ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Dupont Dress

A woman with short, black, natural hair wearing an olive green short-sleeved dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Of Mercer continues to be one of my favorite places to look for well-made women’s workwear, and this caperberry-colored dress is a new favorite. I love the short sleeves, coordinating belt, and beautifully spring-y color.

Best of all? It’s machine washable. If this green color isn’t for you, it also comes in cobalt and black.

The dress is $218 and comes in sizes 00–14.

Ann Taylor offers a more affordable alternative that's available in regular sizes 0–18, petite sizes 00–16, and tall sizes 0–18.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 12.5

310 Comments

  1. BigLaw people: I have a hybrid job this summer (2L summer associate and then some time with a local judge in my small-town hometown) but I have with too much virtual living and crazy ads (shorts suits — I do not live in Bermuda!). When you are in the office, what are you actually wearing? I do not think that sneakers are universally accepted footwear (so even if some people do it, perhaps I do not want to be a memorable person for my sartorial choices) and yet I don’t have a good go-by for how to be neutral and professional other than to wear a suit (I think with the judge, I’d carry my jacket these days and just wear the skirt with a blouse and flats as my outfit and then wear the jacket if others were or if I were to be very cold; that would be over the top at a law firm that is officially casual but SEUS, so more formal version of casual that SV / California BigLaw from what I read).

    1. What my first year associate daughter is wearing in person at her firm: separates. Solid color pants (black, grey, navy, etc); patterned silky blouse (not necessarily silk, but drapey) in short or long sleeve, depending on season, low or flat shoe, and then carries a longer sweater jacket, looser blazer, or on a day with no meetings longer sweater, and feels perfectly at home. The female managing partner will wear dark jeans, a beautiful blouse and jacket, low pumps or flats.

      2. This is exactly what my 2L daughter is wearing, mixing in occasional dresses with cardi or jacket available.

      3. This sounds right!
        OP – you have the right impulse to be a bit more formal than what others may get away with.

      4. This exactly.

        One piece of advice that has worked (for me): The goal of dressing for business is that nobody really notices your clothes. Good or bad. That’s why it’s easier for men – they have a pretty standard look that nobody thinks about.

        1. Would add to this – if they do notice them, it should be for something wildly benign – a pretty pattern on your blouse or the like. They should only ever notice something boring about your clothes, at most.

          The most important aspect of this, to me is to dress like everyone else. If you’re in an office that wears leggings & sweatshirts, wear that. If you’re in an office that wears suits, wear that. To that end – the advice above is good – this is what most people will be wearing in your office.

      5. This also matches what I am wearing to the office – accounting firm in TX. I wear dresses occasionally. Loafers abound among me and my peers and I am #hereforit.

      6. Spot on. I’m a senior associate and highly recommend this. Although I personally mostly wear jeans but think as a new person you should dress up slightly. I’ve seen some first year associates go way overboard on casual wear like cargo capris or ripped jeans and it just comes across terribly.

      8. This exactly, except no one in my CA big law firm is wearing heels (even low heels) absent a client or court in-person meeting.

    2. Actually wearing (Philly) – my basic pants from 2019 and silky shells or blouses. “3rd piece” accessible in office if needed, but so far, never needed. Flats or low block heels. As it gets warmer I’ll probably swap to my easy dresses and carry a cardigan for office AC.

      Basically I haven’t bought anything new for the office; with everyone working in or out as they please, even if I *am* in it’s unlikely I see that many people who would GAF about my outfit.

      Unsolicited advice – I know this is just a blog, but your last sentence is 7 lines long!

      1. LOL the unsolicited advice….it’s a valid point! But just commiseration with the OP – lots of my comments here end up with the most ridiculous sentence structure. When I go back to read replies I’m often horrified. Not horrified enough to proofread all my comments though. :)

    3. My NYC big law office still has a post-Covid “relaxed” dress code. During the winter and early spring, that meant most people wore jeans every time they were in the office. Now that it is warming up, I am seeing more casual dresses on the women and chinos/khakis on the men. Both men and women definitely wear sneakers.

    4. Hi! Good luck this summer! I run a BigLaw summer associate program. Solid tailored pants, a silky shell or blouse, and a sweater blazer or other type of third piece is perfect. You should be able to leave things at your office so I would keep a pair of heels there to dress it up in case you wear flats. A sheath dress and blazer/sweater blazer also looks great. Do not wear sneakers. If you are walking a while to get lunch or something, wear flats or even a tailored flat sandal instead of sneakers.

      1. +1 to this. You’ll be able to get a sense for your specific office after your first few days. In general though, do not wear sneakers, and do not be more casual than the attorneys in your office.

        Good luck, and enjoy the summer!

        1. Your last sentence is so right. Some groups are more casual than others (looking at you all in the Patent / IP group), but keep yourself at the very minimum to the same level of formality. One summer associate wore shorts last summer and it did not go over well. People – who are normally not judgey and also casual – still talk about how bad that was.

    5. i’d err on the side of formal for the first few weeks at least (you will also stand out and people will know you are a summer that way and reach out). and then you can feel out what people you work with the most tend to wear and you can acclimate.

    6. Buy one pair of slacks and a blouse and flats for your first day and see what other people actually wear. You don’t need a giant wardrobe as a summer. I can’t tell if you’re in the SEUS or the Bay Area from your post, but dressing in both places is quite different. If you post your location too, I think you’ll get better advice.

      1. Yes to seeing what people actually wear! But I’d equip yourself with more than just one pair of slacks and one blouse – you don’t want to be scrambling after the first day! Buy a few things that you can return if you want to keep some options open and so you’re not running around after day 1. I’ve been in 4 different firms in 3 cities over 14 years, from east coast white shoe to silicon valley startup firm, and in every single situation, black or navy slacks and a popover blouse would have blended in fine. Look at what the associates, not partners, are wearing. You get more leeway as you get more senior.

  2. Our whole family is down with Covid :( only the cat hasn’t got it so far.

    Any recs for brain candy movies to watch on Netflix or Amazon Prime while zoning out on the couch in my more lucid moments? I am not into series in general. Something positive or escapist, adventure and action is fine, comedy is fine, romcom as long as its not entirely brainless (I find it can’t distract me from feeling sick if its too stupid).

    1. I absolutely loved Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar, if you haven’t seen that yet. The funniest movie I’ve seen in years, with the kind of zany humor of bridesmaids.

    3. I’m so sorry, we’ve also got it (I’m on the tail end but had the bad luck to get a bad case). I did a Marvel rewatch and enjoyed Loki, Wanda Vision and the Ant Man and the Wasp Movie. If you haven’t watched it yet, the US version of Ghosts is sweet and easy to watch, Fleabag is amazing, Heartstoppers is very sweet, and Made for Love was just serious/twisty enough without being too dark to keep me hooked.

    4. We’ve been watching a bunch of 70s, 80s and 90s actiony movies that I’d never seen or didn’t remember and many of them are surprisingly enjoyable when you don’t want anything too serious. A few I liked recently were Air Force One, The Rock, Red Dawn, The Hunt for Red October, Midnight Run, Airplane, Three Days of the Condor, Galaxy Quest, and Top Gun.

      2. I love re-watching Top Gun, Air Force One, The Fugitive and find them relaxing.

    5. Stardust! Positive, escapist, not entirely brainless. It goes on and off Netflix but I believe it’s available right now.

      1. Stardust is a wonderful movie that hardly anyone knows about.

        I still like Tootsie and 9 to 5 for older movies. I also recently watched Wreck it Ralph and Ralph Wrecks the Internet – easy to watch, but with fun little bits for adults.

        If you haven’t seen Bridgerton, I found that easy to watch and engaging enough.

      2. Oh yes another +1 to Stardust! It’s one of my favorite movies because it’s light-hearted fantasy romcom and I love the soundtrack. Such a chronically underrated movie imo.

