ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 212 Comments

Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Floral Rumple Blouse

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I find blouses like this to be so versatile that I always have at least two or three similar ones in my closet at any given time. The long sleeves mean that you can wear them on their own without a jacket, but they’re not full-length, so you won’t have to worry about the cuffs peeking out under a blazer. The length is great for tucking into skirts, but you can untuck them and have a little rear coverage if you’re going for a more casual look with leggings or skinny pants. The print is interesting, but not so memorable that you couldn’t work it into a very regular rotation. What more could you ask for? (In fact, it reminds me of our Hall of Famer NYDJ Perfect Blouse.)

The blouse is $44.40 (marked down from $74) and available in sizes XXS–XXL. (Do note that it seems to run large, so you may want to size down.) Floral Rumple Blouse

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 1/22/25:

  • Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
  • AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
  • Ann Taylor – All sale dresses $40 (ends 1/23)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything
  • Boden – Clearance, up to 60% off!
  • DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
  • Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
  • Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
  • J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
  • J.Crew Factory – End of season sale, extra 60-70% off clearance, online only
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – extra 50% off

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

212 Comments

  1. Anyone read anything amazing lately? My read around the world continues but I’m a bit stalled on a book from Benin. Magical realism isn’t really my thing.

    1. The Lager Queen of Minnesota and Kitchens of the Great Midwest, both by J. Ryan Stradal, were fantastic. Non-fiction I highly recommend Save Me the Plums by Ruth Reichl and Maid by Stephanie Land. Less recently I read and really enjoyed The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, which was great. I also like anything by Beatriz Williams (except her first one); she’s a little formulaic, but I think they’re always good.

      1. I really enjoyed both of J. Ryan Stradal’s books! I love books that have a strong sense of place, and those totally do that for me.

        1. I really liked these too, as well as The Great Believers and The Overstory mentioned below and Olive, Again (the sequel to Olive Kitteridge). Books I read recently that weren’t quite as amazing, but relatively quick and still good reads were Nothing to See Here, Dear Edward, Such a Fun Age, and Long Bright River.

        1. I have not — thanks for the links! But the Ophelia figure in RAVEN TOWER is amazing and definitely not crazy either. :)

      2. Wow, I read the Raven Tower because I liked Ann Leckie’s other books and I TOTALLY missed the Hamlet stuff… I enjoyed it but now I feel like I need to read it again with that in mind!

    6. The Rules of Magic. A friend recommended it as a good fun read and I devoured it in a weekend.

      1. I used to love Alice Hoffman back in the day. I will have to check this out!

    7. Just finished The Calculating Stars — alternate history involving a lady who becomes an astronaut in the 1950s. Amazing!

      1. I am in the middle of Ronan Farrow’s Catch and Kill and it is riveting, but it’s definitely not escapism. Try also The Robber Bride or Cat’s Eye by Margaret Atwood (not dystopian or science fiction-y like some of hers, although I like those too). I want to read American Dirt but have mixed feelings because of the controversy surrounding it.

        1. Wow, I also listened to it on Podcast. What a great book! How sad that men are such pigs and do such horrible things that they are FINALLY begining to be called out on. I think the jury will have some difficulty believing that all of these beautiful women voluntarily engaged in consensueal s-x with Harvey Winesteen. Personaly, I do not care how much money or power a man has. I will NOT submit to s-x voluntarily with any man I am not attracted to. And he had a pretty wife, who I assume has now left him. Some people never have enough. FOOEY on them. I will not be a party to any of that! DOUBEL FOOEY!

    8. Girl Woman Other by Bernardine Evaristo was fantastic. I also loved The Overstory by Richard Powers and The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai.

    10. I picked up “Ain’t Nobody Nobody” from the library on a whim and LOVED IT. Currently I’m reading “How Long Til Black Future Month” by NK Jemisin and it’s excellent. I also just finished “After the Funeral” by Agatha Christie, because if I wait long enough between reads I forget who did it. Ha.

      1. Haha, I thought I was the only one who did that with Agatha Christie books too! I also adore NK Jemisin’s triology, and have recommended How Long Til Black Future Month on that basis without actually reading it myself, whoops.

