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Updated: Sep 24, 2020 87 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Enamel Oval Necklace

Coffee Break

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Kenneth Jay Lane Enamel Oval Necklace

The Saks sale is now up to 40% off, with new items added — and I'm liking this simple black necklace. I think it would be a great addition to a really colorful top — even a print — and think that it's large and distinctive enough to make it a statement necklace.

Lovely. Was $275, now $192 at Saks.com. Enamel Oval Necklace

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Mac

    I LOVE this necklace, but wouldn’t pay anything close to that price for it.

    • MM

      I find myself in the same boat. Truly in lust, truly don’t understand the price tag.

      • anon

        That’s pretty. And the metal used is sterling silver. The materials used for this piece justify the price in my mind.

      • Mella

        Thanks for checking Res Ipsa! I love Novica.

        I’ve never tried Alchemy on etsy.com before, but I wonder if they could do something similar to this as I love the enameled ovals, but need the chain part to be non-metal.

        • Eponine

          I’ve had great experiences with Etsy alchemy – post a request and see who responds! Just because you make a request doesn’t mean you have to accept a bid.

        • Coach Laura

          I’m the same. I couldn’t wear the original one that Kat posted due to a nickle allergy (it seems to be everywhere). I need non-metal or I have to wear it over a turtleneck.

      • Tipping question

        Speaking of Novica, I recently, finally ordered a pair of earrings that I found on Novica through Corporette (maybe a similar pair was displayed, or maybe these exact ones?). I love them. They’re a little bigger than I usually wear, but I don’t think they’re huge. They’re also not heavy, despite the size…although they did droop until I tightened the backing more than I normally would. I got them in gold, but now I can only find them in silver: http://jewelry.novica.com/earrings/filigree/under-$50/silver-filigree-button-earrings-ball-of-lace/162484/

      • coco

        Thank you to all the corporettes who introduced me to Novica! Got a great gift for my mom for the holidays, who will love the concept as much as she loves the jewelry (I hope!).

  2. Totally anon

    Need advice. Hubby HATES his job to the point where he started therapy. His job is a really adversarial position where he has people swearing at him and calling him names on a daily basis. His therapist thinks it is affecting his health and is advising him to quit. (He used as an example, if you were allergic to dogs and someone kept bringing their dog to work you wouldn’t stay there right?) But here is the kicker. Hubby has been looking for new work for a long time and hasn’t had so much as an interview. I find it really hard to believe that will change by quitting current job.

    We live where we do because of my job and we have a decent amount of financial obligations – my student loans, home in former state that hasn’t sold, rent, etc. I have a feeling that if he quits we will have to let something slide. Forebearance on the student loans, etc. which I’m sure will effect our credit to at least some degree.

    I know hubby isn’t making it up. He has honestly been in tears about the work before. But I just don’t know how to support him quitting if it is going to financially destroy us. He is not a lazy guy and I’m sure he would get a part time job as a waiter or at a mall store or something but that wouldn’t keep us afloat. He also doesn’t want to get so busy with the non-career filler job that he doesn’t have time to look for other work.

    As it is though, I think he has been looking hard. I’m also afraid that leaving current job will put a big X on his resume for future work in this crappy market. What would you all do if you were me? What would you want your spouse to do if it were you? Just for the record, I have no hang ups about a stay at home husband or stay at home dad. We already decided if we want to have kids he will be the stay at home but I am so not ready for kids right now.

    • michelle

      I feel for you. I have a similar situation but at a later career point where my salary can carry us; my hubby went back to school to change careers and is MUCH happier. I think the biggest question for your husband is whether he has a clear sense of what his next career step is – given how miserable the current job is, is that strictly due to the specific job or is it type of work/industry/etc and therefore he needs a career change, not a job change? what does he really want to do and how realistic is that? And the first thing for you to do is take a pencil to your budget and figure out what you really need to get by – sounds like it’s just the two of you and you make a decent living, maybe you can cut enough corners without affecting your credit rating to enable him not to work for a period of time, or enable him to pursue a lower income job choice until children are his job. Can you sell the house in the other state for less than you want but get it off the operating expenses without a short sale? Can you cut back on car payments and such if he’s not working? can you refi the mortgage to reduce monthly outflow? Bottom line, though, is if you love this man, he needs to be out of a job that is making him ill, and some sacrifice is worth it.

