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Coffee Break: Viv D’Orsay Pump

brown suede d'Orsay pump

I always like a good d'Orsay heel, and this one from Sam Edelman looks like a winner.

Reviewers extoll how “chic and sexy” these “fabulous” pumps are, with multiple reviewers shouting out how comfortable they are. It does sound like they run a bit on the big side, though, so you may want to size down if you're between sizes.

The pumps are $140 at Nordstrom, Zappos, and elsewhere; they're available in a ton of neutral and nude-for-you tones. (Ooh, and Zappos has some lucky sizes on sale.)

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Sales of note for 12.5

117 Comments

  1. This could out me but I don’t care.

    My dad is blowing 25% of his assets to buy a very large sailboat. He is almost 80 and medically frail. He weighs less than I do (I weigh 120 pounds) and is injury prone. He has never operated a boat close to this size before. He thinks he can learn it all via YouTube videos. I have been on smaller boats with dad and didn’t feel safe.

    My dad is just assuming that his adult children will enthusiastically devote their free time to support him in this. That is a hard no from me. My dad has narcissistic tendencies and my whole life he just does things and expects us to enable him. I am done with that.

    What do I say at this point and how do I say it? I have gently explained that I have a demanding job, will not have time for any of this, and it feels like he is ignoring me or just refusing to understand. My siblings are avoidant and will not be standing up to him (but also probably will not show up, and I live closest and always have to pick up the slack).

    1. No means no, so I think you’re good here. I totally get what you’re saying, logically, but I can see an 80 YO man being in YOLO mode.

    2. This sounds familiar with some of the issues I’ve seen in my own father. I’ve posted lately about his severe mental illness asking for tips and advice. Has your father been evaluated for mental status changes or mental illness? Is he engaged in care? If you know who his primary care doctor is, I suggest making a call to ask them if they could reach out to him for an appointment and assessment. You have the right to call and make the request, even if they don’t tell you anything about his care.

      Otherwise, as hard as it is, you have to gray rock him and not engage on the boat issue. It’s really terrible and it honestly doesn’t feel that effective to me, but it’s worse to go along with the story.

    4. In my state, you need a license to operate a boat. Maybe a sailboat doesn’t count where you live? But if he doesn’t have a license for what he’s doing or is unsound, we have marine police for a reason.

      1. You need a captains license in my state for sure. Unless it has no motor (highly doubt it).

    5. You don’t have to go on the boat with him but I don’t think it’s really your place to talk him out of it. I agree with you it’s a waste of money but he’s an adult and it’s his money to waste. The one thing I think it’s fair to do is make it clear that your financial support will be limited if he becomes destitute. It’s not reasonable for him to blow his money on boats and then expect you to provide for him.

    6. Are you worried that he’ll 1) want help with the boat or that 2) he’ll injure himself and need care or that 3) he’s going to run out of money?

      1 is probably the easiest—you tell him and siblings that you’re not going to help with the boat and then you follow through.

      2 and 3 are more delicate, but I think you should also probably talk to him and your siblings about your concerns and what help you’re willing and not willing to provide. And then you follow through.

      No one needs to understand any of it, and I’m not sure anything you say will totally shield you from pressure. So, just say what you need to say to feel like you gave fair warning.

    7. I’m sorry you are grappling with this. It sounds like you’ve already communicated that you don’t think this is a good idea, but if not (or if you want to repeat yourself), meet him in person and tell him. It isn’t a negotiation, it isn’t up for debate: Dad, I can’t stop you from making this decision and choosing to spend your time and your money this way, but I won’t be able to support you in this endeavor. I’d love to see you for (dinner, holidays, etc), but you’ll need to find another first mate for the boat.

      And then make sure he has a good emergency system on the boat, and maybe has a medical info bracelet to wear.

    8. You don’t have to show up. You don’t have to pick up the slack. Stand up for yourself!

    9. “I have gently explained that I have a demanding job, will not have time for any of this, and it feels like he is ignoring me or just refusing to understand.”

      Remove the “gently” from your stance and be super direct. “Dad, I do not support this. I do not think it is safe or wise, and I refuse to help you with this. i will not be part of your boat excursions not will I assist in any boat activities.” and then hold the boundary.
      if you’ve never been this direct with your narcissistic dad I understand this will be a hard thing for you to say but it frankly sounds like it may be long overdue? Good luck. It isn’t easy but you can do it.

