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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
The moody floral print on this Halogen top looks absolutely perfect for the fall and winter seasons. I always find myself unconsciously swapping out my bright colors for darker hues as the days get shorter, and this blouse would slide into the rotation quite nicely.
I would wear it with a midi skirt and some boots for a fun fall look, or fully bundled up under a sweater blazer once the weather gets a bit cooler.
The blouse is $79–$89 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 1X–3X and XXS–XXL.
Sales of note for 10.10.24
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- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
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- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
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- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Anon
Thanks to whomever posted the Tina Muir winter running outfit post last week. I was struggling to do whatever conversion is needed from mainly indoor winter athleisure wear to winter night outside turning gear. I’m just doing 2 miles at the end of the day, but the first quarter of that is COLd! Also highly recommend Noxgear vest and lamp clip-in for visibility.
I’m a very old and very new runner and didn’t want to quit now that it is dark. I usually run a sub-12 mile but my first run in the dark was so cold that I ran a sub-10 mile (just one, not both miles) for the first time since high school.
anon
I posted that, and your post makes me so happy! Crazy that your time improved that much just because you wanted to stay warm. Runners: we’re an interesting bunch. :)
Anonymous
Damn, that is fast! I’ve been running regularly for years and my easy runs are still usually 12-13 minute miles. Team SAF! Enjoy your winter runs. I sometimes think I like running in 30 degrees a lot more than 80 degrees with humidity.
anon
I hate going out when it’s 30 degrees (mentally, it’s hard) but I agree that in the end, I often end up enjoying those runs more!
Jane
I have a direct report who is 5+ minutes late to all meetings. I haven’t said anything yet because its vaguely in the realm of when people at our company join meetings, although its usually closer to :03 than :10. She basically says she loses track of time. She’s great at her job and very diligent, so I really do think its that she is paying attention to other things and not google calendar.
The thing is now there have been multiple meetings where everyone else is waiting for her to start. About 3 minutes past meeting time is usually when everyone is in the meeting and settled and ready to start, and then we have to decide whether or not to wait for her. Would it be nitpicky to tell her that even 5 minutes late is too late?
Anon
No, if people are waiting on her that’s unacceptable.
Anonymous
As someone who struggles with time blindness due to ADHD, it’s not nitpicky. I also suspect it’s not intentional.
I would raise it with her and ask that when she accepts a meeting invite, she considers setting an alarm/timer for 5 minutes before the meeting is due to start and signing in at that time. I would highlight that it is affecting her reputation with colleagues and that a good way to address that is to use a specific strategy to ensure timeliness. I try to sign in as soon as I get the notice in outlook 15 minutes before the meeting – often it’s just the waiting room that is open but then it automatically joins the meeting at the time so it doesn’t matter if I get distracted in the 15 mins between.
Jane
I certainly don’t think its intentional! Time blindness is probably the word for it, although overall it doesn’t seem like she has ADHD.
I don’t know if she has that 5 minutes before notification, I’ll ask/recommend that she do that. And join immediately when she gets the notification – otherwise I’ve found its easy to forget again in those 5 mins.
anon
The funny thing about women and ADHD is that it presents very differently than men. We’re really good at masking and creating systems that hide it. I’ve been doing it my whole life without realizing it was ADHD until recently. It explained A LOT. Time blindness is real. I love the suggestion above and may need to implement it for myself.
Jane
Yes, I know – I have what therapists like to call “ADHD tendencies”. Apparently not the time blindness part though. Although I have a LOT of systems around it, things like this, so its hard to tell at this point.
Anon
As someone who can be prone to time blindness, I found that the easiest thing to do is to join five minutes before and shut my camera off until meeting start.
Anything that can be snoozed is NOT my friend.
Anon
+1 on setting an alarm. Since I started doing that, I can focus deeply on my non-meeting work and still stop in time to transition to the meeting.
go for it
No, be very direct about it. The rest of the attendees should not be punished for being on time.
Anon
I am very much like your direct report and hearing from you that it is an issue is what would motivate me to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Anonymous
No it would not be nit picky and you’re not doing your job by failing to address this with her before others start noticing. “Jane, you need to do a better job of being on time to meetings. Set a reminder! Check your calendar more.”
OOO
Does she have back-to-back meetings? In our office we schedule 55 minute meetings (usually ending at :55) so everyone has time to get to the next meeting, take a bathroom break, etc. This applies to in-person and virtual meetings.
I have no patience for people who are late to meetings. If I am leading a meeting I start it at :01. Otherwise it’s not fair for the people who showed up on time to make them wait. If people are late then they will miss the info we covered in the beginning, and hopefully they will learn to be on time, at least for my meetings ;)
Jane
Not back to back meetings.
Honestly I think its kinda the opposite – she has a pretty reliable schedule and not too many meetings so she can just works heads down and doesn’t really have to keep checking Slack.
Cb
Ah, this is me. I don’t have a ton of meetings, and find if I get stuck into writing or teaching prep, time will pass me by. I set an alarm on my phone which helps, but I also think the suggestion to just login ahead of time is a good one so you hear when everyone joints.
Anon
I’m the same way. I have days with a lot of meetings and then days with almost no meetings, where I block out time to write reports and work on presentations. If I don’t set multiple reminders/alarms, I will not come up out of “deep focus” mode to get to a meeting on time. I figured this out myself, but it seems like OP’s direct report might need some coaching about this. There are lots of potential strategies here for the employee; telling the person “make your brain work differently” is not one of them. My ability to go into deep focus mode/flow state is actually a really great thing for the kind of work I do; it helps tremendously. I just need some performance supports to help me on those days, so I fulfill the rest of my work obligations.
Anonie
Definitely not nitpicky – the only way it would be nitpicky is if there were no substantive impact on anyone’s work, and you were enforcing some arbitrary standard. Here, the time of the group is being wasted, AND she is outside the company norm – if it’s generally accepted to trickle into a meeting 3 or so minutes late but not 5, it’s completely fine to let her know that.
anonshmanon
it sounds like you are operating on Google calendar. There is a setting that will forcibly take her to the calendar tab from another browser tab when a meeting is about to start. Sounds like that might be useful for her to try out. A colleague of mine who has tons of meetings, lives by that little nudge.
Jane
Ha I love that, I will look into this! This really might solve the issue.
Anon
OMG, I needed to know this! I don’t have problems with time outside of work, but somehow always seem to forget about meetings after the five minute notice. I’ll have to figure out how to turn this on
NY CPA
If I have important calls, I set an alarm on my phone for 2 minutes before the meeting starts to remind myself, or maybe 10 min before for 9AM meetings in case I’m not ready yet. Maybe she needs a similar separate reminder thats not just on Google Calendar and might be easy to miss?
NYNY
I work for an organization with a culture of virtual meetings all starting 3-5 minutes late, and I feel like there has been a slow creep over time where people who used to join before the start are joining at the scheduled time or a minute or two after, and people who used to be 3 minutes late are now 5 minutes late. I wish I could force meetings to be more timely, because the start of every meeting feels like a waste of my time. But if I dismiss the reminder in outlook at the meeting start time and then try to get in one more task before I join, then I end up being late. Maybe your report is doing something similar?
Ses
I have the time blindness – I generally change the reminder on every invite to default to 5 minutes, and then I snooze to 0 minutes because I can get off-task in 15 or even 5 minutes
Anon
This is similar to yesterday’s post about folding laundry during a video call. You are her manager. One of your responsibilities is to help her grow and develop her career. She is acting in a way that can only hurt her reputation. Why have you not addressed it? The longer this goes o. The more it reflects poorly on both of you. You are her manager, do your job and manage her.
