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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Extra-High-Waisted Stevie Straight Pants

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A woman (bottom half shown) wearing a gray vest, gray pants, and black-and-white loafers

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I think Old Navy is one of the best options for inexpensive work pants these days. Not only do they have a wide selection of cuts and colors, but the size range absolutely can’t be beat. This pair of straight-leg pants has some stretch to it, but it also has a pintuck that gives it a slightly more polished look than your typical yoga pant.

I would pair these with a short-sleeved sweater and some loafers for the rest of the summer and add a sweater blazer when the weather gets a little chillier. 

The pants are on sale for $25 at Old Navy and come in sizes XS-4X in regular, tall, and petite inseams. 

Sales of note for 8/10:

229 Comments

  1. I really wish pants didn’t have to all be high waisted, or god forbid extra high waisted. I hate when pants are on my stomach – I just want them to be on my hip bones. But super low waisted wasn’t good for my body type either. Just give us mid rise! Or options.

    1. For example, on Old Navy right now the rise options are High, Extra High, or Mid. For work pants + Mid rise, all the pants are wide legged. I’m always on the hunt for mid rise straight pants.

      There are tons of high rise pants in every type of leg, so its not just that wide legs are in style or something.

      1. I know, Old Navy has been killing me for years now. I can’t stand it that everything has to be high waisted or extra high waisted. Gap and Athleta are almost as bad. It’s really annoying, since those were some of my favorite places to find decent pants in petite sizes at reasonable prices, especially since I WFH so athleisure is fine most of the time.

    2. People with preferences like yours are the reason I’m hoarding all the high rise pants I can afford! The fastest way for me to hate my body is to see it in low rise and mid rise pants 😂

        1. I disagree, I’m the one of the high rise haters who posted above complaining Old Navy, but there were literally several years in a row that they didn’t have a single pair of non-high rise pants. Other stores weren’t quite as bad, but I didn’t buy pants for several years because it was so hard to find pants that were comfortable for me and I had enough clothes that I wasn’t completely desperate. I’m old enough to know that eventually the fashion pendulum will swing back the other way, but that’s also bad. Extreme rises aren’t that comfortable or flattering on most people and people’s bodies vary enough that giving people some choice is a good thing.

          1. In my DNGAF midlife era, I have come to the conclusion that anything extreme is not it for my stylistic preferences, nor my body type. I look and feel best in classic cuts. I’m tired of fighting it. And I’m REALLY tired of the style pendulum swinging wildly all the time.

        1. The solution is for a store like Old Navy that is anyways selling every possible version of every pant to have a little variety. Like one mid rise straight pant. It’s not pitching rise preferences against each other.

          1. Yes, the reality is that all these rises are relative to our figures. (Midrise is high rise on me since my waist is so short!) So people need options.

      4. +1 for hoarding ultra high rise. Commiserations to the mid-rise people. Places like Uniqlo have done mid-rise for quite a few years now, if you can’t find anything.

        My proportions means that mid-rise hits my hip, not my waist, and I have to get several sizes too big and legs and hips are all oversize in a bad way.

        Low rise works, and I wore them last time round, but now – no thanks. :D

    3. Same. High-waisted pants literally give me stomachaches if I’m sitting for any amount of time. And yes, they fit. There is plenty of give … when I’m standing.

      1. Yeah I realized its really not the size or fit. It’s the pressure on my stomach. Equally fitted pants that lie on my hip bones and not just soft stomach are much more comfortable.

        1. Yes, that’s the frustrating thing! If I size up, they are sloppy all over and don’t look right. Wearing my actual size means that I have a stomachache by 10 a.m.

      2. Me too. It’s a choice between buying pants that are so big they won’t stay up when standing and walking or buying the correct size and them being so painful I have to have them fully unzipped when sitting. Mid rise pants in the same size are fine, just really hard to find right now.

        1. In larger sizes I also don’t like that the pant legs themselves get bigger (as makes sense!) and it doesn’t look good.

    4. My problem with most high-waisted pants is that the high waist falls down to my natural waist, making the crotch drop partway down my thighs and the butt sag. High waists only work well for me in tailored pants that are actually fitted through the waist and hip.

      I never hear others complain about this but I can’t be the only one!

      1. I still have two pair! Grey and navy pinstripe. I haven’t worn them in ages but I can’t give them up.

    6. I loved the era of low-rise, bootcut pants. Especially the pants from Express. That style complimented my body so well. I was in high school and college at the time, and those pants actually made me feel great about my body. Now in the era of high-rise, straight pants (or tapered, god forbid), I live in dresses.

      1. Same. Very short-waisted, high-rise is less than an inch below my bra. At least for jeans, I can find plenty of great Y2K options on eBay for super cheap.

      3. I can get down with midrise trending again, but I really hope true low rise never comes back. I got so sick of seeing everyone’s butt crack when they were sitting down. And yeah, that was at work!

    7. Have you tried the petite high rise in a larger size? That may work for your proportions if your legs aren’t super long.

