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Everlane just refreshed some of their bag offerings, and this new tote looks really promising. I like the smooth, simple leather look, and this burgundy red is a great color. (Am I alone in thinking there's a difference between burgundy and cordovan (which I think of having more brown/caramel tones than burgundy?) Discuss.)
Anyhoo: this bag is an interesting new “bio leather alternative” that is exclusive to Everlane. As they note on their site:
Made with a Bio-Alloy™ and Bio-PU leather alternative from plant-based proteins and an FSC-certified Lenzing™ viscose backing, it’s expertly crafted to feel like “leather”, but with a lower environmental footprint.
The bio-based material is lightweight, delivers superior color vibrance and performance while reducing GHG emissions by over 90% and water use by 83% compared to virgin, chrome-tanned leather. Carry on.
Nice. The tote is $270 at Everlane (where they also have an Italian leather tote for around the same price if you'd prefer that.)
(Random shoutout to the Everlane backpack, which I really like – it feels a lot sleeker somehow than your typical backpack.)
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Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
Josie P
Shopping challenge! My 13 year old is playing a well-off late 19th century gentleman in a play and will need a 3 piece tweed suit (ideally brown). He is 5’8″ and like 115 pounds, so I’m not sure that men’s sizes will be a great fit (a 38 jacket would be HUGE on him, for example). Any ideas? Should I look for vintage stores in our area or something?
anon
If you want to just throw money at the problem, I would check Suit Supply if you have one local. They have plenty of suits that cater to slim, slender men with fun prints. State and Liberty is also another option – it runs tiny.
Senior Attorney
Try Amazon. This one, for example, comes in a 34: https://www.amazon.com/Zeattall-Pieces-Herringbone-Casual-Regular/dp/B082XPMX18/ref=sr_1_9?crid=17KSL3MBME7V3&keywords=men%27s%2Bextra%2Bslim%2Bbrown%2Btweed%2Bsuit&qid=1675798659&sprefix=men%27s%2Bextra%2Bslim%2Bbrown%2Btweed%2Bsuit%2Caps%2C150&sr=8-9&th=1&psc=1
(I searched “men’s extra slim brown tweed suit”)
Anon
Brilliant!
Josie P
ohhh this is great! :)
Senior Attorney
Link in mod but try Amazon.
Anon
Thrift stores. Especially if you have any of the larger ones that are for-profit entities, typically located in old grocery stores (Savers, 2nd Avenue, etc).
Anon
Ask the play’s director or organizer if there are costume shops in your area. In my area, there are several local costume shops that rent costumes for plays or Halloween or themed parties. I have done a ton of community theatre and never had enough money or time, but the person directing or organizing this play should be giving you at least some advice on how to find costumes.
Anon
I would post an ask on a Facebook group for your town, or maybe a buy nothing group. People love to clean out their closets for things like this. eBay is also a good place to try.
Anonymous
eBay. My husband buys tons of vintage suits from there and there is a huge variety of sizes and styles. You’d need to know what size is going to your son first, but most eBay sellers have lots of pictures with measuring tape on the garnet so you know exactly what size you’re getting.
Anonymous
If you have time to get something sent from the UK, a three piece boy’s brown tweed occasionwear suit should be easily available. Size 15 or 16 year old should have his height.
Anon
I have no advice, but where do you buy pants and shorts for him? I’m really struggling for my 5’7 110 lb teen.
Anonymous
Try American Eagle. They carry 26-28 waist pants and 34 inch in-seams.
Anonymous
Does anyone else get an upset stomach around the time of ovulation? I don’t recall it being a thing in my 30s but now in my 40s it’s noticeable. Almost seems like air gets trapped in the system and needs to come out and ends up coming out as an upset stomach. Maybe also because I tend to be backed up it makes things worse? Will mention this at my gyn check up, my PCP kind of shrugged and said yeah ovulation.
Anon
The technical name for this is “mittelschmerz” (literally “middle pain” in German).
