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We haven't posted about M.Gemi in a long while, but I always see readers singing their praises — particularly for their flats. Which are your favorites, readers?
I love the looks of The Gia, pictured. The company bills the shoes as “a streamlined pointy toe with unbelievable comfort,” and notes that it's got “supple leather” and “fold-in-half flexibility.” In terms of comfort, the shoes contain a hidden wedge “for a 20mm lift — looks like a flat, but even more comfortable.” Sounds lovely!
The shoes are handmade in Toscana, Italy, and available in five sedate colors for $248. (Unfortunately there are limited siezs left of the tan, but lots of other colors are in stock.)
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Hunting for other comfortable flats for work? These are some of our other favorites…
Some of our favorite comfortable flats for work as of 2024 include M.M.LaFleur, AGL, and French Sole. On the more affordable side, check out Rothy's, Sam Edelman, and Rockport. We've also rounded up the best loafers for work, and our favorite sneakers for work outfits!
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Doctor
Am I going to look like a doctor if I wear a white linen blazer over a navy linen sheath? Both are J.Crew, pretty basic cuts.
Anon
No I think linen makes it less doctory.
A
Yes
Not a Doctor
Am I going to look like a doctor if I wear a white linen blazer over a navy linen sheath? Both are J.Crew, pretty basic cuts.
Anon
Yes that is how I felt every time I tried it.
I had more luck with a jacket that wasn’t cut like a blazer, off-white rather than white, and a shorter length so it didn’t look as much like a lab coat.
Anonymous
Can you add a scarf or necklace to break up the neckline. Or switch to a patterned dress? I wear white jackets all the time and don’t think I look like a doctor at all but the plain navy sheath might veer the look in that direction. I usually wear the jackets with a patterned shirt.
Tattoo artist
Hi, I’ve decided to get a tattoo and am wondering how to go about selecting a studio (if that’s what they are called?). Other than yelp reviews and looking at the portfolio, is there anything I should be looking for?
Anon
Check your city’s subreddit for recommendations, then head to Instagram. That seems to be where most are showcasing their work right now.
Anon
Pick out a few studios and artists whose work you like from online and go to the studios and meet the artists. You should take some time to talk to them and see if you mesh and if they understand your vision for what you want. When I did this, it immediately became clear to me that this one artist I met was who I wanted to work with, so I booked an appointment with her. Don’t be afraid to be picky and take your time — this will be with you forever!
Anon
I would look on instagram for local artists and pick one whose work you like and who tattoos in the style you want. If the tattoo artist offers advice on your idea (ie “it would look better bigger”) seriously consider it. I’ve always been happy I took their advice. I know #notallmen, but in my extensive experience, I’ve always had better experiences with female tattoo artists.
Anon
Look for “healed” photos on their Instagram. This will show you what their work looks like months/years down the line. Having healed photos on their profile is a green flag for me, because it shows the artist cares what their work looks like long term. Some extremely high end tattoo shops like Bang Bang in NYC do amazing fine-line work and tiny tattoos but they don’t always look great a few years down the road.
Anon
This is interesting and something I’ve not thought about until this moment. Are there design types or colors that seem to age better than others?
Anonymous
Yes! I can’t list it all here but you should look it up. For example, fingers and feet/ankles are hardest to heal and fade fastest. Lower legs and feet and ribs are the most painful. High-rub or stretchy areas of the body will have distortion on the tattoo over time from repeated rubbing by clothing and/or skin stretching. Fine line work will bleed over time so you have to find the right balance between super tiny/too thick of a line – I got a tiny hollow circle tattoo a long time ago that is now an opaque circle because it naturally gets thicker over time and the starting thickness was too thick for that design. It’s quite intricate so I would do your research and once you’ve found an artist, do a lot of discussion with them about placement and size.
Anon
Traditional Americana style tattoos with relatively thick black outlines are going to age the best, I think. Those water color style tattoos that were popular a few years ago are not going to, they’ll blur into blobs pretty quickly.
Anon
My black watercolor style rib tattoo (which was incredibly painful!) still looks great about 8 years later. Can’t speak to color. I would definitely go with an artist who is very experienced with this style if that what you are going for.
