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Hooray – Nordstrom has extended their Half-Yearly Sale for another week! You can see all of our top picks here, but I'm a big fan of these sleek booties from Sam Edelman. They look modern and polished, but the different colors and prints are a ton of fun. (There is also a great basic black!)
The shoes were $180-$200 but are now marked to $137, available in sizes 5-11 (depending on colorway).
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Anon
I’m not an early adopter of trends by any means, but I think this kind of bootie is really dated? Like I felt awkward the last time I wore it over a year ago?
Anonymous
It doesn’t seem like you have very much confidence in your opinion or your feelings.
Anon
I don’t think so. I was recently trying to figure out how long to wear my straight leg jeans and people linked me to posts about it. The whole point is not showing the top of your boot like we did with skinny jeans. So these have a narrower shaft meant to be worn under pants.
Anon
This one is pretty current. Note the square toe, the block (not tapered) heel, and the higher shaft.
Anon
They read quite dated to me as well, although I think it’s more the pattern and material (is that like a faux fur??).
Anon
yes, it’s outdated.
Anon
Yep, not booties per se, but this isn’t a current looking one.
Cat
This one is better than, say, the rag and bone tapered block heel ankle booties, but I’m still ready for all iterations of the trend to be done.
Anon
I call those the “hooves” (I actually like them but acknowledge they’re bizarre and would never be timeless).
Anonymous
I’m not an adopter of trends at all, and my first thought was ‘eww’ followed very closely by ‘I think my mother wore those in the 1970s’.
Senior Attorney
I don’t know about your mom, but I sure wore them in the 70s!!
Anonymous
So… if you think this is dated what kind of boot are you buying or wearing this year?
Anon
Personally a more western heel and toe. Or a narrower/funky heel and not a block. More pointed toe less square.
Anon
Personally a more western heel and toe. Or a narrower/funky heel and not a block. More pointed toe less square.
thanksgiving anxiety
I can’t quite put my finger on it but these aren’t right to me either. I don’t think these are embarrassing or anything but the heel shape is not current and looks dorky with the rest of the shoe for some reason. I think the toe shape kind of saves it a little bit, but I wish the square shape was even more prominent. It’d probably be ok in solid color leather, but it’s not something I would buy if I just wanted something easy to throw on without having to worry about styling it a certain way. I know I could style a particular dress/sweater with these and like the result okay but I’d always be trying to compensate for the shoes not being quite right–I wouldn’t throw these on with jeans, for example.
It’s just not giving a lot of style but the heel and faux fur makes it feel try-hard. It’s not aspirational but also not functional. If I wanted a crazy animal print boot they’d have an even higher heel and pointy toes. I’d feel more confident in a lug sole boot and also be more comfortable. If I was set on block heeled boots, I’d look for more of a trapezoid-shaped heel or even a modern iteration of a sleek cowboy boot.
Probably more of a rant than you were looking for. Man I really dislike these shoes though.
Sybil
My husband is going to Amsterdam for work in July. I’m going to go along and I’d like to extend the trip and hit another country for a few days. It looks like Paris will be the best candidate, but any other suggestions?
Anon
Belgium gets a lot of hate here but I adored it. Bruges is adorable. Brussels isn’t the most exciting city but it’s fine for a day or two and a good base for day trips to smaller cities in Belgium and the Netherlands. You can eat alllll the chocolate and waffles.
It depends how you handle heat and crowds, but I don’t enjoy Paris in July and August because it has too much of both those.
anon
+1
If you are only going to be there for a few days, this is what I would do too. I loved Belgium.
But if you’ve never been to Europe/Paris and have fantasized about it, then I can see the appeal about just traveling to Paris to see it.
Ellen
I once had a guy from Belgium that wanted to marry me, but his family wanted me to work the family farm, and I had a law degree! What were they thinking? I know that he wound up marrying another American girl who was NOT a lawyer. I believe they already had 3 kids, so he was able to succesfully plant his seeds very efficiently in her. I could have given him kids, but I also wanted to retain my legal skills, which I’ve done in the meanwhile.
NYCer
Are you willing to fly? It is an easy flight from Amsterdam to Nice, and the south of France is beautiful in July.
thanksgiving anxiety
Paris is a great choice, but I’d be sure to choose a hotel with good AC (I’ll spare you my AirBNB lecture). I’ll throw out Stockholm as an option, which is also beautiful and in my opinion is more pleasant in the summer than Paris.
Anonymous
The Thalys (Fast train) runs from Amsterdam to Brussels and Paris and makes for na easier than flying. Berlin is great, but might be hot in july (same goes for Vienna). Ik you want to fly, there are budget flight from Amsterdam (and nearby Rotterdam) to a lot of European cities, such as Lisbon, Porto, Milan, Rome and London. If you want to see more of the Netherlands, you might consider day trips to The Hague, Rotterdam, Leiden, Delft or Haarlem. Antwerp is nearby and is fun too
Anon
Rome and probably Lisbon will be way warmer than Berlin. The average July high in Rome is 90 degrees. I love love love Rome but July is not the right time to go.