        1. If you love Stardust, you should try Penelope with Christina Ricci. It’s got the same vibe.

    6. There is an animated kid-targeted Addams Family movie we just watched and enjoyed. It was entertaining for the grown ups too. I find Pixar movies or old favorites are perfect for this kind of situation.

    8. Vampire Academy hits a lot of those notes (action, adventure, escapist, comedy, romcom) and maybe benefits from a bit of fever.

      I heard Lost City was fun but haven’t seen it yet.

    9. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny for adventure and action. some of the dialogue is stupid, but I got around that by changing the language to cantonese and reading (or not) subtitles and focusing on the martial arts portion. Not gonna lie, last time I was sick I ended up binging on a bunch of martial arts movies including Ip Man and Kung Fu Hustle.

    10. Prime:
      All about Jamie, UK teenage drag queen feel good movie
      Brittany runs a marathon, feel good comedy drama

    11. Heartstopper on Netflix is adorable. It’s about UK teens in love, and it’s so cute. Based on a graphic novel series that my tween checked out from the library and read all 4 maybe 10 times in two weeks. (And I will admit I read them all too!)

    12. Netflix: The Chair, Derry Girls, and Call My Agent, all positive and comedies, super easy to watch, loved all of them!

    13. Ditto ghosts (US and UK are both good), and Derry Girls (watch with subtitles to feel a bunch of jokes that went over my head).

      Abbott Elementary is a network sitcom but really good and good hearted and actually funny. Set in an inner city philly school.

    14. Heartbreakers and Down With Love are the only rom-com type movies I truly love. Just sweet and silly and great actors. I Care A Lot on Netflix is *wonderful* – more of an Ocean’s Eleven-type crime movie than terrible people doing terrible things with terrible consequences. Saved! is quite funny and free on Prime rn.

      The Mitchells v. The Machines on Netflix is quite sweet and newish, if you’re looking for something to watch with a younger kid.

  3. I asked for Paris shopping recs a few months ago and just wanted to say thanks so much to everyone who replied! Ended up getting Les 2 Marmottes tea, a handbag from Primtemps, linen napkins and a tote bag from Merci (loooove it there), a shirt from Sezane (loved shopping in person there– they handed out peonies to people waiting in line to check out, so fun!) and a couple skirts from Monki.

    If anyone is travelling to London/Paris in the next few months and has questions about logistics/how things are right now/covid stuff/getting back into the US I’m happy to answer!

    Also every woman in Paris is wearing bright floral dresses with sneakers and I’m ready to fully make this my entire wardrobe.

    1. I’m headed to Paris next week! Would love to hear about the current state covid stuff and logistics.

      1. I would too. I ordered the covid tests from the United Airlines website and plan to do the emed proctored covid test on my phone or laptop the day before return. Extremely nervous about getting stuck in the UK with a positive test.

        1. Unethical life pro tip: the proctored test is pretty lax (at least the one I did). You could, for instance, swab your nose more gently than you would normally, if you catch my drift. I do not at all condone flying if you’re symptomatic or tested positive, but if you wouldn’t have otherwise taken a test (aka have no symptoms or confirmed exposure), I don’t see a reason against doing an intentionally poor swab on the way home. I also think it’s ridiculously arbitrary the US is still requiring a negative test to come back when there are literally no other restrictions.

          1. I don’t agree with the ethics of doing this, but I agree that it’s ridiculously easy to cheat on the “proctored” self tests. You can also just straight up lie when reading the results, since they ask you to read your own test and take your word for it. Having an intl test requirement but no other restrictions does seem like a bit of hygiene theater to me. Most of the countries I’ve traveled to since the pandemic had less Covid at the time than the US did.

      2. Have so much fun!!

        Had to show my vax card to get into France, and then it was pretty laid back. About half of people wear masks on the metro. Outside of the metro maybe 20% of people wearing masks? I got that vibe that people are mostly over it there. Met up with a French friend for dinner and he said basically the same thing– they’re over it and ready to get back to regular life. Lots of people out in the evenings at cafes/walking around/on the metro.

        Tourist attractions were pretty crowded and there were a lot of Americans, definitely make reservations for any major attractions you want to see.

        I recently had covid so wasn’t worried about getting it there, but I was with my parents who have both never had it (mom boosted twice, dad boosted once). They wore masks inside for the most part but we also ate dinner indoors and they took the masks off a couple times on longer, less crowded trains. Both tested negative before our flight home, yay.

        We used the test kits from City Health to come home and loved them. Done in 20 minutes and easy to upload the results to our airline.

    2. This trip sounds so amazing! Thank you for reporting back! I can live and shop vicariously through you. I would love to hear more about logistics for Paris–what Paris is like with Covid and getting back to the US. Would love to do a long weekend there this fall.

      1. I haven’t been to Paris since the pandemic but have traveled internationally four times. The easiest way to test is to bring the eMed tests with you and take one the day before you leave, first thing in the morning (it doesn’t have to be within 24 hours, just the day before your return travel). It usually only takes 15-20 minutes per person to complete. You get an email with your negative result that you show the airline. It’s been super easy for us.

      2. Thanks, it was a great trip!! Posted a comment above but it was very easy logistically, and by the fall I’d expect it’ll be even easier (if things keep going the way they are at least).

        Don’t need to show proof of vax except to get into France, and then it’s very personal whether you mask or not. The City Health rapid test was very easy for getting back into the US. I was worried about that part but if you just follow the instructions and upload the docs you’re good to go.

        1. Thank you! So good to know and I appreciate the specific recommendations for stores and testing!

      1. You should do it!!! Paris is everything everyone says. I would have stayed for a month if I could.

  4. Any ideas for a January honeymoon outside of the US? Not interested in the Caribbean or only sitting on a beach for two weeks.

    3. Assuming you have a couple of weeks for it, I would do Argentina and visit a few regions like Buenos Aires, Mendoza, Patagonia.

      1. And Tierra del Fuego! I lived in Buenos Aires for a couple of years, and if you go, I would go to Buenos Aires for 3-4 days, then Tierra del Fuego up to Bariloche for another 10 if you can swing it. Or do Buenos Aires, Mendoza, Iguazu Falls. Buenos Aires is great, but I wouldn’t spend too long there on a honeymoon, personally. It’d be like going to NYC.

        1. One of my goals in retirement is to spend a month in NYC (and then: LA, London, Paris, etc.). NYC never gets old. I have never had time and money at the same time there. Grew up poor where many neighbors would take the bus into Port Authority and now live far away. When I go for work, I yearn to just linger and explore and enjoy the water and the museums and the neighborhoods and old Yankee Stadium . . . I would never had enough $ to live there in retirement (and have gotten used to having my own washer/dryer and garbage disposal), but that city will always have a bit of my heart.

        2. Yes, also to Igazu Falls. This is my dream trip, but it is a huge country so it’s daunting to try to plan it when you don’t have two full weeks!

      2. The blogger The Directrice visited Argentina a few years ago. She saw Buenos Aires and also saw a glacier. It looked like a nice trip.

        1. I love Argentina, but Buenos Aires in January will be very hot. Patagonia and Bariloche are gorgeous year round, but winter sports and many sites will be closed for the summer (there are activities you can do in the heat, but it’s a different trip).

      1. Yes, we did Australia and New Zealand for three weeks total (including travel days) and it still barely felt like enough time! Go go go!

      1. Or 5 days in the Seychelles to relax post weeding, to a safari in Kenya, on to wine tasting in South Africa (my dream honeymoon personally).

        1. This was my honeymoon in reverse and SA instead of Kenya for safari. It was perfect.

    8. Oooh. Do you want warm or is cold ok? If cold is ok, I think London/Paris is the perfect 2 week foreign trip. A week in each, with a fun train ride between. A week is plenty of time to do all the “must dos” at a very relaxed pace, and explore on your own and do some more off the beaten track things as well, including a day trip outside of each city to somewhere like Cambridge or Versailles. Enjoy!

