Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Floral-Print Silk Chiffon Shirt Dress
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
As soon as the thermometer goes above 60 degrees, I’m ready for spring dresses and bare legs. I love this floral-print silk chiffon dress for a business casual office in the springtime. I would wear this with a navy blazer and nude-for-me shoes. (On another note, it was really lovely to see that Brooks Brothers is converting its factories from manufacturing shirts and suits to now making masks and gowns for health care workers!)
The dress was $398 full price but is on sale for $278.60. It's available in sizes 0–16. Floral-Print Silk Chiffon Shirt Dress
A couple of more affordable options are from Saloni for $198 on sale (the “navy aspen” print) and Halogen for $99 (the “rust/black dot” print). This plus-size dress from Baacal (at 11 Honoré) is $644, and this much more affordable dress from Donna Morgan is $44.97 and comes in sizes 14W–24W.
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Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
- How do you celebrate milestone birthdays?
- How do you account for one-time expenses in your monthly budget?
- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
- when to toss old clothes of a different size
- a list of political actions to take right now
- ways to increase your intelligence
- what to wear when getting sworn in as a judge (congrats, reader!)
- how to break into teaching as a second career
Track the purchases/sales of stock by US Senators https://senatestockwatcher.com/
At-home facials https://www.wmagazine.com/story/at-home-quarantine-facial-everything-you-need/
If you did NOT test positive for COVID-19, researchers want you to participate in a study https://www.niaid.nih.gov/news-events/nih-begins-study-quantify-undetected-cases-coronavirus-infection
I’m trying to wean my mom off the fear-needle that is NPR News so if anyone knows any website with streaming classical music or friendly talking please drop a link below.
Not classical, but big band-ish swingy jazz (not a music person). My kid (!!!) got me into the soundtrack to the Cuphead videogame. It’s on YouTube. THAT led to a renewed interest in Brian Setzer and the whole jump swing thing of the 1990s. It has been a nice break from the nonstop 2020 news cycle.
I watched Swingers again the other day. I had forgotten how much of a thing that was in the 90s!
As a longtime big band/swing lover (1940s) that era drove me nuts!
https://www.digitalconcerthall.com/en/home
thank you :)
Strava FM is UK based but streams online and it has really accessible and often interesting classical music.
thanks, would you happen to have a link? Google’s not doing it for me, I just get something about a bicyclist.
That’s because I had it confused with the bicycle app. It’s Scala FM!
ROFL! thank you so much, that looks perfect :)
I’m not in the UK so can’t listen, I think.
Thank you! I emailed about the NIH study. So glad you shared it.
I am glad you found it useful :) It’s going to be interesting to see the actual prevalence of this.
I want to recommend a cute game I just started playing on my phone: I love hue, a color matching game. Very calming and visually pleasing.
That game looks awesome! Very relevant to my interests, thanks! I have a friend who is a graphic designer who is really really good at this type of stuff, I am terrible at it but maybe I can improve!
SiriusXM is offering free streaming through mid-May, I think? I know there are classical channels along with a variety of other music and talk radio.
Not classical, but we have been listening to two streaming jazz stations a lot – https://www.jazz24.org/ and https://www.wgbh.org/music/jazz/jazz-24-7. The latter is a little peppy-er. Neither has much talk at all.
You should also try WQXR, but it may have some scary newsbreaks as it is from an NYC NPR affiliate. I’m really not sure though. https://www.wqxr.org/streams/
Minnesota public radio has a classical station that is awesome! https://www.classicalmpr.org/
Thank you, that looks ideal!
+1 Love it.
The Classical Station out of NC is commercial-free and excellent. I especially like their Saturday Night Request show! https://www.theclassicalstation.org/
I look forward to checking out some of the others you all mentioned!
Radio.net has links to classical music stations around the world. I highly recommend the Baroque station out of Greece, Venice Classic Radio, and RadioClassique in Paris.
The Metropolitan Opera and Paris Opera both are doing online streams of opera performances, and some have been absolutely brilliant performances.
I’ve been making an effort to seriously minimize my use of paper towels by using cloth rags and wash cloths; however, I’m hoping somebody has a solution to my current problem.
Where do I keep the used cloths after they’re wet? For a while, my solution was just ‘drape them over the edge of the sink and/or faucet until they dry a bit’, but now that the whole family is around all the time, my sink is just draped in damp rags. Laundry room is in the basement, so it’s a pain to just throw them in the washer.
What’s my play here – wet bag under the sink? Plastic bucket that I empty 1x/day to the laundry room?
I have a laundry bag that hangs in my kitchen. I ring them out real good and then throw them in there for the next time i’m doing a similar load of laundry. I’ve never noticed a smell or gross-ness to them when I go to wash them.
I have a mesh laundry bag that I throw them in. It just hangs on the handle of my kitchen door. I add the hand towels and washcloths to make a full load and throw in a scoop of diaper sanitizer powder (as I’ve got extra on hand), and haven’t noticed a smell.
I throw them into a sink that is in my laundry room and then whenever I do a load I throw them in, but my laundry room is next to my kitchen so that’s easier for me than it is for you. Honestly, how wet are they? Couldn’t you just use a plastic bag? Mine are never wet as in sopping – they’re just damp.
I have a basket near my basement door where we throw random laundry that accumulates during the day when we are on the main floor — like wet socks or whatever other stuff my kids shed off during the day. I drape damp cloths over the side of the basket.
I do this too. And I wash everything together because I feel strongly that if you can’t get your laundry into your basket (kids and husband), and you throw it in the one you know accumulates hand towels from the most-used bathroom and the kitchen towels, you deserve to have your discarded items washed with those things.
Why would anyone care about this?
I wouldn’t want certain clothes I have to be washed with any kind of towels because of lint and because washing clothes with towels is harder on the clothes. Some people mentally don’t like the idea of clothes worn on their bodies being washed with dirty cleaning rags that have gross grime on them + cleaning products on them.
If you’ve ever looked into your washer and seen what the wash water looks like when you wash dirty rags vs. what it looks like when you wash clothes, you would know why people care.
I have one of those new washers that is designed for minimal water use. No way do I want my work clothes mingled in with the rags I use to clean the toilet.
Personally I wash clothes in cool and towels on hot so I would t want my clothes washed with towel so cause they’d shrink.
Yeah, I’m with HFB – I wash most clothes I cold/cool, but I do towels/sheets/cleaning rags/diapers in hot.
TBH – I don’t really know w.r.t. the clothes that end up there: socks, random PJs, maybe a sweatshirt. The kids and husband use this basket because it’s lazier to reach than the basement (10 stairs away) or their laundry baskets (up 1 or 2 floors). My elementary school kid thought it was really gross her PJs were washed with the kitchen towels and threw a fit. And I let her know that she could use literally any other laundry basket in the house. My husband was mad his “fancy” sweatshirt (listen, it’s pandemic times, we all have our things) got washed with the towels that were used to clean up my toddler’s pee accident. He chose to put his sweatshirt in that basket, not me—as I reminded him. I too prefer that some of my clothing gets washed with towels or yucky towels. But I do not put them in the yucky towel basket when that is the case. And I’m not going to spend my time picking their clothing out of the yucky towel basket. {shrug}
It’s the same reason why they tell you to run an empty wash cycle with bleach after doing a really heavily soiled load. Even your washer needs a wash, as those of you with rubberized parts in the drum in front-loading washers know, when they start to discolor from mold after years of usage.
I get an entire basket of rags that have been used for deep cleaning, but really, one or two kitchen towels that have been used to wipe up a spill on the counter can easily be put in with my clothing, sheesh.
I use a sponge and cloth holder similar to this. At the end of the day I put my kitchen towels in the laundry.
https://www.dhgate.com/product/kitchen-dishcloth-holder-for-towel-rag-hanger/486383998.html#seo=WAP
Wet bag under the sink or, depending on where your laundry room is, an open mesh laundry basket. We have a pop up mesh thing from ikea that we just toss rags into all week, then dump it in the washer when full. It’s directly off of the kitchen though
Our bathroom is close enough that it is convenient to drape them across the top of the shower door frame and let the dry. And since I try to run one load of laundry each day, I try to grab whatever has accumulated on the shower door frame each morning and toss them in that day’s laundry.
Caveat: I rarely use cleaning chemicals beyond dishsoap, vinegar, or bleach (very rare).
I’m making the switch as well, but just like I never had sopping wet paper towels, the towels are never wet, just damp from whatever cleaning spray I used. I throw them down the basement stairs and deal with it when I go down there to do laundry in the evening (our basement stairs are off our kitchen).
I would do this but our basement stairs are carpeted in a plush carpet (why? no other place in our house has carpet except for this and part of the basement.)
probably because it had the coldest floor
I put rags into a small plastic bucket in the pantry and then wash it when there are enough, but I’m not super satisfied with the system because I feel like mold could develop. I prefer not to wash cleaning items with my regular clothes.
This might depend on geography/climate but leaving wet rags out is a recipe for mildew where I am. My bath towel even gets mildewy in the summer if it’s not draped in a way that it dries THOROUGHLY within several hours. I’m in the south, so this only happens when it’s hot and humid. In light of that, I don’t keep mine in any kind of container or location where the moisture gets trapped (like under the sink in a wet bag). I have a small hamper beside the washer where I drape rags over the side until they’re dry. We usually have one draped over the sink drying. Then at the end of the day when they’re basically dry, I transfer them into the hamper. I think a bucket or bin in your kitchen or pantry in an out of the way spot could work for this and then take them downstairs once a day. Also take a look at the type of rags you’re using. We get those really cheap white, thin kitchen towels like they use in restaurants. Those are designed to dry quickly, so I find that they’re dry after a few hours as long as they’re not sopping wet when I hang them up. Plus they’re white, so you can clean with bleach if you want. Sometimes I clean with microfiber cloths, and those take way longer to dry.
OH my goodness! this is what I need… THANK YOU.
Dang… comments got mixed up – this is for Belle Boyd… Anon at 10:35 – that’s what I was doing – the Drape. However, with 3 little kids around and just miscellaneous messes… the entire kitchen had turned into a big Drape.
I have a towel rack on the inside of the cupboard door under my kitchen sink that has three arms that fold in and out that I use for kitchen towels. The towels aren’t sopping wet, usually just damp, so each towel gets its own arm, extended out away from other towels so they dry pretty quickly.
Unfortunately, I have no idea where this towel rack came from or if it’s something that’s still made.