Anon
Concur. I don’t line the idea of managers just letting people twist in the wind. For all you know, she will think she’s losing her reputation because of her unprofessional water bottle and not being late to meetings.
Anonymous
This was happening to me occasionally because there was an issue with my Google calendar alerts, and I saw you mentioned Google calendar. My Google calendar alerts very frequently get turned off somehow (not by my doing). Then I was joining calls late because I wasn’t seeing the reminders.
Now I check that the alerts are on every morning when I start, which solved the problem, so that might be a solution to mention.
Anon
This is essentially the same as the post yesterday about folding laundry during a video call. Your direct report has been acting unprofessionally and you have not addressed it. Part of the job of a manager is career development and you are allowing her to continue behavior than can negative impact her professional reputation. And the reflects back to you as a manger. You are a manager, so do your job and manage her.
Jane
Chill out for a second. This has only been really happening for a couple weeks, and it also isn’t “having an impact on her reputation” yet. I have corrected her on plenty of other things when needed – she is being managed. I haven’t seen whatever this laundry post is.
Anonymous
Are these on-line meetings? What I have noticed about on-line meetings is that people will schedule them back to back, when they wouldn’t have done so for in-person meetings. (Here I am talking about the person putting the meeting on the calendar, not your direct report who is accepting the meeting.) There is really no way to get to the second meeting precisely on time unless the first meeting wraps up 5 minutes early. If this is happening, you need to change the culture around meeting scheduling.
Anon
I am kind of surprised by all of these suggestions for HER to not let this happen. I would expect a grown-up in a grown-up jo to be able to figure this one out on her own, not for her manager to have to provide scaffolding and suggestions for something so basic to being a functional adult. Yes, tell her she needs to be on time, but she ought to be able to figure out how to do that on her own.
Jane
These are good suggestions, I see no problem in giving her some ideas that might help!
Anon
This is exactly what I was thinking! She is a professional adult and needs to get to meetings on time, and if that is a problem for her she needs to figure it out!
Anonymous
Part of managing is also helping reports learn the particular workplace. It doesn’t just have to be ‘do X, make it happen’ it can be a discussion. A little ‘you need to improve X, have you considered trying Y’ can both help the employee and encourage communication. I know which manager I would prefer to talk to if I’m struggling in another area.
Anonymous
It’s not OP’s obligation to make it easier for her report to be on time but it is a kindness to share tips and tricks that are useful and someone may not know about – like the Google functionality noted above.
Anonymous
Different people come from different backgrounds with different expectations about punctuality. I would not assume that a quite junior person automatically understands that it’s not ok to arrive to a meeting 3 minutes after the posted start time, and I think it’s really problematic, especially from a diversity perspective, especially if it might be disability related, to scoff and say not my problem when this is your direct report.
Anon
I said the same thing. You’re a manager. Manage her. If she’s never on time and everyone frequently has to wait for her, then that’s a downgrade on her performance appraisal and possibly time for a performance improvement plan right now.
Anonymous
Actually that’s not managing her. Managing her is catching the problem before it needs to go on her annual review and coaching her to improve. Monitoring and penalizing isn’t managing, it’s low-level supervision.
Anon
Which is why I said performance improvement plan.
Anonymous
PIP is for documenting when you want to fire someone. This isn’t that.
Anon
You can absoltely be fired for being chronically late! It’s better to let the employee know that you are serious about this. As a long time manager I have used Performance Improvement Plans to improve performance, and it has worked. First you talk to the employee, then if it keeps happening, maybe you have a second talk or maybe you break out the PIP. It depends on the employee. But in a ranked performance environment, which most companies are these days, it is a kindness to let an employee know as soon as possible that they aren’t meeting expectations, and give them a plan to improve.
Everyone else on those calls notices a chronically late person. It’s not only rude to them and wasting everyone’s time, but if there are other managers involved in that call who also have to do ranked performance appraisals, they’re definitely going to bring it up as a reason OP’s staff member should be ranked lower.
As a manager, it’s your job to manage your employee’s performance. There should be no surprises at performance appraisal time.
Anonymous
I was 5 mins late to a meeting once. The death stare my boss gave me was a good reminder to never be late again.
Anonymous
Not my company, but a colleague who works at a different similar company said he was 3 minutes late to a Monday 8am meeting one time and the big boss told him to leave. I LOLed at that quite a bit.
Looking for conservative Judaism conversion resources
In part because of recent events, I’d like to formally commit myself to Judaism in a meaningful way, which for me means a formal conversion in conservative Judaism. I’m the Washington area, and the one resource I could find is a sketchy link that doesn’t appear to have been updated in 10 years. Does anyone know of resources for conservative conversion in the Washington area? Thank you!
Daniella
Look into Adas Israel or Agudas Achim! Both do conservative conversions.
Sixth & I is also an amazing synagogue. They do a full Jewish welcome cohort class that culminates in conversion if you choose to do so. Best of luck in your journey!! :)
Anon
Try Adas Israel or Sixth & I.
Anon
I love this! Are you in DC proper? If so, I agree with the suggestions. You could also reach out to the organization USCJ (United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism) to ask for suggestions. They divide by region. Wishing you a meaningful process
Anonymous
Hello from a fellow Washington-area person going through the conversion process! I’m going through reform but I know lots of people at Adas and it seems great. Also Tifereth Israel in Shepherd Park might be worth checking out.
Anonymous
Would you ever consider allowing a buyer to move in before closing?
We accepted their offer end of September. Buyer is using VA loan and everything was going smoothly until a few days before closing, when VA lender suddenly realized they hadn’t found out if townhouse was VA approved. Now they are scrambling to get the appropriate documents from HOA and have been non responsive to status updates. Buyer needs to leave current home in a few days as it has sold and new owners are taking possession. We feel bad for buyer, but see so much risk and liability on our end if we were to allow them to rent temporarily. Namely, what if deal doesn’t go through, risk of injury or property damage, our insurance doesn’t cover renters, we would need to register as landlords, HOA technically has to “approve” a rental and they are slow as molasses also, etc etc. Buyer also has 3 dogs so that’s an additional liability. We want to be kind but we also want to protect ourselves in this society.
Trixie
No, I would not do this…it is too risky, and there are airbnbs and other options for them.
Anon
F no.
An.On.
No, non-responsiveness on the lender’s part is a bad sign, and the risk is on seller’s (your) side if HOA or VA end up pooping on the deal. It’s an unfortunate situation, but also not yours to fix. I’ve had closings where buyers are allowed to move some items in early or have contractors go through the property, and even that is a negotiation and carries risks. I wouldn’t let them move themselves and three dogs in while you have no real timeframe to close and from the sounds of it, there’s a chance the loan might not even be approved in the end??
anon
I cannot say this strongly enough: Abso. Effing. Lutely. NO.
Liability. Insurance. Trust. Omg the list of things that could go brutally wrong is absurd. Not the least of which is they could somehow damage your home and then tell you that it has to be repaired in time for the official closing. Yikes. No. Don’t do this.
Anon
I literally laughed out loud at this. You’re absolutely right.
Anonymous
Not a chance in hell
Anne-on
Absolutely not. Maybe I’m a negative person but I’d also give your realtor a heads up – it could be possible that financing falls through and you need to relist.
Anonie
+1, VA home standards are verrrrrrrrrrry picky.
Anon
+1. I’m an attorney that does residential real estate transactions. VA loans are not a favorite because they have very, very specific requirements of the home prior to closing.
Anonymous
I would not. It will be a stressful time for the buyers and I really feel badly for them, but that’s what hotels are for. If you really, really, really feel bad for them, credit them $1k at close to pay for their hotel. But this is wholly unnecessary.
