Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Contrast-Trim Jacket in Stretch Linen Blend
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
We’re still getting snow in the Northeast, so it feels a little early to be thinking about linen clothes, but this blazer is so pretty that I just couldn’t resist. The contrast-trim details and gold buttons are so chic, and the slim cut is perfect for a spring/summer topper.
This would be beautiful layered over a light blue or white dress for a business casual look.
This linen-blend jacket is $258 at J.Crew and comes in sizes 00-24.
If you're a fan of this style, some of our latest favorite lady jackets for work include sweater jackets from ba&sh, Boden, and J.Crew. (M.M.LaFleur just got some also!) On the budget side of things, check out Mango, Tuckernuck (XXS-XXL), and CeCe. If you prefer a lined, more Chanel-style jacket for work, do take a look at IRO and L'Agence; Mango, J.Crew Factory, and Madewell often have them at budget-friendly prices.
Sales of note for 3/15/25:
- Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
- Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – Extra 30% off women's styles + spring break styles on sale
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off 3 styles + 50% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off 1 item + 30% off everything else (includes markdowns, already 25% off)
Are there little things you do that help elevate your everyday?
I was watching a clip of a lifestyle show and had a viscerally negative reaction. I was very jealous of the wealth and time to be able to do these “frivolous” things. But it got me thinking that maybe adding small, cheap luxurious moments in my day would be worthwhile.
What do you define as frivolous things? I try to prioritize things like a good cup of coffee in the morning, a nice breakfast and a sit down dinner with my family. It’s a time expense more than a cost expense though obviously coffee beans cost money, etc. I would love to have a little more free time so I could go for morning walks instead of running off to work but that’s another story.
I also live in a cold city so prioritize good winter gear that feels nice but, again, your don’t need to be Megan Markel to have a nice cashmere wrap and a good hat.
I love frivolous things that add a little boost to my day. Good sheets, fancy candles, good hand soap, my favourite tea, etc.
It might sound corny, but the things that elevate my daily life aren’t the kinds of things that are related to great individual wealth at all, though they do rely on participating in a strong community. To name just a few:
-excellent food (mostly vegetarian and cook at home)
-lovely, kind neighbors who do things like plant front gardens, invite their skilled friends to play beautiful music with them outside, teach neighborhood kids basketball skills in the street, and stop for a chat
-access to a library with kind librarians and pretty much any book I want through our state interlibrary loan system
-a local cafe run by a mother and son who really look after their customers and staff
So jealous of you having lovely, kind neighbors. I’ve just never had that in the multiple places I’ve lived.
Do you life in the Hallmark channel? That sounds lovely.
I buy bar soaps and candles from Trader Joe’s. Each item costs less than $5, but my home and shower time smell so good.
I take walks weather permitting. Even 5 minutes on a busy day feels great.
I wear press on nails. Much less expensive than going to a salon but my nails look manicured.
I use my serving dishes and even china when having dinner with my family. Even when it’s takeout!
Trader Joes candles are lovely. I used to get really expensive scented candles, but switched to TJ and they’re just as uplifting.
the grapefruit is fantastic! I’m stocking up this year
Maybe it’s just my inner Puritan, but I don’t have the slightest interest in things that feel “luxurious” in the typical sense and wouldn’t want to spend my money on them, no matter how much money I had. However, I do take pleasure in things that that function well and remove annoyance and hassle from my life, so that’s where I allocate any extra spending. Like the poster above, I also live in a cold city and spend a lot of time outside, so I have high quality (though not necessarily expensive) outdoor clothing for every type of weather and warm cozy clothing for inside. I shop carefully for appliances and tech that function the way I want them to, rather than having annoying features that irritate me on a daily basis. I also take the time to do a lot of my own cooking so that I can eat healthy food I enjoy pretty much every day. Having a well stocked pantry and freezer feels luxurious, but it’s ultimately a frugal habit, assuming you have the space (I have a fairly small kitchen, but also a basement).
These are some of my preferred luxuries too. The right clothes, good technology, good food at home…
I’ll add: well-thought-out storage, good music, a comfortable home office setup, plants, durable backpacks that cover a range of needs, preventative/maintenancr care on things and on myself, and a reliable bicycle.
Same. I don’t need to be swaddled in luxury. The luxury is having things work properly and give me the time and mental space to live my life.
I’m not sure what budget level you are aiming for. I try to figure out areas where I am not fussy and am completely happy with an inexpensive product and areas where I actually care about an upgrade. For example, I am totally fine with inexpensive coffee and would never buy a high priced candle. But good shampoo and conditioner has been life changing.
What makes a “good” shampoo? I’m not happy with mine, but I haven’t found that higher-priced ones work well with my fine, thick, slightly wavy hair.
Fine, thick, and wavy is hard since it’s so easily weighed down. I am currently happy with KinkyCurly Come Clean.
I also have fine, thick, wavy hair and I love Pureology shampoo and conditioner. I usually use the Hydrate line. It’s intended for colored hair and I was coloring my hair when I started using it, but I continue to use it now even though I no longer color. I tried several others when I quit coloring but came back to it and still love it.
L’Oreal EverPure can sometimes work for this hair type though I don’t know how luxurious it is!
That is my favorite shampoo and conditioner, I’ve tried everything fancy and always come back to it.
Does it have a strong scent? Interested in this but sensitive to scents.
I also have fine, thick, and wavy hair and like the Hibar Volumizing solid shampoo (and conditioner). It doesn’t have an amazing scent, somewhat mild and vaguely reminiscent of T-gel, but it leaves my hair soft, clean, and not weighed down.
I’ve been on a mission lately to be more “fancy” and stepping up my game in terms of dressing better, eating better, etc. It’s made a big difference in my mood to take the time to pay more attention to those kind of things, and it doesn’t cost me any extra money to actually wear the nicer things in my closet.
I feel so much better wearing a coordinated outfit with clothes in good condition, jewelry, and matching accessories. My full makeup routine only takes ten minutes so I do it 365 days a year. Maybe I’m imagining things but I swear strangers are more polite when I look put together.
My seven year old niece is much nicer to me when I’m dressed up 😂
There is research that shows people do get treated better when they are dressed nicely and look put together.
I’m also a put-together person, even for travel. I don’t like feeling schlubby, so it’s more for me than it is for my treatment by others, but I do notice what you mention as well.
Over time I’ve focused on making my mornings and evenings feel luxurious. I wake up early so I can spend about an hour reading in the morning with a cup of coffee, make myself a delicious smoothie, and use a body scrub in the shower. At night I love putting on matching pajamas and my (well worn) sheets are super soft. Little things like that to slow down and create soft landings for yourself.
Oh I’ve decided the opposite. Idk about the lifestyle show, but I mean small but frivolous. Good coffee, with grinding the beans many morning. Nicely scented bath products. Good bedsheets and a comfy bed in general. Fancier water bottle than needed.
Decorating with family antiques helps my sh*tty apartment feel more luxurious. I have the wingback chair my grandparents got when they were first married, I have a steamer trunk my great-great-grandfather purchased in the 1800s, our walls are decorated with family art (ranging from amateur watercolors to RISD student doodles), and we have various knickknacks that I can pick out in the family photo albums spanning back decades. We also have IKEA Billy bookcases, but the antiques make everything feel more beautiful.
All my antiques came from FB marketplace or thrifting, but same. Life is so much nicer with solid wood and not having to touch icky laminated particle board.
I decided a while ago that thinner china tea cups are my favorite coffee cups. I now have saturday morning only tea cup and a sunday morning only tea cup. I use my nice but not china mugs for during the week. Thrifting these for a dollar or two.
Throwing open the curtains every morning before getting ready for the day
Season specific scented soap and body washes. I have a couple for each season and only buy new once I go through a product or season. It’s all just enough to have the off seasons on the upper shelf of the bathroom cabinet. Usually marshall’s or bath and body works sales.
Drinking coffee out of a real mug, never from a travel mug.
Frothed creamer (not cheap, but the Nespresso frother was a gift that has lasted me years)
Lighting incense every morning
Good shampoo/conditioner that smells amazing
Nice perfume in a cool bottle (not cheap, but again was a gift and lasts me forever since I barely use it)
Lamps on timers
Gel manicures every 3 weeks
From my grad school days. “Cola” isn’t bad but I do love getting my name brand sodas.
