ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 391 Comments

Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Geo-Print Tie-Front Satin Shirtdress

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

A woman wearing a navy/maroon shirtdress with silver heels

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I love the geometric print on this Tahari ASL shirtdress. The satin fabric can veer a little weekend-y, so I’d pair it with a classic navy blazer and some understated jewelry for the office.

Do note that the reviews suggest that it runs a little large, so I might size down on this one.

The dress is $159 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 2–14.

This plus-size option from NY Collection is available in a ton of prints in sizes 1X–3X; it's $58 at Macy's.

Sales of note for 5/8/25:

  • Nordstrom – Up to 50% off select styles + 15% off fragrance (exclusions apply; ends 5/11) + give $150 in gift cards, earn a $25 promo card (ends 5/13)
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off your full-price purchase + extra 40% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% everything + extra 25% off
  • Boden – 10% off new women's styles
  • Eloquii – $25+ select styles + extra 45% off all sale
  • J.Crew – Up to 50% off must-have styles + extra 50% off select sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + extra 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
  • Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance styles + gift cards give $100, get $20
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off all tops, pants, jeans, and shorts + 25% off all markdowns

391 Comments

  1. This looks like the robe a heroine is casually yet angstily wearing when her beau-not-beau-but-beau drops by in a melodramatic B&W Hollywood classic. A mellow jazz cover of Baby It’s Cold Outside plays in the background.

    2. I have a dress in a similar style and color. Believe it or not, it’s very versatile. You can wear as you describe but it also looks awesome with a black moto style jacket and booties.

    3. Huh, I love it. It’s hard to find work dresses to wear under blazers – I find sheaths too uncomfortable for an actual long day at the office. I think this is a great pick.

      1. I also love it. I actually do have a dress in a similar length and color that is way more kimono than dress and I end up basically never wearing it out of the house and this feels very formal in comparison.

      2. +1 – I love it. And as someone with a thicker waist and small torso, I love the cinched waist. I also LOVE a robe, so this tracks :)

    4. I really love the back of this dress a lot, but I agree about the front…..like I want to fix the top half of the front but I’m not sure how.

      1. The top is draping poorly on the model’s left side in this photo. I think it looks better in the photos of other colors, like amethyst, as it is pulled in more at the waist.

  2. Ugh. I am realizing that all of my newer black dresses are skewing a bit c*cktail / weekend / fancy vs something that is truly desk-to-dinner. Any current recommendations for current plain black dresses, A-line if possible, in a winter fabric that is lined so that it won’t be grabby over tights (for some reason, unknown to me, slips always seem to be visible or too short on knee-length dresses; I’ve only gotten them to work well over midi skirts). I had a great MMLF Etsuko but it’s a size too small currently.

      1. That second dress is great. Not the OP but thank-you, just what I was looking for too.

      2. I tried that houndstooth dress and wanted to love it, but the mock neck was too constricting for me. Looks great otherwise!

    2. Etsukos are often available on resale sites. How about just buying one in your current size?

  3. Thank you to everyone who commented about a black work tote that will fit under a plane seat well yesterday!

    Do any of you have one of these that will fit a 16″ laptop? I currently have a Beis Large Work Tote, which fits my laptop but is just a bit cumbersome and can get heavy. Thanks in advance!

    1. I have a 16″ personal laptop and bottom line, my laptop is going to be heavy and cumbersome to carry no matter what bag I use. I made my life a lot easier by buying the slimmest/lightest laptop I could afford (Asus Vivobook) but there’s no getting around that a 16″ laptop is a bigger laptop and it’s going to be cumbersome to transport. I recommended a Lo and Sons OG 2 yesterday; I also have a Lo and Sons Seville tote and both of them will fit the laptop, but the computer takes up a LOT of room in the bag. I don’t know how to solve that problem other than getting a bigger bag, which might be bigger than I want to carry, or that won’t fit under an airplane seat. For that reason, I sometimes travel with a tablet with a keyboard case instead of lugging my laptop along.

      1. Thank you so much for the followup! Great to know that your 16″ fits in the OG2 – does it fit in the laptop sleeve? The website and their customer service yesterday said a 16″ would only fit in one of their backpacks and not in the other totes.

    2. My current work laptop is 16 inches and it fits in my Longchamp. I prefer my older laptop that was 13 inches, but I haven’t had to remove anything I normally carry to make room for the 16 inch device. I have never used an insert before so can’t speak to whether there are inserts/bag organizers that would fit into a Longchamp and also accommodate a 16 inch laptop.

  4. I had to ask some former colleagues some questions and it didn’t take them that long to answer, but I wanted to send a token of appreciation because they really helped me out. Can you send starbucks gift cards or something similar over text?

    1. How nice for you to make this gesture.

      But, call me crazy – is it that hard to send a “Thank you” card on professional grade stationary?

      I mean…. a gift? Over text? Really?

      Call me old school, I guess…

      2. Ehh, for something small I absolutely would text. My favorite move is sending friends $5 via Venmo for a coffee if they’re having a rough day.

      3. I don’t get the pearl clutching over this. It’s a very thoughtful gesture and text is convenient for both the giver and receiver.

    4. Definitely give them a heads up if you do it, if I got this I’d assume it was spam!

    5. I am also not sure about over text, but I had a colleague help me out in a time of need and I sent a starbucks giftcard via email. Agree that sending money over Venmo would also be nice for a coffee if you know they have Venmo.

    6. I don’t know about starbucks, but I have had good luck with gift cards to JustEat. Had to buy on their webpage, but it was shared with the recipient through text.

      1. This is a good option. My field might just be different but over text is perfectly appropriate here. I don’t have their home addresses to mail them something and I actually don’t even have one of their email addresses.

  5. Im sorry for the TMI. Please scroll past if needed.

    I am 27 F with family history of breast cancer and I have personally had thyroid cancer at age 21 so I have health axniety. Noticed my left b00b (not sure if the medical term will get stuck in moderation, apologies) feels sore (specifically the brown area and near armpit). Felt around and I feel a movable lump. Google says this can happen leading up to period (which I’m supposed to get in 5 days). I scheduled an appointment with PCP office in 2 weeks. Has anyone experienced this before?

    1. Is it right below the surface of the skin? If so it could just be a skin issue like a sebaceous cyst.

        1. The fact that you can feel it easily doesn’t mean it’s a skin (sebaceous) cyst. A sebaceous cyst is very different than a breast cyst.

    2. Yes. Got a mammo and a biopsy and it was just a cyst. Definitely get it checked out but statistically it’s probably nothing concerning.

    3. I have not had that specifically but I wanted to chime in that I am high risk for cancer (specifically breast) and was able to work through my OBGYN and PCP to get into a high-risk cancer screening protocol (I get a mammogram once a year, see a high-risk cancer doc once a year and do an MRI once a year – alternating 6 months with the mammogram.) I would inquire about this with your docs to see if they can do the assessment and see if you qualify. Then you would have more peace of mind that you were being monitored and if I had a question like this, I know I could call that high-risk cancer person and get an answer or appt quickly. (It’s at Rush in Chicago). Good luck!

      1. Thank you for sharing this.

        Do you know if your health insurance covers all of this testing as Preventative and pays for it, or do you have to pay for it all (if you have a high deductible plan)?

        My doctor has talked to me about MRI as an alternative, but I have a hard enough time most years getting my health insurance to even pay for my Mammogram, and haven’t been able to get them to pay for the ultrasounds that they almost always recommend as well since I have dense fibrocystic breasts. I hate that cost should dictate how I do my cancer screening, but MRIs are so expensive, especially if I do them at the academic hospital that has the MRI machine my doctors prefer.

        I hate health insurance….

        1. I also have a HDHP (hi, it’s me, we paid $11k in medical bills in 2022 because our family plan deductible is $13k…it sucked). My understanding is that any screening your doctor recommends should be preventative regardless of family history, but then if they find anything it immediately gets coded diagnostic and not preventative and any further testing will be out of your pocket until the deductible is met. Of course if they find something, you’ll be more glad you did the testing. Your doctor should be able to confirm how it will be billed.

    4. Yes, it’s pretty common to have benign breast cysts in the days leading up to your period. Had my last annual exam a couple days before my period was due, and my doctor found a small lump. She was pretty sure it was benign, but sent me for ultrasound anyway, and the ultrasound tech had trouble even finding the lump since my period had started in the interim. They eventually found it with the help of a doctor and confirmed that it was a fluid-filled cyst, which are always benign, so no need for biopsy. I hope the same for you, but I know it’s nerve-wracking.

    5. Yes, at 21 I found a lump. Have br. cancer history in my family. Doc thought it was a cyst, waited some months (maybe 6), stayed there, decided to biopsy because of family history. Was a cyst.

    6. I’m your age and I’ve had this happen twice. I was referred by my PCP to get an ultrasound and both times the radiologist concluded I also needed a biopsy as the ultrasound showed it was a solid mass and not a cyst (liquid filled). Both times it has been benign, but it seems to pop up every few years for me. Like you, I have a family history and thus am always nervous and assume the worst when it happens.

    7. I have bre@st cysts and manage them with low to no caffeine intake (especially leading up to peri0d), attempting to get a variety of green leafy vegetables in my diet (green smoothies with citrus make this easier), and not eating sugar. Or really avoiding the highest fructose stuff like HF corn syrup in ingredients.
      Of course get it looked at for peace of mind, but know you can manage benign cysts quite a bit through your diet.
      I hope you can get this resolved quickly and feel better about it all soon!

      1. ….or you can just decide to have breast cysts. They don’t hurt, they’re not cancer or pre-cancer, and I can’t imagine depriving myself of many foods I enjoy just to avoid them.

    8. I totally understand how you feel, and am sorry you have to be vigilant about this at such a young age.

      Fortunately, what you’ve described so far sounds more benign to me. While you should always always get any new lump checked out, I learned that the ones that tend to be sore and the ones that are more mobile are more likely to be benign. That area you found the lump is important for finding lymph nodes and they can also be sensitive or swollen with lots of benign things like lymph nodes swollen for benign reasons (eg. virus infection), cysts and small lipomas are also found there.

      Let us know how things go after your doctor’s appointment.

    9. Getting it checked out is the right call, but my understanding is that the vast majority of br3@st lumps that turn out to be cancer are not painful. Lumps that are sore or cause soreness around them are far more likely to be one of the many other basically harmless things.

  6. What are your best good habits?
    I set my exercise and work clothes out before I go to bed.

    1. Prep lunch the night before so I can just toss containers into bag as I head out the door.
      Weekly make 6 hard boiled eggs & container into packs of 2
      1x week deal with all bills and incoming paperwork: pay & enter into personal software

    2. It sadly took me years to learn, but I put my car keys in the same place every single time I come home.
      I’m also really good about using and cleaning a humidifier during winter months so my skin isn’t like an alligator.

        1. Ugh… not the prior poster, but cleaning our large (house – sized) humidifier is my most hated seasonal task.

          The manual tells you to do it weekly, but I’d rather put an icepick in my eyeball. So instead, I use those additive solutions every time I fill the tank – one that both softens the water and has antifungal/antimicrobial properties. And I am more vigilant about replacing the disposable filters (every 1-2 months, or if the odor is concerning). And then if I am a saint, I wash it once (as the manual instructs) during the winter, about mid-way, and once at the end of the season.

