ByKate Antoniades Hours Updated
Comments 183 Comments

Coffee Break: Mini Desktop/Counter Vacuum

A round, light-green mini desktop vacuum cleaner

Our last mini kitchen vacuum bit the dust recently after a little more than a year (grrr), so I replaced it a few weeks ago this one. It's only a couple dollars more, but maybe it'll last longer. It has a 4.3 rating from 4,000+ reviews at Amazon, so we shall see.

This tiny vacuum is great for your desk as well as your kitchen, and I use it for the latter. It charges via USB, and a full charge is supposed to last for four hours. If that's accurate, you'll need to charge it very rarely, as you'll probably only use it a few minutes at a time, if that. I mostly use this for crumbs on the counter and stovetop, and while it (unsurprisingly) doesn't exactly have powerful suction, it does the job.

If you eat at your desk often, this is a handy tool for keeping it crumb-free.

The pictured green is the cheapest option, and all three colors are under $15. The vacuum comes with a removable nozzle, little cleaning brush (for the vacuum itself), and USB cable.

Sales of note for 12.5

183 Comments

  1. Finding myself in an all-black outfit today and feeling that it reads as angry and unfriendly in the office. Spent my lunch looking for items that read like Comic Sans (friendly and approachable), but every thing was either polyester or viscose. Fine, FINE. Is one better than the other, for either durability or any other longevity factor (pilling, stains not lifting out at the cleaners)? And if it’s all dry-clean-only, is one better or worse for that? I tend to be a cotton-silk-wool–nylon person except for gym attire, so most of my synthetics are tough pieces (although I guess viscose comes from wood, so is natural-ish even if processed in a way I don’t fully grasp).

      1. Hard agree with this, and now I’m trying to figure out what font I do want to read as at the office, lol.

        1. OP here. I know that Comic Sans is controversial in some circles, but it does get people’s attention. Today’s outfit is BOLD ALL-CAPS GOTHIC SCRIPT and so visually heavy it seems to just glower at people. Summer black is usually in a happy outfit. The same color on cooler-weather clothing can just have a weight to it that comes across too strong. To be fair, we were in a heat wave until recently, but I’ve got a D+ for today’s outfits (it fits but it looks mean).

    2. where are you located? in NYC it’s definitely not considered mean or unfriendly, it’s just an outfit. if you’re in the south or the midwest then you might have to soften it up, maybe with something in gray, or fun jewelry or colorful shoes.

      1. Agree — not a big deal in NYC/NEUS. Elsewhere, agree that it may need softening. I’d struggle with how to do that.

      2. Uh, yeah. Black isn’t unfriendly where I am, it’s… normal? I know I look better in navy; however, I’ve transitioned into a mostly black capsule wardrobe and… my life is so easy right now.

        Although honestly? If I am reading as unfriendly, I am frankly fine with that.

    4. Black is the cornerstone of my wardrobe. I frequently dress in all black. I like louder jewelry for an all black simple outfit. I feel like it softens/feminizes it some.

      1. I love pearls, so I always soften my black outfits with lots and lots of pearls. Not necessarily white peals either.

    5. Depends on how the fabric feels. I have definitely had some viscose pieces that didn’t feel cheap. I think it’s sort of piece dependent though. I know it’s not the softest, but MM Lafleur’s various jardigans have been workhorses for me when I travel. I also have a couple of Maggy London dresses in their “crepe” which is poly and it has a nice feel.

      Can you work in something new (in a fabric you already like) with your existing black items? When I’m trying to soften, I usually do it with the blouse I wear with my all-black look (I love baby blue or fuschia with my blonde coloring) or by pairing a black dress with shoes and a bag in a vibrant color. I like black a lot–I think it looks sophisticated and sort of works regardless of formality.

    7. I personally don’t think of any color as more approachable or as ‘angry and unfriendly’, for me it’s more about the individual person than what they wear.
      As an aside, I once worked with a very angry and unfriendly woman who wore nothing but bright summery colors. The Umbridge character in Harry Potter reminds me of her.

    8. Between viscose and polyester, the polyester will be more durable. Viscose/rayon fibers make very soft fabrics but the cheaper versions will pill quickly. I really like a cotton viscose blend. it’s typical a good mix of the durability of cotton and the softness of viscose/rayon.

  2. is anyone dressing up for halloween (or did you already do it)? any fun halloween-themed parties or dinners you’re going too? i’m considering one with a $50 entrance fee in nyc but need to ask my friend for more details.

    2. I’m allowed to wear a costume to work tomorrow if I want to, and I might.
      Now that everyone has outgrown trick-or-treating that’s the only thing I do. I’ve never been into parties or anything like that.

    3. No, my favorite part about my current stage of life (not really, but it’s a big pro) is that I don’t have to get into holidays, especially Halloween. I’m in the sweet spot (31) where nobody wants to go out for Halloween but also nobody has kids yet, so we aren’t doing kids Halloween stuff.

      Even as a kid, I liked trick or treating (obviously) but wasn’t very into costumes.

