Coffee Break: Charge HR Wireless Activity & Heart Rate Tracker

151 Comments

1. I’ve had my Charge HR for a few months and like it ok. Mine doesn’t stay charged as long as advertised but keeping a charger at work and at home has solved that. I can charge it basically whenever it needs it. I also had a sync issue last week (known issue) but I was able to remove it from my phone then add it again and it’s working fine now.

   All that said, I’m finding it fine for now but it’s a bit too big for my tastes. When summer comes I might buy the newest one (Alta) with a metal band so it isn’t as obtrusive once I’m wearing short sleeves. I think the Alta does everything the Charge HR does except track heart rate. I’m not sure how useful I find the HR tracking anyway though.

   1. I just ordered the Alta, specifically for its size (I have tiny wrists so the charge and the new Blaze look ridiculous) and because it was designed to be more fashionable, so I don’t feel silly wearing it with work outfits. I’ve kept my old Flex all this time even though it doesn’t have as many features (although it does have the silent alarm, and with the recent update also tracks sleep automatically – Kat was wrong there) because I can put it into a bracelet band that looks ok at the office.

      1. Oooh, I’ve been having issues with my Charge HR irritating my skin (otherwise I love it, and I just made a sleeve to cover the band) and they offered me a refund. I didn’t know about the alta, but now that I do, I think I will take them up on that refund! Thanks!

         1. Tell me how you were able to get the refund. I’m not 100% in love with my Charge HR because of the same reason (it gets particularly bad when sweaty). I’m lusting after the Alta!

2. Fashion TJ – I apologize in advance!

   I have a “thing” with black tights. I think they look nice with a black dress and black boots – but not much else. There’s something much more fabulous about bare legs and a cream dress or bare legs and black dress and pumps. Once I start getting into colors, the black tights are even more jarring.

   I keep reading about how “nude hosiery” is on it’s way back because of Kate Middleton, among others. But other people still think it’s a no-go.

   What do you all do? Is there anything else? Not a fan of colorful tights, btw.

   1. I mean…if you live in a place with real winter, there are several months of the year when you have to wear tights (not hose) or pants. If you live in a place like California, you can probably get away with bare legs year-round. I think it’s more of a weather question than a fashion question.

   2. I happen to disagree with your assessment of black tights (I love how they look with a winter white pencil skirt and black suede booties) BUT I also like to wear nude hose year round.

      I think nude hose get a bad reputation because if you just grab one of the two available options at the drugstore (what are they, Suntan and Fair?) of course they will be obvious/ill fitting. The reason Duchess Kate’s hose look so lovely is that she purchases very low denier hose that are a very good match for her skin tone.

      1. Yep. Sheer nude hose done right are fine, I think. That’s what I wear when it’s too cold for bare legs and black tights don’t seem right.

         1. +1

   3. I live in PA and feel similarly about black tights. I wear sheer nude hose when I think tights look garish with whatever it is I am wearing. I have a shin-length down coat and can get away with wearing my snow boots to walk from my car to the building in the winter (if I feel like it), so I don’t get cold. Otherwise, I layer up on the top so that the tights vs. hose issue doesn’t make that much of a difference for me over all.

   4. There’s nothing fabulous about bare legs when it is below freezing. It also baffles me that anyone would seriously make maximum fabulousness her wardrobe goal.

   5. ITS way back. No apostrophe! I keep seeing this here and it is driving me MAD!!!!!!

   6. I wear black tights from probably November through March. I wear them with my grey dress, black dresses, red dress, black, grey, teal pencil skirts, etc.

      I don’t wear heels, though, with them, only knee-high boots; I agree that tights look weird with heels.

      I also hate sheer hose and avoid at all costs.

      1. I wear my tights with stacked heel mary janes. I think they look weird with any kind of thin heel or pump, but not stacked or wedges (like suede wedge booties).

   7. I always wear tights or hose with skirts. It’s cold enough for tights 5-6 months a year. During the other months, I’ll wear black or nude for me (fair) sheer hose because they look far better than my ‘pale as Casper the ghost’ legs. Fair sheer hose are easier to throw on than trying to fit light spray tans into my schedule.

      1. I too always wear tights and hose as well except on really hot days. I guess I am old school in not having a problem wearing hose. I like black or patterned tights, fishnets (hubby loves them) and for hose, either sheer beige or black with a low denier.

   8. In cold weather, I will wear dark gray tights if I’m not wearing all black. Otherwise it is black tights with black clothes. I’ll wear hose if I have to, but I personally HATE it, so I’ll switch to bare legs as soon as possible.

3. Recs for a long weekend trip to Nashville, especially restaurants? We especially want to eat all the Southern food but I don’t eat pork so places that are strictly BBQ are probably not good. We’re staying in Music Row near Vanderbilt but will have a car and are happy to travel for good food :)

   1. I haven’t been to the one in Nashville, but you probably will want to try to get into Husk. Look at their current menu (it changes daily) to get an idea of what might be offered. It’s incredibly hard to get into the one in Charleston, and I would assume it is the same way in Nashvegas.

      Generally, the F&W lists are reliable and a good place to start: http://www.foodandwine.com/slideshows/nashville-restaurants

      1. I *loved* the Farm House. I thought Husk was fine, but if you’ve eaten a decent amount of high-end nouveau southern food, I don’t think you’ll be blown away (I was not).