Making time to properly blow dry my hair every now and then.
Wearing natural fabrics (polyester etc gives me static).
Having and caring for a pet. It’s a luxury because not everyone can do this, and it’s expensive but doesn’t have to be depending on what you get. A beautiful fish tank can be quite relaxing.
I buy the slightly brandname expo whiteboard markers (my office stocks some generic, streaky kind) and it’s completely worth it
Good whiteboard markers are the best!!
Pretty much everything, much mentioned already, but good sheets, nice candles, personalized stationery, good pens, moleskin notebooks, getting my PJs laundered and pressed, dining by candlelight, always using the good china and silverware, basically always using the good stuff, fancy salt, fancy oils, good wine, etc etc etc. None of this is especially expensive but makes a real difference in my one wild and precious life that’s too short.
I have come around to believing this is a general mindset you can choose to have. The barefoot contessa memoir was actually really inspiring to me where she talked about her and Jeffrey being in paris with no money, but getting such joy out of an affordable farmers market dinner, sitting in a park. You can choose to quickly eat a basic dinner or you can choose to sit at a table with a nice table setting, put on some music you enjoy and just take the time to be present.
As you need something new, you can choose patterns/textures/colors that bring you joy. I used to default to a lot of neutrals in home stuff, but now I try to have more color in things like art, pillows, etc. I’m not spending more money, just being more intentional when I am picking things out.
I posted above that this is my approach to essentially everything and you put this perfectly, it’s a mindset.
My very expensive daily essentials.
1. Peugeot salt and pepper grinder, putting salt and pepper on things is just so much more luxe
2. Carina Organics hair care, it smells so nice, no gross silicones, clean fresh hair
3. Ralph Lauren Cotton knit blanket, it’s like a giant sweater when watching tv, none of that icky fleece.
I’m curious as to what gave you a viscerally negative reaction? I have said before that I think this board skews way more puritanical about luxury than anyone I know in real life and it’s a mindset I struggle to understand.
That said, I would encourage you to incorporate little luxuries in your life. I have a family member who just truly lives her life like she loves herself and it’s a wonderful mindset. Every morning she opens her window and changes her pillow case and spritzes her sheets with linen spray. To me that’s crazy glamour and luxury.
I do think this is a lot about lifestyle choices vs actual spending. We just visited my in-laws and they are not cheap or unable to afford luxurious things, and we went to enough spendy dinners together, but staying with them was just kind of depressing – old pillows and sheets that haven’t aged well and made everyone sneeze that they won’t throw out, plastic dishes because they’re afraid to break things and have to clean up glass, way too much stuff cluttering every room, and a paranoia about going to the beach because of “sand in the house!” Meanwhile, one of my friends growing up lived in a one bedroom walk up with her single mom and they never had money but her mom is still the person I go to for all my good travel/culture ideas. She would take us to museums on free nights to see amazing exhibitions and then we would sit in the park and eat a picnic dinner that consisted of just a really good baguette, some cheese and whatever fruit she brought from home as a musician played somewhere nearby and lightening bugs illuminated the evening – the whole thing cost maybe $20, including the $1-2 for the musician’s hat on the way home, but it was absolutely fantastic.
I absolutely LOVE this. There is something about living beautifully with your means that’s just lovely.
This reminds me of the line from the classic “Auntie Mame” – “Life is a banquet! And some poor suckers are starving to death!”
I am not a rich lady of leisure, so I tend to find shows like that unrelatable too, and the waste and consumerism really get to me sometimes. I haven’t watched Meghan Markle’s new show if that’s the one you mean, and maybe it is otherwise delightful, but a clip I saw online showed her buying peanut butter pretzels to have as a snack for a guest staying with her. She had also purchased a separate clear plastic bag to which she transferred the peanut butter pretzels and added a label indicating that they had peanut butter in them in case of allergies…for a friend she presumably knows well enough to know they like peanut butter. That is not the type of “elevated” lifestyle tip I find helpful, and the world does not need more plastic bags.
But I definitely do things that are meaningful to me and think everyone should! After trying lots of coffee brands over the years, I found one I really enjoy and always have it in stock. I change my pillowcase daily. Reading relaxes and recharges me, so I carve out some time to read each weekend, usually snuggled up on the couch with a (cheap) candle lit in cold months or on the back patio under an umbrella with a cool drink when the weather is nice. All my warm weather socks are the same so I can mix and match freely without spending time pairing up the socks after doing laundry, a small chore yes, but one I just don’t like! Little things like that make my life easier and more enjoyable.
Turning your every-so-often treats into your all-the-time basics. I like olives, and I used to save the fancy olives for special occasions. Now I buy them whenever I feel like it, but I still feel rich.
We only buy Fage yogurt now because it’s my husband’s favorite.
We have house cleaners come each month. Our next lifestyle upgrade will likely be having them come 2x/month. It never gets old to walk into a clean house!
We just splurged on first class tickets for an international flight, and it was AMAZING. We’re looking to turn that into a more regular thing, though the cost is prohibitive sometimes. But getting out of the mindset that we must buy the cheapest flights, even if the itinerary is terrible, the seats are in the back of the plane by the bathroom, etc. We can afford a bit more comfort than that!
Having a vacuum cleaner on every floor.
Throwing away towels that are stained but are otherwise perfectly good for drying things (or people).
Throwing away clothes just because I don’t like them any more.
I know it’s wasteful but there is a lot of freedom in giving yourself permission to just throw something away instead of donating, giving away on FB Marketplace, etc.
Oh, but it’s so easy to give it. Please just give it away.
+1, come on.
Not sure it counts as a “little thing,” but I splurge on expensive sunglasses about once a year. Doesn’t matter if I’m in sweats, no make up and unwashed hair, the sunglasses make me feel fancy. They don’t care if I gain or lose 15 pounds. They don’t seem to go in and out of style as radically as other accessories. I know it’s just sunglasses, but it makes me feel good when I leave the house.
My PG tips tea in the morning with my sourdough toast made from a fresh loaf from a local bakery feels like luxury to me. And the loaf is $5 so the same price as the grocery store – it’s just better and a slight hassle to get there to buy it a couple of times a week. Worth it.
It’s the best tea, and I recently found it at Target!
Some people really care about this as showing care to others. I have friends with full-time middle class salaries who love to make little gifts for friends but it’s not a burden because it brings them joy. I personally don’t do those things but I grow a lot of cut flowers in my garden (zinnias or sunflowers or wildflowers if you don’t want to do a lot of work) so in the summer I can have fresh cut flowers in my house. I eat dinner at my dining table for most meals, not just special occasions.
From Martha Stewart and Julia Child on, these kinds of shows are really aspirational escapism. Personally I would rather watch this type of show rather than the trad wife content where they’re faking a lifestyle they could not achieve without wealth. At least don’t be a hypocrite and claim you’re making all of the ingredients for 10 kids from scratch in a white dress on a $50,000 a year family income.
An update – I posted a few days ago asking about how to handle being informed I was being given an internal transfer to a role that doesn’t make sense for my career – thanks to the good advice of everyone here, I asked some more open ended questions, and it turns out – it wasn’t really about the other team needing me so much as it was, my department needed to cut headcount and my role was eliminated. So I am functionally laid off – which scks but at least makes more sense a “surprise, your job changed!”
Now I have to decide whether to take the new role on offer
It’s clearly not a good long term position; I of course know the smarter, safer thing to do is take it, and start looking while still working, especially given how unstable *everything* feels. But I am really really at the end of my rope with this company overall, and everything in my heart wants to just quit, and I am just not sure I have anything left in the tank to fake it through a few more months. If they were willing to treat it as a layoff, it would be an easy decision. Worst case, I could live without unemployment.
By all means actively search for a new external role, but it’s a very tough market right now, and there are plenty of people with great experience and qualifications who can’t get a job even after more than a year. I do NOT recommend cold quitting.
I know, I know, I never thought I would be someone who quit without something lined up and I understand all the negatives. I feel wildly ungrateful even considering it, knowing others are struggling so much
But, there’s also… even if I were unemployed, I would not apply for this new job, unless I were truly desperate, and I’m not yet. There’s a cost to working 40 hrs a week + 10 hrs commuting (the new role is out of a different office) when I could spend that time/energy on applying. There’s a cost to having my current role be absolutely not what I want my next role to be. There’s a cost to not being able to tell my network widely I’m on the market due to a layoff. There’s a cost to being so miserable and demotivated at work that I’d ask my doctor for antidepressants, except it’s… only at work.