    • Anon

      Easier said than done, I know, but try to figure out a way that he can quit without it financially destroying you. Rent a cheaper apartment, move back to former state and live in the house that hasn’t sold. I don’t know your circumstances to say exactly, but I’m sure it will be hard. But probably possible. Be creative. And make sure that when he quits, he quits with a plan — another job lined up, or a job he knows he can get that makes sense, or a degree he could be pursuing, or even some other value-added — fixing up your house or whatever. Few people are happy with no life project. His resume will take care of itself — at the end of the day, it’s nice to have a “good” job (in the sense of well-paying) but it’s only worth so much. I’m very sorry for you — this has to be terribly difficult. Good luck!

    • Eponine

      Unemployment, especially for prolonged periods, can be every bit as depressing and harmful to one’s health as his current situation is. He should keep looking for a new job, but I wouldn’t advise him to quit until he has something else lined up – at least a consulting gig or something similar.

      Can he take on a new hobby that would raise his spirits so he can look forward to the end of the day? And can he minimize his working hours – 9 to 5, nothing more, maybe work from home once a week? That might help.

    • Ballerina girl

      Is he a lawyer? I am miserable in my job and have been trying to get out for some time now to no avail. I would encourage him to try to hold out until he finds something else, but if he doesn’t find something after a certain deadline, maybe just quit anyway and try to find a solution that will help (moving back to old state as someone mentioned–if that works with your career, that is).

      Has he really been trying hard with the job search–it’s easy to get depressed and not put in a full effort. He needs to really work his connections and make that his priority–maybe set a goal like ten networking dinners or 30 resumes out in the next two months?

      Good luck!

      • Lawgirl

        Really tough situation. No answers, but I have lived through it with my hubb. He’s still at his crappy job, but he’s learned to obsess less, stand up for himself in the face of abuse, and let the chips fall where they may. (And he’s not fired yet! LOL).

    • Arachna

      There is nothing more important than health. Absolutely nothing. I find it hard to imagine how supporting two people on one good salary will “destroy” someone financially but frankly, even if I wasn’t working I would tell my husband to quit a job that was destroying him because health is about 100% more important than anything else. You’ve got a good 50 years in front of the two of you, you can go through a lot of changes in financial fortunes in that time but if you ruin your health you are done and you will be dealing with it for decades.

      Also keep in mind that someone working in a sould destroying job can’t possibly have enough emotional reserves to be creative in his job seeking.

      I would get creative with the budget and have him quit ASAP. Sell the house you are currently living in, anything. Unless you have children that will starve I just can’t imagine how it is worth it.

      • Arachna

        Addendum: there’s a big difference between “I don’t like my job” and even “my job depresses me” and “this job is destroying my mental health and the distress is consuming my life”.

        • L

          Yes. This hits the nail on the head. If he is in therapy, I’m guessing he’s closer to “this job is destroying my mental health” than “I don’t like my job.”

          I two and a half years at a job that slowly but steadily consumed more and more of my life until I got to the point that I hated who I was when I came into work each day. Once I heard myself say that out loud, I knew I couldn’t stay. (Worth noting that I had been saving for this point for a long time, so I finances were not as much of a concern.) I can’t even describe to you the weight that was lifted off my shoulders on the day that I left.

          My suggestion would be that you and your spouse agree upon a deadline at which he will quit, job or not–it can be two months from now, three months from now, whatever seems to make sense. In my experience, knowing there is a definite end in sight makes things much easier to tolerate. Then, save as much as you can and practice living on just one salary. Make a list of things you need to do prior to him leaving his job. If both of you are under a deadline, it will make it easier to have your cards in order when it comes time for him to quit.

          You probably don’t realize how much of an impact this is having on you, too. It’s worth it to make some short-term sacrifices for both of your long-term happiness.

      • Coach Laura

        This is exactly what I thought: Intensive interviewing is so emotionally draining and with his depleted reserves, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if this is what keeps him from acing an interview. And in this market, if you aren’t at 110% the job opening will go to someone who is.

        I suggest figuring out a way for him to quit with a clear plan for what he is going to do – day by day, hour by hour. Involve the therapist perhaps. I agree that if one is prone to depression, quitting a job and having an “unstructured” day may make it worse. The time off can be used to recharge, find a great position and hopefully help you, Totally Anon, handle the stress of being the main breadwinner. Eating Top Ramen and clipping coupons while having “date nights” at home might be a small price to pay if it helps him get back on track. Best of luck to you and your SO.

    • Res Ipsa

      I just don’t think I could, in good faith, force my spouse to go to work somewhere that puts him in tears and which his therapist told him to leave for his own mental health. You can’t overlook the financial aspect, but you also need to consider the long-term effects on your marriage if one person is so very unhappy.