  2. These pants are a great workhorse. The fabric is thicker than you’d expect from Old Navy with a nice amount of stretch. They are totally secret pajamas.

    2. I have these and I wouldn’t say they are secret pajamas. They’re pretty obvious pajamas. I mainly wear them when I don’t feel well, can’t make myself care but need to go to work. The gray color has a distinct sweatpant quality to them. They’re not nearly soft enough either for something that should be, if nothing else, very comfortable.

      1. Yeah, they look like PJs to me and would definately be for period days. They show every lump even on the models.

        1. Agree. I wear old navy pants to work on the regular that I think look fine, but these look like pajamas even in the photo

  3. How does modern citizen fit and is it for short people? I’m looking at a dress that runs SML and wanting the waist and bust to hit at the right parts on me.

    2. How about: if you are a pear and are between a M and a L, how pear-friendly would a dress that’s fitted at the waist and flares out be? I don’t want the bust area to be huge if I don’t need to go with a L.

    3. I absolutely love this brand. I am a size small or 4-6 in most brands but I order medium in everything at MC. I am 5’6″ and the length of the midi dresses hits me at my upper calf. The Fei, Evie, and Inari (especially the Inari) are my favorites.

  4. Can anyone report on whether Pact’s basics are worth it? I’m right in the middle of two different sizes, which gives me pause. I just want some basic fall tees, preferably in a ribbed fabric that doesn’t cling.

    1. I ordered a few pieces and they were fine, nothing special. They’re not clingy, though.

    2. I hate to say this because I like the styles, but the clothes I’ve bought from Pact haven’t held up at all.

  5. Can anyone recommend a gift card for my niece who recently moved to San Francisco? Mid-twenties, lives with several roommates. She’s a foodie, is into yoga, and she’s on a tight budget. I’d love to support a local business instead of a big chain like Starbucks or Sephora. Thanks!

        1. And they’re hard to get to depending on where you live. OP, I’d just Venmo her some cash. It’s going to be easier to use.

    2. Any idea where she lives in SF? Bi Rite is a personal fave and one of the local fancy grocery stores; $75 or $100 would be a solid gift card there, but if she’s way far away from any location, maybe not a great choice.

    4. She’s on a tight budget – just send her a venmo or cash with the note that she should spend it on whatever she wants. Don’t make a project to use the money.

      1. This. SF is also not a gift card kinda town. It’s a tap pay, use your phone place, so just load up her Venmo.

  6. Crossposting from the moms site:

    Another question/complaint about school apps. My husband and I have a shared email account that routes to both our inboxes and has been a gamechanger for handling life admin, including school- and childcare-related communications. We used the account to make a single, shared login for the school communication app (ParentSquare, in case it matters). My kids’ school is now saying we need to have two separate emails and two separate accounts for the app. I’m annoyed by this, as it defeats the effort to streamline and will inevitably result in direct messages from teachers going to just one of us, plus The Who’s-on-first game of figuring out whether the other one filled out the forms that were uploaded, etc. I also don’t want the school to use my personal email address rather than our shared household one for kid-related purposes.

    My sense is that this requirement is for privacy/safety concerns if parents are or become separated. I’m inclined to say nope, we use this single account for child-related items, and if it’s not possible to associate a single email with two different parents, we’ll just share the login for one. Is that unduly antagonistic? I’m not trying to be a PITA, I’m just annoyed that this is one of four platforms the (screen-free, Montessori) school is using and that our effort to simplify is an issue.

    1. I think schools don’t have a right to make this requirement of you. If you can get away with it, stand your ground.

      1. Yes. I would just… ignore the ask. It sounds like maybe they’re a private school, so sure, they can require anything they want. But if it’s a mass email “all parents must have their own logins”, shrug.

    2. if you have to, can you set up a second shared email account that also routes to both of you? The school doesn’t need to know how that email gets forwarded.

    3. I’m with you on this. Your solution works for you, and they need the pushback that they’re being too inflexible with this policy.

      1. (Or just brush it off and ignore indefinitely if they’re not bringing it up with you one-on-one as others have said!)

    4. I was like this in K and by first grade, I just decided to ignore what I could, figuring that their bandwidth was limited and this would not be a “real problem” once school got going.

      Now I have a kid in 11th and we got dumped back into this at a new school that made two accounts, one for each parent, so now we have two new e-mail addresses with google/gmail logins to keep on top of that were announced to us, unwanted. And they’ve already started to use P1’s address, even though they created a P2 address. Back as the default parent. UGH!

      1. I would set up those Google accounts to automatically forward to your normal email address.

    5. We operate with one account for everything and just sort of ignore any push back. We have three kids across different schools and I also don’t even sign up for most of the specialty accounts. Critical information still seems to find us and I don’t really care if I miss another dress in a super hero shirt day.

    6. Just don’t change it, it’s a database, people aren’t going to check it that closely.

      1. Or make two accounts with the same email and info. You’ll get double alerts but avoid the issue you’re worried about. I’ve never seen a database sophisticated enough to detect this.

