings are fixed on their hooks make them acceptable for me. Maybe this is a Kat-only distinction, though?)
Hunting for something similar but less expensive? Etsy has a lot of options that might fit the bill: $27 carnelian, $36 carnelian, $18 orange glass, or $13 resin.
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Sales of note for 9.16.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles
- J.Crew Factory – (ends 9/16 PM): 40% off everything + extra 70% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Extra 25% off all tops + markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Anon
I don’t have pierced ears, but these are gorgeous.
Anon
And yet, I’m getting a whiff of the little food color droppers that I used for coloring Easter eggs back in the day. Which is a plus in my book.
Anon
+1 !
Girlonawireless
They don’t offer them in this style, but Dinosaur offers plenty of options in clip ons.
Anonymous
For those who know Western Europe well/have traveled there a lot, is there a time where the summer travel season ends/slows down where certain cities are “quieter”? DH and I are thinking of doing a trip in Sept, probably a week after Labor Day. From the US perspective travel tends to slow then as the latest school calendars [east coast usually] have kids back in school then so families don’t travel. We’d be interested a trip to say Milan/Rome; Amsterdam; Zurich; OR Paris – just a week in one of those places. Any chance any of those places would be quiet in Sept?
A lot of this is covid dependent as we’re still very covid cautious. But it looks like both of us may be switching jobs at the end of the summer, giving us a few weeks in between jobs. We want to take advantage of that time off because we’ll both be busy in new jobs/impressing new people for a long time + we haven’t had a vacation since year end 2019, out of covid caution. Now it looks like covid is here to stay and we agree that we’d both be ok masking with kn95s even if others don’t on the flight and mostly doing outdoor sightseeing things at our destination. DH’s other “request” is to try to find a place that won’t be packed as it would be in say August even if it means going to a smaller city rather than Paris or Rome; we’re both architecture people so we’re really just looking for a trip where we can walk around pretty places, mask up if we want to see something indoors, get coffee and stroll, and just recharge for a week while taking precautions like takeout if we don’t want to eat indoors.
Cat
Western Europe is a little quieter, tourist-wise, in early September than over the summer, as obviously most families are home and starting school then. That said, it’s not like you’re going to have Versailles to yourself – it will still be crowded. When we went to Paris in September there were still plenty of all-adult tour groups wielding selfie sticks.
NYCer
+1. I would expect all of the cities OP listed to be fairly crowded still in September, though less crowded than summer if that makes sense. Zurich would likely be the quietest.
Anonymous
Yes everywhere in Western Europe is quieter in September than august.
Anon
Yes Europe is a lot quieter in September vs August or even June or July.
Anonymous
September will be quieter than August for sure. Schools tend to start back a little later than American schools so September 12th will be the first week back to school for many places.
Girlonawireless
+1 Pretty much all of Germany and France are on vacation in August, and that may be true of other European countries as well. A Parisian friend told me that Paris has more tourists than Parisians in August. She graciously showed me around Paris for a whirlwind couple of days in August before we went to visit her family in central France for three weeks. Because, yes, she was on vacation for most of August, and I was on vacation from my job in Germany as well.
Anon
Yes Paris in August is awful. All tourists, no Parisians and it’s hot and humid to boot. I avoid Europe generally in August but Paris is particularly bad.
Anonymous
If you like architecture – I recommend the Vorarlberg area of Austria. The city of Bregenz on Lake Constance and into the mountains. Great connectivity by train from Zurich and they really care about good architecture. DH was astounded when he moved to Canada and discovered that everyone’s house is not personally designed by an architect to fit into the surroundings and be pleasing to the eye.
Anonymous
And Konstanz. I spent some time there working and loved the town and the area.
Cat
oh, specific suggestion, Greece is amazing in September, and if you’re in the islands basically everything you’d want to do is outdoors or open-air anyway.
Anon
Italy also has a ton of outdoor dining and things to do.
Anon
Smaller cities in Italy are also really, really worth seeing (Siena, Orvieto, Palestrina), even as compared to Milan or Rome.