    11. Just finished The Age of Miracles and The Dreamers by Karen Thompson Walker. Loved them both and wish there were more. Also, yay for free ebooks from the library!

    12. I love nonfiction so will throw in a recommendation for what I’m reading now – “Humble Pi: When Math Goes Wrong in the Real World.” I was a liberal arts major and definitely asked “when will I ever use this in the real world” A LOT in calculus so this answers that question (and makes me feel like I’m a bit smarter for having read it). Also listening to “Stay Sexy, Don’t Get Murdered” on Audible which I’m enjoying, even though I’m not a fan of the “My Favorite Murder” podcast.

    13. I loved the Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes (and I’m not a fan of all Jojo). Another recent 5 star in my goodreads that I don’t think is an obvious best seller is After the End by Clare Mackintosh, but may be triggering for some so read the description first. For pure, fun escapism, Elin Hilderbrand, always.

    14. Sherry Thomas’s Lady Sherlock series is fantastic – it starts with A Study in Scarlet Women.

      I just started listening to Love Lettering, by Kate Clayborn – it features a calligrapher in NYC and is cute and fun so far.

    16. I just finished the Great Pretenders (nonfiction about psychology) and really enjoyed it. The Revisioners by Margaret Wilkerson Sexton (fiction about two women in New Orleans several generations apart) was also excellent.

  2. Just saw Tuesday’s comment from the poster whose daughter needs to eat more fiber – I’m in the same boat, and I’ve had great success with Kirkland Signature Protein Bars (found at Costco). Each bar has ~14g of fiber, which is almost half my daily allowance as an adult. There’s a chocolate brownie flavor that’s pretty tasty. If your daughter doesn’t like the consistency, try heating them up in the microwave for 10 seconds or so. Also try the Mission Carb Balance Tortillas – the small ones have 9g of fiber, and you can use them for wraps and sandwiches. I even toast them and break them up for chips (dipping salsa, guac, etc). Links to follow – good luck!

    1. That was me!! Thank you so much, she eats with a typical adult palate, so if they are not outwardly gross (like fiber one cereal is)
      then I bet she’d go for them, even occasionally. She likes all the fiber one cookies, whole wheat pastas, etc. I got her some supplements while we adjust and it was so frustrating to find that even the adult ones have ~5g!

      My only bug challenge now is how to moderate the rest of the family’s diet so everyone else is over-fiber’d. I’m focusing on her lunch, and for example giving her one cereal and fruit combo while her siblings have a different kind and fruit.

        1. Quest bars are also good, and have a lot of fiber. Kashi Go Lean cereals are less gross than Fiber One and are good sprinkled on yogurt.

        2. Different people have different sensitivities. I have IBS and a too-high-in-fiber diet will aggravate it. The types of fiber matter also – a lot of people with IBS have problems with inulin, which is the type of processed fiber added to a lot of foods to boost the fiber content. I have to be careful about not just the amount of fiber but the type of it. For me, a “too much fiber” problem doesn’t just create more trips to the bathroom, but incredibly painful abdominal cramps coupled with other not-very-glamorous bathroom problems that can last for days and really interfere with my activities of daily living. P.S., I lived with IBS for 37 years before I was diagnosed with it. My mom used to feed us wheat germ and Fiber One and I finally realized after my diagnosis why those things made me feel worse, not better. More fiber is not universally better for everyone.

        3. I have gastroparesis and am on a low fiber diet for motility reasons. I was initially misdiagnosed and encouraged to eat fiber, which only made things worse.

        4. Dad now swear’s by Fibers. He was formerlly all backed up and could not poop regularly until he started eating alot of fiber. Now he gets fiber through tablets every day, and he told me he has absolutely no problem pooping any more, and he claims Mom really appreciates it b/c her bed is right next to the toilet. So now I am also using Metimucil just like Dad to make sure I am able to go to the toilet regularly. YAY!!

      2. Also for fiber Refried beans. Easy to use as a dip, in a tortilla (maybe the tortillas mentioned above unless that’s overdoing it), or as a starchy side.

    2. If she hasn’t tried chia seeds, those are a great source of fibre. Like them in yogurt or smoothies.

  4. I was offered a possible 2 year rotation within my company at our office in Brussels. Has anyone lived in Brussels? Have any opinions about the city? I’ve never been there before, but am seriously considering the offer.