Consider this. Can you go 6 or 12 months without work? What about 18 months? How would you feel a year and a half from now with long term unemployment? This is not hyperbolic. Depending on your industry, there are extremely well qualified professionals that can’t find work.
That commute stinks! Is there any way you can push back on that and work from home/your old office?
If you’ve built up some PTO, start using it liberally.
10 hours commuting doesn’t stink, that’s 30 minutes each way. Listen to a podcast, get a coffee, engage with the world.
10 hours commuting is an hour each way! That’s a lot.
That said, I would not quit in your circumstance.
I’m guessing that “miserable and demotivated” is the dominant thing you’re experiencing right now. And underneath that depressive feeling is probably . . . anger.
You’re going to need to work through this emotional reaction, and you can do that while employed or while unemployed.
I know several colleagues with masters degrees in “sensible” subjects and great experience, who are approaching 2 years unemployed and aren’t getting many interviews even when applying to jobs every weekday. Honestly I hate to say this, but take the meds and keep looking while employed…I think after a while without work, people are getting screened out or making up consulting jobs. Don’t put yourself through that.
Is there severance if they have to lay you off? Sometimes those packages can be lucrative.
No severance, and they are claiming I would be ineligible for unemployment because I was offered another role.
I save aggressively and live frugally, and I really could be out of work for 1-2 years and be okay. I’m trying to make sure my emotions about the communications aren’t driving me, but I was genuinely considering quitting with nothing lined up before the news. And so maybe this is just the last push out the door
I hear horror stories about the job market third hand; but everyone I know personally with a similar background to mine has actually been ok, including a colleague who recently hit the limit & walked – and had a new better job in less than a month; and everyone from our last major round of layoffs ended up with a new role in ~6 months.
Definitely not going to do anything rash; I have meetings lined up with the new manager to get more info on what the actual role is, and with HR for better info on logistics and options – right now I am still in the dark on some pretty important elements
These are all great questions, and I appreciate the different perspectives people have brought!
I think they’re not laying her off, so no severance.
10 hours of commuting is an hour each way, which I think is a lot to most people!
Look up constructive dismissal and don’t take their word that you won’t be eligible for unemployment. With a change of site and duties you could very well be eligible.
For real. You would be absolutely insane to quit unless you’re independently wealthy and don’t actually need a job. Somehow I doubt that’s the situation. You should be immensely grateful your company saved you from a layoff, thank your old boss and your new one. I cannot even with this nonsense.
Are you prepared financially to be unemployed a year? Take the role and job hunt
Hmm make it 3 years. The US economy is taking a massive hit and there really aren’t many jobs.
Look actively now, and line something up to start asap
Thanks for the update, I was one of the posters that suggested some questions to ask. It’s infuriating that they didn’t tell you this at the beginning. Maybe they thought it’d be better for you to not know your role was eliminated, but what they’ve now done is given you two blows.
I know you want to quit, believe me, many of us have been there. You are rightfully angry and emotional now, and shouldn’t! Take the rest of this week through the weekend to catch your breath, and do some kind things for yourself. Then, think about how you can make it palatable to stay until you find the next thing. It could be big or small, but what will make your days more pleasant? Don’t think of it as faking it, think of it as the terms of your employment have changed and you are now bringing a “different” self to work.
I need to run to an appointment but please post again if you have more questions.
Here’s a thought exercise. What if they had presented this to you differently— first, told you your position is being eliminated (and let that shock & horror sink in that you’re unemployed). Then offered you this other position.
That happened to me & I was grateful to accept the other position though I wouldn’t have qualified for severance etc.
Also, in my case I ended up moving back to the original position after a year, so it was worth exhibiting a good attitude in the meantime.
And that’s a good consideration to bring up, and a reasonable possible outcome in my case
Heh, it is a good thought experiment! Genuinely, thinking about being laid off would feel relieved and happy and hopeful – like “I gave this my best effort, and it’s time for a fresh start”. And then stressed and concerned and sinking stomach to hear about the other role, because it means I have a hard decision to make
My boss is leaving for vacation tomorrow and I. Am. Counting. The. Minutes.
A week long break from her will be like a vacation for me.
My boss is out of the office this week it is so awesome not to hear his step in the hall outside my office. I am working hard, but there is such an improvement in my mood when I am not being micromanaged and second guessed.
Exactly! I really like the work I do…it’s my boss that’s the hard part.
question for the constitution experts out there. let’s say a group of friends and I attend a public college, and we are mad that our college serves oranges in the dining hall and we want them to stop contracting with orange farms and instead contract with banana producers, so a group of 30 of us dress up in yellow banana costumes, paint our faces, etc. and enter a classroom building, interrupt a class – presumably we’ve violated some kind of school policy? have we also violated a law if we are asked to leave and don’t? I would think, in this case, our ‘constitutionally protected freedom of speech’ rights are not being hindered as there can be limits as to the when, how, etc. of speech. now, let’s say a group of 300 of us follow the school policy for protests in terms of location, hours, sound, etc., and gather to protest for the bananas – presumably, this is allowed. And while the content of our speech is the same, as the first example, since our conduct is ok, it is fine. If we were complying with all of the policies and forced to disperse or expelled, then we could claim our constitutionally protected rights to freedom of speech were violated? if the rules are that protests can be from 7am-10pm and then groups must disperse, no encampments, etc. but we start at 4am or keep going until midnight, again we’ve violated some kind of policy, and are forced to disperse, we could not make that claim? how does this change at a private university?
i dont know the answer, but the image of a bunch of college students running around dressed like bananas is what my brain needed this morning.
Someone else can chime in on the constitutionality of it, but I will say that I believe it’s a moral violation of other students’ right to education to disrupt class. Some people have gone to enormous lengths to be able to attend college; for others, it’s just a place to be the center attention, and they shouldn’t be able to do that at anyone else’s expense (literally their expense – it’s hundreds of dollars to attend one class).
Chemerinsky, a leading constitutional law scholar, wrote a book called Free Speech on Campus that answers all these questions.
And for anyone who didn’t already know, Chemerinsky and his wife were the victims of an illegal, antisemitic protest at their private residence. Apparently the protesters equated “Jew” with “controls all the money at UC Berkeley.”
He wrote the book first, then became the subject of an objectionable protest at his own home. (I do think it was his position as Dean that made the protesters think he might have some say in allocation of money, but don’t let me ruin a good narrative.)
Very short answer – the government can regulate the time, place, and manner of speech. For example, you can’t use a megaphone on the main quad at 3 AM, regardless of what the message is. Clearly no first amendment violation to prohibit anyone from disrupting a class they are not a student in.
My husband works in higher ed administration (I do too but I am faculty and don’t understand the administration side of things) and I asked him some questions about assembling back during the pro-Palestinian encampments at some of the Ivys.
He was saying that Universities have policies in place that govern students’ ability to assemble – and that those policies include things like use of hate speech and non-disruption of other students’ learning and ability to go to class. If you are following those requirements, then I think you are not subject to University sanctions.
As for the constitutionality of it, I’m not sure – but I do know that there are University protocols students must follow to be in alignment with the campus expectations.
Girl bye.
Yes, time, place, and manner restrictions that are viewpoint neutral are typically allowed by governmental entities under the First Amendment.
Private entities can typically have whatever restrictions they like unless there’s a law on point. For example, California has an Education Code provision requiring private colleges to essentially treat themselves as governmental entities with respect to student speech.
Dumb silly questions of the day:
1. What color do you associate with different months/season in general? (not specifically related to fashion or holidays)
For me:
January – icy pale blue
February – warm dark brown, or black
March – golden rod
April – a slightly greyed purple
May – sunflower yellow
June – spring green or a capri/ocean blue
July – primary red, or white
August – lilac purple
September – orange peel orange, not overly saturated but bright
October – steel grey, or black
November – burgundy
December – navy blue
2. How do you “see” the calendar year in your mind? If you do!
I have certain months in specific ‘positions’ in my minds eye. The best I can describe them:
August – is to the left about 6 inches infront of my left shoulder,
september – is above that about 4-5 inches,
october – is at 11 oclock just above eye level,
november – floats around my left eye
december – is straight ahead but off center to the left just slightly, but further away (about 2 feet) distance wise from me
January – is a bit closer than december but on level with my right eye
February – is to the right about halfway between my right eye and my right ear but hangs out about the same distance as december
March and April and down below eye level on the right but overlapping with april closer to me
june – about arms distance a way to the right, May is about half that distance
July – at my nose
It sounds like you have synesthesia. Most of us don’t! Do notes on a musical scale also appear as different colors in your mind?