          1. One of the things I love most about my husband is that he scrupulously maintains all of our air filters AND cleans out the humidifiers weekly without nagging or complaint. I would literally rather do 6 loads of laundry than clean out the humidifier. I realize that makes no sense but it is what it is.

          2. I can never find good whole house humidifiers and don’t mind cleaning them. do you like yours?

    3. Stay on top of laundry so that it doesn’t become A Thing.

      Fill up my car’s gas tank on the way home from work every Thursday so that it’s never too low, should I get stuck in traffic or there is some issue with obtaining gasoline. I’ve got a short commute, so it’s usually at or a little below half.

    4. Some of mine echo others’:
      1. Putting my keys on the key plate at the entry to my house
      2. Keeping my week’s workout clothes all together (including underwear and socks) in a bin on my dresser for easy access
      3. Eating vegetables with every meal with very few exceptions
      4. Running the dishwasher often and emptying it promptly/keeping an empty sink

      1. Living in NYC after graduation trained me into washing the dishes/wiping down the counters/emptying the trash on a nightly basis. Because roaches. I still keep it up to this day and it makes a huge difference in the overall cleanliness level of our house (once I start on the dishes/counters I usually also find 5 extra minutes to sort/toss junk mail/put away amazon orders/break down boxes/tc.

    5. Flossing every night. I’m like a broken record on this. But on a night where I’m tired and don’t want to do anything but fall asleep, I tell myself all I have to do is floss. Then I end up brushing my teeth and washing my face too.

      1. I floss every other day, because I know if I tried to do it every day I’d fail and give up entirely.

    6. This was my New Year’s resolution last year and it stuck: Remove my makeup and brush my teeth every single night, without fail, no matter what. And because I am such a princess, I got a baby wipe warmer for my makeup remover towelettes and now it feels luxurious and fabulous instead of cold and sad.

      Also: Clean up and “close” the kitchen right after dinner so we wake up to a clean kitchen in the morning.

      1. OMG, a baby wipe warmer for make-up wipes? This is genius. My life could be changed. Seriously. Thank you for sharing!

    7. – Work out in the morning
      – Make a to-do list for the next day at the end of each work day
      – Clean up and “reset” the kitchen every night after dinner
      – First-floor tidy most evenings…sometimes this doesn’t happen (and our house is not huge), but it’s such a game-changer to have stuff in its place when you wake up in the AM
      – Always have a Donate bin going

  7. Can we talk about nutrafol or other hair supplements for a second? I feel like the hair on my part is thinner than it used to be and I am interested in fixing it. But I’m also generally a low intervention kind of person – I don’t have a lot of risk tolerance for side effects from cosmetic treatments. Has anyone taken it? Does it work? Are there side effects? Looking to hear from someone who isn’t Alyssa Milano. Thanks.

    1. I think the NYTimes just published an article on this within the last 2 weeks – TLDR is that the supplements don’t do much if anything, but that Rogaine in pill form is both cheap and very effective. I’d skip the other stuff and just go straight to your derm for a scrip for that.

      1. I’m pretty sure if there’s a deficiency supplements can help (and are also necessary for the deficiency). Happened to me with iron.

    2. My dermatologist recommended Nutrafol + Rogaine for Women 5% foam for the same issue. Been doing it for 18 months. No side effects. Moderate results (nothing got worse (which it should with age) and new hair did grow (but it is shorter than its neighbors, so it will take time to blend in).

    3. I would mention your hair loss to your doctor, and they should at least check the basic vitamin deficiencies that can exacerbate hair loss – especially iron, B12, folate. There are other B vitamins that can cause hair loss if you are deficient but they aren’t routinely checked. Many PCPs are interested in hair loss, but if you like your PCP it’s worth a shot. I say this because the hair supplements each include different things (most of the things are likely not helpful), but if they don’t include what you actually need then… what’s the point?

      I think that many derms just reflexively tell folks to take one of the hair supplements because its an easy way to just cover some bases of common deficiencies that can contribute to hair loss. But that is sloppy because many/most of the supplements don’t include iron, which is actually one of the most common deficiencies in women, or other vitamins that can be useful. However, you really shouldn’t just go take iron on your own without having your primary care doctor check your blood test for iron/hematocrit etc.. first because taking iron can make you constipated and give you an upset stomach and has other side effects if you take too much. It also interacts with several medicines and other vitamins (like calcium) so you need to separate it from some other meds / spread it out appropriately throughout the day for it to work well. And some folks require IV iron for repletion. So you should only take it if you need it and your doctor is keeping an eye on your levels.

      Another problem is that many Dermatologists sell a “medical grade” formulation of Nutrafol and Viviscal and there are many others. The real data on them is poor, and the Dermatologists have a conflict of interest because they profit when you buy the supplements from them. And the “medical grade” is just B.S in most cases. So just because something is Dermatologist recommended, doesn’t mean it works.

      I had a dermatologist admit that most people should not waste their $$ on the supplements, but should talk with their doctors to see if they have a hormonal/deficiency/stress contributor to their hair loss, and only spend their money on the pricey supplement mixes if $ is no object for them. So I stopped the supplement (it wasn’t clearly helping me), make sure my iron is in a good range, and take a basic MVI supplement to make sure my B vitamins are good (I also eat mostly a plant based diet, so I need to make sure I get enough B12 anyway), and I make sure I eat enough protein. I also take minoxidil in the pill form, but started with the topical and saw that it worked for me.

    4. I’ve posted here before about my hair loss struggles – my derm told me Nutrafol and Viviscal are very expensive and not proven to do much that a regular multivitamin can’t or won’t do. She told me to get a regular women’s multi with biotin if I wanted to take a vitamin (she said it was actually more likely the calcium, vitamin D and iron that would help vs. anything else); her number-one recommendation to treat my hair loss was Rogaine, at the 5% concentration (aka “men’s Rogaine”) vs. the lower-percentage women’s formulation. I get mine from Costco, it’s under $20 for a five-month supply. I have been using Rogaine since June of 2021 and it’s done a great job of arresting my hair loss; I have some regrowth but my front hairline is still thin. But much better than I think it would be without any treatment.

  8. My husband and I leave for a big international trip next Monday, and I am STRUGGLING to get through this week. Any tips to make the time go faster??

  9. I’m hoping to plan an international vacation for late April or May after not traveling internationally since pre-Covid, and don’t know where to go. I love outdoor, active vacations with lots of wildlife viewing — my favorite trips were an African Safari, Antarctica cruise, and Galapagos cruise. But I will hopefully be pregnant by April, so I’m thinking Europe makes the most sense. But the only places in Europe on my bucket list are Scotland and Iceland, and neither of those seems appropriate since they would be very active trips.

    Where would you recommend for me? The only places in Europe I’ve visited are England, Ireland, and Paris.

    2. If you’re not pregnant now, you’d still be in your first or early second trimester by the time you go on the trip. You can be plenty active! What are the specific activities in Iceland and Scotland you’d want to avoid if pregnant? Absent something like skydiving you can do an awful lot (except riding a bike later on).

      1. Oh man, first trimester excluded most activity for me. I did one 8 mile easy grade hike and basically slept the week after. And car travel made me throw up. I might go to the Netherlands, where you can train between cities and the cities are small and walkable. Go to Delft, Den Haag, etc.

        1. +1. I was so, so miserable during the first trimester and part of the second trimester. The fatigue and nonstop nausea (and barfing) were incredible. I actually found later pregnancy more bearable. I remember taking a chill trip during week 12 of one of my pregnancies, and while I have a few good memories from it, I also had to sit out from a lot because I felt so bad.

        2. As a counterpoint, I felt completely normal in the first trimester other than sore breasts the first few weeks and would have loved to go to Iceland or Scotland. There’s really just no way to know in advance how you’ll feel. If you’re TTC, I would recommend planning the trip you’d want to take if not pregnant (remember you may not get pregnant immediately) but making everything refundable, and then changing or canceling if necessary if you get pregnant and aren’t feeling well.

          2. It’s so hard to tell how you will feel. Honestly, I felt fine doing some short, easy hikes in my first trimester with my first. But I had other friends who had a lot of nausea and discomfort. Congrats and enjoy taking a trip!

          3. I went on vacation soon after learning that I was pregnant. Morning sickness kicked in halfway through the vacation. Getting home was absolutely miserable. I wouldn’t chance any travel during the first tri.

        3. I would have cancelled any vacation during the first two trimesters because I would have spent the entire time hunched over the toilet.

    3. I think you could go to Scotland and have it be not as active if that’s your concern; you can see a lot just driving around with moderate walking, no need for lots of hiking. (assuming you’re ok driving on the other side of the road). But truly, if you’ve never been to Italy, the answer is always Italy.

        1. +1

          Signed, the person who said “+1” to “the answer is always ‘go to Paris'” on yesterday’s thread

    4. I think you could do Scotland or Iceland while pregnant. Iceland has hot springs which might be a cause for concern but I think the temps of the Blue Lagoon and other indoor hot spring I’ve visited aren’t particularly hot so it shouldn’t be an issue. Bring some hiking poles if you want to hike around, but you should still be able to hike.

    5. What’s your concern with Scotland (or indeed Iceland!) when pregnant? There’s good access to medical care and hiking etc would still be perfectly enjoyable in early pregnancy. Morning sickness etc. would surely ruin a “lazy” holiday just as much as an active one?

      1. Also, I doubt that a hospital in either country would allow the sort of nonsense that Malta pulled on that American woman over the summer. Why yes, I’m always here for the reproductive worst case scenario.

        1. Yeah there should be no issue in those countries. Other than Malta, Poland is the other EU country with major abortion restrictions (and Vatican City, for obvious reasons, but I don’t even think they have a hospital there and you would obviously just get care in Italy so it doesn’t really count).

    6. I think Scotland and Ireland would be fine in pregnancy? I maintained my full activity until my third trimester, and was (and am) by no means one of those super athletic people or superhero pregnancy women who seem to live on this site. This included sailing, hikes, long walks (5+ miles a day, no problem to go 10+ miles too). The only thing I didn’t do was ski. I was out of breath, very sleepy, and had to walk a little slower, but not in a way I couldn’t live my life!

    7. Greece? Crete might be far enough south to be warm in May and offers a mix of lazy and active options.

      1. We spent a week in Crete last summer and it was lovely. Not as touristy as the other islands but there’s still plenty to do.

    8. Is Zika still going on? I feel like I lost track of it during COVID but used to be terrified of it.

    9. If you’re not set on Europe, I vote for Costa Rica! It’s beautiful, the people are lovely, and there’s tons of outdoor activity to be had.

      1. if you’re pregnant, your doc will nix Costa Rica. I had two girlfriends drop out of a girls trip to Costa Rica last month due to pregnancy.

        1. Why? The Zika outbreak is over. Your friends may have made a choice not to go (and may have blamed their doctors), but it is not true that all doctors will tell you not to travel to Costa Rica while pregnant.

    10. I’m going to Greece in early May – there were great fares from the east coast on SAS, which is also allowing me to do a long stopover in Copenhagen. I’m not sure where in Europe you’d have great wildlife viewing but you could do a Greek island or a few and do a fair amount of hiking (and some islands have coastal paths between towns so if you are pregnant there would be plenty of places to have a sit down break with a drink and snack). There’s also a coastal walking path in Portugal that could be up your alley. Iceland could also be less active, because the roads are great and you can drive between most major sites. You can definitely do a huge adventure Iceland trip, or you can stick along the Ring Road and limit walking to a mile or a few miles for each stop and still have an incredible trip.