    10. You are not going to be able to control whether or not he buys the boat. You can control your involvement. I have something similar going on with my parents and a lake house that is too much for them to manage but they refuse to accept that DH and I have zero interest in.

      “I’m sorry I am not available to help with that.” or just “I am not available to help with that.” Repeat ad nauseum. Don’t discuss, explain, or justify, just change the topic.

    11. Why are you being gentle? Yeah he’s your dad and 80, but this isn’t a man who is getting a convertible despite living in New England; he’s buying a sailboat and expecting your help. Firmly tell him help is not forthcoming. Tell him to act like an actual boat owner and join the local Power Squadron, take lessons, and learn what he is doing.

      FYI, 75-80 is when most people give up their sailboats and move to power boats.

      1. My mom is late 70s (and weighs less than OP’s dad) and has no intention of giving up her sailboat. This is obviously a different situation because she knows how to sail and didn’t buy the boat on a whim, but I don’t think it’s fair to act like there’s a blanket age cutoff after which you can’t sail.

    12. My parents are in their 60s, healthy and experienced sailors, and we still had a talk about safety when they decided to buy a sailboat and they were clear they would do it for a few years and then sell the boat. I’m sorry, OP, this sounds tough. What kind of sailing are we talking here? Is it a dinghy or a yacht? I would be very concerned about solo sailing a large boat at that age. Even a dinghy requires basic safety training especially if you are going out alone. I’m a licensed sailing instructor and won’t sail alone. I would make it clear to your dad that you won’t sail with him and raise these concerns as compassionately as possible.

      1. Thanks for this, everybody.

        The sailboat is in the 40 foot range and we live on a coast so he is talking about long-range excursions.

        Oh and he has owned motor boats before. They all became my problem to manage, including the sale of the last one just last year.

        1. This is the problem right here. Just don’t manage them. If you were raised by a narcissist that might sound impossible, but it is easy once you get the hang of it!

          My FIL bought a giant yacht that he shouldn’t have. Constantly complained about the expense and maintenance. We just nodded. Then, he asked and then demanded that we buy it (so that he keep using it but have our money support it). We said no, over and over again. The longest explanation was “we don’t want it.” He eventually sold it. The end. We never spent a dime or a second supporting that boat, even though he felt entitled to both. (He also asked us to buy a mansion worth 8 times our house. Not joking).

          Your siblings have it right. Other people are telling you to tell him it’s a bad idea, but a speech will not change a thing.

          1. This. Just because you have to keep saying no repeatedly doesn’t mean you need to be more involved or provide more explanation.

          2. Yup.

            – I’m 40 but finally learned this is how to deal with my mother and couldn’t be happier.

        2. How do they become your problem to manage? Just don’t.

          Your siblings have opted out. You can too. He can live with the consequences of his choices.

    13. My dad just bought a larger sailboat but he’s been sailing on his own for maybe 25+ years. Is your dad an experienced sailor or being irrational? Sailing can be very physically demanding. It’s required strength, attention to the winds/weather, and quick movements when needed. My dad has a captains license and is a few years younger than yours but my dad knew when to upgrade to an easier boat to sail. If you dad buys a new boat, realizes he can’t sail it, I think they have pretty bad resale values like a car. They are also VERY expensive to maintain at a marina all year. Sorry for my rambling. I think all you can do is stress to him that you think this is a very bad idea and do not join him in his sailing trips.

    14. Just don’t. Why is this your problem? Why are you selling your dad’s boats? Just…let the man be a wacky 80 year old man. If the boat sinks it sinks.

      My dad has owned money pit boats my entire life. He lived on one for a decade. It makes him happy. His boats are not my problem and I would be constantly stressed if stressed if they were.

      Don’t help with it.

      1. If he buys the boat, spends a lot of his money, has an accident on the boat, needs long term care, has no long term care insurance, doesn’t have enough money to pay for care, boat is sitting rotting in the slip (so is costing money and cannot be liquidated) . . . Then what?

