Coffee Break – Groove Hobo Bag

Furla Groove Hobo BagOooh: what a gorgeous Furla hobo bag.  Love the red leather strap, the brown and red details, and the soft, pebbly white leather — gorgeous.  And Lord & Taylor is offering 40% off select designer handbags until midnight tonight, so the price is amazing — was $498, now marked to $298.80.  FURLA Groove Hobo Bag



  1. Gorgeous! I would probably wear this everywhere, but I’d be worried about the white getting dirty.

    • I was thinking the same thing about a Kate Spade tote I saw on sale yesterday – white with a black bow. Gorgeous but I would have it a mess in no time.

      As for Furla, I fell in love when I was in Italy in 2004. There was a Furla store around the corner from our hotel and I feel like I just left nose prints on the windows.

      • I love this bag AND Lord and Taylor but the Manageing partner REFUSSES to reimburse me for Handbag’s b/c HE says it is NOT clotheing!

        He also say’s his deciseons are FINAL, and their is no one else that I can apeal to! FOOEY!

        Finally, he is working my tuchus off even tho my raise is NOT efecteive until 8/1 and I won’t get a paychek until 8/15 with the 3%. DOUBEL FOOEY!

  2. Merabella :

    I wrote a few weeks back now about dry brushing. I am writing to recommend it to everyone. My skin looks so awesome, and it is a nice little way to wake up in the morning. Definitely put on lotion or skin oil after your shower, because you will want it.

    I also came to the realization that even though I am 5’5” I need to buy tall shirts because I am broad of shouldered, large of bust, and long of torso.

    • What is dry brushing?

      • and could you link to the brush you’re using? Thanks!

      • Merabella :

        Dry brushing is when you take a natural fiber brush and brush your skin without any water. You should do it before you take a shower. It exfoliates your skin.

        Saw it on this blog. She has a good explanation.

        • Merabella :

          Using this brush.

    • I bought this brush on your recommendation and I have decided dry brushing is the best thing ever. Thank you! My skin looks better, it feels softer, and it almost makes me not need caffeine in the morning.

      • Merabella :

        I’m glad you like it. I liked it so much I bought one for my mom, and one for my sister. I’m contemplating buying some back ups for myself as well…

  3. Cornellian :

    it is not rare that I am wearing a tall shirt (for my broad shoulders, long arms, and long torso) and petite bottoms (for my short legs), and I’m 5’4.

    • Merabella :

      Glad to know I’m not alone! Have you figured out what to do on the one piece bathing suit front? I’m still stumped there.

      • Cornellian :

        I don’t! If it’s long enough it’s 4 sizes too big everywhere else. maybe a tankini for similar coverage?

        I don’t know if it’s more common among athletically built people, but in gymnastics there were special extra-long leotards that worked well for me. but normal leotards and one-pieces are no gos, unfortunately.

      • Seattleite :

        Lands’ End sells ‘long’ one-piece swimsuits. So does Eddie Bauer, tho EB’s selection is quite small and pricey.

      • I’ve gone to tankinis. Similar coverage but more flexibility in terms of torso length. (Also, much easier to go to the bathroom.)

  4. Honey Pillows :

    Oh! This is lovely! So fresh and still classic.

    TJ – We’ve addressed how to edge up a professional look, but how does that translate for men?

    The Dear Young Buck graduated his master’s program a few weeks ago, and managed to get a job already (hooray!).

    This will be the first time in his adult life he’s had any decent money to buy clothes, and he asked me to take him shopping. His personal style leans slouchy/punky, but for work previously he’s dressed entirely in boring, extremely conservative professional clothes purchased by his father. He does not have ANY fashion sense, and doesn’t understand why anyone would want to wear anything other than a stretched out teeshirt and ripped, stained jeans with running sneakers if they don’t have to. How/where do I help him find clothes that he likes but are appropriate for work? (And maybe convince him to take more care in dressing for the weekends, too?)

    • Honey Pillows – I think a good starting point for DYB is for him to pick out work-appropriate looks that he likes from actors/celebrities he likes, movie characters, etc. Maybe see if he likes any of the more conservative looks on (which is just generally a simple great men’s fashion blog)?

    • What does he need to wear for work?