Emp’ee side L&E in CT
I also have a still looking good color watercolor rib tattoo, but I definitely looked for someone experienced in this style!
Tattoo artist
Thanks for the suggestions all!
Anon
What can I make with garlic scapes that’s good, besides pesto? I just cut a bunch out of my garden and now I don’t know what to do with them.
Anon
Use them where you’d use scallions/green onions. For me, that’s toward the end of cooking a dish. I think a dish of pasta tossed with a butter / barely sautéed scapes sauce would be great. Veggies would work too.
Anon
I sauté them and have with pasta, sort of like a green bean. Usually with zucchini because I tend to have them at the same time.
Anonymous
Lucky you! If you eat pasta, the pasta ideas seem good. I typically put them in omelets. I also used some in a veggie dip this week. To me they are usually an adornment — a delicious and special adornment.
DC pandas
Stir Fry!
Curious
They are so good chopped into meatloaf.
Lily
Reposting as I didn’t get any responses late in the day yesterday.
Has anyone used red rosin paper or floor shield when moving in or out of a house to protect the floors? Would you recommend? Did you install it, or did your movers, and were there any complaints/comments from the movers about it? Trying to decide if I’m being overly cautious but I’m worried about damage to the hardwood floors on either side of our move. TIA!
Cat
My tips on moving with hardwood-
– As movers are unloading each piece, follow them around with fresh felt pads to stick on feet before they set it down
– Laying down paper is kind of useless, it’s slippery, tears, and does nothing to prevent the most likely damage, which is something heavy getting dropped
– If you want to install any floor shield (like thin plywood taped together) you get the most bang for your buck at stair landings, which is when awkward landings (as the movers shift the weight of a piece or set it down to get a different grip) are often hit the hardest.
Anonymous
thanks!
Anonymous
Agree on the felt pads, for sure, but let the movers know this is the plan and work quickly so they aren’t left holding something very heavy while you dawdle to get the pad in just the right spot or have a side chat or whatever.
Cat
yes I thought that would be obvious!
S
Our movers treated our hardwoods like their own gentle babies, putting down blankets, holding heavy things a long time to avoid putting them down, without me having to do a thing. I hate to say it but go for slightly over priced movers with glowing glowing recommendations, ideally those recommendations are from older folks who are likely to own pricey furniture.
Anon
It’s bewildering why the USA doesn’t do anything about its gun laws.
Watching from overseas, it’s horrifying that Americans accept their children being gunned down regularly.
Anon
Sorry, nesting fai
Lobby-est
Uline sells an amazing product to protect floors – basically sticky plastic on the bottom and not stick or slippery on top. Works wonders – protects from scrapes or paint. Easy to put down. You can put other things on top like paint protecting canvas throws or towels.
Good luck!
Anon
I’m so angry reading about the police response to Uvalde. Apparently parents and teachers were trying to urge them outside the school to go in and do something, but they chose not to because they assumed everyone was already dead inside the classrooms.
A teacher who gave an interview this morning said that he and his students, when in the classroom with the shooter, called out the police who were standing outside the door for help. The police apparently walked away and left them for dead. All 11 students in his class died, though were obviously alive when the police had first arrived to the classroom. I just… don’t… understand…
Anon
Not in their defense, but I read in a national newspaper that they were in an area with bad radio reception. I spent some time last week with one bar of service on my phone. It’s not a police radio, but after 9/11 I thought that a lot of first responder issues like this had been fixed. Not surprised that a border patrol unit with a lot more training would up being who went in. It doesn’t sound like this small town had the resources or training for this.
Anon
This is incorrect. They had just competed active shooter training in March. They chose to leave those kids for dead because they were scared of the guy with the big gun. Call your representatives.
Trish
Every small town police department in America has lots of our money from federal grants for their big boy toys and their training. They were cowardly. Period.
Anon
I read that the police thought that it was a barricaded shooter with only dead people (or no people). It’s tragic, but a fog of war situation seems to easy to happen. There may be other things going on here and it’s a small town police force, so I know that often, the help we need is not likely to be the help we have.
