Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Estela Batik Floral Blouse
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I love the drama of this batik top from Ulla Johnson. The high, ruffled neckline combined with the bow detail makes it feel just a little extra special while still being work-appropriate.
Pair this with your favorite trousers for a business casual outfit that really leaves an impression.
The top is $270 at Neiman Marcus and comes in sizes 00-16.
Any advice on looking for a legal job in a new market mid career? I am the trailing academic spouse but now getting divorced. I moved to a small market for my husband’s job and do not want to continue to stay here after divorce. I’m a non equity partner with local clients, so don’t have a portable book of any significance, and I assume law firms won’t be interested. I have a top academic (HYS) background, but I understand that really doesn’t matter at this point in my career. I really regret sacrificing so much of my career for his, but what’s done is done. I started my career in Chicago and have family in Boston. I know those are likely very saturated markets, but I really want to be back in a big city. I appreciate any advice, experience, etc.!
*hugs* Do you want to work at a firm, government, in-house? What’s your practice area?
Boring advice: absolutely carpet-bomb Chicago law firms with resumes. You don’t have to move back on a timeline, so you have the luxury of waiting for the right fit. Some law firm will need your expertise and have you on as non-equity partner.
Throw out some resumes in Boston, too. Expect that to be a longer shot: more saturated legal market, fewer ties to the area (you haven’t lived there).
As a lawyer trailing spouse who divorced, I feel your pain. It sucks and I am absolutely convinced that higher-earning spouses should not sacrifice for academic careers. Even if the marriage works, it ends up being a very expensive hobby (comparing what the couple would earn in a big city vs with the academic job in a smaller city).
Where are you admitted to practice? Where can you waive in?
If you’re willing to sacrifice title, you probably could make more money as counsel at a firm in a larger market (especially Chicago, of the two you noted). What’s your goal? If you are driven my the finances, I’d consider looking at bigger firms with this goal in mind. In what area do you practice?
+1. You have a good “story” so-to-speak, and strong academics (which is still helpful), so I definitely think that some big firms would be willing to hire you as Counsel or Senior Counsel.
I would think about reaching out to people you went to law school with in states you are barred in, I’d be happy to help a former classmate in your situation and sometimes that’s the easiest networking because it’s friends/classmates to colleagues.
Hugs and solidarity from a fellow trailing academic spouse with a legal background. I think your prestigious educational background is still relevant, especially in Big Law. Can you work with a recruiter? Reach out to all your old contacts in Chicago?
Of Counsel at a firm– You may be attractive as someone to step in at a senior level on cases that would not have an immediate partnership expectation.
Metro governments.
In-house positions.
Thank you all so much! I practice litigation, with some specialty in healthcare litigation and administrative law. I am admitted in Illinois, Massachusetts, and Wisconsin. I’ve practiced long enough I could waive in anywhere that allows that.
The encouragement helps a lot! It honestly feels so daunting, and my current firm is very clear on messaging you’re only as valuable as your book, so it feels a bit hopeless to look at places where I would be starting over.
I would have approached my career a lot differently in retrospect, but I’m ready for a new chapter.
Definitely throw your resume at firms in Chicago, and be open to the title of counsel. Make that money, girl!
I agree. I am in Chicago and lived in Boston a long time and think Chicago is your future. And it is a great place to live right now. Come.
Agree with letting all of your friends/colleagues/alumni connections know. Agree you have a good CV and story.
Congratulations on your divorce. Now the world is yours.
You will absolutely be an attractive candidate for counsel/senior counsel/ senior attorney roles. I know because I recently did a job search for those roles, with a less appealing resumé than yours, and I had a lot of interest. Consider engaging with a trustworthy recruiter in the markets you are targeting. This is a scenario where, if you find the right one, they can be very valuable and save you time. Also note that some of those roles are off-track but can be put on track if you are demonstrating business generation and meeting other objectives. But you don’t have to want that at this point.
Depending on your finances, look at state level administrative law judge jobs. You usually don’t need expertise in the practice area. The pay is usually low but it’s usually a pretty chill job with very reasonable hours and good work life balance. After my divorce, I needed a couple of years to decompress and focus on myself more than I needed a high paycheck. YMMV. Good luck!
You would be a great pick-up for a boutique in your field. Someone else mentioned of counsel positions, and you’re exactly the situation for which an OC title is a good fit. I think you will be surprised by how well you will be received. Experience, HYS, and we don’t have to pay her as much as a junior partner? Sign us up.
Strong agree on the personally networking / use of a recruiter – your story will be really compelling and women in particular are going to want to help you. I’d reach out to law school classmates, anyone who looks interesting in leadership at the women’s bar association (or equivalent) and any bar groups for your practice area specialty. The Illinois attorney general office, Chicago city government, and in-house at a hospital are either ideas that seem like a good fit for a general litigator with an admin specialty. Don’t count yourself out!!!
Put yourself out there on social media. You likely have contacts from your early career who are in leadership roles now. You just never know who is in a position to lead you to a new job. My friend did just that on Facebook and an old buddy had just been appointed as the head of state agency and hired her.
Some of the discussions yesterday on here about the Lindsay Clancy case were so disheartening and scary. It is such a bad sign for the world when people are so eager, desperate even, to believe conspiracy theories.
I know someone who was friends/coworkers with Lindsay and knew the family. I’ve known about this tragedy for years, and been thinking about these poor people, all of them, since well before this trial came across anyone’s For You page. No one who actually knows these people believes what the grifters on TikTok are trying to sell you.
If you are wondering how people fell into Q Anon, know that you are experiencing the same. Social media thrives on anger, division, and belief that “they” aren’t telling you the truth. Somehow the experts, the people with the information like the defense attorney, are hiding something (for what purpose??) and only this random person on TikTok with the incentive to make you watch their content is asking the real questions. It is BS. You know in your heart it is BS.
This is a real family that experienced unbelievable tragedy. I am trying to have some empathy for people who would rather believe that a man could cause such pain than a woman like any of us was failed so badly by the systems around her. But his remarriage after going through one of the worst things imaginable is not evidence of an evil conspiracy. It is a human doing his best. Is it maybe the most mentally healthy thing? Who of us can say, but also what does mentally healthy even mean after that? I can’t believe there are people judging this man’s choices and life when he has been through most people’s literal worst nightmare and now has to survive.
I beg of you, if you’re one of the people who I saw fall into the well of conspiracy theories yesterday: take this as a sign to get these social media apps off your phone. They are causing real harm, not only to the real people whose worst moments are being served up to the public as entertainment fodder but to your own critical thinking.
It’s just simple voyeurism. It’s so gross.
+1
It’s what people do–why are you surprised by this? It is absolute human nature.
Did I say I was surprised?
Voyeurism and conspiracy theories are two different things, and conspiracy seems to be more and more normalized post-Covid. It can also have real world consequences. I’m thinking of the health care worker who was arrested for illegally accessing Princess Kate’s medical records while she was in the hospital after surgery when the internet had decided she was secretly dead, potentially murdered by William, isn’t it harmless fun to speculate? As if real people aren’t involved, like it’s a soap opera and you’re trying to guess the twist. This being the way people consume media is new, and frightening.
Yes, I don’t think this is just human nature. Real people are always involved and it used to be normal to understand that.
Jfc, you don’t have to think it’s surprising to think it’s appalling behavior.
This is nothing like Q Anon. There was NO Investigation! I wonder why you’re so fixated on defending this man. Covert narcissists are masters at manipulation.
You are exactly who needs to hear the original commentator’s message. I’m sorry you’re not able to yet, but I hope you can extricate yourself before you go any further down the rabbit hole.
I understand not trusting the police or the legal system, but that doesn’t give special insight into the psychology of a stranger. If we don’t trust the investigation process, then the conclusion should be that we just don’t know.
Not OP but I think these conspiracy theories are exactly like QAnon. Life is not a Freida McFadden novel!
Regarding the conspiracy theory: I don’t think her attorney would have to be in on it. She doesn’t remember doing it; she had a history of deteriorating mental health and psychosis; she attempted suicide after; that points straight towards admitting to the actus reus but fighting on mens rea.
+1 I know the Clancy’s. I have experienced PPD. I think it’s a horrid tragedy, and the conspiracies are disgusting.
It’s really disheartening.
And everyone should be concerned about polypharmacy and how shockingly hard it is to do basic med management in anything psychiatric, since people don’t present statically and so much is reported subjective signs and trusted people may not observe and report all symptoms (so it can be vital to have a reliable adult from the home come to all appointments). This is even harder with children and (for different reasons, including comorbidities and existing polypharma) elders. As the oldest daughter dealing with this for family in both sides, it’s exhausting and a long process and often emotionally taxing and unsatisfying. It can also be terrifying, like when you have to lock up the knives and craft supplies and tools but still need to cook dinner and chop veggies. And somehow sleep and go to my job and pray for no emergency calls.
This, and a lot of the providers and even a lot of the studies that underly the field are also subpar even if every symptom is reported.
I’ve gotten the impression from other threads that some people here believe that if someone is severely incapacitated, a magical fairy shows up to watch over and care for them. That fairy is usually just us, but as you say, we have many other responsibilities.
Right! Whenever we discuss who is on the hook for end of life relatives with many needs. People are horrified that it’s family.
I’m with you except I don’t buy her insanity defense.
I don’t know; she was on a med that can cause people to lash out aggressively and remember nothing afterward even in people without underlying mental health conditions. I think there’s a lot of defensiveness and denial about outlier negative effects of meds that benefit a majority.
Have you read about postpartum psychosis? It’s not just another form of depression and it is very rare and the impact can be extreme. I think if people knew more about this condition, they would understand why the insanity defense applies. Unfortunately, most medical professionals receive no training in postpartum psychosis in the US, and some of the indicators are hard to put together and recognize. I believe Lindsay did NOT receive the care she needed. The medical professionals treating her did not even share information or speak to one another, so they all came to different conclusions about what her problems were. The care was in no way coordinated, and medications CAN interact in dangerous ways.
And even if the jury doesn’t accept it, it is certainly in play for her legal team. Mass law in this is more pro-defendant than most other states, so her team is ethically obligated to pursue it. I’m surprised at this, given how many lawyers are purportedly in this board.
I’m not saying her legal team isn’t doing their job, they are. I’m saying I don’t buy it.
People really want to blame other humans ethically! I’m not convinced it’s really that different a phenomenon than when it’s a non-human animal.
Do you know anything about motions in limine regarding third party culprit defenses in MA? No? Then stop it. I know Lindsay’s attorney. I know the prosecutors (they are awful from an awful cruel office.) Just stop it.
If it was only one child, I’d buy it. But not all three.
But based on what? You just have that good a gut instinct for how psychosis works? I think it should be embarrassing to pit what just feels intuitive to you (probably because of unexamined assumptions) against existing expertise.
I was curious about the questions about body temperature, because that was raising the possibility that existing expertise wasn’t fully integrated. But just second guessing the whole concept of psychosis is different.
I don’t think the fact that she killed all 3 automatically makes it not psychosis.
I will say the fact that she strangled the difficult child the most violently makes it hard for me to buy the insanity defense. If it’s psychosis and you’re hearing voices, you kill your kids because you think you’re protecting them. Hurting your hard kid the most makes it seem like she snapped and killed them with rage, which is not psychosis.
Why can’t you be rageful while in psychosis?
I don’t think you should be found not guilty by reason of insanity if you kill your kids in a rage. That isn’t insanity. If you’re hearing voices that tell you to kill them, that’s insane.
But why do you separate the two in your mind? It can be both.
i mean you’re not on the jury (hopefully) so you don’t really have to decide.
Actually, the fact that it was all 3, when of course she will be caught, is why it is more likely it is “insanity”.
Sadly, i have multiple family members with psychotic disorders, including one with postpartum psychosis. Her one and only pregnancy was the trigger for what led to be a lifetime of fluctuating psychotic symptoms. I speak to many families that have had to call the police on their relatives for threatening to hurt their children or spouse. My own father hurt me. It is what it is, and if you have not been affected directly, it can be hard to empathize with.
If only there was a mechanism for someone (or a group of people) to sort through her medical records and hear from everyone with knowledge of the events leading up to this tragedy (guided by someone tasked with advocating for both sides) who could then decide whether she met the criteria for legal insanity under Mass law.
lol we could call it something like a jourr-ey
I agree. I was astonished at the conspiracy theories. People on social media get attention by spreading ideas that are tantalizing and baseless. What our society needs is a better understanding of postpartum psychosis and related indicators. For anyone who wants to learn more, this was an informative interview from the PBS Newshour: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/what-is-postpartum-psychosis-the-condition-at-the-center-of-lindsay-clancys-murder-trial
Thank you for posting this. I was so bothered by those comments yesterday that I was thinking about it in bed last night. It reminded me of a coworker who got sucked into the Alex Jones nonsense early on, and I was quite surprised to see it here.
Or maybe we’re worried about a man potentially framing his wife, who was in the throes of a mental health crisis? In a country that’s more and more hostile to women every day.
The anti-man sentiment is clear on this board. It’s sad when it overrides critical thinking.
I’m just shaking my head.
People need to get out a bit and get off of their screens.
And a lot of women are so brainwashed by the patriarchy they voluntarily subjugate themselves with the hope of being picked and receiving male validation.
That is not it, baby girl.
Oh, it’s totally it. I would argue, though, that it’s less about desiring male validation than taking a chance on the best way to get male protection. If you get a good husband who doesn’t beat you, you just lessened your chances of experiencing male violence, either from him or other men in your life.
I already have a good husband who doesn’t beat me. How is this a bad thing?
Wow what a sad life you must live.
It really seems like some people are projecting from their own negative experiences with men, which they’re also blowing out of proportion. I hope they’re very young. And I do get a true crime voyeurism vibe.
This, exactly. It’s unreal to see this day after day here.
I can’t agree with that – if anything, there’s too much normalization of bad male behavior and little acknowledgement of the reality of male violence against women. That said, I think prying into the grisly details of the Clancy case is gross.
I’m sorry. You’ve been indoctrinated. This case isn’t a verdict on men in general, or women’s place in society as perma-victims. If you are interpreting it that way, you have a bias.
If reading and interpreting statistics like “97-99% of all rapes are committed by men” makes me indoctrinated, then sure, believe whatever you like. My comment is specifically about how many on this board refuse to engage with male violence as a concept (we’ve had plenty of #notallmen around here). I’m not following the Clancy case because I’m not interested in gawking at other people’s tragedies – but if anyone is saying that the husband needs to be investigated, then that will be because it’s so damn common for it to be the man.
This is reminding me of how Rolling Stone made up the UVA rape hoax and so many people, including here, just ate it up.
If you don’t know who poisoned a woman, or if she disappears, sure: start close to her and work your way out. But we know, at least here.
Rolling Stone didn’t make it up. They just failed to fully investigate.
It’s the t. e. radical feminists.
?
Trying to stay out of mod, but the talking points are familiar from a very loud political movement that stigmatizes anyone AMAB.
That’s funny because THAT crowd and the predominant voices here could not seem to be more opposite. Women are either always victims or never possibly victims.
I’m actually pretty anti-man and I still feel like the conspiracy theories are nuts. I don’t think most hetero men pull their weight at home, especially when children are involved. I wouldn’t be shocked to learn PC had an affair or emotionally checked out of the marriage even without a physical affair. But being a bad husband is a far cry from being a murderer. It’s just such a wild leap from “he was a crap husband who should have done more to help his struggling wife” to “he drugged her, murdered his kids, framed her for the murders and attempted to kill her.”
But that didn’t happen. And no one who isn’t themselves crazy thinks it did.
I’m hostile to whatever form of womanhood you’re engaging in. Yuck.
Not to rise to the bait, but as the original poster – the message here is we need more compassion for humans as individuals and less “how can I make this situation fit into some sort of overarching conspiracy” in general. That applies equally to the posters coopting this tragedy for some “women as perma victims” (???) nonsense. You also need to get out of whatever algorithm spiral you’re in and stop dehumanizing people on the internet, as its bleeding into your life in an unhealthy way.
I have really struggled with the shallow and conspiratorial thinking here lately. It’s not just on this issue, but also on things like “everyone in management is incompetent.” Politics are just an echo chamber with lots of stereotypes thrown around easily. I miss the more nuanced discussions of even 5 years ago.
I really think someone was right to credit TikTok
Oh it’s 100% TikTok
If you confirm with person A that you can meet with person B on Tuesday at 10am, do you put that in your calendar or expect the o person A to put it in your calendar?
I assume that the people originating the meeting are going to do the calendar invite, but if I have any question, I ask. Often I go ahead and put a placeholder meeting on my calendar so I know the time is taken.
it depends. is this for work? personal life? is person A your assistant/typically schedule for you?
I put a hold on my calendar but expect A to send the meeting invitation to B and me (if A is B’s assistant) or the whole group (if A is in the meeting l).
If A is an admin or also attending, I generally expect them to send a calendar invite, but it’s less likely if they’re just a random third party. Either way, though, it’s always on me make sure it gets added to my calendar, not anyone else.
OP here and to clarify, A is not an admin or assistant.
Then you manage your own calendar. Any other expectation is high maintenance.
Is “yeah, I can do that – have him send me an invite” appropriate to the situation?
when I’m being petty and/or worried about people dumping admin work on me that’s not mine, I create a calendar event for myself, but don’t send it out. Obviously situation dependent.
Peer to peer, I’d manage my calendar. The exception would be at work where some of the vendors I deal with must use their own video call platform (say Zoom vs. Teams) in which case they always send the invite.
Fwiw I’ve internalized the ‘more junior person or person asking for the call sends the invite’ so I’d be peeved if say I was doing a coffee chat with a college student and they didn’t send the time to hold my calendar.
Do you consider JR to be age or experience? I find a lot of older (white male) colleagues expect me to send a calendar invite when they’re the one asking me for my expertise since I’m the expert.
The person asking for the call should send the invite.
I would not expect a college kid to know that yet.
IDK, I default to “whoever calls the meeting sends the invite,” regardless of formality.
I put a hold on my calendar until the meeting organizer sends an invite
If there is not an obvious invite-sender among you, take the initiative yourself. Just send it and let them redo it if they have a different preference. It’s less back & forth hassle and then no one misses the meeting due to a communication breakdown.
I manage my own calendar and think it is silly to expect someone else to do so. If we have agreed to a time, even if you are being represented by a third party, we have a date.
I hate waiting around for someone else to send an invite. I reply “yes, works for me – will send an invite” and then do so immediately.
There are way too many instances in which all email chain participants agree to a call and then no one schedules a call. I make it clear in the email who should schedule the call. Either I volunteer to do it or I ask (in the email) a particular person to do it.
To the ‘rettes who have taken on home remodeling projects, large or small, how did you pick your GC among competing and comparable bids? I’m a single gal in Chicago who must remodel the primary bathroom in my condo for the second time in a decade, and this is the third major remodeling project I’ve taken on in my decades of home ownership. I feel like I know what to look out for – good communicator, good reviews, insurance and professional licenses in order – but what else should I ask? I’ve narrowed it down to two bids. One GC is a serious person who specializes in bathroom renos and provided a detailed, comprehensive bid, along with insurance and license information at the front-end, and a packet of information about how his company approaches bathroom projects. The other GC is an affable person who lives in my neighborhood, handles a lot of bathroom renos, and provided a less-detailed but comprehensive bid, and I had to request the license and insurance documentation that he later provided. Both stand out because they’ve been responsive to calls and emails, and their communication is professional although affable guy comes across as a bit more informal. Both know that I want the project permitted, and that I’m open to taking the time necessary to make sure the project is done right. I’m stuck, and having been through this before I know that to get it done by the new year I should make a decision soon.
I go with more professional. They will be interacting with others on your behalf.
Being likeable is not an essential quality. You want the person who of by the book and diligent even if they wouldn’t be your first choice to grab a beer with. This is how incompetent people rise to the top.
Have you talked to prior clients of each? Do they both have subs they use consistently and can depend on? If neither of those are deciding points, what does your gut say?
I like formality in professional relationships, so I would go with the first.
+1 – I’d like the organization of having the insurance information up front, we’ve heard of too many horror stories amongst friends of GCs who didn’t think they ‘needed’ certain licenses and it coming back to bite them.
References. Call people who’ve worked with them. The more professional one appeals to me more on your scenario but some people are better at marketing too. Call people who’ve them.
Based on your description, I would pick the first guy.
It eventually backfires on me when I pick someone too close, either physically (they live down the block) or through association (we attend the same church, our kids are in the same class, their spouse works for my company, etc.). The familiarity outside the project itself seems to lend itself to taking advantage of me on work quality, pushing out timelines, and being too lax with my budget. I hate being in the position where I am arguing with my colleague’s husband about shoddy workmanship or bait & switch on materials and have to threaten to withhold payment until they fix it properly, then have to make genial small talk with them at the company cookout the next month.
Sticking with a person where the project is the entire relationship seems to keep things more professional all around.
With contractors you get to pick two of three qualities – cheap, fast or good. Find out which matter to you and which categories the ones you’re considering fit into.
My grandmother gifted me her silk scarf collection. I treasure them. They smell a bit musty from being in storage at her house. What’s the right fix for this — dry cleaners?
I’d start by airing them out, or sticking them in front of an air purifier for a few days. If that doesn’t work a gentle sudsing in something like Soak detergent would almost certainly take care of it. Real silk scarves can definitely handle a gentle hand wash.
I use Soak and love it!
Abigail Goodman on Instagram collects and re-sells Hermes scarves, she has tutorials on her page of her hand washing process. You can definitely hand wash and air dry them at home. When you iron them, make sure not to iron over the edges (especially if they’re rolled like Hermes).
FWIW, I find dry cleaning doesn’t entirely remove musty smells.
Just handwash them in tepid water. You can use Soak or even hair shampoo. Avoid baby shampoo, though. The myth is that it is “gentler” but keep in mind it is gentle on *eyes* and actually rather harsh on hair and fabric.
Silk being a protein fiber, a splash of vinegar in the water will not only help soften the fabric but it will also help absorb musty odors. You can air dry and then press with an iron. If you are concerned about colors bleeding, use synthrapol in the water to prevent any dye that runs from adhering back to the scarf.
Jealous!!!
Thank you all so much, this is extremely helpful to me!
And use a cool iron! It should have settings for the different kinds of material. Silk will melt if the iron is too hot.
I have one free night in NYC and want to see something on Broadway. I’m thinking Chicago, Hadestown or Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. What would you recommend? I’ve seen Hamilton and Les Mis
If you’re looking for a musical, a friend who works on Broadway recommended The Lost Boys.
When I was last in NYC, I sat and chatted at a bar with a producer of The Lost Boys. I don’t like musicals and that one sounds dumb to me but after the chat in which she told me about the show I really wanted to see it.
All my theatre friends are raving about Lost Boys.
I loved the cursed child.
Another option: Operation Mincemeat. Small cast. Historical, funny, affecting. Great if you like British humor. Sit closer as the sound mixing can be funky.
Of the 3 you mentioned, Handestown.
Stupid question, what is the most legitimate way to buy theater tickets in NYC? My husband and I could do a day trip or overnight to NYC (but it isn’t something we actually do) and we love the books we’ve read re Operation Mincemeat.
Not a stupid question at all! There are multiple ways, including some that might land you with counterfeit tickets. These are legit:
– If you’re planning ahead and want to see a specific show that’s in demand, the best way to buy in advance is to go to the show’s website and follow the “buy tickets” link, which usually goes to telecharge or ticketmaster, depending on the theater. (You can also buy in person at the box office if you’re in NYC, which gets rid of the convenience fees.)
– If you’re flexible about which show to see, you can buy same-day or next-day discounted tickets at the TDF booths in Times Square or Lincoln Center.
– The TodayTix app links you to the official ticket sales site when you’re planning ahead, but where it really shines is for same-day lottery and rush tickets. Again, you need to be flexible, but can get real discounts.
Agree with the above!
Also, NOT Broadway.com. The tickets are real, but this website adds a markup.
Cursed child – Tom Felton (Draco in the movies) is amazing as grown up Draco and he’s in the cast until October/November. It’s an amazing show!
Oh, Mary!
Oh Mary is a hoot! I’ve seen it twice and loved it both times.
Hadestown is lovely, and second Operation Mincemeat, too, as good fun.
Oh Mary! was okay, I guess, but it didn’t click with my sense of humor like Mincemeat did.
Hadestown!
My neighbor bought two adjacent lots, one for his house and one for his new massive pool. He also has a collection of expensive vehicles and toys that don’t fit in his driveway or garage and, rather than using all of the available space in front of his two front yards (or building another garage on the second lot), frequently parks in front of my house. Not only that, but he parks right in the middle of my front yard so that instead of being able to easily fit two cars in front of my house, only his car can park there. It’s usually not a big deal, but throughout the week I have people coming to my house that also need to park and can’t fit. Also, the audacity of it enrages me constantly.
I almost never see my neighbor and have only met him a couple of times, so casually seeing him and asking him to move his car doesn’t really work. A note on his car feels too passive aggressive. Considering he has about six empty spots in front of his lots and still insists on parking in front of my house also tells me that he probably doesn’t care about being a good neighbor, so I’m also not sure that a note would even change his behavior. What would you do?
I’m sure this is wildly unpopular but I weaponize city ordinances, by-laws, and permitting. Chances are he’s doing a lot of things wrong and your city can force him to be a little less awful. I don’t believe in trying to reason with selfish people.
Agree. Start with the HOA specs, the local ordinances, the zoning specifications. You’ll find something he’s violating. Run with that.
Always a wonderful idea to get antagonistic with neighbors. Always.
Welcome to the real world where folks have to get antagonistic to get stuff done on the daily! I, too, miss childhood, but we’ve got lives to live and folks to fight to get it done.
If you think that’s the real world, I have news for you. You can still catch more flies with honey.
Catching the flies isn’t always the goal. What am I gonna do with a bunch of flies?
You would do this just because your neighbor is parking (on a public street) in front of your house? Seems like an overreaction and unnecessary escalation to me. YMMV.
At least where I live street parking in front of homes is illegal because there isn’t the necessary fire clearance between driveways & fire hydrants. So yep I would get them ticketed for parking on the street. Store your personal property on your own land.
Well that is a totally different situation. OP said nothing about her neighbor parking illegally or that street parking is not allowed. In most neighborhoods, even in suburbs, you are allowed to park on the street.
The OP makes clear she wants the space for herself, not that it is illegal to park there.
ehhh, even as a city dweller there’s some give & take here. Like, I think my city’s requirement is that you move street parked vehicles every 72 hours; but it’s only enforced following a complaint. I’d never call it in for a neighbor’s car and I don’t move my own car every 72 hrs, if I’m out of town for a long weekend, or just biking a lot while the weather’s nice, etc. (frankly, I wouldn’t call it in for a non neighbors’ car either, until at least a month). But if a neighbor has semi-permanently parked their boat trailer and their RV right in front of my house, so I essentially never get lucky and get the spot I’m hoping for, yeah, I’d feel like I can ask them to not & start calling it in if they leave them there too long. If you want to live by the letter of the law (public streets are public streets and you can park wherever you want); you gotta actually live by the letter (move every 72 hrs). I *wouldn’t* call in non-parking related stuff (it’s after 8am and neighbors trash bins are still in the alley). But yeah, I wouldn’t expect a good relationship with the neighbor if I did this!
More anecdata… In my suburban neighborhood, there is no requirement to move your car every 72 hours.
I’d park in front of his house.
Same.
Absolutely same.
Park in front of his house
I’m sorry but if there are six empty spots why is this an issue? Is he parking in your assigned or deeded parking space or is he just making use of public street parking in front of your house? I’ve lived in places with street parking and just parked as close as possible. I once had neighbors who insisted on parking in front of my house because there was a tree and it stayed shady there. It wasn’t like people couldn’t walk from next door to visit me. I get that sometimes people feel ownership of the space in front of their house but if parking is already tight then saving spots like that it causes problems in the aggregate. If parking isn’t tight it’s not really an issue to walk from next door is it? If this an acute situation, like a disabled person visiting you can ask him to move his car but that’s really a favor I think.
I would ignore it because streets are public and expect my guests to be adults who function in the world and can manage to park one house down if the road in front of me is full.
Same, I think this is a city/suburb issue. I live in a major city and find it laughable that you’d even expect to park in front of your house. My suburban family is always in a tizz the second someone deigns to park in front of their house.
+1. Unless you have dedicated parking spaces and he is taking yours, I would let this go.
Can you call the sheriff or a tow company? In my town parking on someone else’s property is a great way to come back to your car in an impound lot. I’m in the burbs, not the country, so I realize the cultural norms are different.
Sorry, I read this as parking IN your front yard, not in front of it. I’d still be petty and park in front of his house and report every single minor citation you possible can for his construction.
Just ask him to park in front of his own house also that there is room for two cars in front of your house. Knock on his door and make the request. Don’t be emotional or judgy or apologetic. People can be thoughtless.
On public street parking? I’d just park in the closest available spot. If that happens to be in front of his house, so be it. I guess I’m kind of confused about why it enrages you though.
I’m legitimately confused. Why does it matter if he parts in front of your house?
I will answer! I have a neighbor like this. My guests can’t park. Plus, he parks cars so close to my driveway that it’s a pain to get in and out. I once rented an RV and couldn’t park in the driveway because I couldn’t get in and out comfortably. It’s just rude.
OP – park in front of his house.
Why can’t your guests walk a few feet though?
First, they take up all the parking. Second, I have two parents in their mid-80s. Yes, when the weather is nice, they can do it. But when it’s snowing, icy, etc. I have to move my car, let them park in my driveway, and I park down the street. It’s just so rude. Part of the problem is that they own a ton of cars.
The parking at the very edge of my narrow driveway drives me bananas, especially when someone else is parked across the street directly opposite my driveway. Park your cars in your own garage or driveway or in front of your own house. Don’t park opposite a driveway.
My neighbor across the street parks on the street directly across from our driveway. There’s no need to park in that spot. She can fit 4-5 cars in front of her house but this spot has the shortest walk to her front door. It’s challenging to back out of our driveway with her car right there. We’re used to it by now but some of our guests back into our driveway because they don’t want to deal with backing out. We’ve spoken to the neighbor about it. It’s fine for a week or so but then the car appears again. She forgot, she forgot to tell her kid, yada yada. This neighbor is selfish idiot about other things as well but I hold my tongue to keep the peace. Once I had to park across from her driveway. It was funny to see her back in and out a few times in order to get her car out of the driveway, but that didn’t stop her from parking again across from our driveway.
Weird how he wants to park there knowing I leaf blow all my wet grass clippings to the edge and then spray the mud off the sidewalk in front of my house.
is he parking there , or storing cars there? the latter is a problem and would get reported to the city for impound.
What is good to buy at Serena and Lilly that is < $400? I have a gift card and don’t usually shop there. Various household items could use a refresh (bedding, towels, lamps, etc).
I love their bedding. You could probably get a new set of sheets for that amount, if you find a sale you could also get a bed blanket or coverlet.
We are working with a design build firm to remodel our kitchen, but they are looking to us to make the major decisions on cabinet color, backsplash, etc. I’ve interviewed a few “kitchen designers” but they all seen to want to take a much more expansive role than I need- really I just want someone to help me make color decisions. Has anyone worked with an online designer? We have honey oak hardwood floors we will be extending into the kitchen, and I’m considering white upper cabinets with either a darker wood or a sage green lower cabinets. All white is too stark for me, but I worry the green in particular is too trendy (and also really want to make sure I get the right color with the hardwoods).
This seems like a great fit for Maria Killam. I really like her blog in general and I think her advice is super sensible for big reno projects:
https://mariakillam.com/shop/edesign-services/
Play around with color combos on chat gpt. It’s fantastic at helping you visualize thing like this. Also, a design build firm should have a designer on staff to help.
Yes! You can take a photo of the room and it will give you actual brand colors
The lighting in chatgpt products are unrealistic. It’s always this warm glow. When I’ve asked chatgpt to reproduce the photo without changing the lighting, basically so it’s a bit bluer and more natural northern light, the colors combos are not nearly as flattering. The direction of the light in your space makes a huge difference to color!
I have never had this problem.
Ask the firm for a designer recommendation since they don’t have one on staff. And don’t do two different color cabinets unless you want to redo your kitchen in half an hour when the trend passes (which, personally, I think already has).
+1. Green is trendy but will look good 15 years from now if it matches the rest of your house. Two tone cabinets already look silly.
Disagree – if you like the two-tone cabinets and they coordinate with the rest of your house, go for it. I have two-toned white and navy with the same color hardwood floors and still really like the look 3+ years later. I don’t care if they look dated in 15 years…
I did the two-toned thing 15 years ago. Still looks good, imo.
Specifically hoping to hear from Gen X and Xennial women. What are you wearing to work these days? For weekends? Whatever I’m doing, I am not tolerating discomfort of any kind.
Basically a uniform of jeans or wool pants, a sweater or button down and blazer. Weekends, I swap out the work tops for t-shirts during the day and more casual denim.
For work, trousers or jeans with a blouse or sweater. Sometimes a blazer on top. I own one pantsuit that I wear occasionally for more formal meetings. I have a couple of skirts and a shirtdress that I wear during the summer. Weekends, I wear jeans, linen pants, or shorts with more casual tops or sweaters. I also have a couple of casual dresses.
Work: J Crew Gramercy linen pants, tee, blazer or cropped cardigan with black loafers. I have this outfit n 3 colors, lol.
WFH: simple, loose black sleeveless schmatte
Weekends: universal standard dress, beachy black linen pants, tank, denim button down as jacket, denim shorts with graphic tee. Shoes are net Mary Jane’s or tennies
Wow, I guess I really do have a uniform! Haha
Nothing wrong with sticking to what works! I also can’t seem to give up my denim jackets, tanks, and linen pants, fwiw.
Yeah, I live in the Carolina linen trousers from Jcrew, april-October and pair them with silk blouses or liberty print shirts. Tucked in with a belt.
And loose fits—I go up from the fitted size.
Im almost always wearing fun pants and a knit top. At some point i decides that “jeans and a cute top” can be inverted to a simple knit top and interesting pants. Today it’s white linen wide legs and a pink polo knit. I also have a ton of matching shorts sets for summer from varley- inspired athleisure to preppy embroidered versions. Just throw on and go! Toe ring teeks, Mary Jane sneakers and pool birks were about all I wore this summer. Oh and I got a cute heart pendant paracord necklace on Etsy that everyone loves. I wear it layered with the good stuff.
For fall I have my eye on fun casual pants and knit tops. I have those j crew rori pants in both block prints. There are probably some balloon pants and twisted hem jeans in my future. I got some extremely silly floral new balance sneakers that I plan to style with athleisure pants and a button up. I don’t mind looking preppy and mostly wfh but like clothes. Hope it helps. Excited to hear what everyone else is wearing.
Work: Blazer with jeans or comfy trouser looking pant (like from Athleta), shirtdress, or knit dress
Weekend: Casual dress from a place like Old Navy, athletic dress, or t-shirt with skort
For work, most often a sheath type dress with a blazer or cardigan, or maybe slacks or a pencil skirt, basic pumps or flats.
For weekend (summer), usually an athletic dress or denim shorts and a wide-strap tank top, flip flops.
To work:
Structured midi shirt dress
Lightweight blazer, comfortable top, jeans
Short sleeve blouse or sweater and trousers
Weekends:
Loose french terry knit shorts and a tee
Hiking pants and top
Jeans and linen shirt
Talbots striped shirt, Boden pants, Talbots ballet flats. I am boring but comfortable.
Work in office: Printed blouse, trousers from a mall brand, cardigan or coordinating blazer; suit (I still love the ease of suits)
Weekends/evenings: long dresses with coordinating sandals (this is go-to-the-store or dinner out for me – so easy); linen pants from Madewell with a printed linen tee or gauzy shirt from Faherty or Rails and slingback flats or low-profile loafers; jeans from Lucky or Kut from the Cloth or Levis with a graphic tee or a campaign tee plus fashion sneakers
I just try to look like I’m ready for my shift at jcrew.
Don’t forget the third piece!
Has anyone here gone to Elon (small college in NC)? I hear that it’s popular with the waves of students who leave the northeast for college who don’t want a huge SEC school. Is it worth a visit if we are going to be in the area looking at schools?
Yes. It’s a very distinct, special school. Have your student check out the website/videos and see if they’re interested.
“Distinct” and “special” are now giving me pause. Is this code for something? No one describes Davidson like that.
No, it’s just one of a kind. It has a unique student body – there are the early admits for whom Elon was a stretch school academically but they otherwise had the funds and ability to go there, and the it’s also a safety school for northern students who couldn’t get into Vandy/Duke or the Ivies. It’s very friendly and social. There are a number of exceptional programs (they have a hospitality/culinary/restaurant management curriculum that’s pretty interesting) including the performing arts/musical theater. I’d say overall it’s just its own little bubble. The campus is gorgeous. Overall, it’s the kind of school where students either fit with the vibe and love it or they don’t really picture themselves there.
That’s code for “kids of rich Northeast families who didn’t get into actual Ivys”
Didn’t get into Ivies?! Elon is way way way below an ivy!
Most people don’t get into the ivies. Not sure why we are casting aspersions.
Yeah, that is a different tier of school. Elon is more of a “socially adept B student from a social class background where kids go to private liberal arts schools” place.
Correct. I went to Richmond. Most kids applied to and for many it was a toss up between the two.
Rich, white, “special” I guess. Beautiful campus, solid education but my kids won’t be going to either.
I didn’t go to Davidson, but I know several people who did and have heard it described as distinct and special. I don’t think it’s pejorative. Though Elon is definitely on a different (lower) academic level than Davidson.
Davidson is distinct and special, but very small. Wake Forest is another school in the area that’s a bit larger and higher ranked than Elon. All are great small, liberal arts educations for the right kid. All would be very small/monoculture for some kids.
My daughter attended Elon a few years ago. I thought it was a lovely campus with great professors and a lot of fun extracurriculars. Definitely worth a look.
My colleague’s daughter is attending there now and seems to be doing well.
Yes, I’m from PA. The ONE kid from my high school who didn’t get into Penn State went to Elon so do with that what you will…
I mean, 😢 n my area, not all of the kids qualified for Flagship State U will get in. Politically, they have to take from the whole state. And some kids are more SLAC-y and apply where it’s so cheap that they have to go there if they can. And then maybe are relieved they don’t have to go because they didn’t get in. Big mess; what can you do but apply broadly at places you (or your parents’ wallets) might be happy at?
cute school, great professors, SLAC-y energy, has a good bit of grade inflation.
My friend’s kid went a few years ago – kid wanted a small liberal arts college which was not too far from home (in GA). It was relatively popular in my MD hometown, a nice small school that didn’t require Williams or Amherst-level grades and scores.
great school! definitely worth a look
The acceptance rate is like 65%
O feel that Maria von Trapp would approve. Good reusing the brocade curtains vibes.
I’m not feeling it personally, but can see it on someone with Dark Academia vibes
Brocade and batik are rather different fabrics and this print isn’t similar to the SOM print, other than being green.
100!
Maybe that’s why I like it so much!
We need to replace single-pane windows with double pane, not just for energy efficiency but because the old ones have cracks that let bugs in and just generally need replacement. We’re first-time owners as of last month and do not have a general contractor that we know/trust. For windows, do we want to start with a contractor or start with a window supply warehouse/store? I’m not sure of the order of operations here.
I would suggest doing your own research especially if you have a historic home. Vinyl windows are cr4p. I say that as someone whose family owns a modern window company yet owns a historic home with restored windows.
We just did this. You will go through a window company. Some are definitely better than others. You should do some research and get a few estimates. Did this not come up as an issue to be fixed on inspection?
Ha, I wish our market allowed “must replace windows before close.” Not a thing here.
For those suggesting that we do our own research, do you mean for companies or for like, types of windows?
Both. Like understand what you are paying for, etc. I used some recommendations from friends and companies in the “best of” category in our local paper. Several companies did not offer windows in the same style that we currently had, which narrowed tings down for us.
Some companies also offer much better warranties on their windows than others. I have friends with vinyl windows that have started peeling and the company won’t cover it. Some window companies will also cover damage from golf balls or other damage while you still live in the house while others will not.
Bite the bullet and call Anderson. And be ready to spend an arm and a leg.
Anderson or “Renewal by Anderson”? Or are they the same thing?
OP here and one thing I do know from my cursory internet searches so far is that a LOT of locals seem to think Renewal by Anderson is a major scam – massive mark-ups and poor quality. I’m not sure how it differs from Anderson (which is what my parents have) but I’ll definitely do research on that side of things.
We used Renewal by Anderson for our sliding glass door in 2029. They were specifically for homeowners who are replacing/upgrading existing doors and windows. The actual work was done by a subsidiary/franchisee from our area. It was reasonable quality if a bit more expensive than I would have liked.
Anderson Windows proper mostly sells to contractors for new construction, as far as I can tell.
Anderson windows are basically the highest quality on the market.
I got several Andersen (not Renewal) windows put into my old house, but I hired a GC who obtained them through an Andersen authorized rep. A few of them needed adjustments after installation, and the Andersen specialist came over several times to make fixes.
Not the same thing, and avoid either.
I used Renewal by Anderson and do not recommend them. The windows were fine, the installation seemed fine, at first. We were redoing windows in a 1911 home before putting in AC. As such, we still had window units. We could not get the screens back in after taking the window units out after the summer. I don’t know if RbA put them in using a crowbar or if the house shifted or what. However, for the price we paid I expected some help. They sent someone out and he couldn’t them back in either. I followed up with the company and they didn’t seem to know anything about the person they had sent out and just offered to sell me new screens (of the same dimensions as the old ones).
+1 If you don’t know the contractors in the area, you can gamble or you can pay slightly more for the comfort of knowing that you went with a good option. If you don’t like gambling, call Anderson.
You don’t need a general contractor. Marvin windows are some of the best quality — look at their website just to understand the different types of windows, sashes, etc. Then call a few window companies and get three bids. Depending on where you live, windows can end up at about $1k each to replace.
Lots of old wooden windows can be repaired, reglazed, glass replaced, etc. Original windows look beautiful in historic homes.
+1 for Marvin windows.
The comments saying to find a contractor are confusing to me – you need to find a window store/company and they will sell you the windows and do the install. It doesn’t need to be a big/national company (the Anderson recommendations?). When we replaced our old windows we found a (well recommended) local place that barely had a website and they did a fantastic job. We’ve used them again to replace exterior doors. I think with self contained jobs like this you want to find a good local supplier/installer as opposed to a big chain.
You can also find a contractor and then have them order and install the windows.
I would take a beat and call a contractor. Odds are there’s a fix you may be able to implement short term and you may not want to spend all your money initially on windows. I would talk to a contractor about your overall wishes and see if there’s a better way. Zoom up not in.
I recently went to an allergist for the first time as an adult. She almost brought me to tears by validating my feelings about my childhood allergist. She called allergy testing invasive and torture – which is exactly how I felt about it – when done on your back because you can’t see what’s happening or what you’re reacting to. She said she can’t believe some doctors do that to children.
Like, the screaming didn’t alert you about how unpleasant it was? The dozens of welts, many so big they engulfed other welts, didn’t seem like they would be itchy and uncomfortable? My struggle to reach them to itch them didn’t make you think hey maybe we should put some cream on those? No, she’s just a difficult child, always throwing tantrums about nothing. Harumph.
But how else are we supposed to test for allergies? I have gotten it done on both my arm and back, and while it’s not pleasant, I was not in any pain and certainly would not define it as “torture.”
I’m surprised that there wasn’t treatment provided for the reaction? My child recently had allergy testing, which was unpleasant but necessary since we didn’t know the type of allergy and it mattered for treatment. He was given a dose of medicine just as soon as the doctor read the result.
They can take blood. It just costs more.
IDK I’m rich and my allergist did the skin testing. It wasn’t bad, even to my most severe irritants (horses, which I rarely encounter, and other animals). It is nearly instant and I kept taking over the back selfies and they had a mirror to hold. I wonder if the emotional component with a child makes everything worse than it has to be?
I think it depends what we’re allergic to and what kind of reactions we get whether it’s comfortable or even safe.
The different tests are more or less accurate at answering different questions. But there are options.
Blood testing shows “sensitization” to possible allergens but does not definitively show that you will actually react to that allergen. Skin testing is the only way to determine what will cause a reaction. If you get the blood test you will end up with a huge list of potential allergens to avoid, many of which you aren’t actually allergic to.
Blood tests are less sensitive than skin prick testing. And yep, skin prick testing is still awful.
Sometimes I wish I could just sign a liability waiver that releases healthcare from liability for “believing me” (vs. deliberately producing the symptom they’re trying to assess). I know sometimes there’s a big differential to sort out, but other times it really feels like “either you really get this symptom, or you’re full of it, and only making you suffer can distinguish”
The blood tests available to me ~10 years ago were too vague to do more than narrow down between a few broad categories of animal, vegetable, and mineral. Knowing I had a “tree” allergy wasn’t terribly enlightening.
It should be done on the arm, preferably the forearm, so you can see what’s happening. Not the back. It’s invasive to do things to you that you can’t see; it’s basically like blindfolding you.
They should limit the testing to things that are relevant to your life. The 100-point test done on your back is every possible test. In my doctor’s words, you don’t live in Texas so why would we test for plants in TX that don’t exist here? Apparently there are less than 3 dozen that are actually relevant to my geographic area.
They should provide care for the sites after testing is complete. Take an antihistamine and use some Benadryl cream on the sites. Not just send you off with huge itchy welts that you can’t even reach.
Are you from a place where Benadryl was not available OTC? Why wouldn’t your parent provide that care to you? Did you have unusually large arms for a child such that they could have fit the tests on them rather than on your back?
I’m sorry you have such a traumatic memory. Isn’t it more important that the allergist see the test, rather than the child? I can only imagine what it would have been like to pry a recalcitrant child’s arm out of their abdomen to see the results, rather than looking at their back. Would it have been less of an issue if they had mirrors so you could watch?
As someone who doesn’t like to see, I would much rather have it on the back than where I can see it.
A broad spectrum test is no longer SOC. It is borderline malpractice now. But it was SOC in the 90s.
You’re complaining about a form of testing that no reputable allergist does anymore.
It’s still irritating whenever SOC turns out to be borderline malpractice especially without new evidence.
…the SOC in this case changed due to new evidence.
I hear you! So much pain and discomfort is normalized, especially for children. I have major issues with how our approach to “colic” is “just wait it out.” That isn’t how we treat major pain and discomfort in adults (or adult men, anyway).
Yeah there’s no such thing as colic. It’s a pre-scientific category for “we don’t care”
No, it’s a term for “there’s no obvious diagnosis that we can actually address via medication or surgery, and they will outgrow it.”
Doctors are generally not in the habit of advising you to drug a 3 week old without a better reason other than that they’re acting like 20% of other 3 week olds.
Doctors love to think that people just want a pill to make it go away. We want scientific research and an accurate diagnosis, not Victorian handwaving. Underlying causes of “colic” are linked to other diagnoses later in life, so “they will outgrow it” is also dated thinking. Science based healthcare isn’t too much to ask for. 20% of the time doesn’t mean AOK either.
Okay, Janet, go overmedicalize your neonate for no reason.
Can’t wait for their Miralax deficiency to be addressed a few years down the line.
My kid was tested as a toddler about 3-4 years ago, now they do it on the forearm and such a small amount there was no welt, just some redness to the reactive one.
The back is used so kids don’t scratch the test and spread the histamine control around, thereby invalidating the test. Sorry you found it soooo traumatic, but you would’ve found having to redo it over and over more traumatic.
My mother refused to let them do the test on my back. They did it on the backs of my legs and I was lying down the whole time.
I had significant allergies and welts started showing up. My mother had them stop the test because it was obvious what I was allergic to.
Forgive this question from an unsophisticated traveler, but is there any reason to amass frequent flyer points instead of spending them along the way? I have enough points to “pay” for a couple of tickets and I need to take a family trip. I could afford to use cash for the ticket, but it doesn’t seem to make sense to do that if I can essentially get the ticket for free. Am I missing something? I know people amass enormous amounts of points. I get that sometimes that is due to work travel, paid for by others. But outside of that, why not just use points as they are available?
Airlines are constantly devaluing points by requiring more and more for a ticket, so it is like hoarding cash when inflation is high.
There are corners of the internet that gamifies points. And certainly, there is value in knowing what a good redemption rate is so that you do not waste them on an upgrade where you are getting less than a penny a point. But if you have a trip and can get a decent rate, then use them!
Last year I spent 200,000 points to buy two tickets to Tahiti. Some people would have said that I should save them for better value – but I do not let my points drive where or when I go on vacation!
ETA: The Reddit forums for your specific reward program can be a really good resource. If you travel, cashing your points out (or getting a credit toward your credit card bill if they are credit card points) is usually a terrible value (for example, AmEx would let me cash out 100,000 points for $600 but I used those same points to buy a $950 R/T ticket). However, if you do not travel then using them for cash is better than letting them languish.
I don’t fly enough to participate in this game, but if it is anything like credit card points, I would figure out what threshold and possible uses give the most dollar value per point, then decide which of those are things you actually want. Once you get to a level that is acceptable, enjoy the perks!
My credit card points are worth less if I spend under 5,000 at a time, but they don’t become worth more beyond that level. I just cash them out any time I reach 5,000.
By no means an expert but I use my points all the time and as they accrue. I take a bird in hand approach.
Depends on what kind of numbers you’re talking about. Amassing 1 million+ miles is generally not worth it, unless you’re trying to fly an entire family from the US to Asia in business class. Points are devalued over time, so spending them while they’re fresh is considered best practice.
That said, I spend mine pretty much exclusively on longhaul international business class and getting enough for those tickets (even the discounted ones) takes a while, so I do a good bit of saving and often have 200-300k miles in my account.
Late reply, but we always check the cash price of the ticket vs. the miles — what a mile is ‘worth’ varies by carrier and look yours up. For AA, redeeming miles at a value of less than 2 cents per mile (so, 12,500 miles for a $250 flight) feels mediocre to us for regular main cabin seats and so we’ll just pay the cash.
I don’t know the US system, but in Europe you still have to pay flight taxes (normally part of your ticket price) for a points ticket, so not wholly free.
I think there are at least two ways to set aside and spend points that are real perks, even for people who don’t really care about miles or fly a lot. Either saving up to spend on a ticket you wouldn’t otherwise buy, e.g. a longhaul business class trip, or using for spontaneous shorter trips where the cash price would be too much for a last-minute or extra trip, but the miles cost is “prepaid”.
Doubling back on the question from yesterday re: managing partner work – if you do this role, how much do you get paid for it? How does it factor into overall comp?
In my large firm, being a co-chair of the firm is a full time job and the attorneys have to give up their practices to do it. I have no clue what they make but I assume it’s a lot.
Being a managing partner of an office, however, is more like what they were talking about yesterday. There is no direct comp for it but it’s supposed to be considered in unit allocation and bonus pool determinations.
If you bought wheeled camp trunks (there is one from Container store that is popular in our city) for summer camp, have you found them useful later for beach trips or closet storage or college move-ins? I’d love to pitch since they are big but they were expensive and I’d hate to re-need it in another year or two.
Useful. If you need it out, emotionally, send it to Goodwill.
They are good for garage storage and it can be handy to have one under the bed at college to store out-of-season clothing etc., but they are actually not the most efficient thing to pack in your car for college move-ins.
This seems in the category of building your house to host a whole-family Thanksgiving, when the other 364 days a year it’s only two of you who live there.
Potential use for a few hours during college move in is not a good reason to store giant containers for years, not in my book. I’d sell or give them away, though, rather than trashing them.
+1. I would get rid of them.
I don’t have that but I have a trunk in my closet and use it to store off-season shoes, of which I have a lot. I would alternatively use it to store linens. If you have a spot in the bottom of a closet, why not use it there?
Useful, in that I feel like I can never have too many good garage bins. I use them for seasonal storage, keep the prepacked for various outdoor adventures, etc. But that doesn’t mean they’ll be useful *for you*. Give yourself a season and see if you are actually going to use for beach days, camping, etc? If your kid is going to college eg. this year, sure, keep them and see if they want to bring them as dorm under the bed bins. If your kid is in 8th grade and you have no idea if their college is going to be a drive or flight and you’re feeling the clutter…offload them.
The flip side of useful is that you can easily offload them & know they’ll be put to good use – sell them if the $ is important, or just stick them on your local buy- nothing & let someone else be thrilled they got a great find.