      My husband and brothers wear a lot of the Brook Brothers no iron dress shirts. Pants from Macy’s or JC Penny (one of my brothers is pretty thin and does well at JC Penny). Jos A. Banks for okay suits (don’t shop unless they’re doing a promo, which they almost always are), and Syms is also good for discounted suits–I think you will get higher quality there. My husband’s non-business wear is jeans or khaki shorts with a plain t-shirt (he stocks up on plain, solid color t-shirts from Banana Republic when they’re on sale). He was wearing out his dressy belt by wearing it all the time, so we got a thicker leather belt (Carhart) to wear with jeans and shorts.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      I nstantly thought of one of my former coworkers who would wear gray dress pants with a black belt and white button up shirt (typically in a thicker more casual fabric) with the sleeves rolled up a bit and a watch that had a wide black band. He looked professional but was a bit different than some of the other guys who dressed more conservatively and was definitely a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. The watch and the rolled up sleeves are what made it a little different to me and reflected his personality a bit.

      • Yeah. I think funky watches, belts, shoes, messenger bags, and ties are where I’ve seen most guys express the most individuality in their clothes. Also eyeglasses if he wears them.

        • Agree. Was going to mention watches, belts, slim-cut pants and skinny ties as items I often see on the “slouchy/punky” guys at my office.

        • or, if you are Agent Seeley Booth, crazy belt buckles and socks ;-)

    • SAlit-a-gator :

      Costco $17.99 no-iron dress shirts. Game changers. I love their wide selection, quality, and lets face it where else are you going to find no-iron shirts for less than that?

  5. TJ – people in government take business casual WAY too far in the summer. I got in the elevator this afternoon with a girl wearing a white jersey jumpsuit, strapless, with one leg rolled up to the knee and platform heels. It was all I could do to not weep.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      A strapless jumpsuit?? And it’s white. and jersey. and has one leg rolled up. and platform heels. That is so ridiculous that I wonder if there was a hidden camera somewhere to catch your reaction.

    • Dude – she was undercover, obvs….I think you might’ve blown her cover!!!!

    • Maybe she was someone’s weird girlfriend stopping by the office? Maybe?

    • Jenna Rink :

      Was there a costume party?

    • I also work for a gov’t agency. My former group leader routinely wears Hawaiian shirts and cargo shorts during the summer. And once (thankfully, just once) I saw a girl’s rear cheeks in a pair of jean shorts she was wearing! Our dress code errs on the side of “wear clothes”, but I think she was pushing that…

    • HA! Do you work at my agency? This type of wardrobe is the norm.

    • I cringe when the capris and flipflops come out of hiding.

    • My coworker (whom I’m friends with) once wore a silky romper to the office. I looked straight at her and said, “(Friend), what the hell are you wearing?” She never wore it again.

    • I would just like to shout out my gov agency. We are very appropriately dressed! and there are some fashionable people to. I have not seen a single flip flop during the day time (some commuting ones but thats ok) I did see some really light colored 80s jeans that I side eyed but other than that, good job my agency

    • Maybe she rode her bike to work and that’s why one leg was rolled? Though that doesn’t really work with platform heels…and I would never get in the elevator without fixing my pant-leg.

    • Jenna Rink :

      Does anyone else have really specific job interview anxiety? I generally do really well in interviews and never get nervous. I’ve had two interviews recently where I wowed everyone in the office until I got to the middle aged, female, very successful department head and forgot how to speak. Actually, in one of them I developed a facial twitch as well, which was just super. This seems to happen only with this very specific demographic. Obviously, I would love to work in a department run by a very successful woman, so this is a problem that I need to figure out how to deal with. I don’t even know where to start, I really can’t figure out where this anxiety is coming from!

  6. ‘Rettes! I have a shopping challenge. I’m looking a black leather handbag with gold hardware to carry to and from work. I’m hoping to spend under $200. I don’t have a solid preference to style, but I do have a Kate Spade aversion, and it needs to be large and sturdy enough to tote a laptop back and forth. Does anyone have any favorites or recommendations?

    The online shopping force is weak with this one. Help me, corporetto-kenobi, you’re my only hope!

  7. (Sorry if this posts twice but I’m stuck in moderation.)

    Ladies, I have a shopping challenge!

    I’m looking a black leather handbag with gold hardware to carry to and from work. I’m hoping to spend under $200. I don’t have a setpreference to style, but I do have a Kate Spade aversion, and the needs to be large and sturdy enough to tote a laptop back and forth. Does anyone have any favorites or recommendations?

    The online shopping force is weak with this one. Help me, corporetti-wan-kenobi, you’re my only hope!

    • Here’s a Cole Haan bag that seems to fit the bill, but it’s $225, with the Neiman Marcus Last Call sale price.