      Have the two of you sat down and gone through the finances to see how it would work with one salary? How much savings do you have? Can you get a roommate? Can you rent out the unsold house? Can you cut cable/vacations/sell a car? Can you modify your loans? Can you put a little less money into your 401(k), at least temporarily?

      As to your final concern, the fact is that the economy sucks now and it’s sucked for a while. Lots of people (mostly men, in fact) are out of work. If your spouse has a gap on his resume that falls into the time period of this recession, I think most future employers are going to understand that it wasn’t for lack of trying or some character flaw.

      • surrounded by lawyers

        re Res Ipsa’s last paragraph: I’m wondering if something similar will also happen with problems in people’s credit histories, even including foreclosures. These problems are now SO common, I just can’t imagine they will be judged the same way in the years ahead.

        • Ann

          I absolutely think it will be seen differently. My husband was laid off in 2009 (he fortunately found another job quickly) but in the unemployment office, he got into a conversation with a bunch of men his age who were in there due to layoffs as well. One of them vowed that in the future, if he sees a candidate with a gap on his resume in 08/09/10 he will say “I was in that club myself” and not hold it against the person at all. And I imagine it will affect the way credit is seen too – even if that ends up having to be legislated at one point. if banks and financial institutions fail to alter policies on their own. After this meltdown, there will be more people who have blemishes on their credit than ones who don’t, I think.

      • anon for this

        Agree 100 % w/ the first paragraph, the final sentence especially. My husband and I went through this about five years ago — the job is no more, but its poisonous effects still linger. Long story short, it caused severe depression for my husband and almost destroyed our marriage (we separated for almost a year, and we’re still in couples therapy to this day as a result).

        I don’t want to trivialize the hard reality of the financial considerations. Living on only one salary, especially if it causes financial hardship, can obviously also put strain on a marriage. And it’s hard to know in advance which kind of strain is going to be harder for any given marriage to weather (financial strain vs one partner being miserable all the time).

        Best of luck, dear — my heart goes out to you, it’s a tough place to be in for sure.

    • Totally anon

      Thanks everyone. I am going to answer where I can while still staying anonymous.

      Hubby is not a lawyer. His problems are not with his coworkers but rather the job he has to do and the people he has to do it to. Every day he has to ruin someone’s day/week/month/year/life, etc. The people he deals with got themselves into the situation they are in but it doesn’t make him feel any better about what he has to do. It always has collateral effects too on families, employees, etc.

      He is considering talking to his boss about needing to leave his position and seeing if they can move him into a less adversarial position (non public facing.) He knows not to do this unless he is ready to leave in case they say no.

      Home in other state is currently rented out but we are not receiving our rental income. We are in the process of dealing with that.

      It is extra hard for me because we are in the financial situation we are in because of my student loans. His only debt is his car. He doesn’t know what he wants to do next but agrees that school isn’t the best choice because it means even more student debt for us.

      I think a big part of me is also just scared about not having his income and health insurance as a safety net if I lost my job. I’m in one of those fields with stealth layoffs left and right. I have no reason to think I’m about to be laid off but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen.

      I appreciate all the thoughtful feedback I’ve received.

      • rg

        Might his job prospects be better elsewhere (esp. if he’s trying to change fields)? If so, it’s not fun, but maybe it would make sense to live apart for a while. It could help him stabilize professionally and emotionally while you plan next steps.

      • anonawow

        If your student loans are federally guaranteed student loans, you can get a forbearance very easily with almost no questions asked and it does not affect your credit – trust me I had to do it for a year once. The option to use it when needed is built into your contract. If you ask for a forbearance, it will automatically be set up for one year, and at the end of the year you will have to fill out another (really simple) forbearance form if you need it to continue.

        Health is always more imporant than money. It may seem now that the financial issues are the biggest looming threat, but you don’t want to find yourself in a place later where you have the perspective to see that the real biggest looming threat was a disaster re: your husband’s mental health, his ability to cope with life, your marriage, etc.

      • MelD

        Can he take a leave of absence? I have a friend who was in a similar situation in her job. At the time, she’d been there 8 years, had been in therapy, and was on medication just to make it through the day. She’d tried asking them if she could move into a different department with no success. Once she came back, she said her work was much more accommodating with respect to putting her into less intense work groups.