Anon
If you only want to do outdoor stuff I would recommend the Amalfi coast or Liguria (Cinque Terre). I love Rome and Florence but they both have great museums it would be a shame to miss.
WannaTravelAgain
+ Cortona
Anon
This is true of pretty much any coastal/island region in Europe, not just Greece. We’re going to Mallorca next month and everything we want to do is outside except touring the cathedral in Palma (which it turns out we can’t do anyway because our only day there is Sunday when it’s closed to the public). Outdoor dining is everywhere. Both our hotels even serve breakfast outside on a terrace.
Senior Attorney
We just got back from Belgium/Netherlands and we were blown away by the fairy-tale architecture in Bruges, Ghent, and other Belgian cities. Also lots of outdoor dining. (If you do end up in Bruges, highly recommend a photo walking tour with Andy: https://phototourbrugge.com/ )
Anon
Ugh I let my husband talk me out of a Belgium trip this summer and this comment makes me wish I’d stood my ground.
Senior Attorney
We had low expectations and we ended up loving it. Try again!!
Anon
We already booked a different trip, but maybe next summer.
Anonymous
My guess is that Zurich and Milan would be the least crowded of the cities you list, as they are working cities – both financial hubs; sure they draw tourists overall but not in nearly in the same number as Paris or Rome. So I’d imagine they’d be even quieter in Sept. once US and European schools are open, as you’re not going to get as many families [though there are always adult tour groups].
Anon
Just a heads up that European cities are densely populated and many European cultures don’t have as much respect for personal space as Americans do, so it can feel crowded even when tourist crowds are low. We were in Florence in March, which is very much low season (much lower than September), and my husband and I kept remarking on how crowded it was and how close people regularly got to us. If you live in NYC this probably won’t come as a big adjustment, but it was a big shock to us coming from the suburban Midwest where we basically never get within 10 feet of another person unless we’re socializing with them. And yes, major tourist attractions will be mobbed with tourists even in the low season (the David was wall to wall bodies, unlike anything I’ve experienced since before the pandemic). That said, we had a wonderful time and did not get Covid and I’m glad we went. But it was a bit of culture shock, moreso given how isolated we’ve been the last two years.
SFBay
I’ve been to Europe just after Labor Day a couple of times and found that it was very (!!!) rainy in some locations. It might be worth looking into the likelihood of rain at that time of year in the locations you’re considering as well making sure there are things you’d enjoy doing if it’s quite rainy.
Anon
Yes… When I was in Rome in mid-September, I was prepared for “rainy” but not for “deluge.” It felt more like a deluge.
London Open Houses!
There is a great yearly architecture festival in London each September. This year the dates are Thursday 8th to Wednesday 21th September.
The programme isn’t ready yet, but there’s normally lots of events and possibilities to get tickets to tour buildings and structures not usually available to the public.
There is also Open House Vienna in mid September, Open House Oslo late September, and more!
Check out open house world wide dot com.
Cb
Ooh thanks for this. We miss Doors Open in our city every year and this has inspired me to add it to the diary now.
Anon
Reposting to get more responses – How should I prepare for this meeting? Former supervisor left my company last year, and posted a new role at her new company that I’m interested in. We quickly connected a few weeks ago, and she let me know she has a separation agreement and wouldn’t be able to hire anyone for a couple months still – and that we should keep in touch. She’s since asked me to grab coffee with her next week. Should I be treating this as an informal interview? What questions would you be prepared to answer?
Anonymous
It’s just a conversation. I wouldn’t prepare anything.
Anon
If you already know this person, don’t overthink it. Go in prepared to have a nice conversation and talk about your current situation and maybe share some things about your future goals. Keep it simple and friendly. This isn’t a job interview so there’s no need to prepare yourself like it is.
Anon
I’d be more focused on preparing questions to ask.
Annony
You never know. I’d prepare.