Anon
They were literally getting 911 calls during that time, though.
Monday
Yes, my understanding is that kids were calling 911 nonstop from inside the room, and that gun shots could still be heard at this time. Last I knew, they had not explained why it was classified as a barricaded subject, nor why the 911 calls did not instigate any different approach.
Anon
I think that what the 911 dispatcher knew maybe was not known to the police onsite if communication to them in the field was spotty? And if you hear shots, you can’t see what is happening, so if you are first informed one thing, maybe you lock in on that? I heard that they were waiting for a hostage negotiator type person to come. IDK that we may ever know, but I can see how a misstep would be tragic. Fog of war is real. We are all Monday morning quarterbacks here. And I am in no way qualified, but as a parent, I probably would have been one of the handcuffed / tased ones who would be trying to rush in (or frozen in fear).
Anon
Yeah. Even worse is that kids were screaming from the classroom at police standing outside and begging them to come in to help stop the shooter. The teacher (only one who survived) said that as they were yelling for the police to come inside the classroom, the police wound up not even attempting to enter and walking away instead. They didn’t try to come in again for 75 minutes, by which point all of the children had been killed.
Anon
I can’t imagine ducking down and playing dead while kids called 911 around me and were getting shot.
Anonymous
I am so glad that teacher had the sense to duck down and play dead. Had he not, there would have been 12 dead in that room instead of 11. There was absolutely nothing that unarmed teacher could have done to save those children from a crazed and determined killer carrying an AR-15. He survived and can tell the story.
anonshmanon
sure it’s tough and a stressful situation. These kinds of dangerous and challenging situations are the justification for why cops often make higher salaries than all other city employees (including those with degrees that take years of expensive education), and why there are all sorts of legal protections that prevent cops from being prosecuted when they harm or kill residents based on split second decision making.
Celia
The teacher didn’t duck down and play dead. The gunman shot the teacher twice – in the back and through a lung – before turning on the students. That teacher was incapacitated and is still in the hospital. At least one of the students in that room survived by playing dead, and I am so glad the student was able to survive that way.
Bonnie Kate
+1 the 911 transcripts and timelines are horrifying.
I suggest you read this:
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/05/28/us/school-shooting-timeline-uvalde-texas.html?action=click&pgtype=Article&state=default&module=styln-texas-school-shooting&variant=show®ion=BELOW_MAIN_CONTENT&block=storyline_flex_guide_recirc
Bonnie Kate
The suggestion to read the link with the NYT timeline was to anon at 2:57. And not snarkily – I just think seeing it minute by minute of what was happening is shocking.
Anon
The 911 calls don’t go directly to them. And IDK how the border patrol people even got involved except some guy ran in from getting his hair cut and wasn’t even on duty.
Monday
Of course the 911 calls don’t go directly to them. But the part where nothing about these calls was relayed to police at the scene, at all? Such that they apparently continued to believe nobody was inside hanging on for their lives?
Anon
Is there a good source of info to follow on this? Not in Texas, but very interested in keeping current on this.
My kids are in a campus-type school that is near a police substation (due the area having lots of daytime crime; in-school attacks in our city have been b/w kids with existing bad blood, but even a stray bullet will kill you and kids’ mental health these days is pretty bad). I think our local response would be good, but obvs we have not had this exact situation before. I fear second-story buildings where kids may not have the ability to go out windows and modern buildings where the windows don’t even open.
Anon
Their story keeps changing. I believe nothing they say at this point. In the day or so following the shooting, one of the bosses said the police didn’t enter because they could have been shot, and I think that’s as close to the truth as we’re going to get.
Which of corse leads to the question, if police aren’t willing to enter a dangerous situation to save literal children, then what is the purpose of having police? Traffic tickets and big pensions?
Anon
They still do a lot of things. Attending to traffic accidents is harrowing given how mangled people can get and the running-high passions. In my city, EMTs can’t go in if there is any gunfire, so often police have to go in AND be first resonders.
Anon
EMTs / ambulances are the ones who attend to mangled bodies at car accidents, unless they’re already dead. In which case, it remains unclear where police are actually saving lives.