I have a set of white microfiber towels in my kitchen. I have a small basket for clean ones and a small basket for dirty ones. Microfiber dries very quickly so they arent wet for long.
We toss them in a large basket on top of the fridge and wash about once a week. I don’t worry about them being damp; at least in our climate they don’t get moldy or anything.
What are some cute / on trend shoes for spring/summer? I need a pick me up. I am thinking along the lines of Tory Burch Miller sandals but those seem like they are done. What’s a more fresh alternative?
If you like the logo look of the TB sandals and are willing to spend more, the Gucci flat marmot are great and super walkable. Available on Poshmark/the real real if you don’t want to buy new.
Target is always my go to for trendy sandals. They have tons that are very cheap.
I like this dress a lot!
Same here! Neckline is gorg
I love the $600+ plus size option on 11 Honore. 100% silk. As I sit here in one of the 3 pairs of stretchy pants I’ve been wearing for a solid month.
Anyone here keep a planted aquarium? What are your favorite online resources for this? I’ve been wanting to get back into this for a while and being home all the time is motivating me. I’m going to wait for the current crisis to abate until I feel comfortable ordering non-essentials online before doing anything, but I’m researching and dreaming for now.
I’m trying to work my way through my list of things I’ve been meaning to do, and finally made it to the life insurance task. Everything I read says you should shop around to get the best rate, but I’m confused how to do this when you can’t get the full quote unless you get a medical exam. Do you need to contact a few companies and do independent medical exams for each? Or do you just shop around at the quote range level and go with that?
Putting a plug in for policy genius. They basically do all the work for you. They were super easy to work with, set up the medical examiner to come to our apartment for mine and my husband’s exam together even though we bought policies from different carriers because rates were better for different carriers for us. I thought they were practical and not overly sales-y. For example the “standard” calculation for life insurance said that I should have much more insurance based on my income but they were helpful in talking through actual needs and I bought less for myself than what the calculator originally calculated after talking through life plans with the agent.
If you go through a broker like Zander or Policy Genius, the brokerage firm will shop around once you get your health class designation. My husband is with a different company than mine is because of the results from the physical.
You can sometimes get life insurance bundled with your car insurance. The Auto Club is one resource. AFLAC is another.
How are you (or are you) buying secondhand? I usually try to find things via Craiglist, eBay, or Poshmark. But don’t know that now I’d want to make someone go out to the post office to ship something, and there’s the additional disinfecting of everything. I’m not opposed to socially distanced exchanges on Craigslist. What do others think?
As someone who sells things she no longer wants/needs on eBay, I rarely go to the post office. I have a stash of priority envelopes and boxes at home, and I package in those, print a label from eBay, and schedule a pickup from the USPS.
Why are you shopping? That’s my solution. If it isn’t essential, I’m not buying it.
Thanks for being the person to interject inappropriate judgement into this morning’s conversation! I would say you win a prize but there are no prizes for being a jerk. You can pat yourself on the back, I guess, for being the Ideal Quarantine Woman, if you want to.
Piggybacking here: I’ve never bought secondhand from an online source. I’d love to snag some comfy lounge wear because my current wardrobe is limited and it’s being worn way down with so many wears and washes.
Any tips or tricks for ebay or poshmark (or others)? Anything to stay away from, or just trust reviews of sellers? Thinking a pair of leggings, maybe a hoodie or two. Brands like lulu, zella, athleta.. nothing majorly designer. TIA.
I buy a good bit on Poshmark. I won’t buy from sellers who don’t post actual pictures of the items. Often, sellers use the stock images, but I want to see the actual item to determine whether the description is accurate re: wear and tear. I also try to buy from sellers who appear to have been active relatively recently. That cuts down on buying something and never having it get shipped (you get refunded of course, but it’s disappointing).
I also have found that if you like an item, the seller will sometimes offer you a private discount to entice you to buy it. I also have had good success wtih making offers.
If you can’t tell, I really like Poshmark!
I have a couple Juicy brand sweatpants/joggers. NY&Co, Gap Body are good too.
I gave up Poshmark for New Year’s but I’m constantly tempted.
OH AND: for me the material is the most important thing. 100% cotton (or 90-something cotton and the rest spandex) are key. I am a material snob and avoid polyester especially second hand.
You’re not making anyone do anything. If they’re comfortable going to the post office, they’ll go, and if they aren’t, they won’t.
That’s not really true. People who are desperate to not get evicted are signing up for Doordash, Taskrabbit, etc. and there is serious economic pressure to accept every job, no matter the risk. There are lots of articles about this out there if you’re interested. I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable asking anyone to do any non-essential deliveries for me, especially for something like thrift shopping (bit of a different class than ordering something like a new trash can or a new mouse pad – not strictly essential, but helpful). All fun shopping is on hold.
You realize this is just going to make our macroeconomic situation worse along with making it very difficult for people relying on income from these activities to stay housed and fed, yes? I am not saying now is the time for nonessential shopping sprees but if everyone locks down their spending indefinitely, the recession/depression we are in (or that is coming) will be much worse. I am really, really not getting the logic between your statement of “People who are desperate to not get evicted are signing up for Doordash, Taskrabbit, etc. and there is serious economic pressure to accept every job, no matter the risk” and the idea that we should therefore NOT participate in activities to funnel money to these people? Do you not think these folks are capable of evaluating their own comfort with risk and making their own choices? What would you recommend people do who cannot make money? If you are in the UK or Europe, please understand that our social safety nets in the U.S. are VERY different from yours.
“Do you not think these folks are capable of evaluating their own comfort with risk and making their own choices?” – it’s not a meaningful choice when the alternative is severe economic deprivation. Yes, obviously we need much more robust safety nets in the U.S., but gig workers are eligible for unemployment benefits and most will probably get a stimulus check as well. Is it going to solve everything? No. Is it going to be enough for absolutely everyone? No. However, I’m hopeful that these measures will help reduce extreme, exploitative pressure that far too many workers are feeling to deliver Poshmark packages without PPE.
Co-sign. In an ideal world, I would love for Doordash, etc. to not be necessary in these times. But I also want my community members who are worried to continue to make money and be secure.
Another resource for supporting your service industry people who may be out of work right now: https://serviceindustry.tips/en/
You can pick your area, and leave a tip for a random service industry worker who has signed up because they’re out of work right now.
I’d say selling someone your leggings online is much less risky than doing someone’s grocery shopping. You can order envelopes from USPS online and print stamps at home.
Also, just because someone is poor doesn’t mean they don’t have a right to make decisions. If we’re going by your logic, it’s worth noting they’re going to be at a much higher risk of COVID sleeping on a bus stop or in a congregate setting like a homeless shelter than they are going to the post office or delivering food.
Guess what? Most doctors and nurses are only showing up to work right now because it’s that or have no income. Are you going to not go to the hospital if you get a severe case of COVID on principle as well?
“Guess what? Most doctors and nurses are only showing up to work right now because it’s that or have no income. ”
Seriously? My doctor husband shows up to work because that’s what he signed up to do, that’s his job, just like it’s a fireman’s job to run into the burning building while everyone else is running away. He’s even talked about how if – heaven forbid – he gets COVID, he will know that he died for his calling. It’s not rabout the money at this point.
I used Poshmark a bunch two weeks ago and bought a ton of new to suits. Left them in boxes for a day and then hung them (can’t wear them anywhere).
I also still pick up used books from my used book store (cur side pickup allowed in my town) and I drop of books at the little free libraries in my area.
As someone who sells on Mercari, I can tell you that I’m either having my mail carrier pickup packages at my door (I’ll leave them next to my mailbox/on my porch and she grabs them) or either I or my BF are going to the local shipping store that does USPS, UPS, FedEx, etc. If I wasn’t comfortable doing that, I would deactivate my items as some in my Mercari FB group have done. Merc is a side hustle for me and I appreciate the extra money that it brings in, especially now.
I’ll also suggest ThredUp and Swap for buying secondhand online; then the usual Posh, Merc, ebay. A lot of sellers depend on that income. I have a friend who sells clothes for me on Posh, and a bunch of other people and it’s her main source of income.
I haven’t been buying much lately, but I still like eBay better than all the alternatives.
I mainly buy Eileen Fisher or MM Lafleur, usually new with tags. I know my size, I know the brands, and I’ve had very good luck.
For instance I’m a dedicated EF crepe ankle pants wearer, and all but one of my pairs have been from eBay.
ThredUp! You search by size and condition and brand if you want. Also the RealReal but that is fancier/work stuff.
From the vegan pronunciation discussion from last week (where it was surmised that “vegan” doesn’t sound like “vegetable” because that is too close to a female body part), I was wondering . . .
Where I grew up, a lot of girls were named Gina.
One girl was named Regina — in local pronunciation, it sounds just like Gina.
It is true that you folks in the rest of the world, particularly where court cases are “Rex vs whomever” swap to “Regina” when leader is a Queen and that your pronunciation of that word absolutely does not sound like my friends named Gina?
Are you pronouncing Gina G-as-in giraffe EE-na?
If so, you are correct. Regina as in the Queen is Reg-EYE-na (the g being as in giraffe)
In NJ, “Gine” is pronounced GENE-a. There are other ways?
Same in Brooklyn.
I was working on a deal that involved “Regina”, a location in Canada, pronounced like the female body part. NGL, it was jarring every time someone said it. I may be way too immature.
Have you seen “Fugget about it”? The town of Regina features prominently. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLrepSycUMI
OMG. FIRST thing I do when I am queen is change things to male-gendered.
Rather than Elizabeth II, Regina (like the embroidery in the seatback covers in the queen’s plane, abbreviated E II R), I would be Elizabeth II, Rex. Like T. Rex. Tyranosaurus Regina . . . just no. REX. Or command that everyone pronounce it re-JEAN-a.
Horribleness.
My mom used to travel to the Canadian Regina frequently and my dad and I would laugh every time she said it. We’re not the most mature…
Not related to Regina, but I’m in the insurance industry and there’s an insurer named Hiscox that either gets a giggle out of me or a “that’s what she said” just about every time it’s mentioned.
Ps I’m 55. As far as I can tell, some of us never mature out of it
I read it before ever hearing it pronounced and I assumed it was pronounced like your childhood friend.
Not in Canada currently. Maybe previously? Currently it’s R. v. John Smith Year Court (e.g. 2007 SCC for Supreme Court of Canada in 2007), number) for the case citation in short. Full Name is ‘Her Majesty the Queen in Right of Canada’ or ‘Her Majesty the Queen in Right of Ontario’ etc depending on the Province. It will change to His Majesty the King in Right of Canada etc when the Queen passes, assuming we retain the monarchy (which I think we will).