        1. That’s…. wow. Concerning for whoever’s making these apps!

          (I believe you that school tech apps don’t check for this, but requiring unique email addresses per account is very, very simple technologically)

          1. Don’t most systems use the e-mail address as a unique identifier for the parent?

    7. Also, assuming it’s a g mail….you can just add a “.” somewhere in the email and it is the same email for example jane.smith@g… is the same as janesmith@g…. but systems recognize the dot as unique. You can verify this on google and test it to confirm

      1. Someone told me this years ago and I spread it to everyone I can. I used it to great effect with online bed bath and beyond coupons.

      3. yes, this is called an email alias. I think this is a the way to go if you absolutely need two email addresses.

    8. If the issue is just that the app won’t let two people share the exact same email address and you use gmail for the shared inbox then there’s an easy trick around it.
      Gmail basically ignores dots and anything after a plus sign. So as far as Gmail is concerned, johnsmith@gmail.com, john.smith@gmail.com, and johnsmith+app@gmail.com are all the exact same inbox. But to the app, they look like completely different accounts. One of you can just sign up with the dot (or the plus), and the other can use usual address. The app will let you both create accounts, and all the confirmation emails and alerts will still go to the shared app.

    9. I hate those class/school apps with an enduring passion because it is *never* just one app or one platform or app or notification set. It’s Snerg for grades, Muddlebix for lunch money, Refty for PTA payments, Hitzty for AP exam payments, and after all that, I’m supposed to Venmo or Zelle the orchestra teacher. And I still get a bunch of emails, plus if it’s actually serious, someone will call my phone.

      Also the same people who talk and post all the livelong day about equity and access never seem to consider that if two parents with five degrees between them can’t understand the platforms, maybe it’s also hard for the single parent with an elementary-level education who does not speak much English.

      2. I agree 100% with everything you say.

        And then some classes/extracurriculars use SignUpGenius or gForms or Doodle or whatever for registrations and payments. It is insane.

        Not to forget about the school pic and year book companies – all have different logins and now everything has 2FA! \screamingintothevoid

        Also, can we please teach some teachers that emails that contain multiple long paragraphs and blocks of text are hard to read? Use concise bullet point lists, for heaven’s sake.

        1. Our daughter’s weekly school newsletter uses white text and light background mid-way through on the mobile version, so if you are reading it on your phone you can’t read half of it. So fun!

        2. You can always read your email on a computer instead of a phone. Not everything in life has to happen on a phone!

        3. Also our high school principal is highly enamored with AI, so the weekly emails are super long and full of graphics. Goddess forbid they update or use the website, call me an old GenX but it would be nice to have one place where all of the information is updated and available.

      3. Totally cosign all of this. I consistently ask for less communication in all of the school surveys.

  7. Does anyone have advice about identifying suitable assisted living facilities for an aging relative? We have finally arrived at the moment when they have accepted this is the right move, and now they want it to happen immediately. I have no idea where to start. Their.preference is- suddenly- to move to Georgia, where I am, but they may need to stay in Virginia to take advantage of financial assistance. We are starting from scratch and I just need to identify suitable facilities in suitable locations. Is there a website? A ratings organization?
    We are not in a place where hiring a geriatric care coordinator (a recommendation I see here often and heed in other situations) is an option.

    3. You are sure they need assisted living (21 meals cookies a week, often no kitchen in apartment, help with meds) vs independent living (10 meals a week, apartments have full kitchens, help with ADLs or meds is limited; they do their own laundry)? That’s a good place to start. Also: where is there a waitlist?

      If they are at the assisted living level, it may make sense to move closer to you.

      Also: get a dumpster for the house and start purging.

      1. That is a helpful distinction that will help our search. Thanks.

        The dumpster thing is . . . a whole issue.

    4. The waitlist to get admitted into good places like this can be considerable. The time to do this is right now so you can get in line.

    5. I’m definitely not an expert, but having observed another family member from a distance: consider a facility that offers a spectrum of care – independent living, assisted living and memory care under one roof. That way if their condition deteriorates further with age you only have to “move them” once. They might move rooms or wings of the facility itself, but it’s all under one roof.

      1. Unfortunately we are working with very limited resources, or at least that is what I am told.

        1. That shouldn’t matter. The new norm is for facilities to be built this way because it’s become such a strong preference, though there were facilities built like this going back 20+ years, so it’s not just the new $$$$$ ones that have it. My husband’s grandfather has very limited resources and is in one of these facilities outside of Atlanta. This is a space where you get what you pay for, and his is really bleak tbh, but all three services – IL, AL and MC – are provided within the same building. His wife was in the MC unit, so he also went to MC to be with her until she passed away. Now he’s back in the AL unit. The costs go up as you go up the acuity scale (IL>AL>MC) and/or add a la carte services within each.