    • Anon me too

      I’ve been through something so similar – right down to the details of your financial situation, so my heart went out to you when I read this post. It hurt me so much to see my husband so overwhelmed. On the other hand, I was terrified that if he didn’t have a job I would lose my money and insurance safety net. (I’m a worrier!)
      We made some changes in our finances, including lowering retirement contributions, deferring some loans, cutting out cable, new clothes, and eating out, and hubby was able to move to a part time temporary job. While new job is ridiculously low paying, it does help, and it’s very very low stress. He’s now back in school and we’ve both now come to the realization that student loans are just a fact of life (for us anyway), and that we’re borrowing now so he change to a job that makes him happy. Although I wouldn’t advise school unless he knows exactly what he wants to do.
      Some things I’ve learned (not saying you’re me, so you know -YMMV)
      – When your house is out of state, get a property manager. She gets a % of rent, so there’s a strong incentive to get good tenants and to pursue rent, and there’s always someone local to manage the little problems. Also, they often have cheap handymen, so repair costs can go way down.
      – Living separately during turmoil can be really hard. Men often don’t have the social support that women do, so a husband may rely on his wife as the friend he can talk to about his problems. Even everyday physical companionship like hugs can be really important. My husband was very lonely and his depression worsened when we lived apart (it was only for a 2 months, and would have been disastrous if longer).
      – Setting a date to quit his job can keep him from having a melt-down and quitting. Get your savings in order now – read some personal finance blogs to get an idea of how to budget for low income (if you’re not already familiar with this). If his company doesn’t pay out vacation time on termination, have him start using it now – like a day every week. It will take some of the stress off.

      It sounds like you have really healthy communication, and that you are already providing a safe place for him to express himself. In that way, you’re ahead of the game. Best of luck to you both – I think the best thing you can do is support your partner and help him leave the toxic workplace.

    • Ann

      I have been in this situation, as the person who hates their job and needed their spouse to understand why I needed to quit. I have no doubt your husband will wait tables, scrub floors, clean bus station toilets, etc. rather than continue at his current job. I was more than willing to do any or all of those things to escape the bad situation I was in. I was so depressed by my job that I called in sick for a week and literally lay on the couch watching one Sex and the City episode after another, over an over, from the minute I got up until the minute I went to sleep. I was incapable of doing anything else.

      People who have never had a truly toxic job don’t understand that it literally sucks out your will to live. I had absolutely no energy to do anything – ANYTHING – other than go to work and come home. Antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds only made me not care about what was happening to me, they didn’t give me my life back. I admire your husband for going into therapy because I didn’t start until AFTER I quit, and my therapist said “you basically have PTSD from this job.” It took a long time to get over it.

      I have to level with you. Your husband should not have to work a job that is making him completely miserable – maybe even suicidal – to help pay off your student loans. Look at it this way – if you hadn’t gotten married, you’d be having to pay them off by yourself anyway. Marriage is a partnership, and it shouldn’t be a partnership where one person is miserable and losing the will to live so the other person can be financially comfortable. There are lots and lots and lots of people who are behind on their mortgages right now and yes, it is a credit hit but people are living through it.

      My advice is to sit down and brutally go through your finances. Write down necessary expenses – meaning “we must have these to eat, have a place to live, and transport ourselves to jobs” goes in one column. Everything that is not absolutely necessary for life goes into another column. You add back what you think the real priorities are into the first column. Is your salary not enough to cover the real necessities? How much could your husband bring in at a temp job (there are a lot of companies hiring temp or temp-to-perm workers right now) or a menial job? Could you sell a car, some furniture? Can you call the bank and arrange a short sale for your house in another state?

      I would rather sell everything we own and move into an apartment than have my husband despondent over his job, yet have to keep going to it. Ultimately, money is just money. You can make more. Lives are different. Marriages are different. Look at it this way – what if you got into a really bad situation and needed him to cut you some slack, and he wouldn’t do it? How would you feel? I think it is also very possible that once he does find a different professional job and gets more stabilized, he will have lasting resentment and anger towards you that is not easily fixable, over the fact that you were unwilling to make sacrifices to help him out of a very bad situation.

      I have sympathy for your position but ultimately, you need to do what is best for your husband and your marriage, not your student-loan and mortgage companies. They will not be there to take care of you if you get sick, father your children, or otherwise act as a partner for you. Yes, credit problems are terrible. I am fortunate that nothing we’ve ever done has impacted our credit, but I know people who have gone through everything from foreclosure to bankruptcy and they have survived it. I think with some judicious planning you should be fine. And later will look back and realize you absolutely made the right choice. Best of luck to you both.

        • Anony

          I’m really pleased to see the responses you have received :)
          Good luck to you, and I hope your husband’s situation improves.