  2. I am not a sneaker person. That said, I’ve realized having a white pair of sneakers in my wardrobe would be very handy. What are your favorite plain white sneakers to wear with jeans and shorts that would be good for lots of walking?

    1. I absolutely love my Cole Haan GrandPros, they are easy to wear and excellent for walking. They have styles that are all-white, or if you want to shake it up, there are some that are white with different accent colors.

      1. this! I swear I do not work for Cole Haan, but am just an ardent supporter of these sneakers.

    2. My Nike court vision low sneakers are my current wardrobe workhorse, and a Senior Attorney rec from way back. I need to clean them: I wear.m them so often they’re looking pretty dirty.

    5. Golden goose superstars work great for my finicky narrowish, low volume feet. There is a slight wedge which makes them super comfortable for hours of city walking. Not everyone’s taste but truly my most comfortable shoes.

  3. Trying again to get out of moderation…

    My dad has decided to spend 25% of his fairly limited assets to buy a very large sailboat. The mooring fees alone will be over $500/month. Dad is almost 80 and medically frail. He weighs less than I do (I weigh 120 pounds) and is prone to injury. He has never operated a boat close to this size before. He thinks he can learn it all via YouTube videos. I have been on smaller boats with dad and didn’t feel safe.

    My dad is just assuming that his adult children will enthusiastically become his crew and devote our free time to support him in this. That is a hard no from me. My siblings and I have spent much of our adulthood catering to him and I am over 40 and want to live for myself a bit.

    What do I say at this point and how do I say it?

    I have tried to explain that I have a demanding job, will not have time for any of this, and it feels like he is ignoring me or just refusing to understand. My siblings are avoidant and will not be standing up to him (but also probably will not show up, and I live closest and always have to pick up the slack).

    1. I agree with the advice above to just not engage and to refuse to have anything to do with it. Even if he buys it, just refuse to have anything to do with it. I’d be amazed if he were even able to get it out of the slip by himself.

      If you do want to see if you can head it off, is it possible to contact the seller and/or the marina and try to put a stop to the sale? Not saying it’s legal or ethical, but I would be mightily tempted…

      1. No, don’t do this. Not only is it illegal and unethical, it’s a great way to destroy your relationship with your father (and potentially siblings, if they find out) and get yourself cut out of any future inheritance.

        Use your words and tell him “Dad, I have no interest in sailing and I won’t be helping you maintain the boat.”

        1. And, once you have said that, don’t do anything with the boat. Don’t show up, don’t ask about it, don’t hem and haw. Just pretend it doesn’t exist. If he asks you out on the boat, say you’re busy. If he starts talking about the boat, change the subject.

          1. This seems like a bit much to me. It’s not like he’s doing something cruel or offensive by wanting to sail a boat? I do this with certain topics (when my mom wants me to lose weight, for example), but not with her interests and hobbies (when my mom wants to talk about antiques, gardening, or even things I disapprove of more like going out on a motorcycle).

            If I thought she was going to waste a lot of money on an expensive boat, I totally would try to at least find a cheaper “beginner” level boat or even a boating class where she could scratch the itch in a safer way and without spending too much money.

    2. He doesn’t have to understand. Don’t discuss it with him. Don’t ‘show up’. Do not go for rides on the boat, do not discuss the boat after he buys it. Ignore that the boat exists. If the bank seizes the boat to make good on the loan? Shrug. That’s too bad. How’s the weather?

  5. Any UK (or other) people familiar with Solovair shoes? I mis-judged the size, but they look like very solid well-made shoes, which I am not used to seeing at my budget. And b/c they are men’s shoes it seems, my duck feet may well be happy in them, esp. my little toes.

    1. I have a pair of their Chelsea style dealer boots, which is in the 493 last shape. That’s a sole / last shape that works well for my feet, which have narrow heels and broad toes and balls of feet.

      The quality has been great, and I could wear them straight out of the box, no breaking in period at all. I bought mine a half size up to have room and extra layer for cold days, and they were true to size and were half a size roomy.

    2. I love mine! Had the Chelsea style for about 3 years and wear them all winter. They took a while to break in, just like old school Docs. I also need the right sock with them or they’re not comfortable – but I think that’s my prominent bony heels that are the problem.
      Considering a second pair now on a different style.
      The sizing is a British so use a converter.