   2. Loveless Cafe, hands down. If you can’t get a seat, you can get an order to go. Is about a 20 minute drive from downtown, but worth it.

      1. (not for breakfast, but for the fried chicken. And the biscuits!)

   3. Yay – I live here! I recommend for good food: Husk, Rolf & Daughters, Fifty First Kitchen, Josephine. For a more casual lunch, definitely try hot chicken at Hattie B’s or some amazing sandwiches at Fido. If you have a car and are here when the weather is nice, I definitely recommend driving to downtown Franklin for one afternoon – there are some great restaurants there as well. I admit I don’t get the hype over Loveless Cafe but I’m not a breakfast food person – if you are, definitely try that or Pancake Pantry.

   4. Most of the new great restaurants are in either Germantown or East Nashville. In general, my favs are: Husk, Rolf & Daughters, Adele, Josephine, City House, and Urban Grub.

      Agree with FP’s rec of Hattie B’s. Fido is probably easier for breakfast than Pancake Pantry, which always has a line you will need to wait in.

      If you go to Franklin, I recommend Gray’s on Main, Puckett’s or Puckett’s Boathouse, Red Pony, Cork & Cow, or 55 South.

      1. Another Nashvillian here — I absolutely love Rolf & Daughters. If you go that route, get reservations, but if you call and can’t get a reservation, you can walk in and still get seated — we’ve done that with success (although admittedly we went a little earlier than we normally would have — say 5:30 to 6 p.m.). Agree with Fido for breakfast – CIA trained chef there (or used to be, anyway) and the food is delicious. That’s in Hillsboro Village, which is adjacent to Vanderbilt. I’ve heard good things about Biscuit Love in the Gulch, but haven’t been there yet. Pancake Pantry is fine, but it’s just pancakes, and in my view, not worth the wait in line. When we go, we go before 7:30 a.m. and generally get in with no wait; if you’re there after 7:30, you’re waiting. Urban Grub is good, but so crowded and crazy. The neighborhood is pretty interesting — lots of cute shops, a Jeni’s ice cream, a Las Paletas (delicious and unique popsicles) and Reese Witherspoon’s new store, Draper James. That neighborhood is called 12 South. It would be a very easy drive or Uber from where you’re staying.

4. For those of you who eat meat is it a conscious decision? Are you aware of the health, environmental, and ethical concerns? Is it because that’s how it’s ‘always’ been? Because you don’t know how to cook without it? Do you take positive steps like meatless Mondays? I’ll start with my story. The first time I met a vegetarian I was in 5th grade, she was not very healthy and I was perplexed. Come highschool I went to the most highly regarded science school in the major city I’m from. I met a bunch of vegans and vegetarians, they showed me all the literature and in 9th grade I became a vegetarian, now I’m primarily vegan. As an adult I’m very proud of teenage me and my enthusiasms for science.

   1. Um, gold star? Is that what you’re looking for?

      1. +1 – That would be my guess, based on the self-congratulatory bias in the questions.

         I eat meat because I’m a omnivorous being and my digestive system works well to extract nutrients from muscular proteins. My extended family has been farmers (raising beef and chickens) as well as hunters (deer, elk), so we’re intimately familiar with what goes into raising food and processing food.

         Did you HS friends only show you literature in favor of being vegetarian (selective bias), or did any of the literature represent the benefits of a n0n-vegetarian diet.

   2. I grew up eating meat and generally enjoy eating it. I also can’t eat a lot of things – beans, lentils, nuts, larger portions of some veggies. I mostly eat chicken, though occasionally will have the splurge of a good steak or fancy burger. Eating meat is an easy and filling way to get the protein I need while still consuming something I like.

   3. I eat meat (mostly poultry and fish with some beef; no pork). I am aware of the environmental and ethical concerns, although I think the ethical concerns can be somewhat alleviated by buying organic and non-factory farm products and not buying products that involve animal cruelty (foie gras, veal, etc.). I disagree that there are “health concerns” with eating meat. Maybe for some people who live on bacon and steak, but I primarily eat lean meat and a typical meat meal for me is usually pretty healthy – usually a grilled or baked lean meat with a side of vegetables. In contrast, all the “vegetarian” food I eat is carb heavy and also tends to involve richer cream-based sauces. That’s not to say I never eat fried chicken, but overall my meat-based meals are far healthier than my vegetarian meals. Ultimately my #1 priority is my own health, which is why I have not given up meat. I do try to restrict my red meat consumption for health reasons.

   4. Yay for you? Have fun being so smug.

      I eat meat because it tastes good, it is convenient, it is part of my culture, and it is a healthy source of protein in my diet.

      I am not ignorant of the implications of this choice. I know how to cook without meat and do it often.

      Posts like yours are what give vegans a bad name. Also grown ups don’t usually brag about how good of a high school they went to.

      1. +1

   5. I consciously choose to eat meat because I like it. End of story.
      I’m also lazy and don’t want to plan my meals to make sure I get enough protein. Some days I don’t eat any meat because it is easier (like when a frozen/prepackaged meal I purchased is vegetarian and I picked it accidentally or because I like the flavor), but it’s not a conscious choice to avoid meat.

      Now do I understand those concerns and try to address them in other ways when available, sure. But not in a way that would meet your standards.

   6. I grew up vegetarian in South India. After I came to the US, I started eating a little meat, partially for health reasons (I’m type 2 diabetic and allergic to soy) and because it makes eating out a lot easier.

