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Linen can be a controversial choice for work clothing, but my opinion is that it’s great for summer Fridays when it’s too hot to care about wrinkles. This cream-colored utility dress from Theory is so chic, I wouldn’t mind if it looked a little rumpled at the end of the day.
I really like the concealed button-front (great for avoiding awkward peek-a-boo gaping) and the structural flap pockets. I would wear this with brown flats or sandals and be prepared to sneak out of the office a little early to enjoy the nice weather!
The dress is $395 at Theory and comes in sizes 00–16. It’s also available in “sprig,” a really pretty olive green color.
Two more affordable options are this Banana Republic dress on final sale for $97.97 (marked down from $149) and this linen-blend NYDJ dress, available in 0X–3X and on sale for $54.97 (from $139) at Nordstrom Rack.
Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
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Cat
I’m curious if it’s time for another reader poll — like this is a lovely dress, but my company is remaining nearly 100% WFH through the summer. I won’t be in the market for anything like this for a very long time!
Velma
Same. I was just sorting through summer office clothes over the weekend. I’ve been through them before, but made an even more brutal cut on this round and bagged up several blazers, dresses, etc., to donate. By the time I need these clothes again (summer 2022), what I have will date from summer 2019–so anything I’m saving needs to be 1) a solid favorite, 2) in excellent condition, and 3) still a good fit (sigh).
Meanwhile, I just bought a bunch of t-shirts, a couple pairs of wide-legged pants, and a t-shirt dress.
Sloan Sabbith
I need to do the same thing. I can’t see ever wearing a lot of what I still own.
I probably won’t go back until after Labor Day. So I’m looking at another summer of shorts and t-shirts, maybe some days skirts or skorts or a loose dress.
Diana Barry
Same, we have extended through Labor Day. In our management meeting last week there was a lot of handwringing about “bouncing ideas off of each other in the hallway” with a really strong generational component (dudes over 55) which in my practice is not a thing, so I’ll just be continuing to work from home.
Anonymous
I wonder what others are seeing. My urban office of about 70 has a policy currently where you can sign up to come in. Up to 30 technically can be in I believe. The only ones doing are our president, our head of accounting and a handful of our youngest single people (none of whom normally have offices and are taking public transit). It’s not whom I would have guessed.
Cat
My guess- the youngest people are more likely to be in a roommate or small apt situation and wanting a reason to get out.
Anon
+1.
Also statistically have the lowest risk to their health if they do get COVID, and don’t have kids to factor in for needing/wanting to stay at home.
AFT
My company is rolling out a “voluntary return over the summer, probably no longer voluntary at some point…” plan. IMO the folks who will come back before they have to are likely going to be more senior people who aren’t as comfortable working remotely, and people can work remotely less comfortably (roommates, small space, etc.)
Anon
+1 to remote work just not working for some of us (or not working well). Sharing a studio apartment was so wise, financially, in 2019. At least in an office, you can negotiate and block a conference room. Then there is “talking to you from the closet b/c it absorbs the sounds around me better than the bathroom.”
Amelia Bedelia
we have been voluntary return by signing up since last September. About 25% of our office routinely comes in. The interesting thing is that it really is spread across all of the demographics – young/old/single/married/children at home.
Anon
I just cannot WFH when my kids are also at home zoom schooling. Their teachers are remote and the live lesson is only for part of a class, so they come to me with questions (spouse has a job where he is on calls or interviewing people all day long). And with everyone at home: so many food issues; increased shopping needs; tech support; school proctoring; homework help. It took 12+ hours to do a normal day’s work. Even the small interruptions break your concentration like nothing I’ve seen in the office. My theory is that if I had had older kids, they may have been more self-sufficient or much younger kids (school wouldn’t have been as hard), it would have been less to do for me, but it was the sweet spot of being needy and school being really hard (dividing fractions!) also.
And then the internet was out for a week but while we muddled through, I was really about to lose it.
Anonymous
Having older kids doesn’t help. They just come to you with questions about balancing chemical equations and calculus. At least I remember how to divide fractions. And somehow you still have to be tech support for your spouse and personal chef to everyone unless you want to let your teenager have Annie’s mac and cheese for lunch at 3:00 p.m. every single day instead of eating a variety of foods at actual lunchtime.
anon
If you add pizza rolls to the equation, is that a balanced diet?
Anonymous
Yeah, this amused me. They arent eating healthy lunches at school. Not a hill I’d die on now.
Anon
IDK — our kids each too many starchy things, but at least the cereal has vitamins in it and perhaps some fiber.
Anonymous
I am not a dude and am well under 55, and I used to do a whole lot of bouncing ideas off of people in the hallway/kitchen/office doorways/impromptu meetings. Since these interactions are largely impossible under current safety restrictions, they are not a valid reason to ask people to return to the office.
Anon
I don’t agree that these interactions are largely impossible. It’s a learnable skill (like how to WFH well vs WFH at a B-/C+ level).
Anonymous
It’s not a question of what is learnable. These in-office, in-person interactions are currently prohibited under our org’s current policies. The kitchen is closed, only one person is allowed in the restroom at a time, office doors are closed, and all meetings are on Zoom. So there’s no point to going in to the office for in-person hallway conversations.
Anonymous
What? You can’t “learn” to chitchat with people in person when it’s literally prohibited.
Anon
We had a solo bathroom policy, but thank god it is gone now. Our bathrooms were unworkable that way and people were always forgetting to flip the sign back to vacant.
We basically just have to be masked inside. Nothing different than any other business / place.
Anon
I work near a park and several outdoor plazas with seating. I see people in work attire meeting outside all the time. IDK why you couldn’t talk inside if schools are open (and what do we think that hospitals and doctors offices have been doing all this time), but outside meetings are definitely a thing now (and I have a recurring one every Monday; formerly, it was BYO blanket so I am glad it is warmer now).
Anon
I read this as learn to have impromptu interactions while WFH, like some people are doing via IMs over slack?
Marie
Love the look of this dress in this picture, but I feel like it’s the type of outfit that will only lay right on a very specific body and also will bunch up into something weird when you sit down. Maybe those are just specific concerns to my 5’0″ self though!
Flats Only
I am 5″1′ and have the same concerns about the dresses I’m seeing that have A LOT OF FABRIC. The black dress on Friday looked like something Kathleen Turner would have looked amazing in in the ’80’s, but a long dress with a lot of fabric will look ridiculous on a petite figure, even if sized and tailored correctly.
Anonymous
It’s not just an issue for petites. I am a small-boned 5’6″ and have the same problem.
Anonymous
Yeah I am also WFH, currently the plan is to keep WFH until at least September. I went home one day in March 2020 and have never returned to the office.
Anon
I am also WFH through the summer, but I am so sick of all my home clothes. I actually want to replace them with as many casual linen dresses as I can (although, not $400 ones). So share any you’ve seen and liked!
Anon
Old Navy has a popover linen/cotton blend dress that might fit the bill.
Cornellian
Baltic etsy sellers. Seriously. You can ask them to add sleeves, subtract, make the hemline higher, etc. I’ve used this family, but I know there are others (search on etsy): lenoklinen
Clementine
My office has always been very resistant to WFH – I was only able to WFH in extraordinary circumstances beforehand (well, it would be more accurate to say they would make you work but still count it as time off… real fun, right?)
I expect they’ll have us all back in the office shortly. It’s going to be a nightmare and combined with the fact that it’s starting to become clear that for silly reasons I’m not eligible to be promoted… I am at the point where I’m either going to look for another job or just phone it in as long as I can and take half the summer off as vacation (banked up time from being that employee who always shows up!).
Walnut
Oh man, you should totally just pre-emptively block every Thursday/Friday off on your calendar all summer even if you don’t put in the actual PTO yet. Three day weeks sound amazing!
Clementine
Uhhh…. I think… I think I might be doing that…
Peach Pye
I think we work in the same office.
Anonymous
My office has officially been back for months. Attorneys can get away with working from home a few days a week but people are definitely expected to be there. I hate all my clothes at this point so I’m happy to see work wear inspiration even if I can’t afford it.
Anon
We were largely WFH in part b/c our schools refused to open until earlier this month. Now that they are open and everyone is eligible to get the shot, we are encouraged to come in as much as we can with the expectation everyone is back in in June.
There is a sense that the new people onboarded to fill departures haven’t really hit their stride and are at risk of getting bad reputations or lapped in terms of promotions by the new hires who will start after college graduations. Some juniors have been true rockstars, but many more have developed problematic behaviors and this is largely what is driving the sense of returning.
I heard from a friend that some people are refusing to get shots so that they can WFH for longer, so I am predicting that people will soon start abusing tolerance and grace to the point where WFH gets ruined for everyone.
Anon
We aren’t going back until 2022, and even then only a few days a week. I don’t foresee needing work clothes again really.
Anon
Why not? Are people not getting vaccinated? Elevator limits (in my city, 3 per elevator and 100+ people on some floors means you can’t meaningfully get people cycled through lunch or to come / go without huge wasted time)?
Anon
Schools are closed still, public transit is a mess, nothing is open yet. No point. People are productive at home.
Anon
Randomly: what are parents doing in those cities this summer? Will camps likely be open? I feel for all working parents who have had to wing it and rob peter to pay paul for so long. No best laid plans included this.
Anon
A decent amount of camps are open. (A few were even open last Summer). Not sure if the hours encompass as much as they did pre-pandemic though, as the “before” and “after” care are where it gets tricky to stay in the same cohorts from the core of the day if that’s what’s needed to meet health guidelines where you are, so that can present it’s own challenges for working parents.
Anon
We’re signed up for a camp and crossing fingers that it is actually able to open this year. Our state guidance on school/ childcare hasn’t changed since October, so camp directors think an update is coming soon and are hopeful the camp will run (and they’ll get enough camp leaders to meet staffing guidelines).
If it doesn’t open, I don’t know. We’ll seriously consider one of us taking a temp leave from work, I guess? Not sure if that’s even possible but we don’t have a lot of options. Last summer was a disaster that none of us wants to repeat. (Much of the issue was space/ noise in our small house – bringing in out-of-state grandparents or a nanny/sitter aren’t going to solve the biggest problems.)
Anon
Not that Anon, but for my company (which is saying Labor Day at the earliest) the concern is both elevator limits and public transportation. Most of our buildings are in downtown areas, which require public transit, and our employees are understandably cautious about packing onto a crowded train or subway.
Anon
Yes — I am relieved to be in a car-driving city. I used to take transit when I lived in DC, which is very different for our office there and some other cities where no one drives to work. That I see as a legit difference-maker until you get much more % of local adults vaccinated.
Sloan Sabbith
I am extraordinarily worried about public transportation. I am fully vaccinated but I’ve also gotten swine flu, whooping cough (twice) and the flu after being vaccinated so I’m very aware that the vaccine isn’t 100%. In Seattle, they are running into substantial issues getting our homeless population vaccinated, even more after the pause on J&J. I will go back when it feels safe for me to go back, and so far my office has the same philosophy. 25% of us can be in the office at once right now but it sounds like it’s never more than a few people. I plan to go in one day next week to help a new colleague with a complex case, but we are both fully vaccinated and hang out outside work.
Anon
Not the Anon above. Here’s a better question: what’s the rationale for going back? Many companies have found that their employees are more productive from home: the time that they would spend commuting is time that they can spend working, or at least time that they are available. People don’t need to run out the door at 4:30 to beat traffic to get to daycare before it closes. The flu isn’t spreading around the office. Mornings are no longer an insane rush.
Anon
Not the OP, but our rationale for going back:
Hard to train new hires
Hard to get work to junior people on teams
Several people went AWOL
Several junior people started telling people that they’d be at the beach and weren’t available (like you don’t tell people on your team two days before you leave that you are taking vacation mid-project and leaving other people holding the bag)
I think it is just: solo workers could solo work just fine. Anyone who had to deal with bad junior people is either too burned to use them again or wants to give them one last chance before sacking them. And we don’t want the same issue with the next crop of newbies who might be on our teams.
I’m agnostic, as I work a split schedule (in every day, but leave early each day), but I actually work it. The big, huge problem was that many don’t and collaborative work just didn’t happen as it needed to. I’m midway up the org chart, so in the area where a good junior is invaluable, but you could tell that even remote training or working via zoom just was not as good as it had been in person (so I am giving some people a good second chance once we are all back in recognizing that the pandemic was no one-s fault).
Jeffiner
My company is still waffling on how much WFH they want to keep going forward. On the one hand, we have been more productive from home, and our office/parking space was bursting at the seams. The majority of employees want to continue to WFH. Its more cost effective to hire more people and use the offices as jump seats for when people do come in than to rent more office space.
On the other hand, my company does have concerns about engaging new hires, and about effectively transferring knowledge from experienced/retiring employees before they leave. Also, although people want to stay WFH, a lot are reluctant to give up their desks for a jump seat.
anon
We’ve had absolutely none of the issues that @10:09 listed. Sounds like your work culture is bad and you’re trying to blame it on telework.
Anon
I don’t think that “work culture is bad” is why telework just is not cutting it. Like good remote teaching, I think that good telework can take a lot more effort for the same result. After a year, I’m 100% on board with being back in an office.
