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Do note that today is the last day for J.Crew's sale — take an extra 30% off all orders, plus free shipping on $100+, with code CELEBRATE. Combined with other sales already going on the site, this means some classic wear-to-work clothes (and reader favorites) come to some really affordable prices:
- A lot of the Super 120s suiting is marked down — for example, get a beige or royal blue 1035 jacket for $131 (originally $230, then on sale for $188) or a matching beige Hutton trouser in super 120s for $82.60 (was $148, then marked to $118)
- the No.2 pencil skirt was $118, now comes as low as $70ish
- the Memo Dress was $188, but select colors now come down to $70ish
- A lot of pants are really affordable, including the Minnie Pant (was $118, select colors come to $56 after code)
- Some of the Collection Cashmere comes under $100, like this v-neck sweater — was $188, then marked to $140, about $98 after code…
- even some of the Liberty Print shirts are marked down — were $150, then on sale for $115, but after the code they come down to $80
Readers, which are your favorite J.Crew pieces? Have you gotten any amazing deals recently?
Anonymous
Okay, I’m hoping I could seek your guys’ feedback on an argument I had with my husband this morning. He just started working in the same building as me. I forgot my phone this morning and, leaving later, he brought it after I emailed him.
Below is an IM convo. It seems really dumb, but I feel like he’s being generally rude and dismissive. I haven’t been to his desk yet – he’s on a different floor – and so below is me asking him to find him, and he’s telling me he’ll just meet me.
I probably look like an idiot pasting this whole conversation, but I really hope you’ll share your take and tell me if I’m just being overreactive.
Him: you can come get your phone now
Me : cool, what’s your cube 11:21:46 AM
Him …i’ll come out 11:21:52 AM
Me: why? 11:21:55 AM
◄i feel like you’re embarrassed to have me come over or something 11:22:09 AM
Him: now. everone has there head phones on 11:22:24 AM
Me: huh? 11:22:36 AM
Him: im busy and i dont want to deal with this now. do you want your phone 11:23:07 AM
That’s the whole thing. I didn’t reply.
Anonymous
And apologies for the early threadjack, too.
Mountain Girl
Is this a new job for your DH? Could it be that he doesn’t know the office yet and doesn’t want to send a wrong message to his coworkers?
SF Bay Associate
I don’t know either of you, but I don’t see how you got “embarrassed to have me come over” from his offer to come out. He’s trying to look diligent and make a good impression at his new job. He might not want to be seen as the guy whose wife works upstairs and tells him to bring stuff to her the very first week he’s working. And he’s busy, so instead of having you meet him in his office, where he’ll have to introduce you to fifty million coworkers just so he can give you your darn phone which will take forever and then he’ll be the new guy with the wife upstairs, he can just hand it off to you in the front. Faster. Easier. Plus subtleties and tones are missed over IM anyway. Unless you have a reason you’re not sharing, I don’t see why you’re interpreting this conversation as he’s insulting you.
OP
Ha, you’re awesome, SF Bay. Thank you for your candor. I can see where you’re right.
You don’t think he was kind of dismissive though?
SF Bay Associate
Let’s look at this another way. How do you think this conversation should have gone? Type it out for yourself. Then step back and look at it. (Therapy FTW!) Is this fantasy conversation a style of communicating that your DH has ever chatted to you i.e. do you have any basis to expect this? Is this fantasy conversation something that you could reasonably expect during an assumedly very busy time? If the answer to both of these questions is No, then apologize to your DH tonight for jumping to negative conclusions, acknowledge that he’s working hard at his new job, that it was indeed your fault for forgetting your phone and you appreciated him bringing it to you, and it’s totally irrational but you still felt a little dismissed, so maybe next time, an emoticon smileyface would be nice please :).
Basically, own your neuroses and insecurities and ask for what you need, even while honestly acknowledging that they are often baseless and irrational. Yay therapy!
Lila
Yay therapy indeed – dang, I just got some of it free on this site alone. Excellent advice. Thanks so much!
KC
Ha, Lila, I was thinking the exact same thing. Thanks to the many, many ‘r3ttes who keep me grounded/mentally stable.