      1. Funny – I am booking a tour to Crete in early May (or will as soon as the travel agency gets back to me) from Copenhagen.

    11. Dolomites for hiking, Maremma for wild beaches and wildlife (flamingos) in Italy, Bodensee/Lake Constance or France for cycling holidays with great culture stops/food.

    12. make sure whatever you book is refundable. i hope for your sake you will be pregnant, but you have no clue how you will be feeling and in my case there is no way on earth i could’ve enjoyed any part of a european vacation

    13. I will say Antarctica cruise is not a good idea if you’re pregnant, especially if you are on a smaller cruise ship that lets you get off the boat into the wilderness (more or less, considering that every expedition landing is heavily guided). I greatly enjoyed my Antarctica cruise and learning about the wildlife and geology, but the weather was rough. Especially crossing the Drake Passage the first time, and there are very limited medical options on a ship. it’s not like they can easily evacuate you out back to Chile or Argentina if something awful does happen.

    14. As someone who has been trying to get pregnant for more than a year…just take the trip. You have no way of knowing if you’ll get pregnant and it may well take longer than you think.

  10. What shape does Me and Em fit? Their stuff is pretty and I have Xmas cash.

    Also, do we like Sézane? For clothes or also shoes / accessories?

    1. I don’t know about Me and Em, but I love Sezane. Their sweaters are my favorite, but I also have several pairs of their jeans and a couple jackets (the chore coat and the trench). I often admire their shoes/bags but haven’t pulled the trigger on any, so can’t speak to those.

    2. I love love love Sezane and regularly recommend it here but to very little fanfare so I’m not sure it’s generally caught on. Their quality is great and I always get compliments when I wear it. It’s also the only stuff I successfully sell quickly on poshmark.

      1. I learned about Sezane here, probably from you! I have several dresses from this summer that I love.

      3. Oh I love their blouses (the Chloe shirt in bottle green is a gorgeous dupe for yesterday’s pick). What is the sizing like? If I’m a true UK 10 in Hobbs/The Fold would their US 6 be the right size or do they run small or large?

    3. I just made my first Sezane purchase last month (the Dino skirt), and I loved it. I literally had strangers stopping me on the sidewalk to compliment it.

      1. Oooh the Dino skirt has been on my list for a while and I just got a gift card for christmas… might have to pull the trigger.

        1. OMG I need that like I need a hole in the head (as in, I already have a gold pleated midi skirt) but OMG that is a gorgeous skirt!!

    4. I’ve been coveting so many pieces for so long – this has pushed me to go for it!

    5. I bought two items from Me + Em – a bodycon midi dress and a top – and I like them both. I am a 12/14 and have a slight inverted V/rectangular shape and fit comfortably in a L. But I will say neither item is very structured, so I can’t be super helpful on the fit of more unforgiving items.

      1. everything I bought from Suzanne was so scratchy and the boots reeked of chemicals. I was really sad about it because the style was great

  11. I’m going on vacation from Jan 20-27. I haven’t been on vacation since 2020. (Which was camping in a national park with little cell signal – this time I’ll have internet but don’t want to use it). Any tips for making it through this month and maybe not having horrible piles before and after?

    1. Start telling everyone now you will be out. Make a deadline at least 2 days before you leave for anyone requesting new things of you. I usually start my out of office the day before I leave at noon so I can focus on wrap up in the afternoon. Learned that lesson the hard way after multiple trips where I ended up working until 10pm the night before trying to finish everything. Make sure the people who others will go to when they realize you aren’t there (despite the warnings and out of office) know the triage and basic answers. A one pager or email summary is helpful so they have something to reference. I usually also give my boss an email on anything open or anything I think might bubble up while I am gone. If you have direct reports, make sure they know what they are empowered to do when you are out and who to go to if something happens they don’t know how to handle (or your cell # if that’s the only answer).

      I usually find some time the day before I go back to the office (often from the airport) to look at my email and remove the trash and make a short game plan for what to jump on immediately when I get back to work the next day. I am a first thing in the day peak productivity person so having something to jump into that’s not email first thing is better for me. Related but not, if possible, have cleaners come while you are gone and have groceries planned and ready to order for pickup/delivery when you get back. I always work slightly longer hours when I get back from vacation and having a clean house and food planned for when i get back makes the transition so much easier.

      I successfully took my longest (still just under two weeks of work time) vacation this fall and just as I predicted to them all, they were totally fine and nothing burned down while I was gone, even if they were happy to see me return and take my problems back!

      1. This is great advice! I find that a lot of being able to exit gracefully from work has to do with how prepped I am at home for a vacation, so +1 to the recommendation that you have your place cleaned if possible and line up groceries for your return. In the same vein: I love travel but HATE packing, but have found that if I force myself to make a list and start staging my stuff the weekend prior/get mostly packed by the time I’m 48-72 hours out from departure, a last-minute work fire drill doesn’t throw me off the way it used to.

    2. I do an “advance out of office notice” right above my signature block for about 3-4 weeks leading up to my vacation. I have to approve a lot of things as part of my job so that really seems to motivate people to get me their recommendations and requests for approval in and I can deal with them accordingly. I had practically no emails to deal with coming back from 10 days out (6 work days and 2 weekends).

    1. Going to Savannah with girlfriends in May, and probably Carolina coast for a family trip in August (thanks everyone for your help yesterday!)

    2. France! Haven’t started planning yet, not sure when we’re going, but we’ve never been to Paris and that was our next international trip we were looking at when Covid hit. We’re also trying to decide on a second trip–probably something more chill/relaxing (Vieques? St. John? We’ve been to both. Maybe we should try another Caribbean island?). And on the local front, I want to take a long weekend and go to either Grayson Highlands state park in Virginia (wild ponies!) or Alligator National Wildlife Refuge in North Carolina (bears, and if you’re very, very lucky, red wolves!)

      1. I love St. John and would go back there in a heartbeat, but I’d recommend Turks and Caicos or St. Lucia if you’re looking for a different island.

    3. Our big trips are southern Spain and Portugal (March), the Amalfi Coast (May) and Iceland (July). I’m taking my almost 5 year old to Legoland in Florida for her birthday in a few weeks, which will be fun but exhausting. We’ll go somewhere in the continental US for fall break in October (I’ll take ideas if anyone has them?) and we usually take a family trip somewhere warm (Florida or Caribbean) in December. Hopefully a spa weekend solo or with a girlfriend at some point.

      1. I am not sure where you are coming from, but the Montage Palmetto Bluff in South Carolina is a good option for fall break. It is appx 45 min from Savannah airport.

        1. Thanks! Coming from Chicago. I’ve seen in mentioned here before and it does look nice. It’s very pricey though, and the problem is that I love love love low country food and would want to be driving into Savannah for every meal, which I don’t think would be much fun for a 5 year old. In many other places I’m fine eating blah resort food, but not in that part of the country.

          1. You might consider one of the beaches near Charleston then… Folly Beach, Isle of Palms, Kiawah (a bit further than the other two)… Weather is generally still pretty nice in October, and easy access to Charleston for good food.

            Telluride is beautiful in October as well if you’re up for a mountain destination. And October is practically summer still in southern California… San Diego, Laguna or Newport Beach, and Santa Barbara all would be good options. [I am personally less of a fan of Los Angeles for a short visit, but YMMV.]

      2. We went to Santa Fe in October 2021 and now we live here, if that tells you anything lol

        1. Santa Fe is high on my list! And New Mexico is one of only four states I haven’t been to. But I wasn’t sure it would appeal to a 5 year old. Any thoughts on how kid friendly it is? I love that you picked up and moved to a place that you fell in love with while vacationing, that’s super cool.

          1. Hmm. Meow Wolf would be super fun for kiddo but might be nerve-wracking for you (lots of places to hide). We have a small children’s museum and there are kid-friendly exhibits and a botanical garden on Museum Hill. We’ve seen lots of families at Bandelier – the main-loop trail would be fun for someone that age. There are also a couple of sculpture gardens that might appeal (big animals!). Definitely research these – I don’t have kids and it’s been a while since I worked with children.

    4. Nothing too adventurous. I’m in Scotland so these are easyish trips and I have more annual leave than most – York for Easter with my in-laws, to my parents in Portugal for 3 weeks in the summer (2 weeks in Lisbon while my son does swim camp and I work and cosplay living in a lovely city, 1 week with my parents in rural Portugal), Yorkshire for a few days by the sea, Legoland Denmark in October, and back to Portugal for Christmas.

    5. We’ll finally take the Disney trip with the kids that we canceled in 2020. While I’m not ecstatic about it, I do think it’ll be memorable.

    6. Bar Harbor for a week (with kids). Possibly Portugal or Spain with friends for a long weekend, and hoping for a backpacking trip with a tour group at Yellowstone or Glacier in the fall.

      1. I’m biased because my grandparents lived there and I went every summer growing up, but Bar Harbor/Acadia is the best place for kids! There’s so much there for both littles and tweens/teens.

      2. Jealous jealous jealous. Have a great time and do it all! You can sleep on the long plane ride home.

    8. I think Crete in the spring, Nice in the summer and probably a long weekend in Hamburg, Paris or Barcelona in the fall.

    9. As one of the posters here who is in grad school part time, I won’t have the money (or really, the time) for travel until I graduate in 18 months…

      I am lucky that my grandfather owns a lake house ~2 hours from my city so I will spend time there in the summer. It’s rented 90% of the summer, but the family gets free use (in exchange for a lot of labor…) when it’s not rented.

      Otherwise, travel will likely be limited to traveling to weddings. I “only” have 4 this year, 3 of which are local or local-ish, but the one I have to travel to is in a tourist destination over a holiday weekend so will be pricey. I’m debating road tripping it (10 hour drive one-way) and taking a few days and making some stops along the way.

      I have invites to two bachlorettes but seeing as I’m not in the wedding itself, I probably won’t be able to attend.

      I also do weekend trips to visit college friends maybe 6 times a year but that’s just the cost of gas or Amtrak and then I crash at my friends’ places. I have a long list of friends who are flying distance that I owe visits to, but that’s not all that likely this year.

      Once I graduate though, I plan on taking myself on a nice trip!

    10. Long weekend in DC to visit a sibling; bringing my 10 year old son.
      Business trip to Phoenix (I live in the Midwest, so this will be a welcome change of pace in February).
      Blowout family trip to Hawaii for spring break with spouse and three kids (ages 7, 10, and 13).
      20th college reunion in MA; bringing my 13 year old daughter.
      Possible second weekend to DC for a wedding with our kids also.
      Week in a lake house about 4 hours away from our home.

      I love travel and COVID really cramped our style. Making up for lost time!

    11. Honeymoon in Rome and the Amafli Coast in May! I am so excited. Hopefully also a trip to the Oregon Coast (my happy place).