      The only holiday I really do anything for is Christmas: I’ll lightly decorate my apartment (wreath, lights, small tree, maybe a garland), I usually host a Christmas party, and I enjoy doing Christmas-y things (going to the light show, listening to music, making a fun dessert – though I don’t enjoy making cookies). Every other holiday is take it or leave it to me. My extended family all lives in the suburbs of the city I live in, so while I do celebrate Thanksgiving / Christmas / Easter with them, I luckily don’t have to travel. If my parents are hosting one of those holidays, I’ll help out with some of the cooking but that is about it!

      1. I was a huge Halloween grinch as a teen and young adult (never loved it even as a child, truthfully) but I LOVE it as a parent. I will never dress up myself, but I love seeing my kids and their friends dressed up and so excited. Even before I had kids, I loved handing out candy to the neighbor kids once we were married and living in a suburban neighborhood. So you might be pleasantly surprised with the next stage of life :)

    4. I dressed up as “mojo dojo ken” over the weekend and it was a great hit. I wore a plain white tee, black leggings, white sneakers, and a longer beige faux-fur jacket. Made the costume more clear with a bandana, Fanny pack, and old mardi-gras chain.

    5. DH and I were just discussing that Halloween is our favorite holiday because everyone, adult and child, can enjoy it. Our kids love it, we love it, we decorate the house and host parties.

      DH and I go to a Halloween party every year that has a theme and prizes for best costume and he’s won one of the prizes 4 years in a row. He goes all out, I’m either an accessory to his costume (I was Annie when he was Daddy Warbucks) or something easy/lame/that repurposes my kids’ costumes (I wore my pajamas and a child’s butterfly antennae and was a bad bug a few years ago, used the Barbie box from a kid’s costume + PJs to be bedtime barbie etc)

    6. I went to a vampire banquet themed one last weekend. The year before the theme was post apocalypse.

    7. I always dress for Halloween because we have a big trick or treat house! I have a collection of costumes from over the years. It’s my favorite holiday.

    2. Yes–

      So–lots of water–it really helps. You will start to feel very bloaty in your lower abdomen because (ideally) you are full of eggs. Walking helps you feel not blah when you can’t really exercise. Lean into that.

      The retrieval will likely not be painful, but when they tell you that you should eat light the last few days, they really mean it. They stuff they do to your abdomen causes a lot of constipation, so really–believe them about eating light and you’ll feel better.

      Know that your retrieval day may change a day or two earlier, maybe a few days later–they want the most number of eggs to be the right size, and they can only guess until they see how fast they’re growing, when this will be. So try to keep your calendar light and not schedule super-important meetings in that window.

      I took the full day of retrieval off, but would answer emails in the afternoon. The surgery is easy-peasy–you’ll just be groggy a little after.

      Good luck!

    3. Don’t ask the internet. People have very different personal factors going into this. I found it really wasn’t a big deal and got worked up reading horror stories

    4. Congrats! Just one thing to flag that I was not fully prepared for (and does not happen to everyone). About 10 days after the retrieval surgery, I had a huge surge of hormones that made me burst randomly into tears, be super emotional at everything, etc. It lasted several days. Apparently this is not uncommon, especially when they are able to get a lot of eggs – but I was completely unprepared and only figured out why I was so emotional after a friend told me about this. Good luck!

    5. Having gone through fertility treatments, I’ve found some doctors do great explaining your likelihood of a live birth and some don’t. I’ll post a calculator for you if your’s is in the later category.

    6. Get Miralax and start taking it the night of your trigger shot (one or two doses a day) to prevent constipation. Otherwise it’s just general bloating and I didnt have any other discomfort of pain. Take it easy with workouts closer to the retrieval. Good luck!

    7. Start taking laxatives maybe a day or so before your retrieval and then keep taking them. The bloating afterwards could last until your period, so be prepared clothing-wise.

    8. You may have some weird side effects. I never have heartburn, but had it so bad two days after the retrieval I was considering going to the hospital (didn’t realize at first it was heartburn). I then had it again for the second half of my pregnancy, so it was worth it in the end.

    1. First thing I thought of when I saw it was the “Woomba” Saturday Night Live skit, lol

    2. I’ll be the buzzkill… this doesn’t do anything that you can’t easily do by hand and all I can think of is how it will be in a landfill after it breaks a short time later.

      1. Yeah, I feel old. Just wipe the counter. There’s already a good solution out there.

      2. I really love my roomba but I am mystified about how this machine could possibly be useful.

      3. Voice of dissent, I actually do have one in my office. My husband got it for me as a stocking stuffer, but it’s great for the parts of my desk that the cleaning people don’t get. I don’t use frequently, and yeah, a swiffer cloth would probably do much the same, but it does have a place for me. It also gets stuff out from between my keyboard keys.

      5. This would be handy for me as I have tables with raised edges. They are great for retaining liquid spls, but getting them clear of all debris without vacuuming can be difficult .

  5. I keep looking for winter clothes that aren’t suits and so many items that look good on a thumbnail picture are:
    — somehow sheer
    — somehow sparkly
    — have some design element that reads after 6 / occasion wear (like for an office party, but not out there enough for a date).

    I feel like there are no normal clothes for the office for cold weather. Everything is either very casual (but weather-appropriate) or trying to do double-duty as a party piece (and we have not had evening parties since COVID).

      1. I mean you don’t have to be rude about it. I get that there’s a little hand-wringing going on but this is, after all, a fashion blog.