Lila
“Grounded” is a great way to put it, KC. I get such clarity on here, it’s crazy, and it’s always delivered with a lot of compassion. Very cool.
Nonny
Agreed.
momentsofabsurdity
I would feel like he is being rude and dismissive too (IMO “I’m busy, I don’t want to deal with this right now” is kind of rude and dismissive). That said, I know that I read more into text/IM conversations than many of my guy friends do. It’s possible he was just having a bad day and taking it out on you, and it’s possible he is just seeing himself as being direct.
I’m not sure that I would make an issue of this (beyond going to get your phone), partially because for me, I wouldn’t be able to quite articulate the behavior I wanted the person to change, which makes it harder for me not to feel silly when bringing it up. If you feel comfortable and do want to bring it up, later on today (after you’ve both cooled off) I might be like, “Hey, I felt like you were kind of dismissive of me this morning. What’s up? Is something wrong?” and see how he responds to that and decide how to proceed from there.
OP
Yes, that’s it exactly, moments of absurdity! I don’t know how to hone in on what I want him to change exactly. “Learn to respect me” just doesn’t sound quite right. Meanwhile, I didn’t even end up getting the damn phone.
That’s great advice, though – -thank you.
Susie
Agree with Mtn Girl, could be he has a lot going on adjusting to the new job and is just preoccupied, in addition to not wanting his coworkers to think he’s slacking on the job. I don’t think my husband would even IM on the job, he is very serious and focused. I wouldn’t think to much about this.
Lila
Thanks, Susie, for this perspective. Appreciate it.
MaggieLizer
So, idk your situation obviously, but I could see myself getting upset about something like this if I generally felt like my SO was dismissive of me or embarrassed by me, or if I was otherwise kind of emotionally raw. If there’s an issue between you and DH, rather than something that has nothing to do with him, then definitely discuss it; if it’s an issue with just you, apologize for being prickly with him, let him know what’s going on, and if you need something from him, ask. I agree that DH’s “don’t want to deal” comment wasn’t as nice as it could have been, but I can’t really fault him too much for feeling exasperated by the “embarrassed” comment, which was pretty out of left field. Hugs and good luck.
Lila
Bless your heart, MaggieLizer, thank you. (Such wisdom behind those courtroom shades!)
Anon
I side with your husband here. It seems totally ridiculous for you to suggest that he’s embarrassed of you. He did, after all, marry you! So I think that his not wanting to deal with it at the moment is indicative of his frustration at that comment and your general dramatic handling of the situation. However, I’m sure that he usually likes your dramatic nature given that he did, after all, marry you!
Lila
You’re sweet, Anon. Thanks for your honesty!
FP
I need to restrain myself from this sale – there are way too many bargains, plus the usual J.Crew final sale isn’t in effect. If you ladies want to try something at J.Crew without getting stuck with it, now’s the time to buy, as they usually bring back FS right before Christmas (basically, once you can no longer order with enough time for delivery by Christmas). Also, if anyone is looking for a good gift – the J.Crew branded DodoCases for iPads and Kindles are all clearanced out, and with the extra 30% off, many of them come to less than half of their retail price.
OP
Thanks for responding so quickly. Yes, I suppose that could be it – that would make sense. But now I’m almost more concerned – well, just hurt – at the dismissiveness of his reply. It seems disrespectful. And he seems like he’s generally been like this lately, but I wonder if it’s just a pattern that I’m making up in my head. Which is why I pasted the whole convo, weirdly. :) Thank you for indulging me in it.
OP
Sorry, that was directed to MountainGirl.
TBK
I didn’t get the dismissiveness from the conversation (for the reasons SF said) but has he been under a lot of pressure lately? Was his last job bad? Was he unemployed for awhile? Was he nervous about starting this job (is it a stretch for him, or is it a step back or sideways when he hoped to be moving up)? Mr. can get snippy if he’s feeling stressed. Oftentimes he does feel irritation toward me, but it’s just misdirected from the real source of his stress. When my husband is like this, I take a quiet, relaxed minute (after dinner or something) and ask if he’s okay. I tell him he’s seemed preoccupied/unhappy/stressed lately and I don’t know what’s causing it. I can give examples of how he was snippy with me and he’ll then see that he’s been taking out his stress on me instead of turning to me to help him with it. Not sure if this is the same dynamic as in your relationship, but I think guys sometimes aren’t great at identifying when they’re stressed and asking for the support they need.