Anon
Honestly, that’s just female socialization talking. OP, you know you don’t want to do this and it’s a bad idea so don’t. This is a business transaction and not a charity outreach case.
anon
DO NOT DO THIS. For real. Come on.
There’s 0% guaranty that this loan actually goes through. Do not toss them any amount of money because of how you feel for them personally. This is transactional and keep it that way. As others have mentioned, VA loans are extraordinarily particular. Your next move should be to call your broker (why weren’t they all over this btw? We sold to someone with an FHA loan and my broker was all over them making sure they were hitting key milestones, FHA-specific tours and paperwork were done, etc, so that our closing was not delayed).
NYNY
Sounds like the delay is all on the buyer’s side, so no need to credit them anything. There’s no need for OP to share the burden.
Anonymous
What the fork? No! The seller’s should not be giving away money because of FEELINGS.
Also I cannot echo the others loud enough as a former Realtor and current lawyer ABSOLUTELY DO NOT LET THEM MOVE IN BEFOR CLOSING.
Anonymous
What?? No! If this is your approach, I urge you to explore this and have somebody sanity check your big financial decisions.
Anonymous
What the F !!! NO NO and even more strongly NO. If you let them do this you are officially the biggest wimp on the planet and deserve the consequesce.
Anon
As someone who has been on the other side of this – is there a garage they could move stuff into? I totally get the concerns but could you say ‘so sorry, there were complications but we understand you can’t move your stuff into a short term rental you can use x garage as a storage unit’.
Anon
Dont do this! The VA loan can fall apart and then what? House needs to be relisted, and now you have someone else’s crap in the garage.
Anonymous
There’s no reason they can’t move stuff into a storage unit.
Anon
Their stuff goes into a storage unit, simple as that. There are a lot of potential problems for the OP with having their stuff at her house. A few: the would be tenants might use more than the garbage. They might want to come and go and get at their stuff. If there is a theft or fire, the OP could have legal liability. They could refuse to live their crap out if the OP needs a different buyer.
Or… a storage unit, which are all over the place and literally designed for this exact situation. The OP isn’t an owner of a POD or UHaul storage company. Let the pros handle it.
Anon
Um no. It’s not OPs problem to solve and not even likely they’ll end up being able to buy the house.
Anon
Yeah, absolutely not. They could definitely rent an AirBnB for a week or two.
Anonie
ABSOLUTELY NOT. VA paperwork can take foreverrrrrrrrrrr, like weeks or months, they often require additional inspections and certifications. (Source: have bought 2 homes with VA loans, both of which needed pest remediation and certification prior to purchase.) Buyer is just going to have to put their things in storage and get a short term rental, unfortunately. They are the appropriate risk-bearer in this situation. Buyer could just as well ask their buyers to delay closing for a few weeks so they don’t have to move, as they can ask you to move in early – both are equally reasonable (which is to say: not). In addition, I wouldn’t be surprised if your sales contract technically doesn’t allow you to rent out the property while the sale is pending (though of course the buyer would waive that in this situation), and likewise a typical rental agreement wouldn’t allow you to sell the house out from under a tenant – again, all of this is moot if the buyer is cooperative but things can turn south.
It doesn’t sound like you are concerned about the money, which could change the calculus, potentially, since there is the upshot to you of having the cash flow from the property during the delay.
Anonymous
No.
They can deal with it via storage unit rental and Air BnB.
BeenThatGuy
This is what I had to do. I was a single mother of a toddler at the time. It was some really hard weeks but home buying/selling is one of the most stressful things you can do!
Anon
Not in this situation. I’ve seen the reverse — when the buyer wants an earlier closing date (for purposes of rate lock, etc) so they close the deal and then rent back to the seller for a few weeks until the seller is ready to move (end of school year, etc). VA loans are tricky. We recently sold to a couple with a VA loan and it was a long process but relatively smooth; I’d be wary if there were big hang ups.
AnonATX
No. No. No. If the sale fell through and they didn’t want to leave, it could take months and a ton of legal fees to evict them.
Anon
Echoing the chorus of F no, that hasn’t closed yet!! I’d talk to your agent about a backup that’s probably going to fall through.
Anon
I’ve done a rent back to the sellers, which was the opposite situation. It was fine. But putting together a lease fr that situation on short notice, nah. Their realtor should have been more on top of it. Lenders like USAA (if that is who they chose) are notorious for not having their act together.
Anon
I don’t know you, but I’m begging you – don’t do this to yourself. The risks are way too high.
Anon
Definitely not. This is not your problem to solve.
anon
We used a VA loan to buy our current home and it is kind of a PITA. When we sold our first home (also a va loan), we weren’t closed on our current home yet. We spent a couple weeks in an Airbnb until the second home was fully closed on and ready.
Anon
I say this as someone who often bends over backwards to accommodate other people: not your problem. It requires more than just effort or niceness on your part; it requires an assumption of liability. If this deal falls through, it will make it extremely challenging for you to sell your house; you will need their permission to show it, and new owners aren’t going to want to deal with the cluster of evicting would-be buyers.
They can put their stuff into storage and rent a Residence Inn. Doggies get boarded if the Residence Inn doesn’t take them.
Cat
Nope.
Anon
Don’t let them move in, don’t pay for their hotel, don’t let them move their stuff into your garage. I was in a vaguely related situation selling my house. Of course, the agents (even mine) and buyers wanted me to take on all the risk to solve the buyers’ problem. You can feel sorry for them without literally paying for a mistake on their end.
Senior Attorney
Absolutely not. This is not your problem tp solve.
Anon
Absolutely not. We sold our last house and bought our current house with the dates lined up perfectly. Then the buyers’ loan faltered and they ended up needing another 30 days. We let our old house sit empty for 30 days rather than let them move in as tenants.
They eventually got a loan, though not their original loan, then defaulted on that loan a couple of years later and according to the neighbors, disappeared in the dead of the night. They also trashed the house and the bank sold it at a loss. I am so glad I didn’t take any chances by letting them move in in hindsight!
anon
Waaaaaaaaaaaait. Did we all just reach consensus?!?!?!?!
11/2/23. It happened.
Anon
It’s happened once or twice before but SO rarely!
Anon
I really want to know what those other times were!
Anonymous
I think it’s happened once or twice before telling someone their SO is abusive and encouraging them to get help.
Cat
Taking Amtrak instead of flying between downtown DC and Manhattan was one of them, lol.
Nesprin
Only and only if they could close early would I consider letting them move in early. Especially if their loan may be falling through, letting them move in early would be really dangerous.
Formerly Lilly
It’s a really bad idea for you. Your new mantra should be “not my circus, not my monkeys”. Repeat as needed.
Anon
I did this when I bought my house because it took for effing ever to close. I had a separate lease from all the sales contracts and stuff but the rent amount was zero. It was fine.
Josie P
To the poster who is having vocal fatigue after talking a lot: go to your PCP and ask for a referral to vocal PT. It’s a thing! I had it when I was yelling at my kids from downstairs to upstairs (and I also sing so I felt like my voice was getting tired too much) and it was SUPER helpful. :)
Anon
I have this after very long presentations (2 hours). I find a cup of tea or just hot water works great.
Very Anonymous
What is your favorite lotion? Specifically, I’m looking for:
– One that doesn’t smell too fragrant
– One that has SPF
– One that can be used on face and body alike (primarily face, neck and hands)
Bonus points if it’s available at CVS or similar. Thank you!
Anonymous
Cerave ultra light face lotion with sunscreen. It has a matte finish. I have tried lots of higher end products and keep coming back to this one! I use it year round.
Anon
I use this too and I like it.
Anonymous
Another vote for Cerave or Aveeno. I switch between them by season, but they are reliable ’empties’ for me and I always finish the bottle.