      1. Cold is ok. I have no problem being a snow bunny at a great spa for a few days :)

      2. I would not do this. It’s way too easy to do in a single week, and your honeymoon gives you a full two weeks off.

        2. Also London and Paris are GROSS in January. I don’t mind cold, but it’s slushy and sleetly and just generally really unpleasant. Literally any other month is better, except maybe February.

      1. I would do Patagonia now. The glacier hikes are off-limits to anyone over 50 or with certain health conditions, with no regard to actual physical condition.

        1. Seriously?! F*ck. I’m almost 40 and figured I’d do this trip with my teen daughter in 10-15 years or so. I had no idea it was restricted to people under 50.

          1. Yup. My husband and I were super bummed to learn this because he just turned 50 and we are waiting for COVID to calm down before we plan a huge trip like this. It’s insane. There are plenty of 70-year-olds who could handle it and plenty of 30-year-olds who couldn’t.

        2. There is a “mini trekking” option that is open to age 65 (we used hielo y aventura, we were all late 20s early 30s but I just checked their FAQs to confirm). FWIW, we really loved the experience, it was still a couple of hours of walking glaciers with cramp-ons, just not the full day excursion. Still a super memorable experience, in case anyone reading this wants to explore that avenue.

    10. We planned a safari in Tanzania followed by a week of relaxation in Zanzibar. It was beautiful, I highly recommend it!

    11. Europe with a week in Scandinavia (recommend a stop in Iceland to do some hot springs and then Northern Norway) to go skiing, see the Northern lights, whale safari, dog sleighing, whatever cold and snow-based activity you can think of, and then a week in Central Europe, whizzing from capital to capital by high-speed train and catching the opera, shows, museum, food, shopping and some luxury hotels.

  5. I’m really stuck on anything to tell my husband to get me for my birthday. I am second trimester pregnant and have a toddler. We do not go out much because of covid and don’t have a reliable babysitter (yet). We spend a lot of time in our yard or at the beach or parks. Any ideas? Some things I’ve surprisingly enjoyed lately are a heated blanket, crocs as house shoes, and my fav gift was a bracelet with my toddlers initials. Thank you!

    3. Backpack cooler, sand-repellent microfiber towel, pretty acrylic glassware, fresh athleisure?

    4. Omg does e-1-1-e-n send you to mod now?

      Backpack cooler, sand-rep3ll3nt microfiber towel, pretty acrylic glassware, fresh athleisure

    5. just get nothing or flowers or whatever and then when there is something you want, buy it later. ever since we got married and share finances i find gift giving with DH tricky, especially if i have to tell him what i want (and I’m someone who generally is super into gift giving) bc i feel like i can just buy what i want

    6. A plant for the garden. A really nice planter. Tea. A day where he takes the toddler and leaves you alone.

    10. A bird feeder and seed. I added one earlier this year and it is so much fun to observe all the visitors, including species of birds I had not previously observed here.

    11. My family spends a lot of time in parks and we love ultralight folding chairs. Helinox makes the original, we have knockoff Moondance ones from Amazon. I love being able to throw a few chairs in a tote bag.

      2. Seconding the Helinox chair! I gave it to my husband as a birthday gift last year and he says it’s the most comfortable camp chair ever.

    12. Sephora gift card (or Ulta, whatever your preference) – buy some nail polishes, masks, moisturizers, etc.

      1. Hahaha I know I know! I included that so people know I’m not cool and don’t require fancy gifts but I’m a bit horrified myself. they’re nice for my pregnant feet and I won’t leave the house in them.

        1. Crocs are also my house shoes. It saved me from plantar fasciitis on my tile and marble floors.

    15. Big beautiful sun hat
      Husband hiring someone to come give you a manicure and pedicure outside (Glam Squad for example)
      My feet swelled terribly when I was pregnant in the summer – if you are the same, a pair of Birkenstock Evas or other slip on sandal in a bigger size would be useful
      Garden work bench – they make ones that flip over and can be used as either a seat or a kneeler

    16. I imagine a pregnant lady might like a gravity chair. I don’t have one but it’s on my list. Also called a gravity recliner. It’s supposed to be the most comfortable elevated feet chair out there, and it’s an outdoor chair.

  6. I live in TX and planned on voting today in the runoff elections, but my whole family, myself included, has Covid. Note to self-.do a mail in ballot in the future just in case

    1. lol! We have the strictest mail in voting laws in the nation which is ridiculous. Good luck making it happen, but I like your thinking. Plus, there has been a whole lot of confusion about Texas ballots. We don’t make it easy to vote here.

        1. I am a ordinarily a fierce proponent of staying home when sick, but it’s Texas. There are going to be zillions of unmasked infected people at the polls anyway.

          1. What’s dystopian is the fact that voting, masked, with Covid is quite arguably the most responsible choice here.

          2. Most of the poll workers are older and they are not doing it for the $$, but because they want to keep the polls open. Not okay to put them at risk.

      2. I agree, wear a kn95, try to go at a less busy time if at all possible, but go vote.

    3. Can they bring the voting box to your car? This is an accommodation for disabled folks in my state – worth asking or asking if you can skip the line. I’d call a voter protection hotline right now and ask them what to do

      1. Isn’t this exactly the sort of thing that TX doesn’t allow/doesn’t want anymore because it was used in 2020 and *mumble mumble nonsense* *voter fraud* *mumble mumble*

    4. Texas has made it nearly impossible to do a mail ballot. I am incredibly Covid conscious, but as a TX voting rights lawyer – wear a mask and go vote.

  7. Do you have any recommendations for nice thick cotton men’s t-shirts that come in v-neck, slim fit, in more colors than just black and white? DH has shredded all of his shirts, looking for something nicer and more durable than Uniqlo. Happy to spend up to $100/shirt, I suppose.

      1. These are very sturdy (my husband wearsvthem for yardwork/chores) but LLBean is about the opposite of slim fit, just FYI.

    4. Stafford t-shirts are the only ones my husband and father have worn for years. Available at JC Penney usually on sale.

    6. Duluth is where all of my husband’s non-work clothes come from. He destroys stuff and it takes him years to destroy their stuff.

      1. I second Duluth. I bought my dad some for Christmas and he was impressed by they quality.

  8. Is there a good source for work dresses at the moment? I love the fold but I’m a 16 and they don’t have it.

    1. Same size and I love MM LaFleur. I refuse to pay full price, so I’ve purchased them through their second-hand site or Poshmark (often new with tags)

    2. Not cheap, also a 16, and I’ve had luck at MM LaFleur. Also had some luck at Boden.

    4. Of all places – lands end. Only place I could find short sleeve work dresses for <$100 (love my mm lafleur too but $$$). Granted I like solid colors and everything to be as boring as can be.

    5. Agree with the MM LaFleur suggestions. I’m about a size larger than you so even fewer options. Also, I found their guidance on “tall friendly” very helpful and accurate.

  9. Help me find clothes/what brands are your favorite? I have had some luck finding things at Athleta, Prana and Madewell, but am striking out at stores I used to find reliable like Banana Republic and LOFT. Surprisingly, BR Factory has had some good stuff. Style is minimal/modern with neutral colors and graphic prints. Generally have to wear petite clothing for pants, and don’t like ruffles or bright colors. Someone suggested Amour Vert, and I love their clothing, at first glance.
    Boden looks great on my friends, but the colors and prints don’t work for me. Trying to lessen the buy online and return cycle. Thank you!

    1. UNIQLO? I have some basics I really like. Also Gap had some great dresses the last two summers though not seeing much now.

    4. I’ve asked a few friends lately where they got their clothes that really caught my eye – 3 for 3 were Zara. Two dresses and a coral/pink blazer. I’ve never shopped there. I’m a 14/16. Will I have luck or be painfully frustrated so it’s not even worth it?

      1. You can get great stuff at Zara but quality and sizing is very hit or miss. I find shopping in store easier, but don’t have time for it anymore.

