Coffee Break: Leather Belt

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This green leather belt caught my eye immediately on Net-a-Porter's story about summer workwear — while I think the jeans and jacket are a bit casual for a lot of offices, I love the combination of all the neutrals with the bright pop of green, and I think it's the kind of outfit that could easily be duplicated with workwear.

The belt itself is Bottega Venetta, and it's $320, available in both green and black at Net-a-Porter and spots like Nordstrom.

Interestingly, I can find lots of similar items from designer brands (Versace (love!), Frame) and not a ton from more affordable ones; here's one from Mango for $29, and a men's belt at Walmart for $15 that's similar. Ann Taylor also has a suede green belt in lucky sizes.

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Sales of note for 2/7/25:

  • Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
  • Boden – 15% off new season styles
  • Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
  • J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+

46 Comments

  1. Does anyone regularly wear those knit tube skirts? They are so comfy! But they really seem to accentuate my stomach (which is whatever the opposite of flat is, on narrow hip width, so I’m wider front to back than side to side or not far off) in a way no other garment does. I guess I need styling tricks b/c these skirts are like pajamas. Tucked out shirt? Elevated tee? Maybe tee tucked in and something like a denim short work over (or a “third piece”)? I inherited a couple of St. John skirts and they sit at my very high waist.

    1. I feel like how you’re describing is how a lot of thin women look after menopause – still narrow in the hips, but a little belly. And lucky you, that’s St John’s market.

      I think St John handles this with untucked blouses or tops and always, always a third piece, usually a matching knit jacket, to create vertical lines to break up the look of the little belly.

      I’m sure you are your own worst critic here!

    2. I have the same shape and I wear Spanx underneath to tone down the belly and then do a half tucked top that’s sort of blousy or a fully tucked top that’s bloused out a bit. Probably isn’t fooling anyone but it seems less obvious than wearing a fitted tucked in top and fitted skirt.

      Maybe a fitted but not tight tee front-tucked with a shirt jacket over?

  2. Anon for this – if you are in a marriage where you don’t garden, are you destined to end up as cranky old roommates who are basically splitting household chores and finances? And when I say don’t garden, I mean that maybe you garden some in your 20s and when you are trying to make babies but after 1-2 kids you basically stop altogether or maybe it’s like 1x/year after that for a few years and then you stop by age 35-40.

    I know often the answer is that the drives of both spouses need to match, so maybe there are couples happy to not garden after they are done trying for kids. I’m not in said marriage yet but long term bf and I are both low drive people, yet IDK some part of me thinks married people SHOULD garden some because otherwise aren’t you just roommates or friends? While I’m not that interested in gardening, I am someone who is big on hugging, kissing, holding hands; bf does those things now but part of me now but I feel like he’s doing it just to keep me happy now and then when we’re older and married, all of that falls away. He says that won’t happen (while admitting that it isn’t his natural inclination to hug/kiss) but I fear being that 50 year old whose had like no physical contact in a decade. How would you think about this?

    1. Can’t comment on what happens after kids, but I wasn’t super into the cuddling and little physical signs of affection before I met DH. Now I am clearly addicted to all that with him and it hasn’t gone away in 10 years.

    2. It sounds like there are two separate things here: 1) worrying that there is something “wrong” with you both being low-drive or that you can’t sustain a healthy marriage as a result, and 2) worrying that your boyfriend will stop other types of physical affection later on since it’s not his inclination.

      I personally think the first thing isn’t a thing to worry about at all. I’m low-drive with a low-drive BF too, so I’ve thought about this quite a bit. But there are so many aspects of intimacy besides gardening: trust, love, affection, wanting to tell that person everything about your day, knowing they’ll stand by you when things get rough, wanting to cuddle them and kiss them etc, feeling heard and seen in a way you don’t with anyone else. I don’t do any of those things with roommates, and for me, they are way more important than gardening in establishing intimacy.