        OP – I just got a handful of work tops from Macy’s. Nothing terribly exciting, but serviceable.

      2. You’re just hanging around on a fashion blog to tell people to just go to the store? I know someone’s being dramatic, and it’s not OP.

        Get a life.

    2. I order vs shop in person and have 2 recent sheer sleeve by accident items I’m returning. I read every description and some stuff just slips past the goalie.

    4. There’s so much great winter stuff for work! I just got a super awesome Harris tweed blazer that looks and feels amazing for winter. Have been wearing it with jeans to dress down and black pants and loafers to dress up. Very cozy. Similar-ish to this one: https://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=754512002&vid=1&tid=brns000051#pdp-page-content

      I also posted before about how much I love the Talbots wool flannel suit (separates) and literally cannot wait to wear mine.

      I also love cashmere turtleneck sweaters, all the new boots, the midi dresses…. Leather skirts (another pencil) are great, if you’re into that.

        1. PS: Kat, you should do a winter blazers round up. So many great things out there and would be fun to see a bunch of options together.

    5. I love Lauren Ralph Lauren and Anne Klein for simple, upscale, and mature-looking work stuff with a feminine feeling. Tommy Hilfiger runs small but they also have preppy classics for a relatively reasonable price.

  6. if you could only take one pair of jeans with you on a trip, which cut of jeans would you take? flares? crops? boot? skinny?

    2. Is your destination likely to be rainy? I am cautious on length with bootcut, flare, and some straight jeans, because if they skew long, they can end up wet and sopping up puddles.

    4. Depends so much on my destination, both the climate and my planned activities. Flared crops are my favorite silhouette, but if its chilly I wouldn’t choose them.

    5. All I wear are bootcut because they work best for my body shape, so that’s what I would bring, lol. I’d bring one of my dark indigo pairs.

    7. I just went on a trip and took my Levi’s wedgie straight fit jeans and it worked out well.

  7. I think I’m officially a shopaholic. I purchase several articles of clothing each month and I always tell myself I’m filling the last few gaps in a wardrobe that will now make me feel confident and put together. And they do…. until the next month, when I see a few more new things that would also make me feel confident and put together.

    I have discussed with my therapist that I think clothes play a big part in my self-confidence after growing up in a home where my body was always criticized, but I want invest in my appearance and confidence in a healthier way. The other factor I’ve identified is that I’m not a typical body shape/size, so when something fits perfectly or strikes the right balance between being stylish and fitting my (admittedly hard to meet) modesty preferences, I’m likely to purchase because it’s rare to find. I’m not racking up credit card debt or anything like that by shopping this much, and I’m still meeting my bigger financial goals, but I could definitely be saving more each month if I weren’t constantly shopping. The new items I purchase immediately get worn and stay in the rotation, but I want to purchase less. I’ve reminded myself of the environmental impact of overconsumption and that didn’t work either. I see a beautiful dress or a lovely pair of earrings and I want to enjoy wearing such pretty things and so I look at my budget, see that I have the money, and and click purchase.

    Has anyone else dealt with this and successfully reduced the shopping? How did you do it?? I’ve already unsubscribed from all retailer emails, don’t follow influencers on social media, etc. I just want to feel confident and well-dressed without letting it become an obsession.

    1. Do you have a set budget for clothing or accessories? If it’s purely a budget thing (not a space thing) would it help to focus on sites like Poshmark/The Real Real or build your cart and then hit purchase at the end of the month vs. buying sporadically throughout the month?

    3. What did your therapist say? I don’t mean to undermine your question, but if you’re meeting your financial goals, is this a problem?

      But to answer your question — it helps me to do a “no buy” month for clothes and any other problem areas (for me, also skincare and books). Then when I see something I like I say “nope, not this month!” and put it on a list to maybe buy later. I also set a monthly budget for clothes spending so I’m more in control on months where I am buying.

      1. I’ve tried and then I get anxious that what I want will be sold out before I can get to it. I think that’s what concerns me about this habit….it’s not hurting me, but I worry that it could if it’s hard for me to *not* make the purchase.

        1. For whatever this is worth, if you’re buying (and I assume keeping) several things each month, it’s not actually that rare for you to find stuff that works. Maybe that reframe would help, particularly with the anxiety over things selling out–you can be pretty confident that there will be something else in the future.

          1. This is a good point and something I need to keep telling myself.
            I have a massive chest but am not comfortable highlighting it or showing any amount of cleavage (this is a nonnegotiable for me), so anytime I find a tank top or camisole that actually covers everything instead of sliding down and still showing some cleavage, I purchase is. Anytime I find a dress that is still young and fun, but doesn’t have cut outs or show any cleavage but also doesn’t look frumpy, I want it because I can never find anything in a pinch…. I hate shopping for a friend’s wedding and not being able to find anything in time, for example.

    4. just a note that if you’re overweight, Wegovy has significantly reduced all of my addictive-ish behaviors – my online shopping has gone down significantly, so has my booze intake. (could take it or leave it now.)

      1. I’m not, but I’m glad to hear that it’s working for you!
        I don’t drink alcohol already for health reasons, so I already save a chunk of change compared to my friends when we go out together by sticking to seltzer.