        1. I like buying zara on thredup because at least I can see what the item actually looks like — I find ordering from their website impossible to predict but have had good luck in buying from the actually photographed item.

    5. Check out Everlane and Quince.

      Our styles sound kinda similar and there’s just not a lot out there right now. Why are there ruffles and tiers and tiny flowers on EVERYTHING??

    6. We have very similar taste! Here’s where I shop–
      Aritzia but practically all of it is polyester
      & Other Stories
      Seconding Amour Vert for indestructible silk tops
      COS but most of their clothes are shaped like sacks
      Theory Outlet
      Aday – pricey for the quality but damned if I don’t wear the sleeveless wrap top from there to every function all summer
      Vuori – alternative to Athleta/Prana

    7. Modern Citizen and AllSaints are both good. Some stuff from Frankie Shop, although that tends super fashiony. Nic + Zoe has some good stuff and some spectacularly frumpy stuff, so you have to weed through it a little. I’m totally with you on too many clothes being ruffly or twee. All I want is a bold black & white print sundress, no ruffles, and it doesn’t seem to exist!

      1. Hmm, maybe not the print you’re looking for or too formal: https://www.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/product/Pleated-Halter-Midi-Dress/570323407?color=4099&size=3253&CMP=csc_goog_pla&utm_content=autoag0000x15288498218&gclid=Cj0KCQjwhLKUBhDiARIsAMaTLnGsPLD3dgOmwqv8p4a981pxwAPFiDPLSx9FiCkNfwA3OI8Ouf_brmkaAs1HEALw_wcB

        I’m a sucker for a fossil print: https://www.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/product/sleeveless+utility+shirtdress/570327332?color=4213&catId=cat6179297

        1. If that second one weren’t polyester, it would be ordered now – love it! But perimenopause means natural fibers for me, especially in the summer. Sigh.

    8. really love some of Merlette’s dresses. Not everything though (the puffy sleeve stuff is a no for me)

    9. I’m somewhere between a 14 and a 16 and I recently have been successful with the following:
      L’Agence. I found a tweed blazer this spring that I truly adore.
      Ann Taylor (NOT Loft). I am really into their suiting right now. I find that it’s hit or miss – I loved their selection two months ago and am less a fan right now, but I assume it will rotate again.
      Talbots. Always and forever a reliable standby with generally high quality, consistent sizing, and classic shapes and cuts. The great thing about Talbots is that their clothes come in petite and regular, plus and not plus, and you can really experiment until you find your perfect size and then wear it forever.

    10. Try vince. I tend to buy it second-hand online but they’re my favorite work basics.

      1. Thank you all for the suggestions! Excited to check them out. Anyone have the Amour Vert Renata Washable Silk Blouse who can comment on sizing/how it holds up?

    11. Everlane! I went to the mall yesterday for the first time postpartum, and I was similarly disappointed by banana. But everlane and madewell were good. Just note everlane is not cut for large hips, so stick to their crops if you are my shape.

  10. I have a few midi and maxi-length colorful dresses that are summery and now office appropriate on non-client-meeting days (thanks to ‘rona for dialing back dress codes at my previously biz casual/sometimes formal office). I have a handful of sleeveless dresses that I typically wear with a denim jacket when it’s cool in the evenings during the summer here in Boston. What is an alternative to that that is office appropriate? My boyfriend length cardigans that I often layer over a sheath dress doesn’t look right. Maybe a blazer of some kind? That still doesn’t feel quite right.

    1. Solid white or black denim or twill jacket is still casual but a step up in formality from blue denim

    2. A fabric jacket with a moto cut? A fabric jacket with that short Chanel-inspired cut?

    3. Marrakech makes a lot of moto and bomber style jackets that are perfect for this.

      1. “Finance Bro” is the look, and suit + tie if there’s a client meeting. During summer, pants + button down + Patagonia vest will be replaced with plans + golf shirt or polo. I currently rotate through a combination of cardigan sweaters and blazers daily, so maybe I do wear the denim jacket but definitely need something else.

    5. How about a short, tailored linen blazer, ideally in white or navy? I think that the longer length blazers don’t work with dresses, but a shorter blazer nips in at the waist and preserves the line of the dress.

    6. If it’s going to be a blazer you’re really going to have to make sure it’s the right one. Throwing on the top half of a suit, for example, is not going to look right.

    8. What about an even longer cardigan – like a duster that’s about the same length as the midi dreses? That might work better than cutting off the visual line at your waist.

  11. I’m heading to Puerto Rico soon with my teen son (staying in Rio Grande). Does anyone have excursion recommendations? We won’t be renting a car, so anything we do will be booked through our concierge. We like some adventure but like to be lazy on vacation (half day outings are more out speed).

      1. This. If you’ve been to Hawaii, Puerto Rico is meh (except quesitos, which are a very delish pastry–Hawaii doesn’t have those). But the bio-bay was one of the coolest outdoor things I’ve done in my life, and I’m pretty outdoorsy. Recommend highly. They will transport you. It’s very cool.

        If you have a way to get to Vieques for a day, go–it’s also really stunning.

        1. Thanks. We’ll add bio-bay to our to-do list. Kiddo and I have travelled to almost a dozen islands over the years so we know PR isn’t going to WOW us. But we wanted a tropical trip without covid testing.

          1. If you haven’t been to the US Virgin Islands, definitely check those out too. I was just there. No Covid testing, and the beaches and snorkeling are phenomenal. We saw turtles and/or rays nearly every day. I had no idea how nice it was there, I kind of lumped it in with PR because they’re both in the US but the USVIs have way better beaches and snorkeling.

        2. But Hawaii has malasadas!
          I would say if you’ve been to Hawaii OR anywhere else in the Caribbean, PR is meh on the beaches and snorkeling front. Food is definitely good though, and there is more non-beach stuff to do than many other Caribbean islands.

    2. Spend a day in Old San Juan (can visit the old forts, eat yummy food, visit the Ole Puerto Rico hat shop, grab at drink at Hotel El Convento), visit El Yunque National Rain Forrest (we’ve always had a car but you may be able to do this via a tour). If you’re up for more of an adventure/day trip – take the ferry from Fajardo to Culebra or Vieques for the day. I love Puerto Rico – enjoy!

  12. Fuuuuuu
    Kid #1 tested positive 5/10. Husband and Kid #2 had symptoms and were positive first on 5/12. Kids tested negative after a few days.
    I tested negative every day. DH finally tested negative 5/20.
    Saw my parents yesterday.
    I tested positive today.

    1. Oh no. Hope you and your parents stay ok! This is why if you are continuously exposed you have to restart the clock each time you are exposed

    2. NOOO! Ugh, I’m sorry! That’s so very frustrating. Do kiddos need to lock down now or are they vaxxed? Theoretically, if that happened to me, we’d have to lock our unvaxxed 4 year old down for 10 days and miss school, which would suck so hard. The incubation period is incredibly puzzling. I suppose you could have gotten it elsewhere but that also seems unlikely since you lived with three positives. Hope you feel good despite the positive and that your parents remain healthy!

      1. Even though the kids just had Covid, you would have to isolate them for 10 days? Even in NYC, where the rules are incredibly strict about exposures and masks for young kids ages 2-5, unvaccinated kids who have had Covid within the last 90 days can keep going to preschool after an exposure.

        1. This is where I am — my kid just had COVID and just got eligible for a booster and I’m going to wait until + 90 days before even considering it.

          1. Also to add: this is one of the issues out there that non-parents-of-littles might not have visibility in to. Some independent daycares and private preschools are making their own rules, trying to be extra, extra cautious. Thankfully we have a nanny and preschool is only part time, so nanny would come in this particular situation without question, but not everyone has that luxury.