Anon
Mittelschmerz is the actual ovulation pain when the egg is released. If I’m reading correctly, she’s talking about an upset tummy. Two different things.
Anonymous
I have IBS and notice more GI symptoms at different points in my cycle, and my stomach is getting more sensitive in my 40s as well. (Suddenly my vitamins upset my stomach?) I tend to notice more gas around ovulation.
Cb
Yep, day 16 of my cycle, around dinner time.
anon
Yup, that became a thing. Sometimes it’s GI distress, sometimes it’s nausea. Or both. Periods are fun in our 40s!
Anon
Not at ovulation but I get diarrhea at the start of my period. A couple of different doctors have told me it’s normal.
Anonymous
Any suggestions for beach front hotels where we could get a room with a balcony say within an hours driving time of West Palm airport? We’re ok spending say 400-500 per night but not like 800 plus a night for the Breakers. Not looking for much other than a quick drive from the airport, a luxury type hotel, a balcony open to the beach as we’re still Covid concerned so it’ll help air out the room plus if we feel unsafe going out much relaxing on the balcony will still feel like a break, plus would like to be in a small town where we can grab take out, walk to the beach etc.
We’d like to go mid March for 3-4 days. Sadly it’s high season but we can be flexible and travel mid week etc.
Anon
Assume you mean Palm Brach Intl airport. Is there a reason you’re wedded to that part of Florida and not Miami, FLL, Naples, 30A etc.? Palm Beach is “fancy” and your money won’t go as far there as it will in other parts of FL. Unless the fanciness is a draw and it sounds like it’s not, I’d go elsewhere.
Anonymous
I’ll take other suggestions to – we’d just like to fly in and out of smaller airports not Miami. So yes I meant PBI. Other suggestions for a nice hotel, short drive from airport, balcony on the beach, and small town for coffee and take out and some walking around?
Anonymous
I have no specific recommendations on hotels, but if you’re willing to transfer instead of take a direct flight, there’s a ton of smaller airports in Florida that would probably have options–Tampa’s airport is pretty easy and the gulf side is nice. Or maybe something near Melbourne airport (close to Melbourne/Indianlantic/Cocoa Beach)? Or something on Amelia Island/Fernandina Beach, though the water won’t be warm in March (the Omni? Ritz Carlton?) (Amelia is about a 45 minute drive from JAX).
Anon
Tampa has direct flights to a decent number of airports. I’m flying there on Saturday without a layover.
AIMS
Look at Delray Beach. I have stayed at Crane’s beach house, which isn’t technically on the beach, just close to (but is beautiful and has lots of outdoor areas and a pool) and otherwise would meet all your needs (and has kitchenettes if you’re not comfortable going out as much), but you can also find actual beach hotels nearby.
Anon
It’s been close to a decade since I’ve been there but I’ve previously really liked the Marriott on Singer Island
Anonymous
I just stayed there over Christmas. Was very nice though seemed a little short-handed.
Senior Attorney
We’re heading out for Vietnam on Friday, with stops including Hanoi, Ha Long Bay, Hoi An, and Ho Chi Minh City. I was there 10 years ago and loved it but I know things must have changed a lot. Any hints and tips? Places to eat? Things to see (tours and activities are generally mapped out but we will have a bit of free time)? General advice/cautionary tales? Thanks in advance!
Also anon
Drink all the coffee, dodge all the motorbikes. Have a fabulous time and please report back. (So…nothing you don’t already know.)
Anon
Where will you be when you have free time?
Senior Attorney
Ho Chi Minh City, mostly.
Anon
If you like cocktails, go to The Alley. It’s a cocktail bar that’s kind of hard to find, as it’s in…an alley. But totally worth it. It’s also near Old Compass Cafe, which is nice for a glass of wine and dinner. I also had a great meal at Quan Bui–their salt and pepper shrimp is amazing! For a great lunch, I’d try Bep Me In and Hoang Cuisine. I assume you already know about the War Remnants Museum–it’s incredibly moving.