Bonnie Kate
If the Uvade police were in your city, they would be waiting 78 minutes to go in if there is gunfire.
Anon
I think we’ve established dealing with a dangerous situation is optional, so in the scenario you describe I believe they’d just stay back behind their cars or whatever
Anon
Also I like how you’ve completely given up on them actually intervening in a school shooting situation, as if that’s ok. “They still do a lot of other things”
Ridiculous and tragic
Anon
Is it changing? Or are we getting more info? I can see how this is like the blind men and the elephant.
Initially on 9/11, I thought that that first plane really should have been less reckless. I had incomplete information initially. I heard that there was a bomb at the State Department when what I was seeing was smoke from the Pentagon. We heard that more planes were unaccounted for and stayed outside for hours, listening to the radio.
Anon
Have you followed this at all? Their story has changed too many times to count. It’s not “new info” it’s police leadership lying over and over again.
Anon
Yes it’s changing. The police department knows they’re getting sued every which way, and so everything is spin now, as it was from day one, but now they have better advisors.
Anon
The purpose of police has always and will always be to protect the property and interests of the ruling class.
Anon
Not sure what the ruling class of Uvalde is like though. From what I read, it is a pretty poor small town.
Anon
Obviously I’m talking systemically.
Anon
They could not have believed that; they’re just lying.
Anon
Maybe someone is lying. I have a feeling that the top people on scene were the most to blame and I feel bad for any junior people there being told info. I’m not surprised that a completely different agency with a different command structure came in and overrode the local police AND that that turned out to be the right thing to do. The juniormost local officers deserve some prayers for them as they may have been in a situation where they were set up for a failure they may never get over and it isn’t their fault.
Monday
It’s terrible, but I think the weight on their conscience is probably going to be the only consequence they face. (Of course, this is a staggering consequence, but only if you’re a basically good person with a sense of accountability–I don’t know any of these people and can’t speak to that.) The 2 armed guards on site at the Parkland shooting were given their jobs back, with back pay, after initially being fired for hiding from the shooter.
So far, the response to mass shootings has not included many expectations at all of the armed personnel who are supposed to prevent or intervene in them.
Anon
It’s not a “maybe” when they’ve contradicted themselves this many times.
pugsnbourbon
+1. Cops lie with impunity all the time.
Anon
It’s bewildering why the USA doesn’t do anything about its gun laws.
Watching from overseas, it’s horrifying that Americans accept their children being gunned down regularly.
anon
We haven’t accepted it. Quit stirring this sh!t up. It is not helpful.
PolyD
Well, in a way we have. Whether because we value our guns or because we will only vote for pro-life politicians who are also pro- gun or we won’t vote for politicians who want to work on gun control because they also want to forgive student loans or because we think that they will make our 401K value drop.
After Sandy Hook, I was pretty pessimistic that anything would be done about guns, and basically nothing was. I don’t know why people expect this most recent slaughter to be the thing that makes a difference.
Anon
I’m an American, and totally believe that we as a country have accepted it. Until every single politician standing in the way of gun control laws is voted out of office, there’s no way to say that we have not accepted it. You can argue that you vote for somebody else, but clearly the vast majority of Americans don’t care enough to vote based on this issue
Anon
Sadly, I agree wholeheartedly.
Anon
A sociology professor wrote this up once: https://kieranhealy.org/blog/archives/2019/08/03/rituals-of-childhood/
Anon
Anon at 4:58, I am not sure what you mean by “quit stirring this up” bit if you are thinking just one person is telling you how the rest of the world views this, you are wrong. I am the OP last week who made a similar post. I am not Anon at 4:51.
From the outside it totally looks like you have accepted it. Or you would have forced a change by now.
We don’t say it to troll you, we say it because if you hear it enough may be enough of you will stop accepting it and act.
Anon
Absolutely, and thank you.
Anon
Looking for advice on how to be more adventurous in my outfits when up until now my outfits have been very neutral and sedate. There are a lot of looks I like but pass over because I feel self conscious about wearing things that are out of the norm for me or draw too much attention.