Anon
https://www.neutrogena.com/products/skincare/neutrogena-hydro-boost-city-shield-water-gel-sunscreen-broad-spectrum-spf-25/6811347.html?tilePosition=11
Anon
I keep going back to Clinique Dramatically Different.
Anon
I use this every day, it’s moisturizing and it doesn’t break me out or feel greasy:
https://www.aveeno.com/products/protect-hydrate-body-lotion-sunscreen-spf-60
Ses
+1
Anon
The problem with lotions or moisturizers that contain spf is that most people don’t use enough to get the advertised SPF level. For that reason, I’m team separate lotion and SPF.
I like asian SPFs and recommend lab muffin beauty science or fiddysnails on IG for the latest and greatest recommendations.
Anon
Trader Joe’s face cream. It’s in a four ounce bottle, and it’s only four bux. SPF 15. I use it when I have to take the dog out and don’t want anything heavy on my skin.
DB Cooper
+1! It’s great. Absorbs quickly, doesn’t smell weird. I wouldn’t wear it for a day at the beach, but it’s fantastic for normal workday incidental sun exposure.
Anon
You should use real sunscreen instead of a lotion with a tiny amount of SPF.
Anon
Best 2023 footless tights? I have plenty with feet for pumps or flats but if I’m wearing boots, I like a sock at the bottom and not foot of tights + sock.
Anon
For those of you with AWD cars or SUVs that you take off-road, what do you drive and do you like it? Nothing extreme for me but my life has changed where I need to drive unpacked mountain roads several days each month. I want to hear from you vs someone trying to sell me whatever is on the car lot. I once got a VW stuck on a rock, but I’d love to not have a super-tall vehicle (like a Tahoe, which just feels too big). I haven’t tried the Sienna AWD but am hoping maybe someone here has it and uses it for gentle off-road driving (like gravel). Rain and mud and ice are more issues than snow. And I know that AWD doesn’t work on ice :)
Runcible Spoon
Subarus are reliable and generallly have good undercarriage clearance along with all wheel drive. The Crosstrek is based on a sedan, while the Outback and Forrester is based on an SUV platform. Check them out!
Anon
+1 longer comment in mod but 10/10 on the Subaru Outback.
Anonymous
I have taken my Subaru Outback up several VERY questionable mountain roads and have been wholly surprised I have not gotten myself into trouble (I make poor decisions here) so 10/10 would recommend.
Anon
Road here should really be “road”.
Anonymous
There’s a reason Outback’s are everywhere in mountain towns. Especially older Outbacks.
Anon
I have taken my AWD car on plenty of dirt roads but not off-road – it’s a Volvo XC70 wagon. It was also great in unexpected icy conditions.
Belle Boyd
I have a Hyundai Tucson that I drive around on some back roads at our camp — some of these roads are steep mountain roads that are dirt and gravel and receive very little maintenance. Several of them were washed out this summer from heavy rains, so there was a lot of loose gravel, shallow ditches, and potholes to navigate, and our camp is all gravel roads, too. I have the option to use 4WD and have never needed it, so the AWD works great. It runs great in the snow, too!
PS — the big secret is good tires — even with AWD, if you have crappy tires, it’s AWD is not going to do much for you, so be sure your tires are always in good shape. (I’m a mechanic’s daughter — it’s been preached to me since I learned to drive, so I’m just sharing the gospel!)
Anon
Thanks — OP here — this is perfect and sounds like the roads I am dealing with.
Anonymous
Anyone in Northern VA willing to share their favorite cosmetic dermatologist? I haven’t yet tried Botox or lasers, but am also starting to be bothered by some skin changes (lines, age spots) and I would like to explore my options. I’m looking for someone who supports using these tools to achieve a natural look.
Anon
Following with interest! I’m looking for Botox in Northern VA or MoCo.
Anon for this
Marjan Yousefi is my regular dermatologist, but she also does all the cosmetic stuff. Now that I’ve finally resolved my decades of acne (with her help!), I’m going to talk with her at my next visit about laser or other options for reducing scarring. She has offices in Tysons and Arlington.
Anonymous
I need to fill out associate reviews. I absolutely hate the format my firm’s new HR picked – every partner is required to evaluate at least 8 associates, and it’s a 9-page form with both numerical rankings as well as essay-type answers. I regularly work with two associates but have maybe had one project (like, 3-6 hours of billable work) all year with a handful of associates. I want to respect HR and get that associates need feedback, but I am dreading how long it’s going to take to fill out every form. Plus, I hate number rankings (how professional are they from a scale of 1-15? What does that even mean!). Any encouraging words appreciated…
Anon
Find out if the goal is to separate into “fine/not fine” or “amazing / fine / not fine”. At my firm, everyone was fine or not fine in years 1-4. The “fines” could stay and the not-fines were counseled out. Then it became how to distinguish between the awesome / fine group where the awesomes likely stayed to make partner and the fines could stay if busy or trying to step it up.
anon
Hear me out. ChatGPT.
My husband used ChatGPT for his self-review. Before anyone comes at me/him for this, (1) his company is being acquired and has been basically told, though not yet final, that he doesn’t have a job after the first quarter, so he’s utterly disengaged and apathetic, (2) he says he put in what he wanted to say and it spit out what ended up being about 70% of the final answer. I did something similar for cover letters on some random applications I worked on recently. I would have scoffed at the suggestion until I tried it myself. It really, really helped me get a 50-70% head start and then I customized and hit it home from there.
Associates / direct reports deserve feedback, and mine get it year-round because I personally think I’m a halfway decent manager, so if there’s a way to help organize your thoughts and make this go a little faster for you, I wouldn’t think twice about it.
Anon
That’s a great idea, these exercises are ridiculous.
Anon
I think ChatGPT is a super idea for this kind of exercise. It will save OP a ton of time. Confession time, I use it for chunks of reports that are basically just explanations of a concept that isn’t specific to my organization, and as you say – I have found it really useful for giving me a 50-70% head start on things and then I customize/adjust from there. Saves me a ton of time.
Anon
Yeah I use ChatGPT as a starting point all the time. It’s great.
Anonymous
Yup I use chat GPT for this too.
anon
Put all of your detailed feedback in the first essay box. Then, unless there is something specific for the next boxes, you can put “see above” in the remaining essay boxes. On the ranking, I tend to go high on the numerical for check the box sort of stuff (e.g., professionalism) – reserving exceeds expectations for the truly outstanding associates.
Anonymous
This is not in line with how most people do numerical rankings. You can think it “should” be a certain way all you want but the fact is most people give 5 for everything and anything below a 5 is a red flag. You’re doing your associates a real disservice that probably impacts their compensation.
And whether you know it or not you will get a reputation among associates, especially senior associates who are looking toward partnership, as someone they don’t want to work for because you give bad reviews for good work.
OOO
PSA: If you need help with holiday cards, you can text your family pictures to 22737 and Minted will design the card for you. They have designed our Xmas cards for the past three years
Sorrento??
This group is always so good for travel tips so I would love your thoughts. I will be heading to Naples/Sorrento for 5 nights in April. This is mostly to visit Pompeii, but I want to see more of the area. Any recommendations? My plan is to stay in Sorrento except for the last night when I will spend the night in Naples to be close to the airport. That said, I am open to suggestions.
Thanks all!
Anonymous
Sorrento itself is lovely and I’d highly recommend but we found you can see a lot of the town we found wandering around in the evening after dinner etc so would suggest day trips. I’d really recommend a day trip to positano and you should also look at herculaneum if you are keen on Pompeii.
Anon
Visit Praiano, positano, and amalfi. And definitely capri if you have the time.
