Gift Idea: Custom Pet Socks

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1. Got these socks- Christmas themed!- for Christmas a couple of years ago and they’re great. The photo wasn’t a very good one but the socks overall are great.

2. The post this morning got me thinking. This year, how often have you cried at work or because of work?

   I have cried three times, all situations that I don’t think I would’ve cried over pre-pandemic. An associate in my office told me last week she’s cried every week almost the entire year.

   1. OMG I lost count in 2019-2020, and also other times during my 14 year legal career for sure and probably once or twice in my first career too (sports marketing/athlete management). So, a lot!

      1. Add the first half of 2021 in that too. I switched positions at my company in July and haven’t cried at a work since!

   2. I think I’ve cried because of work two times (that I can remember) this year. That’s maybe slightly more than usual, but usually something gets me at least once a year or so.

   3. Probably 4 or 5 times, all while pulling into the parking lot in the morning. Called my therapist after the 5th time and haven’t cried since.

   4. I’ve never cried in front of someone else at work and I don’t think I’ve ever actually cried *about* work, despite being a pretty big crier in general. I guess I’m just not invested enough in my work to cry about it? I don’t know. I have cried (privately, alone in my office) over non-work stuff too many times to count. Reasons for crying range from major things that anyone would sympathize with (e.g., when my FIL had a stroke) to trivial things that many people would scoff at (listening to an emotional song or watching an emotional online video).

   5. Once. That is one more time than I can recall crying over work in the five years before, maybe longer. I complain about and get stressed by work but rarely cry about it. In this instance, I was completely sleep deprived, which exponentially increases the likelihood of tears.

   6. In the summer of 2020 I had to drive one kid to outdoor camp (that was supposed to be away-camp). I went by a lot of strip malls with mom and pop restaurants and other businesses that had gone dark. After dropping kiddo off and being alone in the car, I cried for them as I drove home for WFH. I knew that that was happening. But seeing it just brought it home. At the time, I had had my pay cut to conserve cash. Since then, my industry has had bonuses and wage increases probably more than the annual salary of the people in those closed businesses. Life is so unfair. If you are doing well, consider a donation to your local food pantry or other org serving those who are suffering. Your neighbors are not necessarily OK.

   7. Hmm, these responses are making me wonder whether it’s abnormal that I cry about work at least once a week, which has been going on since long before the pandemic. It doesn’t generally happen at work, but is definitely prompted by the frustration of managing work with a chronic illness. There doesn’t seem to be any obvious solution to my problems, short of quitting work altogether (it sort of hurts to read all the posts complaining about spouses who don’t earn enough money- you never know what’s going to happen to you and how your situation might change over the course of a marriage).

      1. +1 I cry at work for many of the same reasons. Almost never to someone unless it’s someone I know really well, although I definitely cried in a meeting with my boss right after my dad had the stroke, but it happens often in my office with the door closed. Working with a chronic illness is hard, the work I do is stressful, and I’m a crier.

         Crying about work? Oh, hell, like once a week?

      2. I agree! For the three years I was in biglaw, at least once a week! Sometimes multiple times per day! I’ve been inhouse for more than 10 years now and it’s maybe a couple times a year when I’m a combination of very tired and very frustrated.

   8. At my old job, I don’t know that I ever cried about work or at work, despite working for a pretty unhinged sociopath. My current job, I cried nearly everyday for months and months on end due to the work itself triggering some sort of PTSD response in me and also the isolation of COVID making everyone keep to themselves. My last day is next week, and honestly I haven’t cried since accepting the offer. The people here are nice, but I just couldn’t immerse myself in this work without completely losing it.

   9. Maybe twice? The first was alone and simply from feeling overwhelmed at what needed to be done in what felt like not nearly enough time without not nearly enough support. The second on the phone with my boss out of extreme frustration at a client significantly undervaluing the work/service we provide and being a jerk in the process.

   10. At work, maybe 3-4 times in my career. Usually in the bathroom, although once I did break down in front of my boss in a tough meeting during a tough time with outside-of-work stuff. He was thankfully understanding about it.

       About work? Thankfully not very often any more, but about three years ago I was in a terrible work situation where I cried on the way to work or on the way home from work every day. (Sometimes both.) If any of you are in a situation like that – just leave. It won’t get better, trust me.

