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Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anon
I love these types of blazers. Any other similar recommendations?
Anonymous
I just got this blazer from Loft and it is wonderful. It’s soft but with a nice weight to it and has functional pockets in the front. https://www.loft.com/plaid-long-knit-modern-blazer/501251?selectedColor=4899
Anon
I recently got one from Old Navy of all places – it’s a grey plaid, boyfriend fit, and soft relaxed fabric. I love it.
Worry about yourself
I saw those the other day and was soooo tempted! I’m trying to quell unnecessary spending and really had to stay focused on just buying the shirt I needed for my Halloween costume, but man, it was hard.
Anon
I am wearing my J Crew Factory Sweater Blazer today and love it so much. It is my favorite piece I bought in the last 3 months. It runs large so I had to size way down (5’4″, 128lbs, bought XXS) and the size fits but a bit tight in the arms if I don’t wear a sleeveless top inside. Considering a second one of these and may do an XS, which would work better in case I wore something a bit bulkier inside.
Anon
I’d love a plus size version if anyone has tips. Needs to be longer like this. Shrunken blazers are a no-go on my tall self.
lydia
I’m pretty sure the old navy one (mentioned above) also comes in plus…it also runs large. it’s a longer boyfriend cut, like you wanted! it comes in two plaids, a glen plaid and a tan plaid a lot like this one.
Anonymous
Does anyone wear eye shadow on a regular basis or at all?If so what do you wear? I let my curiosity get the best of me and bought a Naked Smokey pallet but could not figure out how not to look ridiculous wearing it. I watched a you tube tutorial and looked even more clown like following that. I’m beginning to think it’s just a scam to get women to spend money on something they don’t need.
Anon
Well, a smoky eye is very intense. There are lots of eyeshadow palettes that are more neutral and subtle.
Anonymous
I don’t do smoky eyes. +1 on the more neutral palettes, which can be fun.
lemon
I’ve always thought those huge pallets are scams, but I don’t wear eyeshadow regularly.
anon
Yeah, a smoky eye is not my best look. I feel like it’s really harsh against my features. That said, I wear eyeshadow on a regular basis. I stick to basically two schemes:
1) taupe, rose, creamy highlight
2) anything in the brown/copper/elevated neutral category
I have a few small palettes, but the Naked palettes have always looked completely overwhelming to me. Look at Too Faced, Bobbi Brown, even Clinique for a smaller, more manageable palette.
The original Scarlett
I like the glossier lidstar eyeshadows – they come in tubes, are kinda liquidy and you blend with your fingers. They last all day and are subtle.
CHL
I generally wear eyeshadow every day because my skin is fairly translucent and I like the consistent finish. I use Bobbi Brown cream shadow stick in vanilla or stone. I also recently found Revlon colorstay in espresso which is a nice medium brown. I’ve never understood those palettes where one shade goes here, and another here, etc.
CountC
Yes, I wear eye shadow almost every day. If no shadow, then I do liquid liner. I have been using my UD naked palette exclusively for about two months now. I dip my brush in several of the bronzy brown colors and use the one resulting color on my full lid. I do not look like a clown, but I also am not trying to do a smoky eye.
Eye shadow is, of course, not required by any stretch of the imagination however.
Z
The trick with Naked Smokey is to tap the brush onto the shadow very lightly and then tap off the excess. You can always build up color, but its hard to scale it back. I would just start by picking 2 colors for an every day look – I use the matte beige and one of the darker matte colors (the brown or blueish one usually) and build up the darker one in the crease and outer corner. Add a sparkly color to the inner corner of the lid as the situation calls for.
Anonymous
I wear very neutral eye shadow for everyday. Sometimes I just wear eye shadow primer. I want a little something to brighten my eyes but I can’t be bothered with layering and blending.
For going out, I generally do a variation of a smokey eye in whatever color range I’m feeling at the moment. Maybe pink to a dusty mauve, or gold to brown. During the summer sometimes I’ll do bright colors instead of a smokey style. Grays/blacks are intense on me and are strictly for late night, which at this point is like… NYE and that’s it.
Anon
I really like Laura Mercier caviar sticks. They are foolproof to apply and there are lots of pretty colours.
Anonymous
I love the laura mercier caviar sticks too. I wear a purple one that is perfect with my green eyes
NOLA
Dang, that makes me sad. I also have green eyes and have tried purple, but I am allergic to red dye in eye makeup.
anne-on
+1, they’re much easier for travel (no brush needed!) and pretty darn idiot proof to apply. I also like that they’re thin enough to use as either eyeliner or all over shadow. I do wish they were a bit bigger, I tend to run through them pretty quickly if I’m using them all over my lid. I also have very oily lids and these don’t budge or migrate on me.
Amelia Bedelia
yes! I love these. And i draw it on and then smudge it with my fingers utnil i’m happy with the intensity and “blending”
i use moonlight or taupe for my whole lid and then use a dark plum overtop that as an eyeliner. awesome.
Daffodil
+1
Anon
Yes, these are great!
Miss
Same. I have several of them and wear them daily. Smear on and blend. It takes a few seconds and I think it makes me look more polished.
cat socks
I just wear a single shadow on my lids. I like Wet ‘N’ Wild in Nutty. I also have a Revlon cream shadow that I apply with my finger. I have the original UD Naked Palette, but I rarely use it because I just don’t have the time or skills for a multi-shadow look.
Lilliet
I use the UD Naked pallet, but the travel version. I love it, have had it for a few years of moderate eye shadow wear. It handles my casual needs (one color for work, for example) and my going out looks (multi-color, blending, etc.). I only just hit pan on a few of the more basic colors. I love that when I travel I literally bring one thing that is eyeshadow, and if in a pinch I also use as powder liner (the black color).
navychica
I don’t have the Smokey palette, but have Naked 1, 3, and Basics, and use them all on a frequent basis. For daily use, I go with a flat brush to put a taupe matte color across my eyelid, and then a darker matte color with a fluffy brush in my crease. Blend a little, and I’m done. For Fridays, I’ll add one of the sparkly colors across my lid on top of the lighter brown.
Cat
Yes, light neutrals unless it’s evening. I don’t buy palettes.
anon
Ditto. And evening just means slightly darker neutrals.
Anon
Smokey eyes aren’t meant to be a regular look or daytime look (there is a more recent trend on “daytime smokey eyes” which really just means slightly darker regular makeup and/or deepening the eyes with a crease color – I don’t recommend this for novices).
I wear eyeshadow nearly everyday. I’ve learned what color schemes work well on me (ex. warm browns v. cool browns, purples v. pinks, shimmer v. matte) and I wear two eyeshadow colors tops for a normal day. A one shade than me brighter lid color to open up my eyes, and a one shade than me darker crease color. I apply lid color one swipe, use a thinner brush to apply the crease color in one swipe, then blend the crease color in circular motions with a blending brush. If I want a brow highlight, I use one shade lighter concealer. Takes me under two minutes to do this.
anon
I like “Like Mink” from Clinique. Very neutral but there are two shades in one compact and i apply the darker shade to my eye lid crease.
Gail the Goldfish
Same. It’s been my go-to for years. I’ve got palettes people have gifted me over the years, but keep coming back to this.
Anon
For the smoky palette, use it for a night out. For a day time look, use a light color all over, then add a very slightly darker color in the crease. Use a windshield wiper motion to apply shadow in the crease. It’s important to use a brush with a smaller, more pointy head for the second color.
If you want to add a third color you can go up one shade and use a small brush to add darker shadow above the lash line. You can use the dregs of the darker shadow on the brush to go under the lower lash line, but for me that’s strictly a going-out look. (Or to add definition to my eyes if I’m doing a speaking gig)
Anon
I usually do a two-tone eyeshadow everyday. I apply a very light pinkish color to the whole lid, from the browline down to the lashline (most commonly for this I use Anastasia Beverly Hills Baby Cakes).
Then, I take a darker color, usually either a dark plum or a dark navy, and put it on the flat side of the shadow brush, then tap off the excess. Then I close my eye and put the brush, shadow side up, into the crease and then open my eye (so like the brush is now stuck into the crease) then I just go back and forth right there from like mid-eye all the way out to the outer edge of my eye. It usually comes out pretty evenly like this. I find palettes are good for usually having a light and a dark shade that will go together, so try a few combos like this.
Also, I really feel like when you’re doing an eye look like this, you need to be filling in your brows, wearing eyeliner and wearing mascara. If you’re not wearing all of this, I think it tends to make the eye shadow more obvious and might lend to the “clown” look you’re describing.
Anonymous
That is a great tip. Thanks.
Anon
I wear subtle matte eyeshadow that makes the lid pop and the area above the browbone recede. It enhances my features (versus colorizing them). FWIW, I do think palettes are kind of a scam.
Worry about yourself
I recently got into wearing it just in the last year or so. For everyday wear, you want “nude” or “naked” palettes, but you really just need a few shades. The basic look is a light/medium brown for your lid and a slightly darker brown for your crease (using a small brush for precision). To add dimension, add a light color (or a bit of highlighter) to your inner corners and browbone, and if you’d like, a touch of dark brown or black in the outer corner of your eyes to make them look brighter.