    • Motoko Kusanagi :

      How about this tote?

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      How about this one? It’s a bit basic but maybe it would work.

    • If you need to carry a laptop, I am guessing you need either a tote or a full on laptop bag. I am not a fan of laptop bags, myself, so I would go with tote. There are some great sales out there now.

      I don’t know what your style is like, but I think Linea Pelle is a nice non-Kate Spade like brand … There’s this on Saks Fashion Fix:
      I think the thicker straps will make carrying a laptop more comfortable, although aside

      This Milly tote also seems really cute and may be a bit better for work and organization, though not if you have a large laptop. (It’s 219, but I figure that’s close…)

    • I love my J.Crew Brompton hobo, though it’s more than you want to spend at $295:

      But seriously, I love this so much that I bought it in two colors! I bought the henna after it was featured on this site a couple of years ago. I just bought the black one a month or so ago, when I decided I needed just what you’re looking for: a sturdy black leather bag, with gold hardware, large enough to carry a laptop. It’s got nice long sturdy shoulder straps, but also a detachable cross-body strap which is useful when you’re really carrying some weight.

      Having said all this … I think that LL. Bean bag looks great, and the price is great, too! It actually looks like a Coach bag.

    • I like these two and they’re on sale:

  8. So in awesome boss stories of the day, this morning I was trying to find an attorney in another state who might be able to get a document from court for us. I brought a list of names to my boss to look over. He goes “Oh here’s a good one. Oh wait, this one’s a woman. She’s probably a b—-.” BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY ALL FEMALE ATTORNEYS ARE B’s! Sigh…

    • Wow. That’s just… He… It’s… I’m sorry.

    • Another S :

      I think we share a boss. Lucky us.

    • Normally I don’t condone violence in the workplace, but . . .

      • I was much closer to hitting him when he called me “babe” earlier this week (which is how he often addresses staff-“can you get me some coffee, babe?”). Thankfully I have you ladies to vent to so that I don’t resort to violence or quitting (at least until I have something else lined up…)

        • AnonInfinity :


        • He’d have a harder time calling you babe with a fat lip.

          Just sayin’

        • “I really prefer KLG, Grandpa.”

          God….he sounds like the worst.

        • Well, if you need to borrow some steel-toed boots for a well-aimed kick, holler at yo’ gurl.

        • Many thanks to all of you. I am so looking forward to the day I can finally give notice. I have dreams of an awesome “F you, I’m out!” dramatic exit the minute I get a new job (or win the lottery). Preferably with someone singing “I got 99 problems but a boss ain’t one!” as I peel out of the parking lot. [For those who might be freaking out, I am the type who in reality will give two weeks notice and say I appreciated my time here but found an opportunity I just couldn’t pass up. But I am also the type who might be playing 99 problems as I roll out :)].

          Sadly he’s nowhere near old enough to be grandpa/senile.

        • Amelia Bedelia :

          you must work for my former firm. it was the norm there.
          hence the “former” . . .

        • Senior Attorney :

          ZOMG. I think I would call him “babe” right back. “Sure, babe! Would you like one lump or two?”

    • This was not my boss, but OMGshocking.

      I was in bail court yesterday. Defence makes their submission, which includes the fact that the accused has just had a baby. Judge (who is quite elderly) asks her if the baby’s father is her common-law husband or just a one-night stand. When the accused says it was the latter, the judge tells her (and the rest of the court) that one-night-stands are, arguably, a breach of the condition to be of good behaviour.


      Yes, that really happened. In 2012. On the record. I’m the Crown, and I almost objected myself!

      • Cornellian :

        had a similar experience as a law clerk in rural Texas. Elderly ex-military judge took the wife to task for, essentially, being a loose woman.

  9. Two cents :

    Boston peeps – please direct me to a website where I can find out all of the fun concerts, lectures, plays, and others events happening on a daily/weekly basis. Right now I go to several different sites, which takes time and the ones I go to don’t even appear exhaustive (ie: Boston Globe site). I got spoiled by uwishunu in Philadelphia, and I don’t find a site that comes anywhere close to that in Boston. I would prefer a website as opposed to picking up the paper, although I’ll do that if that’s a better bet. Thanks!


    • Yup. I know of nothing as comprehensive as some of the things I used to use down in DC. I’ve cobbled together a few blogs that are okay, Boston globe, an app that alerts you to concerts, and just hearing about stuff from people into a decent system. But…yeah, there’s no single comprehensive source to Boston/Cambridge/Allston/Brookline nightlife that I know of (all those slashes that I put in there might be part of the problem).