Do you associate times of the year (demarked as a month or season) with any certain sensory experiences?? Smells, sensations, tastes?
Like the whole ‘March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb, April showers bring May flowers’ association of Months = Thing.
They don’t! I enjoy music generally, but have no musical sense and couldn’t tell you a single thing about how music works beyond sound waves are happening.
No, this is not a common thing.
I think this is a you thing.
Synthesia. For me, it manifests most as genders for numbers, letters, months and days. I don’t really have it as colors…sometimes the letters, but I think that’s based on an alphabet puzzle I had as a kid! But to your question, the week is a wheel like a pie chart and the calendar is more of a tire with the center cut out (maybe actually more like an octagon?) Saturday and Sunday are at the top and January is at the top, with December and February close to the top but not quite level.
And if you’re curious, 1, 3, 5, 7, 8- boy; 2, 4, 6, 9- girl.
Jan, Feb, Jun, Jul, Oct, Nov, Dec – boy; Mar, Apr, May, Aug, Sept – girl.
Tues, Thurs, Fri, Sat – boy; Sun, Mon, Wed – girl
Wow just wow. I never met or heard of anybody else associating numbers, letters , weekdays and months with gender. I myself have done it my whole life .
Thank you!!
I have a bit of the color thing, so I’ll bite:
January – deep red or magenta
February – dark green
March – grayish blue
April – peachy orange
May – pale yellow
June – pink
July – pink, darker than June
August – orange
September – medium blue
October – black
November – deep maroon
December – light brown
I picture the months in a circle, with January at the 6 o’clock which apparently (according to all of my friends) is abnormal.
January is also ice blue, March is deep green, April/May are lighter green and May is also light pink, summer is light yellow, November is brownish. The other months don’t have colors.
It’s literally a cycle, so the wheel visualisation makes total sense. Surprised this isn’t common.
They a) don’t see it that way but b) are horrified January is at 6 o clock. They all think it should be at 12 o’clock
Life begins in Spring so to be honest March is my 1. Haha
Christmas and New Year are close to my chest (flat elipse for me). Makes sense to me that January is at 6 o clock.
My January is at 11 o’clock and the months run counter-clockwise so December is midnight and February is 2 o’clock.
My year is on a curled ribbon spiral, stretched out sideways and slowly rotating in space so the relevant month of the year is facing me. It rolls from one year right in to the next, and the past is to the left while the future is to the right.
Sounds like Jeremy Bearimy
none of this
I like this one! Let me add, how do you see time?
Seconds: confetti flakes
Minutes: little round balls
Hours: oval
Day: cube
Week: 7 cubes stacked
Month: large round ball
Years: ribbons – time travel is when spots on the ribbon get stuck to each other.
I have images for these I think:
Seconds: counting mississippi’s for seconds is so ingrained that I just see a brown s-bend river. So, brown rivers stacked on each other like transparency sheets
Minutes: yellowish/cream colored clock face with the hands moving clockwise
Hours: bluish clock face but at an angle perpendicular from me with the hands moving counter clockwise
Day: remember the number or timelines from school? Day is one unit or segment on the time line
Week: 7 segments on the time line Or squares like a paper calendar with Mon-Friday together in the top row, sunday is in the row below under monday and saturday is under friday
Month: a big square
maybe my comment got eaten so apologies if two posts show up.
Thanks all for leaning into this silly question!
It blows my mind that some people don’t have a ‘minds eye’ or ‘inner voice’ for their thoughts! Who do you all talk to all day! where do the thoughts go! I don’t listen to music often when working otherwise I can’t hear myself think.
I have images for these:
Seconds: Mississippi rivers (picture nat-geo magazine image of a muddy brown s-bend river) laid over eachother like tr*nsparancy sheets
Minutes: yellow/cream clock face with the hand moving clockwise
Hours: blue clock face at a perpendicular angle with hand moving counter clockwise
Days: one unit on a number or timeline – like you’d draw out in grade school (the unit for ‘tomorrow’ is green)
Weeks: 7 segments on the number/timeline. More strongly though, paper calendar grid with Mon-Friday in the top row. The second row is Sunday underneath monday and saturday under friday.
Month: large square, white with a black outline
year: ball
time travel is when the floaty space plasma ribbon gets mushed onto itself
I don’t visualize time in any way like you do (it does sound like synesthesia!) but absolutely have an inner voice / can visualize things in my mind when I want to.
I picture the year as a rounded diamond almost. But I can’t describe it at all. My words don’t match up with my mental picture. Glad to know I’m not the only one!
Calendar synesthesia?
Why does this post have me humming “they’re not like us?” This is just not how I experience the world. And that is an observation, not a criticism.
I remember when I first learned that a lot of people verbalize their thoughts or think in words or describe thinking like an unspoken voice in their head.
Also that not everyone imagines things by literally picturing detailed images of them in their mind.
Now I feel like anything goes, and I have no idea how other people may think or reason! It makes me wonder how much this varies in other species who can’t describe their thoughts (do some cats or dogs have a stronger visual imagination than others? different dreams?).
I agree that this is one of those differences that I truly cannot fathom. There’s a voice in my head all day, every day, through every waking hour and even my sleeping hours (many of my dreams are highly verbal, sometimes exclusively so). It only sort of stops if I fill my brain with more words, which may explain why I’m a compulsive reader and podcast listener. However, I do also picture detailed visual images in my mind when imagining something or recalling past events, so this isn’t to the exclusion of images. I also can’t really wrap my head around people not doing that, though I know there are people that can’t.
Wait do most people not have a narrator?
I do not have a narrator! Sounds annoying. : )
I’ve read that anywhere between 10% and 70% have no inner voice, depending on how you define it.
Wait, what? How can you have a voice in your head all day. That sounds exhausting. Does it sound like your mother? I am fascinated by this.
When I was younger, my narrator was male. Deep voice, almost like a James Earl Jones sound. Now my narrator is usually me. Sometimes it’s still a deep male voice.
I wouldn’t call mine a narrator, and it definitely doesn’t sound like my mother. It sounds like me, because I’m basically just having a conversation with myself all day, alternating with mentally preparing or rehashing conversations or presentations or things I’m writing or reading.
I have full on conversations all day long with my inner narrator. She sounds like me, but with more of a radio voice.
I am loving this discussion! I agree with icy pale blue for January, March is green, June is sunny golden yellow, October is pumpkin orange, November is cool dark brown.
I also picture the calendar, although mine is more oval than circle, and January is around 1pm. The months are not evenly spaced around the oval and the spacing does not correspond with the actual length of each month. I have no explanation for why they are spaced out in the way that they are!
Does anyone else picture numbers? As in, I “see” a visual progression from 0 to 100 or so in my mind. Above 100 it keeps going but from there on it gets fuzzy. It’s not a straight line – there are turns in it that are definitely not at logical points.
I see them in groups that sit in little bunches together with some space between. When I count to myself they come out together in their bunches with pauses in between the bunches.
the groups are: (from left to right) 1-5, 6 all alone, 7-9, 10-12, 13-15, 16 alone, 17-18-19 are a bunch but not all next to each other. 20-21, 22-24, 25-29, 30 all alone, and then just 100 some where lost in space all alone.
I have to visually be able to see the number in my mind, and mental math is hard for me. I have to mentally see myself write out the arithmetic to do mental math.
I LOVE this thread! I’ve never gotten to share this with anyone before.
I also picture the calendar as an oval, a bit bigger at the bottom, like a tear drop shape, and the months aren’t even sizes. It exists in a vertical plane. In my mind, January is at the top, starting at 12 and moving counter-clockwise. I visualize myself/the present in the calendar, and I am moving down it as the months pass, until I get to the summer months where it bottoms out and begins to go up again starting in August. In the summer, I feel like I am looking upwards to the winter months. Then, in fall, we move “up” the calendar until leveling out in December. The summer months are larger than the others.