You can buy these separately, or find, again, a small palette with those 4 shades, plus a few others you could occasionally play around with, but you don’t need to drop major coin on some 20-shade thing if you’re only gonna use 4 colors most of the time.
Anonymous
Love eyeshadow and wear ti everyday and have like 30(+) eyeshadow palettes. The naked smoky is not for everyday and in my opinion, one of the most difficult naked palettes to work with. The lighter browns or maybe greys could work for every day but it isn’t for the new to makeup. the formula is harder to work with too. I would return it and get the naked basics or naked reloaded and use that. As others have said, 2 colors, one allover lid and one in the crease is a normal day look. Makeup tutorials on youtube are an amazing resource (no matter your skill level) and will help give you application tips etc. If you are really looking to keep the palette you have, try searching for a tutorial on how to use it for a day look.
June
I love the naked smokey palette! My favorite shades are the matte ones on the right side and I use them for daytime looks. However, in the 12 seasons I’m a dark winter so the smokey shadows suit my coloring. By contrast, the Naked original palette does not flatter my coloring.
I’d look on pinterest for how to apply eye shadow for your eye shape. I have hooded eyes (my eye lid is not visible) so for a simple look I apply thin liner to upper lid, light shade (matte or shimmer) all over lid, bronzer or medium matte shadow above crease, and line top and bottom of my eye with a dark shade (matte or shimmer).
Anonome
Not what you asked, exactly, but I find the types of shades in the Naked palettes to be great for use as eyeliners.
Small Law Partner
I guess I wear eyeshadow more than most! I have all colors – browns, grey/black, metallics, greens, blues, purples, pinks. I use 4 colors usually. I first cover my entire lid and up to brow bone with concealer and set with powder. I use the darkest shade on the outside corners-middle of lid, a lighter color on the inside corner to the middle a highlight shade up to my brow bone, and white pearly shadow on the outer 1/3 of the under eye and on the inner corners. Today I did a deep burgundy as the dark color, bright fushia as the lighter color, and a matte baby pink for my highlight shadow.
Anonymous
Can someone explain trunk or treat to me? I live in a dense suburban neighborhood like Clarendon or Hoboken, so it is very trick-or-treat-able. I am not understanding why people are also having trunk or treats in parking lots (in addition to normal Halloween). I’ve been sitting these out since we are already so busy.
Anonymous
We don’t go as we also have a safe residential area. From what I’ve heard, they are great for children with disabilities who may struggle with door to door trick or treating, or if their parents or grandparents have mobility issues and cannot take them door to door, or if their residential area isn’t safe or suitable for door to door trick or treating.
Z
Yes, I volunteer for Trunk or Treat for an org in my city. They are very popular as my city isn’t exactly known for being safe. It’s an easy way for kids to go trick or treating in a safe enclosed area. There’s usually other activities like lawn games, music, and food.
coffee
I always understood it to be a safety thing — walking around your church parking lot instead of along busy roads where someone could snatch your kid or he gets hit by a car. But idk don’t have kids!
FSAaaaaah
It’s a way for a community to gather and celebrate Halloween together when they might not necessarily live close by, which is why you commonly see it with churches. It’s just like a fall festival or Halloween carnival or something. And this way, the kids feel like they get the “trick or treat” experience, if they’re not quite old enough to go out on Halloween night. Also some people have fun decorating their cars and getting really into it.
Emily
My apartment complex does a trunk-or-treat thing because you can’t really trick-or-treat around an apartment complex. I think it’s just a way to make the residents interact with each other.
Anon
Because (i) it’s fun for some people to decorate their cars, (ii) some folks may want to prolong the Halloween season with additional activities, (iii) not everybody lives in a trick or treatable neighborhood, (iv) it may be easier to manage for small kids. Next.
anon
I think there’s also an element of glossing over the spooky/otherworldly/pagan, etc elements of Halloween and re-framing the holiday within the confines that the church and its attendees find palatable.
That was certainly the case at my church (when I attended). It was a fall festival with more emphasis on harvest and fall than ghosts and ghouls.
Never too many shoes...
I have literally never heard of this. Maybe it is not a thing here.
Anonymous
Big in farming communities near me.
Yes
+1, Trunk or Treat is big in rural communities where houses are not within walking distance of each other. Trick or treating is not as fun when you have to load little fellas back into carseats in between every house.
Anon
That makes sense. I can’t imagine that farming communities would be great for trick or treating.
Anonymous
OP here — this is one of the situations where it makes a lot of sense to me. It seems like an extra grownup task in an area where there are houses on .15 acre lots and it’s a safe walkable area with streetlights. I could also see schools or apartments or nursing homes or daycares doing them, but we’ve been voluntold to do 2 (one local church, one local community organization). My kids are school aged and I think they are seeing this as an easy candy grab that I’m being healthist about (not really, it’s more “Mommy works and doesn’t need something else right now that’s not strictly mandatory”).
Anonymous
What do you mean by ‘voluntold’? I posted above, also in a city and our church does one but I just told my kids that one night of trick or treating was enough so they could do door to door in our neighborhood OR the trunk or treat but not both.
Never too many shoes...
Ah, ok, now that makes sense!
annienomous
Yep! My husband’s family hosted an event like this way back in the 80s. All the neighbors lived about a mile apart each and so would gather at my in law’s house for a party, all the adults would bring their candy and lawn chairs and the kids would go around the concrete pad/basketball court to collect their candy.
Anonymous
I’m pretty Scrooge-like about Halloween and I think this is a great idea. Please keep kids in one brightly-lit, enclosed place and not darting through dark suburban-bordering-on-rural neighborhoods at dusk/night.
Idk if it’s like this everywhere, but in my neighborhood they start at like 4 pm. I’m not leaving work early to give out candy, and I can’t leave candy sitting outside all day (I’m mostly concerned about bugs, but we also have some wildlife and free roaming neighborhood pets (don’t get me started) that probably shouldn’t eat Snickers). They’re supposed to be finished by 6, but there are always some stragglers even by the time I get home around 7. And I swear these kids are more aggressive than panhandlers. They have literally followed my car into my garage and asked me for candy while I’m still in the car. Like no I don’t have candy in my car? Where are your parents? Get out of my garage/off my lawn!
Lady, get a grip
You sounds like a delight.
Anon
That is unnecessary. Kids shouldn’t be following people into the garage to ask for candy. A 4 pm start time means that adults have to leave work by 3 or so, and assumes that there’s a mother’s hours or stay at home parent to hand out candy.
We were taught that not all adults give out candy and to just move on.
Anon
…and grown women shouldn’t be ranting about little kids. If somebody is Scrooge-like about a harmless holiday, they don’t sound super fun to be around.
Anon
You’re awfully invested in this. Try being more fun yourself.
Anon
Lol k
Anon
I’m with you.
all about eevee
…wow. You seem intense.
Anon
Oh girl that’s awful. I’m sorry. Hang in there!
Anonymous
Also, in my area it’s partly for the Trunk-ers. People that don’t get a lot of trick or treaters but love going all out. Older church goers and the like.
In our trunk or treats, it’s like 2-4pm in a weekend. Lots of <5 year olds. Lots of photo pops.
anon
I like in a high-rise condo complex and I’d love to do this just bc I don’t otherwise get to do fun Halloween kid stuff (as a single lady who loves kiddos).
Anony
We do this in Maine because apart from a handful of actual ‘neighborhoods’, most houses are fairly spread out. We have a lot of rural towns so each (or a combination of 2-3 towns) will host the event so that kids can actually trick or treat and parents/adults can give out candy. The road I grew up on had approx. 1 house per mile so there was no walking around on Halloween. Mom would load us up and drive us to relatives’ houses then that was it (she hates Halloween). I imagine if these events had been around back in the 80’s, we would have attended.
TH
I live in a townhome neighborhood with lots of stairs. We do it to build community and so people who can’t handle a lot of steps have a fun way to trick-or-treat. We had lawn games for kids and adults (cornhole, et.), a parade, and some attendees volunteered adult beverages rather than candy. Win-win for families and child-free folks too. Great way to meet people.
FSAaaaaah
Alright, ladies, it’s getting to be that time: how are we using up our Healthcare FSAs before the end of the year? I have about $1000 I need to spend, having spent $1000 in the year up to this point… note to self, lower contributions next year!
Telco Lady JD
My husband has about the same amount in his….we’re getting him new glasses, and maybe prescription sunglasses, too.
Walnut
Clean out your medicine cabinet and pick up fresh OTC meds. If you have any prescription meds, can you use a mail in pharmacy for a three month supply? If you do sinus rinses, picking up a new bottle can make the list. Are you stocked on first aid kits? How about for your vehicles or in any sort of emergency prep go bag?
KC
Glasses/contacts (and lens solution) and sunscreen come to mind. But browsing the FSA eligibility list may provide more options!
Anon
I know someone who uses it for massages but I don’t know if that’s entirely legit.
anon
It is if your doctor can Rx it for you. I have the Rx (it took chest pain at 34, which was evidently was musculo-skeletal and not cardiac, thank god, to get the Rx) so in theory I can have 1 massage 2x/month on my FSA.