    1. It’s supposed to be a fairly boring but nice city. Lots of transient professional workers and high expat population so finding and making friends is probably easier than moving to a city that’s mostly full of people who’ve lived there forever. I’d take the offer in a heartbeat personally (but that’s me – direct trains from Brussels to London would also make it an easy move for my own life circumstances).

    2. I’ve been for fieldwork. It’s a weird city but I think a decent one for expats. No one is from there so there is a big expat social life. And from there, you could get to lovely cities, within Belgium (Ghent, Bruge, Leuven are all lovely) and further afield. You’re fine as an anglophone. And the frites are really as good as they say.

    3. Sounds awesome! I would jump all over it if I were you (knowing nothing else about your situation, ha).

      1. +1, I know nothing about you, your job, or Brussels, but this sounds incredible.

      2. +1 Brussels may not be super exciting, but it’s a great launching pad for traveling on the weekends!

      3. I dated a guy from Belgum, and he was kind of dull, and I did not want to marry him b/c he wanted me to live there with his family. I did NOT want to move out of the USA, especialy to Belgum, since all he wanted was for me to be a breeder for him. I did not want to be a farmer’s housewife. FOOEY! But your situeation sounds different, but beware of men that just want you to be a farmer’s wife. That is NOT for me!

    4. Depends on your situation, of course, but anecdata: my Asian friends (who speak perfect English) had miserable experiences with racism as teenagers in Brussels. Being an Asian expat in a professional capacity as an adult seemed to be a slightly better experience, given the range of opportunities and maturity of colleagues.

      1. +1 An Asian-American friend who speaks unaccented English experienced horrible racism while visiting Brussels.

    5. My aunt (South Asian) lived there for many years and loved it. I have not specifically asked her about racism. (But I think the worst place for racism against South Asians is the UK, where she lives now….)

    6. I lived in Brussels for three years until 2015. I didn’t think it was boring, just the kind of place you need to explore rather than expect it to jump out at you with obvious entertainment. There’s so many things tucked away in the different communes that are fun to discover, such as little but superb museums, gardens, restaurants, etc. I found the expat community welcoming, and there’s a guy named Edgar who runs a pretty good expat meet ups and excursions. If you’re looking for an experience working abroad, I’d totally go for it. It’s different enough that you definitely realize you’re in Europe every single day, which I loved, but not so different that it will be very difficult to settle in and be comfortable. And you’re only an hour or two from other countries – Going for lunch in the capital of the champagne region is completely doable, as is taking a cheap flight pretty much anywhere for the weekend. Go shoe shopping in Milan or visit the baths of Budapest on a whim.

  5. I’m going skiing in Vail for a few days. Am a total newbie and feel a bit over my head! Any general skiing and packing tips / recommendations on must-dos in Vail welcome. TIA!

    1. Take a lesson! It will make skiing infinitely more fun for you. Otherwise, Vail (the mountain and the village) is awesome and easy to navigate. Have a great time!

    2. Take a lesson if you can, even half day starting in the morning will give you a good base. Be sure to wear ski socks, bring hand warmers just in case. I wear liner gloves instead of my ski gloves so when I take my gloves off to use my phone, they don’t freeze. I also use a neckwarmer.
      Roll out if possible after skiing, and hot tub helps a ton after skiing. Drink tons of water! While skiing, the sides of the run are usually less icy, especially as the day goes on. Make sure there’s an easy way down whenever you get on a lift. Have fun!

    3. Don’t underestimate the elevation. It may do a number on you, esp when combined with (new) physical activity. I was a runner and skier and still got fairly wrecked, even staying hydrated.

      1. +1 – If you feel like you have altitude si myckness immediately book yourself in for some oxygen therapy, almost every hotel spa offers it by the minute. I wish I’d done it on my first day instead of suffering.
        Vail village is lovely, and almost every place in town was great food-wise. Snowshoeing is also amazing fun and lets you see different parts of the mountain, I’d highly recommend it!

