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I always like a good infinity scarf, and this black striped scarf looks just right. Love that it's simple but interesting at the same time, and it's the perfect way to just add a little somethin' somethin' to a colorful jacket, blazer, or even sweater. It's $14.95 at Affordable Scarves (also available in blue/black and pink/black stripes). Hayley Scarf
(L-2)
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Victoria
I’d love to see some advice on how to wear something like this!
kaydee
I just started wearing infinity scarves…. I got a leopard print one that I plan to wear with a simple black sheath dress (with a soon-to-be-purchased brown cardigan and brown boots), and I got a more casual block purple one. I wore it last week to work with a long sleeve burgundy tissue tee from Target. I just loop them twice and spread them out a bit. I like them because I don’t have to bother with a necklace – since they act as more of the statement piece. I’ve also done the drape behind your neck and pull through (which is common for regular scarves as well).
Diana Barry
I don’t have any bc I feel like they wouldn’t wrap the ‘right’ amount of times and I’d have some scarf left over, and then it would drive me nuts. I like regular scarves bc you can wrap them as much as the length allows.
MRA
Kaydee – where did you find the leopard print infinity scarf? Would be a perfect, classy pop of leopard for work and play.
kaydee
That’s what I thought too! I’ve always been a fan of the print just not bold enough to go with a bigger piece. I got it at The Limited.
Lyssa
Read an article today that I thought was really interesting: http://www.slate.com/id/2301449/entry/2301450/
The writer came across old report cards and records from a girls vocational school in the 1920s. They have records of the students’ studies, and also the administrators’ observations about the girls, and their work histories (which were tracked after they left the school). The writer set about trying to track some of these students’ lives and families. They would have been around the same age as my Great-Grandmother, who passed away in 2002 at age 91. Really interesting stuff, and I thought that modern Corporettes might be interested in seeing a little piece of the life of Corporettes (since they were attending vocational school, I’m going to assume that they were, or at least were on their way to becming, over-acheiving chicks) of yesterday.
Anon in the Midwest
I just read it too! Will be interested to follow the series as it develops.
J
I read that too and was horrified at the thought of my report cards being splashed across the internet 80 years from now! But I agree, it looks like a really interesting series.
LadyEnginerd
Has anyone ever used a wardrobe consultant, gotten their colors done, or in some other fashion brought in a professional to help redo her wardrobe? I’d appreciate any insight or advice as to whether this is worth the $ and what I can expect.
In the next few months, I will be defending my PhD, moving cross-country, and starting a new job. I figure that now is the best chance I’m going to have to really evaluate and purge my wardrobe to fully transition from *student* to *professional*… but I have no idea how to go about it! I have no idea what colors/cuts actually look good on me and going shopping usually ends in me feeling horrible about myself and not actually buying anything. Due to the fact that I do a lot of labwork, skirts are a no for work, which makes it even more difficult to find clothes (I’m an hourglass petite 0-2 with a little swayback, so my bubble butt makes finding pants impossible and I’ve had mixed results from tailoring).
I’m thinking I need someone to help me identify 2 coordinating neutrals that would look good on me and my skintone, a few pop colors that look good, and some basic shapes or brands I should gravitate towards (particularly given the pants issue). I would appreciate any advice you might have for me, including recommendations for image consultants if you’ve used one before (ideally in the general Chicago area). Thanks!
Bee
I “had my colors done” many years ago. It did help; don’t know if it’s worth paying for for you. You can probably find good advice in the bookstore, and you can take a good look at things you already have to see which colors work best. IMO it’s those”pop” colors that should flatter your skin tone. Choose neutrals that work with those pops. For me, I know I look better in darker neutrals and cool clear colors, and I can do a lot of contrast.
Terry
It might be worth waiting until after you start your job to flesh out your wardrobe. You’ll probably have a better feel for the office culture (satorial and otherwise) when you’ve been there a few days or weeks.
Anonymous
You can also try personal shoppers at department stores. The service is usually free, and I’ve had some great experiences with shoppers who found items from lots of different departments and even pulled sale items that were no longer on the floor.