    12. we live in the PNW and I’m exhausted/over it from several difficult trips to to see family the last 3 months, and a well-intended France vacation on which we got bad COVID and had to cancel all our plans. This year, I don’t want to go anywhere that’s on a plane until the next holiday season. So we’re planning 4 day weekends in: Tofino (never been!! excited), the oregon coast (we love it and want to go 2x this year), hood river/columbia gorge, and the Olympic peninsula. We’re going to do a longer week down to the Bay Area to stay at the Hyatt Ventana Sur a few days for some pampering and to see friends and a week to Glacier national park in Montana this summer. mid 30s, no kids and love to be outside for vacations.

    13. Puerta Vallarta for a long-weekend.
      Weekend trip to Charleston for a birthday.
      Big trip to Tuscany with family.

      1. My favorite purchase in Vietnam was silk pants that tied in like diapers and had a slit along the outside of each leg. No zippers or buttons. You tie one set of ties behind you (lower back) and the other set of ties in front of you (belly button-ish). I bought them in a half-dozen colors and have always wished I bought more. They are comfy, stylish, not expensive and travel home well (nothing to break or spill and not heavy or bulky). Have fun!

        1. That sounds amazing. I will definitely keep an eye out for such a thing!

    15. I’m high risk and still not confident to plan a long trip but there will be a couple of mandatory business trips – one cross country, and once I’m there I see allll my friends. I used to work there so tons of people to catch up with. In 2022 I managed to get by Evusheld right before the trip so felt as confident as I could. Hope to have the same timing this year.

      This is currently my excuse for traveling business class only when I fly – preferably Polaris class – so that’s part of the fun as well.

      For family travel, we’re a great road trip family and have always been. We live in the Bay Area and there are so many amazing places within driving distance. Sometimes we are somewhere gorgeous like Santa Barbara or Big Sur and I remind my kids that people from all over the country/world save up for a vacation to these places and here we are, but they’re sick of hearing it, haha.

      1. I love Polaris! We bought tickets for spring break 2022 at the height of the Omicron wave and got a crazy price on roundtrip tickets to Italy in Polaris ($5k per person for flights to Europe and we can’t afford that for four people. Some day…maybe.

        1. Ack somehow half my sentence got eaten. We got a crazy good price of $1,500 per person for the trip we booked! $5k+ is the normal price and is what we can’t afford.

          1. It has been nuts to me that premium economy is priced so close to business class. Must be supply/demand and what business accounts allow. Polaris 4 life!!

            And that is a crazy good deal you got! Pre-pandemic, I went to Paris in Polaris class using miles, but it would have been $8000 using cash!

    16. More of a wishlist than a plan so far as it depends on work and family availability, but my plan is:
      -NYC and Chicago to visit friends in the first part of the year
      -Italy for a milestone celebration with my family
      -New Orleans for a bachelorette
      -hoping to get to Colorado to visit a friend who moved out there in 2022
      Hope to have few more weekend visits to friends or to host some in my city, but the details haven’t been decided yet.

      I would love to do a fall trip to New England this year, but it’s hard to justify given where I’d be flying in from

    17. Road trip to Mesa Verde and hopefully a visit to San Francisco. My wife’s never been and her sister just moved there.

    19. I am moving for work to the Netherlands, lots of extra relocation costs to cover, so I guess my travel plans will be local (NL) this year. I also suspect many friends will want to visit.
      Oh, and one trip to Mexico to visit my friends. Bought the ticket last year :)

      1. I think you posted before about moving to the Netherlands and that’s so exciting! Please keep us updated on how it goes!

  13. Can anyone recommend a therapist for anxiety, specifically around insomnia right now? I’m especially interested in cognitive behavior therapy. Ideally in Manhattan or Brooklyn or works remotely, and that accepts insurance or is not super expensive, but I’m semi-desperate.

    1. I would try BetterHelp as a stop gap at least. I’ve been able to get a therapist pretty quickly and its not too expensive, and you can still look for someone in person but at least you’ll have some support.

    3. My own therapist recommended looking at the listings on Psychology Today when I asked for recommendations for my husband. I think you can tell from those lists who accepts insurance.

    4. There’s a standardized CBT treatment for insomnia that you could try as a stand-alone online program. If that helps, it would give you more flexibility in finding a therapist to work with on anxiety. You can search for CBT-I — I’m not including inks to avoid moderation

  14. Question just for fun: if you want to look hot but like you didn’t put in any effort (or did you?) what is your look? Include whatever this means for you.

    1. Loft has a “perfect” tank that truly is a perfect dupe for the ones I used to wear in high school and college (basically a thicker, nicer looking hanes tank). That, with bootcut jeans and heeled boots, is a look straight out of Friends circa early 2000’s but takes me right back to being a cute young thing right out of college hitting dive bars with friends and looking ‘casual hot’ (very Jen Anniston at the time).

    2. I have a specific little black dress and black boots that fits the bill! Husband likes it too hah

    3. I’m not especially low maintenance but my best sexy-hot look is simple and classic. For me, that’s hair pulled back in a low bun that’s a little messy, black shirt dress that fits well with a high slit skirt and high heels. I’ll wear this look to dinner or drinks with my husband.

    4. black button down, one more button undone. Red lipstick, good highlighter and messy hair. Wide leg jeans and dramatic heels.

    5. Jeans and a sexy tee, maybe tied up so some stomach shows. Minimal obvious makeup but maybe black eyeliner and mascara and a red lip. Curled hair but brushed out so they look like soft loose waves.

      1. +1 me too. Skinny jeans and a tissue-like tee (v-neck) that is not quire fitted and almost see-through, Shoreline Chucks, loosely curled blown out hair, mascara (maybe eyeliner), blush, and maybe red lipstick.

        It’s casual girl next door hot IMO.

    6. Beach vacation- tank w/ built in shelf bra and the perfect slouchy cut offs, ocean hair that magically is perfect when I don’t touch it after getting out of the water. Actually zero effort.

      City- silky blouse unbutt-ned one extra. The perfect blowout and eye makeup. Not actually zero effort lol

    9. Ooooo, I think going braless in a tight top…maybe that’s try-hard haha but I have a small bust and always feel very French girl when I do this. Or at home, a tank and casual pair of underwear to bed instead of pajamas.

  15. Hiking boot recommendations? I’m just getting started in a hiking group and am looking for something that won’t take a lot of time to break in and is also waterproof. Ideally something I can buy in wide width too.

    1. Go to REI or the equivalent and try a bunch on; these are pretty foot-dependent. Some of the ones people rave about just don’t fit my feet. I like Merrell’s Moabs.

      1. +1. You need something that fits your particular feet and you need to try them on with the correct socks and go up and down slopes in them. REI is great for this. And definitely break them in on short hikes first. If you’re not going backpacking, you might also be okay with a hiking shoe rather than a boot, which is lighter and more comfortable for less rugged trails.

      2. +1 Go to REI and try a bunch on. I got both of these from REI; you’ve got to try them on though to know which ones feel the best.

        Hiking boots – these weren’t my favorite style, but fit the best. Looks like they’re no longer available – I’ve had them for about 5 years. I’d recommend them/the brand – they’ve held up quite well.
        https://www.rei.com/product/828471/vasque-talus-mid-ultradry-hiking-boots-womens?cm_mmc=email_tran-_-ereceipt-_-20170401-_-bt_prod1&ev36=&RMID=EReceipt_PROD&RRID=178206975&ev11=

        Trail Runners – I don’t use them for running, but like them for hikes when it’s warmer out.
        On Cloudultra Trail-Running Shoes – https://www.rei.com/product/184527/on-cloudultra-trail-running-shoes-womens?cm_mmc=email_tran-_-ereceipt-_-20210731-_-bt_prod1&ev36=&RMID=EReceipt_PROD&RRID=178206975&ev11=

    2. I have Keens (Targee?), which I feel run wide-ish, but second the vote to go to an REI and try several on with the proper socks and stomp around. Your feet may have opinions in this and also your regular shoe size may need to go up a size. Will you be hiking or backpacking? You may want to load up a pack and try on with that.

      1. I only wear Keen hiking boots now because they fit my wide feet so well; I am not at all sure if they would work for someone with a narrow foot. And with hiking boots, it is ALL ABOUT the fit, the fit has to be perfect or 1 mile into the five or ten-mile hike you will want to die. Agree with the suggestion to go to REI, try on a bunch of different boots and get some expert advice about what to buy. That’s how I found the Keens worked best for me.

    3. Merrell Moab waterproof in both low and high versions comes in a wide. It’s more casual hiking than Pacific Coast Trail, but has served me well through thousands of miles of casual hiking (multiple pairs of course).

    4. I personally like my Columbia Redmond IIIs (shoe-style as I only do day hikes with a light pack), but it’s very foot dependent as everyone is saying. Also consider a pair of hiking socks – the extra padding and support can make a real difference.

    5. Thank you for all this helpful advice. These will just be casual hikes (less than 5 miles mostly) but I will definitely go to REI and try things on. Appreciate the input!

      1. Just wear your comfortable running shoes if you have them. What you describe doesn’t require a special shoe. My running shoes are demoted from long runs to trail runs to short runs to hiking to walking to yard work as they age.

      2. I have Hoka trail runners as my basic sneakers and wear to walk my dog, including many weekend hikes of ~ 5 miles. IMO they run wide and also come in a wide width. IDK if you need the ankle support of a boot but these are solid shoes. Mine aren’t waterproof, but to me that matters if I am likely to get wet (damp morning grass, rain, fording a stream) and not something I need 24/7. I have low boots (Keens) also.

      3. I ended up getting the Merrell MQM Flex 2 Mid GORE-TEX® last year after I tried about 8 different types at my local REI store. (had to buy online since REI didn’t have my size in store) Not sure that Merrell still has the style, but mine has ankle support, waterproof, and is relatively light for a hiking boot.

      4. I second the Merrell Moab recommendation. It’s more like a hiking sneaker (low version) so if you’re only doing casual hikes, you might find them more comfortable than full on hiking boots. I really only do super casual hikes but I prefer them over sneakers because they’ve got more traction so I feel a lot more comfortable on dirt/gravelly trails

      5. Just wear sneakers. You don’t need boots for a 5 mile hike. Your feet will be much happier in sneakers.

        1. I would think it would depend more on the terrain than the distance of the hike? 5 miles on relatively flat ground is very different than 5 miles winding around a mountainside. I’m not a serious joker but I chose shoes vs boots based on how rocky/steep/ uneven the ground is.

          1. I’m in the Southwest and always wear boots because of ankle snakebites, which have happened to several people I know. One of my friends pulled the snake off her boot and it left a fang in the ankle collar. Plus I have known several people who twisted an ankle hiking and had to limp several miles home and then get ankle surgery later to fix the damage. Sneakers are okay in some hiking circumstances, like if it’s a paved or well-trafficked trail not far from medical help. If it’s real wilderness, boots are better.

    6. Keens run wide so they are my boot of choice. You really have to try hiking boots on, though.

    7. Counter to these recommendations, I do all my hikes in trail running shoes. I’ve done a 500 mile 4 week hike in them. For me, I’d rather trade off the ankle support for a more comfortable shoe for my feet. I also prefer a shoe that dries fast to a waterproof shoe that doesn’t breathe.

      1. Yeah, I’d recommend that OP try on a few trail shoes/trail runners along with boots. I have trail shoes from Adidas that I really like – lightweight and breathable but still grippy.

        1. Oh and good socks are important. Smartwool has a billion options. In warm weather I like to bring sandals along for the drive home after the hike.