Anon
If you haven’t gone to Paris, of course you should go to Paris.
And if you have gone to Paris, of course you should go to Paris again.
Senior Attorney
+1
Anon
This.
Sybil
Hahaha – that was kind of my thought. I’ve only been to Canada and Ireland so I need to tack on the best ones when I can!
anon
I would go to Paris. One smooth train ride from Amsterdam and the city is an experience you will never forget. London also has great train connections with AMS and is also worth the visit.
And let’s be real here – July will be hot everywhere in Europe. Seasides will feel nicer than hot, landlocked cities, but seaside will also be crowded bc school holidays.
Anon
How do I kindly tell my friend that I can’t host her to visit me right now? She has invited herself for a late holiday celebration…we used to always do a gift exchange/get together when we lived in the same city but I moved a few hours away last year. She is being pretty aggressive about when she can come and I hate confrontation so I may just let her but it’s not ideal as I don’t have a guest bedroom (live in a one bedroom apartment with a white couch that I don’t want people sleeping on). I DO want to see her, and the funny thing is, she has a huge house and lives alone so I could easily go to her…but I’m the one who lives in the “cool” city now which I suspect is maybe why she wants to do it here.
Anon
Tell her you are excited to see her when she is in town but don’t have space to host her. Ask her to let you know what hotel she is staying at you would love to pick her up for brunch or dinner.
Anonymous
Yes, this. It’s okay not to want overnight guests in a one bedroom flat. You are not being a bad friend.
Anon
This is so passive aggressive. Friend clearly thinks she will stay with OP. OP needs to tell her she can’t host – not just ask friend what hotel she’s staying at.
Anon
Actually, sorry. I misread your post! I see you do recommend telling her explicitly. Disregard! Reading fail!
Anonymous
If my friend said this to me I would not be coming…
anon
Ouch…. Like, if I was your friend, I’d be pretty bummed.
So, your nice white couch is more important than seeing your friend, who probably also misses living in your city?
You can throw a blanket over your couch for a few nights, or buy one of those blow up mattresses that are more comfortable than couches. Or do you never want to ever have a guest again? As I think you are going to lose this friend fast….
Anonymous
Yeah – I live in a one bedroom and just had 6 friends spend the weekend in my apartment.
You say you want to see her and yet your excuse as to why she can’t come is pretty bad. To me, you’re coming off as selfish.
Are you just planning on having no overnight guests ever?
You guys could share your bed, you could cover up the couch, or you could get an air mattress. All very easy solutions.
Anon
My bf and I eat dinner on our white couch and just put a blanket underneath us. I also used to sleep in the same bed when my friend came to visit and I only had a full. If you don’t want to see her, fine. Otherwise having a friend crash for two nights isn’t a big deal if it’s not during the workweek.
Anon
What’s the problem with having a blanket “no guests” policy? My husband and I live in NYC, and bought a one-bedroom specifically so we could say “sorry, no room” to any would-be crashers. There is no obligation to host, or entitlement to be hosted. I love my family and friends, but I love them in a hotel near me.
anon
Sure, but sounds like you are a couple. OP is a single, not in NYC. Big difference.
And sounds like she is happy to stay at her friend’s house, but not make accommodations for her friend to stay with her. Of course her friend knows how she lives, and it sounds like they have been friends for years and had holiday traditions. If the OP wants to draw her line in the sand now, I agree she comes across as a bit rigid and…. selfish.
Sure, you can have your own preferences. But when I was in my 20s and 30s, I hosted friends in my tiny 1 bedroom all the time. Because hotels are expensive, most people are not wealthy enough that they can spend $ on hotel rooms for small weekend trips etc…
Hey I’m in the 40’s now and the last thing I like is having guests in my small space, but you just have to understand sometimes friendship is compromise, and friends drop like flies the more you age, so your actions have consequences…
Anon
When I was in my 20s, I used to give up my bed for visitors, especially if they were older than me.
I’m no longer in my 20s and I’m over that. We also live in a fun city people want to visit, so lots of old friends and relatives have had the idea to “crash” here to save on hotel money while vacationing.
We have a room with a futon in it that functions as our TV-watching room. My clothes closet is also in there. We’ve told people the set up, a few have tried it, and the majority end up getting a hotel. A win, if you ask me.
Anonymous
I have never gotten a hotel when visiting a friend? this is definitely upbringing dependent but it feels so distant to invite a friend to visit then expect them to get a hotel. It would really cut into the time spent together too.
I probably do 4-5 weekends a year to see friends, it would be way out of my budget to get a hotel each time.
No Face
Personally, I think it is fine to never host people. Maybe you don’t like people in your space! Just tell them that.