          At times like this, I wish I was married, lol.

      • Anon

        I also have had a very, very similar experience with my spouse; his struggles with mental illness preceeded the job, but got worse while he was there. He eventually (and without consulting me) simply quit and walked away from the job he hated. It was many months before he was employed again, and that took a toll, but he is now working at a job he likes reasonably well.

        My advice: help him build an exit strategy so that his health does not deteriorate and so that he doesn’t feel forced to take drastic and potentially unwise action without a plan just to get out of there. In my situation, it wasn’t even clear immediately whether my children would have access to health insurance through my job as my spouse quit, rather than being fired or laid off. (We all were elligible for my plan, thankfully.) My spouse is not a bad guy or a terrible parent, he just felt as though he had run out of options.

        You probably have more flexibility in your spending than you think, but better to figure that out beforehand than afterwards.

        • Anonymous

          I had a job that was so stressful that I lost 15 pounds in three months, and I did not have the weight to lose as I was a size 4. I quit with no job to go to, and I was not married. If your hubby has a heart attack, your financial situation will not improve.

  3. Shout out to Lands End

    Sunday I used one of their deals to buy a lot of different items for a hot weather vacation we are planning next month. This morning, I received a new deal that would have saved me another 60 dollars off my order. I called them up and in less than a minute they were switching the deals and crediting my VISA. No forms, no long waits on hold, just a pleasant “of course” from the woman who picked up the phone on the first ring, without any telephone menus or crappy music. It made my day. I’ve always liked Lands End for their quality and value, but now I have another reason to love them!

    • AIMS

      I never ordered from them until recently & have to say I have been very impressed, too.
      The 2 things I ordered from their Canvas line were followed up with separate, hand written thank you cards (I only get that from Brooks Brothers if I spend over $500, here I spent $50.)
      Also, ordered some of the LE modern fit tees & am very impressed. Not dowdy like some of their other stuff tends to be — nice fabric, longer length, great cut. Color me a convert! So glad their price adjustment policy is also great!

  4. anon

    I have a love/hate relationship with costume jewelry. While I don’t have an issue with costume pieces per se, I really think that Kenneth Jay Lane along with R J Graziano and their ilk are wildly expensive for what it is. I wish there were some kind of information out there that would tell me what justifies some of the higher prices that are charged.

    And let’s not get into what prices vintage custome pieces are fetching.

    • AIMS

      In my experience, what justifies the higher cost for some fake jewelry is a) craftsmanship and b) how it looks over time.

      With lower end items, the “stones” tend to fall out quickly, the metals tarnish quicker, everything becomes duller faster, etc. Whereas with some of the “nice” costume stuff — it looks great year after year after year.

      I wouldn’t nec. spend full price on most of these, but I can say that there’s def. a difference in a KJL rhinestone bracelet and something from a random lower end manufacturer. Same with anything else fake. You can get CZ studs for $15 or for $100 — the ones that are $100 will look more real, and for a significantly longer period than the $15 pair.

  5. Bridget

    BTW, what do people think of big, statement necklaces on those of us with a little extra weight? I’ve put some weight on recently (which I’m still getting used to dressing), and I’ve been thinking that maybe the upside is being able to get away with “bigger” jewelry. Do you think there’s a correspondence between weight and size of jewelry?

    (Also, I don’t want to become one of those eccentric women wearing caftans and huge jewelry and becoming a cliche of an overweight person … Not that I’m actually considering buying caftans, but I worry that there’s some stereotype about eccentric “large” women with big jewelry.)

    • surrounded by lawyers

      I think yes, your frame does have something to do with what size jewelry is flattering/you can get away with. I would encourage these statement pieces if they appeal to you! I think the key to not looking “eccentric” is moderation. ONE chunky/funky item at a time, for example, and balancing them with your outfit and shoes. But everyone, no matter their size, has to think about this. Today I initially put on a scarf with medium-sized hoop earrings and a headband with a ponytail, and it wasn’t working.

    • jcb

      I think of it the same way as print size. If you’re petite, you will be overwhelmed by an enormous print, but a smaller pattern will look appropriate and balanced. Somehow that helps me visualize it better when it comes to jewelry.

    • Agreed!

      I agree with surrounded. I think larger pieces look best on women who aren’t especially petite. I think slim women can pull them off well if they are tall and I think they look great on women with a little extra weight, as well! Of course there are exceptions, but I tend to think large pieces of jewelry look out of place on women who are both slim and on the shorter side.