Anon
Sure it is. Medical massage is definitely a thing.
anon in brooklyn
Lots of sunscreens are eligible! I always get the big supergoop pump bottle from FSAstore.com
lsw
Prescription sunglasses, if they are something you use. I can’t live without mine.
You can get some nice, higher quality sunscreens too.
I also browsed the FSA store online for ideas. I like arch support inserts for my shoes so I bought like five pairs.
Anonymous
Good ice packs for those inevitable sprained ankles and sore shoulders.
Anonymous
I believe you have until 3/31/2020 to use this year up.
nona
Depends on how your plan is structured. While plans call allow the rollover now, I don’t know that it’s automatically available with all administrators/plans.
GCG
That’s likely the filing date. Typically you have to have incurred the charges by 12/31/2019.
Anon
I learned about this online store this year: https://fsastore.com/. Everything they sell is FSA approved!
Anon
It’s also a bit expensive. Great idea for a store, though.
Anonymous
If you need shoe inserts, particularly if you need orthotics for running, you can use your FSA for that.
lemon
I’m definitely into these longer, just slightly oversized jackets and toppers lately, with slim black pants and a black shell. It’s become one of my uniform combinations.
lemon
Speaking of, do you guys like this? It’s out of my color comfort zone but thought it’d be fun for fall, but I’m undecided. It’s so cheap I may keep it anyway?
https://www.nordstromrack.com/shop/product/3015142/melloday-notch-collar-tweed-topper?color=HOT%20PINK
Abby
I think it’s a little bright for me in the office, but if mad respect if you can pull this off!
Anon
From these comments I was expecting neon orange or something. This is a perfectly fine color to wear to work.
Ms B
From these comments I was expecting neon orange or something. This is a perfectly fine color to wear to work.
Laura B
I really like it, esp with the black pants/black shell combo.
Anon
I will be the voice of dissent and say that it looks a bit droopy and shabby. I think this style needs to look a little sharper in order not to read as basically a sad bathrobe.
GCG
+1
The Beagle has Landed
+1
Anon
I like the column of color you describe – black pants, black shell. I do it with gray and navy too. It makes getting dressed so easy, no matter what you choose for your “third piece” – blazer, cardigan, whatever.
Anonymous
I come from a family of runners. I had a tough injury last year around the same time I moved across the country and had a break up, and I basically stopped working out. As a result, I’ve gone up a size. I’m ok with the size and love my new shape (I have some curves for the first time ever!) But would like to tone and tighten up. Is there any way to work out and eat better without losing curves? Or is it one or the other?
Emily
ooo there’s a book called “strong curves” that’s all about that
Z
Weight training.
Anonymous
I have to laugh at this question because the majority of women put a lot of effort into eating better and working out without losing weight (“curves”). I do think that focusing on lifting and HIIT exercises can help you stay more muscled than distance running, but your body is going to do what your body does.
anon
You might go back to your previous body shape, or the default may have changed as you got older. You just have to try it out.
Ribena
Try barre? It’s a bit like Pilates but slightly ballet inspired so it’s about making your muscles longer and making you a bit stronger and stretchier. I love it and feel tired afterwards in a totally different way than after a 2 hr run.
Lift
Lift weights. Body composition is mostly food though (abs are made in the kitchen and all that).
Anonymous
How did you work and work/life balance change when you were elevated to junior (income) partner vs. a senior associate?
anon for this
I think it’s highly dependent on your firm. At mine (small firm in the South), nothing changed about my work load or work/life balance. It was really just a title bump and, apparently, an excuse for the senior partners to stop giving me an annual raise.
RR
This, at a big law firm in the Midwest. I will add that I did feel slightly more empowered to give myself flexibility, which helped a lot.
Anonnona
How much are you all paying for retinoids? My derm prescribed a couple of things for some acne, including tretinoin, but my pharmacy quoted me at $397 and $234 per month. Is that what people pay for these or am I doing this wrong? FWIW, I have a high deductible insurance plan.
Cbara
How your doctor prescribes the med may make a difference. If they say it’s for wrinkles insurance may not cover it.But they may if your doctor says it’s for acne. Also ask your doctor’s office to do a prior authorization that might help too. BTW Differin is a retinoid that used to be prescription and is now over the counter. It’s not that expensive.
Z
I think my tube of tretinoin was about $80 after insurance.
Anonymous
Is this for the generic? That seems high. Try GoodRx.
pugsnbourbon
I have a high-deductible plan as well and my tube of generic tretinoin was $143. A single tube lasts me for most of the year, so I’m not sure what formulation your derm has you on. I’d call to check.
Anonymous
You can comparison shop the pharmacy price — GoodRx — or look for discounts from organizations you belong to — AAA or AARP.
Anonymous
Depends on the type. You can get generic tretinoin for less than that. You derm might have written the script as a name brand and the pharmacy isn’t subbing for generic (or it’s a stronger strength than there is generic for, maybe?)–ask the pharmacist.
Anonymous
I will say I pay close to $200 for several of my acne meds, after insurance and with a discount. Some of them are just crazy expensive (I use Aczone and Tazorac, I don’t remember which is the super expensive one)
anne-on
This is why I do Curology. It was MUCH cheaper than a scrip for a retinoid and I like that they can also add in other things that are beneficial (like niacinimide) and you still have an RN to ask questions of/adjust your prescription. I’ve modified my ‘formula’ about 3-4 times now and the RN has been super helpful.
Sunshine
+1 to Curology.
Anonymous
My tretonoin prescription is ridiculously expensive, but it’s based on my insurance, not the RX necessarily.
Anon
Ignore the tretinoin prescription from the doc and go with Curology. It’s $35 per month.
Eh
When I tried to do this, they didn’t have it in my mid-size city. Unless they’ve changed, might watch out for that.
Anon
They ship. I don’t understand what you mean by they didn’t have it. It’s all online.
Is it Friday yet?
It’s telemedicine, so there are certain states they’re not currently permitted to ship into. Last time I checked, I couldn’t get it in my state, but it looks like it’s since been added.
Anonymous
$20/month through Curology. The $20 buys me an online consult whenever I want and however often I want (based on photos, which I imagine is a limitation but I honestly do not have any skin problems), and a supply of a custom compounded cream that has a mix of tretinoin, azaleic acid, and clyndamicin. 10/10 I love this service.
Anonymous
I am also using Curology, after recommendations I saw here. I love it. It’s much cheaper than derm office visit costs + cost of a Retin-A prescription (my problem is aging skin, not acne, so there’s no way my insurance would kick in). The blend I got is not just helping my wrinkles but is fading a couple of my dark spots and helping smooth out some old acne scars I thought were going to be permanently etched on my face. I am on the “every other month” plan, using the lotion 2x per week and I’m really happy with the cost, customer support and the results.
Anon
I use curology and pay $40 every other month.
Anon
I get Retin-A from a pharmacy in Canada without a prescription for $15. It ships to me in the USA.
Anonnona
Thank you all for this information. I live in a tiny place, but I will check out my Curology options and call my derm.
My acne isn’t that bad so I will probably skip the acne specific one. I don’t really need the tretinoin either, but figured it couldn’t hurt (except I guess my wallet).
Anon
I ultimately had to switch to retinaldehyde (my skin is very sensitive and reactive). I haven’t priced out how long it lasts, but it feels expensive since it’s not covered by insurance.
Anonome
Your insurance may nitpick over the percentage (0.025, 0.050, or 0.10) or the formula (cream or gel). Talk to your derm office’s staff about this, they will have the experience to code it properly.
I pay $10 per tube for generic 0.050 cream.
Small Law Partner
I pay $10 for generic 0.1% cream, 45g tube. Lasts a bit less than a year. My PCP does the Rx, not a derm.
Annony
The nurse practitioner at my derm’s office wrote me a prescription for generic tretinoin and recommended that I have the compounding pharmacy fill it. They made me a cream and it was $15.
Halloween Costume Ideas
Here’s what I hope is a fun topic/request . . .
Disclaimer: I love Halloween. Last year I didn’t have any parties to go to, but this year I do. Yay! I am crowdsourcing ideas before I recycle one of my old costume ideas. I like punny costumes that I can create myself. In the past I have been: a spelling bee, the Grapes of Wrath, an unhappy camper, party cloudy with a chance of showers, deviled egg, and a crayon.
I am thinking about recycling Grapes of Wrath because it really tickled me, but am open to new ideas. Help me out Hive!
Anon.
My favorite punny costume: Smarty Pants. Dress nerd chic, tape smarties candies all over your pants. Bonus points because you now have a snack for later in the evening.
Anon 2.0
Any chance you have a partner/friend who will dress up with you? I once saw someone dress us as “Roe v. Wade”. One person had an oar and one person rainboot type shoes.
pugsnbourbon
Brb gotta go borrow an oar …
anon
Another punny pair costume idea: upper and lower GI – camo pants and boots plus a regular shirt for one half, and jeans with a camo shirt for the other.
Anonymous
I have not yet found the occasion to dress either of my toddlers as a rapscallion or a ragamuffin, so please feel free to steal one of those.
Never too many shoes...