      2. +2
        I’d done trips in Colorado before but Vail really did a number on me. Make sure you drink a ton of water and get plenty of rest. Don’t hesitate to get extra oxygen if you feel like you need it. And watch your alcohol intake – 1 drink and you will really feel it!

    4. Take a lesson and stay hydrated. Have a ton of fun! Everyone who can should try skiing to beat the winter blues.

  6. Does anyone know of a si te where I can browse art in a particular orientation (ie wider than it is tall)? Searching for landscape does not work for obvious reasons. :)

    2. Saatchi art. They have a tool where you can envision a piece over a sofa, to get a sensor scale.

    4. If you want to search more broadly, the correct thing to do is put “landscape orientation” in quotes so you don’t get results for landscape art.

  7. Has anyone ever had the feeling that people just don’t like you? I know I can get awkward at times because I have a lot of social anxiety so maybe that is attributing to it, or maybe I’m reading too much into things. Anyway, it’s a recurring feeling that is giving me some anxiety right now. Any tips?

    1. So, not a tip, but something that resonated a lot with me when I read it once is that children that grow up in houses with a lot of conflict can tend to perceive neutral reactions from other people as negative. I realized I was doing this. Not sure if that fits your situation at all, but it helped me realize, oh, that person probably isn’t actually signaling that they don’t like me, it’s just my tendency to perceive things that way.

      1. Thank you for responding. I did grow up in a home with a lot of conflict and this really resonates.

      2. Oh, yes. OP, if you’re like me and grew up with an adult (or more than one) who was emotionally unpredictable and would vacillate between exploding in rage over things that had never previously been a problem and being overly affectionate and generous for no discernable reason, you probably spent a lot of time constantly scanning people and situations looking for cues to figure out where the next explosion was coming from (impossible to predict) and how to adjust your reactions – down to facial expressions – to manage that adult’s behavior. I finally (finally) learned in a communications class that while that coping skill was useful to me as a child in helping me survive in a tough environment, it was no longer serving me as an adult. Normal people 1. aren’t “set off” by normal reactions or when people don’t react to something and 2. don’t explode at other people as a way of communicating or coping with their own emotions. Therapy can help also. It’s taken time for me to let go of the things I learned as a kid but now that I (mostly) have, my life and my relationships are better. Big hugs.

        1. Not the OP but thanking you both for this input. I grew up with an angry mother and only recently realized it turned me into a people pleaser and a perfectionist on an absurd level. Currently working on remediating this behavior and associated anxiety, but wish I had drawn this conclusion earlier in life.

    2. I don’t have much advice, but lots of commiseration. I’ve noticed that this feeling ebbs and flows, depending on what else is going on in my life. If I don’t have a ton of energy for being social — like if I’m really stressed about work or other things — that definitely affects how I feel in social situations and can lead to me having negative thoughts about how other people might be perceiving me.

      Who, specifically, is giving you this feeling? People who know and love you, or people who are merely acquaintances? I think my advice would vary depending on the audience. I’ve had to make peace with the fact that I’m a loyal and fun friend to the people who know me well … to others, I’m kind of invisible. I don’t think they actively dislike me or anything, but I’m a non-entity.

      This whole issue has some deep childhood roots for me, but nothing to do with my family and home environment. More that I went to school with the same people for 13 years (rural area) and didn’t fit in very well with my same-age peers.

      1. Thank you. It’s more co-workers, but I’ve worked with them for almost 10 years and haven’t really developed many long term friendships. I think if I were to leave today, there would be no one I’d keep in touch with. I also think because of my social anxiety I will go out of my way to try to fit in and it’s led me to feeling inauthentic or not genuine.

        1. I’ve worked with people a long time, but I don’t socialize with them outside of work nor would I consider them long term friendships. As long as you’re able to work well with others I don’t think work is the place to look for friendships necessarily. There have been people I worked with for a long time that left and I don’t keep in touch with them because we don’t have that level of friendship and there’s nothing wrong with that.

          1. +1 Work-place relationships are situational. You aim to be friendly because these are the people you spend 8 hours a day with, but a friendship where you hang-out outside of work doesn’t always happen. That’s not a failing on anyone’s part, or an indication that people don’t like you.