Lila
Unbelievably, I can answer yes to probably 3 out of the 4 questions you astutely posed, TBK. So I guess that helps explain it. I like your calm, sort of chill approach to handling such situations — instead of freaking out and stressing him out even more, you step back. I like it.
Saacnmama
Of course he didn’t want to deal with it right then. He was at a new job, first day. Darn nice of him to do you a favor. I really don’t see why you’d do anything other than exactly what he asks to make the favor easier for him, with a big thank you, repeated at home. Just my $.02.
If there is a relationship dynamic you want to change, it can be hard not to read it into things that have different bases.
I hope everything went well a home last night & this didn’t blow up (which I have totally done with other similar things)
Lila
Thanks, Saacnmama. It actually wasn’t his first day, though — he’s been there about a month. But I think the way I wrote it maybe indicated otherwise.
I appreciate your $.02. :)
Lila
I quite enjoyed this, too, Saacnmama: “Darn nice of him to do you a favor.” Very no- nonsense and stripped of the sugar coating — thanks!
MB
A lot of my work and casual wardrobe is J. Crew. My top picks are:
1. Super 120’s suiting. I especially love the Emmaleigh dress and the Paley pant in this suiting fabric. The Paley pant is an ankle pant, but I’m shorter and I prefer this pant suit look to a regular pantsuit look. Plus, I can wear heels or flats. The Emmaleigh dress just fits nicely and has a nice neckline. Its sleeveless, but I always wear a shirt under + jacket over it.
2. Tippi sweater. I have it in 6 colors and its a staple for under blazers or over button up shirts on more casual days.
3. Cashmere boyfriend cardigan. I have camel and maroon and they get a lot of use in my work and casual wardrobe. Its really warm and cozy and the buttons on them are very nice. I’m contemplating getting a third one in a more “fun” color.
4. Valentina shoe. Its a lower heel, but looks really sleek. Its easy to walk in and quite comfortable. Its 100% leather, including the sole, so its a little more $$, but its a great shoe.
There are lots more great “staple” pieces, but these are definitely ones that are worth picking up with 30% off.
JK
Seconding the Tippi Sweater. I have three and want to buy more. It is SO versatile and a perfect piece for both work and weekends.
I would also add the Martina patent wedges. I have them in black and they are SO comfortable. They’re glossy and gorgeous, too! I want to buy another pair. If you get them, size up a 1/2 size, for SURE. I did, based on reviews, and I’m glad I did.
CBM
Thank you both for these reviews! I feel like I made an educated decision before purchasing!
Mpls
Third the Tippi sweater AND I’ll add the Tippi cardigan, which has full length sleeves that are long enough for my long arms.
anon
Tippi cardigan sleeves are only about an inch or less too short on me and I have a 6’2″ wingspan, so, seconding this. (I got the Medium – I should be a Small but the sleeves and shoulders on the small didn’t work, so I’m tolerating bagginess in the body.)
Lila
I’ll just out myself, though it’s a pseudonym anyway — I felt silly because the only other time I’ve written was yet another idiotic thing with my husband. Anyway, thanks so much, ladies. What an awesome community, to share your honest feedback, and so quick. I’m not seething like I was, and you’ve surely saved me from an epic IM/email/ fight with the husband.
momentsofabsurdity
Dude, don’t even worry about it. It happens to the best of us (or at least, it happens to me ALL the time – yesterday I thought Dude With No Furniture said something rude and I sat fuming for ten minutes until he asked me if I was done pouting and I realized I couldn’t even tell him why I was annoyed in the first place [and now I don’t even remember what that thing was]).