          1. I like Crocs as my camp shoes / drive home shoes. They are light and I just attach them to my pack with a carribeaner.

    8. On cloud hiking boots! Used them for a week-long trek while having blisters from running prior to trek with my running shoes and they were the best hiking boots I ever had. Worth the 225 they cost!

    10. It depends what kind of hiking you mean. If you’re going on a relatively flat, well used trail I recommend trail running shoes. They are lighter and more comfortable. If there are hills, roots, etc. I would get a low boot. I always buy Salomon and I prefer to go with the Goretex version of whatever shoe I select.

    11. I like Altra. They are zero drop and with a wide toe box.great soles.

      I don’t need high tops, but they make those as well.

  16. Any recommendations of good primer for very sensitive skin? I used to use Korres primer when it was still at Sephora and I generally do well with Clinique and Dior but get puffy redness from many many brands.

    2. Do you need primer? I’d start there.

      I use Bobbi Brown Vitamin Enriched Face Cream daily. It’s a combo moisturizer / primer. I also use the eye version of this under my eyes. I probably would just use the face cream there as well but they sent me the eye cream for free.

      I have very very very sensitive rosacea prone skin and I’m super careful about what I use but this one is my ride or die and has never caused a problem.

      My AM routine is currently : wash with a gentle cleaner like La Roche Posay Toleraine or the Curology one, apply Origins Mega Mushroom relief liquid (it’s like a splash toner), then a serum or rx depending on what’s going on with my skin (rx metronidazole or the counter Naturium Azelaic Acid). I wait for that to absorb then apply the Bobbi Brown.

      I wear Bobbi Brown serum foundation on top of that – one pump, applied with a brush – and this is the best combo I’ve ever used. No pilling, none of that settling into pores business, no oxidation that I can see. Looks as good at 4pm as it did at 9am.

      Good luck!

  17. It’s my first day back in the office, and I’ve returned to a couple of irritated emails from people who got my out of office message before Christmas and wanted something from me that IMO was important but definitely not urgent. It was not something easily delegated. (We’re a university that shuts down for an extended period. I took an extra 2 days on the front end of break.) I have so much anxiety around setting personal boundaries about not working on my vacation days, while knowing that I’m holding up somebody’s process. Or that I’ll return to a mess of requests that can’t be solved quickly. This is something I really want to work on in 2023, as it makes me dread coming back to work from any kind of break, no matter how short or long. If you’re anything like this: how do you get over the anxiety of not pleasing people? This is not something I struggle with that much in my personal life; it is mostly a work problem.

    1. I think about if I will even remember this moment a year from now. 99% of the time I won’t so no use worrying about it

    2. I struggle with this in work and personal life but have gotten SIGNIFICANTLY better about it over the years. Here are my main tips for work life.

      1. It’s not your issue. I had to work long and hard to really truly feel this in my soul, but if an employer has set up a department or staff in such a way that stuff gets missed when ONE person is on vacation, then honestly, that is the employer’s fault, and they’ve made the decision that not cross training is the priority and it’s okay if something gets missed from time to time. As long as you have acted reasonably — delegated or found coverage for whatever you can, met your deadlines, get to your work in a reasonable way upon return — then you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

      2. You can’t control another person’s feelings. If another person wants you to do something and gets upset that you’re not doing it while you’re on vacation, then that’s on them. You are behaving reasonably, and the other person is an adult who can learn to deal with their own emotions about another adult’s reasonable behavior.

      3. Work is not your life. Of course work is important (it pays the bills, it gives a sense of accomplishment and contribution), BUT it is not everything. This is another thing I had to work hard to truly believe. I did this by finding meaning in activities outside work– developing and maintaining deep relationships with others and developing meaningful hobbies and other activities. I want to do a good job at work so I don’t get fired, but honestly, the stuff outside of work is what’s most important to me. I remind myself of this whenever someone is mad about something inane or when I’m tempted to check in on my email during vacation, etc.

      You’ve got this!! It’s a struggle sometimes, but these three beliefs/practices/whatever they are have been the most helpful to me. Basically, it’s a process of distancing myself from my employer and other people’s feelings.

    3. Ugh that’s the worst. I do my best to manage expectations with people beforehand – like my internal clients will know ahead of time (how much advance notice depends on the length and disconnectedness of the trip). So if they want to get anything started or finished it helps everyone plan ahead.

      Moaning about two extra days at the holidays is obnoxious though!

    4. As a faculty member married to a staff member who deals with this kind of thing a lot, I think a lot of this can be headed off by better communication. It’s not shocking to anyone that people are out of office over the holidays, but it is really helpful when it’s clearly communicated who will be out when so that we can plan accordingly. If you went out earlier than most people and that wasn’t communicated, I understand why people might have been upset. You’re absolutely entitled to the vacation time, just make it clear to people counting on you when you’ll be out. Some offices send out emails, others post on web pages, other people just send an individual email heads up to people they’re working with on things, it depends on the type of work you do what makes the most sense, but I really appreciate the people who do that compared to the ones who unexpectedly leave me hanging on something we’d been communicating about regularly.

      1. I think my struggle is that I believe I do a good job communicating to the people with whom I interact with regularly, especially within my office and team. It’s the people from other offices, where contact is not regular or predictable, that seem more put out. It would be very weird for me to notify them if we aren’t currently working on a project together. IDK. This has become a bigger issue in the post-covid area. Nobody has any grace anymore.

        1. Not too much advice, OP, but I feel this so hard. Our department often has to be the “bad guy” and people can be crummy about it. It is what it is, but it can wear you down!

          1. I spent way too much time during my break thinking about how beat down I feel by the demands, attitudes, and expectations. The work is hard enough without those delightful bits of human interaction. I know I can’t please everyone. I also know that I’m an extremely responsible person, often to my own detriment, so when someone tries to make me feel like I’m undependable, my hackles are RAISED. Since 2020, I feel like I’ve had to become a work robot.

          2. Sorry OP. I find the interpersonal culture in higher ed really toxic in so many ways. It’s hard to walk away from the benefits like the generous PTO, holiday break and excellent retirement match, but for my own mental health I’ve had to kind of check out and half-a$$ my job. If I’m invested in it, I just get hurt because I can never please everyone.

        2. Yeah, that’s harder for sure. But if this kind of thing seems to come up regularly enough that it’s bothering you this much, I guess maybe still try to think about whether there’s a way to signal your availability, whether it’s with calendar software or something else. Or if there are particular people this keeps happening with, maybe you should just notify them, at least about big things like winter break where people get delayed for weeks by you being out. I regularly get these kinds of emails from several staff members (sent to the whole department), and I think so much more of the them for it.

    5. I also work for a university that was shut down from 12/22-1/3. These people are being unreasonable. Staff members are not supposed to work over the holiday break and extending your vacation by a couple days is completely reasonable and common. For context, I took off the full week of 12/12, which definitely annoyed people, but it was the best time for my family to travel, so whatever. Did essentially nothing the three days I was back in the office, and then there was the holiday break so I’m coming upon almost a month of doing no substantive work.

    6. If you see these requests as unreasonable (and they probably are, what is really that important over winter break?) then you will probably care about them less. It sounds like these people may need to adjust their expectations and they will get over it. Maybe acknowledging that will help.

        1. The saying is funny, but I also hate that we’re normalizing it. The professors I know, including my spouse, aren’t like this. We should expect better from this group of people (that’s largely old, white, guys) and not let them off the hook with quippy one-liners.

          1. This is my experience with faculty as well (and it’s definitely not jus the old, white, guys).

        2. Mildly inconvenienced or needs his/her ego stroked at all times. There are kind faculty members out there, but there’s also plenty who believe their needs should come before anything and anyone else, and that their work is The Most Important Ever. It’s hard to win with these people. And they’re unfortunately a lot more vocal than the nice ones.

    7. It really sounds like these people are being unreasonable. I’m a completely different industry and it’s basically known that the two weeks around the holidays are garbage weeks where nothing gets done and everyone is fine. If they’re not fine, f them. I’m a recovering people pleaser and I definitely love to work with people and do good jobs with them, but I’ve developed a “f them” attitude for unreasonable people. Note I only say “f them” in my head (or alone in my car). :) but for some reason this helps me release the minor anxiety hump of them being upset.

      1. In academia they’re not garbage weeks, at least not for faculty. You have to get fall semester grades done, prep spring classes and in between you have to write papers and grant proposals for January deadlines. So it’s definitely possible that missing something before someone goes out on break can have really major consequences, like a grant proposal not getting submitted. Our grants office is luckily very good about clearly communicating deadlines around winter break so that’s probably not the issue here, but I think it is really important to communicate around this time because so much happens between semesters when faculty are working and staff aren’t.

        1. But staff is off, and you don’t expect staff to be working when the university is shut. If you’re a faculty member who expects something from staff over the break and is upset they’re not responding to you when the university is shut down, you’re an a-hole. Sorry not sorry. My husband is faculty but he knows it’s unreasonable to demand things of staff when the university is shut and they’re not working.

        2. I actually think it’s more reasonable for the faculty member or grant committee member who needs something during a holiday to be proactive toward people they aren’t working closely with (which is OP’s scenario). I get that it’s a busy time for some people, which is why they need to make sure they are going to be able to meet their deadlines.

          I’m a lawyer who has deadlines during the holidays sometimes. So I communicate with the people I might need something from well in advance to make sure I know when they’ll be out. It’s so common for folks to be out during this time of year that the person in charge of the deadline needs to be the one communicating. The staff might not know what the needs are in advance, especially for people they’re not working with all the time.

          1. Yes, this. If faculty know they’ll need something when the university is shut down, they need to be proactive about communicating with staff about it. It’s not on staff to read minds about what faculty members might need.

          2. Yeah, I think that’s reasonable. I’m the faculty member who posted above, and I really don’t have too many complaints about this personally because I think the staff at my university generally do a very good job of this and I actually do exactly what you suggest when I’m dealing with especially urgent things. But some people also get irritated by that, so if OP wants people to be proactive, she might want to be clear about that.

        3. The break between academic semesters is much longer than the staff break (at my university, it’s 5 weeks vs. 1.5 weeks). The week between Christmas & New Year’s is absolutely a garbage week for everyone I know, regardless of whether they’re staff or faculty. The university daycare is shut and public schools are shut, so no parents have childcare. People are busy celebrating holidays and traveling to see family or hosting family at home. No one does any work that week. Faculty prep classes and work on grant proposals before Christmas and after New Years when they have childcare. Fall grades are due way before the holiday shutdown.

          1. Not everyone has kids. Or travels to see family, for lots of different reasons, but especially because many academics have family overseas and only go every few years in the summer. Many of them come from cultures that don’t celebrate Christmas. There are a million different reasons why people might work during that week.

          2. Sure, but that’s true in any industry. There are always individuals who work, but it doesn’t change the fact that most people aren’t working and it’s a garbage week for getting anything done that involves other people. I was responding to someone who said faculty normally work that week and that is not my experience as someone whose parents, spouse and many friends are university faculty. Faculty definitely do not normally take off for the entire break between the fall and spring semester, but the holiday break is much shorter than the academic break.

          3. Okay? But those people who work a lot during the time period must realize that LOTS of people take time off during the holidays, especially if they’re working in an environment that is literally shut down during that time.