      • Improper Bostonian does a decent job of listing events. You can find the magazine at most T stops and next to other newspaper/magazine stands and it’s free. I’m also not always a fan of group discount sites, but Gilt City Boston does have some cool events from time to time. They have an easy to use app.

  10. I get that “hobo bag” is the general nomenclature for a big, roomy bag, but doesn’t referring to a bag that retails for $500 as a “hobo” anything seem kind of Marie Antoinette?

    • It’s from the Derelicte line!

      • Love. Love. Love.

      • One of my all-time favorite movies!

        “Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique. “

      • Hansel. He’s so hot right now.

    • It’s the shape, similar to the shape of a bag made from a rag tied around a stick like an old-timey hobo. It makes me cringe every time I hear it (and sadly it’s my favorite style of bag).

      • Equity's Darling :

        Then they should call it a bindle bag instead of a hobo bag. I like the word bindle way more than hobo.

    • +1000

  11. Happy day! I just received a promotion at work! I am confident that the hive, and your suggestion of NGDGTCO, helped raise my confidence, which brought me to the next level in my organization. Thank you all!

  12. Today was my lucky get-a-job day! After I got my letter renewing my clerkship for another year, I was offered a position at a very good law firm in my city. I’m sure someday I’ll be another miserable associate, but right now, I’m so happy that my job search has finally worked out and my time in the wilderness is over :)

  13. Reposting because I posted this in the wrong section earlier today. Where do you ladies with tan skin get hose? Any brands that you recommend? I’m wearing Hanes Sheer this morning and I love them except for the color. They look so light and just plain wrong on my legs.

    • I buy Hanes Silk Reflections in suntan. I get them from onehanesplace dot com.

  14. Chi-Town Realtor Recs? :

    Any recs for a good realtor in Chicago? I am a first time buyer looking in South Loop, West Loop/Fulton River District but open to other areas as well. TIA!

  15. I’m generally a pretty good speller, but I just cannot get the principle/principal distinction down (I’m sure some of y’all already knew this based on my post earlier). Any tricks? Now, I still remember learning in middle school that the principal of the school is your pal, but unfortunately that stuck in my head as the only instance in which “principal” is correct, meaning every other use of the word is “principle.” That’s obviously not true. Help me!

    • Here’s what helps me to remember. Ignore the “principal is your pal” unless talking about a school principal. Otherwise, principal is adjective and principle is a noun. So use principle when you’re talking about a thing. “One of the key principles of negligence law…” Use principal when describing something. “One of the principal reasons…”

      • Ooh, I like this. And, adjective starts with “a” so you would use “principal” which has an a.

        • Actually, I think everyone else’s rule (use principle to mean a rule/tenet/etc., use principal for everything else) is better. For some reason I have an excellent grasp of knowing proper grammar and when to use various words, etc. but I cannot for the life of me explain the rules or why it’s done that way. It’s really bad now that I have a 12 year whose grammar I am trying to correct. “We don’t say it that way, we say X.” “Why????” Um, your stepmom has no idea actually, she just knows she’s correct.

        • But it’s wrong! The principal of a loan is a noun.

          • Yeah. I didn’t want to get in on this, but I think the best way is just to memorize it. Principle can never refer to a person, and I think principle is only ever used as a noun (not an adjective), but principal can be a person or a thing (like loan principal) and a noun or an adjective, so I wouldn’t go crazy trying to make rules to remember.

          • Yeah, sorry. Like I said, everyone else’s rule was better. :) I was only thinking in the context of the examples I mentioned (in which case principal is being used as an adjective, not a noun like loan principal).

    • Per Grammar Girl:
      Principle” with a “p-l-e” has one main meaning: a rule or doctrine. “Principal” with a “p-a-l,” on the other hand, has many meanings, including the leader of a school, the non-interest part of a loan, and an important person in a business. Your principal is indeed your pal, but an important person in a business can be your pal, too.

      I just know that I use “ple” when I am talking about legal principles or the like, and I use “pal” for the rest. Hope that helps!

    • A principle is sort of like a rule – and both end in “e”. If you could substitute the word “rule” for the p-word you want to use, then you want principle. Otherwise, principal.

    • “Principle” is a rule, tenet, fundamental truth, etc. All other uses (head of the school; amount of a loan; first; etc.) should be “principal.” So I suppose the least complicated way to remember might be err on the side of “principal.” Or, how about:

      PLEase remember this princiPLE: If it’s not a rule, it’s your PAL.