      I’m perfectly aware of the issues regarding meat; I choose, as I’m able, to eat limited quantities and stick to grass-fed organic where I can. Sometimes that’s not an option, like in India, so I don’t eat meat when I’m there.

      I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you didn’t mean to, but your tone comes off as rather sanctimonious. Out of curiosity, do you also try and fight for better conditions for the workers who harvest the food we eat, and for access to fresh produce for people who live in low-income neighbourhoods and food deserts? Or for people in developing countries who’re priced out of the staple foods in their region because quinoa is the new rich white western health nut craze? I apologise if I come across as harsh, but I think that it’s an unfortunate tendency in Western vegan circles to think that just because they don’t eat meat they’re somehow better than everyone else who does. Personally, I’m more interested in the welfare of my fellow human beings.

      1. I do, I work in government policy addressing food deserts, zoning problems and poverty related nutrition probelms.

   7. It is probably not possible for me to care less about this.

      1. +500 Someone so eloquently said the other day, a lot more things are going to kill me first. I’ll keep eating meat, thanks.

         Oh, and I also eat it because people like you are in love with their choices and project judgment about mine.

   8. I was a vegetarian for 15 years and then I realized I just didn’t care anymore.

   9. Shut up troll.

   10. I JUST had this conversation with a vegetarian friend yesterday. I’m also vegetarian.

       I find most vegetarians to be SO sanctimonious, because similar to my pro-choice feelings, I basically don’t think it’s my place to tell anyone else how to live their life, unlike so many other people.

       Don’t judge me and ask questions like “oooh, but where do you get your protein?”, or “don’t you miss it”, because the answers is “beans/lentils/tofu/tempeh/seitan, etc”, and “no, I don’t miss it, I haven’t had meat in 10 years”.

       Similarly, I will not, and do not, judge you for having 15 pieces of bacon for breakfast. Whatever, it’s your body, eat what you want.

       So, I don’t care at ALL whether other people eat meat. I choose not to, but you do you, and I’ll do me.

       1. This is a great comment. It made me think of the friendship between Scalia and Ginsburg…if they can be civil and friends, can’t omnivores and vegans/veggies get along?

          1. Article about Scalia and Ginsburg http://www.vox.com/2016/2/14/10990156/scalia-ginsburg-friends

             Also see David Axelrod’s CNN piece about Scalia’s recommendation to Alexrod that Obama nominate Kagan. http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/14/opinions/david-axelrod-surprise-request-from-justice-scalia/

   11. I’ve been a vegetarian since high school, too, but I could not give less of a d-mn about what other people put on their plates. It was not much fun hearing sanctimonious people tell me that I would be unhealthy, couldn’t get enough protein, should “eat just a little meat,” etc.; I have no desire to inflict that on meat-eaters.

   12. I do care about this issue, but this post is SO self-congratulatory that I just can’t take it seriously. People do use their brains and still eat meat. Can’t even be bothered to type out a better response to this right now.

   13. What about plants? Do their lives not matter?

       1. Major fail here. Squandered a perfect opportunity to use the word fruitarian.

          1. +100. Thank you.

          2. So these carrots…?

             Were murdered, yes.

             1. Can’t we just give peas a chance?

   14. Yay! I love my FITBIT, but it ONLEY lasts a week b/f I have to SYNK to my MACBOOK! I MUST remember to track my steps daily tho b/c DAD wants to see daily updates to the step’s! FOOEY b/c dad knows exactley when I work out so I cannot give to Myrna or the dog walker to do it for me!

       As for the OP, I am a CARNIVORE and love it! I eat alot of meat to stay healthy, and that is why I can NOT marry Myrna’s Freind’s Freind, b/c he is NOT a meat eater. He like’s COTTAGE CHEEZE! FOOEY! But worst yet, he prefer’s DAIRY to Meat.. When he came over, he kept talking about Swiss Cheeze, and Havarty Cheeze and Munster Cheeze. He ate meat at the DELI b/c I liked meat, but he said that he eat’s meat ONLEY when he goe’s home for Thanksgiving, when he eat’s turkey and does NOT like turkey or anything else but CHEEZE! He also likes fish, which I can stomack mabye 1x a week, but he eat’s fish alot! TRIPEL FOOEY! I think he may even smell a littel like a fish tank!

       I can NOT marry a man who will not eat meat and smells like a fish tank. I hope I am NOT to picky but my life is important to me. YAY!!!

   15. I eat meat because I love meat. My dad comes from generations of cattle ranchers so I’m well aware of what goes into raising cattle. I’m not an alarmist at all and tend to ignore dire health/environmental warnings that seem to be attached to almost everything these days.

       And I consider myself & my family to be very healthy. My 10 year old missed his very first day of school due to sickness this school year. I don’t remember the last time any of my boys went to the dr because they were sick. I took 2 sick days last year and they were more mental health days than anything else.

   16. Please don’t be this vegetarian/vegan. You make us all look bad. That makes it harder for everyone.

       Check out these articles on the PETA website on how NOT to act:
       http://www.peta.org/living/food/making-transition-vegetarian/ideas-vegetarian-living/dining-friends-family/
       Note: I would go even further and not mention animal cruelty at the dinner table.

       http://www.peta.org/living/food/making-transition-vegetarian/ideas-vegetarian-living/tiny-amount-animal-products-food/

   17. No, despite being a well-educated, well-read person, I’ve somehow managed to miss all the health, environmental, or ethical concerns… You’ve enlightened me. I’ll stop eating meat immediately.