    • Mella

      I’ve gained 30 pounds in the last few years and get frequent compliments on my statement necklaces. My not-so-secret trick is to always match the necklace to either 1) my coloring. I’m Southeast Asian so shades of black and brown; or 2) the colors in my clothing. For example, one of my pendants is a a painted-enamel thing with teal, purple, pink, and orange bordered in black. It looks really great paired with my plain purple top with a black jacket over it, and FANTASTIC with this teal-and-purple top I got last year at Target. I agree with surrounded by lawyers below: wear one statement piece at a time and keep the rest of your outfit complementary.

      (Why am I picturing Mimi from the Drew Carey show as I write this?)

    • Samantha

      Not just the size of the jewelery but the placement also matters. If correctly used it can focus attention on your flattering features.
      e.g. if you have a long neck but a large bust, then wearing a close to the neck large necklace will draw attention upwards to your face rather than your bustline.

    • Bridget

      Sorry I wasn’t able to check in and respond while the conversation was happening, but thanks for the advice. I think I will take advantage of this new option with some big necklaces, AND that means I’ll also get to shop for some smaller earrings to go with them. Yay!

  6. Sparkly Fan

    So I just fell madly in love with this Tory Burch purse in gold http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446394484&afsrc=1&site_refer=GGLBASE001&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=0885427346586. It is so super soft and so light weight.

    And even though I NEVER wear anything sparkly (I actually hate metallics usually but this just isn’t one of those scream at you metallics, I swear),
    I have no idea what I’ll wear it with, and it goes against every grain of sense in me to spend so much on myself before the holidays, but I simply had.to.have. it.

    Any outfit suggestions on how to best incorporate it into off-work hours? Other than jeans and a simple sweater in cream or beige?

    • eaopm3

      I’d think of it as a neutral and pair it with tons of stuff. I can see it looking really sharp with blacks, navys, rich browns, the brights that are really popular right now. I, personally, would want to incorporate a little gold into my outfit – just a simply small necklace or a belt buckle or something, but I don’t think it’s necessary, really.

    • alhambra

      beautiful bag! In my mind gold is a neutral and can be paired with most colors. The two colors I wouldn’t pair it with are orange and yellow. But I think this bag would look amazing with blues, browns, gray, black and greens. I also think gold is seasonless and you can wear the bag with dark colors for a winter looks and pastels and lighter colors for a summer look.

  7. C2

    Two part question —
    Anyone else not loving the new “Lijit” search on this site [cutesy spelling issues aside]? Maybe it’s me, but I cannot get any search results that include matches in the comments.

    Which leads to Part 2 — I know we’ve covered this a million times, but it didn’t sink in and now it’s my turn to ask: any recommendations for a high-quality men’s shaving kit for a Christmas gift? Bonus points for any tips on a great electric shaver (two separate gifts). A curt, “for the last time, X brand!” would more than suffice :) Thanks ladies!

    • jcb

      Sorry, no helpful answers for you, but just an added question while we’re on the topic of electric shavers – any recommendations for a women’s version? Or does it not matter which gender is using it?

      • coco

        from what i remember from the time i had an electric shaver (about 15 years ago), there is a difference because they are designed for different parts of the bodies. you probably could use whatever you wanted without causing injury, it just might not be as easy (or it could be easier…since men use electric shavers more than women, they might just be better).

    • CFM

      I love Art of Shaving, they will walk you through every product they have, they are super helpful.

    • SF Bay Associate

      Taylor of Old Bond, Truefitt & Hill, or any other brand actually made in England. Art of Shaving is actually very overpriced considering the quality of their ingredients.

    • coco

      both my father and grandfather have sworn by the norelco electric shavers. that being said, my dad is the least up on trends or new technology person i know (he still has his digital camera from 10 years ago). but he’s always been happy.

    • Suze

      Oh, I just HATE the ‘lijit search’ thing (and liked what we had before, Kat if you are listening) – I mostly remember prior posts by commenter’s names which lijit doesn’t let you search….and it seems counterintuitive on general terms as well.

      Sorry about the shaving kit – depends on the guy TOTALLY . My hubs would never in a million years use anything but your basic gillette 3 blade razor and barbasol. I love the idea of a brush, mug and all that, but I don’t mind having the barbasol readily available in the shower :)>

  8. K

    Budget/saving questions…

    I’m a year out of college and was fortunate enough to graduate with no student loans & no debt of any kind (car payment/credit card/etc). I’m not making much money but I don’t have many fixed expenses either.

    I’ve realized that I should take advantage of my situation and try to save as much as possible. My spending has been a bit out of control this year. I’ve managed to put some money away, but I want to do a better job next year.