– answer to “how have you been/what’s new?” A recent project or meeting that might highlight some skills or areas where you’ve grown since she worked with you
– quick cruise through any news about her/the new company (“I saw Company X is doing y …”) or have some kind of industry news in your back pocket
– and of course, why you’re open to a new role
Anonymous
What are your go-to snacks for sweet and savory?
Mine (protein-heavy dieter) are: sweet – protein yogurt (FFGY + protein powder), protein bar, Fairlife shake, 1-2 Tootsie roll midges, or piece of toast with jam.
Savory – airpopped popcorn with TJ dill seasoning, Quest chips, crackers or pork rinds with hummus, or a slice of toast or mini-bagel.
pugsnbourbon
Savory – cheez-its. Or carrots and peanut butter.
Sweet: whole-wheat toast with peanut butter and a small dab of nutella.
Vicky Austin
Sweet: apples and pb, any fruit really, chocolate, homemade granola.
Savory: popcorn with white cheddar seasoning salt and black pepper (this combo is godlike), cheese and crackers, carrots and hummus (I’ve been swirling EBTB into my hummus lately and it’s delicious).
Anon
Savory: pistachios
Sweet: chocolate or fruit
IL
Sweet: fruit, yogurt, chocolate coated nuts, an unsweetened latte
Savory: cheese by itself or with crackers, tortilla chips and salsa, a slice of toast with butter, a mug of Lipton’s Noodle Soup
Anonymous
Savory: roast beef slice; hard-boiled egg; tinned fish in oil; 4% cottage cheese with pepper; popcorn (cooked in coconut oil and salted, spiced, or with nutritional yeast); Cheez-Its
Sweet: Siggi’s yogurt, possibly with some coconut and/or nuts
Anon
If I’m being honest?
Sweet: Cookies
Savory: Chips or microwave popcorn
:)
Anonymous
Sweet: a mini Kind bar (100 cals)
Savory: hard boiled egg, string cheese, mixed nuts
Anonymous
Savoury: cheese, olives, hard-boiled egg, avocado, hummus & carrot, black bean and feta salad, popcorn, nuts, Greek (10 percent fat) yogurt with olive oil, caprese salad.
Sweet:
Greek yogurt with blueberries or similar, milk chocolate, chia pudding.
Anon
Advice for dealing with friends / salary competitiveness? One of my friends is hyper-focused on money. She recently got promoted and is now making “more than she can believe” (probably between 200k-300k at age 25.) Our other roommate just got a new job and went from making around 80k to probably closer to 150-200k+. The first roommate really REALLY wanted to know her salary and kept talking about it to me – she asked gently and didn’t receive a response from Roommate #2, so wound up Googling it instead. I tried to make as clear with nonverbal cues as possible that I didn’t want to know so that she wouldn’t tell me, but she kept dropping hints about her own salary being HUGE and UNFATHOMABLE. Both of them work in tech, which I have no interest of going into.
I make about 170k in a job I love but I feel like I’m falling behind as their salaries go up, especially with Roommate #1 continuously talking about it. She wants to retire in her thirties, so I get why she focuses on it, but I still feel perpetually behind and stressed about the conversations. We also have a fourth roommate who makes around $70k at a nonprofit, and it just feels weird that there is such a wide gap and yet also sky-high salaries all around us.
Anyone know how to deal with this? Do you just tune it out?
Vicky Austin
Frankly, yes. I find the FIRE-type crowd exhausting and usually just nod along.
Vicky Austin
You can also just say, “Jane, I’m really happy that you’re feeling so good about your career and goals, but I don’t find talking about money to be fun. What are you reading lately?”
OP
Is this a common thing??? It’s caught me so off guard. Ever since she adopted the FIRE thing, she’s been (if I’m being honest) absolutely exhausting around money. Hyper-anxious about ever spending, splitting every cent on a bill and constantly trying to pay as little as possible, AND constantly bragging about how much she makes / fixating on other people’s salary.
Does this usually fade out after a certain point? I don’t hold money as a core value, but I grew up low-income and still get anxious ever feeling behind when it comes to finances.