Anon
Early or late April? The Amalfi coast can still be kind of shut down in early April, so if you want to do day trips you may be limited to private driver vs bus or ferry. I think things open up more after Easter but I’m not sure the exact date. Anyway, Sorrento is great that time of year (I’ve been there in late March) and I actually prefer it to Positano
Cora
I went to Sorrento over easter break, had a fantastic time. Be sure to go to the Limoncello farms (or whatever they’re called).
Anonymous
Check out Viator for day trips/tours/classes
Light hearted scrolling
I feel like I’m way too old for sites like buzzfeed but I do still enjoy a light hearted or humorous listicle or article. Where do you get that sort of content? Im not on social media.
Anon
I don’t think Buzzfeed has an age limit?
An.On.
Feel like McSweeneys is the way to go unless you’re wanting current news stuff.
HFB
mcsweeneys
NaoNao
The Reductress has some amusing stuff, and occasionally Vulture will get into light-hearted stuff.
Runcible Spoon
Perhaps you might enjoy Wonkette?
Lily
Starting to plan a trip to Paris for next June for my family (me, husband, and two girls ages 3 and 5). I’ve been to Paris many times (but not since 2009) but my husband/kids haven’t been yet. We took our first Europe trip with the girls this past June and it was great, so hoping for a repeat success.
Would so appreciate any specific recs for the following:
*Hotel or condo (6 or 7 nights) in an excellent location for tourist-ing with two bedrooms (would only consider one bedroom + decent size sitting area and 2 beds or a bed and pullout sofa for something truly spectacular). Having a small kitchen area like in an airbnb would be fantastic but we also love the amenities of a hotel. Budget up to $1500/night, hoping to get something that feels fancy for that price.
*Vegetarian (and picky eater) friendly (but not only vegetarian/vegan) restaurants. Kids will eat pizza, pasta, grilled cheese/mac n cheese, and not much else for lunch/dinner, which I know is not ideal for France. Willing to eat Italian most days so any specific recs are welcome. Is mac n cheese (or pasta alfredo) something that Parisian restaurants might have even outside the Italian food context? For breakfast/snacks, planning to eat all the pastries.
*Museums/sights/playgrounds/etc. that a 3 and 5 year old would enjoy. I’ve seen all the major attractions but I was a teen/young 20s most of the times I went, and not sure if there are newer things I don’t know about for kids.
Thank you!
Anon
One fine stay for great apartment rentals and other concierge services.
Anne-on
+1 – we used them in London and it was SO easy. Having space to spread out, in unit laundry, and a kitchen made the trip so much easier for us as a family. The ‘fridge fill’ service and being able to rent the apartment from the night previous to check in early AM on our arrival day for reduced rates was SO nice.
Anon
You can do the same trick with the night before at a hotel so you can check in as soon as you land. Highly recommend if it’s in the budget.
Cat
Luxembourg Gardens mini sailboat rentals!
Anonymous
No you can’t readily get mac and cheese in France. Come on
Anonymous
Right? Please put me up in a fabulous hotel in Paris and then let me eat all of the things I would eat at home.
Lily
I’ve definitely had macaroni gratin in France before. But wondering how widespread that is.
Anonymous
It isn’t. It’s an American dish. It isn’t on menus and it’s not common. If your kids will eat a grilled cheese try a croque monsieur. Steak frites might work. An omelette if they like eggs. But if you’re just talking like a French resistant don’t expect pasta with cheese.
Flats Only
Plus the kids might surprise them. I was taken to Paris as a finnicky 7 year old who didn’t like meat and discovered that Steak au poivre was wonderful, and had it for every possible meal.
Anon
Maybe not the Kraft kind of mac & cheese, but fancy mac & cheese, absolutely!
Anon
Is it that hard to speak nicely to people?
Anon
Honestly? I’d recommend a different place. Save Paris for when the kids are older. We’ve been to Europe half a dozen times with kids under 5 and Paris was by far our worst trip. As you noted, food in France is a challenge for picky eaters with typical American palates, and personally I don’t understand going to Paris just to eat Italian food – why not go to Italy? Parisian restaurants will definitely not make your kid mac and cheese if it’s not on the regular menu. Most restaurants don’t even open until 7 pm, which can be hard with little kid bedtimes. Your kids are too old to snooze in a stroller or carrier while you visit museums, and too young to have any appreciation for historical and cultural stuff. We found people in Paris were much less welcoming to kids than in the other European countries we’ve visited.
Some of my favorite European spots for preschoolers: Florence and Tuscany, Mallorca, Seville, the Algarve Coast of Portugal and the Alps (we went to Germany, but I think Austrian, Swiss, Italian etc Alps would work too).
Anon
I was thinking the same thing. What about England with kids? Lots of restaurants like pubs with kid-friendly food.
Anon
I think England or Ireland would be great too.
Anon
Yeah – I have to say, I don’t think Paris is the best vacation choice for kids this age. There’s a lot of walking, and these kids are past stroller stage, as you say. The kids apparently don’t eat much outside of the Standard American Diet for Children (aka chicken nuggets, pizza and mac and cheese) so that’s going to be a challenge. For me, All The Pastries would not be compensation for dragging two little kids around Paris, whining and getting tired and getting bored, etc. While children live in Paris, the experience of being a tourist in Paris is different, and there are not many kid-friendly tourist attractions or sights that I can recall. Plus, the kids won’t remember the trip, most likely, or if the older one does remember it, the memories will be of being hot, tired, being dragged around to uninteresting (for her) museums, etc. I have a kid, whom we have traveled with a lot, all over the place, and I would not attempt this trip.
OP, go to Paris with your husband and leave the kids with a grandparent. Plan the family vacation for someplace closer and way more kid-friendly. Everyone will have a much better time, including you.
NYCer
I posted below with some kid friendly recs, but OP I would also consider this. My husband’s family lives in France, hence the reason we have been to Paris numerous times with kids, but in general, I also agree that ages 3 and 5 are not necessarily the best time to vacation in Paris.
Anon
I don’t think you have to give up on Europe completely. I enjoy traveling there with kids even if they’re too young to remember it. I just think you’ll likely want to find something that’s easier with kids and where the adults will feel the trip was worth it even if they barely make it to any official sights, which is not Paris, at least for me.
I’m a broken record about Italy, but the food could not be easier for picky American kids (any restaurant will make you plain pasta) and Italians have an adoration for kids that is above and beyond what I’ve observed elsewhere. And other than Rome (which I also wouldn’t go to with kids this age) you’re mainly there to eat and drink and soak up the scenery, and you don’t feel like you need to pack multiple museums into a day. I also think if you’re really set on France, some place like Provence or Brittany would likely be much better than Paris. In general big European cities are not my favorite with kids in this age range; I find small cities and the countryside much more relaxing.
anon
Yeah, my kids are that age and I would not even think of taking them to Paris; I really don’t think they would appreciate it at their ages (let alone remember it) and they are similarly picky eaters who basically eat white carbs and chicken nuggets with some occasional fruit thrown in there. I agree Italy makes much more sense!
anon
David Lebovitz has a lot of Paris recommendations on his blog. I think there are also some guest posts about kid friendly activities.
Emma
Some hotels have family suites, but they won’t have a kitchen typically, so if you want that you may want an apartment, in which case I second the One Fine Stay recommendation.
There are Italian restaurants all over Paris. Some are excellent, some are tourist traps. Without knowing where you’ll be staying, here are a few I like: Marzo (one location in the 7th near St Germain, one location in the 16th), all the Big Mama restaurants (multiple locations), Chez Bartolo and/or Pizza Positano on rue des Canettes in the 6th . I’ve taken my baby to all of these and they were nice and welcoming – in general, try to go a bit early by French standards (so 12 for lunch and 7 for dinner) so it’s less crowded. For brunch, both Cafe Mericourt and Holybelly were very friendly to our baby (warning – they are popular and can fill up quickly).