Anon
Have you explicitly offered to come to her? I do most of the visiting to my BFF but it’s not because she lives in a cool city it’s because she doesn’t really like to travel and I think I’d never see her if I didn’t do the visits. I’d be thrilled if she wanted to come to me.
No Face
If it is really just the couch, a get an air mattress. If you’d rather visit her, just say so. If your place is too small to comfortably host someone overnight, say so.
I live in the Midwest and several of my friends live in very expensive cities. When they stay with me, they get a guest bedroom. When I stay with them, I sleep on the floor in the living room. We always have a blast.
Anon
Funny how often the answer boils down to “use your words” :)
No Face
To be fair, lots of people are raised to think of using their words is wrong!
Anon
I mean, you can be blunt or tactful. That’s a choice. But is it not also wrong to mislead by staying silent? And to a friend vs a stranger or someone you dislike?
Anonymous
I was also going to suggest an air mattress.
Alternatively, you could spring for a room at a hotel with a nice spa?
Anonymous
I think many people face this sort of situation eventually. Part of getting older and having more disposable income means that you stop relying on friends to do your moves and you get a hotel room when a guest bedroom isn’t available (or at least preferred by one or both of you). I even get a hotel room when visiting my folks now just because I like the privacy and not feeling like I’m disturbing anyone if I’m getting coffee super early. I think it’s OK to just say that your place is really small–maybe even offer to pitch in half on a nearby hotel/travel expense. There comes a time in life when most people don’t want to sleep on an air mattress nor feel like they have to be on tip toes around said sleeper. It’s not rude. It’s just part of adulting.
Seventh Sister
My parents pretty much always get a hotel when they visit me now. I don’t feel like we miss out on interacting because they usually come over for breakfast (or just after breakfast) and they use our place as a base throughout the day. But we are WASPs and my mom is a huge morning person, so YMMV.
Anon
Why does being a WASP matter here?
Seventh Sister
We’re mostly unable to express our emotions or engage in anything other than small talk, so we just don’t have the conversational material to keep going for more than about 10-12 hours. Also my parents and I haven’t voted for the same presidential candidate since 1996 (and even then it was only my mom who voted for Clinton). I don’t want to listen to my dad’s views on any political topic, and he’ll go there eventually since the man watches 23.5 hours of Fox News a day at home.
Anonymouse
Sounds like there is a combination of you’re nervous about where she will sleep in your small space and perhaps you don’t appreciate her telling you this visit Vs you two planning it together.
Is it possible to call her and tell her you want to see her, but are worried about sleep over space in your place? Maybe she has an air mattress she can bring. If are open to talking about what is concerning you I think you two can come up with a plan that works for you both. If you don’t host much due to your small space this is an excellent opportunity to practice and will increase your confidence and excitement for next time the opportunity comes up.
Anonymous
Just like that. “I can’t host you for a visit right now because reasons” apologize and hope she understands.
Although I do have to say if I were your friend I’d be really confused by your reasons and wonder what you weren’t telling me…because there are so many other options for sleeping than your precious white couch.
If you really want to see her as you say, find a way to make it work. You just have to tell her what you’re thinking.
Anon
My thoughts: There is no “kind” way to tell a friend you do not want her to stay in your one-bedroom apartment. You can say that your apartment is too small for her to be comfortable and suggest a hotel or that you would be happy to visit her if she does not want to incur that expense. (Please do not mention the couch; for reasons already pointed out that just sounds like a bad excuse.) You can suggest that the two of you share a hotel room in some third place. But if she persists you are going to have to come right out and say “I do not want to host you.”And let us be very clear that it is because you do not want to, not because a one bedroom is too small for a second person for a couple of days.
Then your friend can decide whether she wants to come but stay in a hotel – with all that implies for both expense and the actual time you can spend together; invite you to stay with her; suggest you get a hotel in her town because she has some reasons she “can’t” host you; or decide that you are not willing to put much effort into staying friends and take a step back on the relationship.
I will be super honest here – my house is small and in a famous tourist destination and I routinely have friends and family stay with me (some of them sleep on the couch, some on the air mattress, older relatives and pregnant people are the only ones I give my bed up for). And I have slept on a lot of air mattresses. If my whole point in going somewhere is to hang out with a friend I would probably not go if they suggested a hotel because it really cuts into the time we can actually spend hanging out (a lot of conversations happen early and late in the day) and because I would take that to mean they do not really want to see me but are too polite to come right out and say so. It would be different if I was visiting a place for other reasons and just wanted to see if friend is free for dinner, in which case I obviously get a hotel before I call them so it is clear I am not angling for an invite.
Anonymous
Not wanting to stay the night together does not equate to “they don’t really want to see me” though. That’s on you. Not everyone wants to be emotionally manipulated into having to sleep on an air mattress or having to give up privacy to ensure non-stop contact. I have IBS. It’s worst first thing in the morning. I don’t want to share a hotel room nor have anyone sharing a bathroom with me. Some people snore. Some people like to sleep with music or a fan while others don’t. There are a lot of things that are plenty good reasons to not want to have someone in your space when they don’t have to be. What’s good for you may not be good for them. While you may be OK with an air mattress it doesn’t mean everyone else should be or that it’s a sign of disloyalty or something.