LadyEnginerd
True. Nordstrom’s personal shoppers might well do the trick. I hadn’t seriously considered that route because I rarely see much variety online in my size, but if they can find the gems in the junior’s section that would be really helpful. What’s about the minimum I should plan on spending to make their commission worthwhile?
Anonymous
I think that depends on (a) whether the store carries items you’re looking for that fit you well, and (b) how much of the sales associate’s time you take. I would feel guilty requesting a personal shopper’s time if I were just in browsing mode or were planning to try on in-store and buy items on sale on the internet. But I also would not feel guilty leaving empty-handed if the store did not have items I really loved that fit me well. If you feel awkward, speak with the shopper over the phone ahead of time about your size, budget, and what you’re looking for to make sure everyone is on the same page.
SF Bay Associate
What they are hoping for is to build a relationship with you, so their commissions will be earned over years of collaboration. They really want you to have a good “first date” where you feel comfortable and the two of you click. They understand that over time, your wardobe budget may increase and your trust will grow, so s/he can just eventually call you and say “we got a few tops in I think you’ll like. I can ship them directly to you or put them on hold here for you to come see.” They can also stalk sales for you.
The Nordie’s personal shoppers are dynamite at working with the on-site tailors and have a pretty good idea themselves about what can and cannot be altered and what could and could not flatter you. Especially if you’re an unusual size, tailoring is *everything.*
J
I think you should be *willing* to spend the cost of one or two good outfits – so probably $250 or more. But you also shouldn’t feel the slightest hesitation not to buy if you don’t find anything you love. Like SFBA said above, the personal shopper wants to build a relationship with clients, not just make sales.
LadyEnginerd
Thanks for the feedback! I think I already have a good handle on the culture since it’s not really a big change (it’s a postdoc in a university setting. Attire is tragically informal, attitude is refreshingly informal :) I figure any purge should happen before I pack up for the move, even if I acquire new purchases slowly after that. I should have some time off before I start when I will actually have time to shop, and my thinking is that I would really benefit from having a game plan. Unfortunately, I’ve realized I’m not exactly well-equipped to make that game plan myself :(
rg
I like the way you put that ;)
Though I’ve moved more or less entirely out of academic research (though not dealing with academic researchers), I can relate. I will say, however, that I found myself wanting to revamp and formalize my wardrobe more than I expected as a postdoc.
Being a woman in a sea of men (and I’m also petite), I felt it was important to distinguish myself as scientific staff which meant darker washed jeans, flats instead of lace up athletic shoes (where appropriate from a safety perspective), sweaters or button downs instead of t-shirts, and generally a more professional vibe. I think these changes can go a long way in getting taken more seriously. It’s really hard for a woman to know what to wear in these settings, and I think it gets harder with time. But don’t allow your clothing to sell you short. I’ve mistaken tenured female faculty members for grad students because of how they were dressed, and I’ve honestly never seen a male faculty member dress quite as casually as their students. Often it means throwing a corduroy blazer over jeans for talks and conferences, but it can make a world of difference.
I’m similarly sized and shaped, but I can’t really offer you advice on pants that fit other than to keep hunting for the best tailor. After years of searching, tailoring is the only reason I can wear pants at all. I can give you suggestions in Boston, DC, or the Bay Area if you’d like.
LadyEnginerd
Thanks so much for your perspective! You’ve hit the nail on the head exactly as to why I feel it’s really time to invest in projecting authority most of the time (instead of occasionally, as is my current status) and what kinds of upgrades are necessary.
As a quick aside regarding lab safety and, I love love love my black leather Clark’s ankle boots for the lab: professional, comfortable, keeps my feet safe from chemical spills. I’m also seriously considering purchasing my own personal lab coat and bringing it to a tailor. I swim in the smallest standard lab coat sizes, which discourages me from wearing them (not good).
Actually, a Boston-area tailor recommendation would be much appreciated, as I will be visiting family there during my post-PhD, pre-postdoc gap. Thanks!
rg
Glad to be of help. It’s been a few years since I left the area, but I used to love Jack’s Tailoring in Porter Sq (Cambridge). I just looked at his yelp page and it’s got some recent mixed reviews so I don’t know what’s changed, but he’s pretty much the person who made me believe in tailoring (he once reconstructed/modernized a pair of pants from scratch for me).