One of my friends was once a serial killer. Black outfit and some slightly scary makeup…and a box of fruit loops on a string around his neck.
HFB
No suggestions but I’m curious how you did party cloudy w a chance of showers?
OP
I bought a light blue sweatsuit, fastened white clouds out of cotton onto the sweats, and carried around a spray bottle. When people asked me what I was, I said, “Partly cloudy with a chance of showers,” while I squirted the water up to simulate rain. Annoying to others? Absolutely. Entertaining for me? Absolutely. :)
Anon Chi
Someone at my college went as a Freudian slip.
Ms B
I was a Freudian slip in college and in law school.
January
I did this once. Had to spend the whole night explaining my costume to people. Still love the idea, though.
Vicky Austin
How did you all do that? Wear an actual slip?
Ms B
I got the longest white slip I could buy from Macy’s, which back then was about 36 inches long, and taped pictures of Freud copied from encyclopedias all over it (this was pre-internet; now I would just print some off). I wore the decorated slip over a tube top and some shorts with the waist of the slip hitting at the top of the tube top and carried a cigar around with me. Cheap and easy (the costume, not me)!
Anon
I went as a homemade Christmas tree in college. I first made a hoop structure using untwisted wire hangers – a series of larger and larger rings (ala a graduated hoop skirt) starting around my chest and going to the largest hoop at my feet. I hooked them together like overalls using duct tape. I bought cheap green felt and cut a conical shape to cover the hoops. Then I decorated myself using cheap garland and Christmas ornaments (note: do not use glass as they do fall off, and a barefoot “s1utty pippi longstocking” complained about me). I suspended a star above my head using a hairband and more wire.
Rainbow Hair
Pot head! Get one of those mini pots and glue it to a headband, maybe add leaves, maybe wear a tie dyed shirt…
anon
Chicken cordon blue. Tie a rubber chicken around an old telephone cord, wear a blue shirt.
Anonome
Devil with a blue dress on. Recycled bridesmaid’s dress, headband with horns.
OP
Thanks everyone!!
Anon
The butler did it – dressed as a butler, and with various “clues” on your person.
Wife of Bath – dressing gown, shower cap and bouquet.
Some like it hot – crossdressing with chili accents.
Cat on a hot tin roof – cat ears, metallic tights and peplum, flame pattern socks
Dem debate
Let’s talk debate! I thought it was a really interesting night. I’ve been struggling to choose between Warren and Buttigieg and am leaning toward Mayor Pete after last night’s performance. His pragmatic idealism really speaks to me, and he’s one of the only candidates I can picture performing well on a stage with Trump in the general election.
Anonymous
I used to roll my eyes at Warren’s candidacy but I am increasingly impressed by her. She keeps her cool in debates which will be key against the Orange One and his propensity for inflammatory statements.
Anon
Mayor Pete is also my favorite and I thought he did great last night. Klobuchar also came off well with reasoned/practical plans. I thought Harris was trying too hard to get a breakthrough moment similar to her race exchange with Biden in an earlier debate. Her calling out Warren this time with the split screen didn’t work at all (Warren basically brushed her off as unworthy of a response). It’s about time she and Booker dropped out. Yang had the best direct answers and made the most sense to me (especially his response to the first impeachment question & his questioning of Warren’s wealth tax) and it’s annoying that he doesn’t get enough press/attention. Everyone I talked to this morning (in my midwest swing state) also agreed with everything Yang had to say and that Mayor Pete did really well. Biden and Bernie looked tired by halfway and were showing their age.
Z
IDK I thought Bernie looked pretty good.
I don’t like Yang.. he just seems really cocky. I also am entirely opposed to another businessman, even if Yang is infinitely more capable than Trump.
Anonymous
Impressed by Bernie. If I were that old and had a heart attack, I’d have just hung it up and moved to a beach for the rest of my life. He doesn’t look any worse for it.
Anon
I will never be impressed by Bernie. He’s a spoiler and so are his base.
Anonymous
At least he doesn’t lie: your taxes will go up.
Anonymous
This is all so interesting. To me Yang is a no hoper and Kobluchar isn’t working at all.
Anon
I’m the OP of this comment. I should clarify that I agree that, at this point, Yang doesn’t really have a chance. I just think that it’s too bad that the press and the party didn’t support him earlier. He really made the most sense to me and many others I talked to this morning.
anon
I’d really like Yang for a cabinet position, he likes his stuff, but is not an all-rounder. I was disappointed by Booker, he tried to be the unifying candidate all night and nothing more.
anon
That was supposed to say he KNOWS his stuff, obviously…
Anonymous
Agree. I will say though I am really impressed by Booker. He’s not my pick this round but I hope he runs again (Mayor Pete too!)
Anon
I think he’s prime veep material this round.
Anonymous
Oh interesting I was the opposite! I’ve always like Mayor Pete but Warren really sold me last night.
Leatty
I really liked Buttigieg last night. Warren appeals to me too, but I’m concerned about her ability to win against Trump.
On a totally superficial note, did anyone else notice how bouncy Klobuchar’s hair was last night? Perhaps it was because she nodded/shook her head so much, but I was so distracted by the right side of her hair bouncing up and down while she talked.
Anonymous
Nope. And just because you have a sexist judgy thought about a female politicians appearance doesn’t mean you need to share it.
Leatty
Perhaps you can shed some light on why you think my comment about her hair is sexist? I certainly did not intend it as a sexist comment; rather, a shallow observation about her hair that had nothing to do with her knowledge, skills, or abilities.
Nope
That’s why it’s sexist– because it has nothing to do with her knowledge, skills, or abilities. Until we are all devoting equal time to superficial observations about male candidates (spoiler alert: never), we can’t be attributing value to the female candidates’ hair and clothes either.
Leatty
Thank you for explaining. I apologize if anyone found my comment offensive.
Anon
I noticed her hair too, but more in a she-is-my-hair-idol kinda way.
I don’t think it’s sexist to comment about appearance on a site that is dedicated to corporate fashion. You can shut down the policing for today, thanks.
Anon
Also, for what it’s worth, I was really into Yang’s MATH lapel pin, and now that SNL has parodied Biden’s teeth, I always notice how white and shiny they are.
Anon.
I hear you – and I had a gut reaction similar to yours – and yet, on second thought I’d argue that we do make plenty of comments about physical attributes of male candidates. Trump is routinely ridiculed for his skin tone and hair. (And no I don’t like him, nor am I saying he shouldn’t be ridiculed. Just – he is)
Anonymous
Why didn’t you make the same comment in response to the post mentioning the “Orange One?”
anon
Repeat after me: reverse sexism is not a thing
GCG
I’d agree with the comments that there are comments on the men’s appearances. I heard plenty of critiques of Steyer’s tie last night as an example.
Anonymous
I agree — I was reading the WSJ this morning and some EU politician (female) was wearing a great greenish dress with some good necklaces. I would have loved to know which brand at least for the dress, but it’s not W.
Someone is having a good hair day. I remember Dan Rostenkowski’s [bad] hair — had he had a good hair day, I bet it would have been commented on. I can also remember when Rudy Giuliani gave up his horrible combover and that getting discussed, almost with relief.
Anonymous
I think you mean Jim Trafficant’s hair.
Except that wasn’t his hair, in the sense that he grew it; I think it was his “hair” in the sense that it was something he purchased (and should have asked for a refund for).
Anon
I don’t think Biden can think quickly enough and be nimble enough to go all the way. He defaults to being defensive and unconvincing, which is a bad combo. Don’t care for Mayor Pete (I like a good intellectual, but being mayor of South Bend hardly counts as experience and I don’t like politicians with elite backgrounds who play up the “aw shucks” card whenever it’s convenient). I haven’t decided on my top candidate, but most likely Warren. She’s ahead in the polls, has some great policies that I fully support, and I don’t think we’ve seen all that she has to offer.
Anon
While the study was done with governors and not mayors, it’s been shown that those with executive experience (aka governors) are more likely to be elected President than those with just legislative experience (representatives and senators).
I agree that mayor of south bend to president is a big jump, but he does have executive experience
Ellen
Booo de Judge! and Boooo de Warren! I would endorse Biden, as he has experience with Obama and I think he enjoys Jack Daniels. Dad will not vote for a Democrat, but NY will go democrat, he says so we might as well go along with Biden since he has very clean teeth also. YAY!!!!
Anon
Also, if anyone is still skeptical about the “Pocahontas” “scandal,” the Boston Globe (not exactly liberal propaganda) did a deep investigation and concluded that Warren’s self-reported ethnicity was never a factor in any of her professional positions. Check it out for all the details.
Anon
LOL, the Boston Globe is about as liberal as it gets.
Jersey Strong
IDK — Rutgers Law grads don’t get hired as tenure-track law professors. Much less at Harvard.
Anonymous
FWIW, I’m a big law partner in a specialty subject area. My law school is T25 in a good year and I’ve been told that it doesn’t matter how much I publish, I’d never get anything more than an adjunct gig (and not at anyplace T15; probably not T25 unless the current adjunct died mid-semester).
Anonymous
If she was hired for any diversity reason, I think it was much more likely that it was because she is a woman. Academia is still male dominated but it was much more male dominated even 10-20 years ago.