So if the Canadian Prime Minister calls the Queen, does she answer the phone like that? Or perhaps she is announced to the callers?
But in court you just say “R” the letter? Like the old TV show “Elizabeth, R”? MUCH better.
In court, you say “the crown and Trudeau” rather than R versus Trudeau.
I used to live in Regina, the city that rhymes with fun. There are many, many jokes about it.
OP on this: Regina’s nickname was Reggie, like Reggie Jackson. She was sporty. G pronounced the same way in both names.
Can anyone recommend a good pair of tweezers? I haven’t been able to get my brows threaded in a few weeks (obviously) and while I can get the big/dark hairs I see some baby hairs and they slip through my tweezers. TIA!!!
Anything tweezerman! Such a great company and they do complimentary sharpening/maintenance when yours need it. For tiny hairs I’ve found the pointy tweezers to work best.
Tweezerman is the only pair you will ever want. Mine has been going for over ten years now.
+1 I have a pair with a slanted edge that are great!
Counterpoint: I find that Tweezerman cuts the hair off rather than gripping it to pull out.
I agree that this happens sometimes with the sharp edges. But on any other tweezer I’ve ever used, I have to attempt each hair twice, because it will slip out of the grip(I guess YMMV for hair texture). The rate at which this happens with normal tweezers is way higher than the rate at which my tweezerman will cut the occasional hair. For me, they are close to perfection.
Another vote for Tweezerman. I found mine in the beauty department of my grocery store.
Nothing but Tweezerman, and they come in fun colors!
Tweezerman for sure. I like the slanted tip petite size for better control.
At what point would you consider going to a doctor or an ER for a problem unrelated to Covid? I was in the process of diagnosing an intermittent abdominal pain in my right side that seemed to be exacerbated by food and gas, but wasn’t necessarily directly tied to gas and didn’t always go away despite not having any digestion problems. We had done a colonoscopy where the doctor found nothing, and I had been in for an ultrasound but my doctor had not had a chance to call me about the results before all of this hit. I have heard nothing from them. This was about a week ago. Under normal circumstances, I would have called to check but I know for a fact that my doctor’s office and larger employer has been severely impacted by the virus and I do not want to add strain to their system for what has felt like a non-emergency (the pain has been off and on for a couple years at this point).
However, in the past month I have had 2 instances of pain severe enough to make me contemplate going to an ER. Both times were immediately after some thorough gardening where within 5 minutes afterwards I went from fine, to severe cramps, having a vagus nerve response (cold chills, severely lightheaded, nausea, dizziness, ears ringing so loudly I couldn’t hear someone talking to me). That time it lasted until I threw up. This most recent time I caught was happening earlier on, took 2 aspirin, and stood very still for about 30 minutes while gently shifting my weight from one leg to another to avoid locking my knees. Narrowly avoided the vagus response but I was unable to sit comfortably for 2 hours because I had sharp pains in my pelvic floor. Later that night, I went to lay on the floor for some exercise and couldn’t because the distribution of weight triggered more sharp pains. Later that night I woke up with moderately painful abdominal pain which seemed exacerbated by gas, but was much much sharper than a gas pain and much more dispersed through my whole front abdomen than gas.
I don’t know if the abdominal pain I went in for an ultrasound for and this are related but to have two instances of pain, one which involved nearly passing out (my partner had to carry me out of our bathroom on that occasion, it was bad) and another which involved prolonged pain for more than 12 hours afterwards, I am just beginning to get concerned. I am relatively young, no known health problems, in good shape, physically active, well fed, hydrated. I really have no reason for any of this, but I’m not sure if there’s any sense getting anywhere close to a hospital or clinic until this Covid situation dies down. What would be your cutoff point for going to see a doctor? How bad would it have to get for you?
This is escalating and sounds bad enough to me. It’s better to call your primary care doctor and try to do something via telemedicine now, instead of waiting and having something happen that sends you to the emergency room.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, good luck.
At a minimum, call your doc and have a telemedicine appointment so that they can tellyou what to do.
This – reach out to your doctor and see what they say via phone/telehealth.
Can you contact one of your doctors in a patient portal? There’s a lot of telemedicine happening where I live. I personally would not see the need to go in to see a doctor just to have a conversation or have them poke me and ask if it hurts. But if you can schedule a telemedicine appointment, you can get a doctor’s opinion on whether it’s important to schedule in person.
Also, do not be shy about calling for your results.
Telemedicine! We are working really hard to make that available to our patients right now and it helps us recap some revenue that would otherwise have been lost. It’s a great idea!
You need to call your OBGYN today and ask her. I would not go to the ER these days b/c of Covid 19, but your OBGYN should be able to tell you what to do, and mabye Urgent Care. In the mean time, do not garden with your boyfreind in any way until this is figured out. It could be alot of things, but only your OBGYN would be the one I would trust. I had issues with my boyfreind, but never this serius.
We really cannot answer this for you. You need to call or make a telemedicine appointment with a doctor to answer your concerns.
It might be gardening related. What you describe has happened to me after a thorough session with a guy who was quite large (long), but it’s happened to a lesser extent with average and below average guys. It happens more often when I’m close to my period fwiw. My obgyn said he was damaging my cervix and possibly uterus. For me anyway, the pain doesn’t start until we’re finished/it’s too late, so it’s not like I can tell the guy something hurts knock it off. It’s important to tell your partner that – guys don’t understand the delayed pain thing. He just can’t go all the way in, ever. I’d stop the very vigorous sessions for a while and work back up to it so you both know where your limit is. Also pay attention to any minor cramping and stop right away if you feel it coming on.
Also – call your doctor for the test results. Much better to call than to try to go in.
I had a friend who had her appendix and her fallopian tube entangle and then her appendix ruptured. That probably isn’t what is happening with you, but it sounds severe enough to at least call to find out your test results and have a convo. If you do need to go to the ER, more information about your condition is a necessity not a luxury.
Call the nurse line at your doctor and get their opinion. This would definitely concern me and likely lead me to an ER visit if the pain I was experiencing leads to nearly passing out.
It depends on where you’re located. I live in Northern New Jersey, right outside of NYC and in the epicenter of this pandemic in the northeast, so I plan on avoiding the ER/clinic unless I’m knocking on death’s door and am not “with it” enough to call my physician beforehand (or speak with whichever MD is on call that day/night).
I think you should call your internist/doctor and follow-up on your ultrasound – it’s been a week since your ultrasound. Many physicians’ offices are set up to handle phone calls or video conferencing via telemedicine. This sounds serious enough to warrant a phone call today. Let them instruct you on how to proceed. You also need to update them on your latest episodes. Do not neglect care – you don’t want to get into a situation where a more extensive procedure is necessary because your condition has progressed/now warrants an emergency procedure.
Have you consulted your GYN? Rule out cysts, etc. in pelvic region — which can cause pain in abdomen (feeling of fullness, gas, nerve pain…)
Sending you good vibes and hugs from an internet stranger!
1) You should absolutely call your doctor’s office for the ultrasound result so that you have that information to rule things out. Scheduling a telemedicine visit to go over your results with your doctor is probably the best course of action here.
2) For severe abdominal pain that is making you throw up and want to pass out, I’d absolutely go to at least an urgent care – not ER. And call ahead. My area urgent cares will let you know how busy they are, if there are others in the waiting room, etc. and they can prepare a private room if you call ahead.
In the instances you have described, I would have gone to the ER. I definitely would have also called my regular physician by now to get the test results and to share these latest episodes.
I hope you get this resolved soon!
First step would be to call your doctor or find one who does telemedicine & see if there’s anything you can do from home & ask a professional at what point you should go in or call again. (I know you said they’re busy but perhaps the person manning the office can find someone to call you back or direct you to someplace else.) It’s better to call than go in if you can & then you’ll be better informed on what to do if you do have a true emergency.
My dad had to take an ambulance to the hospital during all this for a non-covid reason. He said he received excellent care and was put in a section where they were not putting ill patients and his staff wore masks but not the full PPE stuff they use for COVID patients. He felt they were properly sanitizing everything and keeping him as safe as possible. The only hard part was he had to go it alone as my mom was not allowed in with him. However, they did a great job of calling her on speaker phone so she could be part of all the consults (my dad is not great about relaying everything that led up to a situation) and keeping her informed each step of the way. They would call her just to say “okay, he’s off to cat scan now, we will call again when he is out.” They are in southern Mass and it seems they are directing all COVID possible cases to one particular hospital and using another for cardiac patients and another for trauma patients. He was a cardiac patient but is luckily OK.
I wouldn’t hesitate to go to the ER for a medical emergency. However, I have been in your shoes where my pain ends up passing and I don’t know what to do. In my case, after a laproscopic surgery we learned I had cysts hanging from my Fallopian tubes that had been missed on other diagnostics. I hope you get answers soon!
You need to contact your doctor and talk this through.
I’d get a telemedicine appointment ASAP. I had something similar which progressed and got MUCH worse over the course of a day and it turned out to be my appendix PLUS ovarian cysts…yay.
Yes, get telemedicine. Could also be gallstones.
Definitely call your doctor and try to get a telemedicine appoint including your ultrasound results – these symptoms sound similar to when I’ve had ovarian cysts, which doctors always initially think is gas until I press them to do an ultrasound (and could be a variety of other things as indicated by the other comments here). My doctor has always said to go to the ER if the pain gets so bad that I throw up as it could indicate ovarian torsion. Your doctor could similar advise as to when you should go to ER, particularly if they’re clued into the covid response at the hospital and what the ER is advising.
I would call your doctor and ask to speak to a nurse, say you are having severe intermittent abdominal pain and want to know what to do. This isn’t something like “my knee that has always bothered me is bothering me and I’m picking now to do something about it.” You could have a torsioned ovary or an ovarian cyst or it could be something more serious.
Definitely call and get the ultrasound results. From experience, if they see something alarming they generally call right away but good to call and get the results anyway.
The next time you have a cripplingly painful episode I would just go to the ER, if you are not in NYC or someplace else hard-hit. I have relatives working in our local hospital and they have told me they are still open for business, seeing patients with non-COVID medical problems. My aunt’s partner is actually worried they will have people call the ambulance too late for strokes or heart attacks because people are worried about COVID, and people will end up dying or be more debilitated than they would have been had they called.