Anon @ 4:56
OP is in a 1 BR – not a studio. She can sleep and snore and have her fan on without fear of keeping someone else awake, and nobody is suggesting she should give up her bed. But having a white couch as her excuse (as opposed to a health condition), reads as someone who does not really want to share her space on general principles.
I do not have thousands of dollars to stay at hotels. If someone is a good friend who has health or other issues, I would obviously understand (I have a friend I used to visit regularly; now I stay in a hotel because her elderly father who has dementia is living with her). But honestly I visit less – because she lives in an expensive city and I cannot afford it. I do not take it personally and neither does she because we talked about it like adults. This is a stage of our lives that will pass and we will still be ride or die friends. But if one of my friends said “I cannot have you sleeping on my couch in the living room”, I would indeed assume that they do not really want to see me because if they had some other reason, they would tell me.
OP has every right to not want people to stay with her; her friends have every right to decide that a friend who does not want to make the effort to host them (while apparently being happy to stay at their place) is not someone they want to put effort into maintaining a relationship with. I would only caution that friends do not get easier to make and keep as one gets older.
I value my friends. I have hosted them to various degrees of personal inconvenience. I always tell them what accommodations I can provide and what pets I have. If one of them wanted to stay at a hotel, I would certainly understand (my sister is horribly allergic to my cat). But I put considerable effort into maintaining friendships and expect some reciprocity to the extent people’s lives allow.
And I will note (because this is a pet peeve) – this applies if I am visiting a FRIEND. If I am visiting a friend’s CITY, I stay in a hotel. It can be a fine distinction because I feel no need to spend 24/7 together but it is an important one.
But this is thankfully hypothetical because my friends tend to invite me to stay the moment I mention I am considering a visit. And as always I am amazed at the very different ways the people on this Board approach issues!
Seventh Sister
I’d do it in an email, and probably use the sh*t sandwich sentence structure (nice thing, I can’t host you, nice thing). To channel my mom for a minute, if she’s a true friend she’ll understand. And you have my sympathy. One of my local friends has been super aggressive about making plans together in recent months, and I’ve definitely been dreading her phone calls. I like spending time with her, and she’s going through a lot, but I want to see her X times a quarter and she wants like 4X visits.
While I’ve hosted plenty of people (and I’ve slept on many an air mattress or sofa as a guest), my mental capacity to host people has plummeted post-COVID. I don’t even really like sharing my (three bed one bath) house with my nuclear family!
Trish
If I really did not have room, I would suggest that we both get a hotel room and have a mini-vacay.
thanksgiving anxiety
I like this idea; you could both explore a new city or at least new neighborhood.
Def don’t say the white couch thing..I literally hate house guests and don’t understand people who want to be around others 24/7 but even I would be offended by that! When my friends were younger and slept over we’d always put sheets on the sofa.
Alanna of Trebond
Any primary care physician recommendations for Westchester, NY? I have been really disappointed with medical care in New York state and with One Medical and am looking for someone good.
Anom
No recommendations since I only recently moved out to Westchester, but when I was looking for a pediatrician, I read only terrible things about dealing with the admin side of Westmed (owned by Summit Health) in the local moms fb group.
I’m keeping my PCP in the city since I still commute occasionally.
Alanna of Trebond
I also recently moved to Westchester from the city!
Anonymous
I use the WestMed in Rye for most of my doctors, though my primary care physician is in Westmed Norwalk, so I don’t have a specific rec. I’ve always found their offices easy to deal with, parking is abundant (silly, but it matters to me) and the office is easy to get to. The doctors usually run on time, and I find them to be supportive, though I’ve never had a significant health issue.
Anon
I got a pandemic puppy who is now 2. This year, for the first time, we had houseguests that our dog barked and growled at until they left (as planned) after several days. It wasn’t constant, but it was enough to be annoying (and had they not been dog owners, concerning to have a big dog growling at you). Doggo has gotten used to some local visitors, but there is usually quite a bit of initial barking (no growling though). Others, he’s more likely to bark when someone gets up or comes into the room (but no growling and often settles down after an hour or so). The barking is loud (like would not fly in an apartment but I live in a house). You’d thinking if I was OK with the visitors doggo would be, but doggo is just not wired like that. What can I do to prepare for the next houseguests (other than book the dog a staycation at where he goes for doggy day care)? Doggo is fixed, if that matters.
Anonymous
Book a few sessions with a trainer/animal behaviorist. Mine had me do some exercises like ringing the door bell and giving treats, giving treats while someone he was reactive with walked around, training him to go to a mat to calm himself, etc. Literally learned enough in about three appointments and some homework reinforcement to put a stop to the behavior. Dog is now 14 and it’s hard to remember he was ever like that. Giving him a place to go to settle himself (going to a mat) did so much to help him deal with stress. Was good even when it wasn’t about visitors. He would sometimes self-soothe by taking himself there during storms and such.