      • Hah, I just left this site to check on a webcomic I like, and here’s a recent visual that may also help:

    • I remember the-principal-is-your-pal and then keep in mind that the principal is the main, head or most significant teacher — so a principal in a business is one of the heads, the principal argument you are making is the most significant one, etc. But the principle/rule things is brilliant.

  16. anonymiss :

    Just a quick PSA:
    If anyone has a Saks Off Fifth outlet near them, I would check it out sooner rather than later. There are AMAZING deals-60% off clearance lowest prices, 30% off other items, 40% off shoes. I got a Hugo Boss wool blazer for $80, a silk Vivienne Tam blouse for $16, home decor items for cheap, etc. I would have done more damage were fall (my favorite shopping season) not approaching.

  17. It looks like WHBM has some great lightweight tops with sleeves that look like they would be work appropriate, especially under a suit… I wish I could go shopping!

  18. Godzilla — here is your new computer wallpaper:

    Is there such a thing as marshmallow fondue?


    • Yes. Its called Fluff.

    • Thanks babe, I did think it was time to retire this one

      I don’t know how I’m going to explain my wallpaper at work….

  19. momentsofabsurdity :

    I just realized something when giving someone my number. I have three zeros in my phone number (not in a row) and I apparently say one of them as “oh” and two of them as “zero.” My coworker pointed it out and now I wonder why I ever started doing that.

    • I find that saying 203, sounds better to me as two-oh-three
      but that (not my actual number!) 891-7800 sounds better as seven-eight-zero-zero
      zero as the terminating sound?

    • I have noticed that I do the same thing, and it annoys me but I can’t stop.

    • My cell is #0# and if I’m leaving a message I say “zero” and if I’m talking to a person I say “oh.” I’m not sure why but I think it sounds much more normal and fluid with “oh.” Maybe it has something to do with the number of syllables in the other numbers? To my ear, “zero seven” sounds clunkier than “zero one.”

    • yeah, i’m all 5-oh-5, 9-7-zero, 8148. I think it’s because the last thing before a pause or the end sounds truncated, as shortiek pointed out. 5-zero-5 sounds sort of labored.

    • I think that’s ok. Saying “oh” three times would sound like that episode of Sherlock where the vixen changed the sound for his text messages (are you with me on this?). Saying zero three times sounds like it’s too much.

  20. TJ– Catladies,
    I have a cat and recently took in my mother’s cat. They do not get along. My cat is 3 years old, still energetic, my mom’s cat is maybe 14, very cuddly.

    I’ve been keeping them separate as much as possible, but I’m in a new (small) 2 bedroom apartment. They’re both neutered females, indoor cats, and I think the problem is that they both think of ME as their territory. My cat followed me from room to room, and in high school the older cat was “my cat”- she used to sleep with me all the time.

    I was worried about the change traumatizing the older cat, but she’s been eating and using the litter fine. I’ve been letting them both out into the living room/kitchen at separate times, and then at the same time. There’s been a few “chase around the furniture hissing” fights, (the older cat chasing the younger), but most of the interactions happen when one will get a little too close and they’ll hiss or growl at each other until I separate them.

    Is this something that’ll just take time?

    • Usually, yes, it’s just something that takes time. There can be bigger issues, but nothing you’ve described suggests to me that they need anything but time. Do you ever watch Animal Planet’s “My Cat from He!!”? There was a good one the other day about cats getting used to sharing territory. It’s natural for cats to approach each other warily and then growl/hiss at each other over territory until one of them submits. If they are really fighting, separating them so that they have their own spaces is a good idea. But otherwise, don’t be afraid to let them approach each other and hiss it out.

      Another trick he used was to separate a space with a baby gate (not a real barrier for a cat, obviously, but something that lets them feel a little more safe from one another) and then feed them really great food (he calls it “jackpot food,” but he didn’t say what it was– I would think anything that would be a treat for them) at the same time on opposite sides of the gate. That way, they see each other and smell each other at the same time that they see and smell something awesome.

      • I’ve never seen it (but I’ve watched “Dogs in City” on CBS mmm….Justin Silver! ), but the baby gateidea sounds great.

      • Anon Analyst :

        I have My Cat From He!! set to record every week on my DVR. :-) If I’m feeling overly emotional, I will tear up sometimes at the end when the cats and owners are all happy. Heck, I can’t watch those ASPCA commercials b/c they make me cry!