          Truly, the best education will be visiting one on your own or with your relative and getting a tour, which will allow you to get some baseline questions answered. Pricing structures may vary from facility to facility, but at least you’ll be able to understand conceptually how it all works. Think of it like visiting colleges – they’re all different but go see one, rip the bandaid, get a general sense of what this is all about, making you far more informed for the next visit and/or conversation with family.

          1. Yes, these facilities are ideal. Unfortunately, they are not the norm and are often full and may not accept Medicaid beds.

    6. Not quite there yet, but I have heard from several people that A Place for Mom is surprisingly helpful. They take a commission from the facility, so it does not cost you (or the relative) OOP.

      1. We tried to use that when we had to relocate my father to a different city. They only have relationships with certain places, so suitable options may be overlooked. They gave us a list of places, it was not tailored in any way for our needs. We did not find that they added any value beyond us googling.

    7. If Columbus works for you and your relative, look at Spring Harbor – they were pretty good for my relatives (although my info is several years out of date).

      In general, take tours – you’ll at least get a sense of what places are like. For example, one place claimed to have a memory care unit, but it was in the basement and looked straight out of a 1950s psych ward. Another place had on-demand sandwich options if a resident didn’t like the lunch or dinner options.

      1. And try to eat in the “dining hall” if you can. Mealtimes ends up being the most meaningful times of their day.

    8. There are consultants who take commissions from the facilities who will do this leg work for you and help you tour around and work with your budget. It’s very worth it and free to you because of the commission structure. Was invaluable in our situation.

      1. +1

        Yes, you need help. In your situation I would look online for an Elder Care consultant / private case manager or even an elder law attorney in the area you want to look. Hire them.

    9. It’s difficult and most of them will sell you smoke and mirrors. Get everything in writing. Don’t take their word for anything- literally anything. We moved my grandfather into a $$$ self-pay facility and the over promised, under delivered care was astounding. For example, they assured that residents always had an alternative meal- such as a sandwich- available if they didn’t care for the food served that day. This became an immediate issue where they didn’t want to offer the alternative. They also served questionable choices, for example, they’d order thick kettle cooked chips which residents struggled to eat. Even in this well regarded facility, they frequently lied about assisting him with bathing. For example, claiming he was bathed earlier in the day but he’s still wearing two day old clothes and the shower was bone dty. All of that to say, take everything you read with a grain of salt, especially if it’s a glowing review.

      1. Having gone through this with nursing homes versus independent living, you have to be a constant presence. This kind of thing would be why you would want the person living near a support system.

          1. Super realistically, there is no such thing as institutional care for a vulnerable person that you can just walk away from, and be fully certain they’ll be well cared for, with no one outside the institution advocating for them.

            Maybe you can’t or won’t be that person for this relative. But best to be upfront about that, no google reviews or list is going to find you the magic place you’re looking for.

          2. I am not lookimg.for a magic place. Just a place. He may be looking for magic, in the sense that he has requirements and a wholly insufficient budget (not sure of resources, just budget he gave me). I will be around if he can feasibly move to Georgia, but I am not going to be a “constant” presence. There is no one else willing to assist in any way. And a basic Google search indicates the budget will dictate that he will be living at least an hour from me.

      2. I feel this is where a local elder care consultant you pay is really helpful. They know if the place that smells like Lysol and look institutional provides really good care and has low staff turnover and if the charming place with the great sales pitch misses really important stuff. I think it’s really hard to figure this stuff out without someone who has spent a fair amount of time visiting residents of these places.

          1. See above, many of these are free – they work on commission. Does that mean they show you every single place? No, you get the ones they have relationships with but that’s often more than enough.
            Also you can get a set it and forget it place – we managed my FILs memory care from across the country with infrequent visits. It was fine. It’s not feasible for everyone to move.

        2. I was just thinking about the amount of gossip I hear from EMTs (I just happen to know EMTs; I’m sure there are other people who know more).

    10. You indicated they want assisted living options, but I wanted to point out the Medicare Nursing Home Compare webpage which is helpful: https://www.cms.gov/about-cms/what-we-do/nursing-homes/patients-caregivers/finding-nursing-home The second link on this page takes you to a place where you can put in a city or state to find options and information about their health code violations, staffing, and other quality measures. Hope this helps you or someone else

    11. For just getting a list, Google and/or Google maps will get you 90% of the way there

      If I had to pick an assisted living facility based on only one metric (ie. had no ability to go on tours, can’t hire a consultant, didn’t know anyone with personal experience to talk to), I’d pick whoever pays their PCA’s/entry level staff the most.

      1. I agree this would be a good way to choose. Unfortunately, I am certain that the high pay will make those specifically outside the very meager budget. As dictated, there is no facility in either state he could go to. Obviously, that is something that is going to require further inquiry as to true means. And VA has some means-tested subsidies. GA does not.

  8. taking suggestions for as minimally cringy as possible team building/ getting to know you activities (like to be in a conference room, not to go bowling). Thinking 2 or 3 formal activities and then 2-3 just fun games or fillers to get people talking. Small budget (meaning i can buy markets or a few jenga sets but nothing big). would take specific requests or resources…. thanks

    1. Lego creative play ice breakers (google and you should get options). A colleague did them at an event and it was weirdly fun.