Good luck!
Anonymous
From experience of having friends with a similar dog who haven’t got it under control through trying training themselves, I’d book some 1:1 sessions with a professional. You’ll benefit from being trained as much as doggo will, my friends really struggle with children visiting, nervous adults or taking the dog to places so I think it’s the right type of issue to work on properly.
anon
My dog does this. Especially around men. She’s a rescue and we’re convinced she had some terrible interactions with people before we got her. That said, we’ve resorted to sending her to a doggie day care during days when people are here for extended stays. We’re fortunate to have a large fenced yard and also a large master suite so we send her to one of those two spaces most of the time. Plus lots of walks and cbd treats get us through.
Abby
Second getting a dog trainer or animal behaviorist. I have a rescue and we “introduce” her to everyone who comes into our house with positive reinforcement (guests are sitting, we clicker train and feed). It gives her an opportunity to smell them without feeling threatened and has changed her behavior for the most part when we have people over. I only recommend positive reinforcement!!
Anon
I applaud you for wanting to fix the issue and not just hope it goes away on it’s own. Or kennel your pup away from visitors. My parents have a dog that’s like this. She is about 12 year old, 90+ lb dog. She use to just growl when she was young but it has escalated to biting feet. I have to wear heavy boots every time I visit them.
Smokey
You should have special treats available for all guests at your home to feed the puppy.
Anon
For using a Rogaine-type product on your eyebrows, is there something specific for eyebrow hairs? I don’t want to grow hair over my eyelids and forehead or dump Rogaine into my eyes.
Anon
Revitalash has a product for eyebrows that works
Anon
+1 to Revitabrow for brows and lashes.
Cat
+2
Anon
I want to caution against this. It’s certainly not going to hurt your brows, but it may well do nothing. Products specifically meant for the lashes are absorbed by that mucus membrane-like skin at the base of your lashes. It won’t really penetrate the regular skin at the base of your brows as well.
Anonymous
It is a different product.
thanksgiving anxiety
I’d also want to know whether it has the same risk for orbital fat loss as revitalash? I’m not trying to look older over here for the sake of same lashes or brows :(
anon
I used the foam formulation of minoxidil (generic rogaine) when I started losing hair, and just rubbed a touch on my brows after applying to my scalp. Takes 3 seconds. It is easy to apply with your fingers and shouldn’t drip on your eyes/eyelids and is easy to wipe off with a facecloth or wash your face after if you are worried you ?touched someplace else. But honestly hair growth with Rograine takes repeated use for weeks/months so it is not like a couple odd drips will cause a problem.
I don’t think you can grow hair on your eyelids… I don’t think there are any hair follicles there!
anon
I used the foam formulation of minoxidil (generic rogaine) when I started losing hair, and just rubbed a touch on my brows after applying to my scalp. Takes 3 seconds. It is easy to apply with your fingers and shouldn’t drip on your eyes/eyelids and is easy to wipe off with a facecloth or wash your face after if you are worried you ?touched someplace else. But honestly hair growth with Rograine takes repeated use for weeks/months so it is not like a couple odd drips will cause a problem.
I don’t think you can grow hair on your eyelids… I don’t think there are any hair follicles there!
Anon
Those of you who have scarf collections, how do you fold them? I have one square Hermes in a box, but that’s the only one I keep in original packaging. The rest, which are mostly non-valuable, but I do have one Missoni and two Etro, are usually hung over the bar of hangers grouped by basic color. However, that was taking up a lot of room in my small closet, so I tried folding them and putting them on a shelf in my closet, but that’s just messy and unwieldy.
What do you do with yours?
Anon
I have them all jumbled together in a big box but none of them are expensive, really nice ones.
anon
Look up “HJJ 10 Pack Durable Stackable Wardrobe Clothes Organisers, Anti-Wrinkle T Shirt Folder Storage Holders Board, for Socks Baby Ties and Scarves”. I’ve used this for years and it keeps the nice scarf pile completely manageable and nicely stacked up on top of each other.
anon
Adding on – you can find similar (and cheaper) concepts lots of places, that was just the first hit I found online.
Anon
Interesting, how many do you stack on each tray/board? Because I have … way more than 10 scarves!
anon
anon above – I can get about 2 between each layer of plastic. It does get a bit less stable when there is a ton but solves the “I only have space to stack and need to create some form of order” problem.
Anonymous
I’d buy a pretty basket to coral them on the shelf.
BB
My favorite is a “swivel towel rack,” which is basically a thing you affix to the wall and it has arms that swing out. I used to have one with 8 or so arms and I could fold a scarf in half and have 2 per arm. The thing folds almost flat against a wall, so it was perfect. I couldn’t find a way to fit one of these into my current closet (although you’re reminding me that maybe it’s time to try again), so I have a single hanging thing that has these round openings to put scarves through. I don’t like this as much as I feel like they get smushed.