Anonymous
the way to be more adventurous with your outfits is to buy the clothes that you like that you’re currently passing over. But then the question becomes how to actually wear them out in public, since that’s what’s holding you up. The only way to get more comfortable with doing something outside your comfort zone is . . . . to take a step out and do it, and just know that it’s not going to feel comfortable, and that’s OK. You could ease your way in by wearing clothes around the house for a while so you get used to wearing them, or wear your more adventurous outfits when you’re running errands or doing something that only takes an hour, rather than wearing it to work for 10 hours. Or, start by wearing one adventurous items with your sedate/neutral items.
Mostly, you just do it. The way you “pull something off” is simply to wear it out in public. Voila: you pulled it off.
Panda Bear
I have the same problem lately. When I lived in a bigger city and went into an office with well-dressed colleagues every day, my outfits were much more interesting. Now I sometimes feel a little silly putting on fancy/edgy things to go to the grocery store. One thing that helps is just doing a little at a time – e.g., instead of the cool shoes/fancy skirt/colorful blouse/interesting jacket/amazing scarf all together, it will be the cool shoes, amazing scarf, and very simple jeans and tee shirt. And besides, I already own all this stuff – why let it languish?
anon
I have this issue too–I didn’t even wear dresses until grad school because I felt self conscious about the attention (ie, basic compliments and acknowledgement that I was wearing something “unusual” for me). My BF loves shopping and putting together outfits, and I’m terrible at it and don’t enjoy it. I have grown to like shopping with him because he encourages me to try stuff on that I other wise wouldn’t, and he’s a helpful cheerleader when I’m feeling self-conscious. I’ve retrained myself not to pass stuff over just because it’s not the same type of plain colored shirt/sweater I usually always go for. I try to remind myself that it’s not actually a revolutionary look to wear, say, a body suit or the color red, and I’d never think twice if someone else did. Do you have someone you could call on to help you shop in person? Once you do it and get positive feed back (and you will!) you’ll be encouraged to do it more.
Duckles
I would say, if you’re self-conscious at home, you’ll be doubly so wearing it out, so don’t “try” to be more adventurous but rather wear what you feel most confident in.
Anon
Any ‘rettes living & working in Amsterdam, NL? I was approached by a recruiter with a job offer in a global pharma company (marketing) and am intrigued. Would appreciate your POV on how is life there for expats, cost of living, access & quality of healthcare, what did you love/hate/miss. For reference, I am based in Europe and have lived in a few Central Eastern Europe locations already. Thanks!
Anonymous
Check out the blog Conscious By Komal. She’s an expat there working in big 4 consulting.
Anon
I lived in Belgium for a bit and I assume it’s similar. Quality of life is great, social safety net gives more of a sense of calm and security, less emphasis on work as the be-all end-all. I hate the gray / rainy gloominess though and would get depressed living there for too long. I am from a very diverse American city and also missed the diversity/individuality that’s here compared to certain parts of Benelux.
kag
Eastern European, lived more than a decade in the Netherlands, including Amsterdam, recently moved to the US.
Taxes are high, though for first five years you will pay less.
Dutch are very straightforward, so it’s relatively easy to integrate. However, they tend to stick to their old friends, so making close friends is difficult.
Everybody speaks English.
Part time work is a norm, especially for women. Its about working efficiently and going home on time for dinner. Working from home was widespread already before the pandemic (usually one day a week).
Health insurance – you will pay around 120 euro a month and max 800 euro per year out of pocket. Dutch don’t really seem to practice preventive care and it’s all about basic primary care or hospitals. It’s generally accessible.
Housing is a big problem (expensive, hard to get). Overall, quality of life is great (no cars, biking, good access to an international food, great work-life balance, lots of holidays), but salaries are quite compressed.
Anon
Thank you ladies, this is very helpful. I will give it a go then and see how the recruitment goes. I should have relocation support (finding housing and covering the cost of rent).
@KAG, I did notice the salary range was similar to Poland, despite COLA being higher vs Warsaw, so your point on compressed compensation is very true.
@Anon, hear you on the grey weather, I will up my vit D to max
@anonymous, thank you for the blog tip!
kag
Rent prices went up a lot in Warsaw, but still, with a similar net salary you will be able to afford much, much more in Poland. If you consider moving to the Netherlands, it will be for quality of life, flexibility at work, living in a more rational and open-minded society etc.