   11. Zero times. I’m probably cried for five times in my career at the office prior to that over 20 years

   12. Once – a big project went absolutely tits up at the same time a close relative was undergoing a severe mental health crisis. My boss was great about it.

   13. Once. Last month. Probably first time in 7-10 years?

   14. Several times per week, but not due to work itself. I lost a parent to Alzheimers in early fall, and the end of that disease is a grisly experience.

   15. My old grandboss saw me get teary eyed when he told me my boss was quitting. I was already doing the job of two people and I could easily see that I was going to have to do my boss’s job on top of everything else.

       He was so offended by my reaction that he was distinctly icy to me for my remaining time at the company. Thankfully, I also quit within a year of that. It was a ridiculous environment.

   16. In about 15 years as a lawyer, I cried once at work in front of a co-worker (it was work-related, but not case-related. Had to do with a bad manager.) I am a criminal defense lawyer and have cried with a handful of clients when we lost their case.

       However, during 2020-2021, I cried probably 6 times while trying to work and do school from home with my children. That was the most difficult time in my career by far. Since my kids have gone back to in-person school, I have not cried anymore.

   17. Never in the past year. I only ever once cried at work as an intern when I had received the news my mom had terminal cancer with only months to live.

       I have never actually cried about work but I have felt pushed to the brink of tears a coue of times over the past 20 years. I am usually a crier in personal life but at wrok if I feel hurt I just get angry and stubborn.

3. I have a possibly-dumb question. I have a couple of skirts that I like, but when I tuck a shirt in, you can see the seams of the shirt through the fabric of the skirt. The skirts aren’t particularly thin material (and one is even what I would call thick), so I’m surprised to be able to see these lines, but is there anything I can do about it? Is a slip the answer and tuck the shirt into that? It almost seems more annoying to wear another layer – maybe this is just something you get over and leave it as is.

   1. You could try tucking it into your tights.

      1. Sorry! Should have mentioned, it’s still warm where I live so I’m not wearing tights today (wearing one of the skirts today). But tights aren’t going to be worn for me the majority of the time because it’s so warm.

   2. I have a few skirts like this, and I either tuck the top into tights or only wear untucked tops. Slips don’t help because they don’t compress the shirt fabric.

      1. It sounds like maybe tucking into some compression type shorts will do the trick, so I’ll try that instead of a slip! Thanks!

   3. Wear a bodysuit instead of a shirt. They make ones that look like button downs if that’s what you’re after.

      1. This is also a really good idea, thanks! I hadn’t even considered bodysuits!

4. My husband got these for me last Christmas and I almost cried! I love them.

5. my doc just prescribed wellbutrin! any tips on morning/evening/when it feels good/when it’s not working

   1. Make sure you get your liver numbers checked in 4-6 weeks. I loved the drug but it ate my liver (fully reversible not trying to panic you, just check!).

   2. Yay! I take mine in the morning. They say it takes 2 weeks to feel better but I’m telling you I was feeling better within days. Could have been just placebo effect, but I didn’t care! I did have to increase my dosage after a few months so if it’s something that works for you but then you feel like it stops working, remember you can probably try increasing the dosage (depending on what you’re starting with).

   3. I take mine in the evening because otherwise it kept me up all night. I was anxious at first, and then it settled and now it just helps day to day to stabilize. I know when antidepressants are not working if I’m not feeling better or am feeling markedly worse after 4-6 weeks. It can take up to 6 weeks to feel better, although I usually start seeing effects in 2 or 3 weeks.

   4. When I started taking it, it made me sort of antsy and anxious for a few days, maybe a few weeks, but then that went away. That’s supposedly very common with Wellbutrin, and short term side effects that go away after a few weeks are common with a lot of drugs, so it’s important to try to wait it out unless you’re really miserable (obviously, call your doctor about anything that could be serious- there should be a list in the prescription info). It doesn’t necessarily mean the drug won’t work for you or that the side effects will always be bad.

   5. I never stopped eating on Wellbutrin. Couldn’t feel satisfied. Gained sixty pounds.

      1. Wow, I totally lost my appetite and ended up losing something like 20 pounds. It’s always funny to see how differently people react to different drugs.

      2. That’s fascinating. I had the opposite — I’m never hungry and have to make sure I eat meals at appropriate times.

         OP — I take it in the morning.

6. Every time my boss passive aggressively brings up returning to the office I apply to another job. I’m underpaid, overworked, and excellent at my job. There is zero chance he will be able to replace me. All I ask is to be left alone to work with my cat in peace.

