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Updated: Jan 25, 2021 153 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Mali Pumps

Coffee Break

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I was updating some of our older posts on comfortable heels and found myself admiring these Naturalizer pumps — I love the low heel, combined with the flattering dips on the vamp. (I also did not realize that the brand 27 Edit, which I've seen a ton at Nordstrom, is a Naturalizer brand.)

They're a decent price ($110), and even better when they're on sale, which may be the case right now at Amazon, Nordstrom, Zappos, Naturalizer and Macy's.

They're available in eight colors, including beige, matte black, and an embossed black patent; sizes may be as varied as 4–12 (and in narrow, medium, and wide), but a lot of places seem to be sold out of the harder-to-find sizes.

These are some of our favorite comfortable low heels for work as of 2024… also check out CK Calvin Klein, Trotters, Sam Edelman, and Sarah Flint!

low block heel
Ferragamo
low heel with ankle strap
Anne Klein
low pump for work in medium tone brown
CK Calvin Klein
black pumps
M.M.LaFleur

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Dating World

    I’m recently back in the dating world, and wanted to get your views on a recent experience. Guy and I matched last Thursday. Talked on the phone, met Friday night for drinks outside. Had a great time, decided to see each other again for outdoor dinner this week.

    I’m seeing red flags since then. He wants to be exclusive now, worries that my hesitance in agreeing to be exclusive with him indicates that I have trust issues, and is concerned that I haven’t been calling/texting him much since Friday night. He also wants to do a weekend trip together as soon as I agree, and finds it strange that I don’t want to go with him already- because if I really liked him, I’d be willing to take a risk, jump in, and go for it. And he’s had many women go on a weekend trip with him after the first date. The fact that I’m not all in on this likewise indicates trust issues to him.

    My response that I have literally met him once and need to build up trust, that I think he’s great but want to get to know him more before being exclusive or getting more serious physically, meets with the reaction that I’m acting totally different than I did when we got drinks on Friday, that I’m giving up too easily, and that it’s “basic logic” that I should trust him because I have no reason not to.

    This is crazy talk, right? I don’t plan to see him again, but wanted your opinions on this after being out of the dating world for so long.

    • Cat

      This is crazy talk. Are you sure you didn’t meet the spouse of the person on the morning thread (the one with 2x a year hissy fits)?

    • anne-on

      He sounds crazy pants. And anyone using the phrase ‘it’s just logic’ or ‘I’ll respond to you when you’re being calm/logical/etc.’ is basically sending out GIANT red flags about how he will not now (nor will he ever) respect your feelings. Unless you’re dating Mr. Spock?

    • Cb

      He’s dismissing and shaming you for really reasonable precautions. Block this weirdo’s number.

    • Vicky Austin

      “He’s had many women go on a weekend trip with him after the first date.”

      Did they come back?!

        • Monday

          Yeah, this is so often how stories of abuse begin. It’s more than “weird,” it’s outright ominous. So glad you’re opting out now.

          • Anon

            Girl, yes. Your instincts are telling you something. That’s why you posted here. Trust your instincts. This guy is not the one.

    • Dating World

      OP here- I love these responses! I found it super weird and definitely was turned off by him boasting about how many other women go on weekend trips with him immediately. He is very attractive and comes across as charming and out going, but based on our limited interactions since, I think he’s probably manipulative and needy, with the need to always be right. On to the next one!

      • Is it Friday yet?

        It sounds like love bombing, totally manipulative – hard pass!

    • Anon

      I’d be more understanding of the push to be exclusive really soon because of COVID (I’d see it as being for COVID risk reasons, not emotional ones), but the weekend trip part is just super weird.

      • Dating World

        OP here- Nope, COVID had nothing to do with it from his view (its certainly something I consider before moving on from outdoor, masked dates to anything else – but he never raised COVID as a reason for exclusivity). To him, it indicated I wasn’t really interested in him- because, if I was interested in him, I wouldn’t want to see anyone else. And I should know that after one date…

    • CountC

      I am currently dating and this would earn him a thank you, next and he would get blocked.

    • Anonymous

      This guy is a weirdo. I’m annoyed just reading this and would 100% not deal with him.