January is dark blue/indigo
February is light blue
March is kelly green
April is a light teal
May is rose/pink
June is either light blue or light pink
July is crimson
August is yellow ochre
September is a warm brown, like burnt sienna
October is pale gray
November is burnt umber
December is a warm orange
Oh my god. I just realized I picture the year in a linear fashion, but backwards. So December on the far left, January on the far right. What in the world?
For colors, January is light blue, feb mauve, march green, April marigold, may pink, June royal blue, July navy blue, august red orange, September dark red, October orange, november brown, December dark green.
Wow- reading your comment, I realize that’s exactly how I picture the calendar, too!
I don’t have synasthesia for months or time, but if I am to allocate colours,
January: white/grey
February: dark grey brown
March: green
April: sky blue
May: yellow
June: pale pink
July: hot pink
August: orange
September : dark green
October: burgundy
November: grey
December: navy blue
The year is a circle with January 1 at 12 o’clock.
This is the weirdest post I’ve read since that person on moms who only bathes her kids every other week
This is fascinating to me as I and one of my children have very specific feelings about certain colors, so that we’ll say “oh that’s a nice blue, so soothing” as to a car driving by, and the other one will agree or disagree with counterpoints. My other kid and husband think we’re bonkers. Brains are weird :)
Playing along, I didn’t think I had super strong feelings about month = color, but did have some reactions to your color combos:
January – icy pale blue – YES
February – warm dark brown, or black – RED OR MAROON FOR ME, FOR VALENTINES DAY
March – golden rod – GREEN FOR SPRING/SPROUTS
April – a slightly greyed purple GREEN FOR SPRING/SPROUTS OR A PASTEL LIGHT BLUE, YELLOW OR GREEN FOR EASTER
May – sunflower yellow – AGREE
June – spring green or a capri/ocean blue – MOVING FROM PASTEL TO JEWEL TOWN
July – primary red, or white – A RICH JEWEL TONE
August – lilac purple – DARKER FOR ME, MORE LIKE A DARK BURGUNDY
September – orange peel orange, not overly saturated but bright – STILL IN THE BURGUNDY FAMILY
October – steel grey, or black – ORANGE
November – burgundy – BROWN
December – navy blue – RED
I don’t really have the months as colors, but I think of cities in terms of colors, and frame my ideal location in terms of a color.
The colors are highly associated with the dominant weather. So where I live in the Bay Area is usually a nice, pale yellow with a clear, bright blue sky. It’s sunny and 70-75 degrees with a light breeze, so this tends to be the color of the whole city.
In contrast, Texas and Arizona are a bright orange. They’re super hot, so the burning sun produces this color.
Seattle, Vancouver, and Portland are a light gray. They tend to be 60-65 degrees, cloudy, and a bit drizzly, so that’s the color.
Regardless of whether all of these cities are this way all of the time, that’s what I see in my mind when I think of them. And when I think about my ideal location, I say that it needs to be a nice pale yellow (even though I don’t actually like yellow as a color, but again, it’s more that this is the color of a mild temperature on a nice day).
Such a cool discussion. I’ve never really thought about it, but I think of seasons in a sensory way.
Jan. – crisp, cold, bright, smells like the first snow of the year, a white that’s so bright it’s blue, like a glacial blue. Sounds/feels crunchy like walking through snow.
Feb. – cold and dreary, that glacial blue but with a gray coating. Smells like ozone and snow, feels like wet snow.
Mar. – green and yellow, bright, smells like daffodils. Crackly but damp, like walking on last year’s fallen leaves.
Apr. – green, white, purple, yellow, but misty. Smells like it’s about to rain and lilacs. Feels wet like splashing in puddles.
May – pinks and purples. Brighter than April but not quite bright yet. Smells like after it rains and lots of pollen and different flowers. Feels like walking on lush moss or new grass, but a little muddy.
June – dark green like lush forests. Smells like freshly cut grass. Feels pokey, like cut coarse grass on your feet.
July – yellow and wavy like heat off the pavement. Feels itchy like your skin after you sweat and biting insects.
Aug. – browns and yellows. Crunchy like dried grass. Smells humid but feels dry.
Sept. – fading green to yellow, orange, red. Smells like falling leaves.
Oct. – orange. Smells like the first crisp day of fall and pumpkin spice.
Nov. – browns and faded orange. Feels like wool.
Dec. – candle light, smells like fire and pine
I love this! I have some sound/color synesthesia and these are my months:
January – a rich, dark, semi translucent red
February – light blue
March – red, more orange and lighter than January
April – yellow/gold
May – dark, glimmering blue
June – coral
July – orange-red, highly saturated
August – light yellow
September – tan/brown, matte
October – dark blue/black
November – dark faded brown
December – white
Navy blue is a year-round color for me. I like to add greens in, especially very dark greens, around December and keep them through March-ish. As it rains and the grasses green up in the spring I think of all the colors of the ocean, so all shades of blue and the colors in between blue and green.
I usually wear a red sweater or jacket for Thanksgiving.
I do think of earthy browns and orangey reds for the hottest days of fall (Bay Area, so fall is our summer) but I don’t actually wear them.
And of course I think of whites in the summer, especially white and navy together, plus turquoise colored jewelry (though I don’t actually love the style of most turquoise jewelry.)
I have synesthesia so yes I see months in colors but not the same as yours. I also see letters, numbers and names in color. For example, A is yellow. E is green. March is yellow. January is white.
Colors (fairly predictable):
January = royal blue
February = camellia pink
March = hot pink, coral
April = light yellow, light purple
May = Medium blue, orange
June = Sunny yellow, bright pastels
July = RWB
August = Mustard yellow
September = brown
October = Orange
November = Thanksgiving colors
December = Red & Green
Late to the game but I had to chime in because I visualize the months of the year in a weird way.
The year is sort of an equilateral triangle, pointed upward. January is the uppermost vertex, and fed, mar, april run down the lefthand side. May is the bottom left vertex, with june, july, august along the bottom. Sept is the final bottom right vertex, with oct, nov, dec up the righthand side.
So bizarre.
I associate colors with numbers, but not with months. I do see the months laid out in space but not the way you do. So interesting !
Can anyone recommend any books or courses to train junior lawyers on how to review and redline commercial contracts?
When I was in law school about a thousand years ago, I took a course called something like “Drafting Business Documents.” I have said a hundred times that it was the most useful class I ever took. I even thought at the time that it should have been mandatory. So I am no help, but this is something the kids should be learning in law school.
Ages ago, so I forget which one, but either Working With Contracts: What Law School Doesn’t Teach You by Charles Fox or Ken Adams’s book was really helpful.
As an in-house paralegal, this post explains why our GC has me review our contracts and rarely provides input after reviewing my work, and why they have our associate run their contract review through me for further edits.
Laura Frederick who has a business / training program called How to Contract. You should be able to find her online using these search terms. She also has an annual conference. It’s not my area of law, but I find her LI posts insightful and easy to understand, so although I have not taken the course, I thought it might be an option.
Perennial question warning: I need to refresh my work bag.
I have had the Cuyana tote that I don’t think I see on the website currently, which is a little said. It’s the old Classic Structured Leather Tote, no zipper. I love it. I’ve had it since 2019 and it’s been beat the he ll out of and has held up incredibly well. This bag owes me nothing more ha.
I think even if it was on the website I would probably still look and see what’s out there before re-buying just to confirm the decision, but seems like I may need to start my search fresh (someone tell me if I’m just missing it?!).
So, what are the best bags out there? No zipper, large-ish, durable as all he ll, no logos. Preference for sub $500, but could be swayed. I’m in finance so looking polished is incredibly important, but I also need function. TIA.
I’m eyeing Strathberry for my next tote. I love the subtle hardware.
This was my go to/workhorse bag for years as well, but the strap finally snapped. I looked at everything, ordered and returned several bags. None was as perfect as that bag. I finally gave up and bought a new version of my Cuyana tote on poshmark. Not sure why they quit selling that tote.
You know you can get things fixed . . .
It snapped in the middle of the strap. Took it to highest rated cobbler in our metro area and it came back awful. Completely unusable for me. I ended up using the leather from the bag to make some gifts (magnetic hat holders).
Phoebe Philo era Celine Phantom Cabas Tote — so classic.