      2. This. Pretty much every building challenge has been well received, and leads to so many memories.

        1. +1 for any kind of building challenge. Does not allow socially inept people to claim that you are “requiring personal information,” does force people to interact and work as a team.

    2. I like having people organize themselves into a map. For example, organize themselves in a room based on where they live a city (if they’re all in the same city), where they grew up, where their favorite “third place” is, etc. You can have people move around over time, you can allow people to talk for the first or second map and then not talk for the later ones. All kinds of ways to make it more interesting.

      1. I do this with my soccer teams on the first day of practice—make them line up by date of birth or first name. I think i stole this from southwest boarding—so many strangers talking to each other trying to organize.

      3. I do a variation of this as an icebreaker, where people need to stand in a line. I give different prompts that determine the order, e.g. line up in order of who has worked with the company the shortest vs longest, or in order of how many unread emails you have.

    3. I recently heard of someone using “what’s your go-to coffee order” as an icebreaker, which I liked a lot – fun to see who’s crazy with the venti vanilla latte with 3 pumps of this or 10 pumps of that, plus it gives you clues as to what people like if you ever want to surprise someone with a coffee as a thank-you.

    4. We did a puzzle contest once that was very fun. Split into teams and tried to do the same puzzle fastest. And I’m not normally a puzzle person.

    5. Pass out a sheet of copy paper to each attendee, they have 2 minutes to thoughtfully tear/rip the paper into the state where they are from/were born/visited/ etc name your criteria. Everyone then guesses which state everyone tore and explains why the chose it.

    6. We did get in order of birthday without telling people your actual birthday. That went over well and broke the ice.

    7. One of the most fun and revealing ice breakers I attended was “what is the most memorable live music performance you attended.” No one expected the crankiest person in the office to have been at Woodstock, and it was hilarious to hear what concerts parents had taken their tweens.

    8. My most memorable ice breaker was two truths and a lie. It was so interesting hearing the truths that seemed to weird to be true. I still remember it and it was 10 years go!

    9. My go-to is “tell us a boring fact about yourself.” Somehow it always leads to interesting conversation.

      1. I did one where the first person gives a fact about themselves. “I have an hour+ commute.” If you also have a long commute, you join them. “I am the middle child.” Etc. It turned out I had nothing in common with anyone in that group… It was kind of weird.

    10. Highly recommend 2 truths and a lie. It’s a fun way to find out fun things about colleagues.

      1. I hate doing this in the workplace. Everything I can think of is either incredibly boring or not work appropriate.

  9. I went to college with milk crates and enough clothes to last from August to winter. I had parents with two station wagons my freshman year drop-off and both parents and a sibling along to help. My roommate and I rented a small refrigerator and we bought a carpet remnant selling them at move-in.

    My friends with kids are moving them into dorms this week and I feel bad for the girl moms, especially the ones I know who are neither rich nor crafty. For boys, it’s the same as it always was, no? The girl dorms are like RushTok.

    TBH, if they can keep it cute until finals are over, my hat would be off to them. One thing I don’t do under time stress is housekeeping. Therapeutic purge in between last final & last beer hurrah after each semester.

    1. YMMV. My dorm room was never cleaner than when there was an assignment I didn’t want to work on. We called it ‘productive procrastination.’

      1. I wish I could use that for cleaning. Instead, nothing is calming like a hot-roller set. [I get it now, engaging the parasympathetic nervous system vs letting the sympathetic nervous system run rampant; even now, I need to weed pull in the yard or knit (never cleaning).]

    2. My freshman year roommate insisted on cutesy matching decor. It was all stained and beat up by Thanksgiving. Most students pick a different roommate sophomore year so the coordinated bedspreads are pointless. It’s been several years but IME plenty of college kids opt out of this stuff. It’s a minority with a heavy social media presence that partake.

      1. It does look lovely though. Like checking into a very posh hostel. I could live in a staged house though. I like that sort of coordinated-and-no-clutter look.

    3. Idk how people do it logistically. It’s not like you have room measurements, though I’m sure people try. I feel sorry for whatever poor admin is fielding calls about the width of the window and all the minutiae you would need to know to pull off some of this decor.

      1. There are parent FB groups where they trade photos and measurements of the dorm rooms.

    4. My daughter is at a SLAC. I haven’t seen any of the cutesy matching decor. Both boys and girls seem to bring more furniture/storage accessories than they did when I was in college, but that likely results from the fact that this college provides zero drawers or shelving in most of the rooms. The desks are basically just tables with no drawers or hutches, and there are no dressers or drawers in the closets.

      My daughter’s roommate did bring the entire contents of her high school bedroom–record collection, dozens of paperback books, giant TV–their freshman year. Sophomore year, the same roommate left all of that stuff at home.