   1. +1 to leave me alone and let me work with my cat in peace!

   2. Hang in there. I’m blissfully fully remote in new gig now and I can’t even begin to describe the weight lifted. Not just the anxiety of the pandemic, but even the little things–my clothes shopping is minimal, no more $50 parking downtown, etc. etc. Night owl me also can stay up late working on a project if I’m in the zone without paying for it the next a.m. I seriously get so much more work–and sleep–now. Keep applying. If you want it, the jobs are definitely there. (Passive aggressive boss alone would have me looking.)

7. I have credit at MMLF because I missed a return window. I don’t see much that I want to spend that much money on. Are there basics from the brand you recommend? The tees or something like that where it would be an upgrade but I don’t have to keep returning expensive dresses that aren’t cut for me?

   1. I own the Rowling top in about every color. I find it works well casually as well as business and is super easy to wash and hang and look new again. Looks just as nice with jeans and a cardigan as it does under a jacket. I also find that when I do like a dress, I’ll order in more than one color. (You’re right–finding one that fits is tough, but when it’s right it’s right.) The shapes are so simple that I think they work well for a capsule and year after year. The Etsuko works well for me and it’s ridiculous how many colors I have now.

   2. I really like the short jardigan. It’s cut right to fit over a dress, which not everything is.

      1. Short jardigan is a staple! Highly recommend!

   3. I like the skirts as they have some that are tall friendly, and the cardigan jackets.

8. Anyone dealt or managed severe storm anxiety and PTSD? In an area of the country where storms are SUPER frequent, that was hit heavily with flooding last year and is prone to flash floods, and live in a home that almost took a bit of water in last storm season. The year prior to that our area got hit by a tornado on a night when there was a 3% change of tornadoes. We have had mitigation work done on our home and it’s much better, but have more extensive projects to do to optimize water going away from the house during storms. We’ve been having winter storms the past couple of weeks and one later this week and it’s exhausting. I have a therapist, know all the tips and tricks and work to implement them, but it’s debilitating and would love to hear more suggestions from folks.

   We don’t have an internal room because of open floor renovations that came with the house–except for our laundry room, which has a hot water heater (i.e., not a place you’d want to be if a tornado came through because of the piping hot water), so our safe room is a bathroom with an external wall, but it has a tub. This in itself freaks me out, but couple it with the water issue and I’m just a wreck with storms. We are VERY weather aware (almost to a fault), but it also means exhausting sleepless nights refreshing the live updates from my local news outlets.

   I just need some encouragement, advice, or hope here.

   1. I live in tornado country and while my anxiety is not to the level you describe, when I know the storms are coming it’s very rough. Do you have a programmable weather radio? I got one with a very loud alarm, which has helped relieve some of my anxiety bc if the twister is coming there is NO WAY I am sleeping through that. It’s helped me stop laying there for hours refreshing the local National Weather Service twitter account.

      1. I work in an industry where weather is very, very important to day-to-day operations, and we have one of these in the office. It is insane how loud it is. I work in a large building, and I can hear it clearly in my office, even though it’s on the entire other end of the building. It has a battery back-up so it would work if the electricity went off. It also doesn’t give a lot of false alarms. So, it won’t go off if it’s “just” a watch in the county, but it does go off if something potentially serious is approaching.

   2. I empathize, OP – I’ve struggled with this off and on from my childhood. It sounds like you’ve absolutely been through the wringer, weather-wise. Agree with the others about a weather radio.
      You have a therapist, but do you have someone who can prescribe for you? A fast-acting anti-anxiety med, prescribed for a short course might provide some relief.

   3. I can relate! I’ve spent over $40K this year mitigating the water situation from the increasing storms in my area. Including things like French Drains, additional sump pit/pump and back up battery and a generator that hooks up to an exterior gas line. I’ve had my house re-landscaped and large trees trimmed or removed. I have disks in my basement that alert me via an app if it senses water. I also cleared access in the house to an old coal room in case of a tornado (was 3 blocks from a tornado on vacation this summer). We also have emergency ladders on the 2nd and 3rd floors in case of fire. Honestly, it sounds CRAZY as I type it all out but I do know I’ve done everything I can to protect my home/family from harm. (Plus my childhood home was destroyed by fire when I was 21; which was traumatic as you can imagine).