            “So go find a new preschool!”, you might say. Well, there are like 18-24 month waiting lists in my area, and registration windows for the next school year are long gone by now, and these rules and our current understanding of the virus didn’t exist when we committed to current preschool. We’re just looking forward to her turning 5 next April or getting a vaccinated ASAP once fully approved, thinking/hoping/praying the latter comes first.

          2. I am so, so sorry. My kids are long past daycare age, and even in Normal Times ™ the rules could onerous and cumbersome past the point of reason. People were also very loath to eliminate rules, even if the rules were outdated because OMG, safety.

    3. Are your parents high risk? Have your parents start isolating and home testing daily, and call their doctor to ask if they are a candidate for antivirals. Their doc may tell them to get a DNA test early.

      Good luck.

  13. Does anyone have any advice for how to keep going when your kid (early elementary) is just not very pleasant? We of course love kid unconditionally and are working to try to help kid make better choices (both for kid and us). However, kid is right now just mean (and sometimes destructive or mildly violent) to us. And thinks it is funny/does it for personal entertainment in the moment. Kid is sorry later. Not looking for medical advice; we are pursuing all the medical stuff. I’m just looking for ideas how I can get more parental coping energy while we figure things out.

    1. Hugs – it can be really difficult. My autistic son is like this sometimes because he loves pushing people’s buttons. It helps to remember it’s a sign of dysfunction or anxiety. It helps to make kid go to bed earlier because lack of sleep makes it worse, plus you get more parental energy and time. It helps to have multiple people as caregivers so you can tap out when you get too frustrated.

      1. Thanks; it helps I guess to hear that we are not alone. It is definitely a sign of dysfunction. Spouse did recently make bedtime an hour earlier and informed me when I got home of the banana water slick spouse had to clean up. Spouse and I are tagging in/out.

        1. As part of tying consequences to choices, kid should be required to clean up his own banana water slick. I am not judging how your husband handled it in the moment, but suggesting that this kind of direct consequence for bad choices may be very effective. Commiseration—I had that kid and the road was long and difficult.

          1. Kid was required to help some; kid was not super helpful and in fact was borderline actively unhelpful. Kid does not care much about carrots or sticks.

      2. I’d consider adding a babysitter one or two nights a week so you both can get a break. Is there someone who could pick up kiddo from school and handle the evening and bedtime routine? That way, you and your spouse get one or two nights a week for the two of you. Also, I do think kids can be better behaved with people who are not their parents. We had an evening nanny two nights a week for years so that I could work late and it was incredibly important for my career, but also my sanity.

        And I’m sure you’re already doing this, but I’d also make sure that kid is getting enough food and physical activity. My kids behave better when they have been swimming or running or moving or jumping or whatever – the physical exhaustion helps.

        Good luck. This too shall pass and it sounds like you’re doing all the right things.

    2. I’m sorry, this sounds really hard. By medical stuff do you also mean therapy? Because this is absolutely something that family therapy can/will address and give you strategies for. In the meantime, try to work on mild or non-reactions, or stating the consequences calmly and then carrying them out. Kid is looking for a reaction and/or testing limits – if the reaction is boring and consequences are consistent it gets less fun to test you. I’d also think about having a safe space for both of you to tap out if necessary – it’s better to leave kid alone than stay in the room and get into it with them. I agree with the other suggestion to make sure you’ve got the usual stuff covered – enough sleep, physical activity, kid isn’t over stimulated, etc.
      Good luck.

      1. Came here to say just this. Very few kids are just born as a-holes. Difficult behavior in kids is usually from an undiagnosed issue, trauma, or ineffective parenting. No matter which one it is, family therapy can help give you the tools you need to succeed. It sounds like it’s probably an undiagnosed issue which means you’ll need to add some advanced tools in your parenting toolbox anyway.

    3. Time. Kids are like this. They go through phases. Eventually you’ll get a decent human, but it could take years and years. Invest in your relationship with your husband, make time for yourself, and this too shall pass.

      1. I am not a parent, but this is such a good reality check. I know so many people who were little sh!ts as kids or teens but have turned into totally functional adults. The small handful who didn’t also had parents who were not such functional adults, so I think the expectations there should have been pretty low to begin with.

      2. Yep. I could have written OP’s post at one point. I honestly think some kids just don’t like being kids – they want to have more independence and self-determination than we can reasonably allow them – and their frustration shows up via acting out. As our kid got older, things got exponentially better; coaching from our family therapist on appropriate boundaries vs. allowing for an appropriate amount of independence was helpful. I do highly recommend the OP have their kid see a neuropsychologist for testing because it turned out our kid did have an undiagnosed learning disability that was causing a lot of internal frustration and self-criticism. Just getting the diagnosis really helped. Hang in there, OP. It gets better. Stick with therapy and make sure you’re getting in self-care for yourself (sleep, exercise, time with your spouse, etc.)

        1. I definitely wanted more independence and self-determination than school could accommodate. It’s still kind of horrifying to me in retrospect how kids got shuffled around in school back then.

      3. This. The problem kids in my elementary school class? The ones who needed behavioral consultants? They’re all great adults with interesting jobs and families of their own. In some cases, they’ve done much better than the kids who navigated elementary and middle school with ease and large circles of friends.

    4. Maybe this is too obvious or not sophisticated enough for big kid problems (mine is only a toddler, so challenging but differently than yours), but the absolute biggest contributor to mood/emotional self-regulation/parenting ability is the amount of sleep I’m getting. If I’m able to sleep enough to wake up without an alarm/my kid waking me up, literally everything in my life goes better, I’m able to roll with the punches much more effectively, and I can parent my kid as he is with much less frustration over things that are totally normal for where he is developmentally (but can be aggravating for adults!)

    5. Be kind to yourself – only parents in sitcoms like every kid at every age in every phase. While I know that the goal is an independent adult, it’s been hard for me when my kids have gone through periods of testing out bad attitudes, bad behavior, etc. because it’s not fun to say, “try that again, and this time, don’t roll your eyes at me when I ask you to complete this task” ten times a week.

      One thing that helped has been getting out of the house and doing stuff one-on-one with the child, another thing that helps for me is getting some alone time.

    6. Exercise and activity and sleep.
      Kid is the right age for martial arts/karate which gets out the hitting things impulse and but comes with structure and exercise. Also worth considering if kid is acting out in all settings (i.e. get the medical things as quickly as possible), or when bored at home (i.e. get more out of the house with other adult-type activities in line, rethink whether you give kid attention when misbehaving vs. behaving), or when tired/angry/lonely tired (i.e. more sleep, different mealtimes, playdates etc).
      Also take care of yourselves.

    7. Hope I”m not too late to be helpful:
      1. Nix any screen time entirely. My daughter is much much worse behaved when she has any type of screen time. We used to do one hour a day. She got in trouble a few months ago and we took away all screen time entirely and she is like a different person.
      2. I read this here once and it’s been helpful dealing with my extended family: think like an anthropologist. “This is a 6 year old in his native habitat. Watch the six year old test boundaries by lashing out. …” It helps me detach by seeing behaviors more analytically and realize none if it is about me.

  14. I got a dress last year (or two years ago?) at the Gap that I really LOVE and I wish I had gotten more than one (came in a few colors). I’ve been stalking it on eBay and Poshmark but only find other sizes. There is one available in size 6 regular now, which I sometimes wear, but the dress I got is a size 8P. Midi length and I’m probably right on the cusp of “normal” and petite sizes. Obviously I can’t return it if it doesn’t work out. Is it stupid to think that 8P and 6 are basically close enough? Dress is kind of a wrap style so could be forgiving but could also just land in all the wrong places. No measurements posted so comparing isn’t really an option.

    1. I wear petites and find that there really is a significant difference in how well things fit. I usually regret it when I try things in regular sizes. The exceptions are things in cropped styles that are then just normal length on me. I’m 5’3” so not that short, but I guess it matters exactly how your height is distributed and the cut of the item.

    2. So one thing to know, Gap makes their clothes in different factories so there’s not consistency between colors in the same shoe, or even in the same color if they were produced at different times. A 6 might be close or way off (and is probably off, mostly they just change arm and hem length).

