ByKat Hours Updated
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Coffee Break: Dagger Y Necklace

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Heather Hawkins Dagger Y Necklace Shopbop added a ton of new things to their sale today (including a lot of DvF dresses, Equipment blouses, Theory pants, Black Halo dresses, and more), so I thought I'd peruse the sale section for something for the coffee break — and I love this garnet necklace. I think the Y shape looks delicate but still makes a statement, and it's an interesting take on the regular pendant necklace. It was $164, but is now on sale for $131. Heather Hawkins Dagger Y Necklace (L-all)

Sales of note for 4/21/25:

  • Nordstrom – 5,263 new markdowns for women!
  • Ann Taylor – 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 40% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles
  • Brooks Brothers – Friends & Family Sale: 30% off sitewide
  • The Fold – 25% off selected lines
  • Eloquii – $29+ select styles + extra 40% off all sale
  • Everlane – Spring sale, up to 70% off
  • J.Crew – Spring Event: 40% off sitewide + extra 50% off sale styles + 50% swim & coverups
  • J.Crew Factory – 40%-70% off everything + extra 70% off clearance
  • Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Earth Day Sale: Take 25% off eco-conscious fabrics. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Madewell – Extra 30% off sale + 50% off sale jeans
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 30% off entire purchase w/Talbots card

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

106 Comments

  1. Can I get some bag recommendations? I’m looking for a casual daily bag (I’m gonna be a grad student again next year!) that I can fit an 11″ macbook air, a small notebook, phone and wallet into for daily use. Ideally, it would be something with a long strap (and could have handles) that I can wear crossbody. I’ve looked at the MBMJ natasha (which is too small to fit a macbook air), the kate spade little minka (which can baaarely squeeze a macbook air into it) and am looking for something similar in look, price range (<$400-500) in black. Anyone have anything that they like?

    4. The Lo and Sons OMG in black for $275 would be good (links to follow) or the Brookline in black for $198 (don’t know if you could do crossbody on the brookline, but def on the OMG). I have the OMG and it fits my 13 inch laptop, ipad, wallet, lunch, pashmina, keys, phone, lotion, lip balm and assorted other items, plus it fits under the seat in front of me on the plane.

      http://www.loandsons.com/shop/the-brookline-tote?product=60
      http://www.loandsons.com/shop/the-brookline-tote?product=60

    5. When I went to law school I got the most fabulous leather bag. I soon realized, however, that carrying a laptop and books in it made it very, unbearably heavy. I don’t know how much you have to carry and whether you will be commuting by car or (like me) public transport, but just something to think about. If I was going to school, I’d get a nylon or canvas tote.

      That said, if weight isn’t an issue, I think this bag is kinda fabulous (and comes in more sedate colors): http://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/MARC-by-Marc-Jacobs-Too-Hot-to-Handle-Mini-Tote-Bag-Lipstick-Red/prod155950014_cat40860745__/?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%252Fcategory.service%253FitemId%253Dcat40860745%2526pageSize%253D120%2526No%253D120%2526refinements%253D19%252C&eItemId=prod155950014&cmCat=product

      1. Uh, why do you all care about Nousha so much? You know Kat can block her if she likes, right?

        2. That wasn’t me but it’s annoying because it’s that fake cheery tone that people who are spamming use.

          Nousha, I’m not clicking on your site – why don’t you contribute to the community instead of spamming all the time?

          1. My name is Nousha; I’m a graphic designer, living in Southern California and I’m not a spammer! I have a blog called ClosetMixer and I write about fashion and work outfits.

        1. I’ve never seen you self-promote shamelessly. Usually you respond to someone else paging you because of a specific question/request about jewelry.

          1. Agreed. And Kanye makes and sells jewelry (and participates in other ways). Not a competing fashion blog that shows up in every post. It gets old.

      3. I agree. We speak of Kanye East’s amazing jewelry but her posts don’t all ask people to look at her blog. The hyperlink on Nousha’s name is fine but the repeated invites to her blog are irritating.

    2. I clicked over to Nousha’s blog a few times and I like it! I really don’t see what the big deal is. Sometimes things get so territorial around here…

  3. Speaking of returning trends: the Y necklace. Don’t like the way it’s styled here, but I can see this working well with the right outfit.

    Tinted moisturizer that won’t cause break outs?

    I’ve been using Sonia Kashuk and have been very happy with the coverage and feel, but it causes me to break out. In fairness to Mrs Kashuk, I typically wear either that or nothing, so the breakouts could be the price of admission for daily foundation – but I’m hoping not.

    I did a search on this site and found that Laura Mercier is a favorite. I tried Clinique (admittedly about a decade ago) and hated it, too sheer and greasy. I’ve liked the few smashboxx items I have, so I’m considering going there next.