Bunkster
I use Nam the Tailor, but that’s in Quincy.
L
Mario the tailor is great (Chestnut Hill).
not in Chicago but...
I purchased a wardrobe consultation/store gift card combo at a charity event a few years ago and had a wonderful experience. The store is a moderate sized boutique with both trendy and classic styles from high end designers. The co-owner called ahead of time and we discussed my sizes, build, tastes, and lifestyle. She came to the house with several things for me to try on and a variety of fashion magazines (everything from Elle to People StyleWatch). We talked about current trends and she got a better idea of my fasion risk level – then we went through my closet.
She was very reasonable – i.e. didn’t tell me to throw everything out and come to her store to start over. She put together several outfits with what I already had and suggested a handful of pieces to add. (I specifically remember that it was when metallic shoes – especially flats – were the new “it” thing.) She was also the one who introduced me to designer jeans and the fact that they really do make everything look so much better. Finally, she was great about suggesting places other than her store to buy pieces. (She bought all of her basic t-shirts at Target, even though her store carries Michael Stars and three dots.)
All in all it was a great experience and worth the money, and I will absolutely call her again. I am not in a large market, so the prices will probably be higher in Chicago, but I remember the package being valued at $250, with $100 for the gift card and $150 for the consultation. She was at my house for 2-3 hours.
Best advice I can give based on this experience is to try to find a similar boutique in your area and see if they provide this kind of service (or if they have never done it, would they be willing to for $150).
LadyEnginerd
Thanks! That was very helpful, and I will absolutely consider working with a local boutique. I hadn’t even considered that as an option, and I appreciate you sharing your experience.
Anon from Chicago
Ive used a wordrobe consultant before. I liked the experience, I liked the consultant, i did a good closet purge and she gave me a list of the few things i could use to add. In the end, though, Im not sure I think it was worth the cost, particularly if you are on a limited budget. (its like $300-800 depending on the services you get/use). That said, if you want to spend the money, I would recoomend “Julie Watson Style” in Chicago.
BigLaw Refugee
I feel the same way. I’ve actually done it a couple of times; the first time the consultant spent a lot of time discussing colors with me, which I personally didn’t find that helpful, and then she reviewed my closet with me but she mostly made suggestions that I didn’t agree with. However, she did then pick out a bunch of items for me at Macy’s that I liked reasonably well. She was moderately priced, but I didn’t consider the experience that much more helpful than just working with the free Macy’s personal shoppers (with whom I’ve had one great experience, but have been too lazy and disorganized to repeat).
More recently, I worked with one who had a different approach. She had me pick out my 10 “go to” items before she arrived, and then we discussed how each outfit could be tweaked and accessorized using the jewelry I already had. She also helped me identify some gaps in my wardrobe. I found that consultation very helpful, but it didn’t include any actual shopping and I think it was pretty expensive for the amount of time that she spent with me. also, her suggestions were more along the lines of how to look more “pulled together” and fashionable, as opposed to authoritative.
if I were you, I would read some books and then schedule an appointment with a personal shopper at Macy’s and or Nordstrom. two books that I recommend are The Pocket Stylist by Kendall Farr, which has an extensive discussion of how to dress for your body type, and Casual Power by Sherry Maysonave, which discusses how to project authority while dressing in a more casual professional setting. The second book was published in 1999, so you probably wouldn’t want to follow its example outfits very slavishly, but it lays out general principles that I think are useful (e.g. a three-piece outfit is always more powerful than one without a jacket or sweater).
K
I worked with a wardrobe consultant two years ago or so. A friend of a friend was starting a personal styling business and as I was fresh out of college and struggling with the transition from undergrad to professional life, I hired her for a consultation. It was absolutely worth the money (although, being a referral from a friend and since she was just starting, I only paid like $150).