          4. +1. I used to work for a college and administrative offices were closed for several days around the holidays.

        4. If something has major consequences then they need to plan ahead and get it sorted a little earlier than the day before the holiday shutdown. If they waited until then to ask for something it’s completely their own fault.

    8. There are absolutely jobs/companies/industries where if you put up that OOO (and have managed expectations appropriately on the front end with key stakeholders), then you’re absolutely good and people can be as upset as they want, but that makes them unreasonable and not great to work with. There are also companies and industries where that is absolutely not ok and it would be unacceptable to not check email a handful of times while out of office. Not saying one is right or wrong, just different.

      So, I wonder, is this a recurring thing that you are out of office and people are upset about delaying work product? If it’s not, then I’d just think these people are kind of annoying and shut them out. If this is recurring, maybe you need to dial in a bit tighter to company culture/expectations

      1. Merp. Def missed the part about you being at a university that shuts down. Sorry.

        I think they’re unreasonable and you just let it go. You can’t please everyone. “It must be hard for them to be so miserable,” is a refrain I repeat in my head when people are being ridiculous.

    9. I also work in higher ed and we shut down for an extended period at winter break. My coworkers were answering emails during the break and we also received a bunch of emails from colleagues who sent things after break started and were mad they weren’t processed during the break.

      Higher ed people have notoriously horrible boundaries around work. People wear their overworkedness as a badge of honor and seem to revel in being available all the time. I have coworkers who check their emails during breaks or their PTO because they can’t disconnect.

      This is truly a them problem, especially for a university-wide closure. This was not you unexpectedly being out for 2 weeks. The best thing you can do is hold boundaries and people will come to accept them from you. I had a colleague who we had to train to finish her part of a process during business hours because her previous contact would process a file whenever this colleague completed it, usually around 7-8pm. We’ve had to hold firm with this particular person because she has already tried to get someone’s cell number so she can contact them when she’s finished her process. NOPE! Get it to us by 4pm if you want it processed same day.

    10. Speaking as a professor, we’re largely self-important jerks. If it was important but not urgent, and not something someone else could fix, then you did what you needed to do by leaving the away message.

      If you want to be extra careful in the future, you could send a will be out of office message a week or two before leaving, but I can guarantee the sorts of folks who get huffy about you taking 2 days off are the sorts of folks who would not read notification emails. Also, is cross training for this task possible? if not, then don’t worry about it!

    11. I think about all the times I’ve had a task or project held up because I was waiting on someone who was on vacation or otherwise not available to get me whatever I wanted. And then I figure (a) the world didn’t end, if it was something truly high stakes urgent I could figure out another way to get it done and (b) it’s like I paid my dues waiting for others and now it’s my turn to make others wait. It will be my turn to wait again soon enough. Sort of like karma. Good luck!

  18. Trouser and Jean recommendations needed! I’m tired of always pulling stuff up, getting hemming or folding, or poor quality or wearing super casual styles.

    Petite, 26” inseam, curvy fit, between size 2-6 (depends on cut, maker, fabric).

    1. No specific brand recommendations, but check out Extra Petite or Pumps & Push Ups. They are both petite style bloggers and are on IG too.

    2. I am pretty much the same size as you. I have had success with Pistola Monroe fit and Lennon fit jeans and Joe’s high honey jeans. For pants I still struggle to find ones that I really like the fit. Ann Taylor petites and sizing up are the ones that I have right now that work best.

  19. I feel like I am having BigLaw fatigue in a major way. I have a small book of business, so the usual exit plan for in-house or government isn’t really in the cards. I keep trying to train up a successor so that I can work PT (have kids who are at the point where they need more of me, not less, and then I’d like to be truly PT in the next 5-10 years). If you are someone who has managed this, or work with someone who has, pls tell me your secrets. I see this with guys all the time, but they have huge books of business and were always in established groups, so it seems like there were always people above and below them coming up. I carved out my niche, which is why it has worked out for me, but there is only so much of me to spread around and after COVID and our local schools being closed for a long time, I’m just exhausted still.

    1. I guess I don’t understand why having a small book precludes you from govt or in house work? If those are options that would work better for your life, why not pursue them?

      1. BigLaw mom and one thing I notice is that having your own work gives you probably maximum freedom in avoiding what many people hate about practicing law in any environment. OTOH, unless you have enough work to keep an associate busy enough that they aren’t beholden to others, you actually have to get the work done. The buck stops with you.

        1. Yeah the flexibility, or at least illusion of flexibility, is a huge plus at this stage of our careers. You’re your own boss in most respects. I can’t imagine moving to a job where I have to ask permission to take a vacation or an afternoon off or whether I can work remotely.

      2. Yea I’m not sure I understand either. You’re not bringing your book of business in house or to gov. I thought book of business only matters when switching law firms and what business you can bring.

        1. I think if you jump to the wrong place, you’ve lost your work possibly for nothing. A lot of my friends have rotten work-life balance at places where you wouldn’t expect it. Any workplace can be bad and IDK how to spot all of them ahead of time. Some are obvious. The crazy boss or crazy client or arbitrary comp / advancement process is IMO always an unpleasant suprise.

    2. I don’t understand why having a book of business prevents you from going in-house or to government. The clients will find a new attorney.

    3. Do you want to go in-house or work for the government?

      Also is your book large enough to support another person? If you don’t have enough work to funnel to a successor who wants to work full time while you work part time, then that could be an issue.

    4. This isn’t what you want to hear but the answer is to build your book. You’re in that weird spot where you’re senior enough to get mostly left alone by other partners, you can fill your own plate, but you don’t have enough for a dedicated associate. Which means you’re competing with partners with bigger books to get associate support. In the short term I recommend training up your assistant and paralegal if you have one so they can take on more time consuming low level tasks. The summer associates will be here before you know it, start thinking about things for them to do.

  20. Does anyone use an app they can recommend that does interval timing? I have a lot of physical therapy exercises that involve doing things for certain time intervals. I don’t want to fuss around with timing them or counting them out myself. I’d like an app that beeps at me or tells me when to stop/start. I found a couple that seem ok but leave a bit to be desired.

    1. Have you tried Tabata Timer? It beeps and does a little celebratory horn when you’re finished.

    3. A Garmin watch. You can set the “run” and “walk” intervals however you want and it just beeps at the end of the interval.

    4. I use one just called Interval Timer (for Android — the icon is a gray stopwatch with green and blue hands). It’s pretty bare-bones but I’m happy with it. What features are you looking for that other apps don’t have?

    5. WOD Timer would be perfect for this.
      You don’t have to do Crossfit after you download it. But if you do, be sure to talk about it.

    7. I like the Intervals app for iPhone. You can set up different intervals (say, high intensity & low intensity), number of sets, how often it repeats, a recovery interval and even a warm up and cool down period.

    8. I use Impetus for that. You can program any sequence with different consecutive intervals.

  21. About 2 months ago, I left a job I loved. A newly-elected official would be starting in the new year so I had no guarantee that I could stay in that job. Historically, the person in my job never gets to stay. I got a few unsolicited job offers and begrudgingly left the job I loved after listening to a lot of advice telling me to take the new job. The new job is more money, less work, and sadly not nearly as interesting as my old job. My new boss is awesome and my colleagues are nice. I’ve learned that the new official wants me to come back to my old job and they asked me to come in and meet with the new people. I regret leaving my old job and wish I had stayed, but that feels a lot different than leaving the new job after such a short time. Anyone else ever been in this situation? Part of me wants to go back to the job I loved, but I also feel like I would be a terrible person for leaving after such a short time especially because my new boss is actually someone I worked with previously and he’s great. I really could use some advice. Thanks.

    1. I think it’s worth meeting the old job new boss and learning more. No solution is great here, but as someone who left a sprt-of-good job and took a not-so-good job in 2022, I would definitely learn more about what the options are with old role. The sooner you bail (if you’re going to) on new job, the easier it will be to replace you.

    2. Absolutely meet with New Official. I feel like everybody gets (at least) one free pass for a job change that turned out to be a mistake, and the sooner you pull the plug the easier it will be on everybody.

    3. I’d go back and just be honest with new boss. Yes, it will strain that relationship but you’re the one who has to live your life every day. I’d just make sure that new elected official won’t change the job that you loved.

  22. Thank you all for the comments on the whole-food plant-based diet without support at home question yesterday. I have been working toward it for a while and have been able to do it fairly well for breakfast and lunch during the week. I’ve definitely been doing more veggie sides and salads and eating less of the meat overall, but am at the point that in order to really get the benefits I believe I need to just not eat the meat provided at supper time. I am fine with this, but not sure how he will react if I simply stop eating the meat. Glad to know that some of you have figured out a way to make it work! I’ll keep working at it as I know my health has improved with this way of eating and I’ve also been much more consistent for the last year or so in my exercise routine.

    1. I’m an ethical vegan, not a plant based dieter. I was an ‘ethical vegetarian’ (lol) when I started dating my DH and I had to lay down clear rules that I wouldn’t cook him animals but he could do what he wanted as long as he wasn’t commenting on my food. It sort of worked for a while, but luckily I have a DH who is swayed by logic rather than emotion and he got onboard the vegan train with me. Since I was only feeding him vegan food anyways it wasn’t a hard switch, he certainly wasn’t interested in cooking for himself so his options were vegan food, starving, or take out.

    2. I missed that thread but the other week I asked about budget meals, which tend to be non-meat based. I’ve just made smitten kitchen farro for the third time and thank you to whomever recommended it. It’s perfect!

      OP you should try it. Easy, filling, delicious, plant based. I don’t put any cheese on it and it doesn’t need it IMO.

    3. By any chance are you the same poster whose husband would get upset if you tired to get in better shape by working out and eating healthier? I recall that he would also get mad if the poster was getting up early to workout because it disturbed his sleep. The way your post was written somehow reminded me of the posts from last year.

      1. Yep, that was me. Funny that you recognized that! I have been very consistent with getting up early to work out after just telling him that was what I needed to do. He’s still not super happy about it, but he has stopped complaining. I’ve slowly started eating better and am definitely feeling better/better about myself since I have made these changes. Looking to continue to work toward being the best version of me that I can.

        2. I think there is a bigger problem in your relationship. Your husband does not sound like a very partner. You deserve someone better.

          1. +1 Your husband sounds super controlling. Nobody should be getting upset, at any level, if you’re choosing not to eat meat.

        3. Ok so I’m going to assume your husband has other wonderful redeeming qualities but this is really childish behavior. I’m also going to assume that he’s defensive about his own (lack of) healthy habits. I’d suggest sitting down with him at a time when you’re both calm and food isn’t around and say do thing like the following.

          Husband, I love you and I know you love and support me. You may have noticed I’ve been making a few changes including working out more and eating better. These make me feel really great and are important to me. I don’t need you to join me on this journey but I do need you to cut out the complaints about it. We will still be able to enjoy meals together and go on dates, I’ll just be skipping the meat (or whatever) but we’ll still get to spend time with each other which is my favorite part of eating together. Thank you for your support on helping me be the best version of myself.

          If he continues to complain or whatever, take a good look at whether he’s controlling about anything else in your life. I’m hoping he’s just thinking you are being healthy AT him and feels judged by your changes. But if he’s still giving you a hard time after you lovingly ask for his support, something else is up

          1. +1. Is he discouraging you from seeing certain friends or relatives, perhaps jokingly? Criticizing your purchases or micromanaging your finances? Needs to know about your interactions at work in great detail? Tells you that your choices affect him negatively when they don’t?