Anonymous
For non-valuable ones I’d do something like this – https://www.amazon.com/InterDesign-Organization-Pashminas-Accessories-Compartments/dp/B007FTUC02/ref=sr_1_7?crid=9WWUDXQMUWZA&keywords=scarf+hanger&qid=1672779323&sprefix=scarf+hange%2Caps%2C284&sr=8-7
Anon
I might try one of those for the less precious ones, thanks!
Anon
one like that but not metal, it snags. use the raffia wrapped ones.
MagicUnicorn
I keep mine folded in a shoebox-sized plastic bin with a lid. None are terribly precious, although I do have a few silk ones. They all get the same treatment.
Anonymous
I keep mine in a sealed rubber bin with cedar. A lot of them are cashmere wraps that were splurges and I don’t want to risk moths.
Anon
I have mine folded in a hanging she storage bag. It holds lots, and I can see everything.
Anon
*shoe storage bag. It’s canvas and has shelf like compartments arranged vertically.
Anon
I have seen those but unfortunately don’t have the closet rod space. Old house, tiny closets.
Senior Attorney
I have something similar to this and it’s pretty great, although granted it’s not an option unless you’re re-doing your closet. https://www.decorpad.com/photo.htm?photoId=136472
Anon
WOW
Anonymous
I use these: https://www.containerstore.com/s/closet/hangers/chrome-metal-4-tier-swing-arm-pant-hanger/12d?productId=10033111
you can layer them on top on each other, too
New Year's Sad
Ugh, it’s my first day back at work after the holidays, and I’m still in a job I hate. I’ve been job searching for a while, but I haven’t landed anything or even been a finalist for any jobs. I just feel so defeated that I’m still at this company in 2023. I want to quit and have the savings to be fine for a while, but I’m afraid not to have health insurance and afraid I’ll have even more trouble finding a job while unemployed. Anyone else able to commiserate?
MBAMags
I have no helpful advice, just sitting here in the same boat with you!
Anonymous
Could have written your post except for having been into final stages for two different positions in 2022 where interviewing spanned a matter of months for each. One was a dream job where they eliminated the position after what I was told was the final round of interviewing. It still stings every time I see news related to the company. Like was just crushed and feel like nothing better will ever come along again. The other opportunity in fairness was probably a bullet dodged. I really liked the people I interviewed with until I met the people who would be colleagues in the last round and they didn’t seem friendly in the least. The amount of time interviewing took given the size of the organization also felt off–like it should never have taken that long, especially since they had approached me to apply (what was gross was that they all but promised it to me but then hiring manager kept gasping over how many applicants they had once the position was posted publicly). Like I said, probably a bullet dodged. But still sad that I sunk all that time and am stuck here still.
I hate sending out resumes and I hate interviewing even worse. But I know it’s the only way out of this dreadful slog. Just feels almost impossible while I wallow in work up to my ears at this nowhere job.
I guess my only advice would be to keep applying even if you are progressing well in interviews. Even something that feels like a sure thing can disappear in a moment.
Anon
Same boat. I applied to probably 15 jobs in the last six months, almost all of which were a really good fit for my fairly unique background and I got zero interviews, not even a screening call. My interview skills may not be the strongest, but since I didn’t even get to the interview stage that doesn’t explain this. It’s really frustrating and demoralizing.
Anon
Just posting with commiserations. I’ve also been applying for dozens of jobs, only got one interview and didn’t get the job (with no feedback yet forthcoming). I’m feeling really dispirited about heading into the new year still in the same position.
Anonymous
Shop for me? I’m looking for a fun sweater that walks the line between fancy going out top and regular ol cashmere sweater. I want something that doesn’t look like I tried too hard if we end up going to a brewery but doesn’t look like I didn’t try at all if we end up at a nicer restaurant that’s still jeans appropriate. We moved recently and we’re starting to go out to dinner/drinks with neighbors but I don’t really know the vibe yet. I have the perfect silk dress for this sort of thing in the summer but my winter wardrobe isn’t up to snuff. I was thinking maybe something sparkly or velvet? Suggestions?
Anon
I was just looking at this in the fawn color
https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/sweaters/cardigan/v-neck-cardigan-sweater-in-supersoft-yarn-with-crystals/BM191?display=standard&fit=Classic&color_name=hthr-umber&colorProductCode=BM191
I like the set together but the pieces separately could be very useful too.
Anon
I have a different JCrew sweater in the “super soft” yarn. It began pilling badly after about half a dozen wears. I can gently take a razor to it, but you wouldn’t be able to do that with a beaded sweater. It’s a shame too because the “super soft” fabric is in fact, super soft.
Anon
That’s too bad. What I like about that sweater/set is that the fawn color looks expensive and not too “look at me” but the sparkle adds the fun. And it’s not overly sparkly, so I think it walks the line well.
