Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Elbow-Sleeve Cardigan
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I love the shape of this short-sleeved cardigan from Nordstrom’s in-house line. The slightly-puffed, elbow-length sleeves make it feel just a touch more special than your typical back-of-the-chair sweater. I would wear this olive green color with just about everything in my wardrobe this summer, but I think it would look especially lovely with the brown Modern Citizen dress we posted yesterday.
The sweater is $129 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XXS-XXL. It also comes in black and “pink wisp.”
Sales of note for 5/15:
- Nordstrom – 3800+ items in “new markdowns” — I kind of wonder if they've started marking down stuff for their Half-Yearly sale that usually starts the week before Memorial Day. Good deals on Veronica Beard, Vince, Reiss (esp. coats), as well as Wit & Wisdom and NYDJ
- Alexis Bittar – Vault sale! 100s of re-issued archival styles up to 70% off, plus 25% off all full-price styles too
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Boden – Up to 50% off with new styles added
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase and 50% off dresses
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 50% off clearance + extra 20% off orders over $125
- Lands' End – Up to 60% off sitewide + extra 60% off sale and clearance
- Loft – 50% off your purchase, and 5/15 only: take 60% off the LOFT Versa collection
- Mango – Weekend exclusive, 30% off everything, and free shipping with $260+
- M.M.LaFleur – Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Supergoop – 20% off sitewide + free Glow Stick (also, free shipping with $50+)
- Talbots – Extra 40% +15% off all markdowns, plus Summer Fridays One Day Sale (5/15), $19.50 pocket tees and $29.50 relaxed chino shorts.
- Theory – 25% off sitewide
- TOCCIN – 30% off select items with code! (You can't stack codes, but on full price items try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off!)
- Vivrelle – Looking to own less stuff but still try trends? Use code CORPORETTE for a free month, and borrow high-end designer clothes and bags!
I went to buy this cardigan and there is no Small option in any of the colors, very odd.
Small is always the first size to sell out in any item. Same with size 7.5 shoes. You’d think manufacturers would catch on and make more of the most popular sizes.
What services does everyone use to send Mother’s Day flowers? Am I going to have trouble finding options for delivery this weekend given how close it is?
I call a local florist
+1
I usually get nicer flowers this way, know they will be on time, and it is cost effective.
Same.
I like Bouqs, have always had a good experience with them.
I use the local florist 1 mile away from my mom. They have an online order form. Its easy, I support a small woman owned business, I don’t care enough to research more.
Costco!
same. Support a local small business and it makes your mom’s local downtown stronger.
I would, but the local florist is $350 for a basic bouquet and Bouqs is $150 for a much nicer arrangement.
daaang. Well i guess that local downtown is strong enough with those prices haha.
Our local florists are no where near $350. In fact, they are cheaper than places like Bouqs.
I use “From you flowers” online + a promo code for free shipping and then always select “florist designed bouquet” — they outsource to a local place and usually they look good!
I know multiple florists. Always call the florist you are going to use directly. If you use some online site, they take a big cut, and it’s stressful for the florist to try to make something that looks decent in terms of what you paid.
Exactly. It’s like the terrible food delivery services that take a huge cut out of the meager restaurant profits.
Whether you can still get a delivery slot depends on market but check – and you might be able to get something like Friday delivery?
Also, as another option (and much cheaper!) I’ve sometimes just used instacart (combined with a text to my dad to go grab them and put them in a vase. Getting a new vase from a florist is just more clutter for my parents rather than a nice gift)
Another thing I learned from knowing a lot of florists: they’re happy to take the vase back!
Yes! I do this and the florist will even come to my house and pick them up when I have a few saved up!
Farm Girl Flowers.
FTD has next day
I haven’t worked in office since before Covid. Back then, my work uniform was a sheath dress and blazer. I understand this is no longer the current style.
I’m about to start a hybrid role as director of legal operations for a firm of about 120 attorneys. I’ll be meeting in person a lot with the partners and firm exec committee.
I don’t want to buy new clothes until I see what others wear and can be guided by that. However, I’ll need some outfits for the initial week or two. Will I look hopelessly out of touch if I wear my 2019 sheath dress and blazer uniform?
FWIW I’m a 36 year old mom of 3, 5’2, size 00. I know pants are the style but I have really never been successful finding work pants that strike the right balance between not overwhelming me and not being skin tight.
what were people wearing when you interviewed? That should give you a clue as to overall level of formality around the office.
your old dresses sound in general fine to wear as you get to know the style. Depending on what the focus of your job is (is it inter-partner relations and possibly more stodgy, or is it being in charge of things like modernizing firm tech and so you want to look ‘current’ for better or for worse) you can then adjust accordingly.
I think what you have is appropriate for the role you describe. Also, everyone dresses a bit off the first few weeks in a new job. It’s expected.
For whatever it’s worth, I’m wearing a sheath dress and blazer today, and I think it’s fine. To be fair, there are no other female attorneys in my office (in-house counsel) and really only a handful of women in my company that I would consider peers in terms of being close to both my age and rank, so I don’t really feel like there’s much to worry about and just wear what I find comfortable, but I think you should be good enough.
I think your approach is perfectly fine. Sheath dresses and blazers may not be super current, but they are certainly professional and not going to put anyone off. I like the combo and as a fellow size 0, 5’2″ woman in my 30s, it just works better on my body than the blouse and pants combos that are more in right now. Super elegant on everyone else, frump city on me.
Exactly. A sleek, minimalistic silhouette works better on a petite frame. More pieces + more fabric + more closures + collars = a big mess on a small person.
If you have any jardigans or boyfriend style cardigans those will bring the formality level of your sheaths down a notch, as well will flats or block heels.
That sounds fine, especially for the first week! It’s a normal work outfit.
I wore something similar to a conference recently and felt perfectly in place
I think that sheath dress plus blazer is a standard boring lawyer outfit that was fine in 2019 and fine today. It’s never going to be high fashion. But it’s appropriate, professional, for forgetable in a good way. I’d wear it for the first week or two and, unless the clothes are terribly out of place or you enjoy clothing and shopping, I’d keep wearing those clothes. I
This. It’s not a faux pas at all. And, I think it’s 100 percent OK to dress for the body you have. A very petite woman in my office is still doing skinny pants with her blazers, and she looks amazing because the proportions are perfect for her.
Unless the firm specializes in marketing or entertainment, that will be perfectly fine (and it is probably fine even then). Law firms are not particularly fashion forward. Boring, traditional and slightly out of date is much better than creative or trendy. Even in LA, we wore sheer hose for at least a decade after it was declared frumpy and out of touch for fear of offending a judge.
Since when are sheath dresses with a blazer out of style. Lol, I wear them almost every day. I agree it works well on a petite frame and is super easy to mix and match.
In those conversations lately about husbands and marrying the right person, one word of caution I would give – think very, very carefully before marrying someone with persistent depression, no matter how good their other qualities. It’s like living life on hard mode, even when things should be easy. I’ve never understood how other women in this position have managed to not get too dragged down by it. Maybe it’s me and I’m not working on the right things, but it’s damn hard to not get suffocated by his heavy blanket.