Senior Attorney
Awesome, thank you! Yes, have been to the War Remnants Museum and plan to go back with my husband!
Anon
If Minh Hanh still has a shop in HCMC, find time to stop by. The only “couture” I own is a pair of black silk, side zip pants with bands of color at the bottom and embroidery up one leg. I have worn them more times than I can count.. In Hanoi at this time of year, my hotel experienced daily blackouts for an hour or two, so perhaps pack a flashlight or lantern that you might not expect to need in an urban location. I am envious, so much fun and so much good food.
Senior Attorney
Oh, thanks for the reminder. We always mean to pack our headlamps and we always forget!
The black pants sound amazing!
Anon
I also went 10 years ago – I skipped Hoi An and LOVED Da Nang.
Anon
Wow, have an amazing time!
Anon
Buy all the silk pants and blouses. Seriously take an empty bag. Buy the art you’ll see displayed everywhere.
Anon
Go to Da Nang.
Senior Attorney
Thanks just looked at the itinerary and we are, so yay!!
Anon
The breakfast at the Sofitel Metropole is amazing.
Anon
What are your boundaries around your partners watching gardening videos and/or looking at half-naked Instagram models?
Anon
personally i could care less as long as it is very very clear that it is of consenting adults and is being done at a time of day our kids can’t walk in and hear/see
Anonymous
I don’t have any. I don’t have any interest in policing this kind of behavior, but so far it has not been a real problem. I would not hesitate to close the laptop lid and direct his attention to me in the moment.
Colette
I’d be upset if it was contained sexual violence (sex as graphic r*pe scenes), included mock sex with children (ie “barely legal”), if they sent the person money directly or spent lots of money (don’t care if they spend $19 a month paying for access to a site or whatever), engaged in lots of person conversation (beyond an occasional insta like), or spent so much time engaging with this content that it crowded out their other activities.
Otherwise, I do not care at all.
Anon
I don’t care. I assume he does it, I think the vast majority of men do, but it doesn’t bother me and I don’t want to discuss it.
Anon
Same. It would bother me if I knew about it so I don’t want to know about it.
Anon
Same. I don’t want to see it or know about it, I assume it happens but I do not need the details.
I also watch gardening videos when I am self-gardening and it’s not something I want to discuss with my spouse. As long as I am not cheating, I am entitled to my private sexuality and that means he’s also entitled to his; just because we’re spouses and committed to physical fidelity doesn’t mean we aren’t entitled to privacy for our fantasies. I watch videos of things I would never do IRL and I assume it’s the same with him.
anonish
+1
Anon
Don’t care at all about watching videos on sites dedicated to that. For some reason Instagram bothers me much more. I think because it’s more public? Like, if he “liked” a post, someone we know could potentially see it and I would find that extremely embarrassing. We’ve actually talked about this before, and for that reason my husband doesn’t follow any Instagram models – but this post reminded me that I saw a split second of my husband’s Explore page this weekend while we were out and the first picture was a model in a tiny bikini. I did not love it. Curious to see what others think.
Anon
I get models in bikinis on my explore page (and I’m not intentionally looking or “liking” them) so I wouldn’t read much into it.
Anon
+1 I’m a travel (micro) influencer and so I consume primarily travel-related content on Instagram, but my home page is filled with girls in bikinis. Usually they’re on a beautiful beach or a yacht, but still…lots and lots of skimpy bikini shots. You definitely don’t have to be liking p-rn to get this stuff on your feed.
Anon
I think everyone gets those on the explore page. I’m no longer on instagram and got those mixed in with moms of multiples and moms of special needs kids.
My husband uses his real name on instagram so he definitely doesn’t follow anyone that he wouldn’t want a professional contact to know he follows. I have not permitted him to post any photos of me, except one from our wedding where you could not see our faces, posted several months after the fact.