  6. Genuine question, based on the top this morning that people disliked. With so many workwear tops being 100% poly, how are we supposed to evaluate quality these days? Especially with online buying and brands being inconsistent? IDK, I’m so tired of shopping being a never-ending moving target. When I see clothes in person, I can tell pretty quickly whether it’s worth the price or not. Or whether there’s a chance that it will fit well. I would love to just not purchase online anymore, as it’s become a royal pain to buy loads of clothes that don’t fit or are just crappy, but the workwear shopping near me is bleak. Ten years ago, I had way more in-person options. Really curious how other people are handling this.

    1. FWIW, if it is polyester, it had also better be machine washable and dryable with no babying. I really only buy internet from BR, JCrew, ON, LE, and Amour Vert (love their washable silk Renata shirts).

    2. Most of my purchases are from high quality thrift stores. Buying tons of clothes online without knowing that they fit is too much effort for me.

      I have bought some clothes from Quince online. Their sizing is consistent and the fabrics are natural. Their washable silk tops are the same price as the polyester ones from other brands, and I can find them on Poshmark too.

      1. TBH, thrift shopping would be way too much effort me. I’m curious whether Quince fits taller women well. The price point is certainly attractive.

        1. If you’re tall, I’d go for the premium fabric clothes at the Swedish brands.

          H&M, &other stories, COS, Arket have all got natural fabrics in between the poly hell. But there’s also Filippa K, Tiger of Sweden, Acne and other Swedish brands – they are made for tall people.

        2. I’m on the taller side (5’10”) and I’ve done okay with them. Sleeve length is decent. Not Tall-long, but no shorter than a regular size at BR. Torso length is probably average, so could be an issue if your height is in your torso. I’ve been really happy with the sleeve length on sweaters (cashmere fishermans sweater was plenty in the sleeve for me).

          I tried some of the ponte straight pants, which come in 3 length. I originally ordered the 32″ inseam and it was too long for me to wear the way I wanted (i’m usually between a regular long vs tall at the Gap), so I went with the 30″ in order to hit at the ankle.

    3. I agree with you on in-person retail. It’s in a vicious cycle right now- I’ve learned from going into stores that they have relatively little in stock vs. online, which has trained me not to waste my time going to a store to see if they have whatever it is so I can try on before buying.

    4. I don’t really know what to buy anymore. For years I just bought knits but I want the crisper look of a woven fabric. I also don’t want to dry clean for both environmental and budget reason, but I’m willing to do the gentle wash hang dry thing. I can rarely find 100% cotton in a shirt that isn’t either a classic button front style, which is not the style tor me, nor a very casual beach style. I’ve tried rayon but after washing it never looks the same as when I bought it, both in structure and often in length. Silk would be nice but I also don’t seem to be able to find anything other than basic shells.

      1. Traditional button-front shirts don’t usually work for me, either, but Quince has nice silk button-front shirts that fit me well and don’t gap.

          1. It’s not just that button downs don’t work for me in terms of fit, the shape is not good on me. I don’t buy them. That leaves no other options for silk tops other than tanks, sadly.

    5. I’m handling it by wearing a JC Pennys skirt my mom bought me in about 2008. At least once a week. And a sweater (probably from a few years later) that is a nice color but has these weird sleeves that I constantly forget how much I hate.

      I keep looking at the sorry state of my now-ancient wardrobe and vowing to buy new things, but when I try, I just get frustrated and get no where. And I find I intensely dislike about 90% of what’s featured here.

    6. I refuse to buy polyester so that’s my solution. Especially at shops where a poly top is $300! No thank you.

    7. I live in NYC so I am spoiled for in person options technically, but just like everywhere else the stock in stores is not that great. But I still refuse to shop online unless I’m buying something I know I will keep. For work tops, I have a few silk tops (Quince, Cuyana, Theory), and wear an assortment of sweaters of various weights. Everything is either silk, cotton, or wool. In the summer I mostly wear dresses so I avoid the top problem that way.