       Obviously I know them. Don’t be that sanctimonious vegetarian. That’s why people judge vegetarians.

       I eat meat because I like meat and don’t like non-meat protein sources. I don’t, however, eat pork, because I went through a vegetarian stint as a teenager and not eating pork is what stuck. The smell of cooking bacon makes me queasy now. I could probably give up meat except for lamb, because lamb is delicious. But I’m lazy and hate beans. So I don’t.

   18. Seems like there are a lot of sanctimonious carnivores here too. I currently eat small amounts of fish and poultry but I was a vegetarian for many years. I got a lot of raised eyebrows, questions, and outright ridicule from people about my eating habits when I was a vegetarian, and I never mentioned it unless someone asked me directly. No one has ever questioned me for eating meat.

       1. Yea, it absolutely goes both ways. I’ve dabbled in vegetarianism and if people notice there’s no meat on my plate they make a huge deal out of it. “Oh, well, there’s no way you’re getting enough protein.” “Oh you’re one of those hippies huh?” (I live in Texas though)

          1. Yeah. I was ordering a soy hot chocolate and the cashier/coffee maker just could not figure it out (it was in a National Park). The elderly women waiting behind me tapped my shoulder and tsked me, saying “Picky picky!” I turned to her and said “It’s not a choice.” in my most I-am-so-angry voice. She realized she was in the wrong and apologized. But really? Did that exchange have to happen? No. No, it did not.

             Geesh. Everyone just has to take a chill pill and MYOB.

          2. I was asked if I felt like a cow when I was eating leafy salad..Ugh..

             I am a lifelong vegetarian (almost vegan). I didn’t eat non-vegetarian food as a child because I just didn’t like it. I am Indian, so mostly it was a vegetarian food for everyone in the household and chicken/fish/lamb was once a week affair and my mother cooked separate meal for me on those days. Now, I am married to a vegetarian. So it is easy for me to be vegetarian.

             I don’t think veganism has any health benefits. At the same time, having meat everyday is not a necessity nor good for your health or environment. Every one can find a happy medium where they meet their nutritional needs, enjoy their food and care for the environment at the same time.

       2. +1. I’m a vegetarian, and I’ve been lectured at by carnivores many times. On the other hand, I’ve never seen a fellow vegetarian lecture anyone. I don’t know who all these sanctimonious vegetarians/vegans are, but a lot of carnivores seem unnecessarily defensive about their eating choices.

          1. I’ve had the same experience. I’ve also had people be totally shocked when I don’t comment or even really notice that they’re eating meat in front of me, which seems silly to me. Why would I care?

          2. You just saw it though

          3. Carnivores eat meat. Omnivores eat both meat and plant-based foods. Most Americans are omnivores. I seriously doubt any are actually carnivores.

          4. Carnivores eat meat. Omnivores eat both meat and plant-based foods. Most Americans are omnivores. I seriously doubt any are actually carnivores.

             1. … and I agree that many people are weird and overly personal to the point of being rude around anyone with a diet outside the mainstream. It sucks.

          5. You did just now. A sanctimonious lecturing vegan asked carnivores why we eat meat, implying that we must be stupid and bad cooks. So we told her.

             1. It’s on the internet, though. She’s a troll and maybe not even a vegan.

   19. dude. seriously?

   20. Two of my closest friends are hard core vegetarians, one a vegan – lifelong. They both spend a lot of time purchasing, planning and cooking their meals. A lot. of. time.

       They both are PhD’s in the biological sciences, and one is an MD PhD. And both became so severely B12 deficient that they have long term neurologic sequelae, and one became so malnourished while nursing her infant and feeding a family of 5.

       Pay for me to have a cook to prepare well balanced, tasty and nutritious meals every night, and sure… I’ll go vegan. But you know what…. there’s a reason we evolved to eat meat. For now, I’m sticking with my lean chicken, fish and even occasional bacon!

   21. Vegetarian, but not half as smug as you are!

5. What are your best casual shoe recommendations for walking around during a campus visit day event for graduate school? I don’t have any truly comfortable flats that will work for a 10-hour day. I have wide feet and high arches and am desperate for any recommendations for something that will be both practical and cute!

   1. Have you tried flats from Clarks or Naturalizer? I love my Naturalizer flats- they’re grey, and have a one-inch thick sole that makes walking around SO much easier.

      1. Which ones do you have? I have the Maudes and they’re the most comfortable, but the pair I got actually stretched out so much that they fall off my feet with a lot of walking. I would consider getting a new pair and sizing down for the event.

   2. Honestly the Payless Dexflex Scrunch Flat is so comfortable. I could live in them.

      1. Second, and even better if you go up 1/2 size and add a sneaker insole. So comfortable! Wearing them right now. They don’t last as long as some sturdier flats, but I found that even with more expensive ballet flats I was wearing through them faster than most shoes.

   3. Athletic shoes of some sort – fashion sneaker types if you don’t want to use your running shoes?

      1. I’d actually love to wear my Birkenstocks, but that might be too casual even for CA :)

         1. Birkenstocks are fine. Welcome to California.

            1. +1

   4. Naturalizer Maude was going to be my recommendation as well. I have the Cole Haan Air Monica (sadly discontinued due to Cole Haan and Nike’s awful breakup that ruined my footwear choices) and it’s pretty comfortable, but not as comfortable as the Maude if I’m going to do tons of walking.