        2. Does it make you feel any better to know that as an outgoing person who makes friendships in the office very easily, there are not many people, if any, I would stay in regular touch with if I left. For networking purposes, I would probably reach out if it was beneficial, but otherwise? Nope. We have great friendships in the office, but do not socialize outside of the office. Don’t worry too much about this aspect of it!!

        4. I’ve worked in the same place for years and there is nobody here with whom I socialize outside the office, other than an annual Christmas luncheon with a colleague who happens to belong to the same sorority as I do. I don’t generally keep in touch with work friends once I move on, and once when I did it ended dramatically and badly.

          Friendships are often situational and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    3. People think about you far less than you think about yourself. All those little awkward moments that keep you up at night? No one else even noticed, and if they did, they immediately forgot about it.

      1. People always say this, but I find that every time I interact with someone, I remember prior awkwardness. I don’t stay up at night thinking about their awkwardness, and maybe I’m forgetting a lot, but it’s definitely part of the background of my future interactions with them.

        I think of it as similar to the way that I can remember a neighborhood I’ve only visited once before (after a year or two, I wouldn’t be able to call up the memory in my mind, but it all looks familiar if I visit again).

        But in my experience, first impressions matter, as do second, as do third, and so on.

    4. I struggle with this also — I like the advice from 9:47 that no one else even noticed.

    5. I have this problem. It makes me not want to socialize and it’s hard to ignore. Is it part of being a sensitive person. Is it low self-esteem? Depression? What kind of therapy fixes it.

  8. Proud of myself this morning — I drafted an email with two “I think”s in it, and deleted them before sending. It’s self-evident that the statements are what I think — I’m saying them! Trying to be conscious of the female tendency to over-qualify, and glad I caught those and made myself sound more authoritative. Anyone else do the same?

    1. Awesome! Broke my “just” (e.g. “just checking in”) habit after receiving feedback from a female manager several years ago and never looked back :)

      1. NYC Girl – what do you say instead if you are sending an email to check in on the status of something?

        1. You could say ‘Hi, checking in…’, or ‘bumping this – did you get a chance to…’

        2. I often use “Following up on the below…” or “Circling back on this…” Really anything works, without the “just”!

      2. Yes! I should have mentioned I also deleted a “just” from that same email, ha!

    2. I try! “Just,” “I think,” “seems to be” (when I KNOW it is), etc.

    3. This is such a hard thing to navigate. I’ve gotten a lot of feedback over the years (from women, never from men) that my emails come off as brusque. My emails are perfectly professional, but I don’t use “I think,” “just,” exclamation points, etc. I’ve been trying to find other language to strike the balance between lacking authority vs. being perceived as cold. Sometimes I’ll start my email with, “Hope all is well” or “Hope you had a nice weekend” or end my email with “Have a lovely weekend”. Any other suggestions?

      1. Hard to say, but I think you can be assertive/direct without being brusque. Three examples, from brusque to over-qualifying, as I would perceive them:

        “Send me the Smith file, no later than Wednesday.”

        “Could you please send me the Smith file? I need it by Wednesday if possible. Thanks!”

        “Hey! I was just wondering, if you wouldn’t mind, could you send me the Smith file when you get a chance? I think I’ll need it by Wednesday. Thanks so much!”

        1. that last suggestion sounds incredibly weak. Eliminate the “i was just wondering” eliminate “if you wouldn’t mind” eliminate “i think….”

          keep “thanks so much”.

          1. She says the three examples range from brusque to over-qualifying, so I believe that last example was intentionally weak sounding.

          2. Correct.

            Exactly, that’s correct!

            I really appreciate your response and just wanted to let you know that I think that’s correct!

        2. I’d generally say “please can you send me the Smith file – I’ll be needing it by close of play Tuesday. Thanks!” But no idea if that reads as appropriate to others….

        3. I like this, but the language you use depends on your goal. Personally, I don’t worry much at all about seeming “weak,” I’m not, and anyone who knows or works with me knows that. So I choose language that’s friendly, conversational, all in the name of getting along with the people I’m asking to do things so I can do my job well. So I see nothing wrong with a just, if you could, please, thanks, !!