Anon
When I was pregnant ages ago and feeling huge and ugly, my husband called me over to look at something on his computer. He meant to show me a very innocent pic, I can’t even remember what, but he accidentally clicked the back button on his browser and it was a naked woman. That did not go over well!
His friend had sent him the link and he just clicked on it. (He showed me the email because I was so upset!)
From then on the policy has been, if you’re looking at that stuff, I never, ever want to see it or know about it, and I haven’t seen anything since then. Who knows what he’s doing, but I don’t think about it too much.
Anom
I’d prefer not to know. If it interferes with my life or I have to see it, that would be my boundary. It’s not that it should be secretive, but it should remain private.
Anonymous
Have fun and don’t show me
dear reader
+1 It’s not a thing we watch together, but I do not care at all. If one of us is in the mood for gardening but the other isn’t, we’ll go have a solo gardening time in another room (like we’ll explicitly say we’re doing this and it’s fine). I know his involves whatever he looks at on his phone. I would be pretty annoyed if he ever tried to police (or even ask about) what I looked at during my solo gardening times (gardening stories is more my thing), so I show the same respect back to him.
He’s never tried to show me anything but that would annoy me, so I guess that’s a boundary. We’ve been happily married for 13+ years and together for nearly 20 years, and it’s been this way the whole time. Still having together gardening times 3-4 times a week so it’s a good system that works for us.
anon
My partner and I both believe p*rn is wrong, and so our boundaries are the neither of us consume it.
Anon
Same.
My husband used to use it, before we met, and it had some solidly negative repercussions for gardening life (unrealistic standards, wrong ideas about women’s anatomy and response, etc.).
Not interested in shaming people who live differently, just not what we do.
Anonymous
Same, but I’ll add some context as to how we got here. My partner and I are both from a pretty conservative culture and faith and so boundaries of appropriate behavior/attire, especially around our families versus when we are alone. We don’t even show much PDA around family, the culture is that conservative. When this topic came up, I voiced how I felt it was hypocritical for my partner to consume such content but have no respect for the women depicted. He would be angry if someone insulted my honor or called me a slut, what have you, yet felt that sex work should be illegal, etc. – basically how is your demand side of the equation ok but the supply side demonized and immoral? If he’s ok with consuming such content but looks down on those working in the industry, some part of that needs to change. Part of why we’re together is because he was willing to discuss this with me instead of dismiss my concerns.
I think a lot of people would say I’m naive to believe he no longer watches anything, but I trust him.
Anon
I’m not from a conservative culture, but I’m a feminist and a mom of a daughter who is the age of a lot of the subjects, and I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s empowering for women.
My niece got sucked into this after an abusive relationship and it was very, very, very not good for her in any way.
Sybil
I probably watch more gardening videos than he does, so I’m unbothered by that. Instagram pics would just confuse me. My view is generally “does this have a negative impact on our gardening relationship?”
Vicky Austin
Absent financial or interactive aspects, or excessive use generally, my policy is “don’t ask, don’t tell.”
(My FIL follows me on Twitter and I once got shown an NSFW “like” of his, barf; so you never know who can see what.)
Anon
Omg about the FIL
Anon
An attorney who is opposing counsel on several cases of my colleagues has a twitter under his real name that comes up when you google his name and he constantly “likes” p-rn on that account and everyone can see it.
Vicky Austin
At least my FIL uses something of an alias! Yuck.
Anonymous
I know he does it and it bothers me ONLY because he has a very low drive and I have a very high drive. As in I would garden 3x/day but we don’t even garden 3x/month. I feel like he’s “wasting” one of the very few opportunities when he’s in the mood. Also he knows I need to self garden often but he’s very self conscious about his low drive so he never gives me a moment’s peace when I’m home so I can take care of myself. Like, I’ll come onto him, he’s not in the mood, I’ll excuse myself, he’ll follow me to see what I’m doing, I’m like what do you think I’m doing, and then he pouts that he thought we were going to spend time together/take care of that Thing that needs doing/watch our show/etc. And of course I can’t tell him I have a problem with him doing it because I do!