Anon
We have also struggled with getting people properly trained – either new hires or lateralling into new roles. I am supportive of flexible work arrangements, including WFH, but they do present challenges. It doesn’t mean that it’s a bad work environment at all. Some jobs require in person training or coaching. I’m 15 years into my legal career. I don’t need day to day coaching, but I really needed it when I was in year 1-5. I also think that people who WFH are at risk of being “forgotten” in some work environments. Management is naturally going to gravitate to the people who are physically present.
anonshmanon
+1 to everything in Jeffiner’s post.
Anon
Because working in an office isn’t always necessary? I’m in Canada so very few vaccinations here yet, but my workplace will be partially or 100% remote in the future.
Anon
I am with you on not necessary, but we are finding that it is also not great. IDK how you can quantify that, but my sense that for some people it is equivalent. For some, it may be like 50% (caring for small kids being a big issue, which has caused some people to take temporary PT status, which was fair, and had some just dialing it in, which was not fair to teammates).
Anon
In mod for some reason, but there’s no point. People are productive at home, why go in to socially distance and mask up while the vaccine is taking hold, schools are not consistently open, neither is the bus/trains, etc., or most businesses. Better to let it really be over. Even then going to be hybrid and only in a few days a week.
Anonymous
I suspect that some companies are going to force WFH to save on office space, etc.
Anon
We have told people that they can’t WFH and expect to have an office. I don’t think we’ll reduce our footprint, but I doubt we will ever expand it. We’d go to hotdesking and reserving private rooms for calls before that.
NY CPA
Our office has said aside from a few more critical people going in over the summer, they expect us to move away from WFH beginning in September.
Also this dress would be a MESS the second you sat down. It’s already got the folds/pleats vertically and those would get all rumpled and you would add horizontal creases. Hard pass.
anon
My company announced “flexible location” (within the same country), so it is up to me to decide if I feel more peoductive working from the office or home or a mix of those (of course, once it is safe). With zero doubt, I confirmed I am never coming back to the office. My role requires me to be glued to Teams calls 10hrs/day, so I don’t need to fight for call rooms/meeting rooms with hundreds of others. I will keep buying nice clothes because I like them and they make me feel good about myself, though.
anon
Same, except that I really like being able to go to the office a few days a week, and will do so whenever I’m working somewhere that has an office (after we go back at all, which won’t be until Sept at the earliest).
Anonymous
We don’t have an official return date, but I suspect it will be late summer/early Fall once school schedules get back to normal. I have no plans to go back until they start restocking the fridges with free diet dr. pepper again:-) (In seriousness, I fully intend to continue working from home 2-3 days a week once we go back; my group doesn’t care. A lot of us worked from home at least one day a week in the before times). That said, once it gets hot here, I will switch my work-from-home lounge pants to work-from-home dresses that are still more casual than office wear, but if you threw a blazer on top of them, most men would think were “fancy” and office appropriate (because somehow dress=fancy to men. It’s mostly fit-and-flare from Lands End and boden)
anon
My workplace (higher ed) has been extremely noncommital, other than to say that we won’t be working from home forever. I have heard summer 2021 and am getting super tired of not knowing one way or another. If we go back this summer, I will be living in dresses.
Formerly Lilly
Essential worker – been in the office and some court all along. I would be all over this dress but for that I am on a shopping fast. I prefer linen to a blend and don’t mind the wrinkles that go with 100% linen.
Senior Attorney
+1 to everything in this post.
Leatty
I’ll likely be fully remote until the end of the year. When I do go back to the office, I’ll work from home 2 days/week. I’m not thrilled about going back to the office – pre-COVID I worked from home more often than not, and word on the street is that employees won’t be allowed to WFH on Mondays or Fridays. I am not at all happy about it, especially since I have always been more productive at home and I have worked ridiculously long hours from home in the last year. As a dual income household with two small children, the loss of flexibility is really going to impact my quality of life. At least I have a long runway to look for another job?
Anonymous
This dress confuses me. It isn’t dressy enough for business formal and looks too fussy and uncomfortable to mess with for business casual.
I only wear business formal for meetings, which in the Before Times involved travel. It remains to be seen how many of those meetings will be in person and how many will remain on Zoom. I am currently writing some project contracts to include only virtual meetings and some with contingencies for travel or virtual meetings. I wear totally different clothes for in-person meetings (dresses, high heels) and video meetings (blazers, no shoes), so I’m waiting to purchase any business formal clothing until I see how things shake out this fall and next year.
AnonATL
This thing is way too expensive to look like a paper sack.
Anonymous
WFH forever, so happy about it. I originally didn’t think this would ever be possible, but my WFH-hating boss came around. I have a high-risk condition that may not be vaccine-responsive and am more productive at home anyway. Plus my quality of life is way better (more sleep, more exercise, eating better, etc.).
Anonymous
This vaccine-responsive thing is going to be a big deal, I believe. Turns out a lot of people have either immune conditions, or are on drugs that induce immune compromise, and show NO response to vaccines in the way others do. With some 40% of the country having a chronic illness, non-responders may be a big chunk of that 40%. This, plus anti-vaxxers, means we will be under the threshold for herd immunity for a while.
(not fear-mongering; this lack of vaccine response is just starting to be picked up by the media – NYT over the weekend. The vaccine wasn’t tested in these groups originally.
anon
Yeah, you are worrying too much. The NYT article was about a very small subset of the chronically ill that have specific severe immune system deficits. This is not like having diabetes or being on steroids. This will not be a significant variable.
But to those with these rare medical conditions, obviously it is a very significant issue.
Another
Currently in the office in a gray suit (pants!) and silk collared shirt. I will actually need to buy different work clothes if – as I suspect – we end up coming back a bit more casual. I don’t have much in the business casual category, as it turns out.
Anon
Same. And once my company does open their offices, the office in my region is just a small sales office and I don’t know if they’ll actually give me my own dedicated workspace, or if I’ll be hotdesking when I’m there. I just started today though, so hopefully I’ll get some clarity on this later in the year.
My current work clothes don’t fit. My tops are fine, but dresses and bottoms are too tight . . . and I’m sure some of them wouldn’t even close if I were to try them on right now. I’m hoping that once I’m fully immunized I can jump right back into my fitness routine to start shedding the lockdown-related weight gain, and then see what my work attire needs (and size) are closer to September. That said, I’m also bracing myself for difficulty getting into the group fitness classes I want, and in-demand classes costing an arm and a leg on classpass, so that might be an obstacle. Not asking for help, just thinking out loud.
Anon
Ugh so we have to look at another year of leggings?
Cat
You’re welcome to answer the poll accordingly? Things I would be interested in seeing that aren’t $500 dresses for a life I won’t have until next year – low-maintenance tops that aren’t athleisure; accessories like earrings or necklaces; update on which bral3tt3s have been reader faves…
anon
I would like to see some comfortable, breathable trousers; nice work tops in natural fibres (all machine-washable), zoom-friendly jewelry, nice home slippers with arch support.
Bralettes – I love Gap: I have one black lace and one dusty rose lace and then several elastic ones. They are so comfy, I never want to wear any other real big-girl bras again.
anonymous
My company has locations in India and across the country. Several smaller, satellite offices (including mine) permanently shut down last year so I’m now a permanent WFH employee. For other locations, my company is being very cautious and has not announced any plans to return to the office.
I work in software development so the WFH transition hasn’t been too difficult. The people I work with on a daily basis are either in India or scattered across the US. Even if I was in the office, I would be on calls all day. There is no one in my physical office building that I would talk to or collaborate with on a daily basis.
Anonymous
My office never closed. We are still permitted to work from home and, as a partner, I will always have the freedom to do that at my discretion, but most have been in the office most days throughout. I stayed away mostly because I was not able to avoid exposure in my personal life and did not want to bring Covid into the office and also because several others brought Covid into the office. But being absentee has already harmed me in multiple ways, so I am back most days and will be back full-time when I am fully vaccinated in three weeks. There is only one person in my office who will not be fully vaccinated at that point and that is only because she had Covid and monoclonal antibody treatment less than 90 days ago, so she is waiting until that waiting period is over and then getting the shots. So yes, I need office wear. I don’t need this particular dress because it seems impractical and yet informal and I would be more likely to buy it, if at all, for social occasions. I am also on a shopping diet, but I am definitely not looking to buy a pair of leggings or another jumpsuit to wear on my couch. I will be wearing real clothes this summer unless I see evidence of a Covid variant that is regularly breaking through the existing MRNA vaccines we’ve all now had.
Anonymous
For a more specific ask — the one thing I am in the market for is things I can wear at a jury trial in Miami federal court in the dead of this summer.
Anonymous
Suit with short-sleeved shell made of natural fibers underneath. Remove jacket as soon as you step outside.
In-House in Houston
I’ve been back at the office since last May – yes, last May. I work in Oil & Gas and we make money off of people driving and flying. Our CEO had us all back ASAP. While many complained, we had very little workplace transmission and the plan was very successful. That said – I appreciate the what to wear to work posts.
Anon
I’m WFH except for conferences and other external meetings for the foreseeable future so I’ve been wearing pants 100%. I will probably save my favorite dresses and skirts for those meetings and donate the rest because I just don’t see myself getting dressed in skirts with tights in the winter or dresses with all the leg maintenance in the summer for the possibility of a Teams call that shows me from the chest up.
anon2
While non-manufacturing team members have been strongly encouraged to WFH since last March, I worked in the office all last year because I prefer it. I got lazy this year and have been rolling out of bed and not nearly as productive as I am in the office. I am going to start heading back to the office a couple of days a week, which will be my preferred situation in the future (one or two days a week WFH, everything else in-office). There has been no set date for an official office return that I am aware of and suspect it will differ greatly between geographic regions (we are global). For my office, I anticipate it will be when the state reached 70% and otherwise is generally reopened. We are technically essential workers (and were able to vaccinate accordingly), but I clearly am not an in-office essential worker as I can easily do my work from anywhere there is wifi (even if I don’t like it).
Ribena
There are murmurings about summer for us. I’m not going in (for anything other than a ten minute trip to get rid of confidential paper waste and do some printing, all fully masked) until I’m 3+ weeks after my first jab, which may well be mid August at this rate.
Seventh Sister
I’ve been going in a few days a week the whole time, and kind of hope I can keep doing some of that through the summer. My kids are at an age where they CAN stay home for a couple hours, but all day every day isn’t a great idea.
I don’t love working at home tbh. Computer issues, tiny house, I hate making lunch for other people, and it’s hard to unplug. If school was REALLY open (M-F 9-3 in person, even without aftercare), it would be easy for me to go back in. But it won’t be easy until late August.
techgirl
No end date for WFH at this point – I think likely to be Autumn by the time the business has found the appropriate balance/flexibility that employees are looking for. I will be on maternity leave September to May anyway, so won’t be making any workwear purchases and will also be culling my workwear wardrobe as when I do return most of my clothes will be over 2 years unworn.
iPhone user
Anyone have experience with the Otterbox Defender? I’ve been an iPhone user for many years. The Xs is the first one I have had the screen crack when I dropped on hard ceramic tile floor….not just a crack but multiple cracks. Nothing wrong with phone so I am getting screen repaired at Best Buy. I’ve always used the Otterbox Commuter…what is your experience with your iPhone, cases and screen protectors? Look forward to advice.
KS IT Chick
My dad has always used Defenders. He farmed, and he was wearing his phone on his belt. The clip broke while he was laying irrigation pipe (12 inch aluminum pipe with closable holes for water output regulation). The phone ended up being swept into water and mud. It was still completely functional when he found it a day later.
A friend was crossing a busy street covered with snow and ice when her phone in a Defender case fell out of her pocket. We watched it get run over by two cars before traffic slowed enough for her to go into the street and get it. The case was damaged, but the phone was fine.
Anonymous
I’ve dropped my X countless times in a compostable Pela case (so not exactly heavy duty) and it’s always been fine. My husband has the defender on his work phone that’s maybe a 12? – no complaints. It’s sleek enough for what it is. He has an older Otterbox on his X that’s a clunky ugly mess IMO haha – the screen protector is particularly annoying when you’re used to just glass.
Anon
I have the Otterbox Defender after destroying a phone and every time I think of getting a cuter less-clunky one I remind myself that I can’t have nice things. The upside: I have a $$$ phone that have not had any issues with even though by rights I should have destroyed it probably on a seasonal basis.
Anon 2.0
Clunky Defender for life! I drop my phone far too often for the cute cases.
anonshmanon
It’s made my phone into this giant clunky brick, so there is that. If I want to fit the phone into the dashboard holder in the car or the running sleeve, i need to remove one layer of the protective box. But the thing is truly indestructible.
Anon
I’ve always just used a normal silicone case with a screen protector and never had any issues. I hate that Otterbox and similar cases make the phone so huge and can’t be swapped out easily. I like to change my case depending on the season/mood.
Anonymous
I use the Otterbox Symmetry and have dropped my phone on concrete and tile several times with no damage.
A colleague who uses the Otterbox Defender damaged his phone when he removed it from the bulky case to fit it into the pocket of his running shorts and dropped it with no case.
Anon
My phones are Android if that makes any difference, but I’m loyal to Spigen. I have never damaged any phone by dropping it with a Spigen case on, though I drop my phone constantly. I am short though.
Anon
I used a commuter and it wasn’t durable enough. I use a lifeproof and have no complaints.
Anonymous
I’m looking for basic tops to wear this summer that look more polished. My tee shorts tend to be 100% cotton and are inherently wrinkly as a result. Any suggestions?
MagicUnicorn
Cotton t-shirts aren’t an inherently wrinkly item for me, as long as I don’t let them sit in an unfolded wad. How are you laundering and storing yours that they are becoming so wrinkly?
Clementine
Alternately – I often use a steamer on even casual t-shirts to get any errant creases out.
(Thanks, retail job in College for teaching me how to do this super efficiently.)
Anon
I agree that cotton tees don’t look overly wrinkled if one either hangs them to dry, or folds them as soon a they finish in the dryer. I hang to dry because I like the edge of crispness that results, but my daughter prefers the dryer method because she likes extra softness.
Anonymous
They come immediately out of the dryer and then are folded and placed in a drawer. I don’t hang them because I don’t want to stretch them out. I’ve tried air drying them but they get stiff which compounds the issue.
They are not that wrinkly, to be clear – it is a small amount of wrinkling/rumpledness. I just want something that’s wrinkle free. As an example, if I wear one with a jacket over it + a purse, the sleeve on which my purse hangs will become a little rumpled.
Maybe it’s a brand problem (the ones I have are cheaper) vs. a material issue.
anon
I would look for a ribbed cotton instead of the cheaper materials. They lay better and are less prone to wrinkling and looking rumpled. There is a big difference between what my Old Navy tees look like and what my Eddie Bauer tees look like. (The only real issue with EB is that I’m so-so on the color options.)
Anonymous
Maybe an expectation problem?
Anon
+1
anne-on
I snapped up the “Puff-sleeve cotton poplin top” at Jcrew (they had it in a few colors/patterns earlier this year, seems to be down to white and purple print only right now). It runs big but washes nicely and all cotton!
Anon
I’ve gotten some decent stuff at Macy’s – the DKNY surplice tops are flattering, and the Bar III tops are good as well. Both brands are machine washable but they need to be hung up or laid flat to dry.
That said, I also have some basic white cotton tees from the Gap that don’t wrinkle. And when they do get a little rumpled on the drawer, they still look fine on me, but they’re make more sense when worn with professional bottoms and a cardigan or blazer.
Curious
Banana republic sandwashed modal! It breathes and does not wrinkle.
Anonymous
There are also a number of short-sleeved tops appropriate for work at BR that are not t-shirts.
Anonymous
Apparently they don’t have it for tees right now, though, more’s the pity.
Anon
any tips for washing sneakers in the washing machine? i think it’s time for me to wash my allbirds
Pep
Remove the laces (if your style has them). I always throw in a couple of dog towels with the shoes.
SSJD
Put them in on a permanent press or gently cycle with a small amount of soap. I would not wash anything else in the load with them. Recommend adding white vinegar in the bleach dispenser to get rid of odor. When they are done, stuff with newspaper to dry.
Of Counsel
Allbirds are made to be washed so do not overthink it. I just take out the laces and insoles and put them in a mesh bag and then toss them and the shoes into the cold water wash with the rest of my clothes. Never had a problem and I wash mine all the time because I do not like wearing socks.
No Face
Just curious, does anyone think that the United States will reach herd immunity for covid-19? I don’t think so, but I recognize that my perspective is skewed by living in a red state that didn’t have statewide restrictions at any point. That said, I do know several Republicans who have gotten vaccinated despite never changing their behavior during the rest of the pandemic so maybe there is hope.
Anonymous
This is not the energy I am bringing to my Monday morning.
Anon
Right??
Veronica Mars
I think we’ll always have COVID like we have the flu, and each year you’ll be able to get a booster shot for it. For the population that refuses to get vaccinated, well… I think some won’t catch it, some will get sick and recover and some may succumb to it. One thing we do also have to remember is that we now have a much better understanding of how to test for and treat it– new antiviral drugs, new ways of providing oxygen therapy, etc. So while it may not “go away” completely at least our understanding of it will have made it more manageable from a societal level.
Anonymous
In this scenario, many vaccinated people will still catch COVID and suffer greatly as well. My family is vaccinated against the flu annually, and at least every other year one or more of us catches it anyway. I do not want to live in a world where COVID is as easy to catch as the flu.
Anon
I had the flu once before I knew there were flu shots and once after then getting them annually and it was night and day (the first time: I dropped two sizes by the time I could keep food down; the second time: just really tired). IDK if COVID will be like that, but anything is better than the world we lived in last spring (and even then, the death rate was not high (<5% but probably much lower). The shots are a game-changer even if we get annual boosters along with our flu shots forever.
Z
I’m with you. I get the vaccine every year.
I had one winter when I was sick 3 times – 2 colds that were just terrible and lasted forever – the flu tests were negative. The 3rd time actually was the flu. Dr even said “You don’t look sick enough for it to be the flu but I’ll test you anyway” and sure enough it was. I was really surprised since the colds felt way worse.
Thanks, flu shot.
MagicUnicorn
It is important to realize that the flu virus mutations are vastly different from coronavirus when it comes to predicting which ones will be relevant and creating a timely vaccine against those particular strains.
Cat
Eh, yeah, but the tiny fraction (ever tinier as more and more people get shots) means it’s a risk I’m fine returning to “normal” while facing. I mean it’s not going to be eradicated…
potato
+1 For comparison, my risk of dying in the next year is about 0.1% (based on CDC data of a few years ago and my age, 42). If the existence of covid raises it to 0.101% I don’t want to lock down again.
Veronica Mars
Yes, it’s very possible. However, vaccine trial data has shown that it prevents serious illness, hospitalization and death from COVID, so those who choose to vaccinate should have less severe symptoms (we’ll only have to see how the trial data shakes out with more time and cases; I’m just waiting for the NY Times headline “First vaccinated COVID death” which should be a huge outlier). If we’re really lucky, it might be something more like measles(/mumps?_ where there are pockets of resurgence in populations that choose not to vaccinate.
Cat
that’s already happened right? an older person in MI? (There were three deaths but two of them were too close in time to the second dose for the person to have been truly “fully vaxxed” IIRC.)
I think that’s still awesome news. Of course when the scale of the vaccine goes from 20,000 to millions, there will be some worse cases or deaths that slip through. But that means it’s gone from a healthcare-toppling pandemic to a manageable risk. One that is still sad for the person affected, their family, etc but not one that needs to close society.
Coach Laura
There have been ~79 deaths of fully vaccinated people in the US. All were over 65 and most were over 80, all had comorbidities. Chance of death per Monica Gahndi MD MPH are like 0.00005% for normal, healthy person under 65. I don’t know what the chance of death for a year of automobile driving but I’m willing to use an auto. Life is not zero risk. Covid risk to me is similar – both for me personally and for society at large. See today’s NYT article “Irrational Covid Fears” in today’s Morning Briefing. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/briefing/european-soccer-league-mars-helicopter-navalny.html
Veronica Mars
Welllllll shoot. That’s so very sad. I agree, I think it’s going to get better, but it’ll just look differently than the before times.
Anon
Then I have some bad news for you . . .
Anon
This is how my pharmacist bestie describes it.
Anonymous
I don’t think so. I am in a purple state that was aggressive on precautions at the beginning of the pandemic and went much bluer than usual in the 2020 election, and even we had red counties that ran out of takers for the vaccine early on. I do know some anti-maskers who have been vaccinated, but they are now partying like it’s 1999 and pressuring others to join them so I think the public health impact of those vaccinations is greatly lessened.
My friend who serves on a school board in a red state does not think the schools will get away with requiring masks in the fall, even though kids won’t be vaccinated yet.
anon
It’s interesting to see commenters here imply the “bluer-the-better” (politically) when it comes to COVID responses. As a general rule, red states have fared significantly better than blue states when it comes to COVID outcomes… Obviously there are multiple factors in play and that rule doesn’t apply perfectly, but the suggestion that blue states’ hard lockdowns and other measures are “good” for COVID simply isn’t borne out by the data.
Anonymous
I think the assumption is that blue = higher vaccine uptake rate.
No Face
It’s an easy shorthand for me. But I’m glad to be in a purple area of my red state. People are fine with wearing masks in public and our schools have been open with sensible protocols for ages. I would not want to be in a strict red or blue area, for many reasons.
asdf
Herd immunity arises from vaccinations + natural immunity, so people getting covid contribute to it.
Anon
The natural immunity from COVID does not seem to e that long-lasting according to the data we have so far. And it is very questionable if it will provide immunity against the variants (same with the vaccine-induced immunity to some degree).
No Face
I guess this is the biggest question mark.
Anon
Yes. Cases started dropping shortly after the vaccine rollout; logically, the vaccines + preexisting immunity from people who got the disease was already starting to slow the spread. You don’t go from “spiking cases” to “herd immunity” immediately; the cases slow down a LOT in the interim. We are already at that point. It isn’t the weather; the first peak in the spring of 2020 was 16 April.
Anon
I think so. My state is already halfway to herd immunity and the vaccine just became available to the general population. I do think COVID-19 will be endemic, the way the flu and common cold are, but we’ll get to a point where life-threatening cases are uncommon, and hospitals will have the resources to deal with them.
Anon
Has anyone gone to Lowe’s or Home Depot to get a piece of glass cut for the top of furniture? I’d like to put glass pieces on top of my new bedroom furniture, but I’ve never done this before. Any reviews or tips from those who have done it? Also, how much did it cost?
Anon
I have not done this at big box retailers, but I used a local, generations-old glass and mirror business. They can custom cut to any template, rounded corners, bowed front, etc. You will want to think about how thick the glass will be and it gets heavy. see if you can find a local glass shop; I think you are likely to be better advised.
Clementine
Yes, we have used a local glass shop. They rounded the edges and added rubber anti-slip pieces. 10/10 would recommend.
(I only wish we had done this sooner as our guest room ‘got an amazing deal on fabulous vintage nightstands with a really cool finish’ have horrible water rings on them from one of our overnight guests.)
Anon
+3 to local glass shop
AnonMom
My dad did it all the time, but from a local glass company and absolutely not Lowes or HD. The thicker the glass, the more expensive (and the more it weighs). He would take the furniture in so they could make a template, or he would make the template himself if it was a large item like his giant dining room table. He is a woodworker, so he was perfectly capable of making the template himself but it can turn out poorly if you get your template wrong in the slightest.
I have several of those pieces of furniture in my house now and like the glass on top. It is difficult to clean underneath, though, so keep that in mind if it is an item that will have food or water on it regularly. The little rubber feet pads are necessary to keep the glass evenly supported so it doesn’t wobble or slide around.
AnonMom
One caveat: thin glass is lighter weight and less expensive, but you don’t want to go so thin that the glass is too fragile to lift at the edge and handle.
Anon
One caveat: thin glass is lighter weight and less expensive, but you don’t want to go so thin that the glass is too fragile to lift at the edge and handle.
Anonymous
I would strongly recommend a local glass shop over a big box store. They will have more varieties of glass, better equipment, and of course more skill/knowledge.
anne-on
I’ve only ever done this at a local glass shop – do you have any of those local to you? It was pretty simple, I gave them measurements, told them I wanted tempered, and how thick and then picked it up a few days later.
Anon
I can’t imagine doing this to my furniture, if you think water rings are bad on wood, they’re not better on glass (and you can remove hem from wood with the right cleaner, too) and it just looks so fussy and old fashioned, IMHO. Might as well add some plastic arm covers for your sofa while you’re at it.
Anan
Our local framing store will also cut glass and mirrors, so that might be an option. I’ve never done it, but probably you can call for a quote.
Anon
I would find a local place to do this. If you have a HD and a Lowe’s, you have a glass shop nearby.
Coach Laura
Local glass store. I wouldn’t go to a big box store. $25 10 years ago, probably $35-50 now.
Anon
One thing I should probably caution you about is that any liquid spilled on a glass topped wooden piece will find a way to seep between the glass and the wood and destroy the wood. Just be aware and wipe up spills with alacrity, or don’t have liquids on the furniture pieces you do too with glass.
AIMS
Dumb question maybe but does sunscreen go bad? Like, can I use last summer’s?
Curious.
anon
Yes, sunscreen does go bad. If the bottle is already open, I’d start anew. If it’s still sealed, it’s probably okay.
Clementine
Yes, there’s an expiration date on it. You can use last summer’s most likely but I usually don’t rely on it for super sunny days.
Anonymous
Chemical ones, yes. It should have an expiration date on it, but FDA requires they maintain original strength for at least 3 years. So if it’s last summer’s, you’re fine. If you can’t remember when you bought it, I’d just pitch it and start over. Mineral sunscreens should last a little longer.
BeenThatGuy
Adding to this, I write the year in black Sharpie on the bottle when I buy sunscreen.
Cat
Supposedly it does, but I have never been burned (ha, ha, pun intended) when using sunscreen as old as 2-3 years.
MagicUnicorn
I’ve never had one go “bad” but it does become less effective with age or sooner if you store it in your car year-round, where it roasts and freezes by turns.
Ribena
It becomes less effective with age. I try to buy it one strength up than I need it and treat it as if it’s one strength less than it says it is, if that makes sense (ie living in Scotland and with Mediterranean olive toned skin I still buy factor 30 and 50)
Anon
They do have expiration dates on them, and I tend to use those because while it won’t give you a rash or anything, it will be less effective after that date. Last summer’s should be fine, but I’d spend a few minutes going through your stock and see if anything has expired, or if some tubes are practically empty and might as well be tossed.
That said, if you’re really against waste, maybe delegate the expired sunscreens for times where you’re just going for a walk, or are otherwise not planning to spend too much time in direct sunlight but still want a little something on you just in case.
Anon
In Minneapolis, where the George Floyd murder trial closing arguments begin today and the jury begins deliberations. I so hope they get this one right.
Anon
What do you mean, “get this one right”?
Anonymous
Nope nope nope
Anonymous
Presumably decide in accordance with the evidence?
Anon
Anon at 9:55 seemed to indicate that she wanted a particular verdict, not that she hoped it would be decided in accordance with the evidence. Those are different things.
Anonymous
The evidence is pretty clear.
Anonymous
+1. I am hoping for a fair trial and a verdict reached on the evidence. My heart is broken for the pain Black Americans are experiencing and I hope that whatever happens with the verdict, we can begin to implement real changes to prevent theses tragedies from happening again. I don’t believe in “abolish the police,” but I strongly believe in reform the police.
Senior Attorney
I’ve been watching a lot of the trial and I don’t feel like they really are different things in this case.
anon
I want every verdict to be decided in accordance with the evidence – the bar for establishing guilt for a criminal defendant is, rightly, extraordinarily high. I just don’t want it to be even higher than it normally is in this case just because the defendant is white and a police officer who killed a black man. Black people are convicted every day upon much weaker evidence of guilt.
Anon
If you are hoping, does that mean you see how it could go either way? All I see on the news are people building barricades and boarding up buildings. I know a lot of people who are relieved to be WFH due to the pandemic vs in downtown now and it has got to be so scary for people, especially small businesses (lunch restaurants, etc.) who are probably already very much hurting. No matter what, I want everyone to be safe and for no one else to be hurt.
Anonymous
Let me provide a little background. First, the Supreme Court has held that there has to be a unanimous jury verdict to convict on serious charges. Given that the jury is a wide cross section of society you may not get the result you want. Second, the charges include a mental component, where the jury has to assess the defendant’s intent; that can lead to conviction on a lesser included charge. So let the jury do it’s job and respect the fact that there are lots of safeguards for defendants.
Anonymous
I just heard from a relative in Minneapolis that once the jury comes back, there will be a delay before the verdict is announced in order to shut down the entire city and highway entry ramps. Schools will move to distance learning.
Anon
I anticipate rioting if he is found not guilty but am I wrong to think things would be relatively peaceful if he is found guilty? Is it the fear of the celebrations too?
Anonymous
I think the expectation is that there will be rioting either way. Not celebrations, more like outside agitators and opportunists.
Anonymous
I live in Minneapolis. I have not heard this. Schools are already scheduled for distance learning Wed-Fri this week based on potential unrest. I agree with the poster below to expect unrest either way. Minneapolis looks like it is preparing for war right now.
Anonymous
It’s the Derek Chauvin murder trial. Derek Chauvin is on trial for murder. George Floyd is the victim.
A.
Can you help me with strategies for combating stress eating? I’m in a phase of life where I have full work days, three kids to care for, I’m working on a part-time master’s and my spouse is in a super-busy period with his job. It’s a lot to manage and I’m doing my best to get enough sleep (happens about 1/3 – 1/2 the time) and exercise (I’m working out almost daily, whether it’s a sweaty Peloton ride or a 20-minute dog walk). However, after dinner — even if I was full after eating my usually-pretty-balanced meal — I sit down and annihilate chips, cookies, whatever. I’m trying to be thoughtful about the fact that we’re still in a pandemic and that in and of itself is stressful (so: if I need the chips, eat the chips) but am wondering if anyone has alternative ideas that are more healthful.
Anonymous
Can you try a 5 minute meditation? I often tell myself I am welcome to a post dinner snack if I still want it post-meditation. Sometimes I do and I eat and enjoy. Often I don’t.
Anon
Don’t keep the chips and cookies in the house. If you can’t do that, set a hard stop on eating for the evening: 7:30, 8:30, whatever time works for you.
If you are looking for stress reducing activities to try instead of eating in the evenings, maybe take up knitting or crocheting or some other hand-intensive hobby.
Anon
Or, if you need to buy chips for the kids’ lunch packs or whatever, buy something that they like that you don’t like. For example, Cheese puffs or Sun chips or some other specifically “kiddie” pack.
Buy some sparkling water to drink and keep your hands and mouth busy? Or chewing gum?
Anonymous
This only sometimes works, but I ask myself, will I regret eating this or not eating it?
If you can keep temptation out of the house, that is easier, but I know that is harder to do when you live with a family.
Anonymous
I brush my teeth right after dinner. I am too lazy to brush them again after snacking, so that prevents me from snacking.
Anonymous
Brush your teeth and put on crest strips or whitening stuff after dinner/when the kids go to bed.
MagicUnicorn
Not buying chips and cookies in the first place and keeping my hands busy with something else. Also, brushing my teeth earlier in the evening because even if it is illogical, I dislike re-brushing my teeth and it is usually enough to deter me from mindless snacking.
Clementine
Same with regards to tooth brushing. Also, my husband made a rule for the kids that food has to be eaten in either the kitchen or the dining room, sitting at the table.
Well, because my kids are always watching I started doing this myself and… honestly it’s curbed a ton of mindless snacking. I also enjoy my food more when I’m not scarfing it down in a dark living room.
Cornellian
That’s a great rule.
anne-on
I often try to remind myself that I wouldn’t let my kiddo do x/y/z because it’s not great for them, so why am I doing it myself? It helps a lot with framing something as a better choice for my body/mind vs. a punishment. I CAN eat the cookies (and do!) but it’s better to make sure I’m only eating them when I really, really want them, not just because I’m feeling bored/etc.
Cat
Keep your hands busy with something else.
Brush your teeth.
Get an appropriate portion out for yourself and then put the package away. (Knowing exactly how much you’ve eaten rather than just sticking your hand in the bag.)
Anonymous
Only things that sort of work for me are increasing my protein earlier in the day so I feel pretty full and staying out of the kitchen/rooms near the kitchen after supper.
nuqotw
I don’t have any ideas…just want to say you are a rock star.
good luck
Totally!
I feel lazy compared with the OP and wanted to tell her I have her snacking habits even without exercising and 3 kids and a husband and school!!!!
Cornellian
+1
A.
Thank you, internet strangers. This actually made me tear up a little.
Anon
Yes OMG I think sometimes I get a lot done (work, kid) but you have 3x kids and 2x jobs (including school). More power to you!
Anon
I identify my snacking “risk period” and do something else to occupy myself. For me it’s pre-dinner so I try and use that time to exercise so I’m physically not in the house to eat. If you snack in front of the TV could you try a hobby that keeps your hands busy (knitting, colouring etc) or just do something else like have a bath? I’d also look at your mealtime and consider pushing it back later. Or just factor the snacking into your meal plan – so eat a lighter dinner and plan for a healthy desert/snack.
Tessa Karlov
I’ve found that when I’m trying to drink more water and focusing on getting through the giant bottle I carry around, it’s enough of a distraction from whatever else I’m doing that I don’t feel the need to snack. You could also only buy snacks that are healthy (I like cut up bell peppers) or annoying to eat a lot of, like shelled pistachios.
Anon
I have this (lifelong) problem too! I keep lots of fruit on hand to replace sweets. I tell myself I can have unlimited fruit (and veggies). Air popped popcorn is a good alternative to chips/salty snacks. You can control how much, if any, oil and salt goes in. I use this microwavable silicon bowl thing to make it (link to follow):
https://www.amazon.com/Original-HOTPOP-Microwave-Collapsible-Dishwasher/dp/B01M1CJNXH/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=air+popped+popcorn+maker&qid=1618845828&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEySDEyV0NERlZKVUxEJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNTU4OTQzMlBQRjM5SVJOUlJSNCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNTE3MDUwMkJKUjA1SzZZVVhDRiZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=
Anon
Are you a podcast listener? Try “Weight Loss for Busy Physicians” by Katrina Ubell. Try listening to episodes 2-4. There is a separate “podcast roadmap” with what she finds to be the best intro to her methods. She recommends a “thought download” model that helps relieve stress by writing things out. I am NOT a person to think about feelings and I am not a journaler and never have been, but I’ve found her stuff useful and it’s helped me process things when all I want to do is sit down and finish off a pack of Oreos.
Anon
I quit eating breakfast to make room for more dinner calories. I always felt gross and sluggish eating in the morning anyway, I’m a night owl through and through. A more satisfying evening meal makes me less likely to get the rumblies before bed.
If the problem is that your hands need to be busy, I always do my hand weights during our nightly TV viewing. Making the conscious choice to avoid exercise in favor of gobbling trash is enough of a dichotomy that I don’t do it.
Anonymous
Stock more filling snacks? I buy those almond crackers or a nut mix; a small amount is really filling. I also stock teeny chocolate squares in individual wrappers to divert my sweet tooth
312
Maybe sub out the chips with popcorn? Either a low cal microwave one or pop your own with a little salt. Get the crunch, but less calories? Hang in there – you do have a lot going on!
Anonymous
All of these people who commented above about WFH and people being “more productive” — what are your employers doing about the people who aren’t? Are they letting things slide? Talking to them? Requiring them alone to come back? Firing them? While most of my company is doing well, we have some people who really aren’t (mostly juniors) and are struggling with how to fix it.
Anon
IDK, but that is driving our return to work situation.
No Face
Is it for everyone or targeted to the low performers? I’m in and out of the office already, but I would be pissed if the only reason I couldn’t work from home was because other people were not performing well.
Anon
OP on that: for everyone
To be fair: we are a driving city with no elevator issues; 50% of local adults have had at least one shot (and all are eligible now), so the safety factor isn’t really the issue it was, say, in March.
Anonymous
Still, that sounds like bad management. A lot of people love to WFH and are truly more productive there. Why would you punish your good performers instead of managing the bad ones?
anon
Even assuming 100% vaccination id still be peeved about having to commute again just because some people are less productive. Honestly I’d start job hunting if my office did this. There are so many companies embracing more flexibility/WFH I don’t think it’d be hard to find another job that would allow me to continue to mostly wfh
Anon
I think that bad WFH is really hard to quantify for any new-to-the-workforce hires and any new-to-the-company hires who were hired solo (vs bringing in a whole business unit, like when my husband’s company buys a local operating business b/c the owner wants to cash out and retire and has no kid to take it over). Some is that the pandemic didn’t give them a fare chance to succeed and others just were bad hires. Sorting them out is likely when in-office either is or is not a game changer.
I suspect while we are 100% back-in-the-office, the 2019 WFH or flex-time people will keep on with their old arrangement but it will mainly be for new hires who are <3-5 years into their work careers. Some people have always been 100% remote and that likely won't change. I became a flexer when I had a baby and suspect that that won't change, but the status quo was always good (vs people post-training with no track record).
Anon
Yes, they’re getting managed out once it’s clearly a performance issue and not extenuating circumstances. Not a law firm though so unclear on what you mean by juniors. For those newer to the workforce, it’s worth investing some time in coaching them.
Cat
Doing nothing about it that I can tell, which is not particularly helpful to the rest of us.
Anon
I think that those with performance issues are just getting written off and not getting more work and will be counseled out as under-performers that no one goes to bat for. Takes a year, but people don’t like to be seen as doing anything more than performance-based separations.
Cat
From a firm perspective where there’s concrete evidence of output (like low billed hours) that works… harder with no metrics like that.
Anonymous
My company has 3-4 senior people, all men, who are not productive (out of 23 total). They were not productive in the office. They are not productive at home. My boss ignores the problem and the growing resentment among all other staff members because she has a longstanding loyalty to these 3-4 people who have been there with her since the early days of the company. She used to punish us all by severely restricting the amount of time we could WFH, but has changed her tune a bit. She seems to finally recognize that it wasn’t fair to have us all in the office “to keep an eye on [those 3 men]” when the vast majority of us are productive no matter where we work.
I am a firm believer that low productivity is a performance problem, not a location problem. Bosses need to manage productivity by setting expectations and ensuring accountability, NOT by micromanaging your: schedule, office location, timing of breaks, your calendar, your vacation time, your sick time, or anything else.
Anon
Curious: what happened with new hires straight out of school (for whom on-the-job training used to be how they sank or swam)?
I found that WFH lost a lot in responsiveness and that is just not something I’d have expected (if you work retail, you can’t drop and go to yoga in the park, but in an office WFH that seemed to be a problem on any nice day but things were much better in nasty weather).
Anonymous
We have had two new hires during COVID, once right at the start (May 2020) and one later on (September 2020). One is a new grad and one is more experienced. Both have been doing great work, actually, and I think it helps that we set up a buddy system to help them get the lay of the land and have been doing Zoom social events once a month. I think one of them prefers WFH and the other might want to go back to the office once we’re allowed to, but either way, I have no complaints whatsoever about their work! The only tiny complaint I have (that the new grad could improve her grammar in her professional writing) is unrelated to WFH/office.
anonshmanon
This. Beyond keeping people on short term contracts for as long as possible with the carrot of a permanent job driving performance, I don’t know that people are really being managed at my workplace. That has not changed over the last year. Subject matter experts are elevated to managers with no required management training, although resources are provided for those who want to develop this skill.
But on the whole, we’ve had a very productive last year.
Anon
They are being let go, though the company seems to be allowing them to frame it as restructuring/downsizing due to the pandemic. Most were notorious problems for much longer than Covid, so it has been a useful catalyst to dump the dead weight.
Anon
I think we had managed-out all of the problems due to a merger (so redundancy + problems done at the same time), so all of our problems are new / junior hires. Not that we didn’t have them previously, we just had no WFH but people who came in late and took multi-hour lunches, so more noticeable. With WFH, you could be on a call or against a deadline for someone else, so problems were murkier to tease out.
Anonymous
Again, you need to not look at things like long lunches or arrival times. You need to look at output and timeliness on meeting deadlines. That’s all that matters.
Clementine
Ugh, funny you should mention this because I’m spending my morning trying to figure out what the heck one of my (inherited, very problematic as a baseline, every supervisor before me has tried to fire this person but government and it’s really REALLY hard) staffers has been doing for the last 3 weeks.
(because the thing I was told she was doing, and was checking with staffer on DAILY is apparently not going to be done until maybe Wednesday? When it was due a while ago? And the other staffers assigned the same project who both have more job responsibilities/current tasks both got it done on time.)
Sloan Sabbith
I seriously wonder if we are working with the same person because we are currently dealing with a government employee who sounds oddly similar to this…
Gov-o
If you haven’t gone through the discipline process before, I’d say this is the time to submit the missed deadlines to HR for potential disciplinary action. If you have a paper trail with instructions for a deadline, checked in, etc., it may result in an LoR. That doesn’t seem like much, but it’s the starting point for progressive discipline for someone to either get better or get managed out. It took me three years, but I finally removed an employee who could not, WOULD not (hello, conduct!) follow instructions and policy. From one government manager to another, hang in there.
anon2
I commented that I am not as productive at home in the first post. However, my “not as productive” is still pretty damn productive – I have way more distractions at home though. When I am at the office, I am more productive in a compressed period of time because I want to go home. When I am at home, it doesn’t matter when during the day I do the work so I don’t really have a sense of urgency for the longer-term projects. I’m not late, just really not fussed with having to get things done before 4:00 p.m. so I can go home or to the gym or wherever.
As to your question of what my employer is doing, creating a new position for me because they didn’t want to lose me when I expressed that I was unhappy with my role so YMMV. lol
peaches
I am surprised very few people use an epilator. I use an epilator for arms and legs and sometimes even under arms. Especially during covid, when its difficult to be in-salon. Post a waxing session, epilator has helped me maintain very well and I need to use only once in two weeks. Easier to switch to epilator just after waxing when the real small hair start to show up. Of course bikini area has to be waxed but it can wait longer. Why doesn’t anyone use an epilator?
hair removal for the hairy
Ok, so it’s that time of year. After hiding my body in comfy clothes all winter, I have to decide what is worth the time/effort/pain to expose, particularly as being blessed as a very hairy person. Very pale skin, very dark hair, sensitive skin. I am a bit out of touch these days (and embarrassed….) and I would appreciate what folks do these days for hair removal, and how much time/money you spend per month. I’m particularly curious if you are also a hairy pale person with sensitive skin.
Can I just say, I hate summer, and love being single mostly for this reason?
So what hair on your body do you remove?
How do you remove it? How often?
How do you protect your skin from rashes/bruising/damage?
How much time do you think it takes you per month?
How much $ do you spend per month?
I am getting more and more interested in permanent hair removal, but the expense seems so high and that you have to spend many hours/visits/years to get it to work… maybe I will just continue to hide my body.
And I’d rather stay away from the preaching about don’t shave blah blah… because I promise you that you do not see professional women in my age group wearing skirts at work or on vacation without shaving. It does make me sad that the trend as I have gotten older has been to remove even MORE hair than when I was younger.
Anon
Laser. Bit by bit over a decade. Started with the most visible areas (face, forearms) first. It was a game-changer for me and I’d do it again. I have daughters and one has my genes for this (maybe both). I feel for them, as they are growing up in an area where their situation is not the norm. Hope people are kind, but I also know better.
Anon
+1 laser, but admittedly I am not quite in the same boat (I only really had to do my bikini area, shaving my legs works fine for me). Best decision I ever made. When I got it I didn’t have a ton of money and am generally super frugal about this type of thing, but to me the cost paid itself off in spades over the years of not having to wax/waste time thinking about this.
Anon
Agreed — so nice to be able to go to the pool with friends without needing a week’s notice to book a grooming appointment or to have the DIY attempt not go horribly wrong.
No Problem
Yup, laser. I’ve done my underarms, bikini area, and legs. I would need to do more sessions to reach a point where I don’t have to shave at all, but the 6-9 sessions I did have reduced my leg and bikini shaving to once a month, and my underarms to 2-3 times per week instead of every day. I’m contemplating buying one of the at-home tools but haven’t pulled the trigger yet.
Laser is a lot of money but it was worth it to me for the overall reduction in hassle, TIME, and skin irritation from saving. Shaving my underarms every day was so rough on my skin, but it is so much better now. Find a medispa that has discounts on packages rather than paying full freight for each session.
The remaining hair near my vag gets trimmed with scissors about once a month. I just hate the feeling of longer hair down there (it traps a lot of moisture and leads to skin irritation), but also hate the feeling of being hairless, so that’s my personal compromise. I tweeze my brows (have only had them waxed a handful of times in my life because I’m cheap) and tweeze any chin hairs as they appear. I’m lucky that my mustache is pale enough that I don’t bother removing it.
anne-on
I’m going to explore electrolysis this year once I’m fully vaccinated. Waxing/shaving my bikini area is irritating and both lead to lots of ingrown hairs despite all measures I take to the contrary. I’ve done laser on smaller areas with not great success rates (stopped at my 3rd treatment due to covid, and the difference I saw was negligible).
For my legs and underarms I just shave, but I have to spend a LOT of time exfoliating/moisturizing to avoid irritation and bumps as well as changing blades frequently. Eh, I see it as the seasonal swap – in winter it takes me longer to get dressed because I wear more clothing/layer thicker moisturizers/have to dry my hair so I don’t freeze. In the summer I have to spend more time shaving. It doesn’t really bother me enough to spend the time and money to do laser on my legs.
Anon
I’mm also interested in electrolysis. The stats I see on laser do not impress me, and frankly I think the switch from widely-available electrolysis to widely-available laser (rather than both) suggests that spas have latched onto the “subscription service” ideal that software companies now use. Electrolysis works once and done, so there’s not enough money in it. Laser keeps people coming back to shell out.
Anon
Electrolysis is one and done, but then your body decides to have its hormones go crazy, so the new hairs keep coming. I love electrolysis for face, but it is a lifestyle in my 40s in a way that I didn’t anticipate. Laser worked well for reduction (not elimination, sadly) in larger areas (arms, legs), but it’s not for all people / areas.
Anon
It’s not actually one and done because while it destroys the hair follicle, not all of them are active at any one time. So you have to entirely clear the area several times to get through the various growth cycles. And as the previous person said, hormones play a role and can stimulate even more hair growth, But it is more permanent than laser and the growth is way less as you go through the process. It’s not comfortable though!
Anonymous
Pale person with sensitive skin here. Pre-COVID, I used to get a bikini wax once a month ($60 including tip) and shave everything else. I found at-home solutions more irritating than professional waxing for the bikini area. The problem with waxing is that you have to let it grow out visibly before you can wax again, which is why I prefer shaving wherever possible and why I would eventually like to have laser hair removal.
For shaving, I have had the best results and least irritation with Joy razors and Gillette Satin Care Ultra Sensitive shave gel.
Trixie
Well, I can tell you what I do. I shave when in the shower, legs and armpits, because it is quick and easy. If I don’t shave frequently, it gets harder and more time consuming, so I do it 2 times a week. (I have pale skin and dark hair, and now that I am an oldster, I have less hair.) I have had electrolysis on my mustache and chin, which was so worth the effort. This seems less popular now than laser hair removal, but I tried that once on my underarms and could not tolerate it at all. I now shave my moustache and chin area as the hair is blonde/gray now, and covid. I get my eyebrows done with threading, and tweeze in between–I have been doing my own brows for 15 months now due to covid. I use scissors to trim my p*bic hair, and cut it quite short in the vag1n@l area, carefully–no Brazilian waxes for me. I shave close to the bikini area in the summer for bathing suits, but I wear skirted suits or board shorts so I don’t really care. So, there you go, hope this helpful.
Anonymous
You hate summer because of body hair? I’m sorry. We have similar coloring but I love summer and swimming, even though I’m sometimes self-conscious.
I’m interested in what the best way to remove bikini line hair is. I usually never bothered since I used to wear board shorts for swimming, but I have a new regular bathing suit and I want to get rid of just the hair that pokes out the sides. Would a Tinkle razor work here? Regular razors give me so much irritation.
Anon
I’ve got super dark hair and super pale skin. Unfortunately, I was one of the few for whom laser didn’t work. I tried it almost 15 years ago and I’ve heard it’s different now, but I’m hesitant to spend that kind of money again just on a hope it’ll be better.
I shave my legs, toes, and armpits every other day in the summer. (Mayyyybe once a week in the winter?) I probably need it a little more often than every other day but my skin can’t handle that. So I just don’t wear sleeveless shirts on those days, and deal with the stubble if I’m wearing shorts.
I get eyebrows threaded every two weeks.
I use a “bikini trimmer” about once a week in the shower – I’m not going for bald, I’m going for less-than-forest.
I leave the hair on my arms and chin alone. I will occasionally pluck a chin hair if it’s super dark, but so far that’s maybe once a month. If it gets more extensive, I’ll add it to my threading sessions.
Ribena
Razor. Underarms is the only place I maintain regardless of whether anyone else will see it. Legs and bikini area only when relevant – so when I’m swimming (so in pre Covid times I was maintaining both all the time, because I swam at least weekly) or in summer for legs.
Ribena
Oh yeah and like the above posters I use scissors just to de-forest the bikini area, the actual razor is only for the bikini line itself for me.
In House Lobbyist
I did laser hair removal from a spa in 2019 and it did help – I did whole bikini area and underarms but the hair was still there but much thinner. I got 4 sessions for Christmas at a true med-spa and have had 1 treatment and it has been amazing. I go this week for my second treatment and I have shaved my legs only 3 times in the last 6 weeks and my underarms only once a week (maybe). I am doing the full Brazilian and it has been very noticeable the past 6 weeks. This package appointment takes an hour and half since the legs do take some time. My nurse told me that it isn’t really laser hair removal for everyone but it is definitely laser hair reduction. I am pale and have dark hair on all 3 of those areas so it is working great. I have lots of fine, blonde hair on my arms and do wax them 3-4 times a year and I love bikini waxes but you can’t do those while doing laser hair treatments. I am using Sona Dermatology and MedSpa and they have locations in multiple states.
Cara
I’ve been shaving since swim team as a kid, and maybe because of this I’ve had any issues/qualms about it. I always recommend hot water, shaving cream or at least conditioner, and to throw away any blades that start to get dull. Also, deodorant after on the bikini line.
Arms, armpits, legs, bikini area
Shaving, as described above, at least once a week for arms/legs, maybe 1 a month for the bikini area
Do it in the shower after the hot water has been running for a while and the skin is very wet, use conditioner or something, make sure you lotion afterwards
I guess an extra hour a month in the shower? max?
I use conditioner that didn’t work for my hair as shaving cream, $10 every 2 months or so for a new set of disposable razors
Anonymous
I shave my arm pits daily year round, my legs every other day when I’m showing them, and just whatever shows at the edge of swimsuit bottoms every other day in summer since I swim constantly.
anonymous
I shave my underarms every time I shower. I cold weather, I rarely shave my legs. In the summer, probably every other day. I use a razor and I’m terrible about replacing it. It will stay on the shower caddy until it’s dull as a knife blade before I replace it. I found this Venus shave cream in a tube that I like a lot more than shave gel out of a can. I use a trimmer around my bikini line, but that’s only for when I travel. Who knows when I’ll be at the beach again.
hair removal for the hairy
OP here. This is all extremely helpful. Many thanks.
For those of you that went the laser vs. electrolysis route, can you estimate how much time and $ it cost you and for what areas of the body?
And with COVID… I may have to stick with at home options though for the near future. Shaving……
I have to do hair removal on face/underarms/belly+breasts /entire legs/bikini line/toes/+/- hands and arms.
Anonymous
For belly and hands, I use an epilator. Might also work on the arms. For face, the Tinkle razor. For toes, shaving.
hair removal for the hairy
Tell me more about the epilator. Does it last longer? Hurt more? Give you red marks/rash?
Anonymous
For the fine hair on tummy and hands, for me the epilator works well, lasts a long time, doesn’t hurt at all, and doesn’t cause any type of redness or rash. It was terrible when I tried it on coarser hair (e.g., legs).
Anon
Laser hair removal all the way. It’s not as expensive as you think, check groupon for deals. It does take multiple monthly appointments but they are literally 10 minutes long.
hair removal for the hairy
10 minutes…. but for what part of the body? If I was doing all of my areas, it must take much longer, or maybe I only do one (?small) part at a time and it takes years to get the whole body done?
And going to an appointment (travel back/forth) makes any appointment challenging. Nothing takes 10 minutes. It’s like 1.5hrs minimum or more.
And do you trust any place /Groupon for hair removal? Honestly, I do not know
PolyD
I got my lower legs lasered many years ago, using a Groupon deal, and it was one of the best things I ever did.
It took multiple appointments, each about 6-8 weeks apart. Maybe it took half an hour start to finish, it wasn’t long. And it’s lasted for me – 10-11 years later, I get the occasional stray hair, but it’s very thin and fine, nothing like the dark coarse hairs I used to have on my (very pale) skin.
So I wouldn’t be put off by “multiple appointments” because it’s not like you have to go in every week or even every month (although maybe the timing is different for different parts of the body).
Panda Bear
Dark hair and pale skin, and while I don’t normally think of my skin as sensitive in general, I used to get *terrible* bumps from shaving my bikini area, no matter what. I finally sprang for laser removal on bikini area and underarms. Yes, it was expensive (maybe $3k altogether?) time consuming (took about 1.5 years, going every six weeks or so) and painful for those short sessions (but really, only about 15-20 minutes, it was bearable). But it was so worth it! I love never having to think about it anymore. For my legs, I still shave, and I occasionally think about doing laser for them too, but meh, shaving is quick/simple/non-irritating enough on my legs that I’ll probably just keep doing that.
Anon
This year I finally bit the bullet and started laser hair removal. And I strongly feel it will be worth every penny, even if it means I spend this summer in long skirts and linen pants to prevent pigmentation on my legs. In a past life, I had been waxing legs, bikini area, and underarms every 5 weeks like clockwork to the tune of around $150 every time including tip. Anything other than waxing, even with every product under the sun, exfoliation, moisturizing, etc., resulted in horrible ingrowns and bumps. I finally lost it when I found, yet again, a giant ingrown that is sure to scar. I cried and called the doctor the next day. I am now getting those same areas lasered, and even if it is not 100% effective, if I can achieve 80% I will be SO MUCH HAPPIER. And if you consider the cost a payment plan, it pays for itself over a couple of years.
Oh, and if you can handle waxing, you can handle the pain of laser hair removal. It’s not nearly as big of a deal as I thought.
CPA Lady
Pale, coarse, dark haired, fur ball with dry sensitive skin, reporting for duty.
So what hair on your body do you remove? – armpit, legs, edges of bikini area. Every now and then I’ll bleach my arm hair if it’s bothering me at the beginning of the summer, but usually it lightens by itself as I spend time outside.
How do you remove it? How often? – I shave my armpits and legs every other day. I get my bikini area edges waxed every 4-5 weeks, and have been doing so for years, so the hair is not as plentiful as it used to be.
How do you protect your skin from rashes/bruising/damage? – I use a 5 blade hydro silk razor and the purple sensitive skin skintimate shave gel. I exfoliate with a sugar scrub once a week or so. I moisturize my entire body with a heavy bland lotion (alba botanica very emollient) as soon as I get out of my every-other-day shower.
How much time do you think it takes you per month? – five minutes (maybe less than that? I haven’t timed myself but now I’m curious!) to shave every other day = 75 minutes total per month, plus maybe 1 total hour driving to and from the waxing place and getting the wax done, so 2 hours 15 minutes per month, max.
How much $ do you spend per month? $40 ish?
Mal
I’m similar to you in complexion and hair color –
I shave my legs – LOVE Bille razors. They are the least irritating I have used, and because they get delivered in the mail never run out.
Underarms I’ve yet to figure out. Did waxing for a while but it was not ideal considering how quickly it grew back. Got one round of laser and it only lessened the thickness of the hair – but still very visible. I easily get ingrowns and irritation so I may break down and get more laser.
Bikini – finally just decided to trim short. Least irritating, as my propensity to get ingrowns is CRAZY. Tame any errant hairs that fall outside of a swimsuit as needed.
If any of y’all have tips please share!
Anonymous
Has anybody tried laser with blonde (but coarse) body hair on pale skin? I’ve just given up the idea, but would love to be able to try, if there’s any point.
Anon
I tried it (several years ago). DId ~ 6 sessions in a couple of areas. Did absolutely nothing. I think some lasers may be better with light hair/pale skin.
Anon
I shave and apply self tanner to my legs. I still like the Jergen’s gradual lotion.
I gave up waxing because I will never not get ingrown hairs and inflamed red cysts are a lot less cute than just having hair down there.
Sunshine71
I’m starting at-home IPL with the SmoothSkin Pure IPL device. It has great reviews on CurrentBody’s website but it’s a little too early for me to report results; I’ve used it 2 times. Instructions are to use it weekly for 12 weeks and then for touch-ups afterward. I got tired of shaving (legs, underarms, bikini line) and figured it was time to try something else. The device is super easy to use and the discomfort is extremely tolerable. It’s supposed to work best on light skin with dark hair so it may be a very good option for you. The device was around $350.
hair removal for the hairy
Thanks for sharing. Do report back how it works for you!
anon
Calves (razor, daily in summer or weekly in winter), under arm (razor, every other day/every 3rd day), upper lip (tinkle razor or tweezers, as needed, probably weekly), eyebrows (tweezers on arch tinkle razor above brows, daily or every other day, why and how?!), random chin hairs (tweezers, as needed), full brazilian (razor, as needed, probably weekly).
Multi Media?
Hi all! I have a non-work related project I am working on, where I have a bunch of short video clips that I want to combine together in one nice looking video, with perhaps the option to add some verbiage in the beginning/end, and maybe add a little bit of music to. The purpose will be to send the link or what have you to a few people as a thank you. Any website/app platforms you would suggest to use to best do this? I have a Mac.
Thank you!
Anon
Premiere Pro
anon
Premiere Pro is the Cadillac & probably overkill for your needs. I think iMovie would work just fine for the editing, then you can upload the video to Vimeo for sharing purposes.
Anon
Thank you both!
Anon
Over the last 15 months, I have managed to prioritize my health and lose 75 pounds. Mostly through diet, but some exercise. I’ve been overweight my entire adult life, so this is exciting to me. I have a goal that I want to jog a mile. I want to do it safely, and I’m willing to work up to this over a long period of time, if necessary. I’m a 33-year old female with no known existing medical conditions. I’ve never been a runner (other than forced physical fitness checks in high school).
So, please give me all of the advice and tips.
Panda Bear
You can do it! This was me for a long time too. Consider going to a running store for advice on a pair of sneakers. A good place will have knowledgeable staff who can assess your gait and help you choose a pair that feels good. Then, work up to briskly walking a mile. When that feels good, start walking/running. Literally – walk, then a quickly little jolt of running – five seconds if that’s all you can do – and back to walking. Then keep at it over time. Work up to running for 10 seconds then walk, run half a minute then walk, run five minutes then walk… you will get there. Listening to fast paced music helps me too.
Anon
+1 going to a running store. I’m a moderate runner and I literally do this every time I buy new running shoes.
Find a good easy path right from your front door. I find when I have grandiose plans of running around the pretty small lake nearby but I have to drive to get to it, that creates a small mental barrier that just leaving out your front door does not. As you get further along, the app “MayMyFitness” has a section that will show you routes other runners have done near you for inspiration.
Music for sure! It can actually be kind of tricky to get the right mix all with the appropriate tempo. Lately I’ve been running to the Spotify’s “Upbeat Taylor Swift Songs” if that sounds like your jam : )
Congrats and Good luck!
Anonymous
Second all of this. Definitely get fitted for good shoes. Start slow – walk, then run, and alternate. Build up to running for longer periods.
anonshmanon
also +1 on the walking/running alternating and ramping up the running intervals bit by bit. It’s called interval training and it totally works. It’s also less boring that normal running. Go out with your phone or a smartwatch, and crank some music, and use one of the many apps for interval training that are out there. These are basically elaborate timers that allow you to input your interval program (like, 3 min warm up walk, then alternate 10 second runs and 60 second walks) and they will give you a beep signal when you need to switch from running to walking and back and also a nice countdown aka ‘hang in there, only three more seconds running’. Once you have a run that felt doable, you can extend the run interval and/or shorten the walk and work your way to your goal.
To build up not only strength but also stamina, I would recommend to also include slightly longer distances like 1.5-2 miles from time to time. Whenever I do a slightly longer run and then go back to my standard route, I can feel a jump in improvement.
Anonymous
Oh you just need Couch to 5k! It’s a whole program to take you from zero to a 5k (no reason why you couldn’t stop at a mile if you want). It alternates running and walking and gradually builds. Key tips:you need new shoes, and go easy- when you start run slower and for less time than your max capability.
Anon
I think there’s a C25K subreddit, I would start there.
Anon
Actually, I take that back. I thought they had a wiki with a one mile plan, but that might have been on a different sub. Fitness, maybe.
Sutemi
Couch to 5k is the classic program to use for this. It will take you through starting from walking to adding in short spurts of jogging to longer stretches of jogging. Feel free to repeat weeks and go at your own pace.
One thing to consider is your running form as you get further into your program. It is easier to fix at the beginning rather than going back once you have bad pains. If something doesn’t feel right then stop and rest, don’t push through pain.
Anon
Yay, this is awesome to read! I have no running tips but I’m curious what you found to be most successful in your weight loss journey.
OP
Thank you! I use WW to track my food. The points system is based on macro tracking, but I find it less time-consuming than straight up macro tracking. 95% of items are scannable with their barcode scanner, and so many restaurants are in the app. I found other people in my demographic who had great success, and I follow them on an Instagram that I created just for this purpose. I meal prep my entire week on Saturday mornings.
The biggest shift has been mental through. Once I saw immediate progress, I started to realize what foods are worth it to me or not. Weekly Chinese takeout is absolutely worth it to me. But, I eat a few bites of the fried option and really enjoy it. Then, I load up with lean meat and veggie options with the sauce on the side for dipping.
anonshmanon
so true about what foods are worth it! This makes a big difference for me in drinks as well.
anon
Awesome! I highly recommend the Couch to 5K program for beginning runners, and do NOT be afraid to repeat weeks if needed. I have done the program several times during my adult life (a couple of pregnancies put running off the back burner for awhile). It works, and it’s gradual enough that it’s not a huge shock to the system.
Anonymous
+1
I managed to run a 5K using couch to 5k. You can download an app, and there are also podcasts. I would encourage you to be gentle on yourself, repeat weeks if needed, but also to “trust” the program and move on to the next week even if you think you barely survived the prior week. I was surprised that even when I struggled with a week, the next week was still doable — you’re not looking for week A to feel easy before you move on to week B. If you can finish a run, you can do the next one. If you fall off the plan, then repeat the last week you did, or the one before that. The first 1-2 months of running are HARD, but it gets much easier after that, so try to stick with it. Make sure you have good sneakers. You’ll be able to do a full mile without stopping about 6-8 weeks into the program.
Monte
Yes to getting proper shoes, but also other gear — especially a good sports bra. Bad sports bras make you miserable and discourage you from running, and may actually throw off your form (like hunching to minimize bounce). Doesn’t necessarily have to be expensive, particularly if you are not particularly well-endowed, but it is a game changer.
If you need a rec for the well-endowed, I have a half dozen of the Panache 5021. Others swear by the Enell, but I actually stopped running rather than wear it, I hated it so much (so much fabric, so uncomfortably warm and sweaty).
Panda Bear
+ oh my goodness yes. How could I forget to mention that? I recommend the Freya Active ones, especially if you need a small band/big cup combination.
anon
Couch to 5k program. A decent sports bra if you are well endowed and appropriate shoes. At this stage you do not need to spend money on clothing, running watch, etc. Run slower than you think you should be running. If you can’t carry on a conversation, you’re going too fast.
anonshmanon
Does anyone actually have conversations while running? A lot of the time this gives me stitches, not from lack of air, but more from irregular breathing. I need to focus on breathing regularly when I am running. I feel that this is more hypothetical advice.
anon
I’ve run four marathons, and yes, chatted with people in my running group on runs ranging from 3 to 20+ miles. My husband and I are both runners and often talk when we run together. If you are getting stitches from chatting, you are going too fast. Or too fast for a random training run. If you are doing speed work, a tempo run, hills, etc. then I understand not talking. But for just a regular run, engaging with other people can really add to the enjoyment of the sport.
Anon222
Even when I am fully and well trained for an ultra, I am not someone who can converse while running even when I am going incredibly slow. Previously, it was because of my asthma and now, it’s a combination of asthma plus what I think is holdover effects from mild COVID in December. Reason No 1 why I hate group runs!!
anon
Oh, that’s fair. But I think it’s still good advice for new runners to slow down. If you haven’t run before, you sometimes imagine “running” like running if you’re being chased. Group runs definitely aren’t for everyone, but for some people the social aspect helps. I ‘m sorry you had covid and hope you feel better in the coming months!
Nom
+1 to the Couch-to-5k recommendations. There are a ton of options out there, I really like the NHS podcast version; although it’s older (2012-ish?), it’s free and non-gimmicky. The attitude was right for me (upbeat and gently encouraging, low pressure), and the music is decent (a little generic but not annoying). I was actively anti-running until last year, and I’m planning to run a real 10k later this year.
If you are running outside, I would encourage you to pick the most level route possible. At the beginning, even a gentle incline that I didn’t even notice while walking sometimes felt so. Freaking. Tough! when I was trying to jog up it. Basically, be kind to yourself and start out with the easiest options possible: distance, speed, and inclines are all things to build up to.