    • Hollis

      It sounds like this is a guy who does this a lot – one date, intense communications, and let’s go away for the weekend together. When things get that serious so quickly, sometimes it fizzles too quickly too. To me, he either doesn’t like being alone (serial monogamist) or he’s just emotionally immature. Either way, you don’t have time for that – good thing you’ve decided to move on.

    • Anon

      Block him immediately and move on. This behavior has abuser flags all over it.

    • Senior Attorney

      I got swept away by a guy like this years ago and he turned out to be a malignant narcissist who was reeling me in. Your instinct is right on.

      • anon

        Yep, I also let myself get swept off my feet by a narcissist in my youth. Block this dude immediately. No good will come of letting someone push your boundaries like this.

    • Kitten

      OMG no. I would send a brief text letting him know it won’t work out and then immediately block. Having been in similar situations multiple times, there is a HUGE chance he will retaliate so just spare yourself and block before he has time to respond.

    • Anon

      Well. Last week’s date certainly seems more and more like your last date ever with this guy.

      NEXT!

    • Anon

      OMG I recently had a very similar experience. Just recently back in the dating world. I had a great date with a guy I met on the apps Wednesday two weeks ago. Then, on Friday, he invited me out on Sunday. Great! and then he wanted to talk on the phone the night before on Saturday (I don’t really like talking on the phone but OK). Honestly I had a really good time on both dates but then a week later (after some texting back and forth) got a long message about him wanting to be exclusive, ultimately aiming for a partnership, family, and kids; I on the other hand want to take things very slowly right now. Sigh, it took all the air out for me. He definitely didn’t gaslight me about it though, that would make me run for the hills. Solidarity, dating is a gamble and often difficult

      • Ellen

        This happened to me years ago as a college freshman. I met a guy in English Lit class, and Gary walked me to the student center where he bought me a danish and coffee. He said we should go out for pizza that night (I said fine), and after pizza, he walked me back to my dorm. Gary called me the next day to ask about the Lit assignment, then told me he would come by my dorm the next day to walk me to class. I was beginning to feel a little fenced in. In class, Gary told Professor James that “we were engaged to be engaged” and asked him if he could suggest a nice place for dinner. I did not know what he told Professor James, but at dinner, he told me that Professor James suggested we could make beautiful children together. I was shocked, b/c at that time, I had never been with a man that way. I told him I felt uncomfortable b/c of my period and he walked me home. He then said I should let him stay over to take care of me! I said that was not necessary. By this time, I was thinking that mabye he was a bit to clingy and called my Dad. Dad said he would come down the next day and take care of Gary. I said that might not be needed, but he came anyway, met Gary, and to make a long story short, I never heard from Gary again, and when I saw him in Class, he skulked away as quickly as he could! Thanks Dad!!!!!

    • PNW

      I see That F*cking Guy is still out there. One date and he’s already gaslighting you. Hard pass. Glad you know to move on.

    • Shy Capricorn

      I think you are right – too much too soon & seeming already to criticize your stance – good to move on!

  2. Job Offer Q

    Reposting my mat leave question from the morning thread, since I posted later in the AM and found the responses very helpful!:

    I just received a job offer, and the paid maternity leave is 4 weeks. I’m coming from biglaw, which has very generous paid mat leave. The job otherwise seems like a great opportunity for growth for someone leaving a mid-level corporate associate position and would be completely remote. In terms of other comp and benefits, the pay is solid, health insurance is worse than my husband’s so I won’t switch, and there’s “unlimited vacation” (lol ugh). This company (Corp A) just merged with a much larger corporation (Corp B) and took on Corp B’s benefits. I suspect this might explain the poor benefits.

    I’m potentially hearing about another job offer today and have other interviews in the pipeline. I do not have an unlimited time to job hunt for reasons I can’t get into online. I know mat leave in the US is not guaranteed, and 4 weeks paid is average in the US apparently (based on Google), but I’m bummed because this is a “tech” company and I expected something fairly generous. I also otherwise really liked the team, and I do like working from home and think it has been an overall plus in my life (maybe even better once we have kids?).