      1. Oh and Eileen Fischer tends to be nicer quality, but I have to try on because their stuff runs large and wide.

    8. Unfortunately I have to shop online because many brick stores don’t carry my size (18) or petite lengths.

    9. I don’t even know. My budget has always been on the low end so the really good stuff is out of reach (and I’ve never had success thrifting). I avoid 100% poly stuff because I’m going to pit it out or stain it, and I try to buy less overall.

    10. General rules … I buy in person for new brands and online for trusted brands. Also, subscribe heavily to if it looks wonky on the model, it’s not getting better in person.

  7. My ex-BIL owes my sister around 50K for when he was refusing to pay alimony or child support to her. That is IMO a lot of $. Court is letting him pay the arrears at $50/month, which is $600 a year, without any interest, which means that it will never really be repaid and with inflation will become worth less and less. The result is that my sister and her 4 kids with him will likely lose their house (in a down market, so that will really hurt them). Why is this OK for courts not to treat family creditors as real creditors??? She is going back to court with him soon (with a lawyer who I think is new). FWIW, her ex is rich (specialty doctor) but a jerk, so he could pay more just doesn’t care to. This is burning me up b/c it wrecks school stability for my nieces and nephews and one is about to graduate. He is such a jerk, but so is the legal system.

    1. that’s ridiculous. does he have any relationship with his kids? or i guess he doesn’t care to have a relationship with his kids. i can understand being a jerk to your ex spouse, but it’s so unfair to the kids who get caught in the middle. also why only $50 a month, that seems very very low given his job and likely income

    2. I feel like there’s this idea that bad parents are rare or profoundly evil or that parents are good for kids unless they’re actively doing crimes against them. But there are so many selfish people out there who practically make it a point to refuse to support their own kids. I had so many friends with dads like this growing up. I think it can really mess a person up to know that their own dad wouldn’t put a dime to say, an emergency hospitalization, unless the courts literally made him, let alone school, housing, etc.

      1. It’s very sh!tty. An ex-friend of mine is begrudgingly paying child support but nickel-and-dimes my friend for every little thing. And he was the one who left. It is profoundly disappointing. He’s somehow conflated supporting his kids with supporting his ex-wife.

    3. His lawyer should be going after any assets he has. Like a car or RV or even TV etc. Kept the monthly payments the same but make sure his assets are being seized.

    4. If he has the ability to pay, the court should be requiring him to make larger payments or pay the entire amount. Hopefully her new lawyer will be able to get to the bottom of this. I assume he has been hiding assets or cashflow from the court?

      1. Or his financial situation is not what the OP thinks it is. He may have debts she’s not aware of, or his practice may be struggling, or something like that.

        1. Or he was clever enough to hide his money for the express purpose of not helping his own kids.

        2. I think he is just a guy who overspends and sees this as optional vs other creditors. His income isn’t the problem, it’s the spending.

          2. Yeah, when I was working in family law it was always the physicians who were the worst about living above their means.

    5. Wow how awful. I can’t believe he doesn’t even owe interest on the missed payments.

      1. Ex-wives and the children who depend on the $ from dad don’t have good lobbyists. “Default interest” would be what I’d want here, but even interest to keep even with inflation would seem to be required given the low monthly payments. Yeesh.

      2. In my state, the statute on child support requires interest at like 7% or something on arrears.

    6. I am recently divorced. After seeing how the courts work, or actually don’t work, I took a very strategic approach. I negotiated that I owe him $250,000 and I have 5 years at zero interest to pay him.

      Currently my ex husband is not paying his fair share. As a business owner he is able to hide income and I use imputed income to argue my case for 50/50 split of costs. I do the admin which is unpaid labor but really 50/50 of costs is my baseline of what is acceptable.

      For each shared expense he doesn’t pay I take it from the balance that is owed. I highly recommend this approach. If you can’t structure it this way, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to have pension funds transferred over so your pension account so at least you have retirement taken care of. Assets extend beyond cold hard cash. Get what you can because it’s better than nothing.

  8. I actually bought these from Saks Off 5th in black to wear to a gala a few weeks ago. I did have to size down one size but they were insanely comfortable out of the box, and looked nice with a black co–tail dress. Definitely recommend if you are looking for something like this.