On another note, if you DO feel like in general, he has been more rude/dismissive of you than usual, you absolutely can bring that up! I think while we are often trying to remind ourselves to think rationally, we also shouldn’t berate ourselves for having feelings, and should remind ourselves that we can’t help how we feel, and life is too short to constantly be feeling attacked/ignored/belittled/whatever. I think sometimes, guys pursue being right at the expense of the feelings of the people around them and just because a person is “right” doesn’t mean the way you feel about how they conveyed that is invalid.
IMO it’s perfectly fine to bring up (but not in the throes of an argument – in a calm moment) – “Hey, I know this might sound silly of me, but lately you’ve been making some little comments that have hurt my feelings. I don’t know if you’re intending to do that, but is that something we could talk about?”
Lila
You are so sweet, MOA. Thank you. Also, I’m cracking up at forgetting why you were fuming in the first place. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve done that.
Good times….!
springtime
If you question him like you did (I’m referring to when you asked him if he was embarrassed to have him come by) in previous situations where you felt like he was not responding as you wished he would, yah, maybe he is dismissing you on purpose. When someone I’m dating (I’ve never been married) constantly questions my motives for no reason, I get edgy/dismissive. Does that make sense?
I think only you can answer that question- we don’t have enough context here to understand.
If you think it was a misunderstanding- just tell him when you get home sorry I was questioning you, and let it go.
Just my two cents.
Lila
Thanks, springtime – yes, that makes a lot of sense, and it’s good to hear the perspective of someone from his side. I don’t think I constantly question his motives — but since I’m not the questionee, it’s easy for me to think that! I appreciate your take.
Rebe G.
I just happened to be at JCrew last Friday when the sale kicked off and OMG! I’m in love with the Tippi sweaters and the new merino boyfriend sweater they have (beware the sizing though – I’m a 12 and had to go down to a small in the boyfriend sweater to not be swallowed alive). Renewing my love affair with JCrew after losing 40lbs of baby-weight! :)
Lila
Oh my GOD, i posted in the wrong place again. Forget worrying about my husband’s respect, you guys are probably ready to dump me by now. My apologies!
De
Not even close :)
Lila
Not even close :)
Lila
Oh man, De, I mistook you in the most spectacularly embarrassing way — I thought you meant, “Not even close- – we’d never want to break up with you.” Meanwhile, what you meant was, “Not even close” referring to WHERE I POSTED. I need to leave, now.
Anyway — haha, yes, not even close. :)
zora
Well, I can’t speak for De, but I will say “not even close” and I DO mean: Not Even Close To Breaking Up With You, Lila!!
De
Nnononononooooooo I definitely meant it as in we’d never ever ever ever want to break up with you!!!
Lila
I am suddenly in love with you both, zora and De. I hope this doesn’t freak you out.
Anon
Does Ann Taylor do price adjustments? I just ordered a suit last week and today, they have a promotion for 50% off all full price items, which is significantly less than I paid.
MB
I actually had a really bad experience trying to get a price adjustment and vowed to never shop at AT again. I had purchased a purse at full price and one day later there was a significant promotion. They told me they don’t do price adjustments on promotions. I told them I was going to simply return the purse and repurchase it and they still wouldn’t do it. So, I ended up returning the purse and not rebuying it and never buying anything else from AT.
I’m sick of the promotional games retailers play. Its so frustrating to never know if you’re getting a good price on something. And, its a good reminder to not pay full price for ANYTHING at Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, etc.
Long story to say, that you probably won’t be able to get one because its considered a promotional price and not a sale.
MB
I found the original email:
“Thank you for your inquiry regarding a price adjustment for your anntaylor.com order. Upon further research, I found that I will be unable to process your request. Price adjustments are not eligible on special promotions, including special value prices, percentages off (e.g., 25%, 40%, and 50% etc.) and dollars off. I apologize for any disappointment this may cause.
One price adjustment for merchandise purchased at full-price, which has been marked down for the first time, may be made within 7 days from the original date of purchase. Price adjustments are not eligible on special promotions, including special value prices, percentages off (e.g., 25%, 40%, and 50% etc.) and dollars off. Original purchases made with a promotional offer are not eligible for a Price Adjustment. Our stores are not able to process price adjustments for online orders.