    Not sure if I’m seeking commiseration or something else…am I just putting too much weight on this benefit? Maybe I just need to shift my mindset? As a couple, we are debt-free but live in a HCOL area. We expect to be able to afford unpaid mat leave, plus whatever partial paid leave that California provides, and my husband gets very generous parental leave at his employer.

    I appreciate the answers on my earlier post; I’m asking the company about SDI/LTD as well to see if that is good, but I’m not expecting much haha.

    • Anon

      I think you need to figure out how this stacks with California disability leave, because my impression is that it’s fairly substantial. If they’re relying on that as the main benefit, then it’s not so unreasonable to only give 4 weeks extra, which as other posters have said, is better than most places in the US, though obviously terrible generally.

    • Anon

      I would expect STD to be good – a lot of companies rely on it because they can still offer parental leave (which must be offered to both men and women) and then the women who give birth (or in general people out for other reasons) are still fully paid for the time on disability. We had 4 weeks of paid parental leave but I was in actuality fully paid for the entire 12 week FMLA period. I also took an additional 3 months off unpaid – not covered by FMLA but my employer okayed it. I would not expect big law level leave anywhere outside of big law, sadly.

      • anonshmanon

        Side question: why would you not expect that? I am aware that big salaries and perks are the norm in big law, but generous leave? I thought that’s not something they are known for.

        • Anon

          I assumed big law parental leave was something like 6 months fully paid but maybe I’m totally off base.

          • Anon for this

            It was 16 weeks paid when I left Biglaw a few years ago, but I did know a few women who took 6 months (partially unpaid).

            Basically you’ll scarcely see your kid awake again for a few years so they throw you a bone upfront.

  3. anonnnn from this morning

    Thank you for all of your helpful comments! Spouse is an A+ partner in all other respects. Definitely not cheating – they never leave the house even pre-covid. Spouse also knows that it is their problem and that they should deal with it/get help for it (despite not wanting to go to therapy), but in the moment I have a very hard time letting go/ignoring when spouse is upset as it feeds my own anxiety, and I find that spouse stays upset for longer if they don’t have me there. I think that spouse’s issues might also have some root in spouse’s parents’ divorce (one parent left the other for one of their exes from earlier in life) and resulting fear of abandonment. I’ll try to remember to talk with spouse about it in a few weeks/months when it’s not so fresh.

    • Monday

      Sorry if this is discouraging, but I wouldn’t be so quick to rule out cheating. It could have happened at any point before Covid, and/or could be going on remotely now.

      At any rate, it sounds like you might want to look into codependency if your spouse being upset has such a large impact on your feelings and behavior. Melanie Beattie is the go-to author on this.

    • Hollis

      I have sympathy for your situation, but I’m curious how the topic of who you dated 20 years ago even comes up in conversations today. Is it related to any current-day scenario, or does he just bring it up out of nowhere? And also, whether your husband dated anyone before he met you? In my view, his bringing up these weird non-issues to force an apology/guilt from you is either controlling or cruel or both.

    • Anon

      If he’s not willing to deal with it then you need to not engage and try to fix it yourself. Don’t take on the emotional burden of his issues. The next time he throws a tantrum, you grey rock him.

      • Senior Attorney

        Yeah, this is not your problem to fix. If he stays upset longer if you’re gone, so be it.

        If it were me I would, swear to God, check into a hotel for the night each and every time he starts in on it.

        • Senior Attorney

          And oops, sorry for assuming it’s a “he.” Advice still goes, though.

    • anon

      “in the moment I have a very hard time letting go/ignoring when spouse is upset …., and I find that spouse stays upset for longer if they don’t have me there.” Are you enabling this behavior? If spouse won’t go to therapy then go yourself. This is red flag behavior and if spouse won’t deal with their part in it, you probably need to get healthier coping mechanisms.
      This entire post reminds me of similar one from months ago where the OP had a long term spouse who also had major breakdowns about the partner’s life before the marriage. It was disturbing then, and it’s still disturbing behavior from this (new poster? same poster?) situation now. Ultimately it needs to be dealt with, and if your spouse won’t deal with their own feelings, then OP please get help in setting better boundaries around this and not getting sucked into the black hole two times a year.
      Lastly – it’s easy to say get a counselor but often quite another challenge to actually find one you can afford and want to work with. That being said you may be able to help yourself here by reading some articles on codependence and boundary setting. It may help give you some tools to deal with this and help you figure out what you would want to address with a counselor. Good luck on this journey!