      • We foster cats and have our own, and so have done many cat introductions. We don’t have a baby gate, but we’ve done something similar by propping a door part of the way and then sticking a doorstop on the inside (so it can only be pushed closed, not open) so that both cats can look at each other without actually really getting into it. We give them both lots of treats when they’re near the door-crack. When they aren’t interested in each other anymore and the hissing subsides, we know then its time for real introduction (sometimes two days, sometimes more for us). There is usually some hissing and chasing each other around, but eventually they sort it out. The older the cats and the longer they’ve lived alone, the longer it will take for them to get used to eachother.

    • karenpadi :

      As long as both are eating and using the litterbox, it’s fine and it’ll just take time. I wouldn’t separate them unless they are physically hurting each other. They need to fight their issues out/establish territory/work out animal issues.

      I have two cats. I adopted the girl-cat as an adult cat 5 years ago. About a year ago, I adopted my boy-cat as an adult. I think they are only a year apart in age. It took about six months for my girl-cat to start eating again and for the boy-cat to use the litterbox. They fought alot. I would only intervene if they were fighting on me or my bed. They still randomly hiss at each other. But I think they’ve decided to team up in order to scare me at random times. So I think they are at least allies now.

    • Self-identified crazy cat lady checking in here.

      The hubs and I adopted an adult female cat in February that initially had a similar reaction to my younger female cat. We’ve done a few things to help ease the transition: 1. We try some “co-playing,” meaning that I’ll get out the laser pointer/bird toy/feather toy/what-have-you and play with both of them at the same time; and 2. it sounds corny, but I try to make sure I’m petting both of them/loving on both of them, especially when they’re in the same room.

      That said, it did take a few months for our cats to adjust to each other. There were times that the older cat was the aggressor, and times when my otherwise sweet and non-aggressive younger cat would just freak out at the (in her mind) interloper. We’re about 5 months out from the adoption, and everything has settled down. They’re not BFFs, but they’ll play together, and there aren’t any aggressive behaviors anymore.

    • Anon Analyst :

      Another cat lady checking in. Lots of good advice so far.

      As long as both cats are eating, using the litter box without issues that is good. I have 3 cats – one male, older female, and an 8 month old stray female I took in back in May.
      The older female will hiss at the younger one when she gets close, but luckily no major fighting. The older one is a bit crotchety in general, but very sweet towards me and my husband.

      Try playing with them both individually and together so they can get out some of their energy.

      Check out the book “Cat Vs. Cat: Keeping Peace When You Have More Than One Cat” by Pam Johnson-Bennett. I find it to be a good reference guide to keep handy.

      Also, I have never had any pets up until a few years ago when I found a stray cat outside my garage. My other two kitties are strays as well. It’s amazing how these furballs have worked their way into my heart. Kitties are the best. :-)

    • Introducing two adults cats is difficult. Now that you know they can be out together without really getting into a full-on brawl, if I were you, I would always have them out together when you are home/awake to break up anything serious so they can start figuring it out. Keep them separated when you are not around until you are comfortable that they won’t hurt each other. Let them growl/hiss/etc– its their way of establishing a pecking order and boundaries, and the sooner their relationship is established, the better for all of you.

      I would avoid feeding them together for now, and maybe keep separate litterboxes too. I had two cats that mostly got along, but food was a major issue. I had to put small bowls out everywhere so that the bully cat couldn’t possibly guard them all at once, or my other kitty would never get to eat.

      They’ll probably work it out. Aside from hurting each other, be aware that they might start getting territorial and “marking” your stuff– common spots are laundry piles and comforters (things that smell like you). That is the worst– its impossible to get the smell out and nearly impossible to break the pattern once they start. I don’t really have any advice for preventing that, other than to make sure they get equal attention, and even that might not do it. Hopefully its not an issue for you!

    • We brought in a homeless kitty last Friday. There was a lot of hissing between her and our female cat (the male was not phased at all). They’re still not best friends but they’re tolerating each other now. I’m hoping that they get closer at time goes on. We’ve made sure to pay attention to all the cats and not just focus on the new kitty.

    • I’m late, but hopefully you’ll still see this. I had almost the exact same cat situation, except the pre-existing cat was the older, cuddlier one, I’d had since high school, and the newly-acquired-from-family-member cat was young and energetic. I was also worried that I was traumatizing my older cat, especially since I *knew* that she preferred being an only-pet.