    5. Are your friends social media addicts or influencers with daughters attending SEC schools? The chatter on the parents’ group for my kid’s college is more along the lines of “does the college provide linens or do I have to send those?”

    6. My daughter is in her final year at State U. There are certainly some girls who go all in on the decor, but it’s not universal. She herself hauls everything for the entire year (including a mini fridge and a bicycle) in one trip using a midsize sedan.

  10. I’m looking for a nylon tote organizer/insert, probably in a custom size. I see lots of options on Etsy. Any specific seller recommendations?

    1. Not particularly, but know that this will defeat the point of the lightweight nylon bag and add substantial weight to it. I have found I’m better off with pouches for organizing little and loose things.

  11. I bought a sensible small SUV and am losing it to the teen who learned to drive on it and finally, FINALLY has a parking spot as a high school senior. It’s fine — it’s got good safety equipment and is in great shape. I’m happy to get my life back.

    But I need a ride. Everything in fact looks like a RAV these days (except a 2026 RAV, which looks like a CRV). I’m thinking of just buying a fun 10K car of the sort I would have wanted as a teen but could never get (VW Cabrio, some random older car but with a stick shift, etc.). I’m just not excited about anything else (and new cars are so much money). I have a 3 mile commute, on city streets (no highways or fast speeds), and a nasty parking garage situation at work.

    Husband thinks I’m crazy but where I grew up, everyone had kind of beater cars just to go to the trains station lot and back, which this seems similar to.

    1. What kind of your car does your husband think you should get? Is his plan to drive you to/from work? Your plan sounds extremely appropriate and fun for you–go get your fun 10K car!

    2. Not a ‘fun’ ride, but hear me out… what about a secondhand small EV like a Chevy Bolt? Good mileage on city streets, squeezes into street spaces like a charm if parking garage is full or undesirable, if you’re only driving a few miles a day and plug it in every night you don’t even need a special charger.

      1. How are city people dealing with EVs? We are not in so much of a city area that it has chargers and underground garages for charging. It’s more like if you have a driveway or garage, you have to wire up something and the one person who runs a cord across a sidewalk is hated due to the tripping hazard it creates. Overnight charging seems to be the way to go (vs hopping on a spot for an hour in a parking garage and then having to move during the workday), except where that has its own challenges.

    3. I would say it’s time for a used Miata to scratch the “stick shift teenage fantasy car” itch, but the “nasty parking garage” gives me pause. In your shoes I would find a used small Mazda. Many many CX30s are available used with low miles, are mechanically sound, all wheel drive, and are small and easy to park in a “nasty” garage.

      1. Oh, I mistyped. My old garage was nasty (plenty of drunk people peeing as the bars closed). New one is just all striped for compact cars even though modern cars are huge. A Mini would fit. As would a Miata. With a RAV and everyone else’s parking skills, it’s tight. A minivan with sliding doors would be handy, but anything with a big turning radius is no bueno there.

    4. In your position, I would up my budget to about $15k and get an older, low mileage convertible.

    5. If I had your commute, I’d get a nice bike and not deal with the parking or expenses of another car. I’m wfh now, but when i had a similar commute, the ride was a great way to bookend my day, and door to door, was faster than driving.

      1. It would be nice, but it’s not a safe to bike and I find that a computer and gym clothes is enough to throw me off-balance when navigating rain, storm drains, light rail rails, traffic, etc. I’m only a greenway biker these days.

        1. I practiced my route a couple times on weekend mornings before doing it for real, and my bike – an old touring bike with racks, made for hauling far bigger loads than my work computer, lunch and clothes, made all the difference. The times it’s in the shop and I have to ride my road bike, I feel everything you just wrote and it sucks.

      3. I work with a couple people who have them and they love them. Even the taller people don’t mind them (it’s a small car but not a small driver’s seat).

    7. Mini or Miata would be great for this. I’ve driven both, would recommend either. Miata may be easier to find someone to service, though that’s based on relatively old info.

    8. I would totally go for the fun car. I got an EV as mine because I can charge at home, but would probably have gone for a Mini Cooper or VW Golf otherwise.

    9. If you don’t need a bigger car for passengers, dogs, or cargo, you should totally get the fun zippy little car that is easier to park!

      We are sending the sensible small SUV to college with our kid and are replacing it with a RAV4 for the dog. But when our second, smaller car dies it will definitely be replaced with a fun car for my husband to drive to work.

    10. Yes, girl! I just bought my sisters old manual bmw and I LOVE driving it. We also have a fancy larger SUV and a one more vehicle but the old bmw is the one we love. Bonus that there’s no Bluetooth or nav so we just…..drive. (( :

  12. I’d like to not have my phone in the bedroom, but the catch is emergency alerts. I live in CA and we regularly get wildfire alerts and occasionally earthquake alerts (the latter are very time-sensitive – a few seconds of warning to duck and cover). I’m more concerned about wildfires because of where we live and the horror stories from friends and family in recent years – too many horrific experiences of emergent nighttime evacuations. If I put my phone somewhere else entirely, I might miss alerts or if I still hear them, they’ll be blaring for the 30 seconds it would take me to get out of bed and go find the phone in the dark. That seems like it might make false alarms even more disruptive to sleep since I can’t silence them as quickly as I do when it’s on my bedside table.