    4. Anonshmanon, your comment hit me hard. He has done all of those things in variation in the past. You’ve given me multiple to things to think about.

      1. That is disappointing. I really thought he was just being defensive about meateating as I experience that with my husband. Sometimes counseling works but we all have essentially two choices: accept our spouse or leave them. I have had to apply the principles of al-anon to my husband over COVID because he refuses to get vaccinated. Fortunately, he does not try to change me or micromanange my choices. I wish you the best.

  23. Has anyone had any success with at-home beauty devices for anti-aging of the face? Red light therapies, massagers, wands, etc? I’d like to try something for general skin firming but there are so many out there, I don’t know where to start.

    2. Wardrobe oxygen just did an honest review of the NuFace. In summary, it seems to work if you use it as recommended, thought she did have a mild issue with little zits, but the device itself is unreliable. I think she went through three before she gave up. She recommends getting it from a place with a good return policy like Nordstrom.

    4. I like my OmniLED red light mask. It’s helped calm down redness and reduce hyperpigmentation. I did not like the Nuface; I have rosacea and it started to give me broken capillaries.

    7. My mom has a red light device and her skin looks better than mine; I’ve been feeling tempted.

  24. I sized up since COVID and keep trying to buy suits. I need a rotation of 2 for several work trips coming up this spring. I am seeing more and more suits with jackets that are either double-breasted or have 3 buttons — are these old stock from the late 1990s? I just want a basic suit (so basic as to render it invisible as opposed to any fashion touches).

    1. Ha. The ’90s are back! Haven’t you seen the Buzzfeed articles? All the high school and college girls have long since discovered our babydoll dresses and Doc Martens and everything else. I’m starting to like double breasted look for a statement blazer. If you really need a suit (and I question whether anyone other than a lawyer in court needs a full suit post-COVID), check Ann Taylor – they sell multiple pieces in the same fabric online. Otherwise, I feel like separates are where the world is for professional dress – blazers paired with pants or a dress.

      1. For me, I wear suiting pieces as separates, but want them all to fit back together and make a suit. So ideally, I’d have a dress, skirt, pants (one trim/slightly cropped and one straight-leg and full-length), and a jacket (single-breasted, only 1-2 buttons, and hitting at or slightly above my hip bones). In tropical-weight wool. And lined.

        I have a feeling that I’m more likely to lose the weight than find this in a store in 2023.

        1. Talbots, really. They’re one of the few places I can still find classic suits with lined pants.

          1. Would they have things now or are things too picked over? I feel like this all rolls out after Labor Day and is now gone in the sizes you need (but maybe not? Maybe there are spring items in lightweight wool?). Since TALBOTS has been the answer here a lot lately, do they have a good suit season or just go in now? FWIW, my Talbots doesn’t carry suits but will trying on general-style pants work for figuring out size (I am a P in jackets but oddly need full length pants, especially these days, and to get the rise right). I’m like an 8/10 I’d guess.

          2. Anne-on, have you purchased suiting from there recently? I feel like Talbots hasn’t sold suiting during/since the pandemic.

          3. I feel like it is on the catalog / on the website. I live in a big city and my local store doesn’t stock it but is happy to let you order from the red phone for free shipping and take returns in-store.

          4. They sell it on the website. I’ve bought some fairly recently (like fall 2022.) I haven’t seen wool suiting in a minute, though.

          5. Our local Talbots only has 1-2 suiting pieces in store, so I generally go in to try on their dress pants (which fit similarly to the suits) and then order what I need in store with an associate (to the store) and then return what doesn’t fit immediately. Not the most user friendly process but it saves me the mailing back/forth and waiting for the credit card refunds.

        2. OP, lined tropical wool suiting isn’t something you’re going to find in a mall store anymore. And honestly, it probably hasn’t been sold in a mall store in a decade or so. Check websites before you drive to a mall. J.Crew miiight have something. Brooks Brothers has been hit or miss since they got bought out. Talbots might have one or two solid colored suits, but they’ll be ponte or “travel friendly.” Ann Taylor has suits and lots of different pieces in the same fabric, but they aren’t wool. Tahari might still be wool (idk, my hourglass shape doesn’t fit their straight cuts), but they’re famously unlined. I’d say look into the higher end brands sold at places like Bloomingdale’s.

          1. I have looked at all the stores named in this thread and have not been able to find wool, tropical or otherwise, at any of them. J crew still has a wool blend suiting collection but their stuff doesn’t fit me right. I was excited to learn recently ( on here) that Indochino has started a womens line, but only in select stores. And for those who don’t know, you can’t buy stuff off the rack at infochino; it’s all custom made. But it looks like they’ll probably have wool, so I’m actually planning a special trip to their store a few hours from me so I can try to order one.

            I know some people will say that once you can’t find a certain type of garment in any stores, it’s out of style. That may be true. But I’m ok with being a little out of style.

      1. I’m so annoyed that our local bricks and mortar Ann taylor went out. I used to buy a decent amount of shoes/tops there but I just can’t tell the quality online and I hate their mail returns process.

  25. What are your sources for finding out about fun weekend events? Both in-town and an hour or two away? FB, eventbrite, state tourism page?

    DH and I are trying to be more intentional in 2023 about spending quality fun weekends together rather than life being frittered away to errands and laundry. At the start of each month, we’ll look at our calendars and mark out one weekend where we’ll take a road trip or go to a peach festival or something. We used to do this when we were dating, but holy cow, I had forgotten how much WORK it is to find fun stuff to do! We’re in NoVA, so there are plenty of towns in every direction that might have something going on. We just were so bummed to look back on ’22 and realize we had done nothing but work and chores :/

    2. State and county tourism boards are a good source. If your metro area has a Facebook group sometimes people post stuff there. Copy what friends and local influencers are doing. Sounds like you don’t have kids, but if you do schools and daycares usually communicate about this stuff.
      But I find that it helps to have things that you do year after year so it just kind of becomes automatic. For example, we go strawberry picking every year late May/June, waterpark in July or August, apple picking in September, pumpkin patch in October, turkey trot on Thanksgiving, holiday lights in December, botanical gardens in April/May etc.

    3. When I’m looking for something new, I use a basic search on a search engine using the keywords ‘type of event we’re interested in’ plus ‘location’.
      If I know the events are annual, and we enjoyed it the last time we attended, I will search ‘event by name’ and ‘dates for current year’.

    4. I follow local businesses and restaurants on Instagram and they usually post about things going on.

    6. in NoVA & the general DC area – I rely a lot on the major publications like WaPo, Washingtonian, Washington City paper, and DCist websites, but I’ve also found if I click one event other related events also show up as ads when I browse Facebook too. Have you considered other local magazines for NoVA, Bethesda, Baltimore, etc for their online listings?

    7. Subreddit and my local alternative paper (like the Chicago Reader and Seattle Stranger). I also have an email account I use just to subscribe to this sort of stuff, and so I sign up for any newsletter that matches my interests.

    8. You could check out the site KidFriendlyDC for stuff in the DMV area. Clearly you’re not going to get nightclubs or beer festivals or wineries since it’s ostensibly a site for family friendly activities, but a lot of the activities/festivals/events they list are not just for kids. I’m in MoCo, and our parks and rec department puts out a weekly newsletter of things going on, and I subscribe to that via email. (they also post frequently on FB, but I’m not on that anymore)

    9. I would look into “clockoutdc” on Instagram- for DC related events and happenings. They also have a subscription-style email listserv if you end up liking the free content and want more.
      *I swear this is not my blog, I’m just a fan.

  26. As a pear, I’m sick and tired of having fit issues with jackets. My team recently got Patagonia puffers and of course, what fits my top half doesn’t fit my bottom half. This means that I can’t zip the coat. Even sizing up doesn’t help the problem.

    I’m both athletic and outdoorsy and for whatever reason these brands seem to be the worst offenders (Patagonia, North Face, REI brand).

    I’m usually a 6 on the bottom and a small up top. I do have about 10 lbs to lose, but even when I was smaller I had this problem. It’s so frustrating.

    I also have this problem with longer coats like parkas or wool coats, but it’s much less severe (aka only a problem when I’m bigger than I am now). Ditto dresses (my favorite attire).

    2. Preach, preach, preach. It doesn’t matter what size I am, Patagonia doesn’t fit me AT ALL. Marmot fits me decently, and I’ve had some luck with Columbia, although it varies depending on the style.

    3. FWIW, Patagonia is notoriously slim fitting but yes, 100%, yes. I’m in finance and I’m gifted an odd number of Patagonia puffers and I can’t wear a single one. I’m swimming up top but can’t get it to zip around the hips.

    5. This is a good example of the model being male (what would men like) and then trying to do the women’s version as an exception.

      Based on other feedback, ask to switch to Northface next time!

    9. If it’s something you either really otherwise like, or need to make work, take it to your tailor and have them replace the zipper with a bidirectional one.

  27. I started lifting again and ever since I’ve been so hungry. I’m 5’4, 145 lbs and aim for 1800ish cals/day (as recommended by my dietician). I eat a pretty decent balance of protein, fat, and carbs (and plenty of fruit and vegetables) and I’m still having trouble being satiated. I’m making a concerted effort to each snack/meal has a good balance. Any suggestions?

    I don’t meet with the dietician again for a month, but will definitely address this with her when I do.

    1. I find a full bag of plain microwave popcorn to be a really filling snack. I season with the little shakers of seasonings they sell and it’s a great snack. Also fruit with lots of water in it – melons, grapes instead of apples, bananas, berries – keeps me fuller, too.

    2. Are you drinking enough water? Dehydration can feel like hunger. Even uf you’re not dehydrated, water can help with satiety.

        1. Maybe add something salty, if you’re drinking that much water!

          Olives, pecorino cheese, egg with salt…

    3. I find that hot herbal tea and peanut butter really help me when I’m hungry between meals/my bigger snacks.

    4. When I have particular intense strength workouts, I have to eat a protein-heavy snack within an hour or I feel awful. I can’t do dairy, so this is usually something like hard-boiled eggs, smoked salmon on whole-grain toast, a large handful of pistachios, or the like. Carbs don’t do much for me after a workout.

      1. +1 whenever I increase workouts (either in number or intensity), I up my protein and lower carbs (not crazy low carbs, I just sub in more protein which naturally leads to fewer carbs). Protein fills me up way more especially if I’m working out

    5. I drink two scoops of Orgain powder with 20 ounces of water and lots of ice immediately after my workout. I keep Orgain in my desk at work too in case I get really hungry later in the day.

    6. I have this issue too when I am working out more (and feeling great because of it). I have actually tried to make my meals bigger. Sometimes it is adding an extra egg to something, sometimes 1/2 a small avocado. I find having a bigger meal helps me more than returning for additional snacks.

    7. I mean of all the disordered nonsense this takes the cake. If you’re hungry eat more food.

      2. “Eat more food” isn’t helpful. She’s lifting, she’s expending a lot of energy, she needs nutrient-dense food to keep her going.