FWIW. I dealt with intermittent right-sided abdominal pain for many many years. There were times it was so painful it took my breath away and I doubled over. I would spend an hour in the bathroom. I had x-rays, ultrasounds, CT scans and finally exploratory surgery. No one could give me an answer. I finally went to a doctor who asked me a bunch of questions about my diet, diagnosed me with atypical IBS, and put me on a strict elimination diet to see what was triggering the flares. I figured out the triggers for me were gluten, beans (sob), garlic and onions, and all sugar alcohols and artificial sweeteners. Once I cut out all of those (so basically following a modified low-FODMAP diet) the pain resolved. That may not help you but please keep going until you get an answer, as exhausting as it is. My quality of life is way better now than it was.
I had similar pain last fall– though it was not gardening related. Right abdomen, kind of where the gallbladder is. It was severe cramping, and I would pass a lot of gas. The first time I had it it was after eating an Impossible Burger, but then it kept escalating. It would start a few hours after eating– eventually it was so severe I couldn’t walk or breathe really and went to the ER. (By the time I saw the doctor and a lot of gas had passed, I wasn’t feeling as bad.) They did an ultrasound and bloodwork and found nothing but put me on an anti-spasmodic medication. My primary care at the time wanted to do increasingly more and more invasive tests to try and rule out conditions that made no sense with my age or symptoms. I ended up finding a new GP and she pretty quickly diagnosed me with IBS– the area where I was feeling pain was where a bunch of nerves pass the abdomen. She thinks I was allergic to the initial food– Impossible Burger– and that kicked off an IBS episode along with some stress from family issues I was dealing with at the time. Even though there was nothing “wrong” with me, I am so glad I have gotten medical treatment– the anti-spasmodics took the pain away. I also started feeling better once I got diagnosed– a lot of IBS is anxiety and if you keep wondering if you have a cyst/cancer/etc. you are going to stress yourself out more and make the pain worse.
OP here – Thanks for the advice, everyone. I made the call. My doctor is completely booked up at the moment but they told me one of her nurses will call me back soon to set up a virtual appointment so that’s on the right track.
Yay! Good thoughts!
Glad you did this. Follow up and let us know how you are doing!
FYI I had similar pains after s*x, nausea, extreme pain, fever, vomiting and it turned out that I had extremely large (6 cm diameter) cysts in each ovary, which turned out to be an extreme case of endo. I had to have surgery to remove the cysts and dissect scarring from my uterus, fallopian tubes, and rectal wall. Hope you are able to get answers soon.
This is EXACTLY what happened to me when I had to have my gallbladder removed. I would call the ER now. After years of having this pain intermittently and shrugging it off, I finally went to the ER after a particularly bad episode where I literally thought I was going to die on my bathroom floor. The ER doctors told me it was the most inflamed and “sick” gallbladder they’d ever seen and that I needed emergency surgery. They were concerned my gallbladder was going to rupture at any moment. Don’t put this off, make the call and get it taken care of because trust me, it doesn’t go away or get better
I had a similar issue with my gallbladder, now removed. My gallbladder was covered in lesions. Why? Who knows!
My spouse is taking tons of these telemedicine / telehealth calls right now, and even using FaceTime to “see” the patient and help diagnose issues. If they have a non-COVID issue that is deserving of emergency room care, then he sends them to the emergency room. They know how to isolate you from the infectious disease people.
Hello, I wanted to alert my fellow NY Litigators that there is an important development about the Statute of Limitations that has been extended by Governor Cuomo.
According to a memo I googled,
https://www.harrisbeach.com/news/interpreting-new-york-states-blanket-toll-on-statutes-of-limitation-due-to-covid-19
Due to the existence of a state disaster emergency as a result of transmission of COVID-19, the Governor has tolled statutes of limitations for state law causes of action from March 20, 2020 until April 19, 2020 (30 days). Although the Executive Order plainly applies to more than just statutes of limitation, this legal alert is focused exclusively upon its impact on statutes of limitation for state law causes of action. Executive Order No. 202.8 states in pertinent part:
“any specific time limit for the commencement, filing, or service of any legal action, notice, motion, or other process or proceeding, as described by the procedural laws of the state, including but not limited to the criminal procedure law, the family court act, the civil practice law and rules, the court of claims act, the surrogate’s court procedure act, and the uniform court acts, or by any other statute, local law, ordinance, order, rule, or regulation, or part thereof, is hereby tolled from the date of this executive order until April 19, 2020.”
I recommend you read this b/c it is subject to different interpretations, depending on whether you represent the plaintiff and the defendant. We represent the defendant, so we may not agree with plaintiff’s counsel. Oy vey, what a mess this Corona Virus is causing us litigator’s. FOOEY!
A basic internet search has turned up too many results, so I am wondering if someone here has suggestions. I am having trouble stopping myself from browsing the internet at night on my ipad before going to bed and I’m looking for basically a parental control app that locks down everything on the ipad except for the podcasts and audible apps (I listen to podcasts or audio books to help me fall asleep). While I know the simplest solution is “don’t keep your ipad in your bedroom”, I’m a pretty terrible at falling asleep and really need the transition with podcasts/audio books. I thought about just getting an ipod, but they don’t seem to make those anymore and I don’t want to go through the extra step of having to connect a device to my computer. Any suggestions are welcome! TIA!
Would an actual book help? I’m so bad with bedtime screen time but I’ve started back with actual books and it’s a total game changer. I fall asleep in my book almost every night after about 20 minutes. DH gets annoyed that the light is on. He has the option to sleep in the guest room if it really bugs him (it doesn’t).
OP here – right now, I perfer podcasts/listening to books as I’m actually falling asleep. I need to be listening to something to block out the “to do list of worries” in my head.
Could you set up parental controls on your ipad? It might be easier on your phone? You can also change your screen to greyscale which might make the endless scroll less visually appealing.
I’m assuming you have already tried ScreenTime? But in case you haven’t, I found it useful for exactly what you describe (except my phone). I excluded my library’s audiobook app so I can listen to that to fall asleep.
You just need to tell yourself NOT to do something like surf the web after 7:30pm. Dad made me promise not to shop after dinner, b/c I tend to buy more stuff after I eat. And he can tell when I place orders on the web, so after I promised, I had to live up to the promise. In your case, if you don’t have someone watching what you do like I do, just promise us in the HIVE that you won’t do it, and then follow thru. No need for anything more. If we weren’t social distancing, I would have recommended you find an SO to “distract you” after dinner, and that is about all men can actually do b/c they know they will get something out of it for doing that.
I know my iphone has a Do Not Disturb and Downtime setting. I have mine set up that all apps (aside from chosen ones) are “shutdown” at 10:15am until like 6am. I can easily say, yea, I still want to be in this app, but I have to make the conscious decision to do so. Check your Screentime setting on the Ipad.
I’ve never ventured into the Screentime app. I thought it just gave you a readout of how much time you spent on your phone/ipad. I will take a look, but this is exactly what I’m looking for!
Have you thought about putting your wifi router on a timer that automatically shuts off at 10pm and restarts at 6am? (Like the kind of plug in timer you put lamps on). This will turn off the wifi in your house so you can’t mindlessly browse but you could still listen to downloaded audio.
Does anyone here have a hot tub? We bought a house 11 months ago with one. We were told it works but hadn’t been used in a few years (maybe 2) as the seller was sick and unable to use it.
It’s been a low priority item for us, but all of this time at home has us wishing/wondering if we can use it. Any tips or tricks? Anything specific we should be aware of?
We’re going to have someone come out and tell us if it works or what maintenance it might need to get it up and running again. We used to own a home with a pool that we self-maintained for 5 years, so the chemicals and general operation we’re not too worried about, though we’re well aware it’s a different kind of animal.
TIA.
My parents had one for years and loved it. The people they sold their house to wanted it, so they sold it along with the house but still say they miss it.
Chemical maintenance is key and it’s more high-maintenance than a pool because of the risk of things like Legionnaire’s that can happen. My dad tested the water daily and they had to add chemicals multiple times a week. So if you’re not ready for that kind of time commitment, and can’t afford or don’t want to use a service to maintain the hot tub, don’t start it up.
They are also energy hogs, obviously. From what I understand the new ones are slightly more energy efficient but you will definitely see the hit on your energy bill.
I personally love hot tubs but the fussy maintenance and energy costs tend to bother people after awhile and after the novelty wears off, they tend to go unused. But if you are already familiar with pool maintenance and were okay with the work this shouldn’t be that different.
We have one. No big deal. Just a little chemical test once in a while (certainly no more than weekly), and that’s about it. We like to take a dip right before bedtime — so relaxing!
Looking for resources/antecdotal stories regarding dyslexia. My daughter is newly diagnosed.
If you have it, what has helped you in terms of interventions ?
If you have a child with dyslexia, what’s been helpful?
I’m 40 years old and was diagnosed with dyslexia in late high school. The speculation is it was not caught earlier because my family reads all the time and all the reading gave me the skills to work around it. We did not have a TV when I was growing up so, literally, we read all the time. I’m an attorney now and still read a lot in my personal time for pleasure. I never had any formal help to address the dyslexia.
I am horrible at spelling and always have been. I’m a slow reader and didn’t like reading as a kid (but didn’t have many other choices when the rest of the family was reading). I hate hate hate to read aloud because when I read, I frequently miss words entirely, misread words, read the same line twice, etc.; I refuse to read aloud to anyone other than my family. I was a terrible writer for years, but learning to type helped a lot; now I’m a pretty good writer.
Jonathan Mooney may be someone to look up. His own story about what school was like for him is hopefully dated, but my experience has been that students with dyslexia still appreciate his focus on strengths and opportunities.
I wasn’t diagnosed until late college, so I have used less interventions than I likely would have if I was diagnosed earlier. Assuming your daughter is still fairly young, the most common interventions when I was in school 10 years ago were getting textbooks as audiobooks so that you can listen when also following along in the text and getting text to speech software to allow you to listen to what you have written. I never really got in to the audio textbooks, I think it was just too big an adjustment too late for me and I had already developed other coping methods to deal with reading. But the text to speech software was extremely helpful and something I continue to use today in my job as an attorney because it significantly improves my ability to proofread briefs and other writing.
Having said that, everyone with dyslexia is different. For my brother, the audio textbooks were extremely helpful.
Get thee to a copy of Sally Shaywitz’s book Overcoming Dyslexia. Also check out Yale’s Center for Dyslexia & Creativity. Tons of excellent, research-based information.