Anon
Agree, rents are … cosmic these days. I avoided this as I had to relocate for current company to an even more absurd country (Hungary). Sigh.
For me, the major benefit would be switching from OTC pharma to Rx, which would open even more doors. I will simply need to negotiate a better compensation package. Fingers crossed.
Curious
Having thread jacked this morning’s gifting thread with an ode to the Midwest (where I no longer live…), I’m curious. What is your culture of origin, and how direct is communication? Can people take your words literally? If not, what would they need to know (habits? facial expressions?) to understand?
Anon
I’m from the NYC area, so loud + unfiltered. I’m come across as really Pollyanna when people are being passive-aggressive b/c I take everything at face value.
“Nice dress.”
“Thanks!”
“Nice dress” can mean all sorts of things.
Anne-on
+1. Grew up in a loud Jewish NYC family and went to NYC public schools. Loud, direct, unfiltered conversation with a side of guilt is my mother tongue. Add in ‘cooperative overlap’ as the linguistic style and it can be a lot (but works well for my ADHD brain!!) – link here which explains it (also fwiw, this has caused arguments as my husband is a ‘turn taker’ and I am obviously not. I’m learning to adapt more but when I’m around other NY’ers/family I go right back to this style).
https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/conversation-style-interruption-cooperative-overlapping.html
The first time my husband was at a family event he couldn’t understand why everyone was yelling all the time, we weren’t, that’s just us in a group.
Vicky Austin
Cooperative overlap is my entire family of origin – everybody say a prayer for my poor husband and BIL.
Curious
Omg THAT is why my husband can’t handle my mom talking to her sisters! Thank you!
Anon
Heh to the Pollyanna comment. I guess I expect that if a grown adult thought my dress is ugly, they would either keep that opinion to themselves or own their sentiment. I’m not going to spend the energy to figure out how you feel about my dress – if you need me to care, use your words.
I rather dislike the Midwest, because it’s not polite – people just don’t own their negativity.
anon
I am American, with a first born mother (Belgian/French) and a British immigrant father. I grew up understanding that what my parents said was what they meant. Although, we didn’t talk about much tbh.
I am a direct communicator and you can take my words at face value. I in turn take other people at their word. I have learned how to manage this in an office setting as obviously you have to play the game there and deal with wildly different personalities and cultures. But I also have no qualms in saying, what I hear you saying is XYZ, is that correct? So I give them a chance to make sure what I am “hearing” is what they are “saying.”
anon
Sorry, grew up East Coast, New England and Mid-Atlantic. My mother grew up on Long Island FWIW.
Anonymous
Interesting. I find the English to be incredibly obtuse and avoidant.
Anon
And yet I can watch Prime Minister’s Questions for hours.
Brit dad kid
My mom is definitely the boss in the family lol
Anon
I’m from Northern California, and I’d say people are pretty nonjudgmental and also pretty nonconfrontational. So no one is going to tell you if you’re being annoying, but it’s also likely that you’d be allowed to be more out-there and unfiltered without anyone raising an eyebrow. I think there’s less likelihood anyone would give passive aggressive comments about what you’re wearing or doing etc than the south or midwest.
Curious
This sounds similar to native Seattleites.
Anonymous
I hate how we put on this big production about teaching honesty to children, then society is like JK you’re always supposed to lie to be ‘polite’.
Anonymous
I’m Australian and I think Americans are wildly loud.
Anonymous
I am American and I think Americans are wildly loud.
Anonymous
+1
Cat
+2 – it is a delight visiting other cultures where people speak in quieter tones!
Anon
+1 I have two coworkers whose voices sometimes actually hurt my ears. At least one other person in the office has said this out loud.
Cat
4:20 Anon, same – it has been one of my favorite things about remote work that I don’t have to mentally block out every syllable of my office neighbor’s every conversation.
Curious
Yeah, when I came back from living in Europe, people thought I was Swedish just because I had adjusted to talking more softly. I still do struggle to hear some South Asian colleagues who are conversely very very (politely) quiet.