For me personally, I’d be looking at resale sites for a similar thing, because this is the kind of thing people are clearing out after the holidays right now. Plus, I’m just a resale shopper. Eileen Fisher makes some sort of sparkly sweater every year, and velvet pieces too, and I’m sure the fabric is much nicer on those.
pugsnbourbon
I’m low on “going out” clothes too! What about something with an open back? Like this: https://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=525274022&pcid=999&vid=1&&searchText=ines#pdp-page-content
There’s a dress version too.
anon
My first thought was Bash’s open back sweater. It is GORGEOUS and super s*xy.
Anonymous
I don’t usually think of velvet for sweaters – maybe something like this? what stores do you usually shop at?
https://tnuck.com/collections/ladies-sweaters/products/plum-crewneck-violet-sweater
or this – https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/maeve-plush-v-neck-sweater?color=045&type=STANDARD&quantity=1
Nina
I’m in love with that Anthro sweater is Maeve. I wonder if it’ll ever go more on sale.
thanksgiving anxiety
girl, it’s extra 40% off sale right now at Anthro, just add it to your cart!
Anon
Sezane has the answer to this. Lots of great sweaters like you’re describing.
DC In-house Counsel
I’m obsessed with this brand of sweater – so soft! And the shimmer one linked below might fit the bill. https://thereset.com/collections/sweaters/products/the-shimmer-funnel?variant=40693759639604
Anon
Thank you! Debating a little on size but the wine colored one will be mine!
DC Inhouse Counsel
They run oversized, so if in between I would size down.
Anne-on
I just bought this at Brooks Brothers which fits the bill nicely – they also have some cute buffalo plaid and sparkly holiday options.
https://www.brooksbrothers.com/lambswool-metallic-sweater/WY00957.html?dwvar_WY00957_Color=CHAR
Anon
Love this one:
https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/by-anthropologie-puff-sleeve-shimmer-sweater
Or, for something cozier but still shimmery:
https://www.anntaylor.com/shimmer-mock-neck-sweater/599595
Senior Attorney
I bought this one recently (was it featured here?) and it was a big hit over the holidays: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/kimberly-houndstooth-roll-neck-sweater/7185837
Anonymous
Something like this might work?
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/wit-and-wisdom-wit-wisdom-rhinestone-embellished-sweater-nordstrom-exclusive/6534283
Anonymous
Something like this?
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/wit-and-wisdom-wit-wisdom-rhinestone-embellished-sweater-nordstrom-exclusive/6534283
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/cece-puff-long-sleeve-crepe-top/6472045
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/puff-sleeve-velour-top/7165536
thanksgiving anxiety
If you’re comfortable in something form fitting, I’d do a sweetheart neckline sweater. Aritzia and Reformation have a lot of them right now.
Cat
I like slouchy low v-neck cashmere for the “looks effortless but still warm” type of outing. Vince made my fave from last year.
AnonAnon
Anyone do a whole-foods, plant based diet? I’ve been doing lots of research and feel like there are so many benefits to it that I would like to give it a try. However, the few times we have gotten even close to a conversation about it my meat and potato eating H has not been supportive and has even tended to make fun of it, “how can anyone not eat any meat”? To the extent that I have been reading lots of books on the subject and he got super mad at me for not sharing what I was reading and when I tried to share he got mad and started making fun of it.
I am starting to feel that deep down this is something I want to do regardless of what he chooses to eat. Has anyone successfully done this without support from an SO?
Anon
I have been a vegetarian since forever and my husband is fine with it. He eats meat; I don’t. We cook proteins separately or eat a “don’t miss the meat” meal (enchiladas with beans, veggie lasagna, veggie tacos, ravioli, etc.).
No Face
Why is your husband getting mad at you about books and making fun of something you’re interested in?
Vicky Austin
+1 – I know it’s not what you asked, OP, but your SO doesn’t sound like he’d support anything you wanted to do.
Trish
Oh Lord. It has nothing to do with her books or interests. Some meateaters feel defensive when anyone suggests going plant-based on vegetarian. And to generalize, this is especially men. They just have to find a way to buy food and plan meals around it and she has to be clear that she won’t bug him to stop eating meat.
Anon
+1 a lot of men are weirdly defensive about eating meat.
OP to your question, I eat meat but have greatly reduced my consumption. My husband isn’t really into any plant based stuff that’s marketed that way but will happily eat vegetarian for dinner for like a full week without noticing. I just eat what I want and ask if he wants some. If he wants something else he can always make something else. Same for him, if he’s making something that I don’t want, I just make something else.
People in general get super defensive about food and health choices. I know there’s research about social support being important for sustaining changes but I find that I am more successful with super selective sharing and mostly keeping to myself. Unless someone is also interested in changing or already has a habit, in my experience a lot of people think you are eating plants at them or not drinking at them. Just keeping quiet about my changes has been way more successful.