    Or should I be looking into BB creams?

    I have normal, maturing-but-not-yet-mature skin. On the sensitive side, not generally prone to break-outs. Looking primarily for light everyday coverage to balance redness and slight discoloration. Bonus if it works well with concealer and foundation for full coverage days and special events.

    1. I got the Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer for Christmas. It was ok for a few weeks, but my skin started breaking out. I switched back to Bare Minerals and all better. I’ll be interested to read responses because for me, LM wasn’t it.

    2. Not sure about breakouts but I have been on a quest for a new tinted moisturizer for a couple of years since MAC reformulated theirs. I bought several of them and just recently ran out. My criteria – I like the “feel” of it (not too dry feeling), it doesn’t bother my eyes or my sensitive skin, doesn’t smell funny, goes with my skin color. One of the ones I liked at Sephora didn’t have any that went with my skin color. I had narrowed to Josie Maran and Urban Decay when I discovered that MAC has a new BB Cream. Tried it and loved it. The MAC salespeople said it tends to be really light, so my friend who has olive-y skin couldn’t use it. I use the lightest color. The next color up looked pink on my skin (but I’m very pale and peachy). I’ve been using it for a couple of weeks and my skin looks fantastic.

      1. Sounds like we’re looking for the same thing with similar skin! I haven’t been very happy with my MAC foundation, but your review has earned them a second chance with BB cream. (Although I really like the concealer, while it seems most people don’t – go figure).

    3. I switched to La Mer awhile back & am happy with it. The tinted moisturizer is, I think, actually called “spf tint,” and I like it because otherwise I have trouble finding sunscreen that doesn’t make me breakout. I layer it over moisturizer. The foundation is a little more coverage than I want, but it’s good for events, and it’s never caused me to breakout.

    4. I’m a recent convert to all things Tarte makeup, and I love their BB cream. I used to wear the Amazonian clay foundation (and still do for special occasions), but for every day wear, I love the coverage, feeling, and simplicity of the BB cream. I can’t say enough good things about Tarte cosmetics at this point.

      1. Tarte blush is to die for. Have been less impressed with the mascara, but the blush is seriously amazing.

      2. Tarte has the best eye shadow base too! My shadow actually stays on for 10 hours, as opposed to the 2 I get with no base and the 4 I get with other bases I’ve tried.

    5. I think the Garnier BB cream is a pretty good tinted moisturizer. I like it better than the expensive BB creams. I do put on regular moisturizer before using it, though.

    6. I also break out from some makeup and it seems to be a bit of a learning process what my skin likes.

      I would recommend going to a good dept store or a sephora and getting trial vials of all the tinted moisturizers/bb creams that you are interested in. I never realized that they would do this but stores will give out little tiny vials of whatever your interested in. Usually, its enough to try it for a couple days to see if it works for you before taking the plunge and purchasing.

      Also, I would make sure that you are taking all of your makeup off at night. Skimping on the face washing will definitely result in breakouts a couple days later for me.

      1. Agree on your last paragraph. I use LM tinted moisturizer, and love love love it. It matches my skin perfectly, looks very natural, and wears well. It doesn’t cause break outs, as long as I wash it all off. I use my clarisonic before bed, and it’s fine. If I get lazy about washing my face, I will get breakouts.

      2. I am breaking out fairly regularly even with washing – but you’re correct that I can’t even get away with not washing my face once without a problem.

        Thanks for the tip on the samples. I would have never thought to ask!

    8. I use the LM tinted moisturizer and love it. It lasts quite a while, isn’t too sheer or too opaque, matches my skintone and blends easily. The line comes in 3 formulations: regular, oil free (which I use), and illuminating. Perhaps try the oil free version if you are concerned about breakouts?

      Also, I think a thin layer of regular moisturizer and/or sunscreen underneath the tinted moisturizer does wonders for keeping the makeup in place and protecting your pores from getting too clogged.

    9. I love the Boots No 7 Soft and Sheer tinted moisturizer. Doesn’t dry my skin and evens out my complexion. I am acne prone and this doesn’t make me break out.

    12. A few weeks (months?) ago there was a thread about skin routines and I was shocked at how little makeup people use. I’ve always had good skin but thought that I had to buy tons of makeup to have a professional look. The thread inspired me to simplify my routine and to try over the counter (aka: wal-mart) products.

      With that said, I’m surprised with how this thread appears to support high end (and expensive) products! So here’s my two cents from what I did:

      After experimenting with several items (which was a hassle, I’ll admit, but for the long term investment I think it was worth it), including tinted moisturizers, bb cream, and foundation, I absolutely love my routine now! On work days I wear Aveeno Active Naturals Positively Radiant Daily Moisturizer and Covergirl Outlast Stay Fabulous 3-in-1 Foundation. I’m telling you–this foundation is simply awesome. I use only 2 minor squirts for light coverage and it lasts literally ALL day (no shine!!). I then dust with Covergirl Professional Loose Powder.