Vicky Austin
Idk about common, but it’s definitely a Thing! Not sure if it will expire or fade out, but I’d genuinely just be straight with her, especially if money talk makes you anxious.
anonshmanon
There is a chance that it fades out, I went through a phase like that and toyed with the FIRE idea. Maybe she’ll fall off the bandwagon again!
anon
In my experience, the vast majority of FIRE people are like the vast majority of fad dieters. They get really obsessed, it’s exhausting to hear about it all the time, and then they flame out. Of course, there are exceptions, where people really succeed with their goals in the long run and remain devoted followers, and others where people pick up a few good tips but have a balanced, long-term approach.
Anon
I’m FIRE, but nobody knows it. My salary is about $60k and I wouldn’t dream of talking about money, investments or net worth unless it was with people I knew very well and probably not then. Maybe it’s different among people of higher SES, but nothing good comes out of anyone knowing I’ve been lucky, careful and managed to save a bit of money. I’ve been broke and don’t have family to back me up, so being financially independent is important. I don’t want to work 2 jobs, living in the trailerhood again.
Anon
Same experience here. It’s like the people who go vegan and immediately get really militant about it, or start some new workout program that they have to evangelize about. The obsession fades in a few months – or if it doesn’t, I’m not FIRE-y enough, vegan enough, or dedicated enough to continue listening to them and they go find other friends who are. And then sometimes years later they circle back around when they burn out at that point.
I’ve found myself in a position several times where people get really super-obsessed with something and I just kind of slow-fade out for awhile because being around them is exhausting and no fun. The last instance was when one of my friends got really into this true-crime story and it was all she wanted to talk about. When they snap out of it, they get back in touch and we kind of pick up where we left off. Distance and letting people have space to pursue their monomania for a little while can be good.
Anon
What do they do in tech? I am foundering in my job and now I think I need to switch to do whatever pays you 200-300K in your 20s.
OP
software engineering or hardware engineering! you could also go into marketing or sales, though that is a lower salary range earlier in your career (still inflated).
Anonymous
Yeah, honestly, 300k at 25 is impressive. Not sure if she has an advanced degree or not, but tell her to enjoy it! And save. That number is super impressive. If she likes her job, she is in a very good spot right now. None of those facts change—and hopefully neither does how proud she is of herself—based on someone else’s salary. Nice to see younger women taking what’s on the table and going after those high paying jobs!
Anon
OMG same!
Anon
Wow, as someone in tech, this seems high, even for a talented junior developer, but maybe I’m off? Or this includes a bonus and a generous equity package?
Anonymous
“Katie I’m so happy for you but I don’t want to talk about your salary, my salary, or anyone else’s.”
OP
Definitely going to try this out. Am worried she’ll get prickly or feel like “oh you’re just jealous,” but at this point I think it’s better than just nodding along.
Anonymous
Who cares? Right now you’re uncomfortable. If she gets prickly oh well. A great thing to learn in your 20s is that pleasing unreasonable people is not your job.
anon
She might get prickly or think you’re just jealous. That’s okay. But if you don’t set this boundary, then YOU’RE going to get prickly, and even more uncomfortable than you already are. That’s not great for your relationship either. Take it from someone who didn’t realize she needed to set boundaries with her friends until her 30s and instead just tried to deal with it in a “non-confrontational” way and just became resentful. Not good.
Senior Attorney
You don’t have to have a conversation you find uncomfortable. If that makes her uncomfortable, that’s on her.
No Face
This. You have to use your words. If you set a reasonable boundary and get a huge negative reaction, that is useful information about the person.
Anon
Ugh I feel for your fourth roommate. I’m the token government/nonprofit friend and so many of my friends are in tech/finance/consulting and it can be tough. Like, many of my friends’ bonuses are more than my enture salary (and their salaries are 2-3x my salary).
OP
How do you deal with it? I’m so stressed.