        4. I use example #2 the most – it’s clear in what you are requesting, and in a polite and professional tone.

          Example #2 is too brusque, but I can see it if the email is from a superior to a junior. Example #3 is what I call “societal passive-aggressive niceness,” which I abhor in writing and in talking. (And yet so many females are brought up to speak/write like example #3… Yes ,I know that is a huge can of worms to be opening up.)

    5. For a while I had a long distance involvement with someone who is an academic and we exchanged a lot of long emails. I am a trial attorney. I almost never use “I think” or “seems to be” in my writing –apparently including personal emails. During the course of ending things, he said that my tone is sometimes harsh and off putting and I need to be gentler in my communications. HA!

    7. A few years ago, I completely stopped saying “sorry” when I mean “thank you” or “excuse me.” No more “sorry to ask but can you give this document a second read” or “sorry, can I get past you, this is my stop” on the subway. It’s 100% “thanks for making the time to read the document” or “excuse me, this is my stop.”

      1. Forgot to add this works well with friends/spouses. “Thanks for listening” is so much better than “sorry for unloading.” This reframing helped me see that I am deserving of love and attention.

      2. 100%! In a work context, it comes up as me saying, “Thanks for your patience on this,” rather than “Sorry it took me so long to get back to you!”

        1. Yes! Also “Thanks for following up” (if the person had to send a second email to prompt a response).

        2. +1 yes! This is another tip a great manager taught me. Only apologize when you really have to (e.g. a mistake was made) and instead thank people for their patience/understanding/etc!

    8. This is so helpful for me to hear! I obsess about my communication being authentic and clear, yet direct and these are great concrete steps.
      The feedback about being too “brusque” or “harsh” does irk me, though- it seems a little sexist. I wonder if men get this feedback too?

      1. There is a plug-in that I read about on this site – it’s called “Just Not Sorry”. It’s SO helpful for me to revise my emails to make them less passive. While yes, I should be able to adjust my language on my own, I’m not perfect and this is a really nice shortcut.

        1. Good for you, Katie. I have learned NOT to apologise for being direct; and it has actually be a benefit, as the Judge totally takes my side on any issue I raise in my status conferences with opposing counsel, and that goes forward with the cases once they get to trial. My judge has sided with me on motion’s 83% of the time, Frank calculated, and about 79% for trials that he ruled on. That is the best of any one in the firm! YAY!!!

  9. My period is a week later than usual. I’ve been fairly regular for the past 2 years (usually +/- 1 day in a 30 day cycle). Do I need to be worried and get a pregnancy test? FWIW I have no kids, in a monogamous relationship, and am 31. Abortion (medication or otherwise) is not legally available where I live and I will need to seek medical care in a different continent if I want to terminate. Argh.

    1. I found that when I was worried about an unwanted pregnancy, the moment I took a pregnancy test and saw it was negative, my period would start. So I would recommend it for that reason — to reassure yourself. At a week late, if you are pregnant, a home test will definitely be positive.

      1. Yes, but she probably was not as focused to ensure he had protection, or if he did, he was sloppy about it. It is better to focus on what to do and where to go if she is pregant. I say find the nearest State where you can get a legal abortion and make it happen sooner, when you will not have side effects, then later, when it can get complicated. For the rest of the HIVE, always make a guy wear a condom b/c they are NOT as good as withdrawing as they think they say they can, b/c my freind Lori got pregnant in PRECISELY that situeation.

    2. Yes you should take a pregnancy test ASAP. If it’s negative, you’re almost certainly not pregnant and you can stop stressing. If it’s positive, you’ll have as much time as possible to figure out options.

      1. +1. If you can find a First Response test (pink lines), those are super accurate even very early on.

    3. There are a variety of things that can make your period late, but I would take a test just to be sure.

    6. Different continent? If you do need an a* try reaching out to a private hospital/medical office that deals with ex-pats. They’ll either have the services available or be able to help direct you.

  10. what system or method do you use to keep track of the due dates of credit cards, bills, etc? I pay bills on line but they have different due dates and I would like a way to easily keep track so I don’t miss any….look forward to suggestions

    1. Some credit card companies allow you to request a new/different due date. I have nearly all of mine set to 1st or 2nd of the month. For a few that are due 5th, 6th of month I set up to auto-pay or I just pay them on the 1st.