Also +1 to the recommendation to go to a running store for shoes. The right shoe makes a big difference, esp when your body is adjusting to moving differently and for longer than it’s used to.
Finally, if you experience shin soreness, ice massage is sooo helpful! I managed to give myself shin splints twice, mostly because I am stubborn and impatient. (This is also why I know that it is extra frustrating to have to take 6 weeks off and restart from the beginning… again.) Basically, getting on top of any lasting shin tenderness sooner rather than later will help prevent problems before they start.
No Problem
Also consider your exercise clothing. You really want to avoid chafing, so you need exercise clothes that fit very close to the body to prevent your skin from rubbing together. Use body glide or similar on areas that might rub together – I always put some on my inner thighs when I wear shorts. Get a good sports br@ that supports you when you bounce, and clothing in wicking fabrics (do not exercise in cotton if you can avoid it, it can lead to mega chafing).
Definitely get fitted for some shoes and make sure you have the right socks for you as well. Nothing is worse than socks that slide down or don’t fit well! Some people prefer thin, some thicker, some medium. A running store should be able to give you a few options to try to see what works best with the shoes you’re buying. If after a few uses you find you’re developing some blisters, get some moleskin to put on those spots on your feet before your next workout. This hasn’t been a problem for me at low mileage, but 5+ miles will definitely cause blisters for me and putting on the moleskin before a run or long walk helps a lot. You may end up doing a LOT of walking, so just be prepared for the possibility of blisters.
You can totally do this! One mile feels like a lot when you’ve never done it before, but all the advice for interval training is the way to go.
Anon
When you start running, keep it at a pace such that you can maintain a conversation. This will almost certainly be slower than you think “running” should be – it is for nearly everyone. If you’re using a heart rate monitor, that roughly corresponds to zone 2. You’ll have a mix of walking and running – that’s normal and good!
As others said, get fitted for shoes at an actual running store.
Brooks and Oiselle make good shorts for folks who aren’t high school/college age runner girls. I like the 7-inch inseam (Long Roga), myself. The Nike running shorts that are everywhere are great for young /rail thin folks, but aren’t great for the rest of us (hello, chafing!) Target is also a great place for inexpensive workout clothes.
See if your city has a beginning runner’s group.
Strength training
also NYRR Run center has free strength classes online and they focus on what runners need to strengthen.
anon
Congrats on your weight loss, 75 lbs is the result of some dedication! I used to be afraid of jogging because I thought I ‘couldn’t really run’ (cue painful memories of early puberty and elementary school PE). I don’t think I ran a single mile between 6th grade and when I turned 31… All that to say, if you can walk quickly, you can run! I do recommend Couch to 5k but my best advice would be to just plan to jog a bit, run a bit, jog a bit, etc. It’s totally fine if you start by jogging just one neighborhood block during a walk. Just keep incrementally adding more until you get to where you want to be. I definitely do recommend a foam roller though, do it after you run when you get home and save yourself some days of leg pain.
Foreign Student
I’m a foreign student considering going to a US school – and I’ve heard horror stories from students in Harvard / Stanford / Yale / Stanford that unless your parents have money or power, your social life will be sh*t and your self esteem will tak because of the myriad people (an atmosphere sort of driven by prep school grads) who will look down on you or walk away in fhe middle of a convo because you don’t have rich or powerful parents / are on a full scholarship. From multiple accounts, it seems to be a thing tha tcarries over from secondary school, on to Law School / MBA and beyond. Is this true? Is this what America is? I have a sort-of American dream that these degrees open up opportunities around the world (and frankly gaining admission to top 20 something US unis is so much easier than going to a top-tier uni in my part of the world, as long as you are willing to pay), but would appreciate firsthand accounts from people who have been.
Foreign Student
Ugh sorry for multiple typos.
Anonymous
Of course this isn’t true, you’re getting a very elite view of things. Most of us don’t have money or power. Sure there’s def a very wealthy tier of students and if you’re desperate to be a part of that circle you might be disappointed. I’d focus more on where you can realistically get in, how you will pay for it, and a solid understanding of the immigration rules.
Anonymous
Yes, there are people like that, and cliques and fancy clubs that are all about old money and exclusivity. Don’t waste your time with them. There are also people who are super into theater, or physics, or a sport, or the school newspaper . . . . You will find your people (and you’ll find jerks), in any college. That being said, while the reputation of the Ivy League will open some doors, the “amazing network” of alumni that give new grads fast-pass access to the halls of power- that’s generally accessed by the fancy club/prep school bunch. My opinion. I’m glad I went, I was not from a wealthy or powerful family, I didn’t hang with those folks, had an excellent social life.
Cat
I went to a different Ivy and while there were definitely kids that had capital-C-Connections, this nightmare snob scenario you’re describing is not correct from a middle-class American’s perspective.
There may be cultural differences at play depending on where you are coming from – that would make it harder to connect with people across the board perhaps? Like, if your acquaintances are the type that would have 100% focused on the academic advantages of the US education — to the detriment of the absolutely real friends & long term networking part — that would play into a struggle to make connections.
Goodluck
+1 I’m an alumni of a top-10 non-ivy and my sister is an ivy alum. Possibly there were coteries of well connected 20 year olds but it’s not the majority. My experience was that most students were the children of upper middle class parents who got there through a combination of hard work, privilege and luck. I will say, if your English is strongly accented it will make it harder to make connections.
Anon for this
I went to a different Ivy, and I could be wrong but I seem to remember most foreign students have a hard (if not impossible time) getting financial aid, so those schools tend to attract children of parents who can afford ~$250K college educations. I came from a prep school, American upper class background, but my friends were from all walks of life, and all parts of the world, and don’t recall anyone who was tremendously stuck up or rude (at least about money/background) like you suggest. This may be more the case in the international student communities, but I don’t have any insight into that. The “doors opening” trope is true to some degree, but it VERY much depends on what you study (some industries, mine included, couldn’t care less), and to some extent, I agree with the other poster that it helps if you have rich parents with connections. Also, the really big brand name schools do tend to have more weight internationally, as many people outside of the US wouldn’t have heard of great but lesser known schools, so may be more true in your case.
Anonymous
I went to a prep school that sent a lot of people to my Ivy. I barely ever saw the people from my HS. I wouldn’t be that concerned about a social culture you can’t break into.
I can tell you my perspective was that people’s parents didn’t really come up that often, and people didn’t really care, unless they were “that” type of person in all situations, in which case, I avoided them and vice versa. There were also a lot of kids on full scholarship at my prep school, as well as my Ivy (given the needs blind admission and full ride for many people).
In terms of law school, I found people broke into groups based on whether or not they had worked for a few years prior to law school. All of my friends had worked and that experience made us feel even more distant from what people’s parents did.
Anon
Not at all my experience in graduate school at slightly less impressive than HYS east coast school. I’m very curious about how and why this is the only thing you’ve heard!
Stanford alumna
I went to Stanford undergrad. At Stanford, I had wonderful friends from a variety of financial circumstances. From my experience, in no way was wealth or power necessary to have a good time. Many people from wealthy backgrounds would never mention it or flaunt it and lived like the rest of us.
I was aware that there were some students from wealthy backgrounds who wanted to spend lots of money who found each other and spent lots of money socializing together. They were a small minority, it wasn’t my scene, and it didn’t impact me.
Anon for this
I went to Harvard for undergrad and this was not my experience at all. I socialized with people from across the socioeconomic spectrum (kids from rural areas who were the first in their family to go to college, girl who had been homeless, kid from Kenya who had never been out of the country – poor guy was freezing in the winter – as well as prep school kids, kids of famous politicians, even an Austrian prince…).
Everyone was generally respectful. Sure, there were probably some rich-and-powerful circles that I wasn’t a part of, but people across the spectrum had rich and fulfilling experiences.
anon
Nope! Have no fear! I went to Stanford, and almost all of my friends were first-generation kids whose parents had started from nothing, or foreign students, and they were super kind, hard working, awesome people. I remember before I went being scared that everyone would be snobby, but, that’s not what I experienced at all, instead I felt like I was surrounded my “my kind of people” for the first time in my life – people who loved to talk about ideas, and make things happen. I am white, long-time American family, very middle class, for background. It might be relevant here that I studied engineering – I think there are fewer students from very wealthy families in the hard sciences and engineering. I’m sure there were snobby people at Stanford, but, those aren’t the people I chose as friends, and there were plenty of other wonderful people to befriend instead! If you go to Stanford, you might consider doing SLE freshman year – that’s a pretty nerdy, hardworking, group of people, that I would be very surprised if was status conscious. For another data point, my sister went to another private school that attracted lots of kids from wealthy families, and had a roommate with a $10k year clothing budget, which…let’s just say my parents laughed hysterically when my sister asked if she would have something similar. She had a lot of friends who were a bit fancier, yet made lots of friends even without being able to keep up with them financially.
Anon
Fellow hot sleepers, I am soliciting recommendations for bedding that helps to keep you from overheating at night. I have a Saatva classic mattress, jersey cotton sheets, and Brooklinen’s “lightweight down comforter”. I’m still overheating. I have lightweight cotton pajamas, and I’m keeping the room cool.
Anonymous
Oh it’s the jersey that’s terrible makes you super hot. Just normal flat cotton percale sheets will be much better.
Anonymous
+1
NY CPA
+1 – Look specifically for the word “percale”. They often won’t have the highest thread count, but that doesn’t matter. Higher thread count actually can make them warmer. I have percale sheets I like from The Company Store. Also, look for cotton percale pajamas if you can.
Cornellian
I don’t mean this in a snarky way, but do you need your comforter? In the summer I often use my empty duvet cover because it has a TINY bit more weight than my sheet so I feel “tucked in”, but doesn’t really add much heat.
Anon
OP here, not a bad idea. I do like the feel of the comforter and have never not had a comforter on my bed, but it’s soooo hot.
Anonymous
Try a blanket. Down is a super warm material
anonymous
In the summer I make the bed with a flat sheet and a duvet, with nothing side the duvet. I like the feeling of being covered but it’s not as heavy as a comforter. I keep an extra blanket at the foot of the bed if I feel cold.
Anonymous
? A duvet is a comforter.
Cat
A duvet cover alone – without the fill – is essentially just a double sheet
Anon
We’ve had this conversation here multiple times! Obviously we can figure it out from context here, even if you do think (like I do) that the duvet is the comforter.
Shananana
Yeah, I switch to light quilts as soon as temps break into the 60s. And cotton sheets (with silk pillowcases) and a fan in the room to move air.
Cat
Jersey sheets are super clammy. Switch to cotton percale! And perhaps just a cotton blanket for the weight rather than a down comforter – however light, it’s still down.
Anonymous
We switch to a matelassé in summer.
Mal
In addition to percale sheets, it make a huge temperature difference to me to have shorts vs pants and short sleeve vs long sleeve PJs. Also, synthetic material in clothing makes me sweat more – cotton is way better. Also, use your ceiling fan if you have one! Good luck!
anon a mouse
I like the weight of a comforter but down is way too hot for me in the summer. I have a thin cotton quilt that is much more breathable, yet still heavy enough that I can feel that I’m under a blanket. A muslin quilt would do the trick too.
Also yeah, skip the jersey sheets. The Target Threshold percale sheets are nice and smooth and cool.
Senior Attorney
In summer we use a lightweight quilted bedspread instead of a comforter. We have this one and love it: https://www.potterybarn.com/products/belgian-flax-linen-diamond-quilt-white/
Anon
I’m a hot sleeper and I absolutely cannot use a down comforter. I have a down alternative one from Ikea that is super lightweight. If it’s really hot, I just use a light blanket.
Sunshine71
If you are open to other recommendations, I’d look into a cooling mattress pad. We have an Ooler and it is amazing.
Explorette
And try ditching the pajamas.
AnonMPH
I had the same Brooklinen comforter and found that even though they said it was perfect for us hot sleepers it really wasn’t, I was sweating all the time with it even often in winter. This winter I slept with a cotton comforter and now have switched to just a light blanket. Sometimes I’m cold when I get in bed but I don’t wake up all sweaty and awful.
Also linen sheets! And we have a winkbed mattress which I also think helped, but assume you don’t want to replace your mattress.
Anonymous
I bought an ikea duvet that is rated “cool”. I like the weight of a duvet, but was overheating with a down filled duvet. The added benefit is that it is washable. I use a duvet cover made out of percale cotton. High thread count is not your friend for a fitted sheet or the duvet cover as the high count cotton doesn’t breathe as well.
Anonymous
Bay Area people, which beach in Marin is best for bodysurfing, Stinson or Bolinas? I want to make it up there this summer, but I grew up going to the beach in Santa Cruz and I’m not familiar with Marin as much. Any recs for the best beach for playing around in the waves?
Anon
We stayed at an Airbnb in Bolinas last year (it was amazing!) but assuming we saw all the beaches Bolinas had to offer, I would 100% say Stinson – although admittedly I’m not a bodysurfer so maybe I shouldn’t be responding.
Just beware the traffic up heading up there depending on when! As you may already know.
Anon
My kids have body surfed in Stinson but please be careful! It’s a dangerous beach. It scares me when they’re out there.