Mac and cheese is really not a big concept in France, you might be able to find it in some locations but not everywhere, and boxed Mac and Cheese is not widely available at the store. Children’s menus often have a “coquillettes au gruyere” option which is basically elbow pasta with cheese, so kind of the French equivalent. Hamburgers are a pretty common bistro fixture if that works, and most places will have a pasta option but it may not be Mac and Cheese. If the weather allows, we enjoyed a lot of park picnics. You can get pretty good sandwiches and salad from most boulangeries.
There are playgrounds pretty much everywhere. Some favorites are Jardin du Luxembourg (note: you have to pay for the big playground, but it’s pretty cool and fully fenced so your kids can run around). There is a fun carrousel with a kind of jousting game where kids have to pull off rings. On weekends, there are pony rides in the alleyway next to the Carrousel. And for little ones, there’s a nice area right across from the Orangerie Museum called “Luco des touts-petits” that has sandboxes and a splashpad and is technically reserved for kids under 4, I don’t think they will fuss about your 5 yo. It also has grass to sit on. The Tuileries has big trampolines and a little fair with rides (you need to pay, but it’s not super expensive). Parc Monceau also has a lot of kids stuff. The Jardin des Plantes has a small cute zoo and the Galerie de l’Evolution which is a natural history museum and pretty fun. Wherever you’re staying is likely to have a playground nearby, and there are lots of Carrousels everywhere. If you want to get out a little, Jardin d’acclimation is a small, old school amusement park on the outskirts of the city and right next to the Fondation Louis Vuitton (modern arts so more for adults, but the building is cool).
The Instagram account “Le Petit Guide” has a lot of kid-friendly recs. They also organize kid-friendly tours if that’s your thing.
NYCer
Jardin d’Acclimatation is great for kids. There are also fun carousels at the Tuileries and Jardin des Plantes. Square Gardette is a small, beautiful park in the 11th with a playground and sandbox – Brasserie Martin is good and kid-friendly nearby.
I would not expect to readily find mac and cheese or pasta alfredo at typical French restaurants. We like Cojean (it is a chain) for a quick, takeout lunch. Lots of vegetarian options, and you can go sit in a park and eat.
NYCer
As for accommodations, I second (or third) the recommendation for One Fine Stay. You could also check out Paris Perfect – I believe that they have family friendly rentals as well.
Anon
Look to see whether Time Out has a Paris with Kids guide online. They used to. It will have all the recs.
I love the Hotel San Germain des Pres. They have suites, likely no kitchen. The hardest thing in France with a toddler was getting fresh (not UHT) milk.
Anon
Fresh milk is increasingly popular in France. If staying at Hotel St Germain, the Monoprix on rue du Four/St Germain has some.
Anonymous
What’s wrong with UHT milk
Anon
Huh. I’m American and we always buy UHT milk at the grocery store…. I think most organic milk in the US is UHT? I’ve never thought of it as a European thing.
Anon
We have UHT milk in the US too. In the US it’s sold in the refrigerated section because Americans think warm milk is gross. In Europe, milk is often sold at room temperature. But the pasteurization process is the same! And the milk will taste exactly the same if you refrigerate before drinking.
anon
The food is going to be a big problem for you and your kids. I’d seriously reconsider.
Anon
Don’t go to Paris with picky eaters. That is missing the entire point of Paris.
Go somewhere with bad food like London. (I said what I said.)
Anon
Ha, I’m with you (and my mom is British!) My husband seriously offended a British colleague by making an offhand comment that the only good food in the UK is Indian food. I do love a good Sunday roast though.
Lily
I’m not a foodie and so no, food is not the entire point of Paris for me and my family. Different strokes for different folks . I go to France for the language, art and architecture.
Thanks all for the recs!
Anon
Sounds like you’re set on France, but I would seriously consider a different part of the country. There are many parts of France that are more family-friendly than Paris.
Anon
Then get a place with a kitchen so you can make your kids junky food.
Lily
Wow the judgment on this thread is unreal. My bad for posting on the main s*te where people hate young kids and moms of young kids.
By the way, my kids eat several whole fruits and vegetables daily. I do not consider pasta or pizza to be “junky” food. I suppose everyone else’s 3-year-olds are eating salads, steak tartar and escargot on the regular. Good for you!!!
Anon
I agree some of the comments about “junk” are judgy, but fwiw I’m a mom to two young kids who are picky eaters and I’m one of the ones who said not to go to Paris. I think you should listen to what people are saying rather than just getting defensive. Paris is a hard place to visit if your kids only eat bland American foods like mac and cheese and pizza. Obviously if you have family or some other good reason you need to go there now, you’ll survive. But if there are other places you can go, I’d think seriously about delaying Paris.
Anonymous
Omg no one hates moms or kids. I just think maybe reflect on the level of naïveté of saying you’re rich enough to spend $1500 a night on a hotel but assume your kids can eat their very limited diet of not French food readily in France.
Anon
“I go to France for the language, art and architecture.”
I love those things about France! And it would have been really, really difficult for me to appreciate those things with a 3 and 5-year-old in tow, when I went to Paris.
I am sorry you’re getting advice that isn’t what you wanted to hear from people, but some of us have older kids, and have had some vacations that have gone sideways, and are trying to spare you the agony we experienced when we overestimated our kids’ capacities and patience levels on trips. See also: maybe folks want to spare you the experience of being seen as the Ugly American in Paris, asking for special food for your kids and taking kids places they won’t enjoy, and where people will not enjoy seeing them. I completely co-sign that Paris is not kid-friendly the way, say, Florence or another Italian city is kid-friendly. But hey, do what you’re gonna do! Hope it works out for you – and your kids.
Anon
+1
NY CPA
I stayed at the Westin Vendome which was an absolutely fantastic location and felt quite nice. I had a standard room but still got a beautiful view from my room of the Tuileries gardens and could also see the Louvre. They have deals for 50% off second room for children if you book 2 rooms. With that, you could book 2 rooms within your $1500/night budget. I would suggest calling the hotel to see if they have any adjoining rooms available.
Senior Attorney
Serious suggestion: A day trip to Paris Disney.
Anon
Serious suggestion: A day trip to Paris Disney.
NYCer
Ha! I almost suggested this too. My kids LOVE Disneyland Paris, but we have also been to Paris numerous times given the family connection, so I wasn’t sure how a first time visitor would feel about it. :) But OP, seriously, Disneyland Paris is a nice-sized, not super crowded, manageable park for a one-day visit. If you want a break from the language, art and architecture aspects of the trip, I would highly recommend it.
Anne-on
A close friend did this with her 7 and 9 year olds in the middle of a weeklong trip. She said it was fantastic – something to remind them of to look forward to when they got tired of the art/walking. She also mentioned that it was kind of nice to have a day of ‘typical American’ food in the middle of the trip. The train from Paris is apparently direct, very easy, and clearly labeled.
Anon
Hotel Kepler on rue kleber
Anon
If I apply body lotion with SPF before bed, will the SPF still work the next day assuming I do not sweat overnight?
anon
I doubt it since SPF breaks down over time.
Anonymous
I think it’s sunlight that causes the SPF to break down. Otherwise it would break down in the bottle.
Anonymous
It will stain your sheets.
Anon
Don’t sleep in SPF. You can’t expect it to work the next day, and you should give your skin a rest.
Anon
I barely watched John and Kate plus 8, but i was surprised to hear that the kids are all out of the house now and Kate Gosselin is basically living a very humble life without a lot of $$. Didn’t she make millions of dollars on her multiple shows? How did she go from there and each kid having 6-figures in their trust funds to not having money for daily living expenses? Did she not save or invest any of the money? I feel kind of bad for her because no one wants to have 6 kids at the same time. I have twins and the sleep deprivation from the twins’ early years was another level of torture.