    • RUN

      None of what you’re saying is appropriate from a partner. Please seek therapy and/or a divorce lawyer. In no particular order. He is not an A+ partner. You deserve better.

    • Anonymous

      I used to act similar to this with my husband. (Not exactly the same, but had unreasonable fears that he was cheating, etc.) It was completely related to my parent’s divorce when I was young and had nothing to do with my husband. I needed my own therapy to sort through that. He was very patient with me, would assure me that he wasn’t cheating, but would not engage in hours long discussions with me over it. This is 100% his problem and not yours and don’t let him make it yours. I am not someone who is quick to suggest therapy, but he needs therapy to resolve the issues left from his parent’s divorce. If he resists therapy, or even if he agrees, you both could benefit from reading “The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce.” It really helped me understand why I am the way I am. Therapy then helped me change my destructive behavior.

    • Anon

      Hi and thanks for the update where you make a million excuses for your spouse.

      Both of you need to stop this pattern. You can and should say no to discussing your past further with your spouse. No good comes from it, it doesn’t solve anything, and you are NOT HELPING your spouse. Shut it down.

      Don’t say you appreciated the advice if you’re just going to keep doing the same thing you’ve always done. Wake up.

      • Anon

        Yuuup. This update makes me think OP is going to take nothing away from the earlier post.

    • Senior Attorney

      “I’ll try to remember to talk with spouse about it in a few weeks/months when it’s not so fresh.”

      This always makes me want to bust out my Yoda impersonation: “Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.”

    • Anonymous

      Your relationship is unhealthy. Healthy boundaries are good for everyone and do not mean that you do not love your spouse. If he will not go to therapy to stop doing this then you need therapy to figure out how to deal with this issue in a way that is healthier.

  4. BelleRose

    Recs for wool leggings with pockets? I got poly leggings earlier in the pandemic, and can’t stand the plasticy feel. Want to be able to wear hiking/camping, so no cotton. Help?

    • Anon

      Oooh, following with interest. I’ve only ever seen wool leggings as a base layer, not something that could be worn on its own.

      • Anon

        Ibex is the bomb! So glad that they are back. (Wrapped up in an Ibex zip cardigan that is probably 15 years old.

        • BB

          Wait, did they go away for a while? I haven’t bought anything from them in ~5 years, but do love the brand!

        • Anon

          Same. I hope the new Ibex holds up as well as the original. I’m constantly checking Poshmark for the old stuff, though!

    • Betsy

      Wool& just released leggings but they seem totally out of stock at the moment. I am interested in giving them a try once they get restocked!

    • Anon

      Icebreaker. I’m currently wearing a pair of black wool leggings with zip pockets.

  5. Anon

    For those of you who are back in the office part time or full time, do your offices have any policies regarding whether people who have tested positive for covid have to test negative before returning to the office? I supervise someone who tested positive over Christmas. She was pretty sick but is doing much better and has been working remotely for a few weeks. We are both supposed to return to the office Feb 8th. Our offices are right next door to each other. Even with masking and standing in the doorway I am not comfortable being there without knowing she has tested negative. HR is giving me hell for this, citing CDC articles saying the odds are she is fine and not contagious. The employee who tested positive is saying her doctor said she shouldn’t bother getting another test because it would be “wasted” on her. ???? She can definitely get one in the area without a doctor’s referral.

    I’m perfectly fine and happy working from home. Zero reason for me to be in the office. I am willing to go back to keep the peace with the (stupid) higherups, but I am not willing to take the risk this person could infect me.

    • Anon

      By February she would no longer be contagious. I think you’re being unreasonable.

    • Anonymous

      If she tested positive over Christmas (i.e. 4 weeks ago, 6 weeks before you go back to office), I would be fine with it. They say its typical for people to longer be contagious 10 days after onset of symptoms, or 20 days if symptoms are severe. ~45 days feels comfortable for me.