        OP: I also lift and here are my go-to snacks on lifting days:
        – Apple or banana with nut butter
        – Small smoothie but with just nut butter, banana, milk/milk equivalent, protein powder and ice. You could add greens. Fruit smoothies cause a blood sugar spike/crash on the days when I lift, it’s not sustained energy.
        – Tuna or chicken salad with seed crackers (like Mary’s Gone Crackers)
        – If you like boiled eggs you could do a couple of boiled eggs with seed crackers, or just by themselves
        – Handful of Costco peanuts from the big metal container
        – Two string cheeses and seed crackers

        It’s all about dense protein and slow carbs. The vast majority of protein bars have too much sugar, too much artificial sweetener, or not enough nutrient density to work for me.

        Unless you need to be in serious weight-cutting/calorie restriction mode (and from your stats it doesn’t seem like you need to be, unless you’re training for a fitness competition or something), it’s fine to eat a little more on the days you lift. You don’t need to eat an entire extra-large pizza but additional calories are okay and you may find that if you eat more on lifting days, you’ll be less hungry on non-lifting days because your body’s not trying to make up the calorie deficit.

    9. Are you trying to lose weight or maintain? Maintenance for you is more like 2500 calories/day according to the NIH Healthy Body Weight Planner (assuming you are ~45 years old with a desk job). Of course you are hungry if you are trying to lose weight and eating less than that.

  28. Does anyone have the JCrew Oversized Cashmere Wrap? My office is frigid and I need something to cover my arms when it’s particularly drafty. I envision looking really chic with it draped over me… probably will look like a burrito but whatever. I’m cold. This is something I’d probably leave at the office, draped over my chair when not using. Open to other recs, too!

    1. I don’t have this one but I have a similar looking one from Cuyana from years ago. I feel very chic in it and it’s warm, but my son said I looked like a Jedi. So much for the peanut gallery.

      However if they’re going to keep your (and my) office freezing cold, this is one of the better options. Some of my former office mates resorted to Snuggies (remember those?)

      1. If I tell someone they look like a Jedi I mean it as a genuine compliment, FWIW.

        1. I think my son did too, to be honest. Just not what I had in mind (elegant chic) when I bought it!!

    2. Yes, I have 2 I bought on black Friday sales for this purpose–one to leave in my home office and one to leave in my actual office. I don’t know if you’ll look really chic, but they are warm. Basically like a small cashmere blanket.

    3. I’m wearing the one I got for Christmas right now, and I feel extremely chic. I wore it to a meeting and am now cozy at my desk. Multiple ways to drape it! It’s super soft. I’m considering getting a second one!

    2. Go into it knowing that it’s a social club with a side of service (though the service requirements can be quite onerous in some locations). If you fit in with the group’s social vibe, I think it could be a good experience. It was a mismatch for me, personally. The women were nice enough but they weren’t my type of people (and I was not theirs, tbh), and the service projects felt like window dressing to me and I never felt like I was making a real difference. So much of this is dependent on the specific league in question, though.

    3. Yes. Mine is chill and mostly charitable service focused. I know not every city is the same–there can be huge disparities between say New York, Albequerque, and Jackson. I enjoy it because it’s a good way to have access to regular volunteer shifts without needing to commit to doing something every single week/month/whatever and letting people down when you can’t commit. I’ve also been able to meet some ladies around my age in a city where I don’t know many people. A con is I hate that we have to pay a several hundred dollar fee for the privilege of volunteering or buying tickets to events. We’re also all required to have a committee role, which can take a lot of work, depending on what your role is.

    4. Can I tag along and ask about Los Angeles? I was looking at their website, and they ask for your birth date to even get you on the informational pre-application email list. I was so turned off that I gave up.

  30. Good morning! I’m one of the posters here who works FT and is in grad school PT. Until now, my program has been very manageable, but this spring I am taking the two hardest classes in the program, both taught by the same professor who has a reputation as being very challenging.

    Luckily, the classes won’t be at the same time (I take one class in the first half of spring semester and one class in the second half of spring semester). Classes don’t start for 2 more weeks, but I’m already dreading the slog. Once I finish this spring, I will be halfway through the degree but up until now my classes have either been interesting to me, with a great professor, or relatively easy. Unfortunately, these classes are program requirements, not aligned with my background or interests, and are only taught by this one professor.

    My last class was very interesting and taught by a professor whom I loved, but very challenging and I feel like I only barely made it through (mentally/emotionally speaking). It required a lot of work and it was really exhausting trying to do it all while also working full time. I know I’m far from the first person to do this, and I won’t be the last but I’m just dreading the next semester.

    I’m concerned because I feel like I’m borderline burnt out. I was fortunate to be able to take off the week between Christmas and New Years, which was my first time off from both school and work at the same time in a year! I just don’t feel like I have it in me to gear up for yet another semester right now. I just think about the next 6ish months and it feels daunting.

    I want to be better about building in breaks or relaxation for myself, but money and time are tight so I do struggle on how to do that effectively. I learned the hard way after having a meltdown after my final last month that I need to be more proactive when it comes to managing stress and exhaustion. FWIW, I’m both in therapy and on antidepressants/anti-anxiety medication.

    I guess looking for any suggestions on managing stress on a budget, getting enough rest and relaxation/recuperation (which I recently learned are different things!) while balancing a lot going on, and getting through a rough semester.

    1. What is the objective of the degree? Do you need to hit a certain GPA in order to get tuition reimbursement? Can you take one of them pass/fail? I think this could be a time to adopt the “good enough is good enough” mantra and not aim for perfection in class. Will a C cut it? Definitely wouldn’t for me in grade school or undergrad, but grad school where I just needed the letters after my name in moments in time where I was BURNT? You betcha that “C’s get degrees” was good enough.

      1. Unfortunately, I need a B+ for my work reimbursement and a B to remain in my program.

        Work reimburses 50% of each class up to 10k a year and I can’t afford to not be reimbursed, unfortunately.

    2. A friend of mine who worked FT the entire time she was doing her undergrad and grad degrees swears by the Rest Day: have one day each week that has no school tasks and no work tasks.

      1. I should try this. In previous classes, I’ve had a paper or other larger assignment due everyday other Sunday at 8am meaning that I usually spend most of my Saturday those days working on the assignment. Classes are Mondays at 6pm so usually have reading, homework, and quizzes to do on Sundays too.

        Even on weekends I can get a free Sunday, that’s the day I end up doing my food shopping, cooking, laundry and cleaning for the week.

        I’m often too drained after work to do more intensive school work so I just do reading and discussion boards on weeknights. It’s really challenging for me to work on a paper on a week night, but if I get better at that it could free up my weekends. I do a lot of research and report writing at work though, so after working a full day it’s tough to do more.

        1. Are you grocery shopping in-person? A lot of places do free pickup, and honestly paying a little extra for delivery might be worth the time you get back.

          1. Just checked and the only pickup option is to drive up and I don’t have a car. Luckily, I’m only 1.5 blocks from the grocery store so it isn’t a huge time or energy suck!

            Unfortunately if I don’t cook by Sunday my whole week is shot.

    3. Don’t start stressing about the class before it even starts! I always found that those reputations for hard classes/professors tended to be overblown.

    4. I had a semester like that and the things that helped me were:
      – Take a walk every single day. Even if it’s just 10 minutes around the block to get a dose of fresh air. Make sure that you are doing something that is not work, not school, and good for your body/mind.
      – To the extent you are able, cook some food and stash it in your freezer. You can pre-cook ground beef, wrap it in freezer paper and plastic and then toss it into quick pasta recipes. Ditto on things like cubed chicken or roast turkey. I liked making freezer burritos with chicken, salsa and rice – then I always knew I had a quick meal if I hadn’t been to the store that week.
      – As soon as you get the syllabi, plan around them with work. Take a day (or two) off before a big paper is due or an exam. If you are able, take a day off mid-semester just to give yourself a chance to get caught up on reading or to think critically about what you’ve learned so far.
      – Book a hotel room or a spa appointment NOW for the weekend after you turn in the last assignment. Even if it’s something inexpensive – give yourself something to look forward to, don’t wait until the semester ends because your brain will be fried.

      You got this!

    5. I was recently in grad school FT while working FT. I found that I was able to manage relationships with professors differently (adult to adult) than when I was in grad school right out of college and not working at all. It seemed like magic to my younger and less experienced classmates — but professors who were scary to them were more like more like difficult people that needed to be handled to me.

      This is meant to be encouraging for you, not bragging for me! YMM, obviously, but I wonder if you may find out more specifics about this professor from someone who took these classes, and/or reach out to them early on to build a relationship. Their reputation was earned somehow, but they may not be as challenging for you as for other people. (There are also professors who are unpleasant for everyone no matter what, but even for those there may be workarounds that you can find out about.)

  31. Back in 2008 I had a beautiful suit custom-made when I was in Hong Kong. It no longer fits. Any thoughts on how to resell it? It’s a classic cut (4-button jacket, pencil skirt in medium-gray summer wool, fully lined) that I’d still wear today if it fit my body or my workplace. I don’t think I can sell it online because it doesn’t have a label.

    On second thought, is anyone here interested? It’s roughly a size 2/4. The skirt is 23″long. If you post a burner email, I can send photos and more detailed measurements.

  32. There were a couple of junior people at my company who helped me out on an urgent matter while the rest of the company was on vacation last week. I was going to send them a small token of appreciation, like under $50. I was thinking Starbucks or maybe Sugarwish? Anything else fun and interesting you can think of? (And because it always comes up, no, I cannot give just give them cash – it would come off as very cold and impersonal in my office culture.)

    1. I’d just go Starbucks or local coffee shop (if you’re all in the same area). I’d be delighted to get a “free” coffee or two as a thank you for a favor.

    2. Is there a coffee shop or restaurant in your building or nearby? I like those kinds of gift cards, especially if the places are local instead of Starbucks.

    3. I love coffee, but I also love it when someone emails my boss to compliment me. Is that an option?

      1. I’d do both. Send an email thinking then and copy their boss so they have it come review time and also a gift card. Maybe a visa gift card so they can use it anywhere or to place near the office. I’d avoid Starbucks for obvious reasons.

      2. I have a super long memory for kind people who emailed my boss to compliment me (cc’ing me) from way back when I was junior. I’m still grateful.

    4. I wouldn’t give them a cash equivalent for just doing their jobs. I might get them a treat, like cake pops or chocolate or a coffee, or take them out to lunch or drinks.

      1. Yeah, obviously culture varies but I’d find it really strange and a little patronizing to receive a material gift for doing my job. An email singing my praises to my boss (with me ccd) would mean a lot though. I understand that you can do both and it sounds like maybe your company has a gifting culture. Personally I would be uncomfortable with that. Just my 2 cents.

  33. Everything old is new again I guess…except they used to be called dressing gowns and they were worn around the house before getting dressed for the day.

  35. Any recommendations for a dietician or nutritionist that is online? I am not looking for weight loss per se, but to keep me on track with healthy habits and or create a sustainable plan for me to use with travel and limited time.

  36. I’m going to be in Mexico the last week of January and my summer wardrobe desperately needs help. Any suggestions for where I could get cute warm-weather-appropriate clothing this time of year? I basically have two dresses and one skort and that’s it. I’m a size 14-16.

    1. My answer would be Target online – they carry a lot more variety on the website. I have always found lots of cute stuff there last-minute, and I’m your size.

Comments are closed.