Monday
What is your field, and why do you love it? (This affects how I’d approach it)
Anonymous
Why are you stressed? If you are making $170,000 at age 25 (or 30), you are doing fantastic! I could see why you would protest about this so much if you were the one making $70K, but honestly, you do sound jealous. And I cannot for the life of me understand why. You make a TON too! Enjoy your life and don’t worry about hers.
Anon
I’m the token nonprofit friend too. I remember feeling rich when I started making 60k a year!
Anonymous
Why do people making six-figure salaries have roommates in the first place?
good luck
Honestly, they are practically kids…. early 20s. Barely out of college.
It makes me sad what is valued in society.
Anon
Probably because they are in the Bay Area and are used to having roommates. Either that, or the numbers in the post aren’t real.
Anon
Where do people making 200-300K have 3 roommates?
anonymous
Bay Area?
Anon
This is hard to even imagine. IDK where you can get a 4BR apartment, so are these room-roommates? Or just 4 people sharing a 4BR house?
anon
In Silicon Valley, it’s totally a thing for people in their 20s with high incomes to rent a large house together. It’s often a bit nicer or in a fancier neighborhood than what one could get in an apartment for the same money.
Anon
Yep super super common in Silicon Valley. Lots of friends in tech shared big, fancy houses in their mid-late 20s when they were earning very healthy salaries in the $150-200k range (this was 10+ years ago now). It only stopped when people started getting married and moving into smaller apartments or condos with their spouses. Personally I prefer a crappy studio apartment alone over a nice house with roommates (although I liked visiting my friends in the nice houses and partaking in their fancy kitchens and pools!) but many people are more extroverted than me and would choose the nice house and roommates.
Anonymous
SF
OP
SF! It’s very common here for everyone to have roommates up until ready to buy a house. Lots of 3 or 4 (or even 5) bedroom apartments.
C
Some FIRE folks are super hardcore but there are other ways to FIRE… and I’ve been FIRE focused for something like 7-10 years (I feel like I really started rocking spreadsheets a bit more recently). However I’ve never been the Early Retirement Extreme make your own laundry detergent type because the point of money to me was to be able to, like, spend some. If you don’t want to share salaries and whatnot just say that’s not your jam. You could suggest she start her own blog if she wants to be competitive and hold herself accountable? However, if there are other finance-related discussions maybe those topics would be interesting? Many FIRE folks follow straightforward investing advice and stuff so may be a reasonable source for info on, say, I bonds. I am a high income FIRE person, over six figure salary. Not in tech though, whoa! Roommates if you’re saving for FIRE could be particularly common….
anon
I’ve gotten more secure, kind friends. I’ve noticed that people who who feel good about themselves and are kind don’t need/want to compare their finances or brag about spending. What good would it do? We all want friends who like us for who we are.
I agree with the advice of being polite and direct that you don’t want to talk about money. Maybe your friend doesn’t know better and the conversation will help. If not, you will have comfort that you tried.
Aunt Jamesina
You all make really good money for any age, let alone people in their mid twenties! Your friend who makes $70k is still doing decently for your age group, too (yes, really. Yes, even in a HCOL area). I would be direct with your friend and tell her you’re tired of her money conversations. If she continues to bring it up, change the topic every time. The FIRE people in my life are mostly obsessive types. Don’t indulge her need to count others’ money and ruminate on finances.
And for your personal financial situation– eyes on your own paper. Are you satisfied with your job? Are you able to reasonably live on your salary? Are you looking to make a career move? You get this one life, don’t waste your time feeling inadequate when you have a very good income. I find surrounding myself with people in my tax bracket OR people who might be much better off, but aren’t showy goes a long way. Remember that millionaires still want more and envy billionaires. That sense of competition can rule your life if you don’t let it go.
As an aside, feel free to ditch the roommates at that salary level, especially if it’s getting to you!
Anon
It’s a phase. She’s excited about it. She’ll grow out of it, but it might take a while. Sounds like she also has some general growing up to do.
You can tell her it makes you feel bad about your salary when she talks about how high her’s is. Unless she delights in making others feel bad, she’ll stop.