    Has anyone else figured out a good solution to this? I’m thinking maybe leave the phone in the bedside table drawer (mostly closed) and get an alarm clock so I’m at least not touching my phone first thing every morning to silence the alarm. Then I could still hear necessary alerts but it would be more out of sight, if not out of reach. Thoughts?

      1. I meant to mention that I’ve already done all of that and I’m not getting texts from family/friends during that time, but I still don’t like having it so close because I’m tempted to reach for it even if there’s no alert (sigh). I also don’t like it being the first thing I touch in the mornings.

        3. Use an old phone for this where you’ve deleted all the tempting stuff, if the apps don’t require cell service to work?

      1. Some might be but we use the Watch Duty app for wildfires (which is a private organization). The alerts there are MUCH more timely and there’s a very useful map, so both my husband and I want to keep using it instead of waiting for vague alerts from our sluggish city.

        1. Install the app on either only your husband’s phone or on an old device you have laying around that is used exclusively for that purpose.

    3. For some reason I have the sense that wildfire evacuation notices also come via landline call. You probably know better than I (I’ve lived in CA, but not in any possible evacuation zones), but if that’s the case, can you solve this problem with a landline? Agree that the earthquake situation is more time-sensitive, but I think you’re probably better advised to set up your bedroom so that if an earthquake happens while you’re asleep, you’re very unlikely to have anything fall on you anyway.

      1. AT&T is trying to get rid of the state requirement to offer landlines. And now they’re getting help from the Trump administration to do it

        1. Many are the policies of Brandon Carr’s FCC I disagree with, but they’re right on this one. Safety net landline reqs are a lot of squeeze for very little juice, with goals better served by other technologies

        2. When landlines were copper, and thus operated separately from the power grid, it made sense to have landlines in case of disaster. But now? They need batteries or regular electricity to work. They’ll go down like any other powered item.

    4. I live in CA too and would never let this get in the way of moving my phone elsewhere. You know about wildfires well enough ahead of time, just get Watch Duty and follow that for your area and you’ll be well informed. The earthquake alerts don’t work.

    5. The wildfires and earthquakes feel like a red herring. You wake up 365 days a year. You have wildfire and earthquake alerts X number of days a year, and an even smaller number of those happen overnight. So solve for the 365 and then just deal with “X” on the few nights it happens.

      • Buy and use an alarm clock. Separate the need for an alarm clock from the need for emergency warnings.
      • Put your phone in the other room. If you find that the alerts are going off in the night so often that your sleep is shot to pieces, then solve for that issue. But start out with the simplest solution.
      • Figure out what else you’re going to do first thing in the morning instead of get on your phone. Don’t just say, “I’m not doing this anymore,” add “Instead, I will do this . . .”

      1. They are a red herring, I live in fire country. If you are unlucky enough to have one break out right where you live in the middle of the night, you’re pretty hosed anyway and there will be enough chaos to wake you up. The much more common is it starts where there aren’t structures, but threatens your area and you know this, watch it or proactively evacuate.

        1. Eh, I also live in CA and appreciate both the earthquake warnings and wildfire warnings. My good friend went to bed in Napa one night with no signs that anything was brewing, woke up to someone pounding on the door telling them to evacuate. They got out with only the clothes on their backs.

          I use Do Not Disturb on my iphone and plug it in overnight in my bedroom. My emergency contacts can ring through (which I want) and the shake alerts override Do Not Disturb. I would want wildfire alerts to do the same but I’m not familiar with how those come through (yet.)

          There’s nothing about my phone being plugged in in my bedroom that disturbs my sleep. I’m not sure why people need it in another room for that reason.

    7. I have an old iphone that I keep by the bed as an alarm clock and white noise maker. It has wifi, but no cell service. Could you do something like this, with just the alert apps and no others?

    8. I have an alarm clock and put my phone to charge across the room. It’s been working really well.

    9. I know that an additional Apple product feels like an insane solution for this, but this is something I love about my apple watch. I get the notifications I want, but there’s no world where I would ever be scrolling on the watch.

  13. Related to the not having phone in the bedroom- currently i use it as my alarm clock but would like to get an actual clock. Any suggestions?

    1. Go to Goodwill. This is an item that is VERY well stocked, with good quality stuff, at basically every thrift store. Save an electronic from the dump, and all that!

    2. Switched to a Hatch alternative a few years ago and love it. We have blackout blinds due to streetlight glare so even in summer the gentle glow is a nice way to start the day. Plus, if you stir a little you don’t even have to glance at the time to know you can go back to sleep, if the clock hasn’t even started glowing yet.

    3. I have a Loftie and it’s fine. It is less app-dependent than most other clocks but not totally standalone.

      I want to get my husband the Nanu for Christmas. Totally analog, silent, incredibly overpriced.