      My older cat was extremely displeased with the interloper, but went back to eating and using the litter as normal after a week or two. I would say it took many months before they would willingly get within a few yards of each other (unless the young one was trying to stalk/pounce on the older one. Older one is dominant, though, and if young one is “successful” at stalking, she gets a swat to the face for it… so even if she pounces, she usually pulls up short). A few years on, they don’t play together, and they make surprised noises if they accidentally come face to face around a corner (hilarious!), but they peacefully coexist. They are curled up in their respective circle beds on opposite sides of my desk right now, in fact.

      Just give it time. Like others have said, no need to separate them for just hissing; they have to work out the hierarchy. The fact that neither of them went on a hunger strike is already a better start than my cats had together. :)

  21. Tall chick TJ – If you buy tall sizes, where do you like to shop? I have exhausted BR/Gap/ON, Ann Taylor/Loft. Like J Crew but it’s usually out of my budget. I need new ideas – thanks!

    • 2/3 attorney :

      I don’t have any bright ideas other than these, but I second this request!

    • Talbots has long lengths in some of its pants and suit jackets. Other than that, you’ve named all my general options.

    • Depends on your shape, but BCBG tends to make pants long. I used to be able to wear that brand, but I guess my body changed a bit and now the waist/rise fits a bit off.
      For lower end pants, NY&Co has been good to me in the length department.
      I have yet to find a suit jacket anywhere other than JCrew that is long enough for my orangutan arms, but I haven’t bothered to try Banana, etc.
      The Limited has Tall sizes, but I haven’t ever tried them.
      Nordstrom carries a number of brands whose pants I find long enough, but again, I haven’t had suit jacket luck there.
      Lastly, I have found that a precious few pairs pants, once the hem has been let out, by Antonio Melani, at Dillards (and maybe other department stores?), work. With flats.
      You didn’t ask, but I will also recommend going to Buckle to get jeans. I worked there through college and I have never failed on a jeans shopping mission when I go there.

    • anonnyugrad :

      Hope I’m not too late — six feet tall here! I get my jeans at Lucky Brand, my suits/jackets from JCrew, and sometimes Top Shop has great pieces. Usually I just wear skirts to avoid trying to find long enough slacks.

  22. Ladies, I need some gift giving advice. I have a close friend who had emergency eye
    surgery today. She may need another soon. The prognosis for her vision in one eye is not clear yet. Her birthday was last week in the middle of the drama. I’d like to stop by in a few days and bring her a gift in the $50 range, but I’m having trouble deciding what to get. I would like to give her something helpful or fun during her convalescence and possible additional treatments. She can’t use one of her eyes right now so books/magazines/movies are out. She has an iPad. She also has 3 young daughters and is a professional on current detail as stay-at-home mother.

    Any ideas appreciated!

    • How about a gift basket with audio books, some fancy bath stuff, maybe a bottle of bubbly?
      Or else a certificate for a meal delivered at home?

      • Audio books are a great idea, especially books that her daughters can also listen to. Or maybe a radio? Do people even have radios in their homes anymore?

      • FormerPhotog :

        Depending on the eye surgery, she could be in face-down positioning for a while, so audio books are a plus, and maybe one of those microwaveable ricepacks – my father has had several major eye surgeries and he said that the face down is awful – both for boredom and for neck/back strain.

    • Edible arrangement (fruit) or cookie bouquet?

      An audio book or some music?

      Girls night out? Gift certificate for a night of baby sitting?

    • This is a really lovely idea and I am glad you are doing it.

      Although, as someone who has had several eye surgeries and regularly only uses one eye at a time, why do you say that books/magazines/movies are out? If she regularly enjoys reading or watching movies, I see no reason why she wouldn’t also enjoy doing so in her convalescence, unless she is experiencing double vision (which is admittedly unlikely if she has a patch on one eye!).

      People have suggested food for various gifts on here before, and if she is a stay-at-home mom and convalescing, she is really not going to feel much like cooking for a while but will still feel pressure to feed the family – so perhaps some frozen casseroles etc. would be a good idea if you think books etc. are out?

      • You know I could be wrong but I thought her hubs said she’s supposed to keep the injured eye very still and I thought that would entail lots of both eyes closed – that might have been just an assumption on my part. I’ll double check. I believe the surgery is to repair a torn/damaged retina and remove a cataract (the cataract was a pre-existing problem), along with associated cleanup/repair. I don’t have a clear understanding of all the details.

        • Okay, I confirmed she can’t use her eyes much and will be mostly in bed for a few days at least (could be longer if more surgery is necessary). Thanks for all the ideas so far ladies and keep ’em coming!