      • Anon

        Agree — more than enough time will have passed. I got exposed a week before then and put not a lot of stock in my negative test and instead relied on the non-occurrence of symptoms and the passage of time. Negative tests are more likely to be wrong than + tests, so testing when you expect to get a negative is pretty useless. I’d rather tests go the “not sure if I’m +” crowd.

    • Anonymous

      No that’s stupid. The CDC guidance is not to wait for a test to be negative. That could take months. It’s to follow the quarantine rules.

    • anonnnn

      I am not aware of our office having such a policy. I tested positive on January 2nd, my symptoms started on January 1st. I quarantined for 14 days and then resumed my “normal” pandemic life of going to the grocery store once a week, etc.

    • Cb

      Do you dislike this person or feel she got Covid acting irresponsibly? Because it seems like there is more going on here “this person” etc.

      • anon

        +1 or that this is really about not wanting to stop WFH rather than a risk of exposure from this individual, which isn’t really supported by any science.

      • AFT

        Agreed – or return to work anxiety that may be understandable but isn’t about this person

    • Anon

      Have you not been around anyone else who has experienced Covid and recovered? Is it the severity of her illness that makes you feel (baselessly) that she could still be contagious in February? You seem

      • Cat

        Not the OP, but no, no one in the circle of people I see IRL has had Covid.

        That said, if she’s symptom free and it’s 6 weeks later, you’re probably safer around her than others. She’s not contagious and has fresh antibodies!

        • Anonymous

          In my city with decreasing spread, I can’t think of anyone I know (co-workers, teachers, people I know through a stepchild, etc.) in their 20s who has not had it at this point. I’ve had one exposure (known) and who knows how many glancing contacts in public places like the grocery store. I would not be concerned re this.

    • Anonymous

      One of my parents had a mild case of Covid and recovered after just a few days of symptoms. She was told not to retest anytime soon because the test would likely come back positive for the virus even though she was not considered to be contagious after 14 days from symptoms. She was told this by multiple people who were invested in protecting others from the virus.

    • Anon

      You’re getting a lot of blowback here but I just wanted to let you know that whatever happens, I understand your feelings of concern. There science, but also, I know very few people that are back at work or seeing people outside their household in general. If I had to go from only being indoors with people in my immediate family and 7 minute trips to the grocery store, to being inside all day with anyone really, I would be nervous and kind of resentful of my employer, regardless of anyone else’s COVID ‘status’

  6. Sick All Over

    I got dragged into work yesterday afternoon/evening and was not able to follow up on the many helpful comments to my question. I really appreciate all the thoughts expressed. To answer a few of the unanswered questions — I am 48, and there may well be a hormonal hook but I had a uterine ablation a few years ago (due to out of control periods and inability to maintain enough blood in my body) so I don’t have an easy way of tracking when I should be having my period or what my periods would be like. I really doubt that anxiety or depression are the culprits, as there is no link between tough/stressful times and when the symptoms come on and I’m generally a pretty relaxed person, but I will keep an open mind. I’m seeing a neurologist since it seems like I need to start with one part of my body and it’s not clear where to start. I’m also going to seek out a GI doctor for a work up there. Sleep, diet, and exercise are all fairly solid — I’m no Olympian but I do ok. But of course I’ll double down on those things as well.

    I really appreciate all the thoughts and lists of conditions to consider. It’s nice to at least know how many things can cause symptoms like mine!

    • Anonymous

      If it wasn’t mentioned, check celiac. There are two genetic markers so a blood test can tell you fairly quickly if it is a possibility. GI issues, low vitamin D, low B12 and brain fog/head aches for a few days are what I experience when I have something with wheat or barley. I wasn’t always this way. Some time mid-30s was when I noticed waking up with stomach aches and it got worse over time and started to suck energy away. I didn’t tie it to diet for about 10 years.