Sarah Flint - thank you for the recommendation
Just wanted to follow up on a posting from a month or so ago. I wasn’t the OP at the time, but I did buy a pair of Sarah Flint loafers on the recommendation of someone for comfortable shoes. I just got them today and they are SO COMFORTABLE out of the box and the materials feel like they are such high quality. The leather inners feel like butter. I got the red croc/suede loafers and I absolutely love them. Thanks again for the recommendation and to the poster who sent me a referral code. I love learning about new brands from you all!! :)
Anon
I’m fully vaccinated, live alone, and am 100% WFH. I’m thinking about taking a longer road trip this summer, staying in AirBnBs, and working from other places for awhile to mix things up. Would love ideas on where to go! I’m based in Chicago. The southwest US appeals, (I’d love to see New Mexico and AZ) but it feels very far and isolated in a way that the east does not. Pre-COVID, I spent a lot of time in NYC, Boston, and NJ because most of my college friends are based out there, but now I’m less drawn to big cities for obvious reasons.
If I were to go east, I could drive to somewhere in OH or Pittsburgh the first day and then use that as a base for the next leg of the trip. But where to go? And for how long? I’ve always wanted to see Nashville, Asheville, Chapel Hill…
I would be living the same way I do at home. Very low-risk. So mostly takeout or cooking at home, maybe eating outside, and ideally incorporating a lot of hiking, running, and exploring.
If you could do this, where would you go? And for how long?
anonshmanon
The Grand Canyon!
Anon
I love this idea (and I’ve never been!) but where would you stop along the way? How many days would you take to get there? I have this image of myself driving alone through desolate, barren landscapes en route to AZ and I get nervous!
Anon
Chicago to Omaha Nebraska (6 hours), Omaha to Denver (7.5 – 8 hours), Denver to the Grand Canyon (10.5 hours). That’s how normal people would do it. Since I am comfortable driving 12+ hours in a day, I would do Chicago to Denver, Denver to the Grand Canyon.
If you want interstate highway only, go through St. Louis (I-55), OKC (I-44), and Albuquerque (I-40). Bank north just before Flagstaff. All of those highways are well traveled but not busy.
Other people can speak to the drive through CO; that is one of the few states that I have only visited, never driven through.
Anon 2.0
Omaha has a world class zoo that would make a great day activity.
anonshmanon
just looking at the first route on google maps, it seems you would come through Iowa, Nebraska, Colorado and Utah on the way from Chicago. Without having been to these places, I think that sounds like some pretty varied landscape. I just tend to look at the whole route (25hrs drive) and see if anything looks intriguing, like parks and places along the way. Then based on that I decide to stay in a place for several nights, and how to break up the driving. If there is nothing that I find interesting, I might just schedule a whole day for driving to get to the next place, although half a day is less draining. Or if I see that some town that I’ve never heard off is in a good location for a stopover, I’ll research it and try to find something interesting about it. This works most of the time, although not gonna lie, Barstow, CA was a letdown. Everyone has different preferences. I also haven’t done long solo road trips, usually with other people, but I do most of the planning.
Cat
Iowa, Nebraska, and most of Colorado (until you get to Denver basically) — the old joke about there being two cornfields? The one on the right and the one on the left? Yeah. You don’t realize just how long those states are until you drive to your ski vacation from IL :)
Anon
+1 as someone who has done most of this twice, Iowa and Nebraska are pretty boring and long to drive through (no offense to my Iowan and Nebraskan friends).
Gov-o
Once you get to Denver, the drive either down I-25 to Santa Fe is just over 5 hours (did it this weekend for my first vaccinated trip but it’s long been a common long weekend for us). Then it’s another hour to Albuquerque. Of course you can cut across the Rockies for some of the most breathtaking driving available and make your way down to Arizona that way. Omaha is actually really charming–good food, the Old Market area is quirky and fun, but yes, the drive across Nebraska is long and flat and the first few hours in Colorado are as well. You can always go north of there and cut down through Wyoming, but all of these states have a lot of space between the molecules.
Cat
I might go north instead – like up through Finger Lakes, through New England, spend some time on the Maine coast. The non-coastal-South in July or August just sounds… sweaty.
Anonymous
I would def not go to Ohio and PA. New Mexico is a dream, I’d go there
NY CPA
I did a southwest roadtrip for a week. One thing I found is that the internet was very shoddy in most of the hotels I stayed in. I would assume it’s the case in homes as well, so zoom would be a non-starter. I think those are the areas that they talk about when they talk about expanding broadband to 100% of Americans. You’ll have luck in major cities like Phoenix/Scottsdale, Santa Fe. Probably Sedona and Flagstaff and cities of those sizes.
NY CPA
That being said, I highly recommend seeing the Grand Canyon, Sedona, and Monument Valley. Those were definite highlights.
anon.
Yep. I’d Air BNB in Sedona, even in summer. Taos or Santa Fe would be a bit cooler.
Anon
I’ve done many cross country road trips, hitting pretty much every corner of the country (I’ve moved multiple times, plus a few for fun). The most recent one was two years ago, and even then I spent a fair amount of time in areas with no cell service, even on the major interstates. That shouldn’t dissuade you, but definitely be prepared for it and I suggest having some backup paper maps and maybe a real GPS, not just your phone, if you’ll be off the interstate. Hotel internet is usually awful, though if you’re doing AirBnBs you might have better luck. The southwest is beautiful, but also very hot in the summer, so I’d definitely consider how much you like the heat before going there. North Dakota is surprisingly beautiful to drive through, if you were to head north and go to Wyoming or Montana (Yellowstone is one of the most amazing places in the world, though pretty crowded in the summer). If you head to the SE, it’s also pretty hot, but Asheville or the Smoky Mtns might not be too bad. All of these places could be really crowded this summer, so you’ll probably have to make sure you have places booked and see if things like National Parks are doing reservation based entry.
Anonymous
I drove from Phoenix to Illinois back in November and made a road trip of it, with a focus on national parks. Obviously there’s a ton going on in Phoenix; good internet and good hiking, but already by this point in the year it’s getting very hot, so you want to stay at higher altitudes. There’s the Grand Canyon, of course–definitely don’t miss that! Petrified Forest/Painted Desert National Park is also amazing, it’s very pretty at sunset. Between Northern Arizona and Denver you can either go the longer-but-highways route, through Albequerue, or the shorter-but-smaller-roads route, through Durango. It’s much prettier, but requires more focus on your driving. Durango is great as a base–lots of nice stuff to do around there, and AirBnBs with good internet. Between Durango and Denver, Great Sand Dunes National Park is a lot of fun too. Albequerque is also a good base, to Santa Fe, Taos, and a lot of other nice places. And the altitude is high enough that it doesn’t get too hot. Between Denver and Illinois, there’s not much going on in terms of national parks or outdoor scenery if you stay on the main highways. Listen to lots of podcasts and stop for the night in a bigger city, which is more likely to have consistent mask-wearing than a smaller town, based on my experience from November. Have fun!
Anon
Be sure your employer is ok with working from other states. There are many possible issues, and some employers are not ok with unauthorized changes in locale.
Anon for this
Is there a mild, drugstore pimple cream that people here would recommend? Someone recommended Differin, but it seems too harsh for my teenager, who has mostly clear skin but the occasional pimple on the chin and a bunch on her forehead.
anon
She can apply moisturizer under the Differin to make it less harsh. Other options are salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide, which are not as effective in my experience.
Anon
I use Differin to spot treat the occasional pimple, and I have very clear skin otherwise. Literally nothing clears it up as fast for me. (Just letting you know you can use this as a spot treatment and it works. You don’t have to use it daily and all over. Sorry I have no alternative recs though.)
cara
I use the Clean & Clear Advantage Acne Spot Treatment for this, I also have mostly clear skin but occasionally get a pimple and when that happens this addresses it quickly enough. It’s mainly the salycylic acid and maybe the witch hazel that actually help.
Silly Valley
+1
neef
check out the ordinary, they sell it at ultra.
Jules
Try a dab of tea tree oil as a spot remedy.
Ribena
I also like tea tree. The body shop sell a tea tree wand which is my favourite remedy for this.
Anonymous
I use a sulfur mask (I really like the one from ProActiv) for spot treatment. But I also like Differin and don’t find it harsh.
anne-on
+1 – sulfur masks (the really cheap one from de la cruz works great) dabbed on just over the pimples or spread thinly over the area works a treat. I’d say 15-30 minutes to start, but no more than an hour. No sun sensitivity to worry about and while slightly drying it won’t bleach sheets/towels.
Anon
Neutrogena Rapid Clear. It comes in a little gray and orange tube about the size of a lipstick. Been using it for over a decade with my mostly clear skin with occasional pimple.
Anonymous
With retinoids like Differin, it’s often recommended to start with every third day, then work up to every other day and finally every day if the skin will tolerate it. A routine of wash face – wait 30 minutes – apply retinoid – wait 30 minutes – apply moisturizer was recommended to me for Retin-A, and it really cuts down on the irritation.
Anonymous
My teenager swears that washing her forehead with dandruff shampoo helps.
Tessa Karlov
If it’s forehead acne that isn’t responding well to Differin it could actually be fungal acne. For that, I actually use dandruff shampoo as a mask for ~5 minutes once a week and it works wonders.
Elderlyunicorn
She might also try pimple patches. There are a TON but I am partial to the Zit Sticka patches (the micro needles sound scary, but they’re really nothing) for pimples that are red and just under the surface, and the hydrocolloidal patches from CosRX for pimples that have a lot of fluid/you’d normally be super tempted to pop.
Anon
Not sure if they still make this, but I swore by ZapZyt when I was in college. I have no idea why it worked so well, but it did for me and any friends I would loan it to!
Anon
Paula’s Choice has a 2.5% benzol peroxide treatment that is gentle and effective.
anon
Tell me about your favorite places in Aruba. I’ve never been. Planning to go end of summer – direct flights/airbnb. Everyone going will be fully vaxxed end of May and I’m hopeful about overall vax for US by then)
Cat
We’ve only been once, but…
-The main drag is the Eagle and Palm Beaches area. (Eagle is lower-rise hotel properties; Palm is higher-rise). We liked our Airbnb’s location in the Noord neighborhood slightly to the north of all that. It was only a 10 minute drive to the beach but it wasn’t a noisy scene. It was extremely close to Arashi beach, which was probably our favorite due to the overall chill vibe and relative lack of jetski noise.
-We are not ATV people so instead did two different snorkel trips as excursions. One went south (unusual) but offered a drift snorkel that was fabulous – the Tranquilo. The others all seem to have the same basic itinerary (shipwreck, Boca Catalina, etc) but make for a fun day on the water; we were pleased with how much time our company (Pelican) spent at each stop, which was generous.
-There are plenty of casual beachfront places to grab lunch midday even if you’re not staying at a beachfront hotel. Bugaloe’s on Palm was one of our go-tos.
-For dinners, we prefer to stick with mostly fresh fish while on vacation, and we thought Wacky Wahoo did the best cooking. Flying Fishbone was worth it to go once (they have a little ledge in the water that lets you dine in the sea) although they charge a premium for the experience.
-Bring eye drops and drink way more water than you think you’re thirsty for. Aruba is famous for its steady 15-20mph winds and while they’re great for staying cool in the sun, it means you can get dehydrated without realizing it.
Anon
We did a tour through Trikes Aruba and it was amazing. They are three wheeled motorcycles. When we went they were all manual with a gear shift like a car and a pedal clutch. They reportedly now have automatics too. I can drive stick, my husband can’t. A lot of people got a kick out of seeing me drive w/ my giant 6’5″ husband riding on the back. He loved getting to be the passenger because he got to focus on the sites more while I was watching the road. It was so fun and I would totally do it again.
https://trikes-aruba.com/
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Lighthouse walk and eat dinner at the restaurant – beautiful views!
Anon
Love Aruba! Beautiful island! Things to know about Aruba: 1) trade winds make for gorgeous weather even when it is hot (and you should drink extra water because you won’t realize you are getting overheated/sunburned, since you won’t really sweat), but some strategies to deal with 25-30mph winds that you might not consider: bring travel mugs with lids to put your drinks in. Bartenders will make your drink for you in your mug you and hand over to you. This will prevent you from getting sand in your fruity cocktail or your plastic cup from blowing over. Also a good idea to bring clothespins for clipping your towel to your chair so it does not blow away. 2) Aruba is divided into the “low rise section” and the “high rise section,” and you will hear these references. Not sure which you will be staying in. I consider the low rise to be more low key, laid back, relaxing and the high rise to be more fast-paced, nightlife, gambling, somewhat more crowded. I like to low rise section a lot for the beaches (Eagle Beach), as they are not so crowded. 3) Aruba sunsets=gorgeous. Book dinner reservations an hour before sunset so you can enjoy the view over the water. Also recommend a sunset cruise as an excursion. For dinner, consider making reservations a couple weeks in advance of your trip if there is a restaurant you really want to go to. You are not going in the high season, but restaurants can get crowded and you might have a hard time finding a table at your desired dining time, depending on how large your party is.
Reccs for dining in the low rise area near Eagle Beach:
-Elements (#1 favorite)
-Ikes Bistro
-Windows on Aruba
-Chophouse at Manchebo
-Madame Janette’s (although I haven’t been in years b/c I couldn’t get a reservation last time I was there)
Have such a great trip!