Cyber Monday – My Top 5 Sales

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1. Ladies, I need some help!
   The father of one of our long-time paralegals passed away over the weekend. We were thinking that she might not be in the mood to cook, and would appreciate a food basket delivery. Problem is – I have no idea where to look for that. I’d prefer not to do a cheese/crackers/fruit type basket, but something more substantial. Suggestions?

   1. When we had a death in the family my friends all chipped in and actually just ordered from a local Italian restaurant. It was great because we had salad, breads, pasta, and lasagna which we were able to throw in the freezer for later in the week. Not having to worry about cooking is a unexpectedly great relief during those times so if you can’t find a national type of company you might consider just finding a local restaurant that does catering.

   2. Look for delivery services like Takeout Taxi. Our organization collects money and sends a gift cert to employees who are sick, etc and it is always greatly appreciated.
      Granted, a dinner from a neighborhood Chinese place is not as spectacular as a food basket, but a lot more practical.

   3. You might also look into meal delivery services, that deliver heatable meals. I think in general food baskets are kind of silly, half the stuff just gets put in the cabinet and never eaten.

   4. if multiple people get involved, check out

      wwwDOTmealtrainDOTcom

      which is a godsend for things like this.

   5. Thanks, everybody. We went with an Omaha Steaks gift. The full meal options (meat, veggies, potato, dessert) was a good deal and fit the bill.

   6. I realize the OP already found something, but in case anyone else is looking- I would recommend Magianno’s for this scenario. They do carry out/delivery, and their food reheats really well at home.

2. Thoughts on J. Crew’s Super 120’s pencil skirt?

   I’ve been eyeing one for a long time but haven’t pulled the trigger yet; and I just might do it today with this great deal.

   1. I have the skirt; it is good. I did have to get it lengthened, bc it was too short – there was about 1″ or 1.5″ to work with. It wears well, not too many wrinkles in the middle of the day, etc., and is comfortable.

   2. I prefer the wool No. 2 skirts from JCrew. They seem much more substantial and have a longer length.

      1. Second this.

      2. Ditto. I love my wool No. 2 pencils.

   3. i dont think the wool no. 2 skirts work for my body type and have tried them on but never bought on. i have a super 120s pencil skirt suit and adore it. it is without a doubt my most worn suit — i do find that i have to size down one size as compared to the no. 2 skirt. it does not wrinkle, travels well, and has held up well in general, i’ve been wearing it constantly for 3+ years.

   4. Highly recommend it. I have the wool heather carbon and love it. The Skirt (from nordstrom) does not work for me, so if you are familiar with that fit, this might be a good option for you too. I also find that the wool material in this particular j. crew pencil skirt is just thick enough that it’s quite comfortable and flattering.

3. The Ann Taylor site is driving me crazy, it’s saying that it is down for maintenance. How is this possible on Cyber Monday??

   1. I had major problems with the Gap’s website on Friday. It may just be too much traffic.

   2. It took me an hour and a half to get through and finally place an order. Uggggh indeed.

   3. Talbots seems to be having problems too. I finally gave up. Kate Spade was slow, but I persevered and knocked out the gifts for my mom and mother-in-law.

   4. Was just coming here to post that AT and ATL sites were down. Boo.

   5. Ann Taylor (and Loft) have extended their 50% sale through Wednesday November 30th at 2:59AM EST due to their website problems today. Use MONDAY if purchasing online. Details on their facebook page.

4. PSA – Nine West has 60% off select styles and free shipping. Many boot styles are discounted.

5. I don’t mean to threadjack but I have to vent or at least ask if you guys have had similar experiences.

   I’m typing this out as I sit at my desk waiting to pay bills my mom and sister have created and never paid. Unfortunately, they are phone and water bills which are under my name (I used to live with them before marriage). My family (mom & sister) are so horrible with money and they keep on making mistakes. For years (5-6 years), I’ve been trying to work with them to handle their money better but they never seem to improve. At this point, I am just so angry with them that I can’t even stand to talk to them. I used to want to help them but now I’m just angry. I’ve tried to (1) sit with them and manage their budget, (2) provide them with money, (3) suggest ways to manage their small business, (4) offered to manage it myself, and much more but they don’t want to do any of it. It makes me angry that they have problems but they refuse to get help. They only want money from me and keep acquiring more debt. Well…in the past 1-2 years, I’ve stopped giving them money because I know there’s no way to solve their problems. They recently foreclosed their home and are now living in a rental property. They are still having money issues and it makes me really upset to even think about them. I am so disappointed in them and just knowing about their problems stresses me out. Is it weird that I don’t want to talk to them? I used to visit once a week but now its once a month because I don’t want to even be around them. They are nice and I love them but what they are doing is just too much for me to handle.