Wait why do you want something new? Is it just looking old? Take it somewhere where it can be repaired and refreshed.
is this the one you have?
https://cuyana.com/products/classic-easy-tote
Not original poster but this is a different bag. They had a structured tote — it would stand on its own and retain it structure.
I have the OG tote too, as well as a zippered one in a different color. Apparently I need to cling to them for dear life, because they really have been the best.
Any recs for knee strengthening exercises that don’t include squats? Dealing with some postpartum joint pain (apparently it’s the relaxin) and I need to strengthen up again, but some of my former go-tos hurt my knees. I never had knee pain before so this is a new journey.
I would recommend PT to figure out what the actual issue is first!
HOWEVER, I had patellar tendonitis and this is what I do for it:
– heel to b u m stretch 3x each side
– hip flexor stretch over side of bed or counter (helpful to have a 2nd person to pull your leg back)
– knee taping w/ kinesio tape (this you need the PT to tell you/show you how to do it for your particular issue! If it is a tracking problem you need different taping than for tendonitis!)
– walking clamshells w/ knees slightly bent and band/tubing around feet
– short arc quad w/ ankle weight around foot and foam roller under knee
– hamstring curl under a chair w/ band
– straight leg raise w/ ankle weight on foot
– side leg raise w/ ankle weight on foot
+1 to PT. You are doing all kinds of things that can be causing the knee pain, including how you are holding and carrying your new arrival. Getting ahead of it now will only help you as the new arrival is only going to get heavier.
Have you tried strength/mobility routines aimed at runners? Something like this: https://runninforsweets.com/knee-strengthening-exercises-for-runners/
I also had a phase of knee pain that was aggravated by squats and lunges a few years ago. I searched YouTube for “no squats no lunges lower body workout” and used only those videos for a few weeks. I don’t think they specifically helped my knees, but they helped me keep my legs strong without worsening the pain.
Check out Alyssa Kuhn on YouTube. She has videos on how to improve knee strength for people with joint issues and arthritis.
Knees over toes program is very popular.
Knee pain can be caused by problems higher in the kinetic chain. Note that a weak pelvic floor can cause knee pain. First step is to see a PT.
Bicycling really helps my knee.
Agree with suggestions to see a PT. For me, knee pain is usually downstream of glute/core weakness/disengagement; a good PT can help you figure out what’s really going on and how to most effectively address it.
I originally was looped in to a job interview process via a recruiter. It’s at a company I know really well. I know lots of senior people including the managing partner – but the exact vertical leadership of the subject job were new contacts for me. There have been several months (7+) of discussions and over the last 2-ish months in particular the vertical leadership was reaching out to me directly vs going through the recruiter. I’m still tangentially talking to the recruiter and they are still her account (she does all of their retained searches), but the last two conversations in particular were set up directly by the vertical leadership.
In this conversation the vertical leader said he needed “just a few weeks, and definitely not as much as 6 months, I promise!” to sort something out internally before they can put the job on paper (they’re creating this job for me, and it’s very senior, which is why it’s such a long lead time). It’s been 5 weeks and I’m anxious to ask for an update. My questions are (1) can I just go directly to the leadership and not include the recruiter? She tends to muddy things a little, and that’s been acknowledged by the company’s hiring team, and (2) how do I follow up when my reason for inquiring is nothing more than just being eager to make a change but also make sure things are advancing whereas they’ve been self-admittedly slow?
You don’t. You wait. They haven’t forgotten you.
Fair. Very fair.
Since I really need my tomatoes to grow this year, lol, I need a better gardening plan than I’ve been working with (read: no plan, buying plants and watching them grow slowly and produce no fruit).
I’m in southern CT and would love to grow some tomatoes, zucchini, peppers, maybe some other easy things? I’ve identified a plot that gets a decent amount of sun but not all day… do I need to start the seeds now? When do I put them in the ground, and when/how do I protect them from the myriad wildlife that comes through our yard?
I would love all the encouragement, advice, and directions as though I’m five.
I don’t know except squirrel netting has been very helpful for me.
tomatoes, zucchini and peppers are all summer fruits. peppers are hard to grow yourself I think, but if you buy some this year you can overwinter them — same with tomato cuttings.
For tomatoes some people will tell you to start them nowish to have them be a decent size when you want to plant them – look at garden.org, under tools they have a veggie calendar they give you once you enter your zip code. you will need tomato cages and about a 2×2 square for each tomato plant, and they need to be buried deep. zukes also take up a lot of space.
this is my first year starting things from seed indoors and I’ve tried to focus on plants that have won AAS awards; you can look at the AAS website or many seed sites have a separate category for them. Botanical Interests and MI Gardener are two good sources for seeds; a lot of people have luck with the Dollar Store seeds also (the 4/$1.25 ones, not the bigger packs.)
I’m not in Connecticut, so I’m not sure when you should put them in the ground.
But I will say my partner has a large garden in the front yard and has started his seeds inside already (including tomatoes). The prevailing wisdom here is to wait until Easter weekend to plant summer crops in the ground. I’m in Arkansas (zone 7 I believe)
We have lots and lots of animals in the neighborhood. We have a very short fence around the garden (about 6 inches tall) that a person can very easily step over. The birds do get to a few things, but it’s enough of a hindrance that rabbits don’t invade. It probably also helps that we’ve got herbs and flowers and grass and everything else outside the main garden.
Instead of growing from seed, you could also get some starts. In my area, the farmers markets have some when it’s closer to planting time. There are also sales by local garden clubs with lots of choices.
I cannot give you practical advice, since I am not the gardener in my family, but my husband has a large kitchen garden in southern CT, and he loves the book New England Month by Month Gardening. From the eater/chef perspective, tomatoes, sugar snap peas, radishes, potatoes, and romaine lettuce have been some of our most successful crops.
Thanks for the rec, I’ll check it out! Peas and lettuce would be great to add
I used to plant tomatoes and would buy some small plants from a local garden center instead of starting from seed and usually got good results. I’m in Ohio and would wait until after Mother’s Day to put any plants in the ground.
Get some sturdy cages for the tomato plants as they grow taller. You can reuse them each year.
I also added Tomato Tone to the soil before planting. Make sure to water consistently.
I would suggest checking with a local garden center for other advice. They were more helpful to me than places like Lowes, etc. They may also have ideas on how to protect against animals.
Tomatoes and peppers generally you start indoors 6-8 weeks before last frost, so you should start them soon (Google tells me CT’s last frost is late April/early May). I usually wait to plant until about a week after my last average frost date. Zucchini does fine directly sown in the garden after last frost.
If you’re still getting the hang of it, I would honestly buy plants instead of starting from seed.
What wildlife damage did you get last year? Squirrel, slugs…?
Tomatoes are quite hungry plants. If you saw slow growth last year, the soil may not provide enough nutrients. It’s about $20 +shipping to get your soil tested, or you could just fertilize generously and see if that makes a difference.
Sometimes a state extension office will do a soil test for free! This is what we do every year. They will also recommend amendments if you want.
It’s probable my issue has been putting the tomatoes in pots on my deck…I did add some organic fertilizer at the start, but probably not enough space or nutrients to grow well. We have deer, rabbits, slugs (and foxes, coyotes, skunks, raccoons, everything!) so we were trying to hit the easy button and keep them safe up on the deck, but clearly that didn’t work out for us.
Tomatoes (and the other veggies mentioned) grow about a million better in the ground. I recommend buying starts from a local garden center and spending your effort on prepping your soil. I mix in compost and really loosen everything up in the spring. My local soil is dense clay, so it takes effort to make it productive.
Look up your hardiness zone – looks like it might be 6 or 7 depending on how close to the coast you are. Then ask google when plant each thing in your hardiness zone – that’s when you put them in the ground. Then you look at how long the seeds need to grow inside and start them accordingly. You very likely can find a chart for your hardiness zone that does this all for you.
Personally, I don’t mess around with starting seeds and I just buy starters from a local greenhouse. Tomatoes, zucchini, peppers have all been pretty easy for me to grow. If you’re buying good plants already and they’re dying/not producing, I wonder about your soil and/or your watering.
I highly recommend you supplementing your soil with a good amount of gardening soil/compost. My garden beds grow really prolifically because I have really good soil in them and add good stuff every spring. I’ll add more this year since I didn’t mulch last fall and winter is probably sucking all the good things out of the soil.