   5. Are you the poster who has asked two questions about what to wear to Berkeley visit days and two/three times about the best neighborhoods to live in? If so, I’m going to channel my boy Lloyd from Say Anything: “you must chill!”

   6. Vionic has wide shoes and great arch support. I wear them and Birks for my wide, high arched feet.

   7. Dansko.

   8. based on all the campus visits I’ve had/led, you won’t actually be walking 10 hours… any fairly comfy flats should be fine. If you don’t wear socks, bring a blister stick.

   9. Clarks Desert Boots — takes some time to break in but I absolutely love them. I also have a wide high-arched foot and can’t wear any sort of flats.

6. There had been some discussion a bit ago about the MM La Fleur Bento box. Reviews seemed rather positive, so I thought I’d give it a try. Never again. I knew the prices on the clothes from browsing their site, so cost doesn’t even factor into my negative opinion. First, they let you pick a day to have it delivered (yes, there is a window) and mine came seven days before the day I chose. Which meant it arrived while I was out of town, so the box sat on my porch for days (I was surprised it was there when I got home, frankly) and I only had one day of the trial period to try and decide on everything. I’d called them to follow up and try and get an extra day or so because of the screw up, but never go through and my message was never returned. Though it turned out I didn’t need more time because the clothes were awful. Well, not awful – fabrics were very nice and the shapes were classic, but they were horrible for me. I’d been very specific in what I was looking for and what worked on me in the questionnaire, and yet I received basically the opposite. I’m an exaggerated pear and I stated that I needed a-line and fit/flares styles, but I got three sheath dresses that wouldn’t even zip. Oh, and a random white leather belt that didn’t go with any of the dresses. I know they make dresses in the shapes I need, so no clue why they didn’t actually read my profile before sending the shipment.

   1. I don’t get the hate. I cannot tell you how many items I try on and they just don’t work for me. Doesn’t require a lot of comment; just move on.

      At any rate, it seems that you outsourced to a stylist or shopper (or robot?) and it just didn’t work out. I’ve had personal shoppers make choices that were probably well meant, but I’m a big girl and can just say no thanks. Not a big deal.

      1. I really appreciate reviews like these (especially for products/services with styling fees that you lose if nothing works out). Often with products like this bloggers are comped to review the product and inevitably they give rave reviews. They’ll mention one insignificant flaw, just to seem unbiased and lead readers to believe this product/service is practically perfect. So it’s nice to read a review that’s honest because if I ever decide to use this service, I know to be flexible on delivery date, be aware of high priced items, etc.

      2. Its not hate. Its a review of something people have expressed interest and opinions on before. Stating that the service provided by a company priding itself on service is not what they advertise is actually pretty helpful.

   2. Have to disagree – I got a Bento box recently. Out of the 5 items they sent me, I kept one. The other items did NOT work on my body at all, but the one that I kept–the Etsuko dress–is pretty much my dream work dress. I do most of my shopping online, and an 80% return rate is normal for me. Now that I have an idea of what they offer, I’ll likely just order dresses individually from their site. But the Bento was a nice introduction.

   3. I agree that some pieces don’t work for certain body shapes, but the ones that work for me have completely changed my wardrobe. The fabrics are so comfortable that I end up wearing my MM pieces pretty much everyday. The Toi, Etsuko, and Annie have worked well for my body (slight pear shape, short but long torso). The clingy skirt/shirt combo is awful on anyone with curves. The Lydia is clingy but I ordered a size up and find it very versatile (can layer a turtleneck underneath in winter, wear as a warm weather sheath in summer). I had an OK Bento experience (the timing of the box was off, but I got the Toi dress which I otherwise wouldn’t have thought would look professional on me). Now I only order after trying on at their pop-up events. I like their pop-ups because they have lots of “normal” shaped women that work for them that have the clothes on, so it’s a useful way to get styling ideas. I wish their models online were also more “normal” because it’s hard to tell how the pieces may fit on the rest of us.

7. I have the Charge HR and love it. My one piece of advice would be to be religious about moisturising the part of your wrist it usually sits on – I didn’t and my skin started to flake after a few weeks of wearing it.

8. My best friend just found out she is pregnant. We are in our late-20s, she makes minimum wage and is in a very, very casual relationship. Keeping the baby is totally out of the question. I think I am the only person she has told so far – even the guy doesn’t know yet. She is very emotionally stoic. She has a hard time asking for help, leaning on people, etc. She’s told me she never wants to talk about the pregnancy again.

   She has scheduled a D&C for a day I go out of town for a week. I can’t change my travel plans, and this was the only appointment she could get with her work schedule. She asked me to come, but I can’t. The clinic makes you bring someone – so she will have to tell someone else.

   I feel really terrible and helpless. I want to be there for her emotionally, but she won’t let me. I think the best thing I can do as a friend is just distract her, talk and laugh about other things. Have any of you been through this? How can you best support someone who doesn’t want support?

   1. Does she have to bring someone with her or is it that she can’t drive herself home and so calling an Uber would work too? (Genuine question – I’ve never been told I had to bring someone to any medical procedure, but have frequently been told I can’t drive myself home after various appointments.)

      1. I know that I have twice been told to bring someone to a dental or outpatient surgical procedure, and specifically told that a cab or Uber would not be sufficient. Presumably they want somebody who can get you into your home and settled in.

