ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Endless Pant

A woman wearing a white top, black jacket, navy pants, and white sneakers

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I’m seeing a lot of athleisure/workwear crossover these days, and I’m all for it. The Endless Pant from Athleta is a bestseller for a number of reasons: a stretchy fabric that doesn’t get baggy halfway through the day, a comfy waistband, and a wide range of colors and sizes.

These would be perfect for someone working a hybrid schedule. Pair with a cozy sweatshirt for a WFH day or add a blouse and blazer for the office.

The pants are $109 at Athleta and come in regular sizes 0-26, tall sizes 0-16, and petite sizes 0-14.

Sales of note for 12.5

203 Comments

  1. Has anyone here written a book? Attended a writers retreat? It’s a goal of mine, and I was recently accepted into a writers retreat. I’m debating whether it’s worth the time and expense to attend. I would love to hear from others’ experiences!

    1. Yes.
      If you want to write a book, and you’ve applied for a writer’s retreat and been accepted into it, do you have a good sense of what is stopping you at this point? Is it only the time and money, or are you battling more?
      If it’s merely time and money, go.
      If it’s time and money plus more, go.
      You’ll learn a lot about yourself as a writer by going that you won’t learn by staying home.
      Or, if you stay home, commit to spending that entire space of time when you would have been gone, to writing. Clear your schedule, plan meals ahead, make arrangements with your family, if you live with one. Do whatever you need to in order to spend that time writing.

      1. I totally agree!! I’ve written one book (not published yet!) and would cherish the ability to do something like this. Go for sure.

    2. I’m a writer in an MFA program! What retreat is it? Many of them are really competitive and it’s a big deal to even get in. If you can afford it, definitely go. Attending grad school had made me feel so much more like a “real” writer and has gotten me way more involved in the literary community at large.

      1. Storia Summit…I welcome any feedback, and that’s awesome you’re pursing your MFA! A work acquaintance did this writers retreat, published his book, and highly recommends it.

        1. Thanks! It’s been a long road to get here.

          Since you said you welcome feedback…with the very large caveat that this is just my personal opinion –I wouldn’t do this one. It looks like a money maker for this coach and not a rigorous writing retreat. Not that prestigious literary retreats/workshops are the only ones worth attending, but I’d be concerned that this is a marketing person and not a writer, and that their intention is for you to have a good time in Portugal, not make meaningful progress on your book. If a marketing bent is what you’re looking for, then great, definitely ignore me. But when I’m looking at writing retreats/workshops I’m looking at faculty (of which there’s only one here!) and competitiveness to get in. The application for this one looks to be just a contact form, and for any competitive writing program you will have to submit a writing sample (and usually a personal statement and other stuff). Again, with all that said, the friend you know who actually attended may be a better gauge of the quality than a rando on the internet.

          This is where I start when looking at short-term writing programs:
          https://www.pw.org/conferences_and_residencies

          2. Thanks for your candid feedback! I also shared your concern about how easy it was to apply, especially given the price tag.-OP

    3. Oh goodness, do it! That’s how to live your life. You never know how life changing something like that can be.

    4. Yes. I’m announcing (another) two-book deal tomorrow, actually. Go. Writing retreats — the ones you apply for, not the ones you pay for — have changed the trajectory of my creative and publishing life. Go!

        1. I echo Anon88’s remarks: my residency experiences have been selective, rigorous, and fully-funded (key!). I lot of “retreats” are money-making scams and don’t give you the sort of high-worth (meaning culture capital) network. That’s why you go. If you just need space to write, rent out a hotel room for a week.

    5. Writing is a profession to whom many are called and few are chosen. I’ve had friends and family try very hard to get published and their novels were not bad, but it’s nearly impossible. Most of them spent money to self publish on Amazon.If you enjoy it, go for it. Just don’t count on it making you any money

    1. I love brown. I think it works better with navy and black clothes than navy and black coats (they run the risk of being too close shades/looking like you tried to match but didn’t). It’s a softer neutral and definitely better for my coloring, but I think it works great on most people.

      2. I look great in brown. I wore a brown dress to a wedding last weekend and the bride came up to me and told me I really know how to dress for my skin tone.

      3. There are also a lot of shades of brown with different undertones that would suit different people.

        1. This. I think people often get the idea that brown doesn’t flatter them when it was the wrong brown for their complexion!

    3. I would maybe do the dark taupe. I have a light gray one that’s extremely versatile and it is nice to have something not-black in the winter (even though 80% of my wardrobe is black). I just don’t love that brown.

    4. I have a coat that’s close to the “cigar” color, and I get lots of compliments on it. Not a fan of that darker brown.

        1. The cigar color is another option! I tend to look washed out in camel but something between camel and dark brown might work.

      2. I likewise have coat in the colour they are calling cigar and it’s a real workhorse for me. It’s neutral enough to go with almost anything but adds a bit of a pop to otherwise slightly dull work outfits.

      1. +1. I like the classic camel or the camel colors much more than the brown. I have a different camel colored wool coat, and I get a lot of use out of it in the fall and spring. I would personally not buy the brown.

    7. I really like dark brown with black, and the coat you linked to looks great in that dark chocolate/espresso color.

    8. Another vote for the cigar or dark taupe options. I like a really rich, deep brown, but the burnt cedar looks kind of dull. At least on my screen, it might be different IRL.

    9. That is a great coat, and if brown looks good on you, the coat will get lots of use. The color will look good with navy and with black, in addition to many other colors.

    10. I like it! I had for many years a chocolate brown coat with a black velvet collar. I felt so glamorous and dressed up in that coat, and it worked for all sorts of situations, work, parties, etc. It was very versatile and usable, and I could find it quickly among a pile of coats at the end of a party!

    11. It’s pretty. If you’d wear it, go for it. I have a brown coat I don’t wear but it’s the shade of brown that doesn’t work for me and I don’t feel good in. Your link is prettier.

  3. I really like the dress Neneki Lee wore for Laphonza Butler’s swearing in yesterday (garnet, pleated neck — there are images online). Any idea where it comes from?

  4. So my in-laws arrive tomorrow for (Canadian) Thanksgiving – and we found out today that we are pregnant! We had a loss earlier this year and my MIL has been really pressuring us for several years to have kids. It’s been better in recent years after my husband told her to stop. In short, we are not ready to share this news with them.

    I’m not a big drinker, but I certainly usually enjoy a glass of wine or two (especially when they are visiting!). I’m worried she will notice that I’m not drinking… Do you say nothing and just ignore the issue? Do you pretend to drink? Or make up a story that I’m on a new medication and can’t drink temporarily? Any advice appreciated!

    1. I wouldn’t bring it up. If they do bring it up, and they know you are trying, I’d say that I’m abstaining to see if it makes a difference in TTC. It’s a reasonable excuse, and it appeases a family member who, clearly, is very invested in grandkids.

      1. This! It’s friendly, non confrontational and likely to avoid upsetting anyone.

        Congrats! I personally waited till 12 wks with kid 1, and wound up waiting longer with kid 2 because I was waiting to get additional prenatal testing results after a concerning ultrasound. I even got a nasty side eye from a relative at Seder when i drank grape juice instead of wine and she thought I was taking the limited grape juice when her obviously pregnant DIL needed it instead of wine.

          1. You know, honestly, it was kind of funny. And that my aunt was concerned about her DIL getting her grape juice was really sweet, right? It’s great when in-law relationships are so warm.

      3. They *don’t* know that we were trying… We got pretty upset with all the pressure (especially because we weren’t sure if we wanted kids or not) and told them to back-off while we made the decision ourselves.

        Once we made the decision on our own and on our own timeline, if we didn’t/couldn’t become pregnant, we didn’t want to let them know we were trying and the start asking about it all the time. Nor did we tell them about our loss (My MIL would have found a way to make it about her…)

        1. I’d still probably use the health excuse. “I’ve decided to cut out alcohol for overall health reasons.” Or, “I’ve decided to cut out alcohol because it’s been giving me headaches/heartburn/indigestion/etc.” Does your husband drink? Make him adopt the same health reason and then it will really throw them off.

        2. Say “I’ve been having trouble sleeping so I’m trying to see if abstaining from alcohol and caffeine will help with it, on the advice of my doctor. If it doesn’t work, we’re going to test for vitamin D and iron deficiencies.”

    2. Congrats! I’d just make a vague reference to trying to be super healthy and saving the calories for dessert, then change the subject. If she’s all “don’t you have something you want to tell us” just remember that “nothing at the moment but ‘ll be the first to know when we have something to share.” Practice a couple dull standard responses for you both to use so it stays low key.

      I try to avoid lying/misleading to people who are going to be offended if I tell them the truth after. I’d also be inclined to be vague when you found out. Like Wednesday after Thanksgiving vs before.

    3. We didn’t really have the family pressure dynamic, but we told people “we are abstaining from alcohol to try to be healthier before TTC.” Seemed to work. More people now are hearing about cancer risk from alcohol and it doesn’t come out of left field.

    4. Say nothing and ignore. Hold a glass of wine, pretend to take sips, dump surreptitiously. My SIL was the same way with me, policing my every move to try to suss out if I was pregnant or not. Drove me nuts. If she asks directly, I’d personally be kind of aggressive about it. “Why do you ask? That’s a pretty rude question.” Or a more colorful response about why she’s so obsessed about you banging her son.

      1. You must be a real treat. Good grief. There is no need to turn this into an excuse to be aggressive to them.

        1. Yes there is. I had family members do this and it was completely humiliating. It came to a grinding halt when, after someone saw my 6 month postpartum stomach and decided I just be noticeably pregnant again, spread lies around the family that I was visibly pregnant. The combination of body shame, intrusiveness, body shame, and lies set me off and I told this family member that s/he was banned from seeing my child for a year, because I don’t want my child around people who think that’s an acceptable way to treat me. My husband has family members who have never met our kid because they were so cruel to me.

          The message finally got through and it stopped. Thing is, behaving that way towards a woman is voluntary and a choice. They can also choose to do what normal people do: treat a TTC or newlywed woman the exact same way they treated her before the baybeez were on the scene.

          1. You missed the part where OP says MIL is better after her husband told her to stop. Yes, using direct communication rather than high-conflict cattiness can often be effective and is always the best place to start. Good luck to you and your husband navigating this horrible dynamic you have with his sister.

          2. No, the MIL didn’t stop as soon as she was told to. People like that *can* be dormant, not reformed: they aren’t actively on baby watch but one sip of grape juice and it all comes to the surface.

        2. It is though. Questions like “where’s my grand baby” are incredibly invasive and entitled. It’s nobody’s business, and no one is entitled to a grandchild. They’re also really hurtful for people who have suffered losses and/or infertility. MIL has been pressuring them for years, which is just outrageous.

          1. And she stopped as soon as the husband told her to. So going out of your way to be nasty now is unnecessary aggression and just hurts the relationship more with them (and likely your husband over time). Why your giving advice to someone to do that is beyond me.Two wrongs don’t make a right.

          2. Anonymous at 10:54, slow your roll. OP said it’s “gotten better,” not that “she stopped as soon as the husband told her to.” She also said they’re not ready to share. The advice was about “if” MIL brings it up. Obviously if MIL is appropriate and does NOT bring it up, there’s no need to say anything and everyone can just ignore the topic entirely. No one would be going out of their way to be nasty. But if MIL chooses to bring it up, I think a rude question deserves any kind of answer OP wants to give, polite or not.

          3. Thanks! It was really tough at first and took a while before the ‘stop asking about this, if we decide to have kids and also ever get pregnant we will tell you. Until then, stop talking about it.’ Really got through. There’s still the occasional oblique comment, but she only makes it to my husband when I’m not on the call or in the room. (Example: ‘Wouldn’t it be nice for your niece to have cousins?’)

            I should mention that they live pretty far away, so we only see them 1-3x a year and my husband talks to his Mom (without me) once a week.

    5. Pour yourself a glass of wine and take one small noticeable sip in front her. Or get a bottle of something nonalcoholic (cider, etc) and drink that. Im more a fan of faking it rather than making up some big story that draws more attention to the issue and that she likely won’t believe anyway.

      I’m sorry for your loss – best wishes to you now!

    6. Congratulations! I’d “forget” to stop at the wine store or buy some cheap/bad wine and claim that you think it tastes bad. Avoid the excuse about not being able to drink due to medication – you really only hear people pull that one out when they’re pregnant. It’s a dead giveaway.

      1. It is a little funny to me that people think everyone with a medication contraindication is pregnant! So many meds have a contraindication (anything that’s hard on the liver really!).

        1. Yah, but most people (especially healthy women of childbearing age) don’t go on them out of the blue. I understand in a workplace setting not everyone knows your business, but close family generally has some idea of your health status. And even if they don’t…it’s still often the first guess when a person you suspect is wanting to start a family suddenly doesn’t drink.

        2. Part of the problem is lots of people take those medications and drink anyway. so they assume no one else is following the instructions either.

          1. Yeah, and for a lot of meds like antibiotics, nobody actually tells you not to drink while taking them – doctors do not mention it and pharmacies do not put a warning sticker on the bottle. I’m sure if you asked they’d tell you to avoid it but most people aren’t asking.

        3. Yeah, but it’s such a cliche to use this line when pregnant that I think most people’s mind will go there. I posted below, but I accidentally announced I wasn’t drinking at a family gathering and then had to quickly cover for it, so I said I was on medication for which alcohol was contraindicated. Everyone was immediately like “you’re pregnant!?!” It was fine, they were well-intentioned and it wasn’t a big deal to announce a few weeks earlier than planned, but yeah…don’t use this line if you want privacy!

    7. you and your husband should get the exact same drink. toast with the group, have a sip, put your glass immediately next to his. when he is halfway through his drink he should start picking up your glass instead. i did this with my brother at a wedding and it worked so well my cousin was shocked i had been pregnant because she was like, but you drank at the wedding!

      2. My husband and I have fond memories of this stuff. We both got wine, I “sipped” by going through the motion while keeping my lips closed, and then he sneak-drink from my glass while people weren’t looking. I also took my glass with me to the restroom and poured some out.

      3. This can be exhausting for the husband/partner. Before we announced our pregnancy to the family, we tried this, and my husband ended up being served FIVE glasses of wine because of top ups (that would have been likely shared between the both of us). Any other excuse is better, I wouldn’t put my spouse through that again.

        Note, I do understand that because you are served doesn’t mean that you have to drink, but some families really struggle with any such boundaries.

      4. I found out I was pregnant right before traveling to visit with a bunch of family who are regular social drinkers and so are DH and I. We did this technique and it worked well. At one point husband drank a beer and refilled the can with ginger ale for me.granted we were at my uncles house who had a “beer fridge” in the garage that let husband sneak out and refill privately.
        I think something less obvious than wine is an easier path. Aka this sparkling water with a lime is definitely a vodka tonic.

    9. Don’t say you’re on medication unless you want everyone to know. I used that line and everyone immediately guessed. Agree with saying nothing or saying you’re abstaining while TTC if they already know you are.

    10. Anyone who notices-and comments upon-the fact that you are not drinking needs to examine her own relationship with alcohol, as well as take a refresher course in basic manners. Observing and commenting upon how much anyone eats or drinks is so rude.

      1. This is talking about someone who pressures their son/DIL about having kids so the rude line is already crossed.

      2. My mom and sisters barely drink, but they know I like a glass or two of wine or beer when we get together and absolutely notice (probably because they also know we want another kid!)

        For a stranger to remark it is weird, but my immediate family shares everything and it isn’t “offensive” to me to ask questions in a close and loving relationship. (Not saying this applies to OP and her MIL, but refuting your assertion that this is categorically rude)

        1. But it IS categorically rude. There are certainly lines we allow those closest to us to cross on a regular basis, but for anyone else, it is indeed something upon which Miss Manners, Emily Post or your etiquette expert of choice would frown.

        2. I’m curious, how would you phrase the question in a way that is not rude or crass? What information are you trying to elicit that can’t be found out at the beginning of the second trimester?

          The questions are, at their deepest level, “are you two having unprotected s3x?” Or “any super early pregnancy you would like me to drag out of you that you aren’t ready to announce yet?”

          1. I don’t think it’s rude for my sister to ask me if I’m pregnant because we are close and talk about many details of our lives. Context matters. If you wait until the second trimester to tell someone, you aren’t actually *close* to them. So maybe MIL falls into this category.

            Literally had my family ask me many times over the last couple months “are you pregnant?”. Didn’t bother me. (I did get pregnant the second month, and then I miscarried, and it still doesn’t/won’t bother me coming from them.)

            I don’t think that’s their question at the “deepest level”. To me, it’s “I am interested in your life and ready to be so excited for you”

    11. I found out I was pregnant days before a family wedding. I just got drinks from the bar that looked like cocktails and had wine poured for me at dinner, took one sip and then left it alone. The only issue was a (male, obviously) bartender who knew I was trying to be discrete and apparently thought it was fun to try to out me anyway by yelling “Yes a V1RG1N DRINK” every time I asked for mocktail.

    12. First, congratulations!

      Second, the hoops through which people must jump to maintain some level of privacy around rude family members never fails to astound. This sounds exhausting.

    13. I wouldn’t say anything and if she mentions it, just say I’m doing a dry October with some friends

    14. I have eagle-eyed family members who immediately pounce if I don’t join in on a glass of wine at a family gathering. So not their business, but also so not going to stop anytime soon. I just tell them I don’t feel like drinking tonight, or I’m not drinking these days, which has the added benefit of being the truth. That response simply states the obvious facts (you are not drinking alcohol), but doesn’t get into any explanation why. You do not owe anyone an explanation for this behavior. I hope this helps, and congratulations!

    15. Thank you all! Very helpful. We’ll go with the ‘say nothing’ approached, combined with the occasional appearance of drinking. I am typically bartender, so we are thinking I can pour myself a non-alcoholic beer or make a cocktail with no booze and they may not notice.
      And – if they notice – hopefully they are polite enough to not ask or say anything! Appreciate it :)

      1. As someone who had a long TTC/fertility journey, better part of a decade, with extremely pushy southern in-laws (I happened to marry the oldest grandchild and there’s a sizeable gap in age between DH and the rest of the fam, so we were THE sole focus) plus a very social-heavy profession where women are a huge minority and pregnancy is an inconvenience to the rest of the team. Here are my strategies:

        – antibiotics angle – only calls attention to the fact you’re not drinking. Don’t go this route.
        – canned beers/hard seltzers – they can’t see how much you’re (not) drinking with each sip vs a glass. Open 2-3 over the course of the evening in front of your MIL and then take the can to the bathroom and dump it so it has the appearance of being emptied. Extra layer of insurance: throw it out in front of MIL and open a new one under her nose. This was my favorite move. Eventually, there’s enough drinking going on that no one fully notices.
        – I used to schedule 8am gym appointments the night after a family event so there was a reason I wanted to “cut it off early and switch to water”… very situation/location dependent, if you’re seeing her on your home turf it’s easier. I conveniently trained for a half marathon for like 1.5 years (there was no actual race lol) and my long runs were Saturday or Sunday AMs. No one challenged me on wanting to stop drinking early / switch to water after one, it and I got to get out of the house alone when in laws were visiting.
        – Favorite bar order: low ball glass, tonic water, lime. Tonic can have a slight smell and it’s bitter so it makes me not guzzle like water. I tell people it’s tequila and lime and simple as that! If you order water and a lime you almost certainly get a pint glass or obviously non-cocktail glass which is a dead giveaway. A good bartender will catch your drift immediately and keep ’em coming.

        You got this.

  5. Californians and others in earthquake zones, do you have thoughts on whether it makes sense to maintain earthquake insurance? Any thoughts on the ability of the California Earthquake Authority’s ability to pay claims if there were a major earthquake in the Bay Area?

    My premium is getting more expensive and my deductible is such that the insurance would basically only cover a phenomenally large loss. My house made it through Loma Prieta and the previous owners upgraded the foundation post-Loma Prieta. An independent civil engineer evaluated my house and confirmed that it is as earthquake safe as an old, one-story house can be. But, we’re just barely in a liquefaction zone due to proximity to a creek. I’m tempted to drop earthquake insurance.

    1. We don’t carry it, spent the money instead upgrading the foundation, adding sheerwalling and otherwise not making the first story a soft story. I live in SF in an area that made it just fine through the 89 quake. I’d spend more on your personal infrastructure. If the whole place collapses, which is unlikely, I’d just sell for the land value.

      1. PS, every time I looked at coverage, the actual coverage was pretty crummy too and didn’t seem worth it, not sure if that changed.

    2. CEA has a page on this; they have a 19 B pool, and a B rating from one of the insurance rating organizations.

    3. Yes, we carry CEA coverage for our condo. The bigger issue for me has been trying to persuade the COA to purchase sufficient coverage for the parts of the building that the association owns and we do not. If they don’t have enough money to rebuild the general structure, it doesn’t matter how much money we have, we won’t be able to build out our unit.

    4. I do carry it. My house is my largest asset and I don’t want to have to raid my retirement funds if it gets totaled. Your calculus may be different but I decided a long time ago it was worth it for our family.

    5. I own a home in Los Angeles and do not have earthquake insurance for the reasons you listed.

    6. In SF and I don’t have it. I think it’s at least $10k per year here, probably more at this point. (I have a 3BR SFH.) Like the poster above, I spent the $ on retrofitting instead. Bolted the house to the foundation, and added shear wall in the garage. We’re on bedrock up in the hills in a 1907 house (so it wasn’t here for the 1906 quake) and I feel pretty good about our area. But, no guarantees of course. If the house is not salvageable the lot would still be quite valuable due to its location.

      1. Poster above and you just made me feel much better! Thanks! We also boasted to the foundation, added rebar and more foundation, sheerwalling, etc. – basically did a very expensive retrofit.

    7. We carry it exactly so we will have a phenomenally large loss covered. If the house is a total loss we’re gonna need all the help we can get.

    8. Thank you, everyone! All your perspectives are really helpful to me as I mull over what to do.

  6. What do you use to fix your makeup to your face: finishing powder or setting spray?

    I’m mid/late 30s with normal go drier skin that I moisturize. My pre-pandemic setting powder is empty, but I’m not sure what to replace it with. I primarily want it to hold foundation, concealer, and blush in place for the workday.

      1. OK, I have a follow up. I use both but my makeup does not stay on all day. By the time I get home from work after a regular work day my eye makeup is on but my face makeup is not. I do sunscreen, then primer, then concealer, then a light foundation (Charlotte Tilbury flawless filter used as foundation), then setting powder then setting spray. What am I missing??

    2. I use setting spray. My concealer and blush are still on my face at the end of the day.

    3. I use e.l.f. Suntouchables SPF + primer (it’s a close copy of that one from Goop). That’s plenty for me for a normal day, but if I’m going to be outside and sweaty, I add one of Wet n Wild’s setting sprays (I like Fight Dirty because it’s specifically designed not to clog pores – my skin doesn’t love other setting sprays). Anyways, with the two of these, my makeup will be in place for 12+ hours easily.

    4. Setting spray, but I only bother with it (plus a primer) on days where my makeup really needs to last – like going to an event straight from work.

    5. I set my foundation with powder. I like a glowy look, so it’s a shimmeribg one.

    6. TikTok makeup artists have taught me that you should use setting spray on each “layer” of makeup. Meaning, after you put foundation/concealer/”wet” face makeup – *Spray* After you put on your bronzer/blush/etc. – *Spray* Eye make up EXCEPT mascara *Spray*

      Do not spray after mascara. Try to put that on last.

    7. There are different kinds of setting spray. If you do go that route, make sure you know which you’re getting.

      I personally use a little powder, but only in certain areas. My products (many layers of skincare, SPF, then a BB cream) leave me a bit dewier than I like, so powder is the answer for that. I use a very wispy brush (not a dense brush) and pick up some translucent powder and apply it down the center of my face, and to my lower face under my cheekbones. I’m fine with having some glow on my cheeks but I don’t want it everywhere. I cannot emphasize how important it is to use a tiny bit of powder – too much will start to look clumpy or pilly as the day goes on.

    8. MAC setting spray works great for my combo skin that gets oily throughout the T zone. MAC isn’t cruelty free, which is important to me. This is the only MAC product I use because I haven’t found a replacement. I tried Milani and ELF, which didn’t last. MAC goes all day for me!

  7. TLDR: are high-end shampoo and conditioner (eg, Oribe, Kerastase) worth it?
    I have thick, course, and wirey hair with a slight wave. No dandruff or split ends. I would like my hair to be more fluid and silky, preferably without losing the wave, with lift at the roots and no puffiness at the ends. I’m currently drugstore products (Not Your Mother’s Smooth Move) and am wondering if I can have better hair of I pay $$$$.
    Specific recommendations recommended.

    2. I think it depends on the specific formula and whether it’s good for your hair. I used to swear by Oribe Gold Lust, which is stupid expensive but was a miracle for my thick, curly hair. It definitely provided the more fluid and silky results.
      Lately, I’m loving Briogeo, which is a black woman-owned brand, I use their Don’t Despair, Repair line, and it’s great. Still spendy but a bit less than the Oribe Gold Lust I had previously used.
      FWIW, I think the conditioner matters much more than the shampoo, so you could start there and ease into it financially.

    3. I would spend the money on styling products/treatments and stick with the drugstore shampoo and conditioner. There are plenty of drugstore options that are sulfate free, which seems to be the big thing.

    4. I have coarse, thick, and rather boing-y hair. It is also highly processed. Products make all the difference in the world for my hair.
      Shampoo/conditioner: Aveda Nutriplenish, Oribe Signature, or drugstore entry to the list – Carols Daughter Monoi.
      Finishing Products:any of the Aveda heat protectant smoothing creams or Ouai leave in conditioner, plus a heat protectant blow out spray. For the spray I like Amika Bombshell Blowout spray or the Ouai heat protectant styling spray (which I am not seeing listed at the moment and really hope they haven’t discontinued.) Bonus: spring for the tub of Oribe Signature Moisture mask and use it every week or every other week.

      I don’t know if you are old enough to remember Roseann Rosanna Danna on Saturday Night Live, but honest to goodness that is pretty much my natural hair. Use of the above listed products makes it smooth and soft, and it looks like I just left a salon.

    5. I think the conditioner and daily treatment products matter the most. I like Bumble and Bumble; they are the only products that have produced a noticeable difference.

      1. I tried Bumble and Bumble shampoo and conditioner and noticed no difference (except in my wallet). But leave-in products like oils make a but impact for me.

    6. I have found a Kerastase mask makes a difference for my perimenopause suddenly dry hair when used once or twice a week. I am a lifelong user of drugstore shampoo and conditioner but need extra help now. It would be too much if used daily, though.

    7. How you style it (in order to get the volume and sleekness) is more important than what shampoo you use.

    8. I don’t know about high high end, but different shampoos and conditioner are definitely very different!

      One cheap thing to try could be the Malibu “remedy” crystal packets. My experience is that they are all pretty similar. My hair is instantly more fluid and silky after the ten minute treatment and looks very clean and sleek when dry.

      For shampoo and conditioner that doesn’t weigh down my hair, I’m pretty happy with Marc Anthony’s Strictly Curls in the yellow bottles. I’ve heard good things about Verb’s Ghost but haven’t tried yet.

    9. Give Frizz Ease Beyond Smooth a try. Purple bottles. Made a dramatic difference in my hair. I think it’s about finding the right formula, not how much you spend.

    10. +1 to the styling and finishing products making more of a difference than the shampoo/conditioner. I’ve been using Tresemme Sleek and Shine for years (wavy hair) and save my $$$ for Olaplex hair oil and Davines leave in conditioner

    11. My advice would be to look at ulta for gift with purchase sets or sephora for sets that have a variety of brands in travel size. it’s a good way to get enough of a sample to try some different products and see.

    12. Nexxus Humectress is a godsend. I consider Nexxus a higher end drugstore brand–it’s not really salon. I get mine at Costco. I also have super-dry, curly hair. It makes a world of difference. I cosign that shampoo doesn’t matter, as long as it’s not drying. Conditioner and figuring out what styling product works for you is the way to go. Tons of places say “use gel” but for my hair, moisturizing/not firm hold mousse gives me perfect hair. Go to target or a bigger drugstore, buy a bunch of products, try them, donate the ones that don’t work. You’ll find your holy grail (cries in discontinued Tressemme mousse).

    13. For me, it is. It’s a little luxury that I treat myself too. I switch between the Kerastase Genesis line and the Oribe Gold Lust repair. Both leave my course, bleached hair soft and full.

    14. I use the Kirkland shampoo and conditioner that are supposed to be dupes for Purology

      I do know products can make a difference. I was in NYC for work week before last and the hotel products were Aveda rosemary mint, and my hair was like straw. Then I was in LA last week and the hotel products were Davine’s and my hair was better than at home. (I realize it could also have been the water.) I’m not buying that one because I couldn’t stand the fake fruity smell of it, but now I know my hair could be better and I’m figuring out what to do with that info.

    15. my only note is that i’m someone who keeps shampoo for years and years, sometimes because i only use it a few months a year, or at my mother’s house, or because it doesn’t work with keratin or whatever. but the ONLY shampoo i’ve ever had go bad was a very expensive one from Alterna… after a few years it turned really watery.

    16. L’Oreal’s Eversleek at least used to be a good line (I haven’t bought it in a while so I’m not sure if it’s still around, but if not they probably replaced it with something).

  8. Alright so I know on public transit etc. you’re not supposed to put your bag in the empty seat next to you. If the train/lounge/boarding area is crowded I don’t. But when there are plenty of empty seats, yeah I’m putting my bag next to me. People have a serious disregard for a woman’s personal space. If it’s between sitting next to a man or a woman, people always pick the woman. I can’t blame them, I do the same. If you’re respectful, no problem. But so many people aren’t. People who spread their stuff everywhere. An entire family crammed into a small space because it’s the first spot they saw, even though there are other spaces available. And I don’t need to tell this crowd about creepy men who sit right next to you when there are entire rows open elsewhere. If I get up and move every time someone is offensive it’s like I’m playing musical chairs all over the place.

    1. Someone taking a seat next to you on public transit isn’t violating your personal space. Your space is one seat, not two.

      1. 100%. That’s how public transit works. You don’t get to pick other people’s seat for them.

    2. did someone complain to you about your bag in a relatively empty room? I always set my bag next to me unless space is filling up and pretty sure every single other person in the train car also did so…

    3. Where did you hear the rule that you’re not supposed to put your bag in the empty seat next to you? That’s only a rule if other seats are taken, not if there are other places to sit.

    4. Yeah, that’s pretty normal. I take an early morning train that’s pretty empty (5-6 people in the carriage normally) and take a table and spread out to work. On the way home, I stick to my single seat and put my bag up top, but if it’s empty, it’s fine. Sideeye to the man on the rammed Friday night train who had a water bottle on the seat next to him, but also sideeye to the people who didn’t use their words and ask him to move it.

    5. I take public transit and while I have plenty of things that bug me about taking it, bags on empty seats when it is not crowded is not one of them. No one really cares where you put your bag as long as you move it when it gets crowded, which you do.
      As an aside, there really is no such thing as ‘personal space’ on public transit, lol, especially when it’s crowded.

      1. I would just say don’t make someone have to ask you to move it when the train is filling up. Please move it preemptively.

      2. I think personal space depends. if its crowded sure, you have to accept some crowding. but if its half empty, its not unreasonable to expect that someone doesnt sit right next to you when they could sit a seat or two further or across the aisle. Same way guys think its weird when someone uses the urinal right next to them when the rest are open.

        1. It might not be unreasonable to have that expectation, but having the expectation doesn’t make it reality. On public transit you pay for one seat and anyone at any time can choose the seat next to you, that’s the nature of the beast. That is why I said there really isn’t any personal space on public transit.
          One way I deal with things is when it’s not crowded I will take the aisle seat instead of the window seat and that makes it awkward for someone else to take the seat next to me (yes I move over when it gets crowded).

        2. Totally agree. I’ve certainly had men on public transport sit unnecessarily close or touch me when there was no reason. I’m shocked so many people above are saying that’s not a real concern.

  10. Questions for the lawyers in the group- where is a JD/MBA useful? it seems like most people I know who went that route are either using the JD or the MBA but that there doesn’t seem to be a ton of overlap or types of roles where both are really helpful or required.

    1. they usually start off in lawyer jobs with a view to working their way into finance-based careers where the legal background is helpful (pitfalls in M&A tr-nsactions, etc)

    2. It’s unnecessary, my advice is pick a lane. The closest use case is in-house counsel who moves to the business side, but an MBA isn’t necessary for that and is rarely held by lawyers who make that move. It’s an extra year of pointless school debt.

    3. I have a JD/MPP and find it a liability except in the very niche field in which I work that explicitly requires skills and knowledge from both degrees. For most jobs that require one degree or the other, employers are suspicious that either I am very bad at the other thing and can’t get a job with that degree, or that I’m just settling for their job and will jump ship for a job that prefers the other degree ASAP.

    4. A close friend did it m. She went to Penn. was in law, then quickly moved to the business side but for a company that sells to lawyers.

    5. I work in very finance-y law, and I had my MBA before I got my JD. The biggest benefit is that I speak the language of business, and I fundamentally understand finance, accounting and organizational behavior without having to think, “Why are we doing this?”

      I do think there are careers where it’s very useful (debt structuring on wall street, restructuring, vulture investing, hedge funds leap to mind). Both skillsets are wonderful if you are going into entrepreneurship or you are, for instance, looking to be a senior executive in a highly regulated industry, like pharma. I think if you want to learn about business generally, there’s ways to take accounting and corpfin in law school and reading good business rags/books, and you can do your own business education.

      I don’t regret my time in b-school at all–it was amazing and I have wonderful friends from it. And the debt was miniscule relative to law school. It’s more about opportunity cost. Anyone that can attend a top MBA program is foregoing a good-paying job for a year or two (depending on whether you do it separate or concurrent with a JD in 4 years).

      1. Yeah, my friend with this dual degree is CEO at an energy company. I think he was served by both. But that is an exception, not the rule, and he was destined for exec leadership by temperament and connections.

  11. Looking for help/support/advice. Like Garth Brooks said, I am much too young to feel this damn old. I am 41, and when I try to get out of bed in the mornings, I am STIFF. Mostly my backs and my hips. It does get better throughout the day, but my mobility is never great. We just upgraded to great new firm mattress, so I sadly realize the problem is me and not my bed. I am overweight and don’t work out consistently. I am so frustrated with myself for letting my health get to this point, and I am terrified that I can’t do anything to fix it. I just started working with a dietician, so I am good on the food front. I need help with movement.

    What can I do in the mornings when I can barely bend over to empty the dishwasher? Should I start with stretching and work my way up to something else? Yoga? Pilates? I understand that I need cardio and weight-training, but frankly I am starting from ground zero and need to work my way up to that. I have the Peloton app/bike if you have specific suggestions from there. Thanks for your help.

    1. If it were me I would start with a doctor to rule out any underlying medical cause before I started doing any type of exercise…

    2. I suppose the most sensible first step would be talking to your doctor, especially if you are in any kind of pain. But if you feel up to it, starting with a gentle yoga or stretch routine sounds like it would help. There are a ton of videos online, but if you are at all like me and need external motivation, perhaps see if any yoga studios or gyms around you have beginner classes. Some places even offer 1:1 coaching/training, especially for a new member. Maybe even give aqua-yoga a try! You might be the youngest person in the pool, but it is very gentle and soothing.

    3. the good news is that regaining mobility and flexibility can happen pretty quickly! It is NOT too late to change and I think you may find quick improvement which will keep you motivated.

      I am not a doctor at all. But if I were you, I would start with nighttime stretching before bed. You can Youtube “gentle stretching” videos and experiment to find something you like. It also might help you sleep better. It also just feels freaking amazing.

      If you are starting from zero, i recommend a gentle yoga class before eventually moving onto pilates. (though if you are able to afford a private pilates instructor for a few sessions I swear it will change our life – I needed that individualized attention before feeling ready for group reformer classes or at home pilates videos, it is perhaps the best $500 I have ever spent).

      I find the Peloton yoga to be NOT good for a bunch of reasons. The go-to for a starter is Yoga with Adrienne, very good for a beginner especially if your first focus is on stretching and gentle movement.

      On the nutrition front you may want to consider things to address inflammation. Turmeric and ginger, etc. I went whole-hog and had to cut out gluten to address my body-wide chronic pain/inflammation and it was a gamechanger but ymmv and I don’t recommend starting that extreme unless a doctor has suggested it. But I note it as context.

      you can do this!

      1. I’d recommend yin yoga specifically–less movement, more stretchy. Agree Yoga with Adrienne is good, and DownDog app is worth the price.

    4. I’m 53. Doing 10-20 minutes of yoga at night before bed makes a big difference in how stiff I feel in the morning. If I don’t do it because I’m too tired, I regret it.

      1. We do “Yoga by Kassandra”’s 30-day 10 minute morning yoga every morning for exactly this reason. Very simple. All you need is a mat (and you could probably get away without one until you decide you want to buy one). We watch them for free on You Tube.

    5. Honestly, I’d just start with walking and trying to move more all day long, including stretching and doing things that use your upper body. Doing that consistently is going to be much more important than sporadically doing intensive workouts that you don’t like and then returning to doing nothing, plus you’re more likely to get injured. Once you’ve gotten used to being active on a regular basis you can build up to doing more intensive workouts if you want to. Just moving more in general is most important, but as someone with neck and shoulder pain/stiffness, I find that bikes aren’t the best exercise for me because they require me to keep my upper body in a fixed position. Walking or a dance based cardio is much better for keeping me loose. See a PT if you have specific pain and they can give you some exercises to work on, or else you can google exercises to target the areas that are bothering you the most.

    6. My mom is a very fit 71 and says that 40 is when she started feeling old. I’m 38 and definitely starting to feel it. I think to some degree it’s inevitable.

    7. Assuming you have ruled out any other medical causes of your stiffness (arthritis, etc.), I would actually start with walking to warm up your muscles before doing any stretching. Walk at a brisk pace if you’re able (and if you’re not able now, start slower and work up to it) for at least 15-20 minutes and then use your Peloton app to find a stretching video. You don’t necessarily have to do this first thing in the morning, and you should consider experimenting with different times of the day to find what gives you the most relief. If you have a desk job or otherwise spend a lot of time sitting, also take some stretch breaks throughout the day every 1-2 hours (these can be short and basic and you can even do them seated – search online for seated stretching). Try this for at least two weeks before moving on to something more intense like yoga/pilates/elliptical/weightlifting/biking (all of which of course have beginner variations).

      If you are able to engage a fitness trainer or have a friend who is an experienced weightlifter, it would be helpful to have someone teach you proper form when you’re ready to start lifting weights. The last thing you want to do is injure yourself and make you feel even more stiff. And they could also help you with basic principles of weightlifting, like making sure you work both the front and back of your body (abs but also back, biceps but also triceps, quads but also hamstrings, etc.).

    8. This was me a year ago and I am here to say it got so much better! I really just focused on walking. When I started just on getting in a 20 minute walk a day. Now I’m up to an hour most days because I love it, but just the baseline consistent 20 minutes made a world of difference. Peloton has great stretch classes so if you can do a 10 minute one a few times a week you’ll feel it.

      Don’t be intimidated by fit people! There is lots you could do, but you don’t have to foam roll or do anything intense, walking and some gentle stretching will do a world of good.

    9. I was you a few years ago. Maybe less pain/stiffness but totally unexercised for years and overweight. I started with walking and worked up to running while making major changes in diet that reduced my weight. About three months in I joined a “functional fitness” gym and I’ve been doing that since. I highly recommend it and since it is all scalable you should not be afraid to do some weight training pretty quickly.
      As a first step, I would suggest immediately researching exercises for hip flexors and starting with those daily. You can just find videos online. Getting those working will make an immediate difference. Add daily walks. Then do some basic stretching for the lower back, like child’s pose, down dog, and frog stretch and then Russian babymakers. Hold the stretches a lot longer than you think you would and you can work deeper and deeper into them.
      You can make a lot of changes in your 40s. I did.

    10. You are young for significant arthritis, but it is not outside the realm of possibility. If it is arthritis, there are several prescription options that would make a big difference in how you feel, and thus your willingness to exercise. It’s hard to make yourself exercise when you are stiff or you hurt. Maybe see your doctor and see what they think.

      1. Not the OP, but can you expand on these prescription options? I am early 40s with some poorly-managed arthritis. My PCP is at a bit of a loss, since the specialists she sent me to think it is no big deal because I am young and active. She understands that I am active in spite of the pain not because it doesn’t exist, and wants to help but is a bit out of her depth when the specialists just shrug and tell me it’s not THAT bad since I am not their typical geriatric patient.

        1. Do the specialists somehow not understand that the arthritis is damaging your joints? And that by being younger, that means you have more years of damage ahead of you than a typical geriatric patient? It seriously boggles my mind sometimes how and why some people end up in medicine if they’re not interested in actually treating patients. Next time you meet with your PCP or useless rheumatologist, ask if they can refer you to a rheumatologist who has a lot of experience treating younger patients.

        2. You may need to do some research on who the good specialists are in your region. It sounds like you saw specialists who just aren’t interested in treating younger patients. There are others who are. The treatments may depend on what kind of arthritis it is and what’s causing it (which can take a lot of investigation, not just running some labs and seeing if they’re positive or negative, since they’re not all sensitive enough to rule things out).

      2. There is Celebrex. It is a wonder drug. Specifically, it is a very powerful NSAID of the Cox-inhibitor variety. However…. I don’t urge people to use it, I just say do the research, consult with your doctor, and make your own decision. Similar drugs, Vioxx and Bextra, were pulled from the market. There are allegations that Celebrex should have been pulled too, but that they cherry-picked test data and escaped being pulled. Potential side effects are horrendous and include death. The most likely bad side effect involves liver function. My PCP does liver function labs every six months. Why then do I take it? Because it is a miracle drug for me. I had a diagnosis of “severe, advanced arthritis” before I turned fifty. Without Celebrex I would not be functional. Even with it I hurt, but at a much lower level where the pain does not override my ability to focus.

        Going back a generation on the prescription arthritis drugs there is Mobic. This is an overall safer option. My dog takes mobic, as does my father.

        And, as I often do here, I recommend ginger tea made with fresh ginger. Ginger is a great anti-inflammatory. . Buy the ginger root at the grocery store. Peel a piece of it that is the equivalent of an inch squared off. Slice as thinly as you can, pour boiling water over it, then steep. The longer you steep it the stronger it gets. I will make it in the morning and start sipping on it mid morning and then sip throughout the day. Add honey if you like. A small handful of fresh mint is not remiss in hot weather. If I am diligent about having the tea every day I can back the Celebrex down from 400 mg a day to 400 mg a day.

    11. Have your doctor run a full panel to check for any deficiencies. Also, really talk to your doctor about how stiff you are feeling, if it is impacting any activities of daily living, and the issues with your mobility. Consider stuff like: “I am having trouble with mobility [describe specific things] because the muscles in my back are stiff. Can you send me for a PT evaluation to work on this?” “Or, the range of motion in my hip is limited to from here to here. This is not normal. Can you send me for an evaluation?” This is what they are for, and covered under your insurance unlike a personal trainer.

      1. +1

        There are plenty of people at the age of ~40 who have no issues like this despite being overweight and not working out. I think it’s worth conveying the issue clearly and asking for an evaluation so that it’s clear what to work on.

    12. Go for a walk. If it’s dark (heck even if it’s not, whatevs), don’t even worry about brushing your teeth, combing your hair, putting a bra on or any other thing. Just go walk for 10 minutes. Don’t worry about a “workout” or regimen or anything like that. Just go walk for 10 minutes, and work it up to 10 minutes after each meal. By the time you’re done walking, you’ll almost certainly have loosened up a bit.

      1. I don’t allow myself to watch tv unless I’ve already been outside that day. Once you start moving it’s easy to keep going. I find that once I turn on the tv I lose all motivation for the day.

    13. Start with anything you’ll actually do! A tight muscle is a weak muscle, according to physical therapists. If you want to, a referral to PT might be a good start, but you can probably also just do whatever you want to at home. Personally, I prefer following videos that I can follow along with. Here’s a good start for a short mobility workout: https://www.nourishmovelove.com/15-minute-mobility-workout/ Stretching is great but static stretching isn’t super effective, so dynamic moves like in these kinds of videos can be very helpful. This lady has a ton of different types of free workouts and they’re all pretty good. My PT actually shared a few with me – I like to work in some of her short strength training videos in my weekly exercise routine.

    14. Same age and also a fan of that garth song. Progressive weight training has been amazing for my aches and pains. I’ve written this here before but two sessions a week of four to five exercises, each in 3 sets heavy enough that you can only do 6-8 reps with a a two minute rest in between will actually work. we’re talking two sessions of about 45 minutes, most of which is resting. That at a daily walk of 30-60 minutes will check a ton of exercise boxes and you won’t have to sit through one exercise class. (I can’t stand them.)

    15. I was like this. Turns out it was inflammation and dietary changes did more for me than any exercise, although that helped, too. Seriously, I’m not very woo-woo, but I cut back on sugar, processed food, caffeine, alcohol and refined carbs and it made all the difference. Over a month or so, my stiffness and joint pain found a lot of relief and I began walking, which also helped. I’ve noticed that if my diet slips for a few days and I drink soda and sweets and lots of bread, I can feel it in my body.

      1. I don’t think that’s woo at all! It’s truly amazing how much effect diet can have on systemic inflammation.

        1. Very late reading all the comments, but I was thinking that what you’re describing doesn’t sound typical to me at all (also 41, overweight, and out of shape). Talk to your doc about arthritis, and then dive into food options – it may be inflammation from sugar and the like. I’ve definitely noticed my body feels crappier when I don’t eat healthful meals. (I intentionally didn’t say healthy, bc I think it has a diet or sainthood connotation – but trying to eat whole foods and avoiding junk has had a big impact as I’ve aged.)

    16. On the chance you check back – without detracting from the suggestions above, please consider whether your desk chair is playing a part in this. I am around your age, had a period of similar stiffness upon waking where even bending slightly over the sink was terribly painful, and it was my desk chair. I switched to a standing desk and have not had back pain since. I started out standing about 80% of the time and on a stool the other 20%, realized recently that I haven’t used the stool in months. I do try to walk to another room between calls during the day, I sit at the kitchen table or on the sofa when I take lunch, and most days I walk the dog around the neighborhood at some point during the work day so it’s not 100% standing still.

  12. NOVA-rettes – talk to me about living in NOVA.

    I have a job opportunity in the area and am considering relocating my family of one husband who works remotely, two kids in fourth and second grades, and one rescue mutt who loves to run and dig. We’d be coming from a much-beloved Midwest small town and I’d like to know what changes we can expect.

    Where do you live – burbs? In the city? Near a metro line? Can we swing a single family home with a HHI in the mid-300s? How are the schools?

    Are there smallish towns with walkable areas, or am I dreaming and we will need to drive everywhere? Is the housing stock exclusively new build in the burbs, or are there historic homes located within a reasonable driving distance of the central areas? I am looking in the Falls Church area for work.

    1. Lots of smallish areas with walkable parts but it is all expensive and competitive. I’m pondering making a move there from the city but was depressed when I visited a friend who just bought a house in Arlington that was almost 1 mil, only had one small bathroom on the second floor which would make it very difficult for those with mobility issues such as my inlaws to visit, and definitely needed some renovations. I guess that could make it historic, if you don’t care about main floor bathrooms or closets. She paid almost $50K over asking price to get it. It was not walking distance to any cute downtown-ish areas.

    2. I grew up there and visit. I am glad I left. There are still charming older homes closer in but they are pricy. I’ll let others weigh in on that as my relatives now live far out, where it is affordable but McMansion where you can see into your neighbors house and have no yard yet it’s an hour drive to DC. Those further out areas are not at all walkable. There are also some conservative politics around schools in the further out burbs. Banned books anti trans etc.

    3. The good: public schools are generally good, there are tons of free and low-cost activities, people are generally welcoming because it’s a pretty transient area.

      The bad: housing is expensive. Yes you can swing a SFH with that income, but it won’t be a new build with all the bells and whistles. You’ll have to make compromises. Traffic can be bad, so for us we prioritized living close to work and school and live in a small house that needs work. If you will be working in Falls Church, you will have more options, you could go more towards Burke or western Fairfax County. If you won’t need the metro for commuting it’s not worth paying a premium to be close to it.

      The other big thing to consider, especially coming from a small town, is navigating the opportunities for your kids. There are tons of opportunities but still somehow not enough for the demand. The popular classes (gymnastics, dance, swimming, etc) offered by the counties fill up within minutes of opening. You have to bring your parenting A-game.

      1. This is really helpful, thank you ALL – we have a great community here that is safe for the kids to roam to their friends’ houses independently, and I would love to be able to retain both the social bonds and their independence if we make a move. Our neighborhood is full of century homes and I have a real preference for older build rather than the overnight developments that I’m more familiar with in NOVA.

    4. Falls Church is absolutely lovely. With your requirements and work location, I’d look in Annandale or Sleepy Hollow. Nice yards, pretty homes, close to your work, good schools. The “downtown” of Falls Church City reminds me of the walkable Midwest city where I grew up (weekly farmer’s market, lots of community events at a community center), and the City has its own school district, but the real estate that is walkable to the downtown area has gotten crazy expensive.

    5. My boyfriend lives in Old Town and it is lovely in many ways! He has friends who live as far out as Huntingdon without a car. I think that is a little tricky, but if you are inside the beltway it gets much easier. I can’t speak as much to Falls Church, but Alexandria and Arlington both have walkable areas.

    6. With a HHI in that range, you can definitely get a SFH, but be prepared for it to be $1M+ and for it to be smaller, older, in need of repairs, and on a smaller lot than what you’re used to. There are definitely some walkable areas (Falls Church itself, Vienna, Reston, Fairfax City), but the housing that’s walkable to those areas is even more $$. Also you should forget about the idea of a “town;” it’s pretty much straight urban/suburban sprawl from DC to well past Dulles Airport. There are some “town centers” that have concentrations of retail businesses in a walkable environment, but you’re unlikely to find one where you can do all of your daily errands within walking distance of a reasonably priced house (see the walkability discussion earlier this week), though perhaps you can drive to one of the town centers and accomplish several errands at once. If you don’t need to use the Metro for work, don’t buy near the Metro because it will be that much more $$. Also don’t consider buying too far out, because 5 or 10 miles doesn’t seem like a lot when you’re from the midwest, but the traffic around here is absolute murder. Note that there are generally better routes for getting east-west than there are north-south, since everything is oriented toward getting into DC or to the Pentagon. You’re going to need to visit the area, drive around a lot, browse on Redfin/Zillow, and see if anything makes sense for you and your family.

      1. This is spot on. Come out for a visit – it doesn’t feel anything like towns elsewhere. There’s traffic even doing simple errands like running to the corner grocery store. I just left after a decade – and I never thought I’d leave when I first arrived – and the grind of life there just wears on you.

        Also, how do you feel about giving your life over to competitive sports when your kids get an bit older? Because that’s definitely the norm in NOVA.

    7. A realtor will be a big help finding you a walkable neighborhood. Falls Church, and several other “neighborhoods” like Vienna, McLean, Old Town Alexandria, etc. that have quaint walkable downtowns were originally small towns out in the countryside around Washington! The metro area expanded and swallowed them, but the walkable business districts and with older residential neighborhoods around them are still there. That said, the area is very car-centric. Metro is nice, and you’ll pay an enormous premium to be able to walk to a Metro station, but Metro has a lot of fiscal problems, and is not nearly as efficient or extensive as transit systems in other U.S. (NY especially) and international cities, so it’s not the magic bullet for getting around that it might appear to be.

      As a pricing snapshot, consider that I live in southern Fairfax County, close to Ft. Belvoir, about 45 minutes drive from downtown DC. Not close to Metro, but a “bus rapid transit” system will reach the neighborhood in 10 years assuming it actually gets built. Stores and services are a very short drive away, but not walkable (no sidewalks, narrow roads with a drainage ditch alongside, very typical in NoVA suburbs). Local schools are within a good system (Fairfax County) but are not well regarded compared to others in the county. A small new development has gone up adjacent to our neighborhood. SFH, 5000 square feet, 5 BR, 4 bath, 3 car garage, farmhouse style dwellings. They are on small lots (1/4 acre maybe). Priced at $1.25 million. Large older homes (4 BR/3BA on .3 acres) in the neighborhood typically sell for $700K unrenovated (they were built in the 70s and 80s, and some still have original kitchens and baths!) as older baby boomers downsize. Renovated they go for $850K or so.

      1. That seems cheap for 5000 sq ft (which is more house than almost any family needs).

    9. I grew up in NOVA and here are the things I love about it: great public schools, proximity to DC, access to museums and art, plenty of shopping, diverse, all 4 seasons, good travel hub.

      That being said……if you currently love your small town I would think twice. Old Town Alexandria or Del Ray might be a good fit, but as others have said, they’re expensive. Also, your kids can get a fantastic public education but it is very competitive. Sometimes I wish I had relaxed more in high school but there’s serious pressure to get into one of the best VA schools and it can be a lot.

      1. I like NoVa, and it’s the right place for me given my career. But I really disagree that we have four seasons. I don’t think we even got any snow for the last few years. And in the years before that, we would get one or two snow events that would melt within about a week. That’s not a winter to this northerner.

  13. I know this has been covered a million times before but my search didn’t work — I am finding myself in need of a wristlet for lunch outings at work where I can fit my cc, ID and phone but is small enough to wear on my wrist for long-ish walks. Budget $40. I can’t tell online what size will actually work so suggestions are much appreciated!

    1. Most people for this use case are using a lululemon belt bag or something similar.. if you really want a wristlet, i think the kate spade leila medium l-zip is a good option. At the outlet website it’s on sale for 41.

    2. Just buy one that’s slightly longer than your phone. I like 6pm dot come and Rack for things like this. They usually have something suitable. My favorite, super-versatile wristlet is from Rothy’s. It’s out of budget, but Rothy’s has a ton of FB groups where people sell used.

    3. Look for a wallet phone case that fits your phone. You can tuck cards into it and then all you need to carry is your phone.

  14. Lets have a fun thread! What is something that you’ve learned or taken away from a TV show or move that helps you in business?

    Mad Men: That’s what the money is for!
    Suits: Would this hurt Harvey’s feelings? If no, then it shouldn’t hurt mine.
    Billions: Have the confidence of Dollar Bill
    Mollly’s Game: Zero plans of running poker rings but I find this to be weirdly inspiring

    How about you?

    1. I LOVE Molly’s Game, though tbh I’d probably watch Jessica Chasten read from the PDR. Not business so much as “working in an office,” but The Wire: “There you go, giving a f- when it ain’t your turn to give a f-.” and of course, “if you come for the king, you best not miss.” Also Center Stage is a goldmine of inspirational quotes, “Margot Fonteyn didn’t have great feet,” “use.what.you.have.and.turn.out,” and of course, carrying yourself with the confidence of Zoe Saldana as a spunky ballet dancer.

  15. “Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.” It’s a Coco Chanel quote, but I first heard it in the movie Working Girl.

    1. I feel like it’s sort of the opposite in some industries though. Dress too nicely and all they can talk about is your clothes.

    2. This one from Working Girl hits me every time, because I’m pretty much Tess. We are not in a meritocracy. “You can bend the rules plenty once you get to the top, but not while you’re trying to get there. And if you’re someone like me, you can’t get there without bending the rules.”

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