Here’s just an anecdotal story… One of my best friends in college was severely dyslexic, and got a full scholarship to a very elite college (top 5). He was so brilliant and the best story teller I knew. He learned everything by ear and got books/textbooks on tape, but he never studied and his girlfriend wrote his papers for him and I’m honestly not sure how he graduated. He started his own business after college and is still one of the most interesting and talented and smart people I know.
It is amazing what the brain can do to compensate, especially with a smart person who is given stimulation, and they can do extremely well, now that we intervene earlier.
My uncle/his son/his son were all very dyslexic. All brilliant, and uncle a multi-zillionaire after starting a tech company. Each generation had an easier time in school, as people became more informed about dyslexia. Both my uncle/cousin were never formally diagnosed as children and struggled a lot as children. However, my cousin’s son had lots of audiobooks etc.. as a child, diagnosed early at school with interventions, had tutors to help with reading exercises etc.. and is doing great. There was some teasing when he was very young at school, but the teachers got on top of that immediately.
My son is receiving the “Seeing Stars” curriculum from Lindamood Bell to address his dyslexia.
Just a couple things – when my cousin was diagnosed with dyslexia as a child, she used to come home and “play school” with what she had learned that day and would reinforce what she had learned, as if she were the teacher.
I also have a grad student with dyslexia, who was really struggling with getting her reading done and it was causing her tremendous anxiety. I suggested using a screen reader to both listen and read her readings at the same time. Our LMS offers audio versions of any readings that are posted (through Ally) so it was a good option for her. Maybe try something like that?
That’s Learning Ally. I am blind and have used this service to get audio books. Check out screen reading software. For iPhone, the VoiceDream apps, such as VoiceDream Reader, are very helpful, as they highlight the text while you are reading it. Kurzweil education offers similar programs for the computer.
Non-covid related question that has been bothering me, probably because I have too much time on my hands. What do you do when you have a particularly unfriendly coworker? My small office of about 25 attorneys is filled with mostly very nice people, but there is one woman who affirmatively ignores me when I say hello in the hallways (I finally stopped and just ignore her now too) or in the parking lot. I’m not sure what her problem is and don’t know if I did something to offend her unintentionally (though I can’t think of what), but it’s really been irking me as of late when I think about it. Just forget about her and move on, right?
Yup.
Yes. Forget about it. i ignore people all the time in the hallways and parking lots, and it has zero to do with them and everything to do with the fact that I’m in deep thought and simply don’t notice them until it’s too late. I have to actively remind myself that there are people in the world and I’m supposed to pay attention to them or they will dislike me.
Now you’re going to say that she talks to everyone but you. If that’s the case, then . . . let it go. You’re escalating it for yourself by dwelling on it.
I’m the same- often deep in thought and not aware of my surroundings and it’s something I’ve had to actively work in to avoid being rude. Maybe that’s this woman’s deal or maybe she’s actually rude but either way, OP is toght- only way to deal is to ignore.
Yes, this. I had someone stop me in the hall once years ago to ask why I was rudely ignoring her and I was astonished. I was just preoccupied and wasn’t aware that she was expecting a greeting every time. Yikes. Let it go, OP.
That’s so odd to me. Someone said hello to you and you repeatedly ignored her? I just don’t get how that works. I’m often preoccupied at work too, but if a coworker say “Hey, good morning,” I still have ears and it doesn’t take much brain power to say one word (hey/hello/hey) back. To each their own but I frankly don’t understand it.
Brains are just different. It actually takes me quite a lot of brain power to get back from what I’ve been thinking and articulate a reply, especially if I am walking. Then the delay can make things even more awkward since a prompt reply was expected.
No, I think it was that she was offended that I didn’t initiate a greeting. That was why I was so flabbergasted.
Obviously I return a greeting 9 times out of 10 (probably 99 times out of 100) but feel free to think the worst of me.
SA, it’s not “thinking the worst of you” – you said you weren’t aware that she was expecting a greeting “every time,” which made it sound like a recurring problem. If this incident literally happened one time because you totally spaced out, then yeah, it would be weird for your coworker to confront you about it.
Yes, this! I have a colleague who is perpetually cheery and, if I don’t look up from what I’m doing and give her a cheery greeting, she gets miffed. If makes me grumpy, honestly. I’m not always feeling cheery!
My boss’s assistant firmly believes that she is my boss and constantly tries to correct me or give me instructions and I am not having it. I called her one day from the road to ask for a student’s phone number and she asked me a question that actually made me laugh out loud, it was so ludicrous, as if I was doing something wrong. I just snorted and answered, “I’m not going rogue.”
This is a her problem not a you problem. I have a staff member like that too. Bleah.
Is she from the west coast? I grew up on the west coast, where it was considered seriously weird to say hello to people in passing, especially people you didn’t know. It was a huge culture shock when I moved to the east coast and everyone was saying hello all the time. Even more so when I moved from the northeast to the south.
+1. It’s completely weird to say hello where I live, the norm is to at best nod at acquaintances and ignore passing people you don’t know.
Huh? I’ve lived on the west coast my whole life and have never seen or heard of that. If anything, people were less friendly when I went to school in the northeast. It’s one thing to not say hi to people you pass on the street, but it’s certainly rude to straight up ignore a hello from a coworker (if you don’t want to say it first, whatever, but to totally ignore someone who is speaking to you like a high school mean girl is rude).
OP here, I don’t know where she’s from, but I am on the west coast and everyone else says hi when I do, and so do I if others say hi first, so I don’t think it’s a geographic thing. For the poster who mentioned being deep in thought and not seeing someone, I’m frequently like that, but if someone says hello to me I snap out of it and respond. Sounds like I just need to move on.
Why is it important to you to say hi in the hallway?
I’m an extrovert, I like people, but even to me it seems weird to pass someone for the third time in two hours and have to say hi again.
You need to let this go.
Sigh, it’s not important to say hi – but I do find it rude when I repeatedly say hello to someone and they just stare blankly at me. We’ve been formally introduced when I started at the job, and I’ve never encountered anyone who keeps ignoring a polite hello. To be clear, this was not “the third time in two hours” – this was over the course of several weeks.
Yep, let it go. She’s a jerk and it’s not your problem. I’ve known people like that who were inexplicably rude and it’s just not worth wasting time on them. They’ll have to deal with the consequences for their reputations and careers later on.
I have a couple of coworkers like this, and my observation at least for mine has been that I believe it is because they are introverted to almost an extreme level. In other words, it has nothing to do with me (and also not because they are jerks. I think they just really want to avoid even the potential of small talk).
That person sounds potentially shy to an extreme degree, not introverted. Introvert isn’t synonymous with socially awkward or stunted (nor with rude, although you said you don’t believe this person is trying to be a jerk).
I’m learning that extroverts feel entitled to what they find rewarding, and introverts are expected to sacrifice what’s best for them in order to comply with extrovert demands. It sounds like you give compliant introverts a pass, but want to pathologize or condemn the ones who fail to cater to extrovert norms, so that’s why introversion seems relevant to me.
What? I have no idea what you’re talking about, but my point was that someone failing to return a hello has nothing to do with being an “extreme introvert.” It’s just rude, which both introverts and extroverts can be. Your coworker just sounds extremely shy.
You never know, maybe she’s deaf in one ear or something and doesn’t hear you or she’s busy thinking and it doesn’t click that you said Hi until you’re already past. I wouldn’t be too offended by it.
For any of you who grew up one of four children – did you like it? Upsides and downsides from the kid perspective? I feel like I always hear from parents regarding how many kids they want to have and how they feel about it, would love to hear from adults. Obviously this is a non-corona virus type question in this case! In a normal world say?
I’m the oldest of 4, with an 11 year spread. There were definitely positives and negatives. On the whole, it isn’t something that I would probably choose, but I wouldn’t say it was a bad experience, either.
Good sides: fun, noisy, active household, my siblings are all great people, now that we’re all adults, it’s great to have such a large family with cousins and aunts and uncles. Having to fend for myself probably made me a lot more independent and capable. Our family was well-known (good and bad, but mostly positive).
Bad sides: I did have to fend for myself a lot (good and bad), particularly as the oldest. If I had needed extra help, it would have been hard to make that known. (My baby brother, on the other hand, jokes that they basically didn’t care by the time he was a teen.) Being so spread out, I sometimes feel I barely know the 2 younger kids. Money and time was always very tight, and we didn’t get to, say, take more then very limited vacations (say, 3 days at Myrtle Beach), and there was no money for college or cars or similar.
Looking back, i am really impressed how my parents did make it work -they always made sure we could do activities and had what we needed, so it’s overall positive. Hope that helps!
I am the 4th of 4 and am lucky enough to have great relationships with all my siblings, although over the course of my 20s and 30s I was closer to 1 or 2 of them and benignly ignored the other(s). With 4, there is always someone to hang out with at the same time that others do their own thing. Also, there’s a range of ages, which also offers siblings different ways to relate to each other. In my family, the oldest and youngest were very tight for many years, and then that switched around in the ensuing decades.
I am the second of five – there were positives and negatives growing up. We are relatively close in age, so when we went out it we were hard to miss and got lots of comments. There was always someone to play with and also fight with. Logistics could get tough – spent a lot of time at my sibs’ sporting events and I didn’t get on a plane until I was 21 (plane tickets x 7 = nope). My parents did their best at treating us the same, but my youngest siblings definitely had much softer rules than I did.
All that said – as adults, we are doing pretty okay for ourselves. We keep in touch and help each other out. We are big and messy and loud and strange, and I love us.
Adding on to say – I was amazing at sharing things growing up because … that’s just how my world worked. We shared everything. As an adult, I think I’m a little more selfish than the average person – I did all my sharing before my teens!
LOL, only five people in our house total, but I definitely relate to spending all your time at siblings’ sporting events and plane rides being harbingers of untoward luxury!
I’m the oldest of four. I loved growing up in a big family and to this day, it’s really fun having a pack of siblings. We all happen to get along well even though we’re very different as adults.
Pros:
– Having playmates as both a kid and as an adult
– The skills I learned from watching my parents raise a big family has been surprisingly helpful during this pandemic (how to space shopping trips, how to stretch meals further, how to pull together to run a household).
– I don’t know how to say this, but there was a certain amount of pride in being part of something bigger than myself.
– Extended family gatherings are fun because once you add in spouses + kids, there are a lot of us. It is noisy and chaotic at times, but ultimately I’m glad we have that.
Cons:
– It was hard to get one-on-one time with my parents. And, as the oldest, I often felt like I sacrificed my own needs/wants/desires because there was always someone younger and more helpless. I’ve had to work through that mentality as an adult and still hate to ask my parents for help.