      On days when I need coverage for just a few hours, I will use the Aveeno Active Naturals Clear Complexion BB Cream. It’s really great but I noticed that it will streak or fade after 4 hours.

      Good luck!

  4. TJ–I wanted my boyfriend to propose with a diamond ring on Easter, but instead he got me a chocolate bunny from CVS. My parents and I were MORTIFIED! Any ideas how I can force him to get off his rear already? I’ve been with him for over a year and have done everything for him. Help!

    1. Ellen is usually excellent at giving advice like this, hopefully she will respond to you.

    2. He gave you a chocolate bunny or he proposed with a chocolate bunny but no ring? In my (granted limited) experience, if you want to marry someone, you should sit down with them and have an adult conversation about it. The “dropping hints” until they surprise you with a proposal method doesn’t work so well.

    3. Are you sure the ring wasn’t INSIDE the bunny? I would’ve bit off the head of the bunny in front of everyone just to make sure RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRR

    4. Is this a spam comment? If not, it’s time for a legitimate conversation to make sure you two are on the same page.

      Also–why were your parents mortified that your BF gave you chocolate on Easter? I”m not seeing the problem.

  5. TJ time: how do you fire someone for cause, when the triggering event happened a while ago? The “employee” in question is my regular babysitter/nanny (right now about 12 hours a week, but she was 20 hours a week from Month 4 to Month 16 of my son’s life — he recently started part-time daycare.) I need to find a new babysitter before I can fire her.

    The shortened version of everything is that my son had a fall about a week ago — I was working from home in the next room and the babysitter was “watching” him. She initially told me a story about how he fell from the armchair cushion, sliding down with the cushion and then whacking his head. But she kept expressing concern (even texting when she went home). I told her repeatedly I wasn’t concerned if the fall was just from the cushion, but if it was higher (such as the windowsill, where he can climb up to on his own) then I would be concerned enough to take him to the ER. After I askd a few times she admitted that she had not been in the room when he fell and didn’t know what height he fell from.

    This was hours after the event, we’d already called the doctor (since I didn’t trust her initial story even then) and by the time I saw her text he was in bed, and I thanked her for her honesty and told her I understood how it could have happened. But now the thing that bugs me is that initial story she told me… this long detailed thing (she even demonstrated) about the cushion sliding to the floor (although yes, if you’re being paid to watch someone then you should be, you know, watching them).

    To back up: in the time we’ve known this babysitter we’ve nearly fired her twice before. She calls in sick about twice a month (usually an hour before she’s due to arrive), regularly arrives 15 minutes late, lacks common sense (she once fed my son a turkey sandwich she “found” in the stroller, when it had obviously not been refrigerated for at least a half a day), etc. We’ve suspected her of lying to us in the past (e.g., calling in sick because she had to “go to the emergency room,” then not answering texts for a full day, then texting in the middle of the night that it was OK because she took a Midol) but never caught her outright in a lie before this.

    We’ve kept her because I do believe she loves my son, because she and I generally get along (and I work from home most of the time so that is a big factor), and (honestly) because all of the other times we nearly fired her it was a “bad time” to hire a new nanny — my son was dropping a nap (which was difficult for him but would also affect a prospective hire’s schedule), he was teething, etc. And, to be honest, of the other nannies we’ve interviewed none really knocked our socks off, and so we kept our current one as a “best of the worst.” She knows that she’s come very close to being fired in the past, and we’ve talked about a lot of these issues ad nauseum, but nothing has ever really been “fixed.”

    But now — with this recent outright lie — my husband and I just couldn’t forgive ourselves if something were to happen to our son in this woman’s care. (“Woman” = 22 years old.) So I’ve started contacting new babysitters to interview, starting that whole progress again.

    So here are the questions: what do we say when we finally fire her? Part of me (a strong part) wants to lie and say that he’s going to be spending more time in daycare. But part of me feels like I owe it to her to tell her she’s been a sh&tty nanny and we’re firing her because we don’t trust her. To make matters worse I know this woman lives paycheck to paycheck, that my firing her is probably going to leave her in financial straits, and that I can’t in good conscience recommend her to other mothers looking for babysitters.

    How do I do what I know needs to be done?