      For those wondering, yes, I’m in therapy.

      1. I mean, this doesn’t sound that crazy to me – this kind of work is expensive. We had an exterior gas generator put in after Sandy because it hit our area so hard and it has given me SO much peace of mind in bad storms. We also had french drains/pumps put in and have cut down most of the dangerous trees or thinned out limbs that would threaten our house/garage. Fwiw, this also earned us better rates on our home owners insurance.
         We also have both a 2nd story fire ladder AND one of those fireproof duffel things for babies/cats (you stick the baby/animal in and lower it out the window, it has mesh panels for air) because the idea of having to chose to leave my cat behind in a fire if I couldn’t access his carrier would kill me. I consider this all just a good investement in my peace of mind and honestly it makes our house more attractive to buyers in our area (winter storms frequently knock out power for days, and a whole house generator is SO MUCH better than a little gas one).

         1. Thank you for making me feel “not crazy” about all this. I’m in north jersey and probably should have done all these things after Sandy also. I didn’t have the means then and flooding in July and September (Ida) I knew I had to make changes.

   4. Can you move to a different part of the country?

   5. I can relate. The summer of 2020 was very brutal in CA – the wildfire smoke and the “hazardous” air quality in my area, the extreme heat waves, my family evacuating (they ended up being okay), family friends losing their homes, all with the pandemic on top. I do have some PTSD from it. It was hard to make plans in summer of 2021, not knowing if there would be a wildfire blocking the way or if our destinations would still be standing (and in fact, some of our favorite places burned to the ground). It’s really, really hard. I’m not sure of the best way forward.

   6. You are absolutely not alone. Shortly after my husband and I bought our first home, we were so young and so excited there, and there was a hurricane that tore inland. That’s when we learned our town’s drainage was poor and our house took on a foot of water in the basement. It was so stressful and overwhelming and it took years of projects to finally get everything mitigated to where I didn’t completely melt down during storms. Then we moved and the new house was great until one fall when we had a freak storm late in the year and the gutters were clogged and we had water pouring in through an upstairs window sill. A freak occurrence, but still. I honestly don’t know that I’ll ever not panic about a big storm coming in, which isn’t great considering the climate trends where I live. I finally just upped my insurance and don’t keep anything valuable where water or a tornado would harm it. As long as I’m safe, I’ll have the means to rebuild a home and get new possessions.

   7. There is a pricey radar app called RadarScope and I really recommend it. When iffy tornado weather is headed your way, you call pull up different radar screens that allow you to live track different metrics. I have been in a tornado – as in I was in a house that was directly hit by a tornado. Seems like a lot of people say they were in a tornado meaning that one passed over in the sky, or went through a neighborhood down the road, so I am clarifying that I have bodily passed through a “strong F2”, on the ground tornado, albeit quite luckily whilst inside a 150 year old house built like a rock. To say that I have continuing storm anxiety is putting it mildly.

      On this app, the views for storm relative velocity (is it rotating?), vertically integrated liquid (is is sucking upwards strongly?), and enhanced echo tops (I have no idea what this does but have noticed that in conjunction with vertically integrated liquid it indicates a problem area), taken together, will give you a very good idea whether you, at your exact location, need to worry or not. I’m in a tornado alley, and the live info from this app is what lets me know whether I can continue on with my activities or whether I need to get in a closet, and on a couple of occasions, that I needed to get in a closet and get flat.

      I hear you on the open floor plan problem. It’s worth clearing the floor in an internally located closet and keeping a yoga mat, a pillow, a bottle of water, and a battery powered lantern or flashlight in there. Bonus points for an extension cord and extra phone charger in case you need to head in there and your phone battery is not at an optimal level. Super bonus points for a go bag, and if you have pets, leashes and/or carriers.

9. Question – do you connect with your current clients on LinkedIn? I’m an employment lawyer, management side. I do a lot of work with SHRM and so am well known in my local HR groups and connect with lots of contacts I meet at those events. And sometimes they hire me. But what about people who are already my clients? For some reason, I feel weird sending them a LI request, but can’t pinpoint why. And it’s silly because I am pretty active and post a lot about updates that my clients would probably want to see!

   1. For sure!! The point of LinkedIn is to maintain professional contacts. I am in-house, and I do not think it’s weird at all if external counsel sends me a LI request.

   2. connecting with clients is 100% normal and expected.

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