      2. This is really interesting and reminds me of how people often replace one addiction with another. People in AA are often chain smokers.

        My doctor wants to prescribe me Wegovy but said there’s none available nationally. I’m not diabetic so I can’t take the other injectables.

        1. Lol. I was a chain smoker and quit at 12 years sober. Maybe I am on social media too much but there is no danger to my liver as a result of Facebook nor am I likely to crash into anyone while drunk driving. I know few chain smokers in AA. Weird take.

    5. I don’t really understand why this is a problem. It fits your budget and you’re meeting financial goals and this stuff is bing warn. That said my friend cut her online shopping by turning off her phone and reading a book every night before bed. Maybe that would work if browsing online is part of your routine?

    6. to answer the Qs:
      -I can technically afford it. I spend less in other areas so it doesn’t harm me, but the extra couple hundred bucks per month towards a down payment would probably be a better use of the same money.
      -I technically have the space, but I’m embarrassed of how much I shop. I wouldn’t want my friends to know how much I spend or how much time I spend trying on new clothes/returning the ones that didn’t work. (I have gotten almost ruthless about returning things that looked better online than they do on me… I used to keep it even it was “meh,” so perhaps that’s progress?)
      -My therapist isn’t too concerned. He said it seemed harmless to him because I’m not redirecting money from retirement and necessities to pay for clothes. He said it seemed like if I valued a down payment more, I’d be saving for it more aggressively anyway given my overall lifestyle/habits, so he doesn’t think the shopping in and of itself is a problem.

      1. You can’t be constantly new buying clothes and still wearing everything you own frequently. What do you do with the clothes you stop wearing? How long does it take for you to stop wearing them?

        I totally disagree with everyone else that it’s not a problem. It may not affect *your* life, but it’s certainly hurting the planet. I think you should try different strategies to slow down.

      3. Sounds like there are other things you are working on and the shopping at a couple hundred a month is something that you will address in time. From reading your description, I’m more curious why you feel shame about spending a couple hundred a month of clothes when you are otherwise meeting your financial goals. It’s not at all shameful. And, assuming it is a couple hundred a month, trust me, girl, in context, we all have vices that amount to a couple hundred bucks a month.

        1. Yeah, I agree. If you can afford it, $200 is not a serious shopping addiction. You’re not going into debt, you’re not hoarding. You’re dressing yourself, and you live in a world that requires you do so.

        2. “trust me, girl, in context, we all have vices that amount to a couple hundred bucks a month.”

          Totally agree. I spend this on clothes every month and I’m fine with it. I don’t get my hair color or nails done in the salon; we don’t have a boat or a second home; we’re homebodies so we don’t spend a ton of money going out; my kid’s college account is fully funded and we’re ahead on our retirement savings. I guess I could save every penny I make, and eat every meal at home out of cans and get my clothes out of the dumpster behind the Goodwill. I don’t think that’s how I want to live my life. Life is for living, and we all need to have a little fun sometimes. I know people who are way into getting their nails done, or buying skincare and makeup, or eating out at fancy restaurants, or even going to the casino and putting a couple hundred in a slot machine. Heck, I even know folks who still collect china figurines! It’s fine. It’s healthy to have outlets and hobbies. It’s okay to like things, and spend reasonable amounts of money on what you like.

    7. This is me, although I don’t find it a problem, lol.
      I have a set-in-stone clothing budget and buy primarily second hand. I very rarely shop online. If what I want is more than my budget for the month, I save until I have enough.

    8. I like keeping a planned purchases bookmark folder, for online shopping. I remind myself that I’m happy for pretty things to exist in this world without having to own them. I don’t buy stuff immediately, but bookmark the page for later. This is great for any inspiration like oh, a lilac cashmere sweater is just what’s missing from my wardrobe, wonder where I could get one, cue search and clicks. If this is truly a gap in my wardrobe, I’ll remember and I’ll know that I already did the research job and check my bookmarks folder.

      Currently I have loads of stuff in my folder, some will be purchased, eventually, and some will not. I doubt I’ll ever get the grinding machine tool that I think would work great for my patio furniture, but I will probably get the ochre yellow trouser socks that would look great with my winter clothes.

      It sounds like you might not fully trust your purchases and style yet. One thing to remember is that using the items you already have in different ways is great way to establish a distinct personal style, which will do the hard lifting to make you look well-dressed and confident. Always chasing something new doesn’t in itself doesn’t mean well-dressed.

    9. I can identify. It’s helped me to set a monthly budget for clothing. It has helped me prioritize what I really need.

    10. have you tried Rent the Runway? I can be a cost effective way to scratch the fashion itch without adding to your closet. I don’t buy anything outside my subscription (apart from workout clothes/absolutely necessary shoes) and find the cost reasonable. my role includes a lot of work events so this helps me stand out while not repeating the same bold outfit over and over

    11. “I want invest in my appearance and confidence in a healthier way”

      Physical activity! Pilates, barre, hot yoga, running, Peleton, swimming, a local fencing club….

      I grew up in a home wherein my body, hair, makeup, and clothing choices lived under a microscope. The criticism was constant, belittling, and smarmy. Athletics keeps me sane and allows me to channel those negative voices away.