    1. Don’t lie to her. Sit her down and tell her that she must be aware that she has made several mistakes since she started working for you and that, given that your son’s safety is at stake, you don’t feel comfortable with her working for you anymore. If the last one was more egregious in your eyes than than the others and not just the last straw (and I think I would feel that way — she wasn’t in the room and she lied about it, even when it affected how you would handle your son’s medical treatment) I would tell her this. Decide in advance what you’re comfortable offering her. Can you afford to give her severance of some kind? (A week’s pay? Two weeks?) As for references, I would also decide that up front and address it with her. I would say that if she needs you to confirm her employment, you would be happy to do that but that you feel you would not be the best candidate to serve as a positive reference for future nanny jobs. She’s very young. She’s likely to take this hard, and she’s likely to have to scrape a bit to get by. But it’s no help to her if she doesn’t understand why she’s being fired. You can’t give her self-awareness (and she might decide you’re just a b—-ch) but you can give her the chance to learn.

      1. What is the problem? Do not worry, just fire her. You do NOT legally need a reason, at least in NY State. You should get an OHPAIR from Ireland or somewhere else who will be better for you.

        Rosa has come home and everyone is paying ALOT of attention to her and to Tina Leigh. Both are ADORABEL, and I would NOT even hesitate to get rid of someone who is NOT attentive to the baby. Grandma Leyeh is acting like she’s 50 again (say’s dad) and mom is dancing around feeding everyone while Rosa rest’s! Yay for Rosa! I want to have a Baby also! Then I can have everyone pay alot of attention to ME! Yay!

        The manageing partner says he has a freind in Thornwood, so he want’s to stop by to see the Baby. I will have to ask Rosa — she has not met the manageing partner, tho she HAS spoken to him on the phone when she calls for me but I am out. I think the manageing partner wants to see if Rosa look’s like me. I told him she is a prettier VERSION of me, so that is probabeley why he want’s to meet her (and the BABY of course).

        I also think the manageing partner misses me. This is the first time I have been away from the OFFICE and not far away (like Saint Louis or Baltimore or San Francesco). I told the manageing partner I will send picture’s to Lynn and they can see the baby tomorrow. But I think the manageing partner just want’s to see Rosa, and Rosa does NOT like to come in to the City so this may be his best chance. He also likes my dad so he can see him too. My dad is busy doing SPREDSHEET’s for ED trying to set up a 529 college fund for Tina. She is so young, and already college? I guess so. Dad is VERY smart, and he probabeley get’s a deduction for the 529 plan. I realy do NOT know much about it.

        Grandma Leyeh is serving Matza Ball soup…got to go, YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    2. Ugh, this is hard. I give this advice knowing how delicate child-care issues are (and also having a nanny).

      But you simply have to terminate her. A lot of the previous things could be chalked up to “Oh, she’s flighty but she’s so good with our son,” but this instance is more than an outright lie. Not only did she lie to you, she lied about something that potentially could have a material effect on your son’s health and wellbeing.

      I think you should tell her why you are firing her – not only will it send the signal that lying is NOT OK, but maybe she’ll take this as an opportunity to improve. I don’t think you have to tell her that you can’t give a recommendation (unless she asks…which would signal she’s even more dense than you think), and I think you can feel bad for the financial situation that she will be in. But you can’t let that affect your decision. She is the one that lied and wasn’t watching your son – so it’s her fault that she is in this situation.

      I’m sorry you’re going through this. Looking for a new nanny is the worst…I’m not looking forward to having to do it when we have our second child later this year (current nanny can’t do both kids). Good luck!

      1. I actually think it would be kinder to address the reference part up front. Because the nanny is young and inexperienced, she might just give the OP’s name to a potential employer, putting the OP in the awkward situation of having to respond to a phone call about the nanny. I think it’s better to have her understand exactly what she can and can’t expect from the OP.

    3. I would tell her the truth. Don’t feel bad that she will be in dire financial straits, that’s her fault. If she wanted better financial security she should have a better career. Don’t blame that on yourself. I wouldn’t tell her she’s been a shitty nanny, persay, but you could say something to the effect of “This is the third issue we’ve had with you and we simply don’t feel our son is safe after the last incident. We cannot give you a recommendation”. I mean if she was anyone but your nanny/babysitter, like if she was a direct report at your 9-5 job, would you allow her to come in late, lie to you, and make shoddy decisions for this long? Probably not. Stop letting her have the control and find a new nanny.

    4. OP here — the other question if you guys have any wisdom: how do I actually do it? I intend to sit her down one day after she’s put my son down for his nap and break it to her, give her two weeks (or 3 weeks if I’m feeling really horrible) severance, and then say goodbye — but it seems cruel that the last time she sees my son is not one she knows is going to be the last time. But you hear every day of nannies and other caregivers doing crazy things with babies — I wouldn’t even want her to hold him one last time. Am I being completely horrible and cruel in wanting to do it like this?

      1. No. I don’t have kids yet but, jeesh, the lady left the room while watching a 16mo old! My understanding is that kids that age seem to have a death wish and will climb anything, touch anything (hot, sharp, whatever), eat or drink anything. If it won’t wake your son up, and if she asks, you might allow her to peek in on him (with you hovering in the background) before she goes, but that’s it. You definitely don’t want to create a scene by letting her say good bye while he’s awake and then have her wind up crying, upsetting and confusing your son, and upsetting you.