Anonymous
So much to unpack here but Kate isn’t the victim
anon
this.
Anon
It looks like they didn’t do all that many shows – a couple of full seasons plus some cancelled seasons and small little runs.
With eight kids and presumably attendant college costs, I imagine that she is being smart and investing the money, rather than living high and burning through it.
Anon
So I think Kate Gosselin is the only person who can answer the question “what happened to all her money.” Having 8 kids isn’t cheap, and a lot of these reality-show celebrities who do make money (and many of them walk away with basically nothing – read what some of the Love is Blind contestants have said about basically having to go in the hole to be on the show) spend it fast.
That’s thing about empty nests: no matter how many kids you have, they grow up, and at some point you’re on your own. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the kids end up rebounding back home (which I think is perfectly fine, BTW, especially given how expensive housing is most places). But the show stopped filming quite some time back; I am not sure if past episodes are still airing on any channel, but even if it is, residuals are not likely to amount to tons of money. A few celebrities have come out in recent years and basically said, “we do not make nearly the money people think we do,” and with inflation, it’s not hard to end up in a situation where people are barely making ends meet. I think that’s one of the core reasons for the actor’s strike, actually – they’re trying to secure better residual payments and also better up-front compensation from the streaming services.
Anon
This is what I was trying to say above.
Let’s say they made $5M from the shows and books. They got divorced, so that’s $2.5M each. That’s very comfortable amount of money! But that has to feed, clothe, house, and educate eight kids, so there is no living large. That’s a comfortable middle class life, wherein you keep working and have some money for extras.
Anon
No no no. $2.5M by the time you are 40 is not a middle class life, no matter how many kids. This board really skews perceptions, but that is RICH. With proper investing this money could continue to grow for a long time.
In the US, upper class is roughly a net worth of $1M / yearly income of $200K or more.
Anon
Yes, this. This board’s perception of wealth is wild. I agree with the 1:52 poster’s numbers as an average, although I think they could be adjusted slightly upward in a HCOL and downward in a LCOL area.
My husband and I barely clear $200k and have a net worth barely over $1M if you include our home equity, and we are rich. No question. If you think having $2.5M does not make you rich I would like some of the drugs you’re taking :)
Cerulean
This hypothetical is $2.5M in income, not investments. That would work out to roughly $100k per year of her adult life, which is solidly upper middle class in many (most?) places but not what I would consider rich, especially with 8 kids. Of course this is all based on a hypothetical number…
Anon
You only think that because you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Poverty level for a family of nine (Kate plus eight) is about $50k a year in the lower 48. A family of her size is Medicaid eligible (for the kids) when they earn up to $95,000 a year. That isn’t comfortable; that isn’t living large; that’s poverty level.
That money doesn’t “grow,” are you foolish? She’s probably spending $100k a year on mortgage, food, braces, clothing, a big enough car for everyone to fit, car seats for 8 kids, the occasional vacation, health insurance, copays, sports stuff, and then the whammy of 8 kids in college all at the same time.
You also don’t understand the difference between retiring at 60 with $2.5M in the bank (your money only has to last you 25 years and the kids have presumably flown the nest) versus retiring at 40 with $2.5M and *eight kids to raise.*
I’m thoroughly middle class and if someone gave me 8 kids and $2.5M, I certainly wouldn’t be quitting my job, buying a great big mansion, and jetting off to Europe.
Anon
It’s just north of Medicaid eligibility, Cerulean. Do you consider something very close to Medicaid eligibility to be rich? Why? Why do you consider income of 2x the poverty limit to be rich rather than obviously middle class?
Anon
The vast majority of Americans don’t fully fund college for their children. My parents did and I plan to, and it’s an amazing gift to give a kid if you can afford it. But suggesting someone is poor because they can’t put 8 kids though college is absurd. Most people don’t even put 2 kids though college.
Anon
No 3:08, the hypothetical is that when they got divorced they each probably ended up with a sum of $2.5M. That is a net worth and objectively that is upper class in this country. You spend some each year and invest/park somewhere with interest the other $2.4M until the next year, etc etc
The barometer for upper class is not buying a mansion and jetting to Europe. Plenty of rich people (around here and in this country) have deluded themselves that the wealthy are “other people.”
Anon
You can definitely be “rich” without never needing to work again. Never needing to work again (at a very young age) is like mega mega wealth. I’m late 30s and objectively rich but my husband and I need to continue working until at least 60 or so to maintain our standard of living.
Cerulean
Anon at 3:15, you seem to be replying to the wrong person.
Anonymous
They were on reality tv before there was a lot of money in it. 6 kids are expensive and at least a couple had medical issues. Plus they had 8 kids total (two older girls). Their tv show actually wasn’t on for that long. Just their divorce was so dramatic and contentious that it seemed like they were around forever. And no reruns to make $$ from.
Seventh Sister
At least one of the kids was in a residential school for behavior issues, which are generally quite expensive. When my kids were small, I found the show fascinating because it seemed like she was really trying to helicopter eight kids and Jon was way, way more “go with the flow” about the whole thing. I’m sure that’s mostly editing, but it also seemed like she didn’t have a lot of friendships or contact with relatives.
Anon for this
I’m sure a lot of money was spent for the divorce from Jon and other legal actions she’s taken in the years since.
Anon
Just because she has a job doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s poor and can’t afford daily expenses. She lives in a nice house and seems pretty uptight, so I wouldn’t be shocked if she was saving and investing for the future. I know she seemed unpleasant from her tv show but now that I have kids though I kind of get why she was like that.
Photo Book
Any recommendations for photo books? I want to create one as a holiday present, with the ability to do multiple photos on each page (with different layout options). I have used snap fish in the past, but wondering if anything better is out there.
Anon
Artifact Uprising
test run
+1 artifact uprising’s books are really nice, though they are kind of expensive. I made some wedding photo albums through shutterfly and while they weren’t as fancy as the artifact uprising ones, they were much cheaper and I actually think the print quality was comparable.
Anonymous
Do they charge by page? I use mixbook and my books are so big they’re like $300 even with their 50% (or whatever) code. Extra pages really add up!
Anon
I used Printique fka Adoramapix.It’s pricey but good quality.
Cat
I’ve been happy with Mixbook. Wait for a promo code.
Lydia
I love “free photo books” (the app) (you do pay shipping and for upgrades to hardcover, etc, but very easy and reasonably priced)
OOO
Mpix makes beautiful hardcover photo albums, and they are 40% off right now
Anonymous
For not-fancy, I just use Shutterfly and do the custom option. They always have a discount code; do not pay full price. I used Printique for my wedding album and it was honestly not as great as I had hoped for the price–they screwed up the printing the first time and were good about sending a replacement, but I’m not sure the quality was that much of a step above Shutterfly.
Anon
Mixbook. I could only afford Artifact Uprising for my wedding album.
Anon
I have another question about tipping. I just got a dog and will be visiting a dog groomer for the first time in my life. The groomer appears to work alone and isn’t an employee. Should I tip? If so, is 20% standard?
Anonymous
I wouldn’t.
Me
I don’t tip when people run their own operations and set their own prices. If I go to a spa, I tip for my massage; if I go to an independent massage therapist, I pay whatever the person charges and don’t add tip. So in this instance, I would not tip.
Anon
Different POV. Your dog groomer will be critical to your dog care going forward. Ours is a sole business owner and we tip 20% every time. We also always get in no matter what, and when your dog rolls in something gross or gets skunked, you’ll never regret having the ability to jump to the front of the line.