Anon
Have any of you been involved in organizing a home tour/parade of homes for a good cause? Our little town used to do them, but you know how it goes…the organizers couldn’t do it any longer and it died out, and a group of us would like to restart it (and direct the proceeds to some needed community causes). Any advice from the trenches?
Sunflower
Tell the homeowners to remove any small valuables that could be pocketed during the tour. My former HCOL community stopped doing home tours for charity because there were so many thefts.
Anon
Be very strict about NO PHOTOS or FILMING of any kind. As in, get ready to throw people out if you have to. Get all the insurance you can. No heels, no babies, no kids under 12. Take down all the family photos. Have specific paths through the houses (no wandering around, no opening cupboards). Use stanchions. It’s a lot of detail, but it can be fun and rewarding.
Anonymous
I just heard a great tip to clean out your iphone photos: look up this date in the search bar, and then delete what you don’t want. i have thousands of photos and this is making it really non-overwhelming to get rid of the ones I don’t want. if I have a little bit of extra time I go backwards from when I started.
any other easy tips for decluttering either IRL or digitally?
Anon
What? Look up date what?
Vicky Austin
Today’s date; the idea being if you do a little bit every day you’ll have it all pared down eventually.
Anon
In photos?
Vicky Austin
Yes. Like today, you could search “February 7” and then delete things like random screenshots from February 7, 2021, blurry photos from February 7, 2019, etc.
DC Inhouse Counsel
Yup, but don’t include the year. So you’d pull up all photos from February 7th over the past years, do the same tomorrow with February 8th, rinse and repeat.
Anon
Ohhh great tip! Thanks
Senior Attorney
Wow, that’s a great idea! Plus fun to walk down Memory Lane every day!
Cb
I use Slidebox to sort photos. I do it on the plane so I don’t even get ads.
dear reader
+1 I like this!!
Anon
There’s a good app for cleaning up your camera roll. I think it’s called Llama something.
Anon
Has anyone had (or had a kid / sibling with) a Herbst appliance? It’s something to correct an overbite that is implanted into / attached in the mouth. Weighing that vs jaw surgery for a kid who seems to have stopped growing (girl; first period was 2+ years ago; growth has tapered off). I think maybe it works better on kids who are still growing? Jaw surgery seems so major and invasive though.
catlady
I didn’t know what this was but when I googled it and saw the photos I realized that’s what I had as a child! My orthodontist just called it “bars”. I can’t speak to how well it would work after you stop growing because I got mine off when I was 12 or 13. It was pretty annoying to deal with but it fixed my underbite in a year. I would definitely try the hardware before literal jaw surgery, especially for a kid!
Anonymous
I did! It was not fun, but all said, it wasn’t too bad. I had a couple of times where it got stuck open accidentally, but I learned pretty quick how to fix it. It was no worse pain-wise than braces. I was also offered the option of breaking my jaw and I am really glad I didn’t go that route.
Anonononon
I had a big overbite and had teeth removed and wore headgear to get it corrected. I would not characterize it as surgery but maybe I’m so old (41) that there was some sort of surgical intervention that I missed.
I didn’t think it was terrible by any means. I had two teeth removed from my upper jaw using only local novocain. Then I wore headgear at night for like a year? I never had to wear it out of the house so it was not a big deal socially.
I had a huge overbite and this completely resolved it. It made a huge difference in my appearance and my bite. I’d absolutely do it again.
anon
I did around a similar age to your daughter. I had a severe overbite – could fit a finger between my top and bottom teeth thanks to sucking my thumb as a kid with very WASPy genetics. It worked fairly well although I did also use rubber bands for a bit after its removed. Compared to the other orthodontic stuff, it was probably the least annoying and I’d vote to give it a go.
Cora
I was supposed to get one as a kid but flat out refused, especially since it was more for cosmetic reasons than like health ones. As an adult my teeth are perfectly fine and in fact new dentists constantly compliment me on how straight they are.