– Money was obviously tighter, but we were always well-cared-for, even if we didn’t have a ton of extras. I didn’t love that as a kid, but as an adult, I don’t see that as a bad thing at all. Makes it fairly easy to resist the extra pressure to buy and do more for my own kids.
Oldest of four. In short, I knew I would choose a smaller family for myself. The one “pro” is having other kids to play with and I grew up when everyone played outside, so it was fun. But four kids are expensive to feed, clothe and put through college, and close relationships don’t happen automatically. Though I like and respect my siblings, we’re not close because our personalities are different.
My husband is the youngest of four, with a 10-year-spread and wealthy parents. All four of the kids still complain about various perceived inequities, such as college funding (the older ones got more). The parents didn’t pay much attention to the kids, especially their academic performance, and they were basically on their own to sink or swim. They were fortunate enough to have a household employee who was like a surrogate grandfather.
I don’t think you could do modern parenting successfully with more than two kids. For one thing, schools now expect parents to do a lot of teaching at home and hand-holding during homework. Then there are the extracurriculars, camps, etc. So much money and so much time.
I have 3 kids (5, 7, 11- kindy, 1st and 5th), which is not four, but is also not two :). We practice “trickle down” parenting here, where my oldest helps the middle with homework. My younger two are only 20 months apart (but 2 school grades) so they are often on the same sports teams for a season, which is super helpful. My youngest “plays up” sometimes, which can be hard, but also enables her to play when she otherwise might not get to. Eg. right now [well, pre-COVID] middle is playing in U8 soccer in 1st grade. My youngest is in kindergarten and on the same team, even though she could technically also be in the U6 league. Youngest is NOT the worst player on the team by a long shot and the option was either to play with this team or not play. (note: youngest plays another sport too, so soccer is a “bonus” sport that she could only do if it was an add-on to the other team).
My oldest gets all 3 on and off the bus (when we had school…sigh) and into the house, which gives me an extra 20 minutes or so in the AM and PM. We do town rec camp vs a spendy camp and we also hire a sitter to take the kids to the local neighborhood swim/tennis club all summer (not free but not super expensive and includes swim and tennis lessons). If we only had one kid, we’d probably do more camp, but as it is, my kids like each other and like hanging out with other families (also in that 3-4 kid size) at the club. We’ve done Disney a few times but we do a “light” version that involves an AirBnB and 3-4 days at the park vs staying in the park and hitting the parks every day.
this sounds cool and call, but you can probably see from the other responses, that your oldest will eventually resent have to be your “trickle down” parent. I mean, there’s like a dozen people here saying that being the oldest of many sucked for them :(
I have four children and strongly disagree with this bizarre statement that you can’t do modern parenting with more than 2 kids. Really weird opinion. My kids’ school does not expect me to do much hand holding. I don’t know where these ideas came from. From my perspective, most kids today (in a family of 2 children) get a lot of unnecessary attention from parents. Let kids be kids.
I’m the second of nine, so a little out of the range you’re considering, but grew up around a lot of 4-8 kid sibling groups. The biggest benefit that I saw was always having familiar other kids to do things with–at boring family reunions, waiting for parents to stop talking after church, on road trips, during snow days, when at a new camp/sports team/school, etc. there were always other kids I knew right there with me to play with and talk to. As an introvert who hates being the center of attention, I also enjoy being able to blend into the background all the time.
The biggest downside, in my family as well as some of my friends’ families, is that raising kids is a lot of work and in the world of big families parentification is normalized because the number of kids or circumstances exceed the parents’ abilities. So you start out with an older kid “helping out” with younger kids, but then end up in a situation where your older child(ren) are burdened with inappropriate care tasks like potty training, disciplining, providing full time supervision, etc. This has adverse mental health effects on the older child, is likely a lower level of care for the younger child, and honestly often leads to there being very little relationship between the parents and the younger kid(s) because they’ve bonded to older siblings as their main caregivers. It’s possible to avoid this, especially with 4 planned children, but it is a big cultural element among large families so it is something to be aware of.
Another downside is that some parents of big families plan for their kids to be BFFs and/or each others’ main social circles (especially if the family is homeschooling). My closest in age sister and I could not be more different, and when our parents expected us to do everything together all the time, things were pretty unpleasant for the whole family because we just needed space in order to get along. I have 3 siblings in high school right now, but my parents don’t have the time to schlep them to 3 different sets of friends houses and extracurriculars, so they have to choose between going along with the oldest’s hobbies and social gatherings or staying home. While it’s great if you have 4 kids who all want to do the same things and be together, you should be prepared to have 4 different children with individual interests and needs, including space and time away from one another.
Mm yeah this is interesting. So we have three kids who all get along well and I also think evening out the numbers could be good for everyone. We have the financial resources to be able to pay for it (I envision less fancy trips and more close beach vacations but otherwise we’d be fine). But who knows what new kid’s personality would be like. But all that being said, I WOULD be hoping they would be bffs. And we WOULD be giving each kid less parental attention. Definitely not home schooling or anything like that! It just turns out my husband I like parenting!
All of these answers are great food for thought. What I’m hearing is that the kids do feel the scarcity of resources, whether it’s money or (in our case what it would be) time.
i’ve heard from some people that the shift from 3 to 4 is not as hard as some of the other shifts and that if it will not be a huge financial strain and you can outsource things, you can find ways to make your time feel less scarce. that being said, there are obviously only 24 hours in a day and the more you pieces you have to divide it into, the less each person will get, which is true whether you have 2, 3 or 4 kids.
I’ve heard that too… and yet it’s hard to wrap my head around it!
So far I’d say our second and third kids have been net gains for our family and for each kid. The middle kid might not looove being a middle, but he’s adjusted well and he’s just the type that tends to thrive. We go girl boy girl so he’s outnumbered.
One of the problems in shifting from 3 to 4 kids is fitting the entire family in the car. Some cars will fit three car seats across, or the older ones are in booster seats or out of car seats by the time the youngest comes along; however, getting four car seats in a vehicle is a challenge.
this is not my experience, but one of my housemates in college was one of 4 (their order was boy, girl, boy, girl) and she was the second oldest and oldest girl. she married someone who is also one of 4 (three boys and a girl) and they are now pregnant with their 4th (currently have 3 girls), and I know they both always wanted to have a big family, so I am assuming that for them the pros of growing up as one of 4 outweighed the cons. that being said, they both came from and currently have plenty of money, so finances were never really an issue in limiting things that they could/could not do.
I’m the oldest of 5 kids, all of whom are adults now. I get along great with my siblings and there are lots and lots of pros to having a large, close family and built-in support network. The big downside was that growing up my parents had to be extremely frugal, and it meant that money was very tight and I didn’t get to do a lot of things that my peers did. Lots of similar anecdotes to what others have mentioned. We didn’t go to the movies, family vacations were road trips to visit family or camping, no restaurants, didn’t have access to a car when I turned 16, mostly hand-me-down clothes, lots of pasta for dinner, basically didn’t ever do anything that cost money. Not all of these felt like negatives at the time (the vacations were still super fun). With 5 kids it’s also very hard for both parents to work. There are lots of things about having a stay at home mom that were positive, but there are other things that I noticed even as a child/teen like her not feeling like she could spend money in the same way as my dad.
Interestingly, only one of my siblings has a child, and three of us do not plan to have children at all. There’s an element of feeling like we already have this really tight knit family community and no need to create our own. There’s also a strong sense of the trade-offs that were necessary for our parents to have a large family, and some of us have different ideas about what we’d like our lives to look like (e.g., travel, more focus on career, time to pursue own interests).
I’m one of four, and your last paragraph describes, ironically, my one of my biggest problems with having three siblings: my family of origin does not see my husband as family, and does not understand that they are no longer my primary family.
My sister’s husband and my husband are definitely treated like outsiders and not like family. There were raised eyebrows when I was dating my now-husband and spent Christmas with his family. One person tried to completely shut him out of wedding planning, and my brother-in-law was basically sidelined when he and my sister got married. It’s… weird, and it goes well beyond the normal growing pains of parents adjusting to their adult children forming new family units.
I’m the oldest of 4 (and mother of 4), and I think it’s great. There are so many people I love in my life, and I think that is enriching. Siblings are one of the only things in life that you cannot acquire for yourself later on, so I’m glad my parents gave me 3. We’re all pretty different people and not incredibly close (we speak regularly, but not often; get together a couple times a year, but it’s not always 100% smooth given spouses and stuff). All that said, we are connected and certainly provide a support system for one another. During this covid time I feel particularly glad to be raising a family of 4 kids. There are so many different interests, different ways to spend time together, different people to hang out with even while stuck at home.
Embarrassing, way TMI question. I’m a bit of a late bloomer and inexperienced in these matters.
I self-gardened the other day. While I was… peaking, I felt the urge to pee. And I ended up doing just that, I think. It was less of a projectile squ*rt (is that a real phenomenon or a porn fiction) and just felt like I wet the bed. I had gone to the bathroom immediately before and emptied my bladder, but the fluid looked/smelled like very diluted pee.
And my bf’s reaction was less “that’s hot” and more “ew” (yes, problematic).
Google tells me that female c_m can be composed of pee, but.. I guess I’m having a hard time removing the weird shame from this experience.
I think it is not uncommon to pee, but I have usually have an ejaculation of sorts that is NOT pee. I am 100% sure because it gets collected in my vaginal cup. So…. not from the pee hole!
And yes, your boyfriend has got to realize that what he’s got goin’ on is no flower show.
Please, please, don’t feel shameful about this! I know that’s easier said than done. This happens to me as well and as someone who has a weak pelvic floor, I think it’s related to that. I did pelvic floor therapy a while ago and it was really helpful for everything related to peeing when I didn’t want to be! However, I have been really lazy in keeping up the exercises. I would strongly encourage you to investigate pelvic floor therapy once we are able to get back out and about safely. At the least, talk to a PF PT as to whether therapy could help with this!
My suggestions in the meantime are make sure you go to the bathroom before you start and lay down a towel. Remind yourself it’s just how your body muscles (?) are working at the moment – this definitely happens to me too.
That happens to me sometimes; certain positions and G-spot stimulation seem to make it worse. Honestly, I don’t think my husband would ever know if I didn’t mention it. Everyone’s producing some liquid when things are good. So yeah, your boyfriend should be more enlightened, but if he’s generally a good guy you can also just not bring it up if it happens.