Thank you for choosing Ann Taylor. We look forward to meeting all of your future wardrobing needs. If you have any additional questions or comments, please email us at clientservices@anntaylor.com or call us at 1 800 DIAL ANN (1.800.342.5266). We are available Monday through Friday from 9:00 am to 9:00 pm EST, Saturday and Sunday from 9:00 am to 5:30 pm EST”
Anon
Bummer. Thanks for the response.
rosie
Yeah, that’s my understanding of their policy, too. I like a lot of their stuff right now, but it is so frustrating because every day I get an email with a different sale/promo code, and I don’t want to buy at 30% off if the next day sale will be 40%, etc.
Artie
Can you return it (at full price) and re-purchase it?
Saacnmama
Bingo.
You can even use different clerks for the 2 transactions, or buy now, then return with old receipts tomorrow.
Diana Barry
Semi-threadjack – I just bought the telegraph pencil skirt (black) in the sale (super 120s). I like it but am not sure if I’ll wear it. I never wear skirt suits in the winter, I just wear non-suit skirts, tights, boots. But would I wear it in the summer?
KC
Are you concerned about not wearing it because of the length? I have the telegraph as the bottom half of my skirt suit and I wear it all the time, summer included. For me the length is key, since I’m somewhat tall and don’t like wearing hose (if I can help it).
Gone Anon
Happy TJ! I went on an interview last week with a firm that does exactly what I want to do with my career. I got a callback today for a second interview! YAYAYAYAY!
I’m also interviewing the same day for the same practice area, but the state employee version. Hopefully one of them will pan out!
a.
Good luck and congrats!
Sugar Magnolia
Congrats! This sounds very promising! Keep us updated, and let us know what you are wearing for these interviews. :)
Gone Anon
Thanks, I’m SO excited!!!
As far as what I’m wearing, no joke, they are RIGHT next to eachother. One’s obviously a suit interivew, the second interview is “business casual.” Luckily I’ll have plenty of time to run home and change : )
Miss A
Congrats!
Going Anon for this
Congrats!
Caroline
Such awesome news — knock ’em dead!
Going Anon for this
I got a raise – and I got assigned a new project that shows that they thing I’m responsible! I’m just super pumped. I can’t really be totally excited because not everyone in my office got a raise, but it does make me feel damn good!
I hope that the end of the world isn’t tomorrow – because I’d like to enjoy this new paycheck boost a little while – you know like by buying something from this sale.
Gone Anon
Congrats lady!
KC
Congrats! Hopefully the world will last long enough for you to enjoy the treat :)
eek
Congratulations – go you!
a.
Brief vent. My family arrived last night, to begin our three weeks of togetherness. I had to work this morning, duh, so I went to bed earlier than the dad or the godmama. I lay in bed for a bit, but after 20 minutes or so I could hear them talking kind of loudly, so I got up to ask if they’d mind moving from the kitchen (which shares a wall with my bedroom) to the living room (on the other side of the apartment), assuming they just didn’t know how thin the walls were.
Welp. Found my godmom in tears, trying to reassure my dad that I loved him and didn’t want to cut him out of my life, while my dad was throwing a temper tantrum and re-packing his suitcase to fly back to the US. Why? He misheard something I said as “Get out of my life” while we were coming in from walking the pup. And of course there was no question of asking me to repeat it, to make sure he heard correctly, or to you know, saying something later like, “a., I’m hurt you would say that when I came all the way here to visit you,” to which I would have replied, “????/did you remember to turn your hearing aid on? no? well then.”
No hissy fits today (just a minor anxiety attack because I was gone longer than the 30 minutes he decided was the amount of time it should take me to walk the dog), so I guess that’s progress. So please, ladies, send thoughts of zen, calm, tolerance, and peace to me, if your own holidays are leaving you any to spare.
KC
Oh dear. Family can be stressful. Hopefully once the jet lag wears off and they settle in things will be a little less jumpy. Sending good vibes your way a.!