    • Senior Attorney

      I started on antiviral meds and prednisone yesterday and swear to God I feel like a new woman today! Couldn’t sleep much because of the steroids, but the pain is finally manageable (I’d been taking Advil to no effect the whole time, but for some reason now it seems to be working) so I am loving life right now. (Now hopefully I won’t start digging holes in the back yard like my dog did years ago when he was on prednisone. Hubby says that would have been helpful over the weekend when he was planting tulip bulbs…)

      Thanks for asking! :)

      • Walnut

        Totally unrelated, but your hubby needs a bulb auger. It attaches to a drill and makes bulb planting sooo fast. I put 250 in the ground in no time. Best bulb planting experience ever.

  8. Japanese history book reco

    I would like to visit Japan (one day, when it is safe and all) and would like to do some pre-read on their history. I did some research on books, but the reviews leave me none-the-wiser. Could anyone recommend a good book which would be reliable (ie facts so check)? Thanks!

    • Anon

      Before going to Japan I read Japan, a short history by Mikiso Hane, but I wish I had read something longer and deeper. It would also have been good to read something in detail about the food!

      Sort of on this topic, I’ve also generally read a lot of fiction by Japanese authors, like Haruki Murakami of course but recently I’ve also enjoyed Mieko Kawakami, Sayaka Murata, and Hiroko Oyamada.

    • BB

      Embracing Defeat for 20th century history. And also love the fiction author recs above!

      • BB

        Forgot to add for food: Food Sake Tokyo. It’s going to be kind of a dated guide now (think it was written about a decade ago), but has really interesting stories/info on all the restaurants and a lot of them are long-time ones that are probably still around.

  9. Interviewee

    Has anyone here had a recent experience interviewing for an attorney position with a Federal agency’s office of general counsel? If so, what kinds of questions did they ask you? I’ve been told my interview will only be 30 minutes so I’m guessing they will jump right in. It has been over 6 years since my last interview, so any tips are appreciated!

    • Anon

      At my federal agency, interviews are very structured to try to avoid bias in hiring. I have interviewed for other positions in my agency a couple of times recently and the questions were generally of the “describe a time when you ….” variety. I was asked about my ideas for improving certain functions in one interview, but I doubt that would come up in a place you have not worked at previously. In GC, you may be asked about agency policy positions, so I would be prepared to discuss recent rule makings and/or court decisions that impact the agency.

    • Anon

      If it’s only 30 minutes, it’s probably a screener round. I’ve been a fed contractor and a direct hire in local government for a big city (but never federal direct hire) and the first interviews for both have been short and very basic screener (confirming you have the experience to match the position, reviewing requirements of the job, confirming you’re still interested in the position, etc)

      • Anon

        I wouldn’t assume this. I have had multiple interviews with different agencies’ OGC, and about half of them were scheduled to be only half an hour. They often went about 40 mins

  10. Time off negotiating?

    This question came to mind as I read the recent thread on maternity leave. I am currently interviewing for positions in the US, previous job was in Europe. I am curious, are people able to negotiate more than two weeks paid time off? Or can someone negotiate unpaid time off? I suppose two weeks is plenty for most people but I would like to know if one can negotiate more. In my case all family lives overseas, different continent usually travel is 20 to 24 hours in total. In Europe I had 5 weeks but in reality took 3 to 4 weeks to visit my parents. Has anyone managed to negotiate more time off (paid or otherwise) in a US company? I am 41 now so not sure if I will ever be a parent but still curious to hear about the same for maternity leave(maybe will adopt one day). Thank you.

    • Anon

      I have always been able to negotiate PTO up to what I had before. I have had to show evidence before that I had x amount of annual PTO.

      And no, two weeks is NOT enough for most people!!

      Beware places with “unlimited PTO” because in practice that can mean zero PTO.

      • Curious

        So interesting! At my level at Amazon this is the thing I’ve seen the least wiggle room on (but we also get 3.5 weeks total leave year 1, 4.5 in year 2-5, and 5.5 after), so long trips are doable. It’s a nice side effect of hiring a large number of engineers from India who want to go home for 3-4 weeks each year.

        • Curious

          I totally closed my parentheses in the wrong place. Should close after doable. Long day.

    • Cat

      Negotiable and generally increases with experience. I have 5 weeks PTO (25 days).