        Also, I’m not saying you’ll do this, but be careful not to apologize for letting her go. It’s one thing to say you’re sorry this has to happen, but you’re not only within your rights to do this, it’s your duty to your son to find him a new nanny.

      2. Gavin de Becker has good advice on how/when to fire someone–I’m pretty sure he is the one who advises that you fire someone so that you cause the least disruption to the routine (e.g., if you fire someone on a Friday, they normally have the weekend off anyway).

        It isn’t cruel to fire someone for not doing the job you’ve hired them to do. I might reframe a bit to focus on reliability more than trust, because talking about trust can pretty easily turn too emotional, when you’re already feeling stressed.

      3. I would proceed as you proposed. You seem like a nice person, very concerned about her well-being, but she’s an adult and should be able to process that it’s best for your son not to witness an uncomfortable conversation, and given her behavior, you don’t want her to have any more time alone with him after your discussion. I’ve had several nannies of this age (never again!) and I can tell you, some wouldn’t hesitate to text you and tell you they are not coming tomorrow if they got a better job. One of my nannies of this age was late picking my son up from preschool because she was buying an anniversary present for her husband. She told me she was “stuck in traffic”, but told my son the truth when she arrived at school. Another one asked my child to play quietly in another room so that she could study. You really have to think only of your best interest and that of your son.

      4. If I were you I’d do it as soon as possible. Right now, she’s probably being extra careful after the falling incident, but if she’s been that lax before, chances are she’ll slack again soon. I wouldn’t necessarily wait until you had a new permanent nanny lined up but rather let her go now before too much time passes. Can you cobble together those 12 hours with help from family, friends, you & husband taking some vacation time, asking friends who have part time nannies if their nanny wants a few extra hours for a few days, etc? Or any chance you can extend his hours at daycare to eliminate the nanny altogether? The further away the incident gets, the more likely there will be another issue, or a new issue.

        I agree with others that you should let her go as soon as you can, and tell her that you are letting her go for being careless and then lying about it as well as being unreliable and that you would not recommend her to other families due to this situation. I think its up to you whether to let her see your son one last time, but that letting her hug him goodbye if you think she can do it without making a scene, with you in the room, would be a nice guesture.

        1. I’m sorry you have had this aggravation! No expertise here (before our child was old enough for all-day preschool we used child care providers who worked out of their homes) but a question: it seems to me that your son deserves to see his nanny one more time. Why should he have to wake up from his nap to No More Nanny? If it was a loving relationship, surely he will grieve at her unexpected absence. Sixteen months is not to0 young for him to do this, and you don’t want him to be puzzled about why this flaky but loving person has suddenly vanished from his life. (Heck, lots of kids have flaky but loving parents for their entire childhoods–not defending this, just saying it happens.) Give them both closure, just make it an occasion when you can be present. If your son has questions afterwards, you can tell him honestly that Nanny had to leave, or that she had to leave because she made a mistake in not keeping him safe. You can tell him that it’s sad that she had to go away, but arrivals and departures of loving people do happen. You can tell him that he and she can still think of each other even if they will no longer share the same daily routine. You can also reassure him that the other key adults in his life (you, DS, grandparents, etc.) are not going anywhere.

          Follow this or not as you see fit. I’m happy to spin advice out of my own experience, or out of thin air, but I’m not trying to practice child psychology without a license.

    5. I honestly think you are being far too considerate. I would have fired her already and would not give her any severance pay. She lied about what could have been a serious injury to your baby, caused by her own negligence. I understand that kids get hurt (I have three), but her not knowing what happened and then lying about it would put me over the edge and I would have fired her that night.

    6. I’m with the others–fire her immediately. Having had a so-so nanny and then a great nanny, I was surprised by a number of things: I no longer felt “hostage” to my nanny (great nanny understood that I left a cushion for relaying info in the am, but that as a childcare professional, I expected her to be on-time just as I am on-time in my professional life); I also have less mama-guilt knowing that my child is with someone who loves him and is 100% honest with me.

      Our first nanny was just “ehh.” I chose her bc I had no experience and tolerated her for the same reason. There was a combination of life events that led to my letting her go. But we haven’t looked back since.

      I’ve had luck searching on SitterCity dot com and care dot com, if that helps in your search.

    7. You are entitled to far more from your nanny. You should not have a nanny who calls in sick all the time, lies to you, and neglects a toddler who is capable of climbing up onto the windowsill.

      I would fire her on a Friday, get her keys, and tell her never to come back. Give her 2 or 3 weeks’ severance, of course.