This happened to me once too! Agree it seemed to be G-spot stimulation. Please don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed, your BF’s reaction was not appropriate. It’s an org*sm, for crying out loud. An intense one. When it happened to me I was solo gardening but DH has been trying to make it happen again ever since.
I’ve done that before and some men find it really hot. One “friend” says it turns him on thinking about it. There’s no reason to feel shame with any gardening aspect unless you’re cheating. Other than that, you’re good to go.
Happens to me too, and I freaked out the 1st time. I would highly recommend waterproof pads or matress cover, because it’s just nicer not to worry about it.
This has only happened to me once, and I was in my third trimester. We thought my water broke. Because I was so pregnant, we already had a waterproof mattress cover, and my husband’s goal is to try and make it happen again.
Now that we’re a few weeks in to social distancing, what have you noticed that’s been helpful or harmful to your daily routine? We’re all under more stress, but I’ve noticed that a few things have helped: 1) getting SOME kind of exercise daily or almost daily, even if it’s a simple stretching routine; 2) avoiding the endless think pieces going around (stuff like “why it matters that coronavirus _______”), 3) limiting social media time and only following positive, uplifting accounts, and 4) being intentional about my leisure time. I think #4 is the biggest one; in the past, I’ve often defaulted to mindless browsing or Netflix, but now I’m treating this extra time at home as an opportunity to read a lot and try some new things (including knitting). It’s really helped me not feel “trapped” at home.
In terms of what’s harmful, too much news is definitely #1.
Anyone else noticed any trends now that we’ve been in this a while?
Oh, I forgot to add that I finally started watching The Great British Baking Show after 10 million people recommended it to me – so glad I did! Keeping my streaming/online media to happy, low-drama, positive subjects has helped a lot.
I am so jealous, would love to watch TGBBS for the first time again!
This is my default show for whenever I wake up and can’t go back to sleep. So soothing.
Exercise.
Getting outdoors everyday, even if it’s just sitting outside and reading.
Alone time. I’ve been waking up 1-2 hours earlier than the rest of my family to get some alone time. DH stays up late to get his.
Contact with extended family and friends–even just a quick text.
Keeping some of the pre-coronavirus routines/traditions. Friday night is still pizza-and-movie night.
I’ve actually done the opposite where we have picked up a show to binge watch in the evenings and we are really enjoying having mindless time to unwind. Show we’re watching right now is Cheers – is very eighties but we’re both kind of loving it. Good tone for escaping the news these days!
Exercise and getting outdoors for sure. On work days, I typically take two walks a day (a short one at lunch and a longer one I jokingly call my “commute” that I do right after I log off). I also started bullet journaling to make it feel like I still have some control over my schedule.
I’m not normally someone who’s negatively affected by social media (not saying it doesn’t happen, just that I’ve personally never felt the need to take a break), but I ended up sheltering in place at a relative’s out of state and have a lot less to do than normal because I don’t have my books/craft supplies/SO/home projects around, which has led to a lot of scrolling until there’s nothing left to scroll. I got a Switch and Animal Crossing a week or so ago, and that’s given me something to do instead, which has really improved things for me.
A big thing has been trying to keep my news consumption minimal. Set a limit of 30 min/day for twitter, don’t turn NPR on while I’m in the shower, browser block for my news sites during work hours. Not keeping up with all of my podcasts, prioritizing the ones with entertaining banter over the ones that will focus on covid.
I work full time from home and have started putting more effort into my appearance (granted, while wearing sweatpants), putting on perfume and selecting jewelry each day. Helps me feel put together more.
In terms of work, I rely a lot on pomodoro (I use the beautiful forest app for this), but that’s hoonestly not so different from before all this.
I live alone, although my guy has been spending the weekends at my place. I find the weekday evenings to be my hardest times by far. My job doesn’t require much interaction so I’m not talking to people during the day and many of my friends are busy with their own families. After one week went by where I only talked to one person for about an hour over a period of four days (I don’t count text messages, because it doesn’t satisfy the need for human interaction for me), I basically had a crying breakdown and decided I could never do that again. The thing that has helped me the most is making plans for a few evenings a week – a call with a friend scheduled for one night, watching a movie at the same time as a friend and texting during it on another night, etc. As long as I have some human interactions to look forward to during the week, it makes it a lot easier.
I’m in-house and am interviewing for a different in-house job. Two months ago I would have been thrilled to take the new job, but now it’s so hard to figure out what is risky and what is not…how do you think about this?
Current job – high growth newly public company, I am a deal lawyer and deal with the public SEC documents. I like 80% of my job but do not like my boss and do not like the company culture. My compensation is above market for NYC in house at my level. I do not worry about the company in the next 6 months, but our business is highly capital intensive so an inability to raise debt may impact us long-term.
New job – much larger public company, recognizable brand name, business has been hit by COVID but variable costs are probably much lower. Company has a lot of cash to ride out the crisis (probably). I would be doing basically the same thing at this company for a different product in terms of deals, and would not do the public filings (which I’m good with). Company known for better culture, will speak with the hiring manager tomorrow. Comp would be brought back down to market level (acceptable).
I think who your boss is is so important to your happiness. I finally have had a couple good bosses in a row after some not so good bosses and I’m so much happier – so I’d say go for it!
Thanks – how do you think about companies that have been impacted by Covid but are still hiring? It’s hard to know what the risk tolerance in moving jobs should be at this time.
I’m also job searching, but have put it on hold for now because I want to avoid the scenario of being offered a job, quitting my current job, and having the new one fall through (considering how rapidly things have changed in a few short weeks, the risk feels real enough to me). I’ve had a few phone interviews, though, so it seems like places are at least trying to hire still.
Well, this is disappointing. I thought I was in the clear as long as I tipped delivery persons generously. I didn’t realize that the delivery apps are killing the restaurants I thought I was helping to save:
https://www.foodandwine.com/fwpro/delete-your-delivery-apps
Idk, I mean restaurants are affirmatively signing up for the apps. In my area TONS of restaurants that did not previously use these apps now do. My family has decided we will not pick up food from a restaurant unless the restaurant confirms its curb-side pick up, we will not go in. Delivery is the alternative to this. We are finding the vast majority of restaurants do not truly have curbside pick up (many falsely claim they do). So the alternative, if we can’t use delivery apps, is not patronizing any restaurants?
Calling the restaurant directly – many offer delivery themselves. They still feel pressured to join the apps since people won’t always know to call the restaurants, and it’s at least a way to get their name out there.
We’ve been not patronizing any restaurants … and it’s totally fine.
I’m curious. Isn’t the person bringing it out to the curb still interacting with just as many people as a person at a hostess desk inside? What is the difference?
It eliminates a bunch of customers touching door handles. Many restaurants I go to have two sets of doors that you have to open before you’re inside.
No one is saying you have to patronize any restaurants but if the argument is don’t use third party apps because they are cutting into the restaurant profits, hurting their ability to survive this crisis. But if the alternative is not patronizing, obviously that is the worser of 2 evils.
From a physical safety standpoint for both staff and patrons, staying home is actually best. It’s up to each person to determine their risk avoidance obviously, but let’s not pretend eating out is really the ideal here.
Staff are working in restaurants because if they don’t continue to do that the business will go under and no on will have a job.
“but let’s not pretend eating out is really the ideal here.”
Maybe not ideal, but necessary if people want to have small restaurants to go back to when this is over.
What’s that I smell…it’s Ideal Quarantine Woman coming around again to sanctimoniously critique other people’s behavior! Smells like disinfectant and self-righteousness…thanks for throwing in your $.02, whatever would we do without you explaining to us what’s “ideal”?
That’s exactly the problem!! It’s all the people who think they are saving the world by eating takeout who are the ideal quarantine woman. You aren’t letting your housekeeper come, or your childcare workers, etc but those food service workers should definitely expose themselves on public transportation, to customers, to vendors, and to each other so that you can feel like a hero when you’re eating your meal.
Most of the mom and pop restaurants closed completely in my hard-hit area as soon as the state of emergency was declared. Maybe they had sick or high-risk staff, who knows, but I’m glad I don’t have to ask myself if I want to place an order to support them because it’s obviously not safe. I have worked in food service before & would have been the person going to wrk because I needed the money even though it would’ve been the wrong decision from a personal health standpoint. Are people really being regarded as essential here, or are they being regarded as disposable? Who cares if the restaurant survives if the worker(s) die? Or does it not matter as long as someone is there to serve you?
Anon @ 3:06PM, you’re making a lot of assumptions here. I don’t have any childcare workers or a housecleaner. DH and I rarely cooked before Covid, and it is within our acceptable risk tolerance to support restaurants by getting curbside pickup and delivery. It is up to workers and restaurants to decide if they want to take on the risk of continuing to do business, not me. Some of them have chosen not to. Don’t make me and others on this board responsible for deciding what is an acceptable risk for others.
Oh, good grief. I don’t think I’m being a hero by getting curbside pick-up, but I do know that the independent restaurants I patronise are hurting. And while their risk is “higher” than it would be if they stayed home, they are interacting with the same two or three people every day, not the hundreds they normally would if the restaurants still did dine-in.
They’re interacting at more of a distance. They can place the food into your trunk or whatever; they don’t need to get up close and personal. I’m not personally patronizing any restaurants for take-out/delivery, but I can certainly see why others do it and why restaurants would want to participate.
Touch free, curbside pick up is widely available in my area. You pull up and open your trunk and sit and wait. They drop it in the trunk. In another case a restaurant has numbered their curb. You pull up and call, and they come out, place the food down in the numbered stall and then once they step back you get out and pick it up. Easier to execute in the burbs maybe with restaurants + parking fields, but it’s working.
I have not had this smooth of an experience with curbside pickup. We did it Friday, their website said “curbside pickup offered” but when we got there, they expected us to come in, and then when we said we wanted curbside, the guy who brought it out knocked on the passenger window and insisted my husband get out and take the bags form him rather than putting them in the open trunk.
My husband later said “good burrito but I’m not sure it was worth getting covid for.”
This type of thing has happened to me a bunch too. On Friday my husband went to go pick up dinner at a place that advertised “curbside pickup” and was made to get out of the car and walk into the restaurant’s outdoor patio to check in with a host table, and then stand there and wait for the food. Apparently there were so many other customers waiting they were packed in and nowhere near 6ft apart. Now we call and ask specifically what their curbside pickup procedures are first.
Nextdoor neighbor works for a small group of popular restaurants in Boston and surrounding areas. She said the apps are destroying them. Call restaurants directly. Many are offering delivery directly themselves.