      1. That’s not so realistic on poshmark. It’s where people resell their old stuff, if it’s not on Gap now, the seller won’t be able to get it. I sell in there and I’d just ignore anyone who asked me for that.

        2. Really? That’s a weird take. I see people posting measurements on Poshmark all the time.

        3. I disagree! I ask for measurements on Poshmark all the time and sellers give them. As a seller myself, I’m happy to give measurements.

        4. I am the Anon at 10:39 and have usually seen sellers post measurements, precisely because they have the item in hand.

    4. Thanks all. I have to admit that my own laziness – I have little desire to measure my dress to compare ( i would begrudgingly do it if the store provided measurements). I saw two NWT dresses available – one in a new to me color and one that’s the same as the one i have. I decided to chance it and order the new one. I can always give it away if it doesn’t work. Fingers crossed it’s forgiving enough that it works out!

  15. What’s a good resource for small-band bras, particularly one that might have some in-store? (I don’t live near a Nordstrom’s). I’ve decided 32s really aren’t working for me, but very very few places have smaller -even Amazon has almost nothing! The a bra that fits calculator tells me I should wear a 26DD, which sounds nuts, but I’d like to try a 28 or 30. I’ve been eying The Little Bra Company, but I’m not thrilled with their selection. Any others?

    1. Hear me out – try looking at Aerie. Yes I know the store generally caters to teenagers and young adult women, but I do know they have sizes down to 30. Not sure about 28 in store, maybe online? And the price is good for the quality.

      1. +1 I have had shockingly good luck with anything I’ve gotten from Aerie recently. I’m in my 30s and inwardly cringe at shopping at the same place I did in high school but damn if they don’t make great fitting stuff.

      3. I’m 35 and all my bras are from aerie. I’m tiny overall and I eventually figured out that I needed a much smaller band size. So I wear a 30 C or something like that. It always seems crazy because I do *not* look like what you’d typically think of when you hear c-cup. Aerie bras also hold up well, and I am not particularly kind to them. I just buy it online now that I know what works for me.

    2. Amazon doesn’t have 26DD, but should have a lot of 28E in their “try before you buy” category (where they expect you to buy several and return the ones that don’t work). That could be a place to start if you do Amazon. The brands (Freya, Panache, Parfait, Gossard, CurvyKate) are good import brands that I wouldn’t know where to find in store.

    3. If you do need a 26 band (I sometimes do), the Polish brands (Comexin and Ewa Michaliak, spelling might be off) and UK Katherine Hamilton have 26s.

      For sport bras, the 28 band Shock absorber fits 26 band.

      Freya has good, tight 28 band bras.

      The UK brands all have 28 band, also places like Marks&Spencer. Bravissimo, Panache, Curvy Kate, Freya, Cleo (young Panache).

      Gossard superboost is a great range, probably no 28, but their 30 band is quite tight.

    4. Another vote for Aerie, might have the best luck if you can try on in store to see if they fit and then order online once you know what size works.

    5. Wacoal! I can only find them in-store at Nordstroms but they have a good return policy and stock 28s and 30s. I am small band/big bust and most of my bras are from there.

    6. Not sure about 28 but i buy 30C/D at journelle and have been very happy with them.

    7. Herroom dot com. And the best bras for the small of bust are OnGossamer, hands down. Comfy, provide a good shape, don’t look ridic. Cannot recommend highly enough.

  16. I fully recognize that this is a crazy problem to have in your 20s.
    For anyone who has conservative, no-“gardening”-before-marriage parents, did you tell them when you went on overnight trips with your boyfriend? I don’t want to hide it or. lie about it, feel too old for that, but I also know they won’t be huge fans.

    1. I think you have to know your parents. Are they willful blindness parents, who officially don’t know and don’t want to know the bedroom arrangements? Or the sort of will pursue and interrogate and then berate you for your choices? If the former, fine. I think they may assume but ultimately probably realize that you are living a normal life for your location and era. But if they are zealots, maybe I’d do it differently (and just only talk about other things with them). That sort of stuff can happen if you never leave your city, so on a certain level, they may just not want to hear the blow by blow, which is fair in any family, TBH.

      1. More the former. I don’t think they’ll start asking “how many hotel rooms did you get”, or I can just lie about that, but I don’t want to like leave the country and not tell them.

        1. In many places, you may be safer traveling with a man, so if your parents are conservative but not nosey, they may be a bit relieved that you are not subject to street harassment the way women can be.

    2. This is such a know-your-family situation. I don’t have this at all, but I have friends who do, or just have parents who are super uncomfortable with knowing their kids garden and they just avoid it. The parents know, but this way they don’t know-know. It works.

    3. Part of growing up is learning that you don’t have to tell your parents everything. You can be close and have your own life. This is a good place to start figuring out what’s yours to keep to yourself.

    4. I’ve always maintained (and continue, to some degree, even into my 40s) a “don’t ask, don’t tell” attitude regarding anything that I think would make my parents uncomfortable. Sure, I could be more in their face (and have been, if necessary), but for most things, I figure, to what end? Do they need to know this? Why have a difficult conversation when it’s not necessary?

      Of course, I guess social media can mean you have to work a little harder then just not mentioning things sometimes. :)

      1. +1. I’m very close to my parents, and a don’t ask don’t tell is my approach also. My parents are 100% no gardening before marriage but otherwise are super gardening-positive people. I didn’t really date in my 20s, but when I started dating in my 30s, I told them when I was going out of town with now-DH (they would have known I was out of town because we see each other many times per week), but I didn’t say and they didn’t ask about sleeping arrangements. I never told them when now-DH stayed over at my house, which was infrequent, and they would never dream of dropping by my house unannounced.

        1. I feel like you and I are almost the same person. I’m also very close to my parents, they are also very gardening-positive but only the context of marriage, and I also adopted a policy of just omitting some of this stuff when talking to them about plans. That being said, aside from my first serious boyfriend in high school, I did not garden with anyone I was dating and did not garden with my now-husband until we were engaged so there wasn’t a ton of omitting necessary.

        2. Okay so this makes sense. So you told them you were going out of town together but didn’t get into details about the hotel rooms. Seems very doable.

      2. “Don’t ask don’t tell” was my approach as well. I essentially lived with my boyfriend-then-fiancee in law school (but officially maintained my own apartment) and I just always happened to be at BF’s apartment when parents called! Go figure! Then-fiancee and I moved to a city after law school about two months before our wedding, and actually did lie — said fiancee was living with his parents about 45 min away from our actual apartment in the city. I have no doubt my parents did not believe it, but it made them feel better. If it’d been longer than 2 months we would not have bothered with the charade.
        All that to say, OP, I’m for maintaining the peace. If you want to tell your parents you’re staying in separate hotel rooms or rooms with separate beds, I see no issue with that. Clearly I have loose moral boundaries around these matters (lying to conservative parents), though.

    5. I told them everything but it was well known in my family that I was the heathen lost sheep. They were nice about it and everything, but yeah. If you’re trying to keep up the image of the dutiful, God-fearing daughter, obviously sharing this would harm that effort.

      1. Ha no I am the heathen black sheep in other areas so it would not be too difficult to do that in this area too.

    6. It’s been a while since I dealt with this, but I handled this by hiding/lying. Absolutely zero regrets and I 100% stand by my decision to do so today. Granted – my situation was different than yours: I was in college and spending every weekend with my DH. We got married when we young 20s, so it’s a little different life stages. I just generally don’t think that any parents need a lot of details about how I spend my time, especially when I know that they would be uncomfortable with it.

      My little sister handled it differently – she actually lived with her boyfriend, and at first did it in a family-owned house down the road from my parents – so they caught on because his car was always there. Then they openly moved in together to his apartment, and they’ve went on trips, etc. She handled it by just basically doing it, telling them, and ignoring any remarks. Since they met in their 20s and lived together for quite a while before getting engaged, I see why it’s different than my situation and they had to disclose. I do think she shares more with my parents than I would personally, but I’m generally more independent in the first place.