Anon
Not now, but academic hiring was generally a lot less competitive a generation ago. My mom went to good schools but got a tenure track job in her final year of PhD, no postdoc necessary. That’s unheard of now in most fields, including hers. It doesn’t matter if you’re a future Nobel Laureate, you simply aren’t competitive for TT jobs at research institutions without a postdoc and that just wasn’t true in the 70s/80s.
Batgirl
Also, have you noticed how insanely smart she is? She certainly seems like Harvard material!
Anonymous
I don’t think she is insanely smart. I think she’s smart, but probably not any smarter than the smart people I know in person. And I think she comes across as a bit tone-deaf, which is not smart.
Anon
Does it bother anyone else that Buttigieg gets called by his title when none of the female candidates get called by theirs in popular discussions? On the one hand, it just reminds me why I don’t like him because I don’t find being mayor of a small city sufficient training to be president (and I really want our next president to know what they are doing). On the other hand, it just reminds me how women are so often dismissed and minimized.
Anonymous
Nope. He’s chosen mayor Pete as his call name because no one can pronounce Buttigieg. If Warren wanted to be Senator Liz she could easily make the happen. Booker isn’t casually referred to as Senator Booker.
anon
The other men aren’t called by their titles either. I don’t think this is about gender, and I don’t think we should make it into gender. It’s just a quirk of his title/last name.
Jeffiner
I thought they call him Mayor Pete because everyone is afraid to pronounce Buttigieg.
Anon
Lol I’m sorry but this is hilarious. I also have no idea how to pronounce it and just feel that it would just encourage unsavory jokes relating his last name to his…partnership status.
Anonymous
This is my guess. Everyone can pronounce Mayor. And there is only one mayor running, so it’s not murky like Senator, where it applies to most of them.
Anon
Buddha Judge
That’s how i do it and it’s close enough.
I don’t mind pronouncing it but have a hard time spelling it.
Senior Attorney
I was at a Mayor Pete fundraiser last week and people were wearing hats that said BOOT EDGE EDGE.
anon
I was wondering about that also – I thought it was more because his last name is difficult to pronounce and spell.
Anonymous
I’m not sure if he is married or partnered, but this is why women routinely change their names :)
Anon
What? All women are born with unusual names and they all marry smiths or Jones?
No, that is not why women change their names. I will give you a clue – it starts with p and ends with atriarchy.
Anon
His husband took Buttigieg when they got married!
Anon
Eh, I chose to change my last name because it was super hard to spell and say and my husbands is something like Smith. Don’t think I would have convinced my husband to take my name in any event, but I definitely would have kept my own name if it weren’t such a clunker. I have at least a couple friends in the same boat. So yeah…it is a big factor for some women.
Anonymous
If I were a guy, I would have not have taken that name. Or I could be a jerk and hyphenate if someone made a fuss about it.
Among the subsidiary reasons for not changing my name when I got married: no one can spell husband’s last name. And when people see it written out, they struggle to pronounce it.
Anonymous
Plus one. I have a great simple, easy to pronounce but not super common last name and it was a huge factor in keeping it versus taking my husband’s “less attractive to me” surname
Never too many shoes...
I 100% changed my name when I got married from long and difficult Greek one to my husband’s 7 letter one and it had nothing to do with the patriarchy and everything to do with expediency.
Anonymous
I haven’t noticed that although I agree with your general observation about the tendency to dismiss women.
To me, it seems like people are more apt to use first names (Bernie) or say Senator Warren or Mayor Pete, though not Mayor Buttigieg…maybe bc people cannot pronounce it?
anon
I don’t see Biden, Bernie or Booker called by their office, either. I think Mayor Pete is a branding decision, avoiding having to teach people how to pronounce Buttigieg, playing on Pete’s likability, and reminding everyone that he holds an office.
anon
On the other hand, I liked that the debate moderators were very consistent addressing everyone by their office.
nutella
This was true when I worked at a very famous newspaper and I assume is true for the debate moderators, but we would tell people how they would be referred to in the story and they get to approve or choose something else (while still accurate). For example, Hillary Clinton chose to be referred to as Mrs. Clinton in the NYT instead of Secretary Clinton. Likewise, she chose her campaign logos to emphasize “Hillary” over her last name. I’m sure that decision had a lot to do with her husband formerly having the name (likewise, why Jeb Bush was “Jeb!” instead of “Bush 2016”), but I have noticed it is common for women (even in my local elections) to campaign by their first names.
GCG
I also have to wonder if this is partially a strategy by the other candidates to remind people that his experience is being a mayor. There were a couple times where other candidates also referred to him as Mayor Buttigieg.
Anonymous
I only caught part but it must have been an off couple of questions- I thought Warren didn’t do well at all. I listened from 8-8:45 or so, through all the Medicare for all and “How big a criminal is Trump?” Questions.
I like Warren, but I’m not where she struggles. I didn’t hear anything she said that (to me) will win over the rural/suburban middle class voters. She came off as (once again) a lofty academic.
Like I said, I like her. But I’m a wealthy democratic well educated New England woman. She doesn’t need more of me ;).
anonshmanon
the medicare for all part was right at the beginning, I think. That was some dodging she did there, not sure why she isn’t as clear as Bernie on the tax increases. She got better later, though.
Anon
I like Warren but I LOVE Pete. He’s got my vote, for sure.
Sadly didn’t get to watch the debate last night but I’ve been reading about it all morning and looking forward to watching clips once I get home.
Anon
Great academic ideas from some/many of them, but they’re unelectable with the exception of maybe Biden. Things aren’t that bad, people aren’t looking for radical changes. And even though they won’t be able to deliver radical changes, if you run on a radical/socialist platform, people in the state that need to flip (ie Rust Belt) ignore you right off the bat.
Anon
There’s no proof of any kind that they’re unelectable or that Biden IS electable. He’s tanking in the polls and doesn’t seem to have what it takes (nor does he have any ideas).
Anon
Right but at least he isn’t calling for radical changes, which are unnecessary.
Anonymous
No one is calling for radical changes. Wanting everyone, not just rich people, to access healthcare is not radical.
Anon
This. The economy is doing pretty well, unemployment is very low. I loathe trump and want him out but most voters aren’t looking for a radical change. If anything, I think Trump has given people an appetite for boring.
anon
But this is what’s so frustrating. It’s only boring if you are not paying attention and/or are unconcerned with anything or anyone outside your short-term, immediate bubble.
Anon
He’s tanking in primary polls of solidly Dem voters. He’s still the candidate doing the best vs Trump in polls of all the hypothetical general election matchups, which is what matters for winning the WH. (Not a huge Biden fan, just stating facts.)
Anonymous
I don’t agree that they are all unelectable but I do agree that too many radical sounding ideas may put off a large portion of the electorate who would prefer to stick with the status quo rather than live in a socialist country (or so they would be told by the right…). So as much as I agree with some of the far left candidates in theory, I favor the more moderate approach to get there that candidates like Buttigieg and Klobuchar are putting forward.
Anon
I’m all over this thread today, but I think there are certain issues that should be dropped immediately (like free health care for undocumented immigrants – that is just such an unpopular idea that will drive away moderates). Others, like expanding health care access and cutting drug prices, have much more bipartisan support and should be handled carefully.
anon
Completely disagree, big changes are needed in my opinion. But that’s why everyone gets a vote, right?
Anon
I agree that big changes are needed, but that some of what we consider “big” changes are actually so, so moderate (like taxing Amazon or extending a Medicare buy-in to younger people). None of what any of the progressive candidates are proposing is ACTUALLY radical at all, although of course some people will cry “communism!!!1” at every incremental step towards any kind of justice and fairness.
Anon
So then if they’re such moderate changes, Warren and co need to stop portraying them as — burn it all down and start over.
Anon
3.7% unemployment rate. I don’t think we need big changes. And no I’m not a white person — I’m a brown Muslim who thinks things are fine. I’d like a new prez but not one who upsets the apple cart.
Anon
I’m politically 100% opposed to him but happy to see Bernie looked good last night. Pete – eh – he comes across like an eager young chief of staff or one of million other young people who worked for Obama. I don’t see a winner in this group — sad to say it as I don’t want a DJT win but I don’t see any of these people winning back the necessary states which are all fairly “traditional.” I don’t see Ohio or Pa being ok with a candidate who even talks gun buybacks — background checks sure, but anything beyond that — I’m thinking no.
anon
I, sadly, agree with most of this. I truly don’t think anyone with any of the ideas that I like can win in the general unless the economy takes a pretty serious dip. Makes me really angry if I think about it too long.
Anon
Obama was a nobody too at the debates and I didn’t think he could make it based on his primaries performance… (solid Obama voter and now-huge fan here).
Anon
I totally get that healthcare is a cluster in this country and that it needs to be addressed ASAP. I’m happy to hear about it because it’s a super pressing issue.
However, there are so many other pressing issues that we hardly get to hear about. Admittedly, foreign policy is a big thing for me personally but it was kind of shocking that such a long debate hardly scratched the surface!
Anon
Considering the literal clusterf*ck in Syria (thanks to Trump and only Trump), I agree.