      2. Most health centers that provide abortion will not let patients leave in a taxi/uber. The issue is that you’re not going to be fully capacitated, and it’s risky to trust a stranger to get someone home. Either way, most abortion providers let patients have support people with them. If not in the procedure room, than in the waiting room and then in recovery.

         1. This makes sense.

   2. I don’t think distracting her is a good idea or trying to make her laugh.

      Can you really not change your plans? Because this is classic best friend duty.

   3. Ive been through this.
      Be there for her in whatever way you can. Don’t judge whether or not she wants to tell him or not. Reassure her that she is still a good person and you trust her to make the best choice for her. Distraction is good if thats what she wants.

      Also, is there a possibility that you can help pay for her to get a ride/to from? The clinics don’t “like” to do that but it may make her feel better like she doesn’t have to tell someone else.

      Lastly, doing thoughtful things like making sure that she has a heating pad post procedure, and takes her meds, and has some comfort food could go a long way.

      1. Yes. Can you put together a care package of heating pad, red wine, mac and cheese? Or whatever your BFF is into… those would be mine.

         1. Not sure if you’re going to check this again today, but I agree with Wildkitten on the heating pad for sure. My boyfriend got me one of the long ones that can lay all the way across your lap and it was the greatest thing ever. Other ideas/things I appreciated would be: nice ginger-based teas, ginger ale, cookies/crackers, comfy slippers/loose pajamas, a good sports bra, nice chocolate, takeaway gift certificates (if you can’t be there to cook). I was sedated for mine and was really loopy for the rest of the day and then pretty much wanted to curl up with my heating pad/dog/friends for a couple days of cramping and hormones after.

            The clinic I went to had the same policy referenced above wherein they wouldn’t let me leave unaccompanied for safety reasons.

   4. You can’t distract her from this. I think the only thing to do is be there during the procedure and then being available if she wants to talk about it but not forcing it.

      It sounds like you’re trying to be a good friend but unfortunately, there’s not a lot a friend can do in this situation besides be there…

   5. Are there any other times that she can reschedule? I know it’s her procedure, but if you truly can’t miss work and you’re the person she wants there, maybe she can negotiate the time at work? What a tough situation.

   6. This is late in the day, so you may not see it, but is there any way she can schedule a medical abortion instead of the D&C? It’s less invasive, and even if you can’t be on site with her, you could be around later when she’s tender and crampy.

      1. I would just add that while many women prefer to do medication abortions (typically only available up to 63 days from your last menstrual period), they’re not for everyone. Some women prefer for the entire process to take place in the clinic. Other women find the bleeding from a medication abortion more frightening. Not to say it’s a bad choice, but deciding between the two isn’t something I would take too lightly.

      2. also, fyi, some states require MORE visits (and it’s a higher cost) to get this type of procedure. It’s more highly regulated in some states, which makes it a lot less available.

9. I’m considering the charge HR or just getting an apple watch. I want the reminder to get up and walk around every 2-3 hours. Not sure which fitbits do this, but I know the apple watch does…

   1. I think the Garmin one does that too.

   2. I asked my dad (who is obsessed with his Apple Watch) what he thought about the fitness tracking and he didn’t think it was that great. I think it is more smart watch with fitness tracking as an additional feature versus a fitness tracker with certain smart watch capabilities added on. Thats why I ultimately went with a Fitbit.

   3. I believe the new Fitbit altra has the warning – previous models do not, which is why I had a Jawbone. Unfortunately my Jawbone went kaput. If I get another tracker it will probably be the Vivo Smart by Garmin, although I might look at the Altra. I also need an idle warning. I sit WAY too much at work.

      1. +1 – I went with the Jawbone UP2 for this reason as well. I also have smaller wrists and I preferred the look over the Fitbits. If you’re looking for some of the other features (screen, heartrate, etc.), the UP2 isn’t for you. But I’ve found it to work well for my purposes. (Though this new Fitbit is tempting me…)

   4. the Alta (new cute one) does the reminder thing, but the Charge HR doesn’t.

10. Has anyone tried Chronos? I just read about it in InStyle – it attaches to any regular watch. I lost my fitbit recently and I’m intrigued by this…

    1. Nevermind – looks like it is in pre-order, but I’m thinking about it.

11. I think I have feelings for a friend of mine. He’s great, and we are both single, but I would never want to ruin the friendship. How do I get over him? Or do I say something?

    1. I can’t tell you what to do. However, I can tell you that I was in your shoes once, and decided that I couldn’t hide my feelings anymore…and we are getting married in June.

    2. Say something. The world is not a bottomless pit of single attractive compatible men. If the friendship is good it won’t ruin it.

       1. +1 to this – it’s not fun to find out that your friendship wasn’t that strong, if it comes to that, but you’ll survive.

    3. When I got a divorce, my best friend confessed his feelings for me. We were compatible in every way…except I was simply not physically attracted to him. We even went on a date and I just didn’t feel about him that way.

       These days we rarely talk and only about superficial stuff, and I miss him in my life, but I have no doubt whatsoever that if I were ever in a situation and genuinely needed him, he’d be there in an instant. So yeah, I’ve lost my best friend, but in some ways, I haven’t. I think he feels it was worth the gamble to know. And now he’s dating someone and seems very happy.