Re: morning thread I have been decently consistent above wearing my retainers since.
Anon
Not what you asked, but: My stepson had a serious overbite and after years of trying to correct this nonsurgically, a decision was made to proceed surgically. The surgery was a lot. The results were life changing. Before the surgery, people unfairly treated my stepson as unintelligent, based upon stereotypes about how he looked with his mouth always hanging open. After the surgery, people treated him very differently. The surgery was tough, but the entire family (including most importantly, my stepson) is very glad that he had the surgery.
Anon
Favorite European destinations for a September solo trip? This is a rare chance for me to travel without the constraints of my husband and kid’s school calendars, so I’m particularly interested in places that aren’t good to visit in June or early July which is when we normally do our family and couple travel. I’ve been to Italy, Spain, Portugal, France and Iceland in recent years so I’m more interested in other countries for this trip.
Anonymous
I don’t know that it is bad in June and July (I have been there then), but London is a great solontrip, I think, because there is so much to do and going solo you can truly prioritize what you want to see and for how long.
Anon
We went to Slovenia in October and it was gorgeous.
Senior Attorney
We were just talking about Greece the other day, and I’ve been there in September and it was great. Crete, especially! Also I have been pleasantly surprised by the more northern countries — Austria, Germany, Belgium, and the Netherlands.
Anon
OK but Paris isn’t a country. It’s just Paris.
My answer is always Paris.
Senior Attorney
Yeah, Paris on your own would be pretty great. Shopping, sidewalk cafes, museums…
Anon
I have done it solo a couple of times and it was glorious in every way. And it was also great not to have a bored husband getting impatient while I shopped haha
Anon
Greece. London, Heidelberg, Cologne, Switzerland, Austria, Belgium. Almost anywhere.
HFB
Alterations advice? I just bought a new blazer in my usual size from AT. It fits fine and is comfortable buttoned up with my arms at my sides, but when I try to lift my arms forwards ( as if to use a computer keyboard for example) the sleeves in the upper arm are super restrictive and won’t let me. The fabric pulls tight across my bicep area but is slightly baggy underneath. Internet research says this is a problem if the arm holes (armscyes?) being too low or too big (basically creating a tiny batwing in your armpit that hold you arm down sort of like a baby being swaddled, if that makes any sense at all). But when I took it to a tailor he said it’s actually that they are too small and he can’t fix it because there isn’t enough fabric. He barely looked at it though, and based on some other things he said, I am thinking of going to get a second opinion. Thought I’d try here first: have you ever had this issue, and if so, is it fixable? TIA!
Anon
Maybe I’m just lazy but I would return and try a bigger size or another style instead of trying to tailor it.
HFB
Unfortunately it seems I bought the very last one. It’s not on their webpage anymore.
ALT
I would just return the blazer…I’m sure it CAN be fixed but would probably not be cost-efficient to do so.
Senior Attorney
I’d just return it. Life is too short to fight with your clothes.
Vicky Austin
See if Poshmark has the right size; you may not be the only one with this issue.
Anon
It sounds like it’s too small. I’d trust a tailor over internet explanations that might not apply to this exact jacket.
anon
He wouldn’t have had to look at it more than a glance. Ann Taylor typically has no seam allowance (e.g., the fabric on either side of the seam on the interior of the jacket). Even if there was the fabric there, you would see the stitching from the prior seams when he closed or reset the arm pits. That’s why you normally need to buy bigger and take in – the place that’s been stitched will be cut away. Maybe, maybe you could break down the entire jacket and re-do it, but that will be cost ineffective for an Ann Taylor jacket.
Anon
I just had two Ann Taylor jackets taken in with darts in the back and they look great. It was expensive compared to the cost of the jackets but worth it.
Anonymous
It’s too small. He’s right.
Nesprin
Your tailor is right- if there’s no extra fabric that can be cut off and used, then there’s no way to add a panel.