   1. 1) get your name removed from the utilities and any other accounts – credit cards, etc – IMMEDIATELY. This should be your first priority.

      2) set ground rules. you will provide them with $X a month, and that’s it. nothing more. or, say they need to earn $Y a month from their business, and you’ll match it. something like that. but make it very clear. one monthly check. (if you want to, obviously).

      3) once your name is off their records, stop paying their bills, stop trying to manage their money, stop trying to fix things. they obviously don’t want your help, and don’t appreciate it.

      Money is one of those areas where you really can’t force people to change until they force themselves. More importantly, you can’t afford to risk your good credit, your own savings, and of course, your sanity on this.

      good luck.

      1. I agree with anon. In reality, you are not actually helping them by paying their bills. They will never get a handle on their finances if they know you will always step in. They will have to live with the consequences a few times before getting the hang of it.

         I’m sorry. It’s tough love and I know from experience that it’s hard to do with relatives, but it must be done.

         1. Oh, and by the way, once you establish your boundaries with them, then you can’t be involved at all. You can’t even ask them about their money situation.

            That will probably be the hardest part, but that’s your end of the bargain. You can’t tell them what to do with their money (unless you’re paying for it.)

   2. This sounds like my family only not nearly as bad (think 8 or 9 evictions and a similar number of repossessed cars in the past 5 years). I used to stress about fixing all of their problems (which really are fixable with a little common sense and discipline), but finally I had to just let it go. You cannot fix it no matter what you do. They still call and ask for outrageous sums of money for things they cannot afford and I have to just say no because there is no end to the pit.

      Just completely untangle yourself legally (close all accounts in your name, switch all utilties out of your name) and don’t talk money with them. Ever. If they bring it up, politely decline to get involved (it helps me to be able to say this just isn’t something my husband will agree to be involved with – this is true for me and also he’s all for being the bad cop if it keeps us out of their messes).

      I’ve made exceptions for life-and-death type situations. It’s not like I’m cheap or selfish or something – I’ve just realized there is literally not one thing I can do to help them improve their fiscal health and bailing them out and financing a lifestyle they can’t afford is not helping them to get in touch with reality.

      Sorry you’re going through this. It is really painful when family members’ decisions and their taking advantage of you inevitably negatively affects your relationships in many ways. But it does, and it will probably continue to do so, and all you can do is try to legally and mentally step back.

6. P.S. Forgot to mention that the only reason I’m paying their bills right now is because I had the collections company call me. Apparently, my sister and mom moved out of the home and left some unpaid bills. I don’t want it to ruin my credit so I needed to get it paid.

   1. Gads, I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

      In addition to the above pieces of advice, run your credit reports. And I forget the terminology, but enable the thing that notifies you whenever a credit request is made in your name. From what you’ve said, it sounds like your relatives would have no problem shrugging to each other and saying “oh, just put it in Anon’s name.”

      And for what it’s worth, /hug.

   2. Just as a note, you can usually talk to the credit card/other companies (typically best to do through an attorney) if someone else’s debt has affected your credit score. Even though it is tough to throw family under the bus like that, you aren’t actually hurting them any further and instead limiting your own damage.
      I know that we have done this a lot with estates, but it can also be done in cases not involving death.

7. I’d have to say our Lollihop 25% discount on 6-month & 12-month subscriptions!!! Send a gift of health and love – http://lollihop.com/email/black-friday/. Check us out!!!

8. I can’t *believe* the Amazon sale happened literally the same day I finally took the tags off my Kate Spade bag and used it (purchased two weeks ago for full price from Zappos — no price match). I waited through Black Friday to make sure it didn’t go on sale elsewhere, but I had no idea that non-electronics would be on sale today. Gah!

9. I’m having some roommate drama I’d like a second opinion on. My roommate regularly used my things without asking – anything from coffee to towels but I told her it was fine as long as nothing she used was valuable- I got mad at her once for taking an Armani suede belt for instance. When she moved out she took a new pearl necklace with her that I’d asked her to return that day and the previous day. She did not at any point ask to borrow it or mention that she was using it. My position is that she stole it and should return it immediately. Thoughts?

   1. She stole it, plain and simple. Even if she had taken a book, that’s stealing. I would request that she return it as soon as possible and, depending on your specific relationship, perhaps mention that you were surprised to find that she took it. I would not mention it as stealing, since that will harm the relationship AND make it more confrontational (making it less likely to be returned quickly).

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