      Honestly, your son is going to be fine and is too young to really understand saying goodbye. We LOVED our nanny, and when it was time for my son to start school at age 2, I was really worried the transition would be hard. They were very attached and she was super loving to him. He asked about her for one day and then moved on to something else. Kids are resilient.

  6. I am staying at a friends house this weekend (her family’s house) I am going to bring wine but would also like to bring a DC themed or unique hostess gift (I am coming from DC.) any ideas?

    1. Georgetown cupcakes. I know people have different opinions, but they are actually good. You can get beer brewed from different president’s recipes at the Mount Vernon gift shop (if you are near there and have a car, I know that’s a pain). Lush bath bombs and products are always good hostess gifts in my mind.

      1. I should have mentioned I am flying, so I have to be able to fly with it. The georgetown cupcakes are a good idea though, thanks!

      2. Former D.C. resident here. When I moved back home to NOLA, one of my best friends gave me some coasters that a lady at Eastern Market sellers. They have beautiful D.C. photos on them. It’s always nice to use them. I think my friend said the lady selling them is from New Orleans, too, if that is helpful.

    4. Hill’s Kitchen has some DC themed stuff (cookie cutters, kitchen towels, serving dishes) and is a locally- (and woman-) owned business.

  7. Anyone have good recommendations for a concealer? I have light skin and I get dark circles under my eyes that are often sort of a very reddish purple (lovely, right?). I have some Bobbi Brown corrector and concealer, but I’d prefer to have just one product (and I’m not 100% thrilled with the coverage these offer). Anyone have something they like?

    1. I use boi-ing from benefit and really like it. It matches my pale skin well, isnt tricky to apply (i just use my finger), and stays put all day.

      1. Echoed. Boing concealer is a must-have.

        Hilariously, I only am really obsessed with two makeup products: Tarte blush and Boing concealer – and both are subjects of discussion today! I promise to stop talking about my makeup now.

        1. I’m gonna try this. I currently use the MAC concealer, which works wonders, but it comes in a pump that dispenses way more product than you need every day so I always feel like I’m wasting it.

          1. FYI, my MAC concealer is in a small tube with an applicator (think mascara wand with foam at the end instead of a brush).

            I also like the MAC concealer. Smooth. Good coverage. Stays put.

  8. So, I went shopping recently, and I saw a bunch of lace shorts that looked like those little shorts you put on babies under dresses- culottes? Or maybe pj shorts for sleeping? There were also matching tops, which was the icing on the cake for me. Am I wrong to dislike these shorts? Are they something I should desire? Is this a trend that I’ll spend all summer being annoyed with?

    http://aritzia.com/Talula-MAYWOOD-SHORTS/46221,default,pd.html?dwvar_46221_color=2838

    http://aritzia.com/Talula-MONTEBELLO-SHORTS/47050,default,pd.html?dwvar_47050_color=1275

    1. This is my thing with aritzia – I love some of their stuff but then stuff like this just makes me shake my head

    2. I think we can expect to see way too many pairs of lace shorts during Stampede week – worn with cowboy boots, of course!

      1. I think the shorts scare me because even though I hate them now, they might grow on me. And they will inevitably be styled SO inappropriately during Stampede, CKB is right. I’m betting on lace shorts with a plaid shirt tied up way above the navel and bras (if they’re wearing them!), peeking out, and cowboy boots, and pigtails and a hat.

        If I wasn’t treated to a parade, rodeo, fireworks,sweet, sweet pancakes, and excellent parties, they oufits in this city during those 10 days would drive me insane.

        1. Trust me – once you leave Calgary, you will miss this craziness so much. I’m totally planning on coming back in July and dressing in a “stampede outfit” (but likely not lace shorts) and wearing a cowboy hat, much to the chagrin of everyone I’m dragging with me who lives in Calgary and therefore is over the whole Stampede thing

          1. After growing up in Alberta, but spending the last decade out East, I went to back to Stampede last year and LOVED it! I definitely dressed up and spent way too much money on an amazing hat that I will likely never wear again… (until the next time I can make it back!)

          2. Yeah, we’re pretty new to Calgary (although have always lived in Alberta) and Stampede is still fun, partly because our kids love it so much. This year, though ds#1 will be 13 and I think he’ll start noticing some of the outfits I wish he wouldn’t notice this year.

      2. Eh, they’re okay, fine for a certain age group, not what I would call hideous. I clicked the link imagining to see one of those pants that go below the knee, puffy but elastic and ruffly at the bottom (pantaloon?) so it was a bit anti-climactic for me.

    1. Ooh. I actually have a couple of antique cocktail swords. Time to put them on chains! One for me, one for my drinkin’ buddy.

  10. This looks like a rosary to me, so not something I’d ever be able to wear. Especially at this length…

    1. That struck me, too. It’s obvious on a second glance that it isn’t, but that was still my overwhelming first impression.