  9. Can any Chicagoans here make a good recommendation for a CPA/tax attorney? (Not for this year but going forward.) Our finances are complex – multiple trusts, small salaries with big bonuses, lots of investment movement – and I think the CPA we’ve had until now isn’t quite cutting it now that things have grown more complex for us. Any recommendations? Thanks!

    1. So caveat is that I don’t have super complicated taxes (but do have things like large bonuses, weird equity pay type things). I have had good experiences with Naviaux Associates for the past 2 years. They are a small firm, which I liked because they are super responsive and agile with changes.

  10. I got some emails last week that a startup that I’ve bought things from before is doing a community round of funding. As far as I know, this company seems like a pretty good bet. I want to invest a couple of hundred dollars — I would be sad to lose it, but it would have no major financial impact on me — mostly out of curiosity. Has anyone ever participated in something like this? Is this a terrible idea? I’m pretty competent at investing my retirement savings, but I’ve never done anything remotely risky with my money.

    1. I’m not a securities lawyer, but how are they doing this legally? Did securities law change substantially or did I miss a provision in my limited study of the subject?

      I’d think they’d need accredited investors (those with incomes/net worth above certain levels). And even angel rounds with accredited investors are much higher than a few hundred per investor.

      1. My state has a crowd funding law on the books specifically for this kind of thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if many other states do too.

        OP, I would do it, personally, but only with a relatively small amount of money.

      2. There was (is?) a platform called Nextseed that did crowdfunding for things like this. I put $1000 into a patio brewery/dog park/ restaurant thing and a Vietnamese restaurant. Both are paying me back $1500 at a very slow rate. Who knows if I’ll end up getting the whole amount?

    3. Are you sure you can do a couple hundred dollars? Is it through a venture capital firm or a crowdfunding platform? If you can really do a couple hundred and can afford to lose them that’s fine, but look into it and figure out what you’re getting in return (stock, debt?). DH wanted to do this for a startup he found cool but it was through a VC and the minimum buy-in was 10k which was more than we were comfortable with.

      1. Yup, the minimum is $100! I wouldn’t risk 10k because I don’t know what I’m doing :)

  11. My last parent just died. I am the child in charge of selling the family house, as I live there. Was caregiving before they passed.

    The house is a small-ish 3 bedroom house in a desirable location. But house ~100 years old and needs a lot of cosmetic work. But it works with some nice touches. Family could move in tomorrow. Appraiser just came by and said it should sell without problem, but agrees it needs cosmetic work.

    Any advice on selling the family house in this sort of scenario? I’ve never sold/bought any real estate. I also need to empty the house, figure out what should be fixed/done (if anything). Any advice about that is also appreciated.

    I have to figure out my new job/life/move out of state concurrently, so the timing is a bit tricky.

    1. I’m so sorry for your loss.
      I would ask a friend for realtor recommendations. Have them do a visit and get their advice on what cosmetic fixes to do. Things like painting walls and cabinets give you a lot of bang for your buck. Also start gathering info on when things like the roof, HVAC, etc were last repaired/replaced.

      1. +1 realtor should be able to advise. New paint inside and out, pressure wash the driveway, new hardware for cabinets and doors, new light fixtures/ceiling fans are all easy things to do that will freshen up a house.

      2. Sorry for your loss and commitment to caregiving. I hope this transition goes well for you.
        +1 to getting in contact with a realtor. If you can, I would hold off signing anything committing you to said realtor until you are immediately ready to sell. I had extended family in this scenario that put a lot of time and money into cosmetic and mechanical fixes on a house before they listed the house for sale. The house was sold to a party that later tore down the house because of it’s location to build a new house. So I would hold off assuming you need to fix things without more info.

    2. I am so sorry for your loss.

      So much of this is going to depend on the local market and whether there’s demand for a house that needs work. You should talk with at least 2 different local realtors and get their opinions on the best way to market it — do they think it sells as-is, or would they recommend doing minor projects to spruce it up? Or even selling as-is but offering some sort of a cash rebate to the buyers at closing so they can renovate to their liking?

      Also, make sure you update any insurance coverage to your name.