    4. I dated best friend from childhood for a short period during college, long-distance. It got really awkward, and we drifted apart, but then we reconnected and now he’s my best friend again.

       I’m now dating one of my closest friends from college, and being with him fills me with so much joy I feel like I can’t contain it all. And it’s cheesy, but even if we broke up, it would have been worth it to have felt such love. I’m not sure I’d be able to go back to being friends with him after we’ve been as serious as we are, but only because I think I would have a hard time letting go.

       That said, be honest with yourself. Is this one-sided? Put aside your ego and insecurities and honestly examine his behavior and actions towards you. You’ll probably be able to tell whether he has feelings for you. Ask mutual friends if you feel you can – they’re often right about this kind of thing.

       And if not? Fall in love with someone else. That’s the surest and best way to get over someone. Spend less time with your friend for awhile, and tell him, quite honestly, “I’m focusing on dating right now, sorry.” Go on a ton of dates (this is what Tinder etc were made for), and flirt shamelessly. Don’t worry if you don’t meet someone you’re enamored with immediately – it’s a process.

    5. I literally just went through this. I ended up asking him where we stood. He didn’t return my feelings. This was within the last week and work travel has us in different states, but I am optimistic things will be okay.

       Google Captain Awkward, “the year of living awkwardly”

12. Am I the only person who doesn’t understand the draw of these things? Have we really reached a place in society where we need a reminder to get up and move, or a “step challenge” with our family in order to stay active? Does it really matter if my wristwatch monitors how much sleep I got or if I just have a vague notion of “I turned of the light at 10ish, fell asleep pretty quickly, and woke up at 5, so I’m guessing 6.5ish hours?”

    It just don’t get the fascination.

    1. I’m trying to lose weight and one of the things I’ve struggled with is tracking my food. Since I got my Fitbit though, I’ve tracked my food every single day. Something about already having a bunch of metrics in one place makes me more inclined to add the ones in that I have to track myself. As someone who can just wing it by how I’m feeling (exercise, food, whatever) and gain 10 pounds in no time flat, and a person who is really into the granular details, I’m finding the immediate personal accountability helpful.

       1. This is really helpful to me! I assumed I would avoid logging my food (like I do with My Fitness Pal) but you’re making me rethink this.

    2. Apparently you don’t! But I do. Without some remind I’m just not very active. This helps.

    3. I absolutely think we are in “a place in society where we need a reminder to get up and move”. I have a desk job, with few meetings or other reasons to get up. I pack my lunch for money and health reasons, so I don’t walk for lunch. I drive to and from work and park in garages under my apartment building and under my office. I don’t have time to go to the gym every day. But when I was good about wearing my fitbit (before I lost it – see above), I could check and if there was a day I was really low on my steps, I’d get up and just do a lap of my office or something. So you do you and if you don’t see the need, don’t buy one, but yes, judging by the mass appeal of these things, clearly there is a value add to some people.

       1. +1 I am severely overweight (~250 lbs) overweight, and the fitbit was a huge wakeup call. I thought that I mostly had a food issue, and that I was a decently active person. Nope I am not. Now I actually feel guilty if I don’t get at least close to my goal every day,and bring my activity levels to the forefront of my thoughts on a significantly more often basis. Also I just started step challenges with my friends over the weekend, and the competitive side of me really makes me get out and be active. Its a fun way to do something together while we’re all spread out across the country. Has it helped me lose weight? No not really, but this is the first 8 month period in several years that my weight hasn’t really gained much. I’ve lost maybe 10 pounds.

    4. Given the market for these devices, I think that yes, we have reached that point as a society.

       Frankly, given how many people are deeply unfit, by which I mean “would likely struggle to walk a couple of miles due simply to lack of cardiovascular fitness” (and not due to injury, disability, etc.), I’m not sure what the objection is to something that might help those folks start engaging more with exercise. I’m kind of surprised that this surprises you, tbh.

    5. I don’t get the fitbit thing either. I think it is primarily a way for people who don’t exercise to make themselves feel better about the fact that they don’t exercise, and for people to signal to the world that they are “healthy.” Sort of like wearing athleisure clothes to the supermarket when you obviously aren’t coming from the gym. Plus that, I don’t want my activity and health information being tracked by a third party over the internet.

       1. Major eye rolls.
          Or perhaps people do want to make incremental improvements to their health and this helps them do that.
          And if you don’t think your activity is being tracked by a third party over the internet you must not have a smart phone of any kind. Or health insurance for that matter.

       2. I exercise regularly. I also have a tracker, and my exercise habits predate my tracker. I’m a data-minded person, and the tracker helped me realize some habits of mine that I hadn’t really considered previously. For example, some Saturdays I take virtually no steps. Sure, I could probably have figured that out on my own, but somehow it’s harder to shrug it off and hit “yes, I am still watching” on my Netflix binge than take a 30 minute walk when this thing is buzzing on my arm and I have a bunch of notifications on my phone.

          Not that I think there’s anything wrong with long Netflix binges, trust me. But the fitness tracker works for lots of different people for lots of different reasons. You do you.

       3. Also don’t hate on the activewear thing. I grocery shop in my activewear because it’s hella comfortable.

    6. I’m mostly with you. I get that it’s fun but also find the idea that we integrate healthy habits into our lives through obsessive monitoring instead of, you know, integrating them into our lives to be pretty creepy. Of course, I also hate Weight Watchers, so I’m clearly the outlier here.