Anon
But most people can’t point to Syria on a map and don’t know what a Kurd is. So I don’t think it matters for debate purposes — people vote thinking about their own economy, healthcare etc. not about Syria.
Anon
Lots of people have loved ones in the military and vote accordingly.
You may not care about the geopolitics of the Middle East but you care if your child/sibling/friend/whomever is getting deployed!
As an aside, this is one of the many reasons I love Pete’s national service plan
Anon
As a moderate, my ideal ticket is still Biden-Harris, but I will vote for any democrat ticket, so it doesn’t matter.
My good friend who I always text with during the debates is slightly left of me and he would prefer a Warren-Buttigieg ticket.
Ps do we call him mayor Pete because we can’t spell his name? I’m not sure I got it right.
Anon
I’d vote for a Biden with anybody ticket. I can’t see myself voting for any of the rest of these people if they were at the top of the ticket.
Anon
You’d really vote for trump?
Anon
If it’s Biden (or Harris; Beto — both totally unlikely) then I’d vote for them. If it’s Warren or Sanders — then I’d vote Trump or just wouldn’t bother voting while living in a purple state.
anon
Because you have not offered your reasons, I am not sure what to say to ask you to change your mind. Are you concerned by Trump’s Ukraine dealings (and have you read the transcript memo & the whistleblower complaint for yourself — I highly recommend doing so and they are not long)? Are you concerned about tax fraud issues (see propublica story today)? Do you think it’s ok for a president to be profiting from his foreign policy choices? Please please please vote for the dem candidate.
Anonymous
Re Anon at 12:30PM, I don’t agree with that decision, but I don’t think you are alone in that approach, which is why I think Dems need to support a more moderate candidate than Sanders or Warren (much as I like Warren). My vote is for Mayor Pete.
Anon
I don’t know why people are continuously shocked to hear this. Did the last election teach us nothing?
Just because you would willingly vote for anyone over trump doesn’t mean the rest of Americans will. Ignoring that fact and pretending like everyone who is a “good” person will just “do the right thing” and vote for the non-trump candidate is going to lead to four more years of the Cheeto.
FWIW I will vote for anyone the dems put up. But I know lots and lots of people who won’t. And they aren’t necessarily the people you’d expect
Anon
I asked would you really vote for Trump because I wanted to hear the answer. I think we would all do well to remember that just because some of us are in a liberal bubble (I mean, I live in Berkeley) doesn’t mean we represent all potential democratic voters. I think a progressive candidate means Trump gets re-elected. That’s why I was asking.
The main criticism I have of my own party is about our ability to be pragmatic. The republicans are much better at this than we are.
Anon
Please just don’t vote if you’re going to vote for Trump. Unlike most election years, he’s not a “welp might as well be him, no difference to me” candidate. There is friction in Presidential election years always, but the things tend to swing back and forth around the middle. But the Republicans of the past weren’t Trump – who is basically committing outright open treason and stomping the Constitution in an effort to destabilize the entire democracy out of either sheer selfishness or complete ignorance (but why not both).
Ellen
Mayor Pete? Just b/c he runs a city in Indiana can make him president? Come on!!!! We had Dibalzio running NYC, and now he is out. I do not like Elizabeth Warren or Bernie (both to socialistic), and Amy Klobachar is to tempermental for me. Dad does not like Harris either, and nyet to Bookar. There is a cute woman from Hawaii, but this is not Hawaii, and you need to be more then cute to be President, especially for us women. If I had to pick a Democrat, I would go with Biden. He has expereince working under Obama and seems to be reasonable. He also has very clean teeth, which is a great testament to him at his age. Dad says they maybe fake. I wish Bloomberg would run. He would be pretty good.
Anonymous
I think I could actually wear this blazer without looking like a little kid playing dress-up.
Anonymous
I was thrifting this weekend and found a satin (well, probably not real satin) Chinese inspired coat at Goodwill in beautiful shape – my brother told me I looked like a waiter, but I loved it. It’s reversible, black on one side and red on the other, with the fabric loop closures (not sure what they’re called). I’m white. Is this cultural appropriation? I think it’s a beautiful jacket and would wear it with jeans and a black T.
Abby
I wouldn’t be offended (I’m Chinese), but it might be because your description of it helps a lot. I like that you appreciate my culture. If you purposely wore it while going out to eat Chinese food or walk around a China town, I’d give it more side eye because that seems more like using a costume, but for fashion purposes I say go for it. I love that Asian food (& culture/travel) is becoming more popular in America
Anon
That sounds lovely and appropriately “inspired” as opposed to looking like you’re dressing up (sounds like a satin red/black reversible coat with no discernable chinese markings – perfectly acceptable – and akin to early 20th century satin overcoats.
Anonymous
Wrap dresses are inspired by kimonos. But they are now ubiquitous.
Anonymous
Agree, I’m of Chinese heritage and I don’t think it’s cultural appropriation if you’re wearing it as a nice dressy article of clothing rather than a costume. If you want to steer even more clear of a Chinese-restaurant-waiter look, leave the frog buttons open and wear it with a scarf.
Anon
Nope, it’s fine. There is no culture anywhere in the world that is entirely static and free of the influence of other cultures. It’s a GOOD thing to exchange in cultural exchange, not some OMG crime.
Anon
*to engage in cultural exchange.
Anon
Well you’re, I assume intentionally to goad people, glossing over the harmful parts of cultural appropriation, but sure.
anon
iphone xr vs. iphone 11. which should i get? mostly i care about being able to take good pictures of my toddlers who won’t sit still for a picture and it being easy to use. i think i currently have a 6 or 7.
Z
The XR is perfectly capable, don’t think you need the 3 cameras on the 11 for that.
Anon
I have an XR and really like it. The camera is great and I don’t feel the need to upgrade.
Anon
I am in your shoes (I have a 7 and a toddler) and am getting the 11 this week. Wirecutter’s review is really good and helped me decide.
Anon
Note: just the regular 11
lsw
Following because I also want to upgrade my camera for toddler pics. Also, I misread that you have seven children and a toddler and for a moment I was sending up some prayers for you.
The original Scarlett
The cameras on the 11 pro are supposedly designed for exactly what you describe. I just ordered one as an upgrade from my 7. My theory is while I’m upgrading, I’ll let the latest thing and keep it for a while until there’s big improvements and it looks like the camera in the 11 is that big improvement.
anon
To those of you shopping in the 11 serious…note that the Pro is substantially SMALLER than the 11. It felt silly (and I nearly caved when I saw the total price w apple care and the like), but it was honestly worth $300 for me to get a smaller phone. I loved the purple 11 but I can actually hold the pro in my hand. TBF, I was jumping from an SE. I think the 11 MIGHT be bigger than the XR? Worth a triple check if you’re not buying in person.
anon
*in the 11 series (not serious)
Tiny Hands
This is good to know, because I’m ready for an update and have been dragging my feet because I have an SE and am so reluctant to get a big phone. Did you get it directly from Apple?
Anon
I went from an 8s to an XR and the jump in picture quality was huge (and I thought the 8 took great pics!) if you’re using it primarily for pics, I’d get the 11 because most of the major improvements are in the camera.
IC vs. W-2
We were just notified that my company is giving people in my specific role (100% commission driven) to convert our historically W-2 employment to independent contractor status for the coming year.
Who should I be talking to about what this means, pros/cons of each option? I have a financial planner and an accountant that I work with, though both are new relationships to me since June 1 this year. Or, do I need to get a lot more info before I can make a decision? This is totally new to me so I’m not even sure what questions to ask. FWIW, 99% of the benefits (insurance and otherwise run through my husband’s W-2 (and stable) job. Thanks!
Anonymous
Short term disability, life insurance. 40k/other retirement vehicles.
anonymous
you could do well with this conversion so this may be a good opportunity….major difference is that you set yourself up as your own business and then you get to take deductions for business expenses that you aren’t able to do today as a full time employee. Your accountant can definitely run some numbers for you.
Anon
Yes. Do this and also set up an LLC if you can.
anonymous
exactly…this is very common for 100% commission based sales reps and can be very good for your bottom line
Anon
Also, take a look at the Dynamex decision in cA
Sunflower
But talk to your CPA before you set up an LLC. In some states there are business taxes on LLCs, even single-member LLCs, when sole proprietors aren’t subject to the same tax.
Anon
Talk to your accountant and financial planner asap. This can screw you over in terms of potential benefits – no job is 100% stable so if something happens to your husband’s job, company, or there is any switchover in management you will lose your benefits. In addition, your tax situation changes dramatically and you will probably take a huge tax hit. Make no mistake about it, the company is doing this to save itself major bucks, and be able to treat you like an IC with no employee protections.
anon
Agree with this. It seems plausible that it would be a good move for you (so def investigate it) but I would consider it with the understanding that companies prefer IC status because it is cheaper for them (and, thus, more expensive for the employees). Depending on the personalities and general abilities, your CPA or planner could address the issue. You might put it to both and compare the answers you get.