    12. I recommend thrifting, specifically Goodwill. I indulge my magpie tendencies, for <$2 per item.

      1. I do this too, but I can’t stand thrift stores (what is that smell) so I do most of it on ebay and Mercari. They went to the thrift store and bought it for $5, turned around and sold it to me on ebay for $20, and I’m perfectly happy with this arrangement.

    13. Some wise person on here once wrote something like “ There are always going to be nice things to buy. You don’t actually have to buy them all. That’s what I tell myself. It seems to work. Don’t come from a place of scarcity.

    14. I get the ‘hard to fit’ thing. I used to have a hard time finding pants/jeans that fit well and were long enough, so I got in the habit of trying on anything if it even looked halfway decent. As a result, at some point I realized I had acquired a ton of pants and jeans and not enough tops.

      In general it sounds like your big concern is the lack of control you feel when you get anxious about something not being available if you don’t buy it now. I have the same issue and have worked on reducing my perfectionist tendencies and practicing being a ‘satisficer’. But it’s a problem to be managed not a problem to be solved. I try to practice a loose one-in-one-out policy and stay within my budget and figure that’s the best I can do in a consumerist society.

    15. I have similar issues (I’m tall and full figured, so I get the “when it fits, I MUST buy it!” thing).

      What’s helped me:

      -Data! I spent a week or two (on and off) logging everything in my closet, including price, into a clothing/wardrobe app. Seeing how much I’d spent on items I rarely wear was eye opening. Seeing cost per wear is super, super helpful also. I also noted which brands appeared repeatedly. When you have a tough-to-fit figure, finding your core brands can really eliminate quite a bit of useless window shopping and buy/return cycle. The wardrobe app is *incredibly* helpful overall in many ways. It’s helped me to figure out if a “shiny pretty” is actually going to work by previewing it and making potential outfits out of it (or not!), helping me build outfits and lookbooks, immediately pick out “wardrobe orphans” (meaning items that don’t go with anything or from which I struggle to make outfits), seeing what colors dominate my wardrobe, seeing how many of “X” category I have (with 30+ dresses, I *don’t need more dresses!*), and seeing what items get worn over and over so I can buy more of that style/type.

      -Finding patterns in thought. I wind up with dozens of an item because I get stuck in “loops” of “I need new underwear” which is true at first, but becomes naturally less and less true as I buy it. Combining this awareness with the app or another tracker allows me to see “I have *enough* flat shoes/undies/bras/swimwear/whatever”. See if you can catch and break these loops.

      -Consuming minimalism, declutter, and “that girl” content. As cheesy as it is, finding people to look up to and imitate in terms of my journey to minimalism-lite has been so helpful. I like Christina Mychas, “The Chic Simple Life”, Hannah Louise Poston, and the “Sustain This” podcast (on Youtube).

      -Developing mantras:

      “Remember when you wanted what you have now?”

      “I can admire something without purchasing it” and/or “Appreciating this in situ is enough, I don’t have to own it to appreciate it”

      “There will always be more pretty, desirable things. I don’t need to hoard or grab. There’s enough.”

      -Building “wish lists” via bookmark folders. I have one for perfume, one for clothing, etc. I go back after 1-4 weeks and often I no longer feel interested in the item (and since you mention returning stuff–I suspect that *not* everything you buy is a once in a lifetime must-buy) and remove it. I also wound up getting a 30% off a sale item I’d been eyeballing for weeks by waiting until Oct 30 and just checking the item’s availability periodically. So waiting has its perks!

  8. have any jewish readers changed any of their behaviors in light of the raging anti semitism around the world? this weekend a family friend’s daughter got into an Uber and the driver asked her if she was Jewish and she lied and said no.

    1. Not directly related to this (since it’s something I’ve always planned on doing), but ever since I was a kid I knew I’d choose culturally and religiously ambigious names and / or Anglicized and common for my kids. I don’t want anybody to be able to determine anything about an ethnic, religious, or other background for my kids based on their first and middle names.

    2. Not yet. A couple years after the 2016 election results, we flew to Canada (we live in the US) and opened a bank account. The money is still there. Not sure whether it would help with today’s issue, though, because the AS is now everywhere (we were planning ahead for a US government that targeted Jews, women, immigrants — all of which exist in our household).

      I don’t normally wear anything particularly “Jewish” (jewelry etc). My parents were very clear about picking WASPy-sounding names, so no issue there. We have not removed the mezuzah by the front door (we get a lot of deliveries, so many random strangers see it). I considered flying an Israeli flag and decided not to.

      We did have our first conversation ever about buying a gun. Partner has military training. I do not.

      1. It’s so interesting how different families react to situations differently. My dad’s parents were Holocaust survivors and my parents specifically have my sister and I Hebrew names, though if you aren’t Jewish most people wouldn’t know what they are and our last name and is not at all Jewish sounding. We have a mezuzah on our door and i have no intention of taking it down. I in fact just purchased a bracelet with a Jewish start. It’s fairly minimalist but i work at a university and come into contact with a lot of students and maybe this is me being naive, but maybe one will meet me and realize there isn’t a reason to hate me and my children. I find it devastating that the OP even had to pose such a question

        1. I’m not Jewish but I feel like putting up cross, crescent and Star of David signs up. But particularly Star of Davids. Anti-Semitism seems just below the surface in so many places too fancy and educated to be prejudiced (to hear people talk).