    2. I’ve found that Google reminders are pretty handy, especially if you have a Pixel phone. My phone integrates with Gmail so it reads my emails and gleans due dates from them, and I can also add reminders manually (like to send in the payment for my parking spot). I also set up reminders with the CC companies themselves, so I get an email from them 10 days before the due date, and a reminder on my phone two days before.

    3. Not in the US, but I have auto-pay set up from my account for all credit cards, rent, utilitiez, etc. For nonregular payments, I use outlook calendar. The payment dates for credit cards are all set to the date of the month when I get my monthly paycheck. I also keep track via a spending tracker app that lets me input repest spendings, and set up reminders the day before payment so I see it in my money tracker.

      1. This. Credit card and utilities are on auto pay (in the US). I don’t think I could keep track of all of it. Unfortunately, the landlady wants a physical check mailed, so I have a reminder on the calendar to me and husband for that. It sends an email, which I leave unread and only delete when the deed is done.

        1. when a previous landlord wanted physical checks, I would give them a few at a time, each dated to the appropriate month – I also travelled a lot and putting things in the mail has never been my forte.

        2. Could you automate it through your bank’s online billpay function? My bank had the option to pay any entity as long as you put in the amount and address, and they’d just mail a check on the date you stated. It wasn’t very efficient since the checks were mailed from another state, but there may have been a way to just have the bank mail a rent check on a specific day each month so you don’t have to think about it. You’d just need to remember to adjust the amount whenever the amount increases, and cancel the autopay when you move!

    4. I just have everything on auto-deduct and I’m always surprised when others don’t. I don’t think I’ve ever manually paid a bill as an adult.

      Instead of system to keep track of dates, would auto-pay be an option for you?

    7. I just set up autopay on everything. For credit cards that I sometimes carry a balance on, I’ll set up an automatic payment for the minimum payment (just to make sure I don’t miss it) and make an extra payment whenever I think about it.

    8. If you pay all your bills in full, it’s easiest to enroll in autopay. When your bill generates, they send an email that says “$XXX.XX is due on XX/XX/XX and will automatically be deducted from your account on that day”.

    9. I also use autopay for everything except my main credit card and my rent. When I get the emails about the bill being due, I look to make sure the amount is correct (they are usually the same month to month), and when I look at my bank account and credit card I also confirm the number.

      1. OP here…Thanks I have a couple on auto pay – the ones that I know won’t fluctuate. Do you have enough time to intercept the auto payment if you think there is an error. I feel like, if there is an error, its easier to get adjustments made before you pay the bill vs. after. Thoughts?

        1. I’m a nerd, but I log into all my credit cards weekly or so and make sure there are no strange charges. Is that the kind of error you mean? They won’t make an adding error.
          But yes they normally email you a day or two in advance “$X will be deducted from your account ending in 1234 on Y date” and you could intercept the autopay.

        2. I’ve never had an issue getting an adjustment after the fact for anything on autopay. Usually they’ll just credit it to your next month’s bill vs do a refund.

        4. I’m like you – I do not like to have my credit cards on autopay because of the multiple times in the past I have caught errors and had my credit card number stolen and caught that too. For that reason, I still insist on getting a paper bill in the mail and that is my visual reminder. But still, I have had one episode where the paper bill didn’t arrive (mail issue) and I just missed a payment (my credit card waived the fee/penalty when I called, as a long term client with good standing). But I like the idea suggested above of calling my credit card companies and asking them to change all end of cycle days to the beginning of the month.

          But I autopay everything else – phone, utilities, rent checks (my Fidelity “bank account” mails them monthly automatically).

          1. OP here…yes, I have caught multiple errors over the years and I’m the one in my family that has to spend the time on the phone to get the error corrected/reversed. For this reason, I’m not putting everything on auto pay but I do like the idea of synchronizing payment dates. Thank you.

          2. I have all auto-pay except our BOA credit card, because BOA is a PITA to set up autopay for, apparently. For that one I have my bank (not BOA) send a recurring payment (online bill pay) for $150 as a fall back to at least cover the min. payment if I ever don’t get the bill, forget, etc.. When I get the bill in the mail I go in and change that month’s payment from $150 to the full balance that month.

      2. