ByKat Hours Updated
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Coffee Break: Large Floral Check Silk Scarf

Erdem Large Floral Check Silk Scarf, Green/Multi I'm really liking Erdem's prints right now — something about the colors in this scarf look so young and fresh as styled here, but when you look at the overall pattern on the scarf it seems more like a classic, almost dowdy pattern. It's the kind of accessory that I could see growing with you through the years. It's available for preorder at Bergdorf Goodman for $550. Erdem Large Floral Check Silk Scarf, Green/Multi (L-2)

Sales of note for 12.2.24 (Happy Cyber Monday!! See our full sale listing here!)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

139 Comments

  1. I love this print. I also love scarves. Great pick Kat.

    If you could pick three items to refresh your wardrobe this spring, what would you buy, and why?

    I’m asking this because…well, I considered dousing my closet in kerosene and starting from scratch yesterday, so I obviously need some refresher items.

    And, any tips on dealing with bangs at the gym? I clip them back or use a headband during my workout, but then they get crazy and won’t lie flat, so I end up having to braid them back. I like my bangs, I don’t like having them for only half my day.

    1. I would probably buy a cute patterned or chambray button down shirt that could be worn with skirts/shorts/jeans/tied over dresses, a flowy maxi skirt or dress (that could be matched with aforementioned shirt) and a pair of espadrilles in a fun color (that also could go with the above pieces).

      That way I could wear the shirt:
      to work with: pencil skirt, ankle pants, under a blazer/cardigan
      for fun/the weekend: with shorts, jean shorts, casual skirt, pegged jeans, tied over a dress, tied with a skirt, with ankle pants all with cute espadrilles

      I could wear the maxi dress/skirt:
      to work: with above shirt tucked in & blazer (if it was a skirt), with just a blazer (if it is a dress)
      for fun/the weekend: with shirt tied over dress, just as it is with fun accessories

      And the espadrilles would bump up my ready to wear summer casual clothes.

      2. Chambray shirt! That’s exactly what I need for a casual summer cardigan alternative over my maxi dresses. I’ve seen it so often, but it didn’t click until I read your post!

    2. I would buy a new black and white striped t-shirt, a flowy, pleated knee length skirt in a light color (cream or something similar), and a pair of cute cognac colored sandals. If I could have a 4th, I would buy a light colored scarf as well.

      1. I really want a knee length or tea length pleated skirt. When I didn’t want one they were everywhere and now it seems like they’re all so short…

    3. Things currently on my wishlist include:

      1) A banana-yellow or mustard colored bag, which I would wear with a navy shift dress and white cardigan
      2) A cute, slightly oversized chambray shirt I could wear tied in front with colored skinny jeans and a polka dot tank underneath
      3) Kelly green flats with some cool detail on the toe

      I really want all of these things. I’m in the mood for my wardrobe to shout “COLOR!” these days.

        1. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen ppl post on here they found cute polka-dot ones at Target & Old Navy, and my sister just got one at Marshall’s/TJ Maxx. Way less than $75.

      3. MOA, I think we’re the same person. I’m also in search of a yellow bag for spring and I just found a pair of kelly green bow flats on eBay :)

    4. I would say a new scarf, a light-coloured pencil skirt and a summery dress that is still relatively structured and covered up that it can work in many settings (bridal showers etc.)

    5. Re: bangs — I use a larger barrette to sweep them off to the side during workouts. They come back fairly well afterwards.

    6. I would get:
      1. A colorful or patterned pencil skirt. It seems like almost all my work skirts are solid neutral colors, and the ones that aren’t don’t fit very well any more.
      2. Colorful ballet flats. My feet have become much fussier in recent years, and all the shoes I have left that don’t hurt are dark neutral. I’m going to get these in blue as soon as the price drops a bit: http://www.zappos.com/earthies-bindi-light-teal I might even try to justify the beige as well…
      3. Light-colored heels. Right now all I can wear are one pair of black pumps and one pair of black sandals. I like these, but I don’t know if I could quite get away with them at work, and they might make my legs look horribly stumpy. http://www.zappos.com/earthies-caradonna-biscuit

      I can find just about all my clothes at thrift shops, so I’m set for those, but I can only tolerate expensive comfort shoes, so those have to get planned out a long time in advance now. :(

      1. Wow those shoes look so great!! I have terrible feet too; do you (or anyone) know if this brand will provide good comfort/support?

        1. Yes, Earthies are the only shoes other than Birkenstocks that I can wear that don’t bother my feet. I own a pair of Earthies pumps (the Essex style) which are great. I have very high arches and need a lot of support, plus a well-padded footbed, otherwise I get heel pain. I have read that the arch support may be too much for those with lower arches, but it’s perfect for me. I discovered the brand thanks to a friend who also has foot problems (flat feet in her case) and owns several pairs of their sandals. They’re the most expensive shoes I’ve ever owned, and I don’t like a lot of the styles, but the comfort is worth it. The pair I have are the only heels I’ve ever been able to walk in without feeling like I’m tiptoeing and about to fall over. I can’t go back to anything else!

          Tl;dr: Yes, these shoes are incredibly comfortable and supportive.

    7. An orange Birkin bag,

      A black croc Birkin bag, and

      A red croc Kelly bag.

      Also, an internship where people would judge me harshly for my sartorial choices.

    8. I only have 2 things at the moment, but I’m looking for:

      1- A short flowy black skirt. I got one from Target last year with a belt that tied and it had pockets and it was perfect for everything! It was the perfect mix of casual and dressy depending on what else I wore with it. It doesn’t fit anymore (which is a good thing) so I donated it and miss wearing it.

      2- Kelly green or orange flats. (Great minds think alike Momentsofabsurdity!)

      Ok, I really have a third, but I haven’t fully nailed down what I want yet.

      3- Casual shoes that I can wear with lots of things on the weekend but that look ok to commute to work in. I’m thinking something like Toms, but haven’t really decided on anything yet. My feet are very picky.

      1. I recently bought a pair of Sketcher Go Walk shoes for my new commuting shoes. Not sure how I feel about them with skirts, but they are super comfy – my feet did great wearing them for 12+ hours at Disneyland last week. Highly recommend.

        1. Thanks. They look a little more like sneakers than what I ultimately want to find, but I’ll keep the comfort factor in mind for sure.

          I want to go to Disneyland!

          1. I picked up boat shoes recently, and I love them. They are so comfortable, and my new commuting shoes (I walk home..it takes about 25-30 minutes…longer if if dawdle on the walk).

      2. I am on the same search for casual but cute shoes that go with everything. I want to like oxfords, but I think they will just make my legs look stumpy. I’m thinking maybe some flat espadrilles, or more structured flats – not ballet because they kill my feet.

    9. Well, one of them I already bought – a light gray/off white patterned blazer from Boden to add interest to my top sections.

      Otherwise:
      I’d love to add a kelly green dress to the rotation.
      Also a pair of purple or orange or interestingly colored pumps.

    10. For some reason I just had a recent frenzied obsession with the color blush and bought two blouses, a blazer and pumps in blush. To freshen my wardrobe I think I need a few things in coordinating colors- like green and navy.

    11. I am loving these suggestions so far!

      I think I may be hunting for
      – a chambray shirt (which I’ve actually been debating for a while, but with it being suggested again, it’s now officially on the list),
      – a pleated skirt of some sort, and
      – bright shoes (I’m leaning towards mint ones…).

      I may replace the pleated skirt with a bright dress – I wear more dresses than skirts, even on weekends, so I’d probably get more wear out of it. I already have a variety of bright scarves, thankfully, otherwise my closet would have been done for.

      2. Update!

        Chambray shirt acquired- from TopShop, possibly the softest shirt I’ve ever owned. I paid $50…a little much, but I think it will be worn every weekend, so probably worth it. I love it so much already, and I haven’t even worn it yet!

        Blush Blazer from Aritzia, colour looks amazing with my skin. Again, I paid too much, but I think I’ll wear it all summer…and, confession, I don’t have any blazers that aren’t black/navy/gray, so, this was probably a worthwhile investment.

        I also stopped by Club Monaco for their 30% off sale…meh. Also, nothing that I loved at BR.

        Shoes are still in the works, and my eyes are open for a pleated skirt that is flattering (I tried one on at Club Monaco…did not look great).

        1. I am so jealous of your shopping. Can you link to the blazer you bought? I would love a blush blazer!

    12. Oooh, I just bought three things to refresh my wardrobe…

      1. Olive green linen blazer w/ light grey/white striped lining. Cute w/ jeans or over a maxi dress for weekends, and cute with black pants/pencil skirts for work.

      2. Black and white chevron maxi dress. Dress up with black stretchy belt w/ gold leaf-shaped clasp & wedges for a wedding, dress down with flats and colorful jewelry/thin belt for casual.

      3. Fun wedges!

      I do still want a chambray shirt…

    13. I’ll address your bangs question! For me, having my bangs flat on my face doesn’t bother me at the gym. They get sweaty but that’s ok. I have found that NOTHING works to preserve them afterwards so I have to wash them. I either shower at the gym with a shower cap over the rest of my hair and only shampoo the bangs, or I wash them at the sink with my hair in a ponytail. Then I use the blowdryers at the gym. I wish bangs didn’t suit my face so, it’s so much easier with out them! :)

      2. +1. I’ve had bangs for almost a decade now, and I just kind of accept the fact that I will look like a trainwreck when I leave the gym. I do, however, love Lululemon’s Bang Buster headband. It’s wider than most, so it completely covers my bangs. I’ll throw that on if I am doing intense cardio.

  2. PSA: tory burch friends and family sale started today; its’ 25% off. They still seem to have all sizes of that a-line dress kat featured a while back, for those who were interested…

    1. Thanks for the tip! Price matching that Walsh dress (F&F) and the Willow dress (on sale at TB + F&F) with Nordstrom.

      1. genius! I forgot that nordie’s does that. I’d always rather get their customer service.

  3. So I just ran into someone in the most beautiful DVF jacket, which has subsequently sent me into an online shopping frenzy where I’ve decided I must have ALL the DVF. But yet probably would not be a wise financial decision…

  4. Not really looking for advice here, since I only have a few days left to deal with this, but RAWR to passive-agressive coworkers. Taking my chair to when I’m out of the room, instead of just moving yours (and leaving your jacket on your chair, so I’m not going to go take it myself), really? I know you don’t like me much anymore, but if I’m old enough to know this is juvenile and petty, you are definitely old enough to realize the same. Maybe you let one of your students take it, instead of doing it yourself, but this is just dumb.

    1. You just have to role with the punche’s my dad say’s. I have to deal with women at work that are so JELOUS of me b/c I am very freindly with the manageing partner and do things that they would not, like clean off his desk, throw out cookie’s that are stale and tell him to straiten his tie or the little hair he has, and to stop buffeing his head when my cleint’s are in the ofice! So the 2 women are very passive agressive with me. They take my food, and either hide it or put it in the cubbord where I can NOT find it until it is OLD. They also move my file’s and then “find” them day’s later after I am FRANTIC! I am ON TO THEM, but tell the manageing partner every time they pull that stuff on me. I can not help that the manageing partner favor’s me by giveing me the clotheing allowance. After all, I am the onley one that goe’s into court and impresse’s the judge. Doing tax work and estates work does NOT require fancy or styleish clotheing, so FOOEY on them. I did NOT ask to be pretty either, but I will NOT intentioneally look sloppey so they feel better either. DOUBEL FOOEY on that! And I am not married, so why are they so jelous? They have MEN to go home to, both of them. FOOEY, b/c I want a man to go home to also.

    2. This RAWR is for my health insurance company! Obamacare says I get my no-baby pills with no-copay. They only put 1 formulation out of dozens of formulations on their official “no-copay list”. And it’s the one that turns me into Godzilla! RAWR!

      1. That sucks. How much are they now? I don’t have health insurance so I’m paying $20/pack at Planned Parenthood.

        1. Same ($20/pack) through the insurance’s mail order pharmacy. Luckily, the cost is not a big deal for me–it’s the principle of the matter. I paid for that insurance gosh darn it!

          1. Check with your plan – there’s a provision of PPACA that might be helpful. My understanding is that if a plan covers only certain bc pills in full, and the covered versions aren’t medically appropriate for you, the plan has to cover another version in full for you – all as documented by your doctor, of course. So it might take some effort from you and your doctor, but it might work.

      2. Check with your plan – there’s a provision of PPACA that may not apply to your situation, but it would be worth checking out. A plan doesn’t have to cover every type of bc pill (for example, they can decide to cover only generics at 100% and still charge a co-pay for brand-names), but if the covered versions are not medically suitable for you (as documented by your MD), the plan has to cover another version for you at 100%. I know this isn’t exactly your situation, but it might work…

        1. Mine is a generic–and I had the reaction when I was under the care of a previous doctor. I looked on the NWLC website and they can charge for brand names but it doesn’t say anything about excluded generics. I sent a nice email to our plan manager with a link to the NWLC. This is ridiculous!

    3. RAWR on a goldsmith who told me “Let me know if you ever want to spoil yourself; I’ll send you some ideas.” Like I need that kind of temptation. A POX ON YOUR HOUSE, SIR!

    4. This is a RAWR to my passive aggressive, crazy mother who had me sobbing last night for at least and hour, and caused me to wake up with a splitting headache. Every.single.time. I make progress getting out of this depression that’s haunted me for three years, she pulls me right.back.down.

        1. Thanks Coach Laura. She wants me to call her after I get off work today. I think I’m just going to go get a pedicure instead!

      2. Seconded! Keep up the RAWR! Right now it is my MIL driving me batty but I’ve been there with my own mother, and BOY do moms know how to push buttons. Not fair.

    5. Rawr to this stomach bug/flu whatever that I have going in. It started with me throwing up in the parking lot of my fancy dermatologist on Tuesday morning, felt much better yesterday, but back to stomach pain/unsettledness today. The only bright spot is that I get to eat as much delicious cinnamon, walnut, raisin bread as I want!

    6. RAWR to my doctor’s office and gastrointestinal tract and Boston traffic, which all cooperated yesterday to make it take three hours to get a prescription that I really needed filled. In the middle of the work day. RAWR.

        1. I know (though I wasn’t actually that close to Cambridge) – it was just a rough afternoon. Obviously I understood though.

  5. Brought about by my dream shopping above, I have found some cute summer sandals… now the question… what color? Link to follow.

    3. I like the gold. I feel like they would be really versatile. The black may be too harsh in the summer.

    4. Ummm, I’m totally stealing these and posting them on my blog. They look great! And I think I like the metallic also, with the red as second choice.

  6. Can anyone recommend any (free) resources on learning to photograph better? In advance of my upcoming summer travels, I bought a better camera/lens combo [Sony Nex system] than my iPhone — but most of the info I’m finding on how to use it is more technical than I’m read for (I have no idea how to read a histogram, for example). Is there a Photography for Dummies kind of resource that anyone recommends?

    My goals are to shoot primarily landscape/scenery and portraits of my family/friends and do it okay/well enough to get some canvas prints made so I can start to display on my walls things I’ve created or places I’ve been (vs the current Bed Bath & Beyond mass-produced-home-decor shtik I’ve got going on in my apartment). I’d like to learn a bit more about how to do that.

    1. No advice for free but my dad reads a lot of photography magazines and they seem to offer good tips at a variety of levels. Perhaps check your local library? Or maybe a local camera shop offers free / cheap seminars?

    2. Not sure where you can get free structured guidance, but I would make sure to

      -generally get much closer to your subject than your instinct says. I’ve taken several photography and darkroom classes, and I think that’s really the most important thing. Look at professional photographs you love and realize how LITTLE they try to capture in each shot.

      -learn how to take manual pictures. There are essentially two ways to change how much light your film (or the digital receptors, I guess) receives: the aperture (which you can watch change sizes if you disconnect your lens and twist the aperture ring), and the shutter speed (a longer time open = more light). These two inputs are pretty important. The smaller the aperture, the more light you need to find elsewhere (ie from a longer exposure time, or natural light, or a flash), but you can focus very exactly on a certain item more easily when the aperture is small. Similarly, having a long shutter speed lets you get pictures in dark places, but things will be more blurry, as you’re more likely to have a subject move a noticeable amount in 1/4 a second than 1/1000 of a second.

      -find a cheap basic photography book and learn some rules of composition. The rule of thirds, etc. Many of the rules apply in other visual arts, not just photography.

      1. Not the OP, but thanks Cornellian for this explanation. I always see aperture/shutter speed and think “wouldn’t you then want the largest aperture & biggest shutter speed for most light?”. But your post makes me realize what the tradeoff is. Obviously I don’t have the patience to go into longer explanations of the technicalities, but liked your TL;DR type response!

    3. Check groupon, amazon local, living social, etc. There is usually a 1-day photography class offered for ~$50.

    5. There are some photography blogs which offer tutorials on how to do things or getting to know your camera. I came across one on Pinterest awhile ago that we used to take a cute holiday picture. We used the Christmas tree one from http://www.lilblueboo.com/photography. There are some other tutorials on there but I haven’t really tried them out.

    6. I started a tumblr awhile back called Mundane Art to show that the most important thing in photography is having the eye to see the fancy picture. Plus, there are tons of things you can do with free software, no fancy camera necessary. I took all the pics on that blog w/ my iphone.

      My last post on there is the day I got the flu and then was down for the count for a week or so. I never went back to maintaining the blog. I hope to revive it this summer but you can still hopefully learn something from it.

      I show a panned out view of what looks “mundane,” the “artsy” picture I took, and the final edited version.

      http://mundaneart.tumblr.com/

    7. “Understanding Exposure” is a great book that covers composition and technical aspects.

    8. Smugmug’s blog and email letters! They also have free classes in different areas.

    9. Start with some of Jim Miotke’s books such as BetterPhoto Basics. There are some focused on specific types of photography such as “Digital Nature Photograhy” etc. You can also take a photography class. If there is a community arts centre in your area, check with them.

  7. Random question of the day: where do I buy (in person) fake tattoos? Need them for a prank and have no clue! I’d love Tattly ones but lost track of time.

    1. I have bought them at Wal-Mart, Target, and Hobby Lobby. (I don’t have an obsession with fake tattoos, but I do have kids….)

    3. I’ve seen them at Michael’s too. Now I really want to get a fake tattoo and freak out my conservative work mates.

    4. Spencers or Hot Topic seem to carry them if you happen to be near a mall.

  8. I really love this scarf! I exclusively by scarves from highbrow thrift stores though. Way more cost effective.

  9. Work shoes — what colors should I have them in? I have black and nude-to-me, and now I’m stuck on what shoes to buy next!

    1. I have found cognac brown to be really versatile. I also love red, but that depends on your style.

    2. Eggplant! I wear them all the time when I want color but don’t want my feet to scream “I’m wearing color!” Grey and navy are both pretty versatile but a little more exciting than black. A dark tan (nude for me/Beyonce) is great for summer.

      1. Second eggplant!

        Or a pattern that can work as a neutral: tortoise, snake print, or leopard. Personally, I hate leopard print, but a lot of women pull it off well.

    3. My most worn shoes are in this order: black, gray, tortoise, nude and red. Just added a pair of green flats that I think will get a lot of use.

    5. I think gray/pewter shoes are really useful and can go with almost everything. They’re my go to for pumps (I like them better than black).

  10. I have a logistical question and hope someone’s experience might be helpful. If I shouldn’t be worried about this, feel free to say so…

    We just got our marriage license, and the wedding is in about a month. Our officiant is one of the flakiest people I’ve ever had the misery to deal with, but for religious rule reasons we cannot switch to someone else. The license says it must be completed and returned within 10 days of the wedding, “on penalty of law.” I assume our marriage also won’t be legal if this doesn’t happen, and we’d have to do it again (!) My question is how to ensure that it actually gets filled out and returned on time. Has anyone else dealt with this concern? We’re going on a honeymoon directly after the wedding and won’t be able to call/email (nor will we want to!) but we have an extremely hard time contacting this person anyway, even when we’re in town. By the time we’re back, the 10-day period will be up. I’m just really concerned that this person will not follow through.

    Any ideas for, well, making sure this actually gets done? We have a few local friends but no local family, and no one else has any relationship to this officiant.

    1. Fill out all you can before hand, everyone fill it out at the wedding – make a big deal about it – take pictures, then have a trusted friend drop it in the mail for you on Monday morning.

      1. I should have said–this isn’t an option. There’s a signature needed from someone who won’t be at the wedding. It has to be taken care of after the witnessing of the event.

        1. Huh? I don’t understand…usually it’s the bride, groom, officiant, and 2 witnesses who need to sign. They all have to be at the wedding.

          Even if it doesn’t get done, you can get “remarried”. One friend had to do this–they had a joke-y party with the officiant and two witnesses (who weren’t the same as the “real wedding” party). It was kind of fun.

          1. Yeah, I’d be more open to the “remarriage” if it didn’t mean we’d have to pay for another license, which would be substantial. Again, it’s simply the case that we need the signature if someone who won’t be at the wedding. Veronique’s suggestion below is the closest I had come to a resolution on my own, but I am still concerned with the unimaginable flakiness of this person, and how hard it is to get ahold of them. “Scheduling” anything seems worthless when they’re not following through on commitments and we haven’t even been able to have our own pre-wedding meetings without a huge hassle! If anyone has further ideas, please share.

          2. That wouldn’t be cool with me. I’d want my anniversary and real wedding to be the day I was officially married. I feel your anxiety.

        2. Can you get a friend to be in charge of directly obtaining that signature? You could get the certificate from the officiant at the wedding and give it to a friend. Your friend would make an appointment with final signer for sometime during the week after the wedding (do it now), get the signature, and then mail the certificate.

          1. Yes, I agree with this. Someone else has to run point on this – you and your SO will not be available. Ask your friend now, find out the availability of this other person, and schedule an appointment.

    2. At my wedding we all filled it in together like 2 mins after the ceremony and then I think I gave it to my mom? who mailed it? Literally all the officiant has to do is sign. I don’t think you need to entrust him to mail it in.

    3. We had my mom take it to the County Clerk after the wedding, while we were on our honeymoon (we got married in the summer & she’s a teacher, so it worked well). I’d have someone responsible do it for you–your parents, his parents, best man, maid of honor, etc. Just make sure the officiant signs at the wedding!

  11. Hi everyone, I’m a new poster, though I’ve been using this blog as my fashion compass for interviews etc. in the past year :). I’m moving to DC in a few months for a new job, and am looking for advice on where to live.

    I’ll be renting at least for one or two years, since my SO will be long distance for that time. My priorities are:

    – Convenient to the metro
    – Young and lively neighbourhood (I’m in my late 20s) with nice shops and restaurants, but not party central
    – <$1200/mo, and I'd be happy to share a house and have flatmates

    I'd also be very interested in comparisons of living in DC/Maryland/Virginia in terms of income taxes and cost of living.

    Also, how far in advance should I start looking? Judging by current craigslist ads, it seems like I shouldn't start until a month or two in advance.

    Thanks!

    1. There seems to be a real shortage of housing in D.C. now so I would not wait until the month before.

      1. A lot of leases start in June, so if you’re looking to move this summer, you might need to look now for those places.

    2. I found an apartment in D.C. on Craigslist and didn’t have any luck looking more than a month or two in advance either. Agents might be different; I’m not sure about that.

      For $1,200 a month in a lively neighborhood, you’re looking at roommates or a studio in a less-nice building (not unsafe, but you won’t get a fitness center or a washer/dryer in your apartment or central AC). I’d recommend looking at Columbia Heights, which I think would fit both your budget and your neighborhood preferences. (Though it’s restaurant-friendly more than shopping-friendly.) Adams Morgan is a good bet too, though the bar scene can be a bit much on the weekends. For a preppier vibe, you could consider the Courthouse–>Ballston corridor in Arlington on the Orange line (getting cheaper the further away you get from the city, natch). And you might check out the H Street corridor in Northeast, which is in an earlier stage of gentrification, but quite lively.

      1. I agree with the recommendation and assessment of Columbia Heights. Also check out Alexandria and Arlington. I particularly liked Alexandria when I lived in DC, and think it fits the bill in terms of convenience and things to do (farmers markets, shopping, restaurants), although the population skewed a little older than Arlington. You might also like the Capitol Hill neighborhood in DC.

        1. +1 for Alexandria. So nice to be close to the river in the warm weather, too!

      2. Also agree with this assessment of Columbia Heights. I’ve lived in Adam’s Morgan for three years, so obviously love it. But before that I lived in Columbia Heights and before that by H st (5th and L NE). I really enjoyed living in Columbia Heights and there’s been a lot of development (restaurants) on 11th street since I moved. When I lived by H street in 2009 there was way less development than there is now – there was only Murray’s for grocery shopping :( Now there’s a Harris Teeter and a new Giant opening up where the Murray’s was. A lot of really great stuff has gone in there. Logan Circle is really nice too – a bit more shopping there than the other areas, but is pricier than CHeights or H street.

    3. In that price range, I would recommend the following neighborhoods: Columbia Heights, Clarendon/Courthouse, Chinatown, H St. NE, Dupont. I had success finding my roommates, as well as a studio, on Craigslist. If you’re going the Craigslist route for a shared house/apt situation, then I agree about a month/6 weeks out should be sufficient. If you’re looking at high rises in Clarendon/Courthouse or Chinatown, then you’d need more time (and roommates given your price range). As others said, you get more space for less money the further out you go. Clarendon/Courthouse is only a couple metro stops into VA. It is very young, good restaurants, some shopping, good bars but not party central. I lived in DC (Logan then Dupont) for 4 years, and have been in VA for 4 now. Lower taxes in VA than DC. Commuting into DC from VA is easy (though the metro will, at times, suck the life out of you). Biggest issue I have is getting a cab from DC late at night that will go to VA (DC drivers are not supposed to refuse to pick up, but they do, because they can’t pick up in VA). But that’s why Uber is so fantastic. Good luck!

    5. I found that it was impossible to rent much more than a month in advance, but things went VERY QUICKLY so you basically had to be there exactly a month in advance. Come to town for a few days mid-week (many places aren’t open on the weekends, if you’re looking at big buildings, but apartments in rowhouses or otherwise privately owned may be more flexible).

    6. Agree with what people have said so far. Use Craigslist (way cheaper) and look for a room in a rowhouse. You’ll be able to find something in the $1200 range in U Street, Columbia Heights, or Adams Morgan. Foggy Bottom is also a great location if you don’t mind living in the GWU student neighborhood. I lived in Arlington (Clarendon) for a year and it’s a nice area, but the culture is definitely more suburban than urban, so be aware of that. You’ll want to live in an area that’s your “scene” because it’ll make it easier for you to make friends. I wouldn’t move to Capitol Hill or H Street. I am certainly comfortable spending time in both areas, but wouldn’t advise you to live there, especially since you’ll be new to the city. There is less development which means less people on the streets and the areas have more safety issues as a result.

  12. so with all the personal drama I have totally neglected to prepare for my trip to Whitby Gothic Weekend. thus it is now nearly 11 pm and I am dyeing my hair and looking for fishnets when I have to be at the airport at 7.

    “whooops”

  13. Repost because I accidentally posted this in the TPS report thread – Today’s been a rough day. I just met my best friend for lunch, where she told me that she & her husband are moving to another state in three months.

    We’ve lived either in the same house or within reasonable walking/driving distance for the last 7+ years. I know that we can still stay in touch, but the thought of not having her so nearby makes me really, really sad.

    We’re also both about to go through big milestones soon (she will likely have her first baby soon, my BF & I are discussing getting engaged in the next 12 months), and the thought of not being “around” for those for each other is devastating.

    Any commiseration/sympathy/advice? It’s a little tough to focus on work after getting this news. It’s taking all of my concentration not to cry at my desk.

    1. I can commiserate. A good friend of mine just moved away at Xmas, and I feel such a hole in my life. I still don’t really know how I’ll cope with this over the summer, because her and I usually spent a lot of time together when the weather was nice- running, hiking, etc.

      It’s really hard. Harder than I thought it would be, to be honest.

    2. My best friend moved 5 hours away last summer and it was definitely tough. It’s definitely not the same but we text a lot and sometimes will just facetime for an hour while we both putter/make dinner/make our cats talk to eachother, etc. That, texting, visiting (which can be fun!) has made it a lot easier.

  14. The organization I work for was planning a conference for this summer, but it has just been postponed until the fall. It is mandatory for all invited employees, and people will be coming from all over the country. Here’s the problem: I am about 6 weeks pregnant. Obviously, not ready to start telling people yet. Assuming everything goes along okay, the newly proposed conference dates put me right on the cusp of travel restrictions — if it’s the earlier date, I’d probably be okay, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to fly anymore for the second date. I already told the coordinator that I prefer the earlier one, but if I say I won’t be able to make it for the other date, people will ask why and I can’t pretend to be taking vacation or anything like that. However, I don’t think it will be looked on favorably if I allow them to schedule this thing and then inform them a few weeks later that I’m not going to be able to go (if they pick the later date). I’m really not sure what to do, other than just hope other people want the earlier date as well…any ideas?

    1. If I were in your situation, I’d talk to the conference coordinator, and tell her about the pregnancy, with the expectation of total confidence. Tell her you are not planning to disclose to the company until [month] but you didn’t feel right about letting them plan a conference for you that you can’t attend.

      Alternatively, you could say, “I have a medical procedure scheduled at for the fall that will impact your ability to travel” It’s a bit of a stretch, so this too is a know your audience thing.

    2. How big is your organization/the conference? If it’s large it’s probably not a big deal. If smaller, you may just have to get a note from your physician saying you can’t travel, if that is indeed the case. Not much the company can do if you are unable to travel and I wouldn’t think they want to venture into discrimination territory by making an issue out of it. I’d say it’s way too far out to worry about now.

    3. Not sure if you’re still reading, but don’t say anything. You’re 6 weeks along. Many people don’t even know they’re pregnant at that point, so no one should give you a hard time for not speaking up.

    4. If I were in your shoes, I’d go with “a medical procedure scheduled in the fall” to say that you absolutely cannot make that date. If someone asks for more details, say you’re not comfortable giving more details on this personal issue yet. Some may guess its pregnancy, or not be sure, but either way, you warned them. I would be very hesitant to reveal a 6-week pregnancy.

  15. I’m pregnant, and since I’m talking money going anon for this. I need a reality check. Is it hormones, or is this something serious (if so- advice?)

    DH took a post-MBA job at a startup with basically no benefits, that is paying him $70k a year. He’s at a startup, was offered a salary of 85k plus a bonus target of around 20k. Instead, he negotiated his comp structure down to a 70k base, with much much higher bonus opportunity and revenue share/equity (the theoretical value of which is ~$140-150k plus equity). We knew when he agreed that the likelihood of his company hitting the targets that would allow him to hit that number low, but DH figured in the long run (2-4 years out), he’d be much happier with the comp as the business grew. He won me over with this logic.

    So, five months later, I get pregnant (this is good for us). Between the two of us, even with him “only” making the base salary, we can get by. But my job (through which we get all our benefits) pays well but has a questionable shelf life as my company is going to be sold soon–and even though I’m well liked, you know how those things go. Plus, baby is on the way, and babies come with their own set of expenses.

    When he took the job, DH and I have talked over and over about the lack of business coming into the startup, and how much risk we’re willing to take on as a family. We agreed that if there was no new business by Jan 2013, he’d start looking elsewhere. There was a trickle of business with “lots more coming” in Dec/January, and he’s stayed on. It’s now almost May, and no business to be found. (it’s all “in the pipeline”)

    DH is so wrapped up in getting this start up off the ground that he’s continuing to back away from our agreement of if the company is still not ACTUALLY SIGNING CLIENTS, he’s got to start looking elsewhere. We are not in dire financial straits, but we ARE setting ourselves back in terms of savings (short- and long- term). We can pay our bills. We can save for retirement, but not as aggressively as we have been able to in the past (and not up to our standards of aggressive retirement savings). We now have a baby on the way. A baby that needs city-priced daycare (more than in-state college tuition, room, and board), college savings of his/her own, plus all the other baby expenses.

    I ran the numbers, and once baby’s in the picture, after all our bills and contributing to my retirement accounts (but not DH’s), we’ll have about $500 a month left over for savings. (we have about 6 months of living expenses saved already). We are both not-quite-30. Baby is due in the fall.

    1a) am I being crazy? is this the time to carpe the startup diem and ride it out? And thank my stars he has SOME salary? How long would you let this play out?
    1b) if yes, how do I keep myself from lying awake with worry?

    2) How best to handle his continued dodging of starting to look elsewhere, even though we’ve talked this through? I know he’s so invested in the company that he’s now wrapped up in thinking the clients are all “just about to sign”– and if they do, wonderful! But I’ve been watching this movie on repeat for a year now…

    1. I should add: of course, the startup could go under any time, in which case he’d have NO job. Alternatively, the market rate for his skill set could get him a job in the $110-$130k range, with benefits like retirement savings, healthcare (we use mine, but it’s lousy), etc. etc.

    2. I’m risk-averse, so I would say: DH needs to get a new job at a company that’s going to be around (and profitable) long-ish term. However, you’re not in control of your DH. You can’t “make” him do anything. If DH has real skills, getting a new job shouldn’t be too difficult, whether he starts looking now or in a year. I think you and DH need to have a serious conversation about your finances and how to divvy up responsibilities. You need to take care of yourself and your baby. Maybe you need to be networking / looking for a new job in the event that you lose your job. Is it possible that DH feels the same anxiety toward your job situation? DH needs to take care of his job, this start-up, and your family. You married a smart, reasonable man who is making the best decision for his family (you and baby included). Maybe you need more reassurance from him; maybe you need him to find a new job. Nagging won’t accomplish anything. I think you would get farthest with DH by discussing how you want your life to look and how you’ll financially cope with baby expenses.
      So, to answer your questions: (1a) you’re not being crazy but you can’t control everything; (1b) you need to talk with him; (2) discuss with him how difficult this is for you, how stressed you are, how you’ve watched this on repeat for so long.
      Congratulations on your baby!!!

    3. This is my background- after finishing his master’s degree in engineering, my husband worked at a start-up for 2.5 years that paid approximately 25k/yr (payment structure was very uncertain) with equity (that ended up being worthless). His market rate should have been around 80k in our low cost of living area. During that time I was- in law school, looking for work, working part time at below my market rate, or working at temp jobs. The start-up went under in January, and we have since both gotten jobs at our market rates raising our total income to approximately $140k/yr.

      Here are my general thoughts-

      1. You have two big problems a. stability of income, and b. healthcare.

      2. Your current actual income is not one of your problems, even in an expensive city, you ought to be able to support a family of three on 80+k a year.

      3. Stability of income- You have six months of living expenses saved up. How long do you anticipate it taking either of you to find a job if you lose your job/the start up goes under? Double that. Will your savings cover it?

      4. Healthcare- As I see it, this is your most serious issue. I suppose you’ll have COBRA available to you if you lose your job.

      5. The start-up- Does your husband really enjoy it? Is he happy and fulfilled there? If so, I would not push him to leave unless you lose your job. Then health coverage is going to be your biggest priority.

      6. The start-up- I promise you, things cannot continue as they have been forever. Eventually it will either start getting customers or go under. I think you’re thinking of things as continuing on the same way forever. If you’re only (!) putting $500 a month into savings, for the baby’s first year or two, it’s really not that big a deal. Also, only putting $500 a month in savings after retirement is not that bad. I know lots of people that would kill to have that much to save every month.

      In sum, I think a lot of what you need to think about moving forward is how happy your husband is in his current position and how much that is worth compared to your financial worries. Quite frankly, I think it sounds like you’re in a great place financially, and that you will continue to be in a great place financially after the baby comes. I don’t think in terms of actual money, you need to be worrying.

      I do think you need to talk with your husband about your employment instability, you’re in a better position than I am to judge how unstable both of your positions are. If his position is likely to disappear at any second, I would push harder for him to look for other work. If it’s not, and he’s happy, I would be happy that he’s happy and not push for anything else.

      1. Agree completely. Also, keep in mind that the market environment for the next 10-15 years is not expected to favor savers. If you have a choice between saving and investing in your earning potential, choose the latter.

        You might encourage your husband to explore other possibilities — for example, talk to a headhunter, or look at other options to see if something strikes his fancy — but it seems like you’re pretty comfortable financially, and you don’t want him to be resentful for years to come if you force him to quit. Do keep him involved in your budgeting process so that he’s aware of the impact that his career choices are having on your family.

      2. So- first, thanks. Second, we’re actually fine on healthcare no matter what. We live in MA, and can just go on a state plan (MA already has the health exchanges in place) if I happen to lose health benefits. It’s more expensive because it isn’t employer-subsidized, but we’ll be fully insured.

        I’m in a pretty high demand field, and I have a long-standing consulting offer from an old boss for “when i’m ready to quit”– it wouldn’t be a full income replacement or anything, but could plug income holes as I’m searching. I could find *a* job in <6 months (or so I'm told/think). It's just a matter of finding something as cushy (ie high pay, high profile, good for the career and family friendly) as I have now. And honestly, I don't see my job magically disappearing, I'm just paranoid because of the rest of our financial situation. If anything, my job itself may disappear and they'll try and make me relocate and/or take another role in the company.

        DH is in a spot where he could get *a* job, but the reason he took this was because it's exactly where he wanted to be post-MBA.

        And, if I lost my job (if), my theoretical plan is to switch to MA insurance ( it's cheaper than sticker price on my employer's plan- just checked!), cut our bills to the bare minimum (eg. change our aggressive pay-down on student loans, possibly apply for a deferral if allowed, etc.), save $2400k/month between daycare and dogwalker expenses, and see how much work I can drum up from my old boss.

        I guess it just makes me grumpy to know that *I* have a backup plan for my theoretical job loss, and DH is still sort of out there in startup land…which could be great if/when thinks take off, and otherwise is just a sort of holding pattern. And whenever we talk about how long to wait this out, we're in agreement…and then the deadlines we set approach and his opinion changes.

    4. No advice, but commiserating. My husband has expressed an interest in changing jobs into something less stable, and while I want to be supportive it worries me. Though I guess no job is actually secure, at will and all. It seems like whenever I feel like I get my finances in order something new comes up. My wise friend, who’s husband recently left a good job to start his own business, said it’s important to set a realistic timeline for how long to try with the new venture (before looking for another job), but she also admitted they extended this. Does your husband love his job or just doesn’t want to “give up”?

      1. No, he likes it. It’s not *his* startup, thank goodness, or he’d be even more invested. He’s the only one there actually salaried, which is nice (the other partners are just bankrolling his salary and other overhead expenses, and any business that comes in goes to them as equity). However, if he left, it’d be another nail in their coffin.

    5. We’ve had some similar conversations in our house. What it comes down to, in my case, is that I’m worried about money but that more money won’t fix my anxiety. Once I was able to figure that out, and communicate it to my spouse, we came up with much better solutions.

      It sounds like you are not in a bad financial place but you need to have more conversations together and touch base more often so you feel less anxious. Take it month by month. Would you feel more comfortable if you both started networking now but didn’t actually start looking?

    6. On the flipside, I want to add that you mentioned you’re both under 30. I just hit 30 and I have several friends/classmates who, after college, went the startup route and are doing really really well. If there is any point in time in which your husband could do the start up thing post-MBA, I would say now(?)before the children require schooling, before there are multiples, and while you are still working.

      Perhaps if it goes well, your husband is well positioned for the future, and if not, well, he’s not too old that you’re screwed.

      Maybe this just my “grass is always greener” thinking, but it also sounds like the start up will either work out or bust as someone mentioned above.

      Congrats and pregnancy!

  16. Hi ladies, some of you may remember me from a little while ago – I’m a junior associate and I received a poor overall rating during my last review (even though I received great ratings and “above class” ratings from multiple partners, a partner who is one of the heads of my group gave me a poor rating which brought down my overall rating). Anyways, I am now searching for a new job and I am wondering if I will ever have to disclose my associate reviews? Another question is if employers check your current salary? Due to my lower rating, I didn’t get my salary bump with my the rest of my class. I think it’s known that my firm is lock step so if future/potential employers can verify my current salary then they will know something is up since I wouldn’t be with others at my level. So the question is whether I should disclose all of this stuff up front (which I really hope is not the solution) or not? TIA!

    1. I think it’s unlikely that anyone will ask about either your reviews or your salary coming from a lockstep firm. They may ask for a reference but a lot of times all firms will say is that the person is currently employed in good standing or something similarly uninformative.

      Good luck! In any event you should be prepared to talk about why you want to leave your current place- I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying that you’ve learned a lot and gotten great experience, but it’s not a perfect fit and you’d like to find somewhere more collegial. IME people are good at reading between the lines that there are toxic personalities.

    2. I just completed a lateral job search coming from a similar place, so I can tell you my experiences.

      On salary, I was asked questions regarding my salary expectations when I interviewed at non lockstep firms and inhouse positions (read positions that would pay less). I had a stock answer re compensation being important but not the most important factor, blah, blah. I interviewed at several lockstep firms and salary only came up in terms of my timeline (was I waiting on a bonus). That shouldn’t come up if you are looking now as opposed to in the midst of bonus season like I was. Finally I had a recruiter ask, but in a “what does your year make at your firm” way, and I was able to respond truthfully, “we are lockstep.”

      On reviews, I did have a couple of interviewers ask what kind of feedback I got in my last review. The great thing is that every firm handles reviews/ranks associates differently, so it’s not as though Firm A is going to ask where you fell on Firm B’s number scale. I found that this questions was really the law firm version of “tell me about your strengths and weaknesses.” Reviews at my old firm were pretty perfunctory (and delivered orally), so they’d be pretty useless to potential employers in any case.

      I found that the best way to make a positive impression on the “why are you looking to move question” was to play up interest in substantive aspects of the new position (I have had wonderful experiences at Firm A, but I really want to gain more exposure into sub specialties x, y, z that are strong here at Firm B). Good luck!

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