    So ladies, how do you decide how much to save every month? Do you just try to save as much as you can? Do you set a target amount? Do you have it transferred to a separate account automatically or do you do it manually?

    To clarify, I’m not talking about retirement savings here. I do a decent job on that. I’d like to know more about how you manage & grow your liquid/cash/emergency fund kind of savings.

    • lawyerette

      I recommend reading “All Your Worth: The Ultimate Lifetime Money Plan” by Elizabeth Warren and her daughter. They recommend dividing your income into “Must Haves,” “Wants,” and “Savings.” It really helps.

    • L

      I think it depends on what you’re going for. I was in a job I didn’t particularly like (although it paid very well) so my goal was two-fold: 1) Not get used to a salary I might not make if and when I switched fields and 2) To have enough saved so that I had flexibility in my next move and could take time off if I wanted. Thus, I saved as much as I could–about half of my paycheck.

      My biggest piece of advice is take advantage of direct deposit. Once I put money in my savings account, I tended not to touch it. It’s much easier to do at the front end of a paycheck than at the back end.

    • N

      I would take a look at a budgeting calculator to see how much you have left over monthly, in an ideal world before splurges, and see what you can save on.

      I discovered http://www.learnvest.com/pages/toolsAndCalculators/budget yesterday, and although I’m abroad, and not all applies to me, I found it really useful that they also have a category for monthly savings, and what you would have left by the end of that month even with the savings added in to the expenses.

      Previously I’ve set a goal for how much I’m going to save in a year, and then added it to a savings account whenever I felt like I was economically afloat. But I think that it might be better to have a set monthly amount – to give greater predictability.

      It’s probably best to have a separate saving account, in my opinion, as it makes it more difficult to spend the money on impulse buys.

    • EK

      Oh, automatic. It has to be; I’d never do it otherwise. (I’m the queen of excuses on why I “need” to spend more than I budgeted and how this week/month/whatever is an anomaly. It isn’t.) I use automatic transfers to several different ING accounts, but you can do it whatever way is easiest for you. Many companies will let you set up multiple direct deposits for your paycheck, for example.

      First off, I’d do some brainstorming about what you want to save for, how much you’ll need, and when you want it by. (Emergency fund of 4 months salary by 2014; $10,000 for a car by 2015, etc.) Don’t worry right away about whether you *can* do it, just write down your goals. What would it take to make you feel good about your savings? Then take an honest look at your spending. Write down some things you bought in the last six months or so that you could live without. Compare your “goals” list with your “overspending” list and make amendments until they’re more or less in synch. (Listing your goals first should make it easier to find things to cut out!)

      I review my budget and my savings goals about every quarter. Some people suggest you should try to increase your savings by X percentage every Y period, but I find it much easier to think in round dollar amounts– can I find $25/paycheck to put toward Christmas gifts? $200/month to save for a newer car? $50 more a month toward my emergency fund? I absolutely rely on Mint.com and ING for this. Mint lets me track my spending and all my accounts in one place; ING lets me automate everything and keep everything in separate accounts. I especially love the ability to nickname accounts, by the way. It’s harder to lie to myself and shift money around when all my bank statements say “New Car” and “Emergency Fund” on them.

    • Another Sarah

      Personally, I’m not a fan of saying things like, “I’m going to save $50 every month!” because then I start thinking things like, “Ok, so I have ‘monthly income’ – $50 to spend this month. Wahoo!!” Even if I think “I’m going to save AT LEAST $50,” I’m still giving myself a floor, which isn’t good. It works for a lot of people, just not for me. It will work better if you have direct deposit and can specify a certain $ amount or % of your paycheck goes in which account. Then, you know that every month, $xx.xx is going in your savings account, and you have your checking account to spend until it hits 0.

      For me, it helps that I put everything on my one (1) credit card. I have all my expenses in front of me, itemized, and added up nicely. Before I go and buy a new suit or whatever, I can look at my running total and think, “Ok, I spent $xx so far this month, can I afford this?” When I use it, I put it right back in its slot in my wallet; if I want to use it again, I have to take it out again. After I do this a few times, I start thinking to myself, “Didn’t I just do this? How often did I do this today? Do I NEED this? I need to stop the madness!” Whatever is left over at the end of every month goes into savings. Yes, I play mind games with myself. But it works for me! :-)

    • nonA

      Open an interest-bearing account in a separate bank from your primary checking account. Set up automatic transfers of whatever amount you decide is appropriate to save on a regular basis for one day after your paycheck. That way you can sort of “forget” about the money and you can let it accumulate in the background.