      2. Oof -/ this. Relates a nightmare potentially if you have not been filing your taxes correctly or telling your preparer about this account. IMO never worth it.

        1. I am Anon at 3:45 – we did it all by the book and we report on our taxes every year. I am not trying to hide assets. I am trying to retain options to stay alive if need be.

    3. No, but we’re not religious (no synagogue or Jewish day school) and already not very public about being Jewish (we celebrate holidays, but only at at home with close friends and family). My daughter and I don’t look very stereotypically Jewish. My husband does but because his skin is so dark, he gets asked about being Muslim/Arab (which has its own safety risks) much more than Jewish. I don’t fly an Israeli flag, but that’s mainly because I’m not a big fan of public political statements in general (we didn’t fly a Ukranian flag or have public signs for BLM or Pride, even though we support all those things). There are several Israeli flags in my neighborhood.

      I generally don’t think I’d lie about being jewish, although in a circumstance where the question was from a stranger and maybe not well-intentioned, I’d consider it. Like someone noticing our blue & white holiday lights and asking if we’re Jewish because they understand blue and white are Hanukkah colors is very different than what a random Uber driving taking a look at you and asking if you’re Jewish.

    4. I’m sorry she had that scary experience. Welcome to the experience of Black and brown people all throughout the US. Signed, an ethnically ambiguous WOC born and raised in the USA who has been asked everything from “what are you?” to “are you an ill3gal?” to “where are you REALLY from?” my entire life. It feels very unsafe. White supremacy isn’t just now a problem.

      1. White supremacy isn’t just now a problem, and to be sure in the United States Black people face much more racially-motivated violence than Jews, but antisemitic attacks are up a lot since the October 7 atacks, so it feels like a little bit of whataboutism to say that other POC experience discrimination too. No one is denying that, but it doesn’t diminish how disturbing the recent rise in antisemitism is.

        And fwiw antisemitism is also not a new experience for most Jews. In the 1990s, I had a classmate who couldn’t come to my house because I was Jewish, and kids at summer camp made jokes like “how many Jews fit in an oven? 6 million.” This was in the rural Midwest and most of these kids had never met a Jew before, but even at the Ivy I attended with a much larger Jewish population, people frequently used the phrase “Jewed him down” and laughed about Jews having big noses. Pretty much every American Jew I know has similar experiences. So yeah…it’s not new for us either.

        Also just a heads up that Jewish and POC are not mutually exclusive. Many of us are not white.

          1. The phrase “Anti-Semitism” was coined by Germans not long before the rise of Naziism to describe how they didn’t want Jews infiltrating their culture, and any reputable source will tell you it refers specifically to prejudice against Jews* but the murder of the Palestinian-American boy was truly horrific. I’m not really sure what your point is here though. Talking about rising anti-Semitism isn’t implying anti-Arab or anti-Muslim violence is ok, and I have not seen any comments here suggesting it is.

            *Re: the term ‘anti-Semitism’, per Wikipedia:
            From the outset the term “anti-Semitism” bore special racial connotations and meant specifically prejudice against Jews. The term is confusing, for in modern usage ‘Semitic’ designates a language group, not a race. In this sense, the term is a misnomer, since there are many speakers of Semitic languages (e.g., Arabs, Ethiopians, and Arameans) who are not the objects of antisemitic prejudices, while there are many Jews who do not speak Hebrew, a Semitic language. Though ‘antisemitism’ could be construed as prejudice against people who speak other Semitic languages, this is not how the term is commonly used.

      2. The audacity to think that Jewish people have not had to deal with white supremacy issues their entire lives. Like the Holocaust wasn’t a weird quirk from the 1940s. It came from generations of anti semitism and didn’t mean the end of antisemitism either.

        1. Going back centuries and in every country Jews have ever lived in…it’s staggering to me that people either don’t know that basic history or are choosing not to see it.

        2. Yup. The “welcome to our experience” felt very condescending when I’ve known since before I could read that people hate me because of my ethnicity (and to be clear, it is ethnicity, not just a religion – no one in my family has ever held religious beliefs or attended a synagogue, but anti-Semites don’t care because we are not “pure” whites).

          I also don’t think it’s helpful for marginalized groups to engage in the oppression Olympics, but if you want to do that, “where are you really from” isn’t going to take the prize. It’s rude and ignorant but not hateful. Most Jews and I would imagine most Black and brown people have experienced far worse.

      3. You can see how it’s painful for Jews when they’ve acknowledged for years that “where are you REALLY from?” is a hurtful question, but now other communities are silent about the death threats and “from the desert to the sea” rhetoric. One is a microaggression and another is a call to arms.

      4. Kinda sounds like you are not familiar with the Jewish experience. Also, are you saying that all Jews are white? By stating “welcome to the experience of Black and brown people, etc” it sounds like you categorize Jewish people as being white.

        2. I think this is part of the issue. To many people, Jews are seen as the elite and therefore less deserving of sympathy. This is, of course, fairly ignorant of history, including very recent history and frankly current events, too.