She came to my house and spent three hours going through my closet with me. She showed me new ways to pair my existing items and showed me where gaps existed in my closet. For example, at the time, I did not own a single skirt! Now I feel like I wear pencil skirts 75% of the time – can’t believe I ever lived without them. She also showed me different ways to accessorize and dress outfits up or down. Later, she made me a personalized “look book” of different images I could use for inspiration and items I could purchase to fill my ‘closet gaps’, all at a variety of price ranges.
The biggest thing I got out of it was “permission”, as weird as that sounds. I was always afraid of being too out there, of being noticed for the wrong thing, or of anyone paying too much attention to me, so I kept my wardrobe safe and even boring at times. I feel like she gave me the permission to wear that high waisted pencil skirt or rock a chunky statement necklace or experiment with belts in different ways. She told me that at the end of the day, it’s only fashion, and you can always take it off if it doesn’t work for you. I feel like I’ve grown into and developed my own personal style in the last few years, and I think a lot of it stems from working with her.
J
Have you checked out the many petite blogs on the web, like ExtraPetite, AlterationsNeeded, StylePint, Hemmed, etc? (If you go to any of those blogs and check out their blogroll you’ll find links to more.) A lot of them have great suggestions for work attire. There are also a number of academic style blogs – Academichic, What Would A Nerd Wear, and others.
J
Oh, and the blog InsideOutStyle has advice on color theory and doing your own color analysis.
For your bubble butt/no skirts dilemma – what about a tunic over slim-fitting pants or leggings? Is that ok in the lab?
LadyEnginerd
J- What wonderful suggestions! My biggest hurdle has been filtering down the advice from stylish petites (ie. Extra Petite) to things that would be safe and practical in a lab environment.
For some reason, the tunic/slim-fitting pants look hadn’t yet occurred to me (leggings are probably off the table for safety reasons), but after looking through What Would A Nerd Wear, it might work. I will certainly make a point to try on some combinations next time I go shopping. Thank you for helping me think of some alternatives!
GovtMom
I was just catching up on old Corporette threads and wanted to follow up — SES, how are you doing? I just read the thread about your husband leaving you, and hope that you are doing better.
Also, some time back, I talked with a few people about dealing with a depressed spouse. I didn’t manage to post my email address right, so will try again … bubblebathgurl at gmail dot com. Would love to chat offline with those of you who are dealing with this; I’m still looking for resources and to get through the day as he goes up and down.
Anon
Just sent you an email.
Anon
I would love to be of help to you but I’m not handling that particular situation well in my own life so I think I don’t have much constructive advice to offer. :( I am thinking about you and will hold you in thoughts/prayers for his, and your, healing and hopefulness. Hang in there.
Meetups
I’m jealous of all of the meetups coming together in other cities so I thought I would see if there is any interest in a Baltimore meetup. Drinks after work one day? Brunch some weekend? Feel free to email me at klw0123@hotmail.com.
J
How about joining the DC meetup that’s in the works?
Divaliscious11
Whew…DC to Baltimore…longest 30 miles on the planet…..
J
I know, right? The first time I went to Baltimore, I was SHOCKED to look at the odometer and realize we’d only gone 35 miles from downtown DC to downtown Baltimore. It took 2 hours on a weekend.
For perspective, I grew up 35 miles from downtown Chicago, and that was considered a “close” suburb. It takes about 40 minutes to drive downtown on a weekend.
Meetups
If the DC meetup ends up happening on a weekend I probably will… Baltimore to DC during rush hour is just miserable.
Bonnie
I think we’re leaning towards a mid-week meetup. I’ll be sending out an email shortly. If you’d like to be added to the list, drop me a note at dccorporette @ yahoo.com
L
I just had a Corporette makeover-moment when I went out for a snack. Saw woman in black/white checked blazer (boxy), waist-length straight hippie hair in 80s clip, and thunder thighs black pants that were tapered at the ankles and too long. Kind of like MC Hammer pants. And also scuffed black flats. Sigh.
prentis
…what are thunder thighs black pants?
Little Lurker
I interpret this as black pants that give you thunder thighs.
If you don’t know what thunder thighs are, you probably don’t have them.
eek
She’s 2 legit 2 quit that look.
Ballerina Girl
Is it appropriate yet to be wearing tights in NYC? I feel like it’s too chilly to go bare-legged but maybe black tights (my go-to) are too wintery?