    • Anon

      I’m 20 years into my career and currently have 4 weeks PTO. Meeting the previous job’s count is a bare minimum expectation, for me. That said, Europe does get a lot more vacation than does the US, so you may get pushback simply on principle.

    • Anonymous

      You can certainly negotiate the total time off, but do be aware that most US employers have a culture that limits each vacation to about a week at a time, not multiple weeks in a row. I wish for you that you find one with a better culture, and there are some, I just want to tip you off if you aren’t aware so you can investigate that/negotiate it if that is important to you.

    • Anonymous

      It’s very company specific. My company gives ~5 weeks off, but that seems to be rare.

    • Anon

      You might be able to negotiate in the private sector!

      (Have spent my whole career in government so negotiating salary or benefits is foreign to me… but 2 weeks is never enough!)

  11. Anonymous

    Can anyone recommend books of short poetry that are poignant? In English classes I liked ee cummings, TS Elliot, Amy Lowell… not sure where to start. Thanks!

  12. Anonymous

    I own a million black turtleneck sweaters. I found a cute one that comes in black and tan (Everlane waffle knit tneck).

    I am a ruddy skinned burnette (winter in Color Me Beautiful parlance). Tan would be a no even if I am bored of black, yes? Talk me out of the tan (even though you can see the pretty pattern better in it). The other colors are no-gos for me. The tan looks pretty on the model (who does NOT have my coloring).

    • Anon

      It sounds like you don’t actually want to buy this particular turtleneck, because you don’t want/need another black ones and you don’t like the other colors.

      FYI, I find that a lot of tan colored items look weird on people with light skin — like the person is naked — though the color often looks beautiful on people with dark skin. That’s just my opinion though!

    • Cat

      Sounds like it will be a waste of time for you to order it, confirm it makes you look like death warmed over, and return it. (I also look terrible in tan, which makes me sad because I love camel-colored classics, but I’ve learned my lesson.)

    • Anonymous

      Do you mean the “Oversized Stroopwafel Turtleneck” in the color sand?

      It looks like a very cool soft taupe colour, it might work for you, depending on what kind of CMB winter you are. “Soft winter”? sure, might work well and look a little ethereal. “Deep (or dark winter)” – might work.
      “Clear (or cool) winter” – absolutely not.

      • Anon

        I feel like I have reached a lifetime cap on black sweaters, or would get the black in a minute.

        With ruddy skin and light brown hair, if you think Kate Middleton could wear the taupe, I think it’s worth a shot. I am just sick of my clothes right now (a bunch of pilly leggings) and am trying to find something that will work with denim and a bunch of green/moss corduroy pants. I ruin white, so taupe might be a winner (could wear with white cords and white jeans maybe in spring).

        I hate mail order returns now (usually I am on my A game with returns but have been driving a return of a defective item around since xmas without actually going in and mailing it).

        • Anonymous

          Kate does wear taupe occasionally, and similar colors like lavender, khaki and sage green. (I’d put her as a summer, not a winter, though. Maybe soft winter).

          Try and google Catherine Zeta Jones’ outfit for her knighthood (damehood?) thingy – she wears a lovely taupe suit to be knighted.

          I don’t think the sand taupe sweater will work with a yellowy moss green, but light/medium denim and more neutral greens would probably be lovely.

        • Anon

          Hey, not related to To Taupe or Not To Taupe

          I also don’t want to go into the post office and I have recently discovered that it’s very easy to create a USPS account online, and then schedule a package pickup. Look at the label – it usually says Returns (a type of postage that is different than First Class or Priority Mail) – because the schedule a pickup form will ask you that. Make a very rough estimate of the weight, 1 or 2 lbs is fine, they really just want to know if your postal carrier will be able to carry the package, and schedule the date. My returns game is SO MUCH BETTER now that I figured this out.

          To be cautious, take a picture of the return label so that you have the tracking number.

          You can do similar with UPS returns.

    • Anon

      I have similar coloring to you. Certain taupes are ok (There are cool taupes and warm taupes) but never better than OK. You’re better off with any of the gray tones or dark colors.