Also I don’t think my husband had ever eaten a salad not caked in bacon bits, ranch dressing and a pound of cheese but now he happily eats salads a few times a week with me. Just changing my own habits slowly wore off on him
Anon
Yeah, this is the problem.
Anonymous
Anecdotally, I can say that I am a member of a FB group in which there seem to be a lot of women who follow this diet while their husbands do not. I am not interested in it for myself, even though I often eat this way, because my only food rule is that I don’t make restrictions around food, but I could see it working if you can get away from “beef stew” and “hot dish” kinds of meals and simply build plates with individual elements, one of which could be meat that lands on his plate and not yours. But if you are a cook who uses a Crock Pot for a one-pot meal with sixteen ingredients all thrown in together every night, you are going to have to make a lot of adjustments to meal planning and preparation that might just be too much if you are not on the same page.
Anon
I’m a longtime vegetarian, now mostly vegan. My husband is not. I just cook what I want to eat and my husband is welcome to eat it too. If he doesn’t want to eat it, he cooks something else. It works fine. I make plenty of things where he can add meat or dairy if he wants, but he eats much less meat now than when we met 15 years ago.
anon
I am moving towards a whole-foods, plant based diet. I don’t think I will ever go completely vegan, as for me to get the balance of protein / calcium I need and for food preferences, I am not ready yet to cut occasional eggs/dairy/fish, but we’ll see how things go. As I get more and more comfortable with adding new dishes to my dinner rotation, I may move more…
I agree that the medical studies of benefits are hard to ignore. I love food so much and really enjoy lots of things that aren’t great for me, but making smaller changes over time has worked really well.
I agree with the other poster that you should cook what you want for you, and give your husband the choice of joining you, or adding a protein of his choice. So it is easy to have parts of the diet that you share – eg Quesadillas, but you have black beans and he puts rotisserie chicken in his + black beans. Then you make additional vegetable side dishes, salads etc.. that you share. Or you make a stir fry and put the tofu on top of your serving and he can cook some shrimp or beef or whatever.
I would shut down his laughing at you though. If you can, try to bring up the discussion with him at a quiet time, not when you are eating, and mention how it makes you feel when he does this to you.
Cat
The blogger Carolina charm has shared meals that work for both vegan and non vegan family members. Essentially it’s a similar base, like taco salad, but different proteins.
But seriously your H sounds really annoying.
Anonymous
Yes I do this without support. You know him better so it’s hard to give specific advice.
In general and in no particular order:
1) Fewer meals with meat, over time
2) Less meat in those meals that include it; and
3) Influence by funding tasty substitutes and slowly increasingly vegetable intake…when he sees you getting healthier he might be inclined to follow suit of his own free will.
In more detail:
1) Another tip I’d recommend is to find some non-meat meals that the household really enjoys. For my family it’s things like lentil stew (this was unexpected as I have 3 kids but they love it), kebabs with hallumi cheese rather than meat, and a few other things that came around by experimentation.
2) In meat based meals, I use less meat, for example for chilli add kidney beans; for bolognese sauce there’s more veggies in the mix like zucchini and aubergine, for a fry up there’s more mushrooms and maybe an extra egg but a little less bacon. The other thing was better quality meat (grass fed, organic, better cuts, etc). We eat less of it so it’s more affordable and I think it’s more healthy so don’t mind that meat as much. But no hot dogs for example (fine if someone is serving them at a kids birthday party etc).
3) There are surprisingly tasty substitutes like impossible burger branded veggie burgers (they do other things in their range). They do not sponsor me. I was certain many decades ago and nothing like that good was available!
Best of luck. Didn’t realize this meant so much to me haha
shanananana
My parents have done a version of this for nearly 30 years. My mom became a vegetarian when I did at 13 (Originally it was to make sure I was eating healthy enough, but I made it about 7 years and then returned to eating meat) and she did add back in fish about 12 years ago to help with her cholesterol. My dad is very much not and grew up in a everything is made with bacon family in the midwest. They usually do one vegetarian meal a week, and overall it made my dad healthier plus he gets better quality meat since my mom is buying smaller quantities and in her mind is still spending less money overall. He also does a lot more grilling, but I think that’s partially just a nice grill and retirement. The biggest change, which is how I do most cooking still today, is that only the main will be meat. Everything else in a meal is vegetarian and she either only eats those things, or adds another component for herself.
Based on what you said, I would honestly just start incorporating more whole foods and plant based while still keeping a meat component for him and just stop talking about it.
Anonymous
Bougie question: how much are you paying in fees on your investments? Most of our stuff is in Vanguard because of the very very low fees but I just noticed my disabled son’s STABLE account is charging a QUARTERLY fee of $7. He only has like $2500 in there, so I’m a little outraged… (he’s 8).
Explorette
I use betterment and I think they charge 0.3%
Anon
$7 quarterly seems like a low fee? You’ll pay that much for a checking account at many banks.
Trish
Not for minors.