I’m this person and my husband is a saint. He tells me that he knows it’s harder for me than it is for him. We all have burdens we elect to take on. Nothing is easy.
I was also this person, for the first 16 years of my marriage. I know it was hard on him and I apologized over and over (part of my depression was feeling like I was failing at everything), but I am so glad he stuck with me until I got an accurate diagnosis and things got so much better.
+1 – I have persistent anxiety/depression but am very high functioning. I struggled intensely with a live-in boyfriend who delegated all of his executive function to me when he was in a bad episode. Leaving that relationship was the best thing for both of us – it gave me space to recover and it forced him to get help. I could easily see how we’d have become horribly codependent/resentful if we were married.
+1 – best thing I did for myself was leaving that guy
Is this specific to depression vs. other chronic illnesses because it’s manifesting in saying negative things vs. just being really fatigued and slow? Or is it more that his own difficulty doing things makes everything really hard as a team?
OP here and unlike many with depression, he actually does get a lot of things done – his executive functioning maybe wasn’t the strongest to start, but he can take care of himself. It’s more like letting every setback, no matter how minor, trigger a whole existential dread meltdown about the state of the world/economy/his health/you name it. It’s very frustrating to live with sometimes – can’t we just let a minor issue with the insurance company be that, and not an excuse to find the negative in every last thing around us? It’s glass half empty ALL the time, sucking the joy out of the room.
I thank the poster who blames me for being self-interested – that felt so nice to hear. I appreciate your kind words! But in reality, it’s very hard when you’re a sensitive person with a lot of natural empathy who struggles seeing loved ones struggle.
I’d like to think that talk therapy could eventually help with how much he wants to talk about this (or at least who he vents to!), but I know depression is hard.
And maybe it wouldn’t help! I’m aghast in retrospect how much I talked about my health when I had an undiagnosed condition. I honestly think it was a symptom, like a compulsive cry for help? It went away the day that I started treatment even though I didn’t even believe the diagnosis was right or that the treatment would work (thankfully I was wrong).
I hope someday something helps him with the dread and the meltdowns and the glass half empty! I’m glad he’s still functioning even if he’s struggling.
I get EXACTLY what you are saying in the first paragraph. It can get to the point where you turn off the news whenever they enter the room lest it trigger a spiral.
The worst part is that you blame yourself for getting into the relationship in the first place because you should have known better. But when they were young maybe it seemed manageable, they were happy because they were in love and din’t have adult responsibilities like a house and kids, etc.
Yup – for me it’s not turning off the news so much as censoring myself from mentioning any small inconvenience (or even larger concerns) because I just. can’t. get dragged down into the mire. It’s not worth it to mention my struggles with my boss if it means I have to talk him down from a spiral about inflation or how it was better for our parents. I’m losing his support as he loses mine. It’s not good.
Exactly. Sometimes I fix things around the house before he has a chance to notice them and then don’t mention it. I don’t want a broken drawer glide to lead to a spiral about how we can’t afford to replace all of the cabinets.
Wait. I’m going to sound ignorant but I’m curious. So, I can get like this. My brain can spiral and then my husband will remind me that it’s unproductive and harmful to do this and he doesn’t deserve an upsetting conversation about things we both know are happening and can’t control. So I stop. And I try not to do that.
Is the depression the reason he can’t stop? Like is he physically unable to not go on a rant? Or is it more like because he has depression you’re not allowed to ask him to not do that?
I guess, and this is ignorant, I was kind of raised to believe you owe it to your loved ones to be baseline pleasant on a day to day basis. Of course we all have bad days and get sad but you can’t just be a bummer about world events constantly and expect to have good relationships. That just wasn’t acceptable in my completely ignorant of mental health upbringing. Consistently negative people were not worth being around.
It seems wrong to say you shouldn’t marry someone with persistent depression. But it seems intuitive to not marry a guy who is consistently a drag. I really struggle with the difference.
I strongly suspect that a lot of the people my parents would have called Debbie downers and just a drag to be around had undiagnosed mental health problems. It’s hard for me to think the diagnosis itself changes things and we owe them relationships when they bring negativity everywhere they go.
I think there’s a difference between “has depressed vibes” that a person cannot necessarily mask or disguise (or that a person shouldn’t try to mask or disguise since this can be detrimental to them!) vs. “is ranting negatively on topics they get on stuck on.” I don’t think it’s supposed to be good for either the depressed person or the people around them to listen to the spiral.
It’s one of the things that CBT is used for since it’s cognitive (these are thoughts that are being expressed) and behavioral. So I think it’s fair to remind people to stop, if they can’t remind themselves.
I think it’s a mistake to think that it’s supportive to just listen, the way it might be if someone weren’t stuck and spiraling but just went through something hard and needs to talk about it.
Some people are naturally selfless and are happy to do this heavy lifting for someone they otherwise love, and some people are more self-interested, and cannot. This isn’t a diss, we’re just wired differently.
I don’t think this is true. I think women are socialized to be accommodating and especially useless men very specifically target women who have been conditioned to fill this role, because the men want to take advantage of them.
I guess this is “a take.”
You deserve to be the most important person in your own life girl.
You may think you deserve to be the most important person in your own life (although if that is your belief, I beg you not to have children) but accusing people with mental illness of taking advantage of their partners is harsh and the fact that is directly only at the men is telling.
100%!
How is that not a diss? That’s such a cruel thing to say to someone who is struggling. Wow.
You seem to be taking it personally, but you know perfectly well that people are different in many ways. We each have different strengths.
Don’t try to justify yourself. You wanted to be mean first thing in the morning and you were.
The diss is the very clear implication – “you are self-interested and cannot do heavy lifting for someone you love.” There two types of people (and it’s inherent, according to you, because “we’re just wired differently): “naturally-selfless” people (good trait!) who can do heavy lifting for someone they love (good trait!), and “self-interested” people (bad trait!) who can’t (bad trait!). And yet you’re shocked she’s taking it personally, after you just told her (okay, heavily implied) that she’s selfish and can’t carry a heavy load for someone she loves. Are you always this manipulative with other people? People like you who refuse to own their own words disgust me.
I hope that clears it up for you. Trying to smooth this over as “different strengths (and weaknesses)! tee hee” is intellectually dishonest.
Get a grip. My spouse and I are similar to the ways you reference—no one is trying to “be mean.” Some people just aren’t made to bear this in another person—it bleeds them dry. Some people are very capable of taking this on and want to. Not everyone can be strong for every possible scenario.
Thank you for naming this. I am one of the people who gets bled dry – it’s a very accurate description.
The problem is not lack of empathy, but no protection against being emptied of all energy.
The irony is that people with troubles love to tell me stuff and I can see them visibly lightening, I’m good at active listening.
The cost to me is too high to handle daily, bled dry and wrung out isn’t sustainable.
This has nothing to do with whether you love or like somebody, it’s still unsustainable.
I don’t see this as mean. I’m the self-interested person in my relationship and I find it hard to do the heavy lifting even for someone I love. It’s something I work on but will never come naturally to me. I actually think that’s ok – we all have things we work on to try to be the people we aren’t naturally born as.
Exactly, anon at 9:05. It’s very manipulative and gaslighty – seen it time and time again in my dysfunctional family. I don’t know if these posters think they’re being sly here but it couldn’t be more obvious.
anon 11:05, you seem have very black and white thinking. It’s ok that people are different and have different strengths. Self-interested people make the world go round, it’s not a bad trait, they just do different things for humanity for their own motivations. Calling a spade a spade is not intellectually dishonest.
Nope – not black and white thinking. Just calling you out on your efforts to slither away from the cruel thing you said. We aren’t talking about self-interest in general. We are talking specifically about being self-interested in the context of a loving relationship. It’s one thing to say it about yourself and something entirely different to say it to someone who reached out for support.
You’re not even good at masking what you’re saying.
“It’s one thing to say it about yourself and something entirely different to say it to someone who reached out for support.”
Ding ding ding. We see you!
I’m not masking or slithering, thanks. I said a perfectly valid thing. You’re doing a lot of work to be offended by it.
11:24, I’m good at active listening too, and I can see people visibly lightening. And I have to ration sometimes because the various people in my life don’t know how many other people may have talked to me about their troubles already that week!
But people going through troubles are different than people who are depressed. I don’t see depressed lightening… at all. They just keep spinning wheels, and the troubles never change. I don’t think active listening helps them and doing it every day would drain me and not benefit anyone.
Or some people are very empathic and absorb the depression.
🙄
Oh honey no. It’s this kind of thinking that gets people into and traps them in miserable situations. No one should have to live that way.
Poor thing is making herself a martyr
The spiraling isn’t good for the person who is spiraling either. I think it’s okay to name it and bow out of that kind of conversation!
I spent way too long doing the heavy lifting for someone I very much loved, but I’m glad my self-interest won out in the end. I couldn’t save him.
Lol sure
I understand totally what you say, and it is particularly hard if that person does not take any steps to help address their depression (simple things like stepping outside in the sun – not solving world peace) and assumes that you will address the whole burden.
Honestly a lot of the first world could use more sunlight.
Hugs, OP. My first husband was basically a really good person but at the end of the day I just couldn’t live like that.
Thanks. That’s where I struggle – he’s a wonderful person to the core. But I can’t seem to lift this off him and I’m not sure how motivated he is to lift it off himself. He’s tried all the basics and I know (we both do) how hard it is to “solve.”
If it’s any comfort, my former husband didn’t seem to be any worse off on his own than when he was with me. If anything, I feel like marriage was too much for him.
And we were good friends and good co-parents until he passed away last year.
Anon, this is just my experience, but the “I’m not sure how motivated he is” comment rang very true for me. When we married, my (now ex-) husband successfully managed his depression. When he got older, he stopped being motivated and stopped trying. I stuck with him for about five more years after that, but it was horrendous and he almost dragged me under, too. I should have left earlier. Not saying you should leave, but just know that because you can’t solve the problem for him, if he truly stops trying to get better you’ll quickly run out of options.
His depression is not your job to fix. It’s like addiction –it’s the addict’s job to fix, it’s the addict’s responsibility to address.
Could it be not the depression directly that is so triggering, but his handling of his mental illness?
Mental illness isn’t a free pass to project your struggles onto other people. If he is doing this, that sounds like a problem that requires counseling and personal work on his end to find better ways to manage.
I’ll admit that a relationship can be difficult even with well-managed depression, but it doesn’t need to turn into a resentful situation where you are walking on eggshells.
This is what I was wondering. Sometimes therapy for the other person can help (to learn how to respond, since most of our instincts on how to talk to people weren’t developed with mental illness in mind).
Agree.
No dog in this fight. Neither spouse nor I have depression but my very first thought on hearing about worrying about turning news off or hiding a broken drawer glide is that I’m so thankful. I couldn’t live on walking on egg shells like that. I’ve been there for DH after some major surgeries and I’m a cancer survivor but caregiver in those roles doesn’t involve fear minute to minute like that or a sense of obligation to protect from the unpredictable. It sounds really really hard and unsustainable no matter who you are and most definitely not a reason to shame someone who admits it’s hard.
My SM feeds keep sending me stories about how a neighborhood in Seattle has worked to limit medical helicopter flights into a children’s hospital. I live by (like within a quarter mile and under the flight path) a similar hospital in a a larger city and I cannot imagine morally objecting to flights (but I actually don’t find them bothersome at night or during the day when I WFH). Am I missing something here? The daytime ambulances are more frequent but it’s city living — during the day there are yard crews, so it’s never quiet for long.
Most people are sh!tty. They all just have different thresholds of sh!ttiness.
Agree.
I assume they’re objecting on the basis of noise, not the exorbitant prices these air ambulances charge and how it bankrupts families? I work in a space tangential to this and I am disgusted by how these helicopter companies skirt regulations and price controls, and sometimes the patient doesn’t even make it but the family is on the hook for an insane bill that insurance won’t cover.
Most people are judgment proof, so IMO surviving family can just ignore. And it provides training to keep the helicopters running, so I don’t feel bad. They recover costs when they can, but we know you can’t get something out of nothing.
But it’s hard to ignore a bill for tens of thousands of dollars, especially when it goes to collection and you’re getting letters and phone calls telling you to pay or they’ll take legal action against you. And there could be further repercussions if you end up with a flag on your credit score – denied credit, lower FICO score leading to higher interest rates, etc.
I think all patients have to consent to the chopper and patients need to do any following up for indigent care (there are usually options). But if I had to choose between a 20K flight and dying, I’d choose the flight. And to pursue all insurance, indigent care, write-downs, etc. There is a system and you do have to use it.
It’s like buying a car — the bill is the opening offer. Always negotiate. I realize it’s exhausting, but many people are indigent, hospitals know this, and pushing back is expected.
The problem isn’t a $20k flight, these are $300k flights. That would bankrupt a lot of people.
I think they don’t always give an option. When a child in my family needed a flight for a life threatening medical crisis, they wouldn’t leave without seeing and verifying proof of insurance coverage (this was very stressful since the doctor had said it was an urgent emergency, and if you Google it it’s an urgent emergency, but apparently the helicopter company wanted to make sure they’d be paid!).
wealthy NIMBYs gonna NIMBY.
+1
Although also, if you’re seeing stuff on social media feeds that pushes your annoyed/outraged button, remember that the poster’s incentives are not “communicate a well balanced variety of news”.
I truly do not believe that story. I just don’t. It smacks of social media frenzy. As far as I can tell, there is no actual evidence that connects the neighborhood to the decision other than the fact that some people on the hospital’s board live in the neighborhood.
It is crying out for real investigative journalism, because I am confident whatever the story is is much more complex than the inflammatory social media reels make it seem. And if it is that, then investigative journalism will establish that.
But overall? This is the sort of social media content that should make you suspicious and want better sourcing.
If I were the hospital, I’d realize that I maybe need communications and accurate reporting to have people not lose faith in the system. I’m sure the plaintiffs lawyers out there will pick up on this the next time a tragedy happens and people sue (even if wasn’t a factor, it just looks so bad). A lie, repeated enough, becomes true.
The hospital spokesperson is quoted in many of these stories, e.g. https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/seattle-children-wants-revisit-policy-021255124.html
It seemed that some neighbors were worried about using the helipad to ferry doctors and supplies, so totally misunderstanding how that service even works.
I just did a brief internet search because I’ve also seen this social media post and felt it seemed clickbaity and overdramatized. As expected there’s more to the story but I’ve not seen anything in my brief search that makes it seem like the residents’ concerns are actually quite legitimate. It seems like this dispute has been going on for decades. The community and hospital reached some type of agreement to limit flights back in the 90s. There’s obviously a lot more backstory that I don’t have time or inclination to look into, and for that reason, actual investigative journalism would be the only thing I’d give credence to (and/or -dare to dream – primary source documents, appropriately contextualized.)
I failed to find the actual conditional use permit online, but here’s some contextualization: https://blog.historylink.org/wp-content/themes/Hope%20on%20the%20Hill%20final.pdf
I’ve been thinking the same thing. Everything that I’ve seen just has someone hearing something from a neighbor they don’t like. I hope a journalist takes a real look into it. For the record, if it is true, I agree it’s awful (and personally, I’ve lived near hospitals multiple times over the course of about 25 years and have never been bothered by helicopter or ambulance noise, it becomes background extremely quickly), but I would like to know for sure.
I haven’t seen anyone debate the original 1992 agreement. This journalist was more specific than “some neighbor”
https://www.king5.com/article/news/local/seattle-childrens-laurelhurst-noise-concerns-burdens-lifesaving-care/281-6137dafc-308c-4cbe-9722-dc1a0ef6b4c2
Is no one worried that they’d get sued over this? Hospital people usually care greatly about that. Even if it’s not true, this sounds incendiary and not beyond the pale of how NIMBY rich people work.
It appears that the current agreement requires them to evaluate whether landing directly at the hospital is material to child care. So for a transport from a wreck where the child is not stable, it looks like they would land at Children’s. For a transport for a profoundly disabled child from Yakima who is stable but not capable of being transported by car for hours, they would land a mile away and do the last mile by ambulance.
That seems … completely fine to me? Children’s really is in the middle of a neighborhood, and I can imagine any neighborhood wanting to minimize the risk of helicopters approaching at a low level over houses. Not so much for the noise concern but because helicopters crash pretty often relative to other air transport. So saying “yes, of course, when it matters” seems totally fine?
Idk I’m clearly missing the drama.
Both children’s hospitals in Charlotte are in $$$$ neighborhoods and I’ve never heard a peep out of the neighbors, half of whom probably work there. Children’s in DC is right next to CU and in restricted airspace (and next to the trauma hospital IIRC) and I remember those as a point of pride in the area, not something people complained about.
My understanding is that the drama was stirred up by a pilot posting on social media who claimed that they were being turned away too often. The hospital’s statement seemed to indicate that they think there needs to be a change.
I haven’t seen claims about specific scenarios, but I cannot imagine that there isn’t a lot of gray area. I also know nothing about these institutions, but some hospitals use medical transport vehicles that are not ambulances, which creates another gray area (and sometimes poor outcomes). Not that the life flight industry isn’t sometimes sketchy too.
Sure, but are you sure that they aren’t operating under a similar arrangement, where stable patients are flown to a nearby landing area and transported via ground for the last few miles? That just seems more logical to me than having helicopters fly low over residential areas unnecessarily.
My in-laws lived 2 blocks from a hospital (temporarily, while building a house) and the helicopter noise was very annoying, especially in the very early morning. However, they never thought to complain to the hospital! Obviously the helicopter flights are necessary, they’re too expensive to do frivolously. If people are seriously bothered they should move.
my dad was medically transported to a seattle hospital (Harborview fwiw) from another state. However, the hospital does not own the helicopter landing pad, and so patients have to be transferred to an ambulance from the medevac and then driven to the hospital (like 3 min max). His room overlooked the helicopter pad and multiple nurses commented on the situation with medical flights and helicopters. I don’t know about the children’s hospital but it could be a similar situation.
Don’t hospitals usually have helipads on their roof? I’ve never seen one without one (two in my city; one in prior city). I know that when EMS gets a patient, they often have to meet the helicopter at a safe landing zone, but I can’t imagine that “flying to the hospital” doesn’t equate to “landing at the hospital” if not ON the hospital. Especially if that hospital has a helipad.
Yes. This is exactly what the story is about. The neighborhood fought adding a helipad so hard and for so many years that the hospital ended up compromising and agreed to use the helipad sparingly when most needed, and otherwise to have the helicopters land at Washington University and then have the patients transported to the Children’s Hospital by ambulance, which is an unusual arrangement.
The hospital said that the helipad on the roof would be more noisy than one on the ground. They may be stepped in it a bit there. In my city, we have traffic, police, news, and general helicopters all the time, in addition to the hospital ones. It’s the flying that makes the noise, especially the ones that hover (i.e., every one but the hospital ones).
I lived in a neighborhood of Oakland where a police chopper would often circle for an hour or more, and it definitely did bother me. But the yahoo article linked below mentions around three urgent heli transports per week to the hospital, which really doesn’t seem like a burden.
+1 our city has the police / media choppers circling to the point where I pull them up on Flight Radar so I know who to be annoyed at. The police one is known as “Snoopy.”
I’ve lived both under hospital flightpaths and in an area where police/media choppers circled, and the hospital noise was waaay less annoying. It would go and it would be over, there wouldn’t be constant circling.
I have several nurse and EMT friends. My sense is that if someone is urgent enough to go by helicopter, they should always be urgent enough to land at the hospital.
I don’t get the outrage over three flights a week. I live about 1.5 miles from a major hospital center with multiple helipads and trauma centers. Every time I hear one, I say a prayer and move on.
This. I live near a busy academic medical center and hear medical helicopters and ambulances daily. If I begin to feel the least bit put upon by the noise, I remind myself others are having a much worse day than am I.
me too! I would just hear the helicopters and say a prayer for them and their families. who is even mad about this?
I strongly suspect that what is happening here is that a game of telephone led residents to the impression that they were going to be getting buzzed constantly and at risk of helicopter crashes in their neighborhood. And then a different game of telephone led the hospital to think that everyone in the neighborhood wanted no flights at all.
It sounds like everyone’s going to actually talk about this issue now. Good. Because I think most reasonably people would agree that air ambulances for actually critical patients should land at the hospital, and it’s okay if air ambulances for stable patients who just can’t travel via car from their home land a mile away. (Children’s provides care for patients from all of Washington and some parts of other states).
Same. I actually do this. I live across the street from a city hospital. I think the saving grace is that it’s a big enough city to have multiple hospitals so it’s not all the helicopter traffic. Nevertheless, I hear one or more helicopters a day and usually multiples on weekend afternoons and evenings. And by “hear” I mean fully experience a helicopter going over at not much better than roof level at our six story building as they are making their landing approach. I’m not particularly religious but I just say a little prayer and get on with my life (or my sleep). I wouldn’t dream of complaining about seriously injured or ill people being transported by the quickest possible means.
This is a tangent but I’ve worked to limit my outrage lately and this is exactly the kind of thing where I notice a mental benefit if I ignore or skip reading these stories.
People in my town complain about every kind of noise at every hour of the day and night. (The only thing worse than a noise they don’t make themselves is someone walking down their street under the age of 50 that they cannot immediately identify.) And it’s just an UMC area of Los Angeles – the median home price is several million less than Laurelhurst.
My guess is that this local issue somehow wound up at the top of the algorithm even though there wasn’t a recent crisis or public controversy. It’s kind of a slow news period (or maybe it’s better to say it’s such a depressing news period) and something that seems so obviously wrong (sick kids in helicopters good, crabby neighbors bad) is sort of a feel-good outrage story. There’s also a dearth of local news coverage that is especially bad on the West Coast, Seattle included.
I’m having to go to the office more and need help refining my look. I asked about virtual stylists here recently and didn’t get many responses. We don’t have Nordstrom etc. where I live. I’m in house and don’t have a lot of role models, but the few female leaders wear lots of colorful blazers and nondescript pants. I prefer fine knits and neutrals, and when I need to be really formal lean toward suiting in slightly non traditional colors or fabrics (dark green, herringbone, etc). I thought I was doing okay but noticed when I was in recently wearing a sweater set and slim pants all the admin were wearing outfits similar to mine. I am up for a promotion and need to step it up. Any recommendations?
I follow Queen Letizia of Spain on insta and her outfits seem to be the most like mine of any public figure (in my dreams, Queen Maxima, but I’m more of a quiet black visuals person for workwear). Very Law & Order vibe ( if it were set in Madrid).
Love her and her looks! I have tried to imitate some of the royal looks but they do a lot of matching colored suits which seems like a bit much for a regular day at the office. Occasionally Kate has on something I would consider business casual. I’m having trouble finding affordable equivalents of most of this stuff outside of Boss and Reiss.
is your issue finding comfortable blazers in neutral colors? Because I think you answered your own question a bit — soft sweaters aren’t sending the message you want.
I found that sizing up in blazers / jackets was what I was missing. Not going to stretchy fabrics, but getting the right size in a structured piece.
That’s fair. I feel like I never achieve the look I want when I just wear the blazer over a knit or silk shell with black or navy bottoms. I have gotten a few Veronica Beard blazers and I just never know how to style them without looking overly stuffy. The men wear dress shirts with the occasional sports coat they take off, so I feel like if I don’t tone it down somehow I am standing out as overdressed.
I try for a more interesting top under a plain blazer – so if I slip it off, it’s a pretty printed blouse, not a boring or inappropriate shell.
Melissa Murrel MM Styling do virtual/digital styling sessions. She’s based in the UK, but always give US links for her ytube.
I have seen some people use indyx for styling. If you have a look at the homepage, you can see some of the stylists that are available, and see if you like their work. They can style you existing wardrobe, or recommend new pieces.
I have been looking into this but haven’t booked. I have considered Jamie Lewis Personal Stylist (on tiktok) and next level wardrobe. Nordstrom does digital styling. I also like caphill style as a blog that shows mix of looks.
Wave and Woven is an insta account based here in Boston where I am. I know she does consults for a fee. A lot of her content that shows up daily is very trendy but when she posts about client consults and pictures, it’s nearly all women around my age (40) and her updating their closets with a range of price points particularly for work. I’v inquired with her to do a styling session as I’m in a new job, executive-level role and just lost almost 100 lbs … I will admit I can’t determine why I haven’t pulled the trigger yet. I think I’m a little (unfairly) nervous she’s going to want me to spend like $25k on new clothes because she does feature some really high-end stuff, which is not what I want to do, or how I want to prioritize my spending…
But that’s all to say, I find her content helpful and I very well may just do the free consult call this spring to see what she’s all about. I know she does virtual should you not be based in Boston.
Middle/high school moms, I need some advice. I am also going to be reaching out to my in-town friends but want to make sure I don’t sound like a crazy tiger mom. Please enjoy my novel.
My daughter is a rising 7th grader. 7th grade is where our district starts tracking/ leveling for math (and only math at this point). Our daughter has always been good at math, done top-of-the-district well on all math standardized tests, and has a 99 average in 6th grade math this year. She’s a strong student generally, has straight A+s (which…tend to be a function of just doing what you are asked in school, not advanced intelligence). She’s a social kid and highly interested in being successful in school because her 3 besties are also good students and find school important.
Math placement choices are: 7th grade math (~70-75% of the grade), combined 7/8th grade math (~25% of the kids), and there is an option to test out of 7th grade math and do 8th grade math in 7th grade, take number theory in 8th grade (~1-3% of the grade). Both the combined 7/8th math kids and the number theory kids can take honors geometry in high school.
All 4 of the girls got recommended for combined 7/8th. The “skip 7th grade” option is by parent request only, so I emailed her teacher just to see if this was something she should consider having no idea how her grades/skills compare to other kids. Her teacher said “She’s a wonderful math student and you were right to reach out. She will be very comfortable in the 7/8th math. If she is interested I think she’s a strong candidate to try to test out of 7th grade math and if anything I think it would be a good experience for her. Only 1-3% of students end up going that route but there is no reason to think she couldn’t do it.”
She’s athletic, social, into the sephora/tiktok stuff as much as the next 12 year old…and just happens to be really strong at math. When we talked about the test before recommendations came out, she balked and basically said nicely that it sounded like too much work and she wanted to be in class with her friends.
Part of me wants to encourage/force her to at least try to test out. She can always decide once she knows it’s an option. The other part of me realizes that she is doing so well at school because she’s got a group of friends that cares about doing well at school and if she is pushed up into 8th grade math in 7th grade, she may not have that crew of girls to study/complain with. She does have some 8th grade friends but it’s no guarantee she’d be in class with them.
Thoughts?? My husband was always in the hardest of math classes but never had to skip a level to do so since he went to a math focused private school. I was not a strong enough student when this came up in my middle school. At the end of the day, she would be in the same geometry class in HS.
Ugh. I went to a bad public school with a terrific middle school math teacher (a woman) and a pack of strong girls that I am still friends with (I’m 55). I feel that there is value being in a strong pack. I also feel that this is where girls get pushed into everything but math, so if you can keep her engaged with the good friends, while not being at the tippy top, that is a sort of win. And yet, going to the tippy top may be a different sort of win, one that maybe opens doors that she doesn’t realize exist.
I didn’t get to accelerate other than in high school, where I got to double up in math as as sophomore so I could do All The Calculus by the time I graduated. Today, I have a math-heavy BigLaw job that would never had happened if I hadn’t had tremendously strong math fundamentals (because, in college, I placed out of math and didn’t touch it for years before making an easy dive back in to math finance).
So . . . if you don’t have to decide today, maybe spend some time watching anything Danica McKellar and see what your daughter thinks? A strong foundation is never wasted even if you opt out of the most advanced class.
Testing out sounds like a bad idea. That’s the age where you need to learn the fundamentals.
This. Building a strong foundation in mathematical thinking will get her far if she is interested in STEM. That requires a strong foundation and understanding of the fundamentals.
Maybe I didn’t read carefully enough: What’s the benefit of doing this? From what I read, it seems like there are down sides (loss of friends, being a major one, also more work for her to do), but I wasn’t seeing a clear explanation of the upside.
How does this impact her high school track? If the combined class just means she’ll take Calc AB instead of Calc BC then let her stay with her friends. I was one of the only younger kids in some high school classes and hated it. It was intimidating and I didn’t have friends to study with, so it was a big disadvantage.
That’s my question. It’s important for selective college admissions that kids take calculus in high school. Your kid may or may not choose that path but keep the option open if at all possible. I don’t mean to scare you, but math progression* is pretty much the only thing in middle school that “matters” for college.
Even for non-STEM students, selective colleges look at whether or not kids take Calculus in high school. It’s one of the ways to show rigor, even if a kid wants to major in the humanities. My kid just finished the college admissions process, and Taking Calculus was a big deal for a lot of schools.
FWIW, the math progression at my kids’ school isn’t the same as it was 30-odd years ago when I was in school. PreCalc is taught instead of trigonometry as a full-year class, and you can take either AP Calc AB or AP Calc BC.
*While well-meaning administrators in our school pushed the “regular” math hard and claimed kids could just “accelerate in high school with a summer class,” the high school had very few (or no) spots for summer school if you were there for acceleration. It’s also a scheduling nightmare sometimes if you go outside the district and/or your kid doesn’t want an online class.
I agree with this, even for humanities kids. My older daughter took AP pre-calc this year, but was so miserable in it (teacher was the golf coach and was gone A LOT and AWOL a lot), that we are OK now that we know her profile and goals a little better. She’s aiming at good, not top colleges, where her SAT makes her a good candidate already. She will pivot to AP stats and not continue to AB calculus next year because her college major will require stats (not calculus) and she wanted earlier exposure to that. She was formerly in top math but stumbled in middle school when math went virtual over COVID.
My dad went to a rural high school and his college acceptance for engineering was conditional until he passed a calculus class, so they try to catch up kids who are underprepared by circumstances but I think they take a harder stance when kids choose to avoid calculus and want a math or business field. It’s an easy way to weed out when the demand is high.
I’m struggling to understand (from a higher ed math nerd POV) how she can reasonably do stats without calculus. IME at the college level stats requires probability which requires calculus. I understand that AP stats does not require calculus per se and if she is taking it because she is interested that is of course great…but I would caution you/her that if stats is a requirement for her major, she may well have to take calculus at some point anyway. And if she does have to take calculus she may wish that she had done it sooner rather than later.
I think AP stats is a wonderful idea. I am a doctor/scientist now and in retrospect would have loved to take AP stats in high school and find all of the advanced math I took essentially useless. Stats is just so useful in everyday life, as well is in many professions (like mine).
Yes, it will be hard if she changes her mind in the future and decides she wants to be in a hard science, but sometimes college is the time for making these decisions and taking hard classes.
She can take calc AB or BC via the 7/8 path, she would not need to skip a grade of math to do this.
Kids that would not take calc would be in 7th grade math, 8th grade math, then do algebra intensive 9th.
OP here. It does not impact high school. She can take 7/8 math this year, an algebra intensive in 8th, and high honors (or whatever) geometry intensive 9th which is the path to both calc AB and BC. DH, our Math Person, is thinking as long as she’s positioned to be able to take calc bc she should stay with her friends.
I agree with your DH. Stay with friends as long as she still gets to Calc BC in 12th grade. Math prerequisites are important for chem and physics, and she’ll still be on track for those. You don’t gain much for skipping a year other than parental bragging points.
I’m so confused why you think it’s relevant that she likes tiktok and sephora but could place into 8th grade math. Does she like to be challenged and will this set her up best for high school? Then do it. If you’re concerned that it’s too much of a challenge given her other activities and classes, 7th/8th is still getting her ahead.
I will say, that one of my kids was a total sleeper for being academically successful. I saw the kid I have at home: sugary snacks and a focus on make up and RushTok (kid just started driver’s ed). I did not see her school self, which is very different. She is still a teen girl, but I just saw a kid who was competent and not also that she had turned into a very high flyer.
Given the teacher’s response, I think it makes sense to encourage your daughter to try the test and gather more information, including by talking with her teacher directly. I think it’s important that she make the choice, but only once she has all the relevant information.
I think testing out is only a good idea for neurodivergent kids who don’t have a social group. I think for your average NT girl having a friend group is more valuable than achievement.
OP here. I’ve read all the responses and I think you are 100% spot on.
I’ve chatted with a few parents of current 7th and 8th graders who are also strong students. None have taken the acceleration and all are on track to take the highest the highest level geometry in 9th which is a party to calc AB or BC depending on performance over high school.
FWIW my middle child is neurodivergent (2E with adhd and giftedness) and she would 100% want to at least try and accelerate if given the option. She DNGAF what her friends do. Meanwhile my oldest is like, scheduling study dates with her besties for various classes. She may be gifted too, we never had reason to test (we only tested middle for adhd and other things, giftedness came out then).
What is the content of 7th and 8th grade math? In our school system, pre-algebra is spread out across 7th and 8th grade math with a ton of repetition, and a kid who skipped math 7 would not really be missing any fundamentals. A combined math 7/8 course is usually taken in sixth or seventh grade by college-bound kids, who need should be taking algebra 1 in seventh or eighth grade.
What is the content of the “number theory” class? Is it geared towards math competitions? I would worry that it is the type of class that only appeals to and clicks with a certain type of kid, and it’s hard to know whether you have that type of kid until she actually tries it.
What is the impact on future course placement? Is number theory just an extra class? Do kids on the 7/8 and the “skip 7” track end up in the same place in ninth grade?
This, OP. I have a math degree. I skipped 6th & 7th grade math, but they were just pre-algebra spread over two years. There were enough strong math students in my school that we had an entire 6th grade class that went straight from elementary school math into algebra 1 in 6th grade. Same content and teacher as the standard 8th graders. We took geometry in 7th grade, algebra 2 in 8th grade, and were in stats, trig, pre-calc, etc, by freshman year of high school.
No way would I suggest skipping algebra 1 itself even if she were to test out of it. There is too much that is foundational to higher math that she really needs to know well. Don’t let your ego about having a smart kid become a hinderance to her.
Yes, this. The most important thing is to figure out how this affects high school math placement and whether the number theory class is just a more theoretical class, which is great for kids who are really into math for math’s sake (which might be your daughter, though it doesn’t sound like it from anything you wrote), but not for the average kid who’s very good at math. I say that as someone who was very good at math but definitely would not have enjoyed a class like that.
Getting ahead in math is useful if it gets you ahead in high school and college math, so you can then focus on what you really care about (in my case, a double science major, which was easier having taken BC Calculus in high school which I could do because I took geometry in 8th grade). If she doesn’t care about math theory, it doesn’t get her a year ahead in math, and she does care about being in math with her friends, then it would make no sense to skip.
I’m not sure what she will gain by testing out of 7th grade math. The combined 7th/8th sounds like the best of both worlds. Also, if she is strongly objecting to testing out, I’m not sure I would push it, TBH. IME, it will take a lot of self-motivation to be in the highest-level math class and away from her peer group. If she’s not into the idea, it could very well end up hindering her rather than helping her.
What is number theory? Isn’t algebra I the typical prerequisite for geometry? Have schools changed the name of this course or the course itself? IME number theory is a college/graduate level subject.
My 2 cents–you guys should strongly encourage her to study to try to test out. She can test out and then stay with her friends but she should pursue the option until and unless it’s obviously a mistake. How well do you know the friends’ parents? Would/could all the kids study and place out together?
My parents strongly encouraged me to study and test so I could take algebra I in 7th grade (in a class that was otherwise mostly 8th graders) and it was absolutely the right call and one of the many great things they did for me. (They also had to organize me through it because although I was a bright 12 year old I was only par on the organization front. Thank you Mom and Dad.) I made friends among the 8th graders. There are very few things that can set a person up for professional success in 7th grade but it was a clear gain of a year of math–I doubt I would have made it into my math-heavy profession without it. Being ahead in math opens all sorts of doors in college, which opens doors down the line.
Keeping with the math theme, there may be a Prisoner’s Dilemma playing out right now where her friends may privately be deciding to take the test and she won’t actually have a group of friends in the 7/8 combined class. I agree with the recommendations to take the test, get as much information as possible before making the decision. (And my personal parenting style would be to encourage the most advanced course I thought my kid was capable of).
Number theory is just extra. The compressed 7/8 means she’d do algebra 1 in 8th and geometry in 9th.
Kids that skip ahead do algebra in 7th, number theory in 8th and geometry in 9th.
What does number theory even mean here? Number theory is a real thing that professional mathematicians work on. On a practical level, it has applications to codes, etc. To be honest, I’d be extremely surprised if a high school math teacher, whose principal focus is pedagogy, knows any number theory. Is it maybe linear algebra (matrix math, sort of)?
Given the same opportunity as a middle schooler – I was invited to skip but didn’t want to. I wanted a “normal” school year. I went on to get 4 and 5s on my AP math exams and get into an Ivy engineering program and graduate magna cum laude. It’s ok.
Only you and her teacher know the answer to this, but how are her fundamentals?
Put her on whatever track will ensure rock solid fundamentals. I come from a higher ed background, and people frequently crash and burn in higher level math courses due to a lack of fundamentals. Even in lower level stuff, people don’t fail calculus because of the calculus. It’s not much more than a sort of eclectic grab bag of rules. They fail because they can’t do algebra. That stuff needs to be locked down tighter than tight, even if it means not being on the fastest track in earlier grades.
They are very solid. She got a perfect score on state testing two years in a row, has a 99% average in math for the year, I think she didn’t do like the back half of a homework sheet or something.
She has gotten full points on every test all year long.
I’d encourage as far ahead as she can go but think hard about scenarios where she is in high school classes in middle school. Perspective based on my and my sister’s experience the students in this scenario (albeit over 20 years ago). We were both tested when we came to the US. I skipped a grade in math but did not quite test well enough to skip two years. Because of the somewhat unique area (engineer expat central), there were enough kids skipped ahead that you just stayed with your grade level peers in a different math class. I was however bored and therefore delighted in being disruptive. On balance, this ended up being a better option socially for me than my sister who ended up in a math class with an older grade which became a huge issue when she had to go to the high school (while in middle school). That was the tough part.
Very surprised by the responses saying to stay in grade level math or combined 7th/8th math.
I think you are right to push for her to take 8th grade math. If she is friendly and social now, she will easily make friends with the girls a grade level above.
Source: I was in your daughter’s shoes twenty years ago. Some of my closest high school friends to this day are older girls from my math classes. Being challenged in math increased my confidence enormously. Hard to know the counterfactual, but I also think it stood out in my college applications… (I do not have kids.)
Also, not sure if you’re still checking this thread, but I should have added that it sounds like you’re a great mom and whatever you and your family decide will work out!
I would definitely not force it. I spent a lot of time as the youngest in advanced math classes, and being a younger girl stands out so much and if you struggle at all it feels so much harder to admit it and get help. Being able to study with your peers is impossible, so you have to figure out how to do it on your own or become comfortable integrating into a group of older kids, quite often older boys. Or I guess you as the parent could hire a tutor, but that’s its own beast if she wasn’t really interested in jumping ahead in math anyway. And especially if the end result is the same geometry class in high school, there is no benefit at all that I can see in pushing her to test out.
I was the youngest kid in the advanced class and I LOVED it. I was finally mostly not bored in class. However I didn’t have friends in my own grade so I wasn’t losing anything.
In a similar situation, we kept my daughters with their peers to make sure they weren’t moving too fast through fundamentals that they would need later, but supplemented with what they saw as “fun” math to deepen engagement – Beast Academy, then Art of Problem Solving and Math Circles.
Because their school classes are not SO difficult (and did not pile on the homework), they have time/energy for “fun” math and both would say they are “a math person”. One daughter is gifted and one is bright (not gifted), and I’m happy with this approach so far for both of them, even though the gifted daughter could have handled the more accelerated route, academically. They’ll take AP Calc AB (not BC) and I am fine with this.
Accelerate her. Her grades and her teacher agree that she’ll be fine in the more advanced classes. And being advanced in math makes physics & chem easier.
PS: WTF is number theory for 8th graders? Is this rebranded algebra? I had classes in number theory as an upper div math major…
I was guessing that it’s not actually number theory but is some sort of competition math.
It’s not algebra, that is taught in 8th grade for kids that do compressed math in 7th. Kids that skip 7th grade math altogether do 8th grade algebra in 7th. Number theory is something else, like a challenge level math class. It’s not high school geometry.
Some education systems start with number theory. I’m not sure it matters when it’s taught.
FWIW, my daughter tested out of a year of Spanish but when she got to the next level it was too hard for her and she kind of gave up. So if she BARELY tests out, I’d think long and hard about skipping a level.
My son is in 8th grade, and we’ve had similar options in recent years and as he’s preparing to go to high school.
I recommend having her take the test to see if she qualifies to test out. Then revisit the discussion. If she qualifies, review her results with the teacher – did she get in by 1 point, or did she ace the test? Even if she aced the test, I’m sure the district would still allow you to choose the combined 7th/8th option if she really doesn’t want to do it. If she takes the test and doesn’t qualify, then the decision is made.
I’m a millenial but sound very similar to how your daughter is when I was her age. Did well in school, but a lot of it was because my a lot of my friend circle valued doing well at school, having friends on the honors/AP tracks, etc. It doesn’t sound like there’s a real benefit to skipping 7th if she’ll be taking the same class the following year either way, and I’d save the ‘you need to do this’ for something that’s going to have more of an impact. Worth asking her – “if your friends all test in to it, will you be sad you didn’t?”
I also ended up finishing the available ap math classes at my school halfway through senior year, so by the time I had to take it in college, it was way harder having that long of a break.
I asked that. I’m going to be with her bestie’s mom on the sidelines this weekend and will chat. Her oldest is a senior stem kid heading to a very competitive college next year so she will be another great data point. If he got there without skipping, I think skipping is for the parental bragging at this point. Another data point is that the only person my kid knows of that plans to test is the child of a Very Serious and Stereotypical Tiger Dad. She said she only know one person, and I guessed immediately. Fwiw, they are in the same class with the same grades.
Super late to reply but I was very accelerated in math (algebra in 7th, geometry in 8th, pre-calc in 9th and Calc BC in 10th) and my husband is a college math professor.
The most important thing as far as middle school math placement goes is not to foreclose the option to take calculus, ideally Calc BC, by senior year of high school. A lot of people here will tell you that you need calculus earlier, but I’m not so sure. My husband took calculus in 12th grade, and still ended up majoring in math at an Ivy, graduating with highest honors, getting a PhD in math at another Ivy and becoming a full professor at a top 20 math department. Extreme acceleration isn’t that great a predictor of longterm success.
Beyond ensuring she can take calculus by 12th grade, I think there’s value in sticking with friends and also in making sure she goes slow enough that she can really master material on a deep level.
Like others, I don’t really understand this ‘number theory’ class. As others said it’s an advanced field of math research and I’ve never heard of a middle or high school class called that. But I see even less value to skipping ahead if it doesn’t bring calculus a grade earlier.
My son was placed in 8th grade “honors” algebra when he was in 7th and it was double the work of a normal class. We pulled him because he was still a kid who wanted to play after school. He later caught up by taking geometry with another math class. He graduating and obtained his degrees in the Stem field. There is no reason to push her to miss her childhood.
Help finding a gift?
I’m working with an amazing veterinarian who is going above and beyond to set up personalized plans for my dog who has both medical and behavioral needs. She’s about to go on maternity leave with her first baby but I’ll see her one more time before she’s out. Can you suggest an appropriate gift to thank her and/or celebrate the new baby? I don’t know her beyond the animal hospital, and don’t know anything about the baby’s sex or other details. I don’t want give cash or a gift card. Maybe something in the $50-$75 range? Bay Area, if it matters.
I’ve been racking my brain, but I’m also busy preparing for my dogs’s procedure and would love some help. Thank you!
You don’t know much, so IMO this is when a gift card (maybe to something generic like Door Dash or Target (there will always be a need for more diapers, wipes, detergent)) is perfect.
Gift card + a cute (maybe animal-themed?) set of baby pajamas. Heartfelt note.
Cuddle + Kind elephant (or really any of the baby animals, I mean look at how cute the fawn is). They are really well made, slightly unique and good for gifts that are not overly ostentatious or personal but still comes off as thoughtful. It’s my go to for client gifts.
My go-to baby present is a really nice illustrated book of traditional stories (nursery rhymes/fairy tales/myths kind of material). Maybe with a cute stuffed toy or baby clothes with a dog that looks a bit like yours on it, if that’s not too twee.
There are a couple of toddler or board books about vets (Biscuit Goes to the Vet; Bizzy Bear the Pet Vet) – I would get a couple of them, and a board book about animals in general, and a stuffed animal or onesie. And a note of appreciation for the vet – she sounds fantastic!
And good luck to you and your dog.
Organic cotton muslins with a cute animal or nature print, organic cotton bibs, cute towel with animal head hood? Something to use up, that isn’t restricted to a specific size.
Photo card with picture of your dog printed on it with handwritten heartfelt message.
OP here. Thank you for some terrific gift ideas and the kind wishes for my pup! I love the idea of something animal or vet related for the baby, and I will absolutely include a heartfelt note.
I have been looking at cute day dresses for late spring/summer and everything I like costs over $200. Is this just what things cost now? I have no dependents, HHI in the $230s, MCOL city, but I feel like I can’t justify spending that much on a dress. What do you all think?
Where are you looking? There are tons of dresses below that pricepoint. Off the top of my head I can think of Quince, Old Navy, even Boden.
I was perusing Nordstrom recently and they have tons of dresses under $200. What brands are you looking at? But a lot of average quality sun dresses are over $100 these days.
Better to spend $200+ on a dress you like than end up with three $60 dresses, none of which is quite right (assuming you don’t have debt, of course).
Agree 100%
I would not spend that.
yeah I remember buying a Hill House Nap Dress 5 years ago and it was $125. The same pattern is now almost 50% more expensive, listed at $178. Same thing has happened with other brands. I’m unwilling to pay that much and so wait out the sale cycle, at a minimum for a Friends & Family or Shopbop “spend x get 20+% off” type of sale.
If it’s Hobbs, Toast, ME+Em or similar, and material is silk or high quality cotton, then yes.
If it’s a poly blend Zara, Anthro, etc, then no.
Atlanta readers, can anyone recommend a local florist?
I want to send a Mother’s Day bouquet to a friend who just went through a painful divorce and didn’t get the custody arrangement she was hoping for. Looks like she lives near Morningside-Lenox Park neighborhood.
Le Jardin Francais
Lawyers! What’s my best course of action here? (Don’t worry, I’m not asking for legal advice)
I’m a trad-published author and my agent is about to send out my first nonfiction book proposal. The main concept of the book involves 10 specific issues of four now-defunct magazines from the last century. Ideally the book would feature the 10 specific covers of these magazines, reprinted in full color, paired with narrative writing. (Just the covers!) Three of the magazines in question are now owned by Hearst, one by People Inc.
My agent wants me to put together some details on the status of permissions needed to reprint the covers in the book, should the book sell, and I’ve contacted the permissions owners via their website forms. That said, I think my use of the covers would fall under the concept of fair use and therefore wouldn’t require permissions at all!
I’m not quite sure what I’m asking here other than…how do I find out if something is fair use? I actually think the publisher should be doing all this legwork but that’s a different story :) But my agent wants to clarify any questions about permissions/rights that editors might have upfront to give this book the best shot at an easy sell.
I did post to Reddit and the one response so far has been “this is fair use, get a lawyer” which feels premature…
Contact Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts.
Beyond that, don’t do this legal work. The publisher will do it. What you should do instead is to pitch an alternative to using these covers if you cannot get permission or a fair use exception for them. Is it a derivative work or fair use if an artist does a rendition of the cover?
Not a lawyer, but how would this be fair use? You’re not using these for parody, or for education, etc – it sounds like you’re using these covers to illustrate your book, which you hope to sell.
It sounds like you’d need permission for reprinting.
Just to be clear, you absolutely are asking for legal advice.
This is not fair use. You are using potentially copyrighted materials for commercial purposes and potentially profiting off of it. As for how you get permissions from the rights holders, if you’ve already tried an online form, then you just have to keep pursuing this until you get permission and can show proof. Signed, an archivist who deals extensively with permissions and fair use scenarios.
I agree that you are asking for legal advice, and also my agent is inappropriately asking you for legal advice. I think this should be on the publisher.
heh YOUR agent.
It *should* be on the publisher, and it often used to be. But staffing cuts have meant that this task is now offloaded to authors (as is indexing of academic books, sadly — I’ve had to use my own $ to hire professional indexers).
You really are asking for legal advice, even if you don’t think that’s the case.
Not a lawyer but an author. This isn’t fair use. It also isn’t your issue to deal with — it’s the publisher’s. Alternatively, if your agent is trying to figure out how much money it would take to reprint the covers, then your agent can get on the case.
This shouldn’t be left up to folks who don’t know the landscape.
This is 100% asking for legal advice – “is this fair use?” is a legal interpretation question. Whether or not you the author should be responsible for the answer is a different story.