Merabella
From what I can remember you and your dad have had a strained relationship in the past – maybe take a moment to take him to coffee or something alone and let him know that while you know you have had issues in the past you are really happy he is with you for the holidays and that you are working on building your relationship.
He’s probably feeling guilty for not being around and is waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Hope everything works out!
a.
I should do that. Thanks.
Monday
Yikes. I’m sorry.
De
Remember your mantra.
a.
YES
Lila
Oof, sorry, a. How stressful! I guess a good thing to remember is that he just loves you, but I know how aggravating it can be. Good luck to you.
locomotive
Be strong and just take a few deep breaths every time you think you are about to lose it/snap at someone/do something. Be slow in responses and think through your words (even if your family does not! you can be the better, bigger person!) These are the things I have been telling myself since returning home this morning to spend Christmas with my parents (who I don’t get along with) and my very sullen, spoiled and selfish brother (love him but really want to shake some sense into him). Breathe!
SWTWC
I just wanted to thank the thoughtful person in the Hive who posted about the sale at Talbots. I just got 3 dresses that are just what I need. And thanks too to all of you who post – whether its perspective or a big laugh, I love the Hive!
SoCalAtty
I have a “what to do with the house cleaners” question! So I’ve had my house cleaning people back for about 3 weeks, but my house is tiny – like 700 square feet. Right now I have them do all the normal cleaning stuff like kitchen, bathroom and floors, and I also have them hang up the clean clothes (I put the clean ones in a basket on the bed with hangars and they do a really good job). But now that the house is clean, I feel like there isn’t all that much for them to do and I’m trying to think of other things I can have them do.
Also, how do you let your cleaners know where things go? I’m thinking of going on a labeling rampage with the label maker. I’m never there when they clean so we text/email/call.
L
Wash windows? Clean out the oven? Scrub baseboards and dust blinds. MaidPro has a huge list of the things they do and special requests, so maybe you could look there for ideas?
SunnyD
Maybe have them start coming every other week or every third week now that you’re place is cleaned up and you’re in a maintenance phase?
The lady who cleans for me does all of my ironing (awesome!), cleans and organizes drawers in my kitchen and bathroom, cleans windows, and cleans outdoor furniture in additional to doing the usual cleaning, changing the sheets, and doing the laundry. Because I have a small-ish condo and am very tidy, she only comes every third week.
L
I just caught up on your previous TJ and 1) def go get a drink and 2) maybe you could tell the cleaning service to come over and show your SIL what actual work is. Holy @#$(*% she is crazy.
SoCalAtty
1) I love you guys and 2) thank you for the suggestions!
I always said that no one could be more dysfunctional than my family…I was WRONG! My family was certifiable (really!), but I’ve always said at least they had boundaries and stayed out of my personal business and space!
What, work isn’t gallivanting around the globe life guarding in pretty places on my parents’ dime? Are you SURE?
zora
reposting from coffee break, bc somehow i missed everyone coming over here to play! ;o)
Hey Bay Area ‘R3tt3s,
Anyone going to be in town through the end of the month? I have no specific holiday plans, so I would love to plan some fun times. Any interest in a meetup to do something fun, that can be completely non-holiday related?
Or even in a 2 person meetup with me? I feel a baking spree coming on, but I can’t eat all the product myself, so I have some open positions. These positions have only one requirement: eating baked goods and chatting with me over tea/cocoa/hot toddies.
Anyway, respond on here. I’ll probably also send an email around in case anyone misses this post. Happy Eating Yummy Winter Goodies!
Susie
Hi Zora,
I’m in the peninsula. I will be in Tahoe Dec 26-30 (yay!) but would be interested in a meetup.
Maggie D
I’m a graduate student that also teaches classes so my wardrobe is slightly more casual than the other ladies who work in corporate jobs, but I have found some amazing deals at JCrew lately. I got the number 2 pencil skirt in mustard yellow for around 45 bucks, some ankle length jeans in lemon for 29.99, and then the other day I got one of their sequined t-shirts for 37 bucks. I will say this…the sale for JCrew is a lot of times better in store than online. The pencil skirt for instance was at least twenty bucks lower, and obviously there are no shipping costs.