    3. I’m so sorry for your loss. I used to practice estate work and in general, the estate would list the house at a very competitive price and give the buyer credits if needed. They just wanted to get the home out of the estate asap. Have your attorney handle most of it. Sign the POA and get it done. This is the best to e of the year to list a home for sale (early spring)

    4. Do you have any neighbors who have sold in recent years? I found even folks I didn’t know well were happy to chat and advise in similar circumstances.

      Where I sold, smaller houses in ok shape tended to be torn down, even if bought by a lovely family who said they just wanted to renovate. If that’s the case where you are, you might not bother with improvements. Frankly, if I had the bandwidth, I probably could have saved a bunch of money calling developers myself rather than engaging a realtor. However, caregiver fatigue + grieving + my own life meant I needed all the help I could get.

    5. The best thing you can do is to find the realtor who specializes in your exact neighborhood. There’s always that person who “farms” the neighborhood and if you ask around with the neighbors they should be pretty easy to find. Then ask the realtor what to do, then do that.

      I’m sorry for your loss.

    6. I was too late to respond yesterday, hope you see this – the executor of the will should be doing this if proceeds will go to all the children. My dad was executor for my grandmother and recently my uncle – he kept extensive accounting spreadsheets for all the kids about what $ was coming from sales of what, with reports on what was fair market value and so forth.

      I’m so sorry for your loss.

  12. Hoping for some fashion inspiration just to get me excited about dressing up. This is for a fundraiser at Kiddo’s school (outdoors in April, but California, so honestly I’ll just throw a leather jacket over whatever I decide to wear and be fine). The invitation says “Cocktail attire.” I’m not particularly trying to impress anyone, I just want to feel excited about an outfit (because this is like, a date night! and a night to hang out with some of the other parents that i like!) and blah I don’t. I think part of where I’m tripping up is that I don’t want full coverage on my back (because for work things I always cover my back and down to my elbows) but I don’t like how the whole “high neck low back” thing looks with my (ginormous) chest, and a really strappy thing reads too “sundress”… help?

      1. I could do a jumpsuit! What kind of cut on top would be fun?

        I’d like to keep it under a few hundred dollars?

  13. Best dinner places in and around Berkeley CA? Anything else highly recommend? They’re for a corporate retreat so only have 2-3 open slots that I’d love to optimize. TIA!

    1. Chez Panisse in Berkeley – the mother ship
      Saltbreaker in Alameda – brand new and up and coming
      Fish & Bird Izakaya in Berkeley – fun Japanese place
      Burma Superstar (can’t remember if this is Oakland or Berkeley but it’s amazing)
      Wood Tavern – reliable, delicious food
      Commis in Oakland – blowout tasting menu
      Wahpepah’s Kitchen in Oakland – an indigenous kitchen that is truly unlike anything else

      1. Good list.
        OP, Alameda will be the farthest. If I was in your shoes I probably wouldn’t venture all that way given all the other awesome close options, but if it speaks to you it’s definitely doable.

    2. I would love a corporate retreat that included a dinner downstairs at Chez Panisse. I’ve only been upstairs, and ages ago, but it would be such a treat given its role in California cuisine.

      1. I was just there and it was fantastic but crazy expensive. (Upstairs is a bit less but the full experience downstairs is a real treat.)

    5. Wood Tavern is technically Oakland, but right on the city border and it’s one of my favorite restaurants ever. I’ve had many special meals there. Also along the same College Ave corridor: A16 is delicious and upscale, and so is Belotti Botega, which is currently my DoorDash obsession but you have to order before 7:30. Downtown Berkeley: Gather and Comal have always served classic, good meals whenever I’ve been, in settings with nice ambiance. Temescal Ave. (also techncially in Oakland) has some good spots too: Burma Superstar (excellent) and Pizzaiolo come to mind. If you’re staying at the Claremont, Limewood is a great spot, a bit hit-or-miss for the price point IMO, but the convenience/vibes/view are great. Hope that’s helpful.

      1. Agree with all of these. If Wood Tavern or Belotti make reservations, like, yesterday regardless of when you are coming and a group will likely be tough.

    6. So does it need to have a big group room option? That will narrow down options.
      This one is a little random but I really like The Longbranch Saloon. Yummy cocktails, a cool indoor/outdoor patio that they heat really well as needed and a little off the beaten path.
      Limewood at the Claremont is pretty and has stunning Bay Views.

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