Anon
I had a blazer like this that I stubbornly held onto for years because it was Max Mara and I got a screaming good deal on it. I never wore it because the sleeves were exactly as you describe and it was horribly uncomfortable.
Finally I passed it on, still with tags, to goodwill. Hopefully they won’t throw it out and someone else will be very excited to find a Max Mara blazer new with tags at the thrift store.
Anonymous
This means the jacket isn’t cut right for you. I would return it.
Anon
I would definitely trust the tailor.
anon
I’m looking for a great place to stay in Hilton Head that’s within walking distance of the beach and has a great pool. Kid friendly would be nice but not strictly necessary. Any ideas?
pomme-grenade
Ocean Oak Resort by Hilton Grand Vacation ; we used to go there before COVID and it was just perfect for our toddler daughters and us.
ALT
I just found out we’re getting new headshots taken next week at work. I have gained a lot of weight so my face is fuller than normal, my body is heavier and I feel really unattractive right now. Note: I am NOT saying “heavy is unattractive”, I personally do not feel like I look my best at the weight I currently am.
Any tips on how to look my best in these photos and/or to feel more comfortable with the end result? I have to wear a suit (ugh) in the photos but I have one that fits and I feel somewhat good in. I’m planning on booking a haircut this week so my hair will look nice.
I have never looked at anyone else’s headshot and thought about their weight, but it’s different when it’s your own face, ya know?
Anon
I have gotten “rounder” over the years and have update my head shot. My view is that I want potential clients to know what I actually look like, not some “Glamour Shots” version of myself.
Lean forward slightly, you may need to make sure your chin is down so you don’t have a double chin, unbutton your suit jacket if you’re seated so it doesn’t bunch, but beyond that, think it it as a driver’s license – it’s just to be able to ID you!
Anon
* chin is not down
Vicky Austin
I read somewhere that putting your tongue on the roof of your mouth helps lift your chin, too; maybe you could give that a test drive with some selfies/in the mirror?
Moose
For me, getting my makeup done professionally would be a huge help – doesn’t need to be super glam, but having some do it that knows what will look decent on camera and how to define your features should be confidence-boosting.
Anonymous
Don’t hate me, but this is what makeup contouring is for. Some shading along my jawline and under my chin did wonders for me. Maybe visit a pro and ask them to try. Not all like crazy influencer, more subtle. But a well-lit photo is actually made for this type of makeup.
Anon
This — a pro that does subtle contouring makes sense here to me.
dear reader
Anyone have the NordicTrack with the touchscreen? My big question with the touchscreen/app is: If we don’t like the iFit app and decide to not renew it over time, does that mean the touchscreen is just nothing, or are there still features on it without the iFit app membership? It would be so annoying to me to just have a big blank touchscreen.
Same question for the Peloton – if you don’t have the more expensive All Access membership, is your Peloton touchscreen just blank? I’m assuming the treadmill still works in general and you lose tracking/performance, but is there other data that comes up on the touchscreen.
We have a giant TV in our gym and I use and really like the Peloton app (app membership only) for workouts, so the touchscreen on the equipment for workouts is not hugely important.
Anon
My treadmill came with the ifit app but I never used it beyond the required setup or free trial period (can’t remember which). The screen now has the treadmill stats you would normally see like time and distance. That’s all I use it for; I use my iPad or TV for the Peleton app or Netflix.
dear reader
Perfect – thank you!
Anon
The free lipstick from Lancome that I’ve had since 2015 or so is almost empty. Does anyone really get rid of their make-up, with the exception of mascara that eventually clumps? I was just musing about all the suggestions to replace our bras every few months and to get new make-up fairly often. Seems pretty expensive to me.
Vicky Austin
I have a friend who worked for Victoria’s Secret and once told me that I should replace my bras every six months. I told her, as kindly as I could, that that was not my life. A few months later she sent me a picture of her bra collection she was trying to winnow down (I think it covered most of a twin bed?) and said, “Maybe don’t listen to me.”