I do grow in 4 garden beds and we have a ton of squirrels and they almost never get into the gardens, so no advice there.
Tomatoes come in determinate and indeterminate varieties. If you get indeterminate tomatoes (I recommend), they will want to vine out and keep growing, so you need to give them stability. A cattle panel section bent over and ziptied to metal fence posts gives a lovely cheap arbor for giving your tomatoes something to grow all over.
Search for a gardening book specific to your area. A local nursery or library may have one. Mine is very helpful.
Not sure about your area, but my county has Master Gardeners who post regularly on
For your plants to have good production, you need to have full sun (6+ hours minimum, preferably more). If you don’t truly have full sun, you need a new location. Maybe that is why your tomatoes didn’t fruit in previous years?
You can start tomato and pepper seeds now if you want to grow from seed. There is nothing wrong with nursery starts, though. Put them in the ground when the soil warms up in May. Peppers especially like to be warm and planting too early can stunt their growth. Bigger pepper plants tend not to be very prolific, so if you want a lot of peppers grow something like a shishito. Zucchini should be directly seeded in your garden in May.
For better advice specific to your region, joint your local extension Facebook group.
A soil test would help you know if there are nutrient deficiencies or overloads that need to be addressed through fertilizer, and help you know what type of soil you have (sandy, clay, loam, etc.) so you know if you need to amend it and if so, with what. Search for your state agricultural extension office (often through a state university); they usually offer soil tests that are pretty cheap. It is good to run them every few years so you can adjust your fertilizer & compost application as needed.
For seeds, my area’s average last frost date is mid-May and I would typically have started tomatoes indoors in late February. Now isn’t too late, but I definitely wouldn’t wait. Tomato plants from a local greenhouse are much easier and less disappointing, though, particularly if you have no experience with seeds.
What kind of wildlife issues have you had before? Deer are probably only going to be kept out with a good fence and a motion-sensing sprinkler, while tomato worms need to be manually removed.
The FB group “CT Gardeners.”
My favorite natural wildlife deterrent is to give my dog and cats a good brushing, then take the fur and scatter or lightly bury it around the perimeter of the garden. The smell of “predators” keeps the small animals away!
Has anyone gone from very flexible hybrid work to fully in-office 5 days a week? How was the transition for you? I’m considering applying for a job I’m really interested in and qualified for, but the caveat is that it’s fully on-site with a 40 min (minimum, due to unreliable public transit) commute. No flexibility for WFH, I already asked. It’s funny because prior to the pandemic I was in a different role where I never worked from home, but I really, really love the flexibility I have now and it’s hard to imagine going back. On the other hand, I am desperate to get out of my toxic job. I don’t know what would make me unhappier, staying in my current role or having a long commute 2x a day five days a week.
You get used to everything. IME even 5 day in jobs have exceptions for things like doctors appointments and the like. I think more jobs are heading in this direction so I wouldn’t let that deter me. I go in 4 days and it’s absolutely fine, I actually like it better than when I WFH more often. It’s more consistent and easier to keep the same schedule.
I traded a flexible/hybrid role close to my home for a stretch job/promotion with less flexibility and longer commute, and I totally regret it. I was very open during the hiring process about needing flexibility and was told that the new job was totally fine with it, but in reality the work culture is not flexible at all and after I started they moved from hybrid to 5 days in the office. If they’re telling you upfront that it is not flexible, believe them. If it’s a 40 minute commute and your doctors are near your home, you won’t be able to squeeze in those appointments without taking PTO.
I don’t mind being in person, but the time wasted getting ready and commuting is a HUGE downgrade, even more so than I had braced for. My commute is more unreliable and longer than the OP’s (35 minutes – 1 hr in the morning and 55 minutes- 1 hr 20 in the evening). It is HORRIBLE. I am always stressed not knowing exactly when I’ll get into the office or back home. I try to plan in advance for early meetings but if there is a random accident or stalled vehicle, I am white knuckling it to barely make it in time for meetings. Likewise on the way home if I need to pick up my kids from an activity or attend an event.
Also, plan additional time for all the stuff you don’t really think about. The extra time it takes to get “fully” ready for work (hair done, formal dress, makeup – as opposed to sweats and a nicer top), pack all my lunch food and snacks for the day, etc. It probably adds up to an extra 45 minutes on top of the commute. I am so much less productive and waste so much time in the car and getting ready, it drives me insane.
I know most companies are moving more towards in person, but at least try to find something closer to home without as much of a commute.
Thanks for your thoughts, I really appreciate it. My commute would also be super unreliable due to public transit (I don’t have a car) so that’s something to consider for sure.
What do you mean by flexibility? I do not have a WFH job and I have plenty of flexibility to go to appointments, run errands, go to the gym, etc. during the day. Yesterday I left for 2 hours to get my hair done. I totally understand it varies by employer, but working in an office in and of itself doesn’t equal zero flexibility.
Some work places say they’re flexible and they’re not. I think that was the point the person you’re responding to was making. It’s really hard to know until you work somewhere.
I haven’t done this, and it’s a dealbreaker for me at this point. I think the one big thing I’d confirm is that if you are never allowed to work from home during business hours, then you shouldn’t be expected to work from home outside of business hours.
No late night calls, no “one last thing” emails at 7pm, no early morning meetings with another timezone, no weekend fire drills, etc.
If this company truly believes that employees need to be in the office 5 days a week to work effectively, then they should also believe that you can’t work from home at all. And if they aren’t going to respect that, then they need to pay you a ton of money.
I get that we’re in an employer’s market, but I think many workers still have enough power to say that no, I’m not commuting 30+ minutes to sit in an office and work on my computer and also being expected to do the same thing when I get home.
You want my brain when I’m sitting at my kitchen table? You can only have it if we agree that I can work from home with some flexibility. Otherwise, you get my brain in the office and that’s it.
Maybe you are brilliant and in-demand enough to get away with this, but I am an attorney and this attitude would get any of our associates fired. There are a lot of junior lawyers out there and we expect our non-hourly employees both to work when we need them regardless of where they are and to come into the office absent a valid reason (doctor’s appointment, etc.) since they have (as a group) demonstrated that they do more and better work when they are there.
But hey – maybe that works for you and best of luck with it. I just want to warn anyone out there who thinks they take this position and keep their jobs.
But you pay them a ton of money, correct?
And if they did bill the same amount of hours WFH as in the office, you’d probably care less about them coming in. Since you mention junior lawyers, I assume that the rigidity around coming into the office doesn’t apply to more seasoned lawyers who’ve proven that they can do enough quality work outside the office that they have more flexibility.
And the non-hourly employees support my point. You pay them for their efforts during business hours, and part of that “effort” is coming into the office. You don’t expect them to also work from home, in part because they aren’t getting paid a ton of money to be available outside of their office hours and duties.
Actually the requirement to come in applies to everyone. Unless you have an appearance or an emergency, we expect everyone to come into the office. One of the reasons to require junior attorneys to come was the opportunity for spontaneous interactions with more senior attorneys and the leaning opportunities that came along with that. Just making junior people come in would be counterproductive.
We are all professionals and we are not taking attendance. In a litigation practice it is hard to know where people are and if someone has a doctor’s appointment or something similar, we are not going to complaint about them working remotely that day. But everyone from senior partners (who were champing at the bit to get back in) to junior attorneys comes in unless they have a waiver (and we do give those out but very rarely – we have an ERISA specialist who is basically a team of one and she gets whatever she wants).
No, I don’t think you understand how little leverage you actually have.
LOL, good luck with this.
This is very healthy of you. It’s not a reality in Silicon Valley. I do see a generational difference in perspective.
This is every federal worker I know that still has a job. They are all adapting. Some with practically no notice.
I’m not a fed (or a lawyer).
This jacket is super, super cute. I wish I had the lifestyle and budget for it!
I’m on an external training this morning and it’s so bad. She’s pretty much just reading the slides, can’t get into further detail, and can’t even read the slides correctly (tripping over her words a lot but also mispronouncing many words and using improper grammar).
I can’t believe my organization spent money on this. I feel like I’m getting dumber listening in.
Be nice! Maybe the presenter is the person from earlier this week who had the presentation thrust at them when the original presenter and author of the presentation had an emergency.