          I also find it offensive to play the “what about” game – it’s not a contest. And I am shocked by how open people are being about absolutely disgusting views. You can talk about historical context all you want but the minute you start rationalizing unprovoked attacks on innocent people because they are colonizers, you have lost your humanity. There is plenty to criticize about the current government in Israel, and the Israelis are doing a great job of that, btw, but what is coming out around the world is just terrifying.

  9. I might ask again tomorrow, since afternoon threads have been very quiet lately.

    I want to use my phone a lot less. However, I have what I’m starting to realize is so impulsivity control issues with it. Basically, if I get an idea I pretty much have to start researching it and keep researching it until I feel like I have enough knowledge (I have so many niche knowledge rabbit holes). Likewise, if I’m reading a good book (which I use the Kindle app for ebooks on my phone to do), I feel like I have to keep reading the book. Basically, if there’s an itch to scratch, I have very little self control when it comes to scratching it.

    I feel a little better that most of my phone usage isn’t just scrolling social media and I’m learning things, but I’m still using my phone way more than I would like to be.

    1. I have 82 wikipedia tabs open so … solidarity?
      When I’m trying to use my phone less I have to physically put it in another room.

      1. I have never been evaluated, but I wouldn’t be shocked.

        I’ve always liked these rabbit holes, but they’re getting more intense lately.

    3. Ooh I definitely feel this.

      Get an actual Kindle (or read physical books)?
      Keep a pocket notepad and jot down things you want to research later?
      “Alexa, remind me to Google underwater basket weaving at six oh three pm”?

      1. I’m actually going to bring this up in therapy, because it’s really, really hard for me to not to the thing RIGHT NOW when it’s on my mind. I was late for work the other day because I couldn’t stop my research.

    4. You know that Liberty Mutual TV ad in which the Mom takes notes “on her phone” by writing on a sticky note with a pen and sticking the note onto her screen?

      Maybe keep a sticky note on your phone and every time you want to “look something up,” write it down and do them all during a dedicated time of the day?

    5. omg this is totally me. a random thought will pop into my head and i have to research it immediately. i have no idea how i would have survived in previous years.

    7. I had this same realization last year. I am becoming ever more vulnerable to all the clever behavioral prompts that make a person want to check the news, check texts, etc all the time on her phone instead of focusing on work. I got a “Kitchen Safe Box” on Amazon and absolutely love it. If I find myself getting lost on my phone (or feel like grabbing for it frequently), I put in the safe box and set it for even 10 min and it breaks the compulsion for a bit and I can get back on track. I’ve found it to be a very useful tool.

    8. I am exactly like this. I look everything up all the time – things I hear, what was the name of that band, why is my skin itching right here, what was the deal with the Jon Hamm references this morning, what was the name of the restaurant that was in this space two restaurants ago, etc etc

  10. I’ve prided myself on be as easy a guest as possible, made possible by the fact that the only food allergies I have give me only mild reactions to very uncommon foods in my community.

    However, I’ve reached the point where I feel like I need to disclose a dietary restriction: no mammals, but not strictly so. I can have a slice of bacon or something with a very small amount of beef. However, the last time I ate a full 4 ounce portion of beef, my body did not react well. I’m pretty sure I’ve done this to myself–I have health and environmental concerns about eating mammals, so just haven’t in long enough that my body has lost the ability to digest mammals. To further complicate things, I’m committed to the extent I won’t prepare mammal meat, but I’m not so committed that I wouldn’t love to eat a slice of bacon someone else prepared. Not willing to try a full portion, given what happened last time, though.

    I feel like all of this is fussy bordering on TMI. What do I say when asked about dietary restrictions so I don’t sound super annoying?

      1. Oh I missed that you’ll eat poultry. Just say you mostly avoid red meat and pork- also not a complicated concept.

        1. Agree with this. Maybe it’s just the fact I know multiple people with alpha-gal syndrome from tick bites (which, if you have actual reactions to this, are you sure you don’t have it?), but this doesn’t seem like an unusual dietary restriction to me.

        3. At an event last year I had submitted my dietary restrictions as no beef or pork and got… veal. This year I am going with I eat poultry and fish and am hoping for the best.

      1. I wouldn’t say this! If she ever has a piece of chicken in front of the person she says this to, she will be questioned!

        I’d just say, “I don’t eat red meat or pork” and leave it at that.

        1. I don’t think “I don’t eat red meat or pork” is complicated or overly fussy. That is a common dietary restriction for several of my Indian-American friends. However you will look very silly if you say this and then eat bacon, so I would emphasize that this is more of a preference than a strict rule.

      2. If you tell me you’re vegetarian and I (happily) accommodate that, but then I see you eat a bacon appetizer or something, I’m going to be way less happy about that.

        Just say you can’t eat red meat or large portions of pork. I don’t think that sounds annoying, just honest. My sister in law couldn’t eat red meat for health reasons for quite a while and just said it like that – I can’t eat red meat.

    3. “I find that the less red meat I eat, the less my body punishes me. Which is to say, I do eat some, here and there, but i try to limit it, so I hope you won’t be offended if I have only a bite or two.”

      You’ve not asked your host to change their menu, but they are on notice to have enough quantity of non-meat foods that you can make a plate of it.

      1. As someone on a pretty restricted diet, I don’t particularly want to be imagining what kind of punishment somebody else’s body may have in store for them!