      My parents, while definitely are conservative-no-gardening-before-marriage-people, are at their core kind, loving, Midwestern people who generally avoid a lot of confrontation. So we (their children, having been raised by them) know there is judgment/concern going on in the background and that they don’t approve of our life choices. but if you can let go of the need to get their actual approval – which is literally never going to come – it’s easier to continue having the relationship. You have to let the relationship be what it is, not what you or they wish it is. Now my parents and I have a good – not close – relationship and I know they’re proud of me in different areas of my life, despite me not being a part of their conservative religion.

      1. I’m in my mid 20s and while I don’t care about their approval around gardening, I also don’t want to sneak around like a kid. That seems demeaning at this point. I like how your sister handled it tbh. I don’t want to tell my parents details, and its not about that, but saying you are on a trip with your boyfriend is not an unnecessarily close thing to tell your parents. They’re also not very religious or part of some very organized religion – its more of a cultural thing here.

    7. Echo the “know your parents” part. DH and I are throwbacks; we didn’t garden before marriage. We went on trips together and avoided intimacy.

      I tend to think that by the time our kid is 25, we have either passed on our values or not. Getting upset at an adult who is out of the house is a recipe for estrangement, because part of being a parent is accepting that your adult child will make decisions you don’t agree with. And that isn’t about gardening – it’s about anything!

      But if you have parents who are trying to run your life, they need to be put on an information diet, regardless of the issue.

    8. I’m from this kind of family. No way I’d mention it because they still think they can lecture/yell as if I’m 15. So yeah at times I’ve gone places and they don’t know because they’d ask who a weekend trip was with. If I really want to mention the place, I’d say I was there for a (weekday) business trip. They’ve never once caught on prob because I travel for work anyway so it isn’t unusual.

    9. DH has conservative no “gardening”-before-marriage parents (at least, when we were in our 20s and dating – younger sibs have worn them down by now), and I can’t imagine how he could go on an overnight trip without telling his parents? They would have KNOWN. There was definitely some creative photography to show people that there were two beds/rooms in some circumstances.

    10. Do they financially support you? Would they stop giving you money if they found out? That would be the only reason I would hide it. Otherwise they need to realize you’re an adult with your own life and you’re not accountable to them.

  17. Help dress me please! Work retreat in July, small company, retreat in Portugal but HQ is in London. Coming from the US East Coast with a carry-on. High temps in the 80s. I’m a director. Dressy-looking linen jumpsuits and…flats? Sandals? Sneakers?

    1. I’d take some Sue Sartor dresses and flat sandals and sneakers. I am presuming that a retreat in Portugal is going to be pretty relaxed.

          1. Not a retreat in Portugal. Retreats tend to be more resort wear, location based. I’d absolutely wear a linen jumpsuit and maxi dresses with sandals, flats and sneakers.

          2. So it’s not an external event – more of an internal strategy and teambuilding retreat. My guess is more casual than the office. But how much more casual? Sue Sartor-type dresses would probably work. I’m petite, not usually a dress person, and a little leery of being overwhelmed by rufflepuff, but maybe they’re worth a try.

    3. Brits on holiday look …. well, they don’t look dressy.

      Maybe bring a light blue, oat or off-white linen blazer that you could use a a topper over linen mix tops or blouses, striped viscose or cotton/linen tops and flowy trousers or maxi dresses (flowy or tank top style). Espadrilles or light cotton tennis shoes – maybe even white chucks – and sandals.

    4. What’s the use case here? Dress for the events you would attend. Personally I’d favour a linen dress over a jumpsuit. But it also depends on your company and events.

      Dinner…yes to the jumpsuit.
      All day casual conference…maybe linen pants and nice top
      Waterpolo match…one piece swimsuit
      So figure out the events first.

  18. Has anyone shopped in person at Ann Taylor lately? Do they have suiting in stores? How about larger sizes (14-18)?

    1. I was there yesterday. My store had a small selection of suiting and plenty of larger sizes. Overall, there’s still WAY more stuff online than available in stores though, and there were no in store promotions while online was 30-40% off regular priced items.

  19. Question for those in law. What kind of reduced hours arrangements have you seen? Is there a standard (e.g. 80%)? I am aware of the pitfalls of a reduced hour schedules, but I don’t know what types of schedules are available. Bonus if you know anything about comp for these positions. I’m a lateral trying to gather data.

    1. At my firm, you need to be at least 60% to have benefits, but I have seen it run the gamut. A lot of the lower arrangements are one-off, but the most typical is 70-85%. Comp is %-based (i.e., 70% time = 70% pay + 70% bonus, with a corresponding bump if you go more than 5% above your hours). You can DM for more info; parttimepolicy@gmail.com.

    2. I don’t think there is a clear answer to this because firms make them available on a sort of one-off basis as it suits their needs. You’ll find relative uniformity in Amlaw 100, I suspect, with a minimum of 70 or 75% hours for benefits, and then just pro rated comp (80% hours for 80% pay and bonus). I don’t know if a lot of firms are wild about people starting in these positions unless you’re counsel level, but obviously the market is wild right now.

      There are also offtrack positions sometimes available but those tend to not come through recruiters but recommendations and connections. I am chatting with one firm where I’d be basically an independent contractor able to take between 500-200 hours at an hourly rate, no benefits or standard bonus.

      1. And I’m not comfortable sharing the firm/etc here, but for that bespoke position I’d probably be at about 230-240K for ~1200 hours (no benefits, maybe just a small bonus). I could ramp that up to more hours for more money, but…. don’t want to, ha.

          1. Well, I don’t work there. By my experience about 70% of my hours worked are generally billable so I figure if I’m billing 50 24 hour weeks that’s like working 50 35 hour weeks in a year, on average with some room for misestimation. But of course it’s probably equivalent to more like a 170 pre-tax normal W-2 salary, I think.

    3. I have mostly seen 80% arrangements, but I knew one woman in biglaw who had a 60% schedule and got full benefits. She worked IIRC 9-6, 4 days a week.

      I did 80% for a long time and my comp was just pro-rated – after I was done having kids and made it out of baby fog I exceeded my hours so was able to get bonuses every year.

      1. Only in Big Law is 36 hours a 60% schedule! Oh man. I don’t work 36 hours at my “full time” job. Of course I don’t get Big Law money either.

  20. We talked about wearing your colors the other day. Whose color is the featured dress? It’s the opposite of mine (cool summer.) I always like this color but know I would look like death in it.

    1. It is an odd (hard to name) color, I think. Maybe that’s partly a function of how it looks on my computer screen. It’s most like what I would call ‘olive green’ or maybe ‘army green’, but brighter than I usually think of those being.

    3. This feels like an autumn to me. Any tips on where to get your colors done? I have a sense of what mine are, but can’t quite land on the right fit.

      1. Another opposite color for me. I look at it and admire it but I cannot for the life of me wear it. (I basically have Kate Middleton’s coloring, or rather she has mine as I’m older)

  21. How do I work on not caring about other people’s opinions at work? I know I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do, my immediate superiors are happy with me, but it’s so draining to have a lot of people unhappy with me at the same time – the client who will never be happy with anyone, co-counsel who throw me under the bus with their clients, the senior partners in other offices who are mad when I turn down their work because it’s outside my expertise or I’m just too busy, unreasonable opposing counsel, the judge who is mad at the bad client and blames me… it’s just a lot all at once. I know I shouldn’t take it personally but I do. How do I brush it off and not let it get to me?

    2. Do you have any work friends who can commiserate? That’s one of the primary roles of work friends!

      If not, try to look at the situation as if someone else was in it. I notice that I can recognize impossible circumstances and unreasonable people when I see other people trying to deal with them, but when I’m the person involved it’s all my fault, and all about things I could have done better. In reality, there’s often nothing you could have done to get a better outcome.