Rainbow Hair
This isn’t what you asked, but I’m always reading those articles put out by law firms about ICs vs employees, and one of the big red flags for misclassification is “independent contractors doing work that has been/is currently done by employees.” At the risk of oversimplifying, just because you say you want to be an IC and the company wants you to be an IC, you might still actually be an employee.
How would this change impact your work life? Would you be allowed to do the same work for other companies as well? Set your own hours? Reject a project?
Anecdata: I was misclassified for years because I didn’t have the power to stand up to my employer, and the year I finally could and did, my taxes were dramatically better.
AZCPA
Going to echo Rainbow Hair here. If this role is historically an employee role, the conversion may not hold up in court or with the IRS. This could cause you and the company major problems down the road, because the whole thing could get walked back and then you are trying to unwind months/years of tax filings, retirement contributions, and benefits. Talk to your company and maybe an employment attorney before moving forward.
Anonymous
Don’t forget workers’ comp. You will no longer be on your employers WC insurance plan.
Sue
I’m in academia, currently a postdoc and I am applying for positions in non-profits. Some require the submission of a writing sample. Some of the work I do is confidential and completed in a team so I cannot submit it. Papers I wrote in the past are in a different subject area than the positions I am looking at and fairly technical. In this kind of situation what tips would you give in terms of coming up with some writing samples that can go with my application?
Anon
Grants, or parts thereof? And what kind of non-profit jobs?
Anon
Can you submit the sections that you primarily drafted with identifying information blacked out (for example if you drafted a whole 4 page section on X, submit that excerpt)? No one expects a writing sample to have not gone through any secondary editing, so long as it wasn’t heavily redrafted by a third party.
anon
What type of position are you applying for? Marketing and communications will be quite different from grant writing, for example.
Sue
OP here: They are research positions e.g. literature reviews on specific topics. The non profits do policy related work
Redux
Are you applying to a writing-heavy position, and if so, what kind of writing will you be expected to produce? Submit something that is similar to the kinds of writing you’ll be expected to produce.
Anon
In my experience, writing samples are to see what your writing abilities are, not your subject matter expertise. So don’t worry if it’s not the same subject area.
Anonymous
Interesting — I don’t like blue and gray together.
Are people cuffing jacket sleeves IRL?
anon
I love gray and blue and wear it all the time.
I cuff blazer sleeves if I don’t want to come off too stuffy. So I wore a suit to give an industry presentation but my industry leans casual (no one in the audience was wearing a suit except the other presenters) so I cuffed the sleeves.
Ms B
I regularly cuff. I have short arms and the “bracelet length” result is just more flattering on me, even if the jacket sleeve is the correct length to start with. I prefer cuffing on jackets with a decent lining and slimmer sleeves, and it does not work with a formal suit, or for court, but I really like the look for meetings or office days when I am wearing a jacket as part of a broken suit, or as suggested over a column of color or a sheath dress.
Anon
I like cuffed sleeves. I did it with a structured cardigan yesterday because the top I was wearing had bracelet sleeves with interesting cuffs and I wanted to show them.
Anon
Blue and grey is a classic color combination. This blazer, with the orange and a much warmer grey that is maybe actually brown? I wouldn’t wear with blue.
Anon with a small closet
Any tips for utilizing small NYC closets? I downsized my wardrobe when I moved here this summer but I still feel like someone out there has to have a killer idea. My bedroom is small, I only have room for one 5-drawer dresser. My undergarments, casual T’s/leggings, and workout clothes are all fine here, but my closet seems seriously cramped. My wardrobe ranges from suits/blazers (previous job that I refuse to get rid of because I want to transition back), business casual dresses, and going out clothes. I’d say my closet is about 4 feet long and maybe 6 1/2 (ish) feet tall. I have one of those extra bar gadgets (that you hang from the top rack to create something underneath) but has anyone purchased any systems that they thing made a difference. Those of you in NYC know exactly what I’m talking about, I’m sure!
Anonymous
How deep is the closet? Can you have shelves behind the hanging racks for less frequently used/out of season clothes? Put anything you don’t use often in space bags so you can cram in more. My main tip is to use every square inch of space – up, down, behind, etc. Often this means double hanging rods, shelves on top of the top rod, storage boxes on the floor, etc. If you don’t already have a bed with storage drawers underneath, use that. And then maximize every single closet in the apartment. If the ceilings are high, that is often unused space that you can reclaim. Consider hanging a shelf around the perimeter of a hall or your room about 1-2 feet below the ceiling and using that space for storage. My husband and I are DIYers so just hung wood shelves, etc. ourselves, but IKEA has good storage systems. –NYC resident whose full-size moving truck actually had to make a 2nd trip because we have so much crap
Anon with a small closet
OP here – the closet unfortunately isn’t that deep.I do have some under the storage bed, which is currently housing my luggage, sandals, and strictly summer clothes. Unfortunately, I a have roommates so the closets are shared. But hanging floating shelves is a great idea! I hadn’t thought of that, thank you! And I will say I do have some unused shelves above my closet that are so high up, I just don’t use them (even with a step stool, it’s a reach at my 5’1 stature). I think if I got a storage system I enjoyed/could see myself using, I’d be more likely to make use of the step stool in my room. Have you used any other systems in your closet? With some measurements and creativity, I might be able to make something work but have never had to look into the product itself. Oh, big Midwest closets…
Anonymous
We’ve used steel wire shelves, the kind that have support poles and wire mesh shelves and look like something a commercial kitchen would use. My husband literally built everything else; he’s a structural engineer. Can you get a taller step stool? Store stuff inside the luggage too!
Ribena
I’m in the UK where we don’t really have closets. I have a wardrobe with about a metre of hanging space which contains most of my clothes, a set of shelves with tees, camis and so on, and drawers containing underwear. A separate 4-drawer dresser contains workout clothes and clothes care things (mothballs etc) while I have scarves etc in a bedside unit and metal trunks under my bed for sweaters and pyjamas.
Formerly Lilly
Can you use under the bed storage containers for items that you are saving for the future, out of season clothing, and special occasion clothing or other items that are worn very infrequently? That and a closet system might go a long way towards organizing and de-stuffing your closet. My closet system is an unexciting contractor grade one but it is very useful. Do make sure it allows for the hanging of your longest items that you want kept in your closet without the rod for them being too high for your reach.
Anon
Not NYC but 9th-year resident in a 350 sq ft studio apartment here. Seconding bed with drawer underneath (or low loft bed with drawers/storage underneath). Ikea storage boxes in the bottom and tops of your closet. Those clothes hangers that hang multiple shirts / pants. I also put cabinet doors on / fitted baskets in some of my bookcases and use them as closet space, especially for out of season clothes. Space bags for bulky padded parkas when it isn’t winter.
Anon
These might be obvious, but: my husband’s shoes are all on one of those shoe racks that you hang on the inside of the closet door which helps. Also, my nightstand has two roomy drawers and I devote one of them to clothes (in my case my workout/lounge gear, but whatever). I also have two of those pant hanging hangers where they have like 4-5 vertically arranged hangers so all your pants are hung essentially on top of each other.
buffybot
Been there. A few things that have helped me:
– Elfa at the Container Store can help redesign your closet – add double bars, additional shelves up high, etc. The costs are usually not too astronomical and I find it helps with efficiency.
– there are hangers that hold multiple skirts or pants but take up much less horizontal room.
– make sure you are using thin hangers
– agree that space up high is often the key — add shelves! Or don’t put coats or scarves in the closet – get a rack and hang them on the back of the door, the hallway, etc.
– under the bed storage, especially those vacuum bags for things you aren’t using
– make more room in your drawers( if possible) using Marie Kondo-style folding
Anonanonanon
Under the bed storage. Worst-case scenario, utilize your luggage stored under the bed to store off-season items (unless you’re frequently using the luggage). Switch items out for the season. It’s probably safe to put your swimsuits in the high, incovenient closet shelves now.
Also, do you have anything on top of your dresser? Could a nice decorative container or basket with a lid be used to store gloves and a scarf for the winter?
Put those clothes you currently don’t wear but are saving in case you transition back away for now. The reality is, you’re not wearing them now. Having them take up space in your closet isn’t going to change that. Have them cleaned professionally and then vacuum them in vacuum bags and store them under your bed.
Casual T’s and leggings need to be pared way down, especially if you also have pajamas. Your workout clothes can double as your lounging clothes if they must, but you probably don’t have the space for multiple leggings collections anymore.
I highly recommend a clothing rental membership as well, such as Rent the Runway Unlimited (so many drop off locations in NYC) , Nuuly, etc. I no longer keep a wardrobe of “going out clothes” due to space, I just rent them. I also pared down my coat collection to a gray wool coat and a gray down coat for every day, and a lovely wool winter white coat for fancier occasions. Other than that, I rent fun coats for fall/early winter.
Anon
I live in a small studio that desperately needs to be painted, but I feel stumped because there’s just nowhere to put all my stuff while I paint. Has anyone attempted this before?
Anonymous
Push things to the middle, then to the side as necessary as you work on one wall at a time. When dry, move stuff and go to the next section. Cover with sheets and tarps to protect.