    • Eye surgery can vary a lot, so i’d check. Mine has been limited to surgery to help correct weak muscles and, apart from the sutures being painful when blinking, after the first day it was mostly cosmetic (whites of my eyes were completely red).

  23. I would just like to say that today’s a suit day, and I am wearing my Lands End suit. Remember when Lands End made suits? I shoulda bought ten.

    • Mountain Girl :

      Yes – I have one black jacket from LE that is still presentable but everything else has found a home at goodwill. I loved that their suits came in talls and that you could purchase them as separates.

  24. …That awesome moment when, at 4:30, you realize that you haven’t gotten nearly enough done yet–thanks to multiple “issues” on unrelated matters popping up throughout the day–and you’re staring down the barrel of an all-nighter. I think it’s time to eat my feelings…

    • Senior Attorney :

      I know it’s wrong, but this made me guffaw!

      I feel your pain, and I hope you find something yummy to eat those pesky feelings into submission!

    • Research, Not Law :

      This described my week.

      Good luck!

    • OH so very with you. Sorry to be in the same boat, but glad to have company!

    • TO lawyer :

      this is me tonight too! I’m aiming to be out by 10… considering it’s 7:30 and I’m on this website, that’s probably not happening…

  25. PSA: Change your yahoo passwords – there was a big breach today… Gmail, AOL, Hotmail, Comcast, MSN, SBC Global, Verizon, BellSouth and, too, maybe.

    For anyone with gmail – I highly recommend the 2 step authentication set up. It’s helpful.

  26. Fashion Q :

    I bought a dress online from Theory – 40% off – and it arrived in the mail today. (Link to follow.) It is amazing: fits me perfectly, great for work, quality fabric and construction, and I highly recommend it to all other ‘rettes. The problem is that I assumed the model was tall and that it’d be long enough on 5’3″ me. It’s about 2 or 3 inches shorter than I would feel comfortable wearing to work and that is without any heels. The hem could be let out, at most, 1 inch.
    My initial reaction was to sew something on the bottom.
    Anyone have ideas? Of course, it cannot be anything inappropriate for work (lace).

    • karenpadi :

      Why not lace? I would consider a “prim and proper” lace (tightly woven, regular pattern, no huge holes) in black or a neutral (tea-colored, maybe?). To make it more prim, line it on the inside with satin or silk or add a ribbon-border to the bottom hem of the lace.

    • If not lace, then you’ll want to find fabric of a similar weight and content (for laundering purposes).

      You could just add a strip of fabric to the hem – maybe go with an obviously different color like black/gray so you’ve got the color blocking thing going. Or have the new material cut on the bias so the extra piece has a little bit of a flounce/movement.

      Or you could do a bit of an underskirt thing – where the extra fabric is not attached at the hem, but somewhere further up (maybe the lining), and then peaks out underneath but has its own movement.

      • Oh – didn’t see the link below, was envisioning more of a pencil skirt situation. Bias flounce might look weird. Have more ideas now :)

        If you wanted to be really adventurous, I’d see how hard it would be to detach the skirt from the waistband thing in the middle, and either make the waistband wider, or add your extra material there – which would bring the visual focus to your waist, which is presumably the thinner part of your figure. But…that might be an advanced level change and could alter the fit that you like so much.

        If you’re just looking for extra length, then I’d just add fabric to the bottom. The trick is going to be making it look intentional though. Maybe a fabric with a pattern that incorporates a lot of black so that the contrast isn’t so stark?

  27. Fashion Q :,default,pd.html?dwvar_C0204634_color=001&start=21&cgid=sale-womens-dresses

    (it also has pockets, btw)

    • Fashion Q :

      (comment was awaiting moderation, so re-posting)
      I bought a dress online from Theory – 40% off – and it arrived in the mail today. (Link above.) It is amazing: fits me perfectly, great for work, quality fabric and construction, and I highly recommend it. The problem is that I assumed the model was tall and that it’d be long enough on 5’3″ me. It’s about 2 or 3 inches shorter than I would feel comfortable wearing to work and that is without any heels. The hem could be let out, at most, 1 inch.
      My initial reaction was to sew something on the bottom.
      Anyone have ideas? Of course, it cannot be anything inappropriate for work (lace).

      • Colorblocking’s in. How about white or a bright color like hot pink or fuchsia?

        • Fashion Q :

          I like that idea! Might be easier to not have to match any colors, too.

      • I realize this is terribly boring…. but just a white, black pattern, or eveng grey strip might do it, particularly if it’s for work?

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