    7. You’re not the only one. I researched them after everyone in my office bought one in New Year’s Weight Loss zeal, but I read reviews about them being inaccurate since they are worn on the wrist. Like phone apps, or waist clipped step counters, the wrist trackers aren’t always counting steps effectively.

       I hear my coworkers bragging about jogging in place in their bedrooms to get their step challenge in and I just don’t get it.

    8. I’ve had a fitbit for two years. I am also overweight and although I have not lost too much weight with it, I have maintained an activity level that allows me to not gain any more weight, which is good for me. It also helped me to see that my friends in similar roles also struggled with getting a workout in and now we workout together.

    9. Obviously, I am aware of my fitness level on any given day, and as I have a great memory, can reel off the times I’ve met someone at the gym or gone to running club for a workout.

       But it is really great to be able to pick up a phone, scroll through, and think, “Wow, I haven’t been to the gym in three days and only once this past week,” without having to count it off in my mind.

13. How do you tell your childless boss (who hates working moms) you’re expecting?

    1. Maybe with a digital voice recorder hidden in a pocket?

       And/or practicing on a friendly HR person first?

       1. Umm only if you’re in a one-party consent state.

          1. And you employee handbook doesn’t prohibit it.

14. Tired to post earlier, not sure if it got erased or is in moderation. Was on the Nordstrom Rack site and saw some cute ivory tights, Free People brand, that might be what you’re looking for. Won’t post the link to avoid moderation.

15. Any recommendations on chewable pre-natal vitamins? Ideally looking for ones that besides folic acid, also contains iron, calcium and omega-3.

    1. My OB let me take Flintstones vitamins when the prenatals made me throw up. You can buy omega-3 gummies separately.

       1. me too. and then those also made me throw up (but basically everything did). the gummies didn’t exist at that time. w/ baby no. 2, there were pre-natal gummies that I could generally keep down. I got them at target, and I think used the target brand rather than the name brand.

    2. I had a hard time finding a chewable with iron. Vitafusion has some sort of healthy fatty acid, but I had to go back to the horse pills because chewable + iron supplement wasn’t cutting it for me.

       If your issue is sickness with the horse pill, take it at night. If it’s swallowing, I’ve got nothing, sorry.

       1. I do the belly bar chewable prenatal (mixed fruit flavor), plus Coromega Adult DHA gummy fruits for the omega-3. I’m very sensitive to iron and the bellybar have been great. The Coromega taste a little bit fishy, but I take all the vitamins at once and together they taste fine.

    3. I did the VitaFusion kind. I think there’s two different ones. One that is calcium and fiber. And one that is Omega 3s+folic+other multivitamin type things. I took a separate iron supplement. So the routine was the multi-vitamin + iron in the morning (iron with food) and the calcium in the evening. I was lucky with no nausea but I figured if it did happen that it’d be better to break up the vitamins into different parts of the day so that hopefully something got through and/or I could skip the iron (which does make some people nauseas) if I wanted to and take the others . I’m also vaguely remembering something about not taking iron and calcium together or that there was some reason to do the calcium separately. I might have made that up though.

16. I’m struggling with my interns. I am in a tiny (4 full-time people, 1 temp, 1 admin) legal department that relies on interns to be basically junior associates despite the fact that they are still in law school and have no experience. It’s an institutional problem in general, but nothing I can fix (at least not any time soon – what I wouldn’t give for a decent paralegal, anyway). In the past week or so, my interns, who had seemed fine so far, have really disappointed me in terms of work product. Not following instructions, taking obscene amounts of time on a time-sensitive task, etc. I try to be very clear in my instructions and very patient with them (I used to work in a law firm and have experience with junior associates/summer associates, I try SO hard to be a good mentor/leader), but I just can’t trust them to get the job done. I know at least one of my other colleagues feels the same way. My boss doesn’t want to hear any of it. I really want/need to be able to rely on them, but what can I do better? How can I regain trust in them? Now it seems easier to do everything myself despite how crushing time-wise that is.

    1. Are these interns paid? If not they have probably realized they are doing what should be a paid job and that is illegal which might be why the are slacking.

    2. I wish I had advice for you.

       But in my situation, it is the medical students AND sometimes even the interns AND the residents I can’t trust. And this is for treating sick people in the hospital.

       And training hours are being cut more and more, and interns/residents are not as well trained and don’t examine patients carefully anymore and the medical students…. they get irritated they aren’t being spoonfed and think they are above gathering vital signs and preparing presentations and complain when you make them work.

       So I do more. I simply can’t trust my team, and the stakes are so high.

       Don’t get sick, my friends….

    3. Are you kidding?!!!!! They are students. If your business is so poorly managed that you are relying on them for time sensitive work you’re committing malpractice. You aren’t supposed to trust them and they do not at all sound like the problem here.

    4. Are you working with students who come from a school with a highly-involved career services office? I work with undergrads, but I know that our Career Services staff would want to know if interns were underperforming, and may help you figure out how to improve their performance. Most Career Services offices are highly invested in ongoing relationships with their internship sites and wouldn’t want you to suffer with poorly-performing interns. On the flip side, they may also help you adjust your expectations of how much you have to supervise interns, as they are also highly invested in their interns having a good educational experience with you!

17. Hi all,

    I’ve just been accepted to Minnesota and Notre Dame for law school and I’m looking to connect with someone who attend either program and can share with me their experience. If you’re willing to chat, please let me know!

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