      The second thing seems like something to flesh out a bit more. Does it feel like you’re not getting enough kisses/cuddling/handholding now and you worry it will decrease even more over time? Does your boyfriend not seem to enjoy these things and is only doing them for you? I feel like I wouldn’t be worried about it if it’s not his initial inclination, but he enjoys to do it. But if it you’re worried it’s a chore for him and it’s something you really need, it might be worth just trying to talk to him about it.

      Last thing – I think it makes sense to figure out where this anxiety is coming from. If it’s just external messaging around “gardening = intimacy” and insecurity about being lower-drive, that’s one thing. I think you shouldn’t borrow trouble and work on letting yourself decide for yourself what you want/need, societal pressure be damned. But it sounds like maybe there is also some insecurity/anxiety around intimacy with your current boyfriend, which is worth digging into. Does he meet your emotional needs? Does he make you feel loved and full of trust? Do you already feel like you could wind up roommates/friends if you took away the gardening?

      1. Along these lines, look into love languages. Yours may be physical and not getting it met may be your bucket is empty and you feel insecure because of that.

    3. He’s not the right person for you.

      DH has a lower drive than I do and we’re only 40 and we garden maybe once a month, but he knows touch is super important to me, so he’ll spoon with me during the night, cuddle with me while we watch tv, hold my hand while we’re walking or driving, etc.

      1. But this is what the BF is doing, isn’t it? OP is just worried that it will stop.

        I think that the bigger issue comes up when two people have very different drives so I actually think that the fact that OP and BF are both low is fine. But I don’t know how you solve the fear about someone being eventually different other than try to course correct when you see it happening and before it becomes a new way of being.

        1. Because the OP already predicts that her partner will stop using any physical affection at all after marriage, and he’s admitted he doesn’t naturally care for it…I’m concerned that her hunch may prove right. OP, if he has shown in other ways that he stops trying once he thinks he no longer needs to, then I think this is a valid concern about getting married.

          Or to look at it based on his nature: is it realistic for him to keep doing something he doesn’t naturally want to do, forever? Hugging and kissing are very different from household chores that you do for your spouse.

    4. What does your boyfriend say about all this? I get that gardening slows down over the course of a relationship, but to say welp, done with THAT by age 40, before you’re even in that situation, doesn’t seem great. I get that everyone has varying drives, but if you’re both low drive NOW, while dating, yeah, you very well could end up in the situation you describe. Are you guys sexually attracted to each other?

      1. This is my reaction. DH and I are probably on the higher end – 3x a day ish when dating and now around 2x a week with two busy jobs and 3 kids and elderly parents with care needs.

        I don’t think low drive vs high drive matters as long as you are matched with a partner who is the same or at least close enough. I could deal with a lower drive (but not a no drive) partner but I would need the cuddles etc.

    5. One of my best friends is in a marriage like this. He has never had a high drive, and she does, or did when they were dating. It never got better. I recall her once telling me that he wasn’t a “once a week” guy, which I would think is the bare minimum, but he was more like a once a month guy. Based on comments she’s made more recently (it’s all oblique) they don’t do it at all. She complained when the last of their kids went away to college that she’d lost her favorite roommates, and oh well, at least the house is big.

      She has lots of interests so I know she keeps herself busy, but it’s fairly clear she has lots of regrets.

      I’m a believer that sex is the glue that holds a marriage together.

      1. I know couples like this. It is sad. Again totally fine if BOTH are in full agreement on this, but often one party isn’t or needs a bit more but after 20+ years of marriage isn’t going to break up a family over it either so they just stay and “deal” for life.

        1. I wish more people would look into this as a health issue. It can be how some people are wired but it can totally be endocrine too.

      2. We don’t garden because it’s bad for me and I’m done asking, cajoling, and begging DH to do what works for me (rather than what he thinks should work for me). We are roommates and it is part of the reason our marriage is wrecked.