I do switch my mascara every few months or so, though, because some of the eye infections you can get after that sound downright nasty. It’s one of the few cosmetics I use daily, so it usually ends up working out that I need a new one anyway.
Anon
I do notice that my bras get stretched out – they’re doing a lot of work on G cup me! – but whether that’s 6 months or not depends on how many bras you have and how often it gets worn. If I only had 1-2 bras, I am sure I’d have to replace them pretty often!
Anonymous
Yeah, UK JJ-cup here, and my bras work hard! I buy quality and hand wash and keep enough that each one can rest, so each one will get worn 30-40 days in a year, on average. They still don’t keep for 5 years (which would be one bra’s equivalent for half a year).
I have no trouble believing that a lower quality bra worn every other day is used up after half a year.
Anon
I have some very old eyeshadows and lipsticks but mascara is one thing I don’t mess around with.I also only spend $10-$15 on a tube.
Anon
I buy new bras and undies around my birthday in the spring and new socks in the fall. At that time I assess and throw out whatever is no longer in good shape. I have a pretty minimal makeup routine and mostly own one (sometimes 2) of each thing. I just replace when it runs out or runs low. I don’t follow any rules, but I will toss something if I haven’t used it in a long time and it’s several years old.
Anon
When my kids were little all the way up to preteens, I bought them new underwear on new years day. “New Year, new underwear, new me!”
Now they’re old enough to choose and buy their own, even if I’m paying for it, but as part of a long-running tradition, everyone gets the (sometimes unwelcome) surprise package of socks and underwear under the Christmas tree. Although now that my older daughter is 22 and paying for most of her own clothes herself, this year she was pretty excited about it! Bombas were a hit all around this year in the sock department.
Smokey
Haha – I stopped doing the same when my then young adult kids said they didn’t want their mother buying them underwear any longer!
Anon
I would probably have gotten rid of the 2015 lipstick in 2016, but that’s because it’s on my lips & saliva adjacent. I also don’t keep old mascara for the same reason – mucus membrane.
I give most liquids and creams a little longer, maybe up to 2 years, but honestly, if I haven’t used it in a year, am I really going to use it? Exception is anything with SPF – if I’m relying on it for sun protection, I want to know that it’s really working and don’t keep more than a year.
But powder products I keep for a long time. Brushes are forever if you take care of them. And anything unopened and stored in a reasonably cool, dry place I will use ages after I bought it.
Anon
In case this tip helps anyone. Sometimes my powder products get kind of a crusty or hard to pick up surface. You can get rid of this, which is caused by very small amounts of moisture on your brush, by using the sticky side of scotch tape and tapping it across the top of the powder. Good as new.
Anonymous
I also ignore most of the advice on regularly tossing makeup. I use a regularly thoroughly cleaned set of makeup tools to apply everything except mascara. Most of my mascaras are minis, and don’t last longer than recommended.
Anon
My mom has powder eyeshadows from the ’80s and ’90s, and a couple even older. Does she use them? Not really. Do they live in her bathroom closet all the same? Yep. Are they fun to look through? Yep :D Did I use them in high school and college? You betcha ha.
There are some colors of lipsticks I rarely use, and I have an entire makeup bag of them. If I only use bright hot pink once or twice a year, I don’t see any reason it can’t live in my bathroom closet for years. Foundation and mascara I toss as needed.
Anonymous
I don’t keep lipsticks that long, the fat goes rancid. Same for a lot of cream based makeup.
Powder blush and highlighter lasts for ever, though.
Anonymous
Is there any easy way to see all of your lipstick and eyeshadow colors in one place? I was thinking of swatching them to white paper. Smart or a waste of time?
Anon
swatch them to the back of your hand and take an iphone pic in natural light. Look at the pic next to your actual hand and adjust the color of the pic as necessary to get it to look the way it looks IRL.
You could just line the lipsticks up with their labels showing in the same pic, same order as your hand swatches.