Ru
Dahling, when is black *ever* inappropriate in NYC?
Bonnie
Ha ha. +1 Ru.
MRA
I think it is appropriate to wear black tights now, especially in NYC! I’m wearing black tights in the office today and live in KC. The weather changes too often in the fall to attempt guessing if going tights-less is acceptable in my opinion. My advice is to go with patterned black tights though, not solid opaque just yet.
Chilly in NYC
I have started wearing coats and scarves, and I will be digging up my gloves tonight when I get home. Maybe it is too early for all this winter gear, but I am freezing all the time, so I would say that you should wear the tights so that I don’t look like the only idiot in town.
Lyssa
I’ve never understood this idea that we should be cold because it’s too “early” to wear a certain thing. Wear what’s comfortable for the weather; don’t worry about the calendar.
Lydia
I associate tights with fall as well as winter. I think it is fine to wear tights now. Technically fall starts this week and a few days have been chilly recently. I think I almost froze walking home last Thursday. I wore a short sleeve shirt to work (fine for the morning, but the temperature plumetted during the day and it became really windy). Fortunately I had gone shopping during lunch and had bought a blazer – I took it out of the bag and ripped the tags off as I was walking. I dressed for the fall today – tweed blazer, tall boots.
Ballerina Girl
Thursday was freezing! I haven’ t been going bare-legged, just wearing pants, but I am much more comfy in skirts. Tights it is! Thanks all!
Sydney Bristow
I’ve seen a bunch of people wearing tights today in NYC. I wore pants today, but I’ll probably get out my gray tights later this week when I wear a skirt. This is my ideal weather right now!
J
I prefer colored tights to black ones. Black seems more winter than fall to me. But I agree that it’s definitely tights weather!
Alanna of Trebond
Hey NYC peeps — what is the deal with the meetup? Did something more concrete get scheduled and I missed it?
Sydney Bristow
I don’t think anything has been set up yet. Not sure who is organizing it though.
Alanna of Trebond
Maybe I can try to organize something by putting something on one of the morning threads this week.
J
There was a comment about it in the previous thread with contact info for the organizer.
NYC
there’s someone organizing. Email nyccorporette@gmail.com to be put on the list.
gov anon
Corporettes, I did something totally out of character for me. I’ve been thinking about buying “the” halogen skirt for awhile. When I realized tonight that it was sold out in my size in every color but 2 (boy, you gals have been busy!) I ordered it, in a panic, in the “purple magenta” color. But I have no idea what to wear it with. Help! Are there options beside black? What about shoes and tights/hose?
Ballerina Girl
I bet a muted gray would look nice.
Porter
I love the look of St. John tweed jackets for work. I am not loving the sky high prices. I’m fairly certain that no matter how much money I ever make, I will never justify $1K+ on a single item of clothing.
I would love to find some brands that make similar styles at more reasonable prices. Any suggestions?
Kanye East
I have a few St. John jackets and I absolutely lurve them. I’ve snagged mine through sales–on their website and Nordstrom. I don’t have suggestions for similar pieces, though.
PJ
Check some of your local consignment stores with designer clothes. You can usually find some St. John jackets for a lot less money than buying new. I’ve even found some with the tags still on.
WME
Threadjack . . . please help me deal. My husband and I have been living apart for several years, which has been really tough. We finally coordinated things so that we are in the same city, mostly with me taking a big compromise on my career. (He had done this before, so it was sort of my turn.) I should be really happy and excited, but he has rented the WORST. APARTMENT. EVER. for us to live in. He knew it was really, really, really important to me to live in a nice place (like really, really, important–I grew up in poverty and it is sort of my thing to have a nice, peaceful place to live). The list of things wrong with our place is endless–the closet has an incredibly pungent mold odor (I’m afraid the smell will never come out of my clothes), none of the blinds fit the windows so the only place I can get dressed is in our bathroom, our bedroom windows used to have bars, half the appliances are broken, etc. To top it off, it is the most expensive apartment we have ever had. Husband had to pick out the apartment without me seeing it, due to the timing of our job transitions. I have no idea how he saw this place and thought it would be acceptable for us to live or how he got ripped off so badly. We both make good money, but breaking the lease is just not an option right now. Anyway, I am afraid this apartment will ruin our marriage. I love my husband, but unpacking my things into this apartment is just so hard. I probably sound like a spoiled brat, but having a nice place to live is literally what motivated me to get a good education, work hard and not live in the type of places that I grew up in. I am completely flipping out. Any tips on dealing with this? How do I keep my marriage strong when I have to deal with this every day for the next year?