    • K

      Original commentor here…you ladies are awesome – so many good suggestions! Thank you!

      I currently use Mint and I have an ING account, but I’m seeing that I find ways to “justify” my overspending. Most of the time it’s completely unnecessary. I’ve realized I do need to set some goals (emergency fund, new car fund, vacation fund, etc.) for myself in order to get things going in the right direction.

      Thanks for all of the suggestions, particularly the LearnVest site and the book. Will definitely have to check them both out.

      • EK

        On the justification thing (and boy, do I hear you!), the best advice I ever got was “stop acting surprised about how you spend your money.” Yes, there are emergencies and surprises in life, but most of our expenses and splurges are predictable. My car insurance is not a surprise; the bill comes every six months. Worn-out tennis shoes are not a surprise. My 20- and 30-something friends getting married in June is not a surprise. The semi-annual sale at my favorite store is, by definition, not a surprise. When you’ve actually got a handle on your expenses, you can start treating them as normal and put money aside every month. And if, when you look at your entire budget, putting $400 aside every month for shoes makes you look like a crazy person, then… there you go. :-)

        • K

          That’s brilliant advice, and so true when you stop to think about it. Thanks for sharing!

  9. AtlantaAttorney

    LOVE the necklace. I’m all about statement necklaces right now – they make the most boring, conservative outfit seem snappy.

  10. ST

    I know we’ve covered this before, but I’m having trouble finding it. How do you keep pants hemmed for heels from dragging on the ground on your walk to work? I used to just walk in heels, but I’m too far away now to do that and I’d really like to start wearing pants more now that it’s cold outside!

      • JAS

        Binder clips are about the most useful thing ever made, aren’t they?? I use them to keep my shower closed, to hang skirts and pants when I don’t have a clip hanger, and a billion other things. . .A while back we had a thread about alternate uses for office supplies and I think binder clips probably topped it as having the most uses.

        • AEK

          We have one serving as a “handle” for our kitchen trash can lid at the moment…the foot pedal broke and this was the temporary fix. Of course, talk to me next month and we will still be using the binder clip, because who has time to replace a trash can?

        • Miriam

          It is almost sick how much I love binder clips! I got very excited when the library had free ones during finals last year. Oh the simple joys of being a law student!

    • Ru

      I was messing around in a shoe store one day waiting for my train and tried on Skecher’s Shape-ups for fun. They are outrageous comfortable. I got these in black http://www.amazon.com/Skechers-Womens-Shape-Ups-Physical/dp/B001OW6TI0 and use them as my commuting shoes. Yes, they’re ugly, but they’re super comfortable and the height keeps my pants from touching the floor. I like these in particular because they don’t have laces and they don’t look too much like sneakers.

  11. Ellen

    Wow, you ladies are so empetheic on these issues. Kudos to you ladies. I am so glad there is a place to talk like this. I hope to learn alot from this websight.

    My only issue is that my BF wants to come to my firms Christmas party, but it does not allow for spouses or significent others. He thinks I am just trying to keep him away so he will not see the other men in my firm.

    I told him that I am not interested in any of the men in my firm b/c he is my boyfriend, but he still thinks I am checking out other men.

    How do I get him to believe me that I am not interested in checking out other men. I do not care what he does at his job, b/c he comes home @ night to me anyways, so what is the problem?

    If you have any good ideas, I would love to hear them. Thank you in advance. XOXO.

    • ADS

      Honestly? DTMFA. If you have to convince him you’re not cheating on him, or thinking about cheating on him, he’s not boyfriend material, and he’s DEFINITELY not husband material. You can do better.

      • meme

        Ellen is a troll. My personal theory is that Ellen = Alan – some single guy who enjoys reading about women’s fashion and wishes he had a glam girlfriend named Ellen.

        • AN

          really? thought it was a girl-troll who WISHES she had a glam life/nic BF. FOOEY on me for being wrong:)

          • Janie

            As much as Ellen/Alan/Whatever learned from this websight (sic), I think the introduction of the word FOOEY to the corporette lexicon has been a great public service.

        • Ses

          But her posts are always so sweet! I find I really don’t mind reading them. I like to imagine that Ellen is an AI being tested by a programming team in the classic test of whether the AI can pass as a human. Think VICI in that 80s show “Small Wonder.”

          • Louise

            I would rather err on the side of being kind to Ellen, under the assumption that English isn’t her first language. Why be mean? It’s just as easy to be kind, and even easier to say nothing.

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