    6. My longtime spouse and I (both 50s) don’t cuddle or kiss much but we do garden regularly. Everyone is different and there’s no right and wrong.

      1. My long term partner and I are the opposite – lots of physical contact, not much gardening. He’s having some back issues that interfere. I’m okay with it and I’m sure we’ll garden again. We’ve gone through fallow periods in the past, but come back from them.

    7. I do know a lot of marriages like what you describe – it is common in my culture. Yes it is mostly a roommate type situation once the nest empties, though I mean better than that in the sense that you aren’t a roommates first priority in life, you don’t have those levels of trust that married people have etc. but in terms of having things in common and having fun, yeah it isn’t there like it is for most married people. This isn’t something that is always noticeable when there are kids still at home because then you are chasing young kids and even with teens doing family things. It is super noticeable and lonely at age 50+ when the kids are gone and no one is there to ever hug you.

    8. I have a marriage like what you describe. It does feel a bit friends/roommates at times but it isn’t necessarily a bad thing (for us).

    9. Have you done any reading on asexuality and the spectrum of ACE varieties? You can be both romantic and sensual and enjoy touch without enjoying or having a drive to want to garden. Or ACE and romantic and not enjoy touch, like maybe your bf. Maybe you’d both be more comfortable talking about this and figuring out what’s habit and getting to know each other if you look at in an ACE spectrum perspective. There’s nothing wrong with being there, just the same as there’s nothing wrong with being gay or bi or poly or whatever.

    10. I was not at all cuddly with previous partners, but it was immediately different with my now-spouse and we’re very physically affectionate. We aren’t the most high gardening drive couple – I would say normally medium, but it sometimes gets low when we’re tired and stressed, and we’ve had dry spells. Thankfully, those times have aligned for us so I don’t think either one of us has felt a lot of frustration when that’s happened, but I do think it helps that we never stop showing physical affection in other ways, sleeping cuddled up, etc. Everyone is different and every relationship is different, but for me, a desire to be physically close (even if there’s less gardening than usual) has been a sign that this is the right person, because I’ve never been inclined that way with other people.

  3. Anyone purchase a new jumpsuit this season that they recommend? Looking for more easy summer outfits.
    I don’t wear shorts.

    I’m a high waisted pear. I’m still wearing my Banana Republic jumpsuits from last season.

    1. Long torso-d pair here and my favorites from last year were all Old Navy/Gap/Athleta ones. Have not been looking for new ones yet this year, but that would be my first stop because the cuts seem to work with my body shape really well.

    2. I just bought the Athleta shorts one because I saw it on someone this weekend and it looked so cute.

  4. Bahhhh humbug!

    Everything is driving me nuts lately. Shorter temper for sure. Marketing head made a unilateral decision that makes no sense (think: decided to order $$ of product with our logo in red, when our logo has been blue for 75 years… without telling anyone); IT announced today it is shutting down our email for 4 core business hours on Friday aka tomorrow. Accounting shredded a client check instead of depositing it, so now I need to go back to the client and ask them to re-send.

    I’m going for a brisk short walk and taking some deep breaths, but some days I just don’t understand people. And want to fire other people. Sigh.

    1. Same! We are hiring random people at $$$ for ill-defined cost-center positions that we did not seem to have or need from all time coming until now. And yet my admin is so terribly overworked b/c we won’t hire enough people to assist profit centers.

      1. I think I’d like to become a gown person. For years, it has felt wild to wear even ironed clothes. I’d like to up my life and clothes game now.

  5. Anyone want to do some shopping for me? I’m attending two summer weddings. Both are in churches but with casual receptions. I’m 5’8″ and a size 12/14. I strongly prefer something that covers the chest (the proportions of low-cut stuff never work for me). Budget is $150 or under. My style is definitely on the classic side, but I do like a fun color or details.

    1. The Eliza J brand at Nordstrom seems to keep it right around $150 and they have lots of styles that would work well for a wedding.

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