Kady
I know you say breaking your lease is not an option, but honestly, given the way you’ve written about the situation, I don’t see how you have any option but to break the lease.
Porter
Yuck. I completely understand. Maybe try to get the apartment inspected for mold or other problems that will allow you to get out of the lease without paying the fee.
If that doesn’t work, I would reconsider paying the fee to break the lease. No amount of money is more valuable than your sanity and your marriage.
J
Good point – mold may render the place uninhabitable, allowing her to break the lease. And mold-related diseases can be quite serious.
Sydney Bristow
Instead of breaking the lease, could you try to sublet the place?
Fiona
I had something similar happen to me! We were moving to a new city, and I sent S.O. on an apartment hunting mission and he got a really gross apartment (which he still insists is not that bad, but… it was. It was disgusting.) I tried to tough it out for a year but only made it six months before I couldn’t stand it anymore. We ended up moving and subletting the gross place at $300 less per month than we were paying for it, just to get out of the situation.
If you can break the lease, do it. It’s emotionally taxing to live in an apartment that you hate. Blame the mold or the broken appliances, or find a subletter and take a small financial hit to get yourself out of the situation.
Lesson? Don’t let boys go apartment hunting unattended.
WME
Lesson learned! Thanks for your post. See my post below–still learning how to reply. I was hoping that somehow there is a secret to getting through this, but these replies have me considering drastic action (selling my car or heirloom jewelry just so we can be somewhere I feel safe and comfortable).
No Mold!
At a minimum, you need to get a mold inspector in there ASAP. Mold-related illnesses are no joke and can be fairly serious. I have a coworker who developed several debilitating medical problems as a result of toxic mold in his apartment. He’s since moved out but I don’t know how long it’s going to take him to fully recover. If the mold is a health risk and the landlord can’t fix it without serious structural changes (sometimes you have to rip out the walls entirely), you should be released from the lease. It’s going to be a lot more expensive for you over time if you and your husband develop chronic problems as a result of the mold.
Accountress
This. My cousin’s dorm room was flooded one year, and the school didn’t properly clean it up. She’s now allergic to tons of things and gets really bad migraines, and all signs point to those being a result of living in a mold-infested room for a year.
J
Break the lease. It really sounds like the only option. Your sanity’s worth more than the deposit you put down.
Lyssa
I agree with everyone else who says that you may have an out, given the problems. But, have you spoken to your husband about why he chose this place? Was it the only/best option in the price range and other options that you had agreed on? Did he not know about the problems, and if so, why? Did he look at another “representative” apartment that didn’t have the problems you list?
Maybe once you understand his reasons for choosing it, it will help you feel better about this as a temporary place to live. (But I’m absolutely only saying this if breaking the lease is not an option. If the smell is as bad as you say, and he didn’t get a full disclosure of it beforehand, there’s definitely an out for you.)
Anon
Ditto to this plus another thought. It sounds like the two of you need to do some more talking, because I’m hearing some anger towards him in your post. It sounds from your post below that he tried — maybe he didn’t get it, maybe he wasn’t paying attention to detail. But this is an issue that deserves some more attention.
And if this is something really important to you, I would suggest that next time, you HAVE to find a way to be involved in the apt/house search. The city may have been 1,000 miles away and you were in a transition, but you must have flown out to job-search.
Anonymous
We will definitely be working on our communication. I’m not angry, but I am disappointed because he knew how important this was to me. I don’t want to out myself by saying more, but really there was absolutely no way for me to be involved in the search given our situation at the time.
Anonymous
This blog has the best followers. Thanks for all the feedback and thoughts. Mold inspection is scheduled next week and I’ll post an update.