      1. I also have a Loftie and I really love it. I’ve never needed to use any app. Maybe there’s some function you’re using and I’m not that’s app-dependent? But to set a basic alarm, and to play colored noise etc., no app or phone is needed at all.

    4. I like my small, simple Bagbybrand wooden clock from Etsy. It’s lasted at least several years now (I have had some from Target that didn’t work for more than a couple months). My other strategy has been to buy from someplace with a good return policy, like LLBean.

    5. I got the simplest Philips sunrise clock. I love it. I feel like I wake up naturally from the light 5 minutes before the alarm actually goes off. It was a game changer for waking easier in the winter.

    1. I also think the “they look like pants but are actually athleisure/pajama-y/elasticized” is a scam. Those pants always, always, always look like what they are: elasticized pants built for comfort. They do not look professional or put together for work, in my opinion.

  16. Any reviews of Ruti? Fabric? Fit? They’re having a sale and I might give into temptation and buy the Go-To Skirt

    1. The clothes are great. Customer service if you need to return something etc. is not. Be sure to check online prices if you’re shopping in the store. Online prices are sometimes lower.

  17. For those of you who are millennial or younger, can you drive a stick shift? I can but I strongly prefer automatic.

    1. Yes. I’m an elder Millennial. I drove a manual as my primary vehicle for about 20 years.

      1. Same! And so sad that they aren’t readily available anymore – at least the little Audi’s I love to drive.

    2. Nope, never learned. My husband, who was born the same year as me but thinks it’s Gen X (he’s not), can drive stick.

      1. This is me too, right down to the mistaken-label GenX husband. He tried to teach me once. Miraculously, we’re still married.

    4. Elder millennial (early ’80s bday) — yes! My beloved ’98 Honda Civic that I drove through law school was a stick shift. My squarely Gen X husband has never driven a stick.

    5. No, I can’t. I understand the idea of how to do it, but have never tried and would only do so in an emergency.

    6. Yes, though I’m definitely rusty. Can also ride a motorcycle. There are plenty of circles where those sorts of skills are required (rural/farming or adjacent)

    7. Nope. Born 1980. My dad and DH will only have standards for their daily drivers.

    8. Mid 80’s millennial. I could/can drive one, but was one of the few in high school/uni amongst my friends. It’s been years now since I drove stick…

      1. OP here and part of the reason my parents bought a stick was so my brother and I could learn to drive with less chance of us letting our friends behind the wheel. As it turns out, several of our best friends also learned to drive stick! They never did get behind our wheel, though. Age 37.

    9. Nope. I’m a city person I walk and train/subway/tube/metro everywhere. I haven’t even been inside a personal vehicle in at least 6 months.

      1. +1 for myself, but my rural xennial friends all learnt to drive stick.

        Not in the US, and where I live you can get a «light» driver’s licence that only allows you to drive automatic. It’s a little bit cheaper to get, and is recommended for people who can’t master stick. Getting a «light» licence will cost 2100 dollars as a minimum, lots of obligatory training and tests.

    10. I can’t, because my parents got rid of their stick shift right before I learned how to drive. They did just get a sporty stick shift, so maybe I’ll ask for lessons in that.

      I’m 31.

    12. Yes, and strongly prefer it. Born in 1990 and learned how when 16, then drove solely sticks until my late 20s. My same-age husband can get by (didn’t learn until he was dating me) but doesn’t like it, and that combined with the declining availability for basic family cars means we just have automatics.

    13. Nope. Tbh while I have my license, I moved to a city for college and never left the urban environment, and don’t have a car. I can’t actually remember the last time I operated a vehicle.

    14. Gen X here. My first car was a manual & I recommend learning it if any of you have friends or family whose car you can learn on. It’s actually kind of fun.

      I moved to San Francisco with my little junky car after college graduation, and using a stick on Nob Hill was a trial by fire. (it’s the rolling backwards for me!)

      1. You haven’t lived until you’ve driven a stick shift in San Francisco! When I moved there I had a manual transmission which was very fun to drive in the flats of the Valley where I lived when I bought it but so hard in SF. Yet I loved that car and I miss that car. (I’m GenX.)

    15. No. My parents can’t either. They lived in a large city and never drove until the 90s and learned on automatic then.

    17. Born 1991, yes. My dad taught me, and I’ve done it enough to stay in practice. Never had a manual as a primary car but it’s nice to have the option when it comes up (usually traveling for me).

    18. Late Gen X/Xennial here. Never had the opportunity to learn. My husband grew up on a farm and can drive stick. My younger sister learned to drive stick in the army.

    19. Born in 78. I had drove a manual 1984 Toyota Tercel from ~2000 to 2005. But… I haven’t driven stick since 2005 and I’m sure I’d be extremely rusty. I also prefer automatic and am not someone who really enjoys driving. I’m curious why you’re asking? It doesn’t feel like a life skill to me, more like the ability to use a slide rule (which I can’t do).

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