      2. Yeah, as a frequent host, I don’t need all the gory details. “I eat chicken and fish” but no other meat is fine for me.

      3. Yeah, definitely don’t say this. Too gross, not to mention too annoying of a vague direction to the host.

    4. hi this is me too in many ways! What’s worked for me is that I say I’m vegetarian in situations like a work lunch/wedding meal RSVP. These are situations where it’s not helpful or wanted to give the full explanation. In situations with friends, I say that I’m “somewhere between vegetarian and flexitarian and exactly where depends on what my body can handle. I’ll spare you the details.” Sometimes I add a caveat like, “please don’t feel the need to cook something just for me” or “don’t worry, I’ll be fine at this restaurant” if needed. The only person who needs the full story is my partner because we cook together frequently, but he has multiple allergies, so we have an established history of open communication about food needs. I err to the easiest label that people can understand even if it’s more restrictive than my actual diet because I find it’s easier to eat a vegetarian meal at a work lunch or at a wedding than to ask for something extremely specific. People care less about the fine print and more about “how can I treat this peon’s dietary needs with sufficient respect?”

    5. is it possible you have the tick-bite related meat allergy?? I know several people who have that. Otherwise, just say you don’t eat mammals, but fish and poultry are fine; this is normal and not a weird diet.

        2. I had a houseguest recently who used that phrasing and I’d never heard it but I appreciated the fact that it was super clear.

          Agree, though, that if you tell somebody you don’t eat mammals and expect them to accommodate that, you need to not eat mammals in their presence.

      2. It’s fine. I’ve heard no red meat, I’ve heard no hooved animals, it’s no big deal.

        PS pork is absolutely red meat – “the other white meat” was a marketing campaign by Big Pig

      1. Plant based means you don’t eat eggs or dairy (in addition to not eating any meat), so I definitely wouldn’t use this one.

        1. That is a good point. I think everyone I know who is avoiding red meat and pork is trying to avoid cholesterol so it hasn’t come up!

    7. “I’m a vegetarian but not intense about it, please don’t worry about things like chicken stock.”

      No one wants to hear that you can’t eat 4 ounces of beef but bacon is fine

    8. “I don’t eat much red meat or pork, but other than that I’m good” or “I eat mainly poultry, fish, and plant based meals”.

    9. “While I will indulge in the occasional piece of bacon, I really only eat chicken and fish.”

    10. This is me. I tell people I don’t eat beef or pork (or red meat, but some people will argue that pork is “the other white meat”), and then I don’t eat bacon in front of them.

    11. Just say you’re avoiding red meat. I can’t think of any mammal meat that isn’t red meat (pork is red meat, it isn’t “the other white meat”). It’s very common for people to avoid red meat for all types of health reasons, like blood pressure/cholesterol, or weight control. And it’s also common for people to sneak a slice of bacon despite saying they’re avoiding red meat.

      1. I’m Jewish and have found that most people (in the US, at least) don’t consider pork red meat. I would definitely specify that’s it both red meat and pork you want to minimize.

        1. See marketing campaign comment above. The fact that Americans think pork isn’t red meat astounding.

      2. This. That’s what I do. While I occasionally eat red meat (at a really good steakhouse, when I’m craving a really good burger), I definitely do not eat it regularly because it’s a known factor in contributing to breast cancer. So I just tell people I avoid it because I’m not going to eat your taco meat on a random weekend. That is not a good use of my small allotment.

        1. IDK about your attitude. If you’re putting your host in the position of making a separate dish for you because you “don’t eat red meat” but then eat a burger at a restaurant I feel like that’s putting your host way down on your priority list. I feel like you should be the other way around here.

          1. +1
            My mil insists everyone cater to her vegan diet but then will have a gyro. My husband frequently comments that she’s vegan except for beef lamb and gristle. It results in very few dinner invitations.

    12. No mammals sounds judgmental even if you don’t mean it. No red meat is just your reasonable preference.

  11. Is there a common list of knee or running overuse injuries? My outer lower knee area is very painful, 2 days after running a mile. IDK what it is and it isn’t the joint but maybe some ligament things? IDK how long to give it (pain started yesterday morning and is only when I’m walking in sneakers). Annoying because I have a dog I have to walk but not bad enough to go to the ER, like 5/10 when walking otherwise 1/10.

    2. PS – I read that if pain is changing your range of motion or affecting how you move, you should rest, but if it just aches and doesn’t make you change your gait, it is probably okay to keep moving. But ice and rest can’t hurt.

      1. +1. Internet stranger has guesses on what this is and a PT could probably knock it out pretty quickly.

        1. Dumb question but how do you do that? My primary care person is a PA with no PT practice. Do they refer you or do you get to self-refer? What should I look for if I need to google one, assuming all PTs aren’t the same? New to my non-sinus body parts having issues.

          1. Usually you get a referral, but whether you can self-refer depends on your insurance. Most PTs want a referral anyway because they don’t want to make a diagnosis, they want to treat what the doctor says needs treating.

          2. My insurance doesnt require referral so I just self-refer anytime I have a more severe injury.

    4. Go to a physical therapist or sports medicine doctor, but from the description, sounds like my IT band issues, which do much better when I remember to do IT band stretches regularly. I went to a sports medicine doc, who referred me to PT.

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