WME
Last two comments left by me, not anonymous. You can tell I don’t post here often, even though I lurk pretty much everyday.
T
At one point, I had to break a lease for a job change – and was on the hook for rent till they found a replacement tenant. Luckily, my sign on bonus covered that expense.
After that experience, I’ve only rented at places that allow you to break leases by paying 1 to 2 month’s rent (look for this clause in the rental contract). This helped immensely when I had to move mid-lease for personal reasons, and had to foot the cost myself.
This won’t help you in your current situation – but something to keep in mind for future.
Houda
Dears,
I am planning on buying one dress per month for the next 6months.
What do you think of the two below:
http://tinyurl.com/423cy23
http://tinyurl.com/64ss3z4
For a laid back business casual office.
Male colleagues wear pants + shirts or polos (No suits).
Female colleagues wear different things, but mostly pants with tops.
Anon
ARGH! WordPress just ate my comment. Anyway,
Dress with bow == Yes! Gorgeous.
Elbow patch dress == not feeling it. Too short, looks like a burlap sack to me.
WME
Thanks for all the comments! Lyssa–you really hit it. It was the best option (according to my husband) in our price range, and he did look at 9 other places. But, he isn’t detail oriented and missed things that should have been obvious (as well as other things that can be forgiven because they wouldn’t have been obvious). Thanks to the comments, I am calling for a mold inspector. But, three big problems with getting out of the apartment (1) coming up with the cash to move (again) and put down the deposit on a new place is next to impossible without complete draining our emergency fund and we still might not have enough (we had to tap our cash to pay for the cross-country move and deposit on this place), (2) our landlord is a complete slumlord and won’t let us out without a fight (Husband did not check out online reviews, but it is clear that dealing with him is going to be a nightmare); (3) neither of us has time to go to court to fight the landlord, but I suppose we’ll make time if we need to for health reasons. My issue is that this really should just be for a year (possibly shorter because we can save to move out earlier). Am I crazy for thinking that getting out of this situation might be just as difficult as learning to cope with it? Did anyone in my and Fiona’s situation find a way to tough it out?
L
Honestly, I agree with everyone else above that the mold, in particular, is a very serious issue. You don’t want to end up with health issues for years and years into the future because of this apt.
Yes, it will be a PITA to try to get out of the apt, but please do try if at all possible – your health is very important!!!! The mold inspector should help. If there is mold, the landlord has already broken the warranty of habitability and you should be able to both break the lease and get your money back (although the second piece may require that you go to court).
Could you ask a relative for a loan to cover the security deposit on a new place?
Anne Shirley
Just, this is what your emergency fund is for. Spend it, get out, and don’t have someone who is not detail oriented ever apartment hunt again. You have a car right? Move farther from work if you have to, but I’ve stuck it out in bad apartments before and you are right to worry it will wreck your marriage. And when you are trying to decide what to do, I find I make the best decisions when I frame it as, what would I want my daughter to do?
J
Agree. This is what emergency funds are for.
WME
Thanks Anne! Definitely wish I could have sent someone else to look for the apartment, but in a new city more than a thousand miles away from friends and family it was not possible. I also like your frame of reference and will think about what I would tell my sister or best friend to do.
WME
Also–torn on the emergency fund. If we find mold in the apartment, it is justifiable. But for the other stuff I am not so sure. If we use the fund just to move to a nicer place and then one of us loses our jobs then I would be upset that we had used our fund when we didn’t *have* to.
T
I’ve lived in apartments in the West Coast, Texas and now in the East Coast. Without knowing where you live – here’s what I’ve learned in terms of apartment hunting.
– Most reviews on rent.com and the like are negative, since upset people are more likely to post. That said, any approval rating of < 45% is a red flag
– Large property management companies are easier to deal with since they have policies/procedures in place and even departments that deal with avoiding reputational/litigation risk.
My husband lived in an apartment complex run by a slumlord when he met me. That apartment had flooding, bugs and a host of other problems. He moved in with me a couple of months after we met (his moving in with me was hastened by his crappy living conditions), but was on the hook for his entire lease – which he ended up paying.
I really hope things work out for you!