Thanks for posting this. We have a few restaurants we want to consider supporting (including some that have been around for 50+ years), but I’ll definitely do curbside pickup or anything else they offer instead of Doordash.
My husband has taken to watching CNBC’s lunchtime market update program at lunch, and the other day (I think last week) someone was talking about Grub Hub as a company and how they are a giant scam and a pile of steaming ______. I’ll admit I’ve never paid attention to any of this, so I found it all fascinating. Apparently, Grub Hub has never, ever made a profit. While they have contracts with large national chains, they don’t make any money off of those, and rather they only make money off of the independent restaurants. The other interesting thing this that it doesn’t look like Grub Hub is set to make a profit in Q2 of 2020 either, even thought this is prime time for them to be making a profit because a huge amount of people are at home and ordering food delivery. I can’t seem to find a good summary, but I thought it was fascinating.
What are your favorite Fitness Blender videos? I learned about FB on this s1te and love it! I am trying to lose 15 lbs and watching my diet. I have been doing the HIIT videos everyday and throw in some strength videos, but I only 5 and 10lb weights. Also, are the programs worth it?
I did one of the programs several years ago and didn’t think it was worth it. It was just a pre-filled calendar with links to their various routines. It didn’t seem to be much more than something I could put together myself – pick 2 days for leg workouts, 2 days for arm workouts, one yoga/stretch day, etc.
I looooove the programs. I’ve been repeating the cross-training program for years. I generally run 2-3 days a week (very slowly) and do 2-3 days of videos. I like the programs because they encourage me to do videos that I otherwise might avoid; I feel like using them challenges me more and ensures I target different muscle groups. I have also used the 30 minute workout programs (versions 1 and 2), abs, and one of the others…FB Burn I think? I come back to the cross train one though.
I like a lot of the videos in this 5 day challenge series: https://www.fitnessblender.com/videos/day-1-fitness-blenders-free-5-day-workout-challenge-for-busy-people
They also give you a good idea of what the 30 minute programs are like.
Paging virtual baby shower – I posted on your original comment (link below):
https://corporette.com/most-comfortable-jeans/#comment-4015251
We had the event this weekend and it was great! Super fun – and I think the mom-to-be was excited and felt really special :-)
there were some nice ideas too on Saturday’s open thread on ask a manager!
For those of you with Divacups, how often do you get a new one? I’ve been using them for 2 decades at this point, and I remember when I first got them, one of the draws was to be able to keep them for years. I just got a new one and there’s a note on it that says to replace them annually. I totally had my prior one for at least 5 years…and a “backup” one that lived in my travel bag that was probably getting close to a decade old.
There’s definitely no need to replace annually – since when have they started saying that? They used to say 5 years, which is about what I do.
Sounds like they are trying to create an artificial expectation of needing to replace it annually in order to drive sales.
Mine is about a year old and I don’t intend to replace it until it starts develops cracks that don’t allow it to be disinfected thoroughly. It still looks brand new.
The Diva Cup has never worked for me. Does anyone have any other menstrual cup brands they recommend?
Lunette works well for me. It is – i think – one of the shorter cups, which works well for me (i guess it’s short and wide bc it does not have a smaller capacity).
I actually think it might be an FDA thing. On their page Finnish brand Lunette mention that the FDA in the US recommends replacing your cup every two or three years.
I really like the Lunette ones, which are made in Finland from medical grade silicone. I use both sizes, for different purposes. (Biggest one for days 2 and 3, and the softer and smaller one for other days.)
I trim the stems off completely.
The company was required to state that you’re supposed to replaced them annually to be FDA approved as a medical device. I’ve been using the same one for over a decade and see no reason to replace it as long as it continues to look and feel just like it did when I bought it.
This is extremely embarrassing to have to ask, but, how do you guys wash your floors? I’ve had a regular cleaning person for years and she seems to use microfiber cloths and a swiffer to do it, but I haven’t seen her do it so I’m not sure how. Last time I did this myself I had one of those mops with a sponge on it and a bucket, but it’s been thrown out now… I’ve been mostly letting it go, but my kitchen and bathroom floor is beyond sweeping at this point…
The most basic thing would be to sweep dust and crumbs up, then wipe with a wet rag/cloth. Every so often, rinse the rag in a bucket of soapy water (all purpose cleaner or simple dish soap). I’ve gone down on my hands and knees when I had no other tool, but that gets annoying fast unless you have tiny kitchen and bathroom. That’s where a traditional mop or the swiffer that you clip the rag to help.
I have the mop/bucket system that wrings water out for you by spinning the mop.
+1 – I have this one too. O-Cedar or something like that. I feel like it works pretty well. If you don’t want to order one, you can just use the microfiber cloths with your hands. Or honestly, just step on the cloth and use your feet as the mop. I haven’t cleaned my house in years (myself) and one of the biggest things I miss during this time is my housekeeper!
One of my favorite games right now is looking at the container of cleaning products my house cleaner uses and thinking “hmm…I wonder what she uses this one for….”.. I miss her dearly.
Also research which cleaners work best on your floor type. Hardwoods are finicky because of the moisture absorption.
Jolie Kerr (Ask a Clean Person) is my idol. She has done a few posts on this topic in various outlets over the years, but here’s a good recap on how to clean every surface of floor, including what products to use and instructions on the mechanics of mopping vs cleaning floors by hand.
https://www.thehairpin.com/2011/09/ask-a-clean-person-its-time-to-talk-about-your-floors/
Thank you all!
It’s totally embarassing how much I rely on my cleaning person. I can’t wait for her to come back.
This is me, too.
I like the wet swiffer. It’s easy and gets the job done.
But the wet swiffers sheets were backordered! Not sure if they still are, but I saw some on Amazon marked up to $88!
Oh didn’t know that. I actually saw some at the grocery store last time I went.
If you want to feel less embarassed– we realized when we tried to clean our house ourselves that we did not have any cleaning supplies (lysol, etc., we have a vacuum) and can’t buy any right now so we’ve been attempting to clean our house with vinegar.
I’m actually in a similar boat — my cleaning person is all about natural cleaning. So all I’ve got is vinegar and Dr Bronner’s soap and I have no idea what she does but everything is usually sparkling clean. I snagged some clorox wipes and a bottle of clorox spray cleaner just before this all started and I’ve been using that on doorknobs and the sink that I touch right after coming in from outside, but other than that I’m relying on dish soap and hope.
White vinegar is amazing for so many cleaning purposes! I know I’ve preached about it on here so many times that a lot of you are probably sick of me talking about it. It’s great for deodorizing towels in the wash (it also works as a fabric softener) and it is the best thing you’ll ever find for cleaning mirrors and windows (use newspaper instead of paper towels, too!) Pretty much anywhere you use windex, you can use white vinegar — mix it with a little blue Dawn and it’s great for cleaning bathtubs and sinks.
For those of you looking for a way to clean floors, I have an O-Cedar spray mop with a refillable bottle on it. Armstrong makes a floor cleaner that works on nearly all floors (tile, laminate, wood — you just want to be sure to test in an inconspicuous place just to be sure it won’t damage your floor’s finish.) I’ve found for a laminate wood floor, a couple capfuls of this cleaner in some REALLY hot water works great. The mop is similar to a Swiffer, but comes with a reusable, washable mop pad. You can buy additional mop pads as well as disposable mop pads that can be washed and reused up to about 10 times on that river site everyone hates. So far it’s the only place I’ve been able to find the mop pads, but they are worth it. I ended up buying this mop when everything else I tried (Swiffer WetJet and similer wet mops all left the laminate wood floor streaky and with a residue.) This one works so well — the floor dries almost instantly.
Vacuum (I have a Dyson) + steam mop. My steam mop is a Shark. It has microfiber covers that you just throw in the wash after.
Same. Vacuum and then steam mop. Microfiber, no soap.
I use a mop and a bucket with soapy water. Every now and then I will get on my hands and knees with a rag and really get into the corners and along the baseboards.
I’m a big fan of scooting around with a soapy wet rag under my feet.
Hi Wise Hive – I may report in afternoon thread as I’m posting late for the morning, but wanted to get some weight loss advice in the circumstances. I went through a depressive episode for about a year and a half and completely stopped exercising for that time and also pretty much lived off of pizza and various carbs, so I have gained weight on my whole body but most noticeably my stomach and back. Now that I am medicated and doing better, one of my resolutions for 2020 was “get old body back”…but I did not realize what a sh*tshow 2020 was about to be! But for all of the closures, I would have bought personal training sessions on the pilates reformers at my gym. That is obviously not an option and I am not really seeing much progress from my home workouts. I enjoy yoga, pilates and barre but realize that these aren’t really high-impact for weight loss and are better for toning etc. I’ve been trying to do some HIIT workouts at home but am not sure how long/how many a week to do to see effects. Do I need to just suck it up and start forcing myself to go on runs outside? TIA!
I blew out my left knee trying to run without building up to it, so please be careful! I’m trying to buy a bike, but that’s been a minefield as well. For me, working out was just not enough. I had to eat clean and track what I ate – either tracking macronutrients or calories (I did calories). I lost 85 lbs and, even though I can’t do much exercise right now, I am losing weight because I’m not eating as much with a different sleep/work schedule. I’m still trying to eat healthy and I allow myself one splurge dinner per week.
You don’t need high impact exercise to lose weight. You can do it if you like, but you can also just do the pilates or whatever that you enjoy.
The best exercise program is one that you are able to stick to! Something to get your heart rate up, whether that’s HIIT or running (give dancy stuff like zumba a try), is probably good to have in the mix, as a general rule and especially while you are not getting out of the house.
If you were going to splurge for a personal trainer anyway, maybe you can find somebody that will coach you via videochat through some HIIT or you can pay to stream a great zumba class from a nearby studio.
I recommend checking out the book “Strong Curves” by Bret Contreras and Kellie Davis. They have an at home program in the book, and you can graduate to their weightlifting program once the gyms open back up.
Hive- I have an interview for a new role on Wednesday, via Zoom. There has to be video. What is appropriate interview wear in this Covid-19 reality? Role is in finance (Asset management). Should I wear a blazer or suit jacket when it is obvious I am home? Can a button up by itself work even thoygh this is finance for a client facing role?
I would wear a blazer or suit jacket even though it’ll be clear you’re at home.
Blazer or suit jacket for sure. I have been wearing a blazer as the interviewer on video interviews. If you dressed less formally for a video interview than you’d dress for an in-person interview, I’d question your professionalism, maturity, and judgment, especially in a client-facing role.