Anon
I’m a Bay Area Californian. If someone tells me not to bring a gift to a birthday party or any food to a dinner party etc, I take them at their word. I might bring a bottle of wine for later, and tell my friend the host it is for later, for a dinner party but I’m not bringing anything the host has to serve or deal with (such as flowers with no vase.)
I agree with the prior commenter from Nor Cal that anything goes dressing or appearance wise. The only people I would say anything to about their clothing other than a compliment would be my husband or my kids, or in a couple of cases entry level employees who reported to me (interestingly, in both cases they were guys, and they were grateful for the advice.)
Anon
Native Bostonian, blunt but slightly understated. You can take me at my word. If choosing between two interpretations of what I say, go with the one that aligns with understatement. Example: “I like your dress” means I quite like your dress, and am not one to gush.
Curious
Ohhh this explains a lot for me with my spouse :):) thank you.
anon
Interesting to think about that. As basically everyone on this thread, I will claim to be direct. You can take me at my word, although as soon as we build a rapport, I will use sarcasm regularly (and puns).
I think you might more likely hear me express criticism at work than in my private life, where I am more likely to put up with stuff. I grew up in Germany and work in the Bay Area now. I believe I got my last job because I explained in the thank you note that while I am not a very effusive person, I was truly excited about the job. That, and the magic AAM question.
Curious
Yay sarcasm :)!
Curious
Lol and I said that sincerely. How confusing.
anon
I’m a white midwesterner who has moved around over the past 20+ years: New England, DC, TX, now in the PNW. I’m also the one from the morning thread with the spouse who has been offering me the last bite of dessert for years, which I happily, obliviously accepted until he gently explained the dynamic from his cultural perspective. ;)
Everywhere I’ve lived, people believe they are communicating directly. Midwesterners think of themselves as plain-spoken; so do Texans; so do Bostonians; so do Taiwanese. What frustrates me most is when people from a particular region insist that their way of communicating is The Right Way — it’s like claiming that you don’t have an accent. What one person considers direct, another might find intrusive and abrasive. What one person considers clear and respectful, another might consider weak or cowardly.
Curious, I appreciated your examples of Nigerian gift-giving culture and Taiwanese emotional expressivity this morning! I’ve made similar faux pas. At a good friend’s engagement party many years ago (her family is originally from Vietnam), I wondered why everyone was waiting in a long line for one buffet table, when there was another table with the same food in smaller portions on the other side of the room. Thank goodness my friend’s sister intervened before I helped myself to the ancestors’ food.
Curious
Oh what an interesting set of experiences! Thank you for sharing. I find it interesting that two commenters said that most people find their way of communicating to be direct. I hadn’t thought of it that way but I suppose it’s true. Thank you for sharing :):)
Anon
These shoes are gorgeous, wish they were in my budget!
Anon
In case it is any consolation, M Gemi runs very, very narrow. The winter pre-panini, I saved for and finally bought a gorgeous pair of their booties and was SO excited to wear them, but even after stretching them they just pinched too much for my normally slightly narrow feet to handle and I ended up selling them.
Curious
Points for pre-panini.
DallasAnon
I am headed to NYC this weekend before a conference next week. I, historically, have not done New York much and don’t really have people in the city but because my firm is flying me in and I don’t have any vacation plans at all I decided to take advantage of the weekend and head up early. I’m staying near Times Square (the hotel where the conference is), but I’m not tied to the area in any way. I know this is super last minute, but any thoughts? I love art, mostly modern or at least 1900s on, and history. I’ve done museum of natural history before and am looking more for things I won’t see at the top of a guide book.
Also restaurants! Happy to sit at a bar or chef’s counter or whatever. Most restaurants won’t do reservations for 1 so I’m doing walkins basically anywhere I try.
Anon
Awesome Winslow Homer exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art right now. You can get drinks on the rooftop bar — good for the COVID-cautious.
DallasAnon
Thank you for the ideas!
DallasAnon
And one other thing – I LOVE specialty stuff for the home. Art, objects, practical goods elevated etc. Is there a neighborhood I need to wandering through to hit a bunch of boutiques that have this type of stuff?