    • Anon

      I recently ordered the Everlane felted merino 1/2 zip in antler because I loved the black and oxblood soooo much. Tans are not my color, but I wanted to believe that this color could work for me. I now have an Everlane felted merino 1/2 zip in antler that I need to return to Everlane. You know what works for you. Trust it. Signed, Still foolishly optimistic

    • Curious

      If you are ruddy, are you sure you’re not a Fall? That sounds warm to me. Tan works better on Falls. Maybe I need to be educated on the meaning of ruddy :)

  13. Anon

    Late in the day, but wondering if anyone has cosmetic advice for covering a chronically red nose? I feel like Rudolph here.

    I know I have rosacea and use metrogel daily, and azelaic acid at night. I don’t drink much (in case the incorrect association still exists) but I do have chronic allergies where I dab at my nose frequently. I try not to touch the top of my nose when doing this. I’ve had laser treatment for specific broken capillaries, but it doesn’t seem to do much for general redness.

    Anyway, I need to cover it. It shows up a lot on zoom and facetime. I wear a BB cream but it doesn’t really do much for the nose in particular. When I try concealer, I get a lot of “texture” that looks worse than a red nose. Can anyone relate? Any suggestions?

    • Curious

      Paradoxically, you might need less concealer — it can be enough if it’s a light layer under BB cream. But concealer shouldn’t give you that much texture! Have you tried a few options? What about a powder concealer like from Bare Minerals? It isn’t realistic for this to work all day, but I can get 4 hours out of concealer +BB.

      • Anon

        Thank you. I have tried Nars, Natasha Denona and the Elf camo one everyone says is a dupe for … something more expensive, I can’t remember what. I often have a shade mismatch so my nose isn’t red but weirdly yellow or something. But mostly it has been texture where the concealer doesn’t sit on the surface but sinks weirdly into pores and looks uneven

    • AIMS

      You need something with a green tint to even you out. Dr Jart makes a redness correcting cream and there are others. i agree that concealer may be too heavy for your nose but you can always thin it out a bit with a little moisturizer. There are also green tinted dusting powders.

      • AIMS

        The Dr Jart cream is called Cicapair Tiger Grass – I haven’t tried it but love their other products and it looks like it has great reviews.

        • Anon

          Thanks. I have the color corrector with the SPF. I find it too drying on my entire face but maybe I will try it just on my nose like a concealer. I use the dr Jart BB cream so maybe the two will work together.

        • Anonymous

          I have tried several of the tiger grass products and they really cover up the red. I use one daily. I use the Color Correcting Treatment by itself on weekends. For work days, I use a few drops of the camo under my bb cream. The camo is a bit drying but works well to hide the redness on video calls.

    • Anonymous

      I would consider foundation instead of BB cream, to give you more coverage, and powder to make it stick. You may be able to then skip the concealer. If not, I like the Maybelline concealer, I find it works better than the expensive ones I have tried.

    • Worried

      If you are still reading, I have used dermablend flawless creator drops. This is a foundation that is buildable and you use the drops and add them directly on to your skin as foundation, or on top of sunscreen, cream or primer. I think there is a drugstore dupe by nyx or L’Oréal, but I haven’t tried these, though I hear they work well too. I like that it is lightweight with good coverage of some darker spots and a bit of redness on my skin. It almost works better than my concealer, as long as I’m careful that it doesn’t settle into fine lines.

    • Anon

      I have rosacea and some darker sun damage spots, and IT cosmetics CC+ Cream with SPF 50+ has worked really well if the color range can work for you. It’s a bit yellowish in the range but the Fair-light worked for me when the other colors didn’t. No texture, not drying on my older skin, I use a beauty blender sponge to put it on. Looks good on Zoom and in person.

      • Anon

        Thank you. I did find IT cosmetics too yellow when I was trying to find a new Bb cream.

        • Anonymous

          I also found the IT cosmetics BB cream to be too yellow, but I have had good results with IT’s Bye Bye Redness cream for general ruddiness. You can wear it alone or under foundation.

    • anon

      Fellow rosacea here. I’d go with a medium coverage foundation instead of BB cream. Concealer is going to be too thick and give you that texture issue. Green tinted primer also can be helpful.

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