Semi-joke but I thought that’d be funny
I found some “round tip steak” in the freezer and decided to defrost it – anything easy I can make? Crockpot? off to google…
I usually tenderize the living daylight out of it, then flour and pan fry it. Set it to the side and make a mushroom pan sauce. Add the steaks back, toss it all in the oven and make some mashed potatoes to go on the side.
Does anybody know of a company that I can hire to present and run a virtual teambuilding trivia game? Thank you!
Eagle’s Flight in Minneapolis
I’ve used Teambuilding dot com for a few of these! We did a s’mores event and also a sustainability craft one.
Similar to the earlier thread about day to day luxuries, I’ve been thinking lately about what choices or changes I can make that make my life a little bit easier.
For me, this has been things like: —
– allowing enough time between appointments so I am not scrambling not to be late.
– keeping cleaning supplies close to where I actually use them.
– having duplicates of some things (deodorant) so I’m not fully packing and unpacking my gym bag all the time.
– choosing direct flights even if they cost a bit more
– setting the timer on my dishwasher so it runs at night, even if I forget to go back and start it.
– pre-planning my wardrobe for the week.
I’m interested to hear about what kinds of things you do that make your life easier vs whatever you defaulted to in the past.
-liberal use of calendar reminders for things like “reservations for Easter brunch open up 30 days in advance” – I put it on an early morning appointment on my work calendar for day T-30, so I don’t have to keep a mental note hanging around
-having two shopping lists, one for immediate needs and one for ‘buy next time there’s a sale’ (usually when we start using the last or second-to-last of a package of something like TP or cleaning supplies)
-choosing the first after-lunch appointment whenever possible (I’m most productive in the mornings so hate to waste that energy at the dentist or whatever; the first after-lunch appointment is also typically on schedule)
-batch cooking as part of natural cooking (so no, not spending an entire Sunday making dinners for the month, instead making 3-4x the volume any time we’re making something freezer-friendly)
Buying travel size toiletries instead of having decanted stuff leak everywhere. Buying new luggage that weighs less. Paying to check a bag so I don’t have to kill my feet by constantly wearing the same shoes.
I have duplicates of all my toiletries and products for travel (Sephora and the drugstore have travel sizes) and it makes packing and unpacking so easy.
-Separate toiletries in my gym bag
-Packing my lunch and gym bag and setting out my workout clothes at night
-Always take non-stop flights (I live somewhere this is possible unless I’m really going far far away)
-Liberal use of calendar reminders as Cat suggested. For example, I had “get gas” on my calendar with an alert for this morning to do on my way to the office. I delete these reminders after I do them so prior weeks on the calendar only show things like appointments
-Always put my keys in my purse and my purse in the exact same place at home. I then put anything I need to take with me next time I leave the house near my purse.
As a small gift from a coworker, would you rather receive a 1 oz L’occitane hand cream or a 4oz Trader Joe’s hand cream?
L’occitane
l’occitane
I really like the little L’occitane ones for putting my purse.
L’Occitane. Smaller is more practical, and L’Occitane feels luxurious.
TJ’s, because it’s cruelty free.
The Trader Joe’s I got from my assistant every year was one of my favorite gifts. That stuff is great. A bit big for a purse, but great for a desk drawer or at home.
L’occitane because it has a nicer smell.
I might be ok with the Trader Joe’s if it had a luxe smell to the hand cream.
Another vote for l’occitane
Make sure you know their feelings about scent. I think that matters the most.
Elissa Slotkin killed it last night. I don’t think it’ll make any difference, but she killed it all the same.
I’m proud to say that I canvassed for her when she was a congressional candidate in my district back in 2018. We flipped our district from red to blue! Very stoked that she is our state’s senator now. She is the rare Democrat who appeals to Republicans as well (many people in Michigan voted for Trump and Slotkin last year). Unfortunately, our district is red again, though we are giving our congressman h3ll.
I am not in MI, but I’ve been supporting her from afar for a while now.
As a public servant, I’m biased towards politicians who have worked in government. IME, it’s hard to work with politicians with no unelected government background, they don’t really understand the mechanics of how government works.
I am in her district and am furious that she voted to confirm Noem. Assuming I actually have the chance to vote again in a meaningful way, she has lost my support for that action alone.
I think that absent being a lunatic (RFL jr), Presidents should get the people they want in. So I wouldn’t hold this against her. How’d she vote on RFK jr?
You think the lady who went to visit a small Vermont library to jump back and forth over the border with Quebec inside the library while shouting “51st state” isn’t a lunatic??? 2025 is wild.
She ran a state before, so I’m inclined to give a pass to a governor. RFK jr could not run a Waffle House or even a bland small state.
Running a state and doing it well are not the same thing.
I was so disappointed by the Dems though. I wish that after Rep. Green was kicked out someone else would have taken up the mantle and on and on
She gave a rebuttal that would be fine for any other politician. I’m so disappointed that the Democrats chose such a milquetoast, principled response. We’re seeing fascism roll out RIGHT IN FRONT OF US and they’re using yesterday’s tools. They should not have attended and should have counterprogrammed.
Even though I’d personally be heavily impacted by a government shutdown, I hope the democrats do manage to shut it all down and force the Republicans to at least own their budget, the bad, the ugly and any good that might be in there.
+1. Why did they even go?
I live in the Bible Belt but drug stores here sell beer and wine, as do grocery stores. I just spent a lot of time in NJ. What is it with no beer or wine anywhere, or in restaurants, let alone liquor? I’m not even a big drinker but I felt like I was in a fundamentalist hellscape.
In NJ you need a license to serve alcohol in a restaurant. It’s allocated by population. You can get alcohol in most nice restaurants. Cheaper strip mall type places are byob. You should not feel deprived.
NJ has a huge population though. That, despite what reality TV throws at you, is under-liquored.
I’m in the Bay Area California and you can buy a bottle of liquor anywhere, anytime. But only nicer restaurants have the money and volume to get a liquor licence.
I live just off a two block strip of shops and restaurants that is very popular, and only two of those places serve “hard” liquor at all.
Neighbors even protested one restaurant getting a liquor license, worried I guess the neighborhood was going to turn in to a “bar scene” but in the long run it turns out to be a beautiful restaurant with a lovely wine list and a full bar selling very expensive craft cocktails, not the kind of place the broke alcoholics I am guessing they imagined would be able to hang out for long.
But anyway, there’s a pizza place, an Indian place, a burrito joint, a sushi place, and none of them serve any form of alcohol.
Can’t speak to NJ but here in NY you can only buy wine or liquor in a liquor store. I suspect it’s because the liquor store owners lobby for this at this point. It’s annoying but I’m a wine lover and my go to wine shop is an amazing resource that likely wouldn’t exist if you could buy wine at the supermarket. So I guess it’s a draw. By contrast I think the state liquor stores in PA are a bummer for wine lovers.
I don’t know. We sell wine everywhere in Atlanta, almost 24/7, and there are great wine shops and liquor stores with curated wine selections, as well. We also have some big and small groceries with great selections, though
The piecemeal rules and regulations that govern liquor/beer sales is proof of what lobbying does. It’s so annoying. It has no bearing on what people want.
Just wait until you come to Canada and alcohol is only sold in government-run stores :) (Although that’s slowly changing, you can buy wine in some grocery stores now.)
It varies greatly by province with a number of provinces allowing beer/wine sales (and sometimes liquor sales) in grocery stores and/or corner stores. Restaurant liquor licenses are required but are not limited by population.
Most provinces allow beer and wine sales in corner stores.
It’s this way in some US states for liquor (not usually beer and wine).
Are you saying you can’t find beer or wine in Nj?
I’m in PA and it’s a huge pain in the ass.
Yes! And even in great sports towns like Pittsburgh. Why????? States are so bizarre and their rules are often very different from how their populace rolls.
My state recently moved to allow wine sales in grocery stores and the lobbying against from current liquor store was INTENSE. I would guess NJ’s restrictions are more that than religious
MD used to be like this (liquor stores only) and there are a few states in New England that are still like this as well. At this point, I think it’s about the alcohol lobby in those states since few people are worried about Demon Rum anymore.
We literally have liquor stores? And restaurants without licenses you bring your own.
If you mean in New Jersey, then yes, you do.
Obviously I mean in NJ that is the state we are discussing. It isn’t hard to get alcohol
Wow just wow. I never met or heard of anybody else associating numbers, letters , weekdays and months with gender. I myself have done it my whole life .
Thank you!!