Anonymous
Move it to the center of the room leaving a couple feet of space around the perimeter in which you can work. If you really wanted to you could rent a storage unit for a month and move your stuff out, but it will be less inconvenient to just create a pile in the middle of the room. Stuff will be inaccessible but briefly; you could do the painting in a weekend. Or do one wall at a time.
Anonymous
Can you tarp the floor and go a wall at a time, moving things around the room under a tarp or cloth or plastic until you are done? I’ve done spaces in stages before: move, pile, drape, paint, repeat.
nona
I did that, after living in my condo for a year or two (totally worth it, btw). I basically did one wall at a time. I’d shift everything off of one wall, prep, paint (second coat if needed) and then shift all the stuff around to get to the next one.
Means you don’t get it done in a day, but it also meant I could do a wall every night or two during the week/after work.
Anon
Has anyone ever requested and received a White Hour tour through your senator/rep? I sent a request to all three and two of them came back and said it was booked up that date. The other one said he “submitted my request” and then I received an email from the White House requesting more information about everyone in the party and telling me that I will be notified of my “status” 2-3 weeks prior to that date. Does this mean I have the tour assuming the background check on everyone in my party goes through?
Anon
Pretty sure that’s what it means, yes, but just call the lawmaker’s office. Whatever 20 year old intern handles WH tours will be happy to definitively tell you what it means.
Anon
I wouldn’t assume that. It’s probably also subject to availability.
Anon
It actually means the opposite – you aren’t guaranteed a tour unless and until you get the confirmation a week or two before the requested date. As someone who used to submit those tour requests, I recommend you not get your hopes up, especially if you have a larger group. Your contact in the rep’s office will let you know when they receive the confirmation/denial email confirming or not confirming your tour.
Abby
Does anyone use a planner that has “bullet journal” or habit tracker pages as well? Looking for a combo that includes a full calendar spread per month, and then week by week pages, and also habit tracker pages. Bonus if it’s a spiral book. I currently use a blue sky planner (perfection) and am trying to avoid buying a separate bullet journal for 2020.
Rainbow Hair
I have this!!! Scribbles that Matter. They have some plain bullet journals with just the dot grid, but I use their undated planner that has monthly spreads and monthly habit trackers, then weekly detailed spreads too. I really like it.
Anon
Inkwell Press – they have a fantastic system and you can swap out pages. It basically keeps my life together.
Abby
These are both amazing & now I can’t wait to buy my 2020 planner. Thanks!
Vicky Austin
Not a spiral bound (although does lie flat), but I really liked the Clever Fox planner I used this year, although the number of habits were limited (they’re part of the weekly spreads).
Coach Laura
I have a Mountain Planner Pro that I use as a bullet journal and habit tracker. It has monthly weekly planning/recap pages and then daily pages.
Anonymous
Those of you who think Warren/Sanders and maybe a few other candidates are too progressive and “radical”, and we need a moderate candidate to win swing states, I am curious why you think Hillary lost 2016? She seemed like a moderate candidate to me. Not a troll and not trying to flame, genuinely want to know your thoughts.
FSAaaaaah
Voter suppression.
Anonymous
Because nobody except the liberal elite (including me) liked Hillary. And, like it or not, likability matters most in this country. Obama is likable and that is why he was elected despite the factors that seemed to weight against him. It is not much different than a junior high student council election. Paris Geller may be the most qualified person to run Chilton’s student government, but if no one likes her, it doesnt much matter.
Anon
A few reasons not necessarily in order:
1) Sexism
2) A long history in politics for both her and her husband and a ton of baggage that goes with that
3) Some poor choices – her emails, not paying enough attention to certain states while campaigning, etc.
4) Not being especially attractive or “likable” – related to #1 for sure, but I think there are a lot of women who would have fared better against Trump.
I like Hillary and really wanted her to be president, but she was a pretty flawed candidate in many ways (some entirely out of her control) and I don’t think her loss should be considered indicative of a larger movement away from moderates. I think only #2 (and possibly #3) apply to Biden, for example. Possibly none of them apply to Mayor Pete, although homophobia is in its own can of worms.
Anon
+1000000 to sexism.
The rest would have been a non-issue if she were a man.
Anon
I think the James Comey October surprise was just enough to put voters in important swing states off her.
But I mainly think the super divisive primary race with Bernie was the destroyer. Too many Bernie supporters refused to vote for her, and his endorsement was too weak and too late. There was so much sexism in his camp and he did little to nothing to stop it. I blame him for all of this. I would never, ever, ever vote for him because of it.
Anonymous
This. It was clear he was not going to win the nomination and didn’t care if prolonging the primary would damage the election chances or not. He’s smug and ineffective and I can’t see why anyone thinks he is presidential.
Anon
I’m a moderate Dem from a Bush-type R family, some of whom have gone over to the Trump side. For my family, Hillary had too much baggage, plain and simple. She’s been villainized in the press since the 90s when she “tried to wear the pants” and help develop a healthcare plan. Andplusalso, Benghazi. Andplusalso, her emails. There was just too much baggage. I believe her rejection was about politics, not policy.
Anon
She ran the most underground of bunker campaigns. Trump was out holding midnight rallies in Michigan and she was meeting with curated groups of people in states that she was guaranteed to win or almost certain to lose.
And don’t put your rural outreach office in Brooklyn. #NotTheOnion
Pregnancy disclosure
I’m pregnant and starting to show… I’m petite so any belly protrusion is hard to hide although I’ll be going shopping this weekend to see if I can find some loser dresses.
I found out I was pregnant after my first week at starting at a new job. Ideally I’d like to wait until the end of the year bonuses but that seems more than likely impossible. I definitely want to hide it until the end of my probationary period which is another month away. Would you tell soon? Keep hiding it/not confirm it until after the probationary period? There isn’t an official policy on pregnancy leave and I am not eligible for the longer maternity leave since I haven’t been at my firm for more than a year.
FWIW- I haven’t been sick or otherwise shown signs of pregnancy. I have my own office so hide behind a blanket most of the day and try to stand up straight, suck in my stomach as much as possible when around other people. I live in SoCal and it hasn’t quite gotten cold enough for giant sweaters etc.
Any suggestions on hiding the bump longer or when and how to tell the office would be helpful.
Anonymous
Wear open jackets. I did this when pregnant and after eating lunch when I’m packing a full burrito baby in my sheath dress. It doesn’t hide so much as obscure the exact shape hiding within it.
Coach Laura
You might post on the afternoon thread or the Mom’s board for more views. I think not disclosing now and waiting until after the probationary period is good but if you’re starting to show now there isn’t much hope you can hold off until after bonuses. As a new employee though you can probably add some bigger pieces to your wardrobe without sending alarm bells because people don’t know what your fall wardrobe looks like. Things like buying non-maternity skirts and jackets in a bigger size, stretchy pants/skirts wearing blouses out instead of tucked in, wearing sheath or A-line dresses that don’t skim etc. (These will be useful after the birth before you fit into your regular clothes.)
I’m short at 5’2″ and with my first it was easy to hide until almost 20 weeks but I don’t know how far along you are now.
Some people say that when you tell you shouldn’t apologize and you don’t have to say if it was planned or not but if anyone says “geez you didn’t tell us after you were hired” you can say it was a surprise to you and the timing wasn’t planned that way and then redirect the conversation to your projects or goals and how you are focusing on the work now. Hopefully no one will say anything (very rude) and there is plenty of time to make plans and reassign work before you go on leave.
anon
Or if they say “geez you didn’t tell us” you can ask if that would have made a difference in their hiring decision…I mean, maybe not if you don’t want to rock the boat, but no need to talk about your reproductive planning with anyone you don’t want to.
But congrats. And I would suggest blousy shirts that cover the waistband of your pants/skirt (in case you cannot zip) with waterfall cardigans in a lightweight material (even just cotton if that is weather-appropriate, key is longer and drapey).
Anon
I bought a lot of clothes 1-2 sizes up and wore them from about week 11 through week 24 or 25. Scarves really do work, and you can add those into your daily fall wardrobe. Sweater dresses, provided they have some give to them, hide the bump.
Spend some time shopping and figure out what works on your own figure. Runched and patterned tops hid my bump. Some pencil skirts accentuated it. Just try on a *lot*.
Bette
In your same boat and I find the long, double breasted blazers that are trendy right now to be very helpful.
I’ve switched to those long blazers, cropped trousers, and an untucked blouse and I think I am hiding things very well.
Good luck and congrats!
Ducky
First of all, congratulations! I don’t think you should tell anyone until you feel ready. Personally, I wouldn’t say anything until after the probationary period. The first time I was pregnant I was sure everyone could tell as soon as I started to show, but it turned out most people thought I had just put on a few pounds. I know it’s not very cold in CA yet, but we’re only a few weeks away from sweater weather. I think you can hide it for at least 6 more weeks.
Alena
Well, there are pros and cons of telling.
Pros: you can’t be fired without serious performance related reason as that would most probably be considered discrimination
Cons: people might start excluding you from important projects thinking that you’ll be gone for a while, so why bother.
You don’t have to tell anyone, as pregnancy is not something impacting you job. Everyone will notice your belly, but I doubt that anyone will have guts to ask you a direct question as it’s wildly impolite and intrusive.