Anon
ABC Carpet & Home for eye candy for the home
Anne-on
+1 – ABC Home and Carpet and Fish’s Eddie and then brunch in the area. If you’re in the area (and it isn’t crowded) Grammercy Tavern’s bar is my favorite place to dine solo.
Anon
This, with the Union Square farmers’ market.
DallasAnon
Thank you!
Anonymous
Chelsea. Specifically 18th street area
DallasAnon
Thank you!
Anon
I don’t know about the neighborhood, but the MoMA store would be perfect for this.
DallasAnon
I do regularly visit their website so maybe an in person trip is due. thank you!
Anon
I really like the Neue Gallery. Shukette is one of my all time favorite meals, I would try to get a spot at the counter there.
DallasAnon
I just read this menu and it looks phenomenal. Thanks for the recommendations.
Anon
You could make a whole Art Day out of galleries in Chelsea and a trip to the Whitney Museum, with a walk down the High Line and/or Hudson River Park thrown in. I’d try King, Via Carota, or I Sodi for solo dinner at the bar, or Buvette for a nice breakfast or lunch.
For quick good food near Times Square it’s worth checking out All’Antico Vinaio, Real Kung Fu Little Steamed Buns Ramen, or any of the bakeries on the south side of Bryant Park.
NYCer
These are both at the top of a guide book, but I would still recommend MoMA and the Whitney if you like modern art and history. Both are beautiful museums and have great exhibitions. Chandelier Bar across from MoMA is beautiful. The Modern Bar Room is also a good option for food/drinks close to there. A visit to the Whitney could be paired with a walk along the High Line.
For restaurants, I would wander the West Village one of the nights and pop into places that look lively and see if they have space for you at the bar. A few places you can check in that neighborhood: L’Artusi, Buvette, Balaboosta, Nat’s on Bank, and Roey’s. And if you make it all the way down to Tribeca, I highly recommend One White Street. Grand Banks in Tribeca is also a bit of an experience (it is a restaurant on a boat docked in the harbor). Go early for brunch for the best chance to get in.
Anne-on
+1 – if you haven’t done the MoMa and like modern art it’s a must do. Plus the cafes are surprisingly good (thought $$) and the Bar Room is $$$ but excellent. I’d go when they open and then either eat lunch there or leave and grab something quick/cheap in the area before your next stop (it’s midtown, there are a ton of fast lunch joints nearby). The Met is great but a total food dessert unless you want to pay through the nose.
DallasAnon
I do think I’m going to do MoMa first thing on Saturday. I’ve done it before but it was a long time ago. great thoughts on timing, thank you!
DallasAnon
Thank you for all the ideas and restaurant names. I am taking lots of notes.
Anon
Oh there’s so much to do! In recent years I’ve had a more flexible job where I didn’t have to hit the ground running after flying in on a red eye, so I’ve done a few things that I recommend
1) stand in the TKTS line and get a single ticket to a show that night. I like musicals so I saw a lot this way. I really like going to the theater by myself. Many restaurants in that area work their schedules around theater times so whether I was having a quick sushi dinner at the sushi bar or a posh drink and appetizer at a nice hotel, I knew they’d get me in and out of there on time.
I also love wandering the Metropolitan Museum of Art by myself. Being on someone else’s schedule at a museum is my idea of hell. If I want to linger for 1/2 hour in front of one painting and barely glance at others like the Griswolds at the Grand Canyon, that’s my business! The Met also has several very nice places to get a little bite to eat.
I never did find any better shopping in NYC than I could do back home in the Bay Area so I’d plan to skip that.
And of course Central Park is lovely any time of year and you can spend hours just wandering and taking it all in.
Enjoy!!
DallasAnon
Thank you so much!
A
Intrepid museum.
Emp’ee side L&E in CT
Hi there! I am looking for an employee side L&E attorney to review a doc for a former coworker of mine in CT. I am not in that area so don’t have any local connections. Thanks!
Anon
What area of the state? If in Fairfield County/Stamford, try Dan Young at Wofsey Rosen.
DallasAnon
Thank you!!!