    3. Play the YouTube videos “The Duck Song”. My 3 year old nephew showed me them, but I like them to remind me that sometimes people are annoying ducks and there is absolutely nothing you can do to make them happy.

      On a more serious and practical note – not to be the annoying meditation person except I am that person – meditation does help me with this.

  22. What “season” am I if I have darker skin, dark brown hair and eyes, and olive green, coral pink, and yellow look great on me?

    3. Coral pink and olive means warm. Yellow isn’t specific enough to help – all seasons can have some sort of yellow. Marigold and pastel lemon are not the same season.

      Is your coral pink highly saturated? If it’s a very bright version, you are most likely clear spring, warm autum or warm spring. If it’s pastel, light spring or deep autumn. If it’s slightly off or broken with grey, you could be a soft autumn.

      Are your eyes dark and intense? Maybe deep autum. Very glittery and with golden flecks? Maybe clear spring. Are they golden and radiating warmth (think polished walnut or cherry wood), maybe warm autumn.

  23. How soon is too soon to leave after a promotion? I’ve been in my promoted role for two months, but I was groomed for this role for over a year (and doing a significant chunk of the promoted role’s work that whole time). I love my team, but I want to relocate to be closer to an elderly relative whose health has been rapidly declining (and my current company won’t allow that). I have an offer for a fully remote role with a great company that would allow me to work in the city my family wants to move to, but I’m feeling guilty for leaving so soon after officially being promoted (and also because my small team has lost several people recently to fully remote roles). I don’t want to burn any bridges by leaving too soon, but it looks like my relative may have a degenerative neurological disease (pending confirmation by specialists) so I don’t want to wait too long.

    1. I think you should make a pitch for them allowing it, making clear how you’ll still fulfill your duties and how willing you are to come back to your city for meetings/trainings, and that you’ll be forced to leave if they don’t. If your company isn’t getting the message that they’re losing talent to remote roles, it’s not something that’s really your fault. I think “caring for elderly dying relative” is pretty easy to explain as a one-off on a resume.

      1. Thanks. Does your advice change knowing that we wouldn’t be living in the same city, but would be within driving distance (currently it takes a full day of travel to visit)? We would live closer, but they live in the middle of nowhere and don’t have great schools, so we would be in a nearby big city.

        1. That is information far beyond what anyone needs to know. You moved to be closer to family who needs care. It will be obvious enough when you move from say Boston to Charlotte – no one needs to know why you moved to Charlotte and not Asheville.

        2. No, does not change. I think they’re in the moral wrong here (and being short-sighted from a business perspective). Maybe give them a long runway if you feel bad or don’t want to burn bridges.

    2. Go now. Any employer you’d want to return to will understand. Life is so short.

  24. Is anyone else just getting increasingly dejected by the Heard / Depp trial coverage? I feel like every NYTimes article highlights how cut-and-dry the case should be (no libel, a waste of a trial) but the response seems to highlight how much anger people have toward women coming forward. It seems like this is people thinking there’s a necessary correction to #MeToo happening, even though none of the problems the MeToo movement was trying to address have even come close to being solved.

    ALSO – maybe this is a hot take, but I don’t think “domestic violence” against men when perpetrated by a woman has anywhere near the same sociopolitical implications as a man hitting a woman. For women, there are centuries of economic and cultural disenfranchisement that make violence in the home fraught and incredibly oppressive. A man hitting a man isn’t as political of an issue; I feel like a woman hitting a man is even LESS of a political issue than a man hitting a man. Am I crazy here? I feel full of rage that people are acting like the most important thing is finally giving male domestic violence survivors their due, and that it’s somehow equivalent to women DV survivors, even when the guy is literally DOUBLE THE AGE OF THE WOMAN and clearly has rage and control issues.

    1. Hi, DV prosecutor here. While it’s true that the vast majority of DV victims are female, men can be and are victimized too. As a prosecutor I do not care about centuries of disenfranchisement, I care about my current victims and how I can help keep them safe.

      1. Does it seem like the impacts are the same for male victims (genuine question)? After having volunteered at women’s shelters, I feel like it’s hard for me to imagine seeing anything similar on a large-scale among men. Women who were unhoused with kids and no safety net, etc. Also men are just physically larger – it is easier for a man to kill a woman without a weapon than the reverse, by far.

        My dad got hit by his ex-girlfriend of ten years, and he always remarks on how ultimately inconsequential it wound up being, which maybe is biasing me. But I suppose the current coverage just feels like an erasure of the very real dynamics at play, and that there is so much more support for Johnny Depp when so so many women still don’t get heard or get justice every single day.

        1. In my experience, no, the impacts are not the same. What I see more often with male victims (and again, they’re the definite minority) are that they tend to be older and the abuse tends to be financial and …odder. I currently have a case where she locked him in the basement and refused him access to his medication. A power move but one that reflects her inability to dominate physically. Many men also minimize the effects of DV because they’re embarrassed to admit they got beat up by a “girl.”

          1. Oh wow – that is horrible. Thank you for that insight. I think I was biased by trying to imagine it directly reversed (i.e., many men are able to strangle a woman, but few women would be able to inflict the same amount of damage to a man), but it’s helpful to remember that there are other ways to cause harm. It’s just so frustrating to watch people rally so eagerly behind Johnny Depp as a victim, when he’s so far from perfect, and then take such ardent delight in mocking Amber Heard and minimizing everyday women’s experiences constantly.

        2. I’m not in law and I’m not following the Depp-Heard trial, but my take is that I would hate to have the judicial system make a decision on any specific case/set of facts based on “centuries of x” or “in general it is easier” or “so many women.” Because in any particular specific instance, it may well be that the male victim has faced a horrific set of circumstances and the fact (and it’s a fact) that women have generally been victimized to a far greater extent shouldn’t have any bearing on what is going on with THIS set of events. Separately, I loathe trials in the media because few people are willing to follow the entire thing with anything resembling an open mind, and so much ends up being some random hot take that may not reflect what the judge or jury is hearing/seeing at all. Yes, I do think they should be public but it makes me sad to see the silly things that happen as a result.

    2. It’s the all lives matter of gender equality. Just because DV on an individual level is equally awful – a victim is a victim after all – doesn’t mean that DV against women and men is of equal societal significance. We focus on women because they are far more impacted due to a confluence of socioeconomic and political factors. Doesn’t mean DV against men isn’t a problem, but no we’re not going to erase discourse about violence against women, specifically, because violence against men also exists.

      1. Yes!! So much more eloquently put than what I said, but exactly what I meant. I feel like so few women actually get justice, and yet much of the discourse around this trial is “finally the issue of male domestic violence victims is getting light.” It feels like that isn’t the most important issue more broadly, and yet is being used to erase the idea that there is still much work to do in protecting women DV victims.

  25. Anyone have any advice on looking for comps for a general counsel position?

    I was just offered a general counsel position at a startup in NYC, active for several years, preparing for a series B financing. I’d be the first full time GC there. They asked me to throw out a salary (there will be stock options as well) and numbers seem to be all over the place from what I’ve found so far.

    Really appreciate any advice people can offer, I’m very excited about the position!

    1. There was a recent post, I think from a lawyer, I think, about her experience as a start-up GC and what she learned and what she would do differently next time.

      I have nothing directly on point but I have a friend who’s GC/CCO at a CA startup I think more along Series E and her cash comp is like 250K with about that much in stock, at least when we last spoke maybe six months ago. Personally I don’t put much stock (ha ha) in stock options and would push on comp. It always makes me a little uneasy when legal or compliance folks are TOO vested in having a short-term financial success. Also make sure you understand what benefits are available, as it’s probably less and at a higher price than where you were before, so you can adjust your comp expectations.

      1. Thanks Cornellian, I’ll search the archives for that post!

        That’s a useful data point – I appreciate it.

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