Anon
+1
anon
+2. We’ve been using ours for almost 10 years and my dog loves her. She’s a sole owner too but it never occurred to me *not* to tip tbh.
Anon
No, you don’t tip business owners.
Anonymous
our dog groomer runs her own business out of a rented space in a doggy day care and we tip 20% but its hard to find a good dog groomer in our area and she always works with our schedule and frankly I feel like I need to keep her more than she needs to keep me haha
Anonymous
does anyone have a good way for storing t-shirts that are the same color? my black t-shirt drawer is always a mess because i can never find the one i’m looking for.
Me
I hang them up for this reason.
Belle Boyd
I have the same issue. I bought a bin off The River (it looks like linen basketweave – I can’t seem to find the link right now since the site is giving me issues and won’t load for me) that fits on a low shelf in my closet. Folded all my black tees the same size and stood them on end in the bin so I can see which one I am looking for. I just did this, so I can’t vouch for how well my system works, but at the moment it looks a LOT better than what the overflowing drawer/closet shelf did!
If anyone has any better ideas, I’m all ears. But please don’t suggest ditching the black tees. I live in them.
Anon
I hang up all my shirts.
NYNY
I fold them and stack in the drawer with the neckline facing me, since that’s the way I can most easily tell them apart. Many black tees is one reason I would never do the Kondo method.
BeenThatGuy
I recently watched the documentary on David Beckham and he staggers them in a pull out drawer. This clip from the Today show is a must watch for folks who love to organize! He does it all himself.
https://www.today.com/home/david-beckham-closet-organized-rcna119779
Books on Middle East
For the poster yesterday who asked about resources for learning about the pre-WWII Middle East, I recommend Osman’s Dream which covers the Ottoman Empire and its conquest (and eventual loss) of the entire area. It is an excellent book and a relatively easy read.
I also suggest spending an hour or just browsing a good timeline of the Middle East beginning with the founding of Jericho. There are a lot of resources. Honestly, Wikipedia will give you a good overview. It is helpful to understand the waves of conquest/migration from all sides that impacted the area and why it is so important to so many people and also the lack of clear national boundaries pre-dating 1945.
Anonymous
I like A History Of The Ottoman Empire
By Douglas A. Howard which came out in 2017 for a readable for general readers and is an up to date history.
The book includes a lot of maps which is helpful for people less familiar with the scope of the Ottoman Empire at various stages. It’s listed as over 400 pages but if you exclude the maps and illustrations and photographs it’s more like 300.
Anonymous
What about fiction? I’ve read Exodus but would love something else
Anon
Not sure how this happened, but I lost a pair of black Justin roper-style boots. I went to open the box today and it was empty. If you were going to replace in 2023, what exactly would you get? I’m having boot-shoppers block. I liked that they had a flat heel and weren’t super-tall, so would go under boot-cut pants.
Anon
I’m an original cowgirl from back in the day so I prefer “real” boots with a full shaft (which is not knee high, more like lower mid calf), a softly pointed toe, and a Cuban type heel. I have boots from Justin and from Lucchese. I like the Justin better even though the Lucchese were more $$. I tend to judge them by fit first and embroidery second, but that’s hard to do if you’re not in person.
If you want a lower shaft boot I’d go for a non western style like a lace up granny boot or a pull on Blundstone.
Anon
I’d get new Justin ropers honestly! I like how understated they are, and they’re so comfortable.
Sunshine81
Is there something between a lightweight raincoat and a winter coat that would be good for walking the dogs when it’s cool and damp, but not cold and snowy? I’m finding that I don’t seem to have the appropriate jacket for this. My Columbia rain jacket is unlined and while I can layer under it,I feel like I may need a more substantial rain jacket. I do like that it hits at my mid-upper thigh rather than at waist.
Similar question for pants. What to wear to walk in the rain, especially umbrella-free (two dogs)? Rain pants? And in the cold, snow pants?
Anon
Cleverhood over a puffy. Will also keep your legs dry.
I have given up with raincoats b/c the cleverhood also covers a backpack.
anon
barbour
NYCer
+1. You can add a vest under too.
newAnon
I have a Lands End jacket that is kind of slicker material on top with removable quilted interior. works well for damp without liner and damp+cold with.
Monte
Similarly, I have the Eddie Bauer Girl on the Go trench with a removable lining and a hood. It’s long enough that I do not worry about the pants situation — I just wear my normal jeans while dog walking.
Snow pants and the like are for outdoor recreation like skiing/boarding, where I might wind up on the ground or am spending several hours outside on a windy chairlift. Not for my normal neighborhood walks.
Anonymous
Columbia waterproof lightweight mid calf length parka. I add a vest if really chilly days. And knee high rubber boots (eg Hunters). I only wear the coat for dog walking so I keep treats/bags in the pockets and don’t have to worry if it’s a little muddy.
Anonymous
The lines Eddie Bauer girl
On the go trench
Anon
+1,000 this is my workhorse
Seattle Freeze
I have a Fjallraven insulated cape that is awesome for dog walking. It’s waxed cotton so very water resistant, a big hood with faux fur trimming that’s very warm (adjustable and removable), snaps to tighten up the cape with armholes, and a giant kangaroo pocket. Keeps me dry to my knees in windy wet weather, and goes over everything, so comfortable in the 40s with a sweater & t-shirt under or below zero with a fleece over the sweater under the cape.
Raincoat
I have the Lands End waterproof insulated raincoat, and it’s awesome. I wore it on a rainy day in Alaska on my recent cruise; many other people on the trip skipped that port due to the rain, but my raincoat worked so well that the weather didn’t slow me down one bit. They have promo codes all the time, so you can almost always get it for under $100. It’s mid-thigh length and hooded, and if you pair it with lined waterproof pants, you’ll be good to go.
Anonymous
Get something meant for the UK market. This is what UK brands excel at.
Anonymous
Helly Hanson has great insulated waterproof jackets and rain jackets! I have a black thigh-length one that’s sleek and warm…perfect for my walking/train commute downtown. I actually chose it over the often recommended Eddie Bauer trench, which had too many belts and buckles for my liking.
My husband has a giant HH one that comes down to his knees and looks kinda overkill but keeps him very dry. He got on super clearance during the pandemic fire sales…I’m pretty sure it’s from their professional line geared toward fishermen and sailors.
Anonymous
What’s a good gentle soap for little hands? Kid’s hand is getting bloody from repeated washing at school all day using generic soap and is prone to this every winter. School said we can bring our own soap. At home we don’t have issues but I suspect it’s because we are supervising handwashing and drying, whereas at school there is a tendency to oversoap and underrinse and not dry hands enough.
Anon
I think you probably need to be applying lotion at least twice a day, and ideally send lotion to school for them to apply too. That will do more than switching soaps in my experience as the mom of a kid who has sensitive skin and eczema and is prone to bloody, dry hands in the winter.
Anonymous
Thank you for this suggestion! We are going to try a new lotion called The Ocean Healed My Eczema but if you have any suggestions for lotions that have worked for your kid, I would love to hear them.
Anon
We have an Aveeno gentle lotion we love but unfortunately I think they discontinued the exact type. We bought a ton of bottles a few years ago and haven’t used it all up. I recommend the brand in general though! Good luck. Skin issues are no fun. :(
Anonymous
Cetaphil is great for soap. Also teach to moisturize after washing.
Anonymous
Like the face wash? That’s a good idea, it’s so gentle.
Anonymous
Yes – we used to send a pump bottle of the face wash and one of the lotion so the lotion was right there afterwards.
Anon
The aveeno oat body wash should be fine as a hand soap.
Anon.
We like the Hello brand and Meyer’s Clean Day.
Anon
Gold bond eczema relief cream. Comes in tube.