  11. Wow, the 90’s are totally back! My bf and I got Y-necklaces after Kelly wore one all the time on 90210.

    1. I would add it under the project option. Might be a good conversation starter at some point.

  13. TJ, need advice: I have been going through a difficult period in my life for almost a year and a half now. Am finishing up grad school, job hunting. It has been extremely stressful and difficult, am currently supporting myself on savings after exhausting my funding, I have no family in the U.S. which adds to the pressure. It has led to lots of anxiety, sadness and just feeling down all the time. It’s difficult to focus and has definitely affected my productivity, I feel like I can’t do anything right anymore. I am writing this today because I have been seeing a therapist which has helped but am still struggling. Today my therapist called me out on my lateness an issue I’ve had, basically tending to be a few minutes late to stuff, sometimes forgetting appointments etc. Struggling to get back on track with everything in my life but can’t seem to, I feel like it’s all spun out of control. Most days I feel anxious. My self esteem has been affected, I tend to be an introvert and so I’ve also withdrawn somewhat from close friends who would otherwise be a good support system. I keep in touch with family and friends by phone and email so they don’t know how much of a hard time I am having. My boyfriend is aware but he now lives in a different state, moved there 4 months ago. Our relationship has been affected and right now I feel very alone and unhappy. In the past prayer helped me get through difficulties, it does not work anymore, I can’t even do it. My therapist suggested going on an anti-depressant today, which I am considering albeit with alot of hesitance because I am aware there are side effects. I would also like suggestions on how to get things under control i.e. improve punctuality, boost my self esteem and mood and reduce anxiety. If there is anyone who faced a similar life situation and had to cope when they were all alone I would like to know how you got through. Thanks.

    1. Hi Anon, sorry you are having such a hard time. I have experienced similar difficulties over a period of years, and I’m happy to say I am in a much better place now. You are on the right track with therapy, and I think medication is worth a try, although personally, I never found a medication that helped me much. If you are bothered by side effects you can always stop taking it.

      One thing that really helped me was getting some physical health issues under control. You should visit an endocrinologist to have your thyroid tested because thyroid problems can affect your mood and energy level. Then you should really try to add physical exercise to your routine, even if it’s just a 20 minute walk every day. I have found yoga to be very helpful mentally and physically.

      Next, you need activate your support network. I am introverted too, but even introverts need social support. Set a goal of making one social contact per day, even if it’s just an email or a text to a friend or a relative. Also, pick a couple of friends or relatives you trust and explain to them that you are having a hard time. They are probably wondering why you have become withdrawn and would be relieved to know and to do whatever they can to help you.

      Finally, when your life seems like it’s falling apart and you are behind on everything, it can be easy to just give up on doing anything. But that just makes you more anxious. My mantra is: The best way to get a boost is by crossing something off the to-do list. The key to this making a ridiculously easy to-do list. Is your place a mess? Make a list of 1) Pick up five things in the living room; 2) make bed; 3) put away 10 dishes; etc. Are your bills out of control? Then your list is 1) Gather all unpaid bills; 2) make a list of all bills that must be paid; 3) pay three bills; etc. Usually once I start a tiny task, I’m motivated to keep going, but even if I’m not I’m still making progress.

      Fight for yourself and your happiness with whatever tiny thing you can do. It will get better!

      2. I remembered another point on my way home: The best way to build self esteem is to be estimable. This means that you will feel better about yourself if you do things that live up to your values. Pick some easy, low commitment things you can do to make the world a better place, like buy a plant, research how much light, water, and fertilizer it needs and take good care of that plant. Or volunteer. You can walk dogs at a shelter or sort food at a food bank. See if onebrick.org operates in your city and sign up for one of their volunteer events. Write a letter to the editor or a blog post about an issue that matters to you. Write your congressional representatives. Send a card to someone you know who is sick. Attend a religious service. Anything you can do to help you live up to your own definition of a “good” person will help. And if you fail at any of these things, if your plant dies or you are late to volunteer or you sleep through church, don’t beat yourself up. Try again until you get it.

    2. Not having had severe mental health issues requiring medication….

      I think it’s a matter of showing up for yourself every day. And working on it slowly. Today, it may be, I get to X on time, or, I will get to X ten minutes early. Then once you accomplish that, you build upon it and the next day and do more that you intended to do. It may even be taking a day off from your “have tos” to do something that just relaxes/invigorates you.

      It’s amazing how that can quickly build back to feeling like yourself again. I too also went through several periods where I felt completely off/down/depressed due to external factors (transitioning from college, anxiety in trying to find an apt in nyc, going through law school recruiting in fall 2009), and tried various things to get back to my own normal and found that showing up for myself helped more than anything.