Anonymous
I was always taught it is rude to talk about salary. And the only situation where I think it is ever appropriate is when it’s something like a mentee asking a mentor or colleagues in the same industry. Yes, we should normalize salary discussions among industry peers to ensure women get more equal pay. But what you’re describing carries none of those benefits. It’s just someone trying to use salary as a brag. I would point out to her how beyond normal manners what she is doing is particularly rude given t he disparity she knows with the not-for-profit roomie and ask what she is hoping to attain by doing that? And then just keeping asking her why. I think you need to point out that not only do you not want to hear it but that you find it classless. You’ll be doing her a favor.
I also hope for her the best, but experience has shown me (now almost 50) that high earners are also some of the worst hit at times of recession or after a merger or acquisition. So if they can get someone more experienced for the same price or get the job done cheaper, they will. A big salary is great until it puts a target on your back. Also, life is long and paths have a lot of ups and downs. If you put your worth in your salary, you’re setting yourself up for a crash at some point whether it’s job loss, poor health or even just finding out that you’re no longer the golden child in your boss’s eyes when the next hire starts to shine.
Anon
Some people are like that and it never ends. I’m in my 50s and went to dinner with three retired friends in their early 60s a few weeks ago. The conversation was 95% about how much money other people have. So and so is still working but he’s clearing 750 a year. Another one retired with $7 mil.
Then in between talking about other people’s money, they talked about who had died, which was quite a few people. None of them saw the irony. I just sat there and sipped my wine for the most part. I never want to go dinner with them again.
girlonawireless
Would definitely just not engage and, if pressed about the topic, would just dismissively say, “Don’t know and don’t care.”
She sounds insufferable with this preoccupation about what others make and — as you alluded to elsewhere — being a tightwad with what I assume are shared expenses.
pugsnbourbon
If these are wrong for the office, I don’t wanna be right.
Anon
I think that might have been in reference to big, clanky bangles? But these are awesome and totally fine for an office.
Cat
K-t was musing later in the post that these might be too much for the office if they had more movement to them. I don’t have any concerns in the slightest that these are “too much” in any dimension!
Anon
I wear bangles that make noise. I’m not nearly as loud as the blowhard dudes in my office. I’m not going to apologize for my bracelets gently clacking while it’s perfectly ok for Chad to go on and on (and on) about the game.
Anon
Oh, I’m 100% with you. I think there are very few pieces of jewelry that are inherently inappropriate for an office.
Senior Attorney
I used to be reluctant to wear dangly earrings to the office, until White House Chief of Staff C.J. Cregg paved the way: https://www.charactour.com/hub/characters/view/C-J-Cregg.The-West-Wing
Senior Attorney
Oops Press Secretary.
anonshmanon
I feel like CJ’s jewelry became bigger once she was Chief of Staff…
Anon
I had forgotten about CJ becoming CoS and when I googled it a reddit question about why she was chosen over Josh popped up. Dudes can’t even let a fictional woman have career successes . . .
Anom
Wow she looks young in that photo. Guess it was a while ago…
Anon
Yeah, 23 years ago!
Senior Attorney
Yeah, I’m blown away by how everybody in all those West Wing photos is somehow younger than I am now…
Anon
Yeah, the rules around here sometimes leave me SMH….
Boulangere
Following up on the house furnishing question from another poster this morning. I just moved to Philadelphia and am trying to furnish a ~2000 sq ft townhome. Does anyone have suggestions for local furniture stores, particularly good thrift/antique places to look for secondhand wood furniture (e.g., dining table, bookshelves, desk), etc.?
Another anon
Yes, the Mid-Century Modern Furniture Warehouse!
Anonymous
+1 – so worth the trip from NYC!
Cat
From online it looks like they really, really specialize in MCM and similar styles. Any similar sources for furniture in other styles?
Anon
Weird question of the day – I go to a gym that has yoga classes. There is one yoga instructor who I have a bit of a crush on and have spoken to a couple of times. He recently added me on LinkedIn (we’ve never exchanged names, so I’m assuming he got it from a class list?). Is this a normal thing? His LinkedIn profile only references his professional role as realtor and not anything about yoga. I’m worried he picked up on my crush and added me for that reason, but I’m hoping that it’s just a normal thing to try to drum up real estate business.
Anon
I think that’s weird
Anon
I think he’s acting super weird whether or not he picked up on your crush. If he likes you he should ask you out properly, if he doesn’t like you he should ignore/mention an SO.
Anonymous
Yes, (some)(most?) realtors are pretty obsessed with turning acquaintences into clients. I doubt that he picked up on your crush! He probably just wants you to think of him if you are ready to buy/sell a home.
Anon
+1. Don’t overthink, this is almost definitely what’s happening
OP
Okay, phew! His class is great and I didn’t want things to be awkward. Maybe I’ll need to buy a house in the future and can ring him up.
Anon
Ugh no, don’t reward his weird borderline unethical behavior. Also use a realtor who comes vetted from friends or neighbors, not some rando who might be terrible at his job.
Anon
I agree with this read.
Anon
+1 I have also randomly been LinkedIn by an acquaintance from the gym who is in real estate. Trust me when I say there were zero real or perceived crushes involved. He wanted me to use him when I bought a house. (I did not). I didn’t think anything of it – I would probably do the same if I was in a business where you need to hustle like that.
OP
Me too! I admire the hustle, though I don’t think I could possibly do it.
Explorette
Agreed. I would assume every person in that class got a request. My experience with realtors is that they will cross lines to try to get a client. It is very weird (unethical?) that he would use a class list from yoga to connect with class members to promote his real estate business.
OP
That does seem kind of crazy! I guess you do what you gotta do? I don’t have any experience with realtors, but I know sales people who’d do things like that if they had an opportunity.
Vicky Austin
+1 this is just realtors realtoring. Breathe easy!
Vicky Austin
Also – LinkedIn’s connection emails can be kind of sneaky. I’ve gotten some that say “Do you know Andy Ford?” and it’s phrased to make you assume that Andy has sent you a connection request, but it’s just the algorithm getting you to add Andy instead. Maybe he just recognized your photo and was like “Yeah, yoga student, I’ll add her back,” thinking you had reached out to him.
OP
Okay, PHEW! I was honestly so stressed when I got the connection request! I haven’t been that embarrassed for thinking someone noticed me blushing around them since high school. It definitely does seem like one of the two options listed here, which makes me feel like I can go back to his class without having to hide my face.
Anon
Agreed. Given the real estate agent angle, not even remotely weird.
Cat
realtors are always trying to work that hustle – I wouldn’t think anything of it, would be annoyed he used the class list in that way, and def not reward him with business.
Anonymous
I’ve had a lot of casual connections add me–the dog’s vet, the neighbor I’ve only talked to once, etc. I wouldn’t give it another thought. That he is a realtor–where they’re always in network mode–only underscores it’s probably just a hope for new business. If someone is interested in you, they tend to actually approach. LinkedIn connecting as a means to make the relationship more personal on a romantic level would literally be like one of the very last channels I think someone would use.
Vicky Austin
ha – the very idea of a love connection on LinkedIn has me snickering to myself at my desk.
anon
How do you cover/hide leg scrapes, cuts, scabs? I took a fairly hard fall last week and one of my legs/knee is all busted up. I am attending an event outdoors this weekend that really calls for shorts or a dress. It will be hot and this is the general style at this type of event. How do I conceal the scrapes, etc.?
anon
I wouldn’t conceal with makeup. Maybe hose, but that sounds miserable to me in the heat. I would either wear a longer skirt, or not worry about it.
Nope
Wear what’s comfortable and have a great story to tell. Nothing wrong with a few scabbed knees.
Anon
+1 I don’t. I am active and am always sporting bruises and scrapes. It’s NBD and I never try to hide them. Had one on my face for a couple weeks. Zero issues.
Anon
+1 Bandaids if they’re still necessary. Wouldn’t worry too much about it otherwise.
NYCer
I agree with this in general. But if you prefer to conceal it, a lightweight casual maxi dress is also fine in warm weather.
Amy
I would put on a large Bandaid/bandage, both for hygiene and the yuck factor.
Anon
Ehh, accidents happen. I wouldn’t worry too much about the yuck factor of a scrape.
Anon
If you want to cover it and it’s large, an ace bandage. If small, a bandaid. Not makeup.
LifeAdvice
Maxi dress or long skirt if it’s bothering you. Depending on where the cuts are could even me tea length or midi. Should be easy to find – all of these are in style right now!
Vicky Austin
Late q – is $20 enough for a preteen neighbor to come over and water the plants on the front porch as needed for a week? It’s what I would have received for a similar job at that age, but that was a long time and a lot of inflation ago.
Anon
Does s/he have to come daily? If so I’d probably do a bit more so they were getting at least $5 per visit. If they’re only coming every other day I think $20 is fine.
Vicky Austin
No, not daily – the sprinklers will go off every couple days and I expect it to rain at least once, so I was figuring she might have to come over 3-5 times. Sounds good – thank you for the input.
anon
I think more like $50 is appropriate if it’s every day.
Amy
What on earth? Obviously not, if it’s what you would have received 10+ years ago. I would look into what it would cost you to have a professional do this and offer the teenager at least half. I assume a professional would want $20 per visit, so I’d offer the teen at least $10. It’s not just the time it takes (five minutes) but the reliability and their remembering to do it and scheduling around it that you’re paying for. $20 for a week of work is basically free – if you want free labor, ask close friends or family.
Anonymous
Completely agree
Anon
Yeah I’d do $15 a visit
Anon
Eh, some things don’t really scale with inflation. Our cleaning service costs what it did 10 years ago. I don’t know the correct rate for this, but I don’t think the fact that OP earned $20 for doing this a decade ago automatically makes $20 inappropriate.
Anon
I feel really bad for the people cleaning your home!
Anon
Huh? They set their rate, we pay what they ask. We tip generously. Do you pay service providers more than they charge (excluding a tip)? Because most people don’t say to their cleaner/lawn mower/hairdresser “why are you only charging me $X? I want to pay $X+20!”
Also fwiw I have a grad degree and work an office job and my salary has only increased by 5% in the last 10 years, which would translate to OP paying $21 instead of $20. Which, ok. I don’t think that $1 is really life hanging for anyone. Most people do not see their salaries double or triple in a decade unless they change careers or get a major promotion, so its pretty silly to suggest a $20 job is now worth $40 or $50 “because inflation.”
Anon
Your cleaning service presumably has employees who do that as a full time job! Their pay should definitely increase over a whole decade.
Anon
Salaries usually don’t keep pace with inflation. Mine definitely doesn’t. I think I read that >60% of American workers took a pay cut this year when the salary was adjusted for inflation. Granted, inflation has been higher than average lately, but there are lots of people who take a pay cut every year in inflation-adjusted dollars.
Also cumulative inflation since 2010 has been 30%. Which is not insignificant but also not doubling or tripling the cost of goods and services like some in this thread are suggesting.
Anon
Omg what a crappy viewpoint, 8:06. So if salary doesn’t keep pace with inflation, we are all taking an effective pay cut while the sellers of goods and services make more and more. That’s not something we should encourage, especially on the backs of teenagers doing us a favor. Come on.
Anon
Too low.
NYCer
I think the answer partly depends on where you live, how many plants you have, and how close she lives to you. If you have one plant and she lives across the street, $20 is probably fine. If you have several plants and she lives further away than next door or across the street, I would probably give her $40-50.
Anon
I got that per week when I was 12… in 1996. I’d increase it to $40 (2 20 bills… easy enough).
Honestly, it was a phenomenal gig. I had a babysitting and plant watering business – made my own little fliers and went door to door in my 50-ish house neighborhood. I made money off of just about every one of those houses at one time or another.