    3. Choosing to go on an anti-depressant is something you’ll have to decide for yourself, but I personally found it very helpful. In college, I became very depressed, which manifested in several different ways, but one very big issue was that all the day to day things like going to class, getting out of bed, caring about plans I’d made, reaching out to friends and family, etc became much more difficult. I’d definitely describe it as spiraling out of control. One of the things that medication did for me was to help me get to a place where I could better deal with the day to day stuff. It didn’t solve the underlying problem, but by being better able to deal with everything else, I was better able to approach working on the underlying issue.

      Ultimately, I was on medication for about 7 years and no longer need it. So don’t feel like whatever decision you make right now will have to be permanent.

    4. Is there a reason why you haven’t told your family that you’re having a hard time? We all go through difficult things and they’re much easier to get through with a support network. Also consider activities that have helped you with stress before. Are you a runner? Running is cheap and you could pick up a running group on meetup. Good luck!

    5. I was in the same place you are this summer. I agree with what Anon and Sydney Bristow said above, but I wanted to chime in as another voice in favor of anti-depressants. I started taking them in August and they’ve made a huge difference for me. Not only in helping with the depression, but in alleviating a lot of social anxiety that I thought was just me.Probably every week I turn to my husband and say something to the effect of “thank goodness for medication!” and he agrees wholeheartedly. The only side effect I noticed was a lack of interest in lady garden parties for the first few months, but that problem resolved itself and I’m now more interested in gardening than I was before I started taking them.

      I also highly recommend that you tell someone how much you’re struggling. My husband knew that I was dealing with a depressive episode, but he didn’t know how bad it was. When I finally broke down and told him it was immediately like a huge burden had been lifted from me and I was able to make it through the two weeks until I could see a doctor, which I hadn’t thought would be possible.

    6. I went through something like this years ago, albeit for about 6 months only. I had finished grad school and was job hunting and didn’t have any family here. I think that was the hardest part – not being able to go see family to get a break and feel rejuvenated. Most of my friends were also job hunting and in a similar boat at the time so socializing often felt like a drag. I took on a lot of unpaid work at the time just to keep myself busy and it helped give some structure to my day. I also set a goal of applying to X number of jobs every day. I think it’s also important to think about what the most important goals are and just focus on those… e.g. I couldn’t make myself keep my room spic and span all the time but I did commit to cleaning up at least once a week. With your lateness issue, do you think this is impacting your ability to get a job? Are you showing up late to job interviews? Or is it more like you are showing up 5 min late to have coffee with a friend? If it’s the latter perhaps give yourself a break and focus on goals that are actually important to your well-being rather than absolute punctuality. I like the suggestion from a poster above to have one social interaction per day. Good luck!

    7. I also went through a very similar period earlier this year. I’ve been in therapy for a long time, and usually it was enough to get me feeling like myself again, but not this time. I started forgetting things, spacing out at work, and becoming consumed with anxiety and depression. After about a month of this, I started having trouble getting out of bed in the mornings.

      After resisting medication for years, I finally decided to try it, and I’m SO glad I did. I’m on a very low dose, but it’s made an enormous difference in my life. I’m just so much more functional, productive, and able to deal with whatever life throws my way. Whereas before I would cry at the tiniest thing, worry that everyone hated me, and spend way too much time hating myself, now I just live life. I dealt with some less-than-ideal side effects for about a week, but then they all went away and I started feeling great. Not fake happy and still like myself — just better able to deal with things. I can’t recommend it enough. I never dreamed it would work for me, and now I just wish I had started this years ago so I could have started feeling better sooner. It didn’t fix my problems or turn me into someone I’m not, but it gave me perspective and quieted the anxiety. Good luck!

  14. Mental health care is as important as physical health care (even if our society and/or our insurance companies don’t agree!), so yes, take steps to reverse your downward cycle of feeling crummy, not acting up to your full potential (being late to events, etc.), then feeling even worse, etc. By all means find a compatible therapist and try medication–as long as you feel comfortable talking to the therapist and the prescribing physician about your concerns re side effects (or any other medication you’re already taking for other reasons, or any other physical health information…delicate stomach, allergy to certain meds, super-sensitivity to meds so that you want as low a dose as possible, whatever). Someone else on this thread said “you can always go off” the medicine–true, but check with your health care providers first. If you have to work up to a regular dosage you might also have to taper off, rather than just stopping abruptly.

    NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness, www dot nami dot org) has links for online discussion groups, state and local chapters, and lots of other information. Perhaps this will let you find other folks who share your journey. I also like the suggestion from other commenters of just doing one thing every day to improve your life, your outlook, your approach, or your character (I hear you re the challenge of being on time). Taking direct action can help solve a problem, but sometimes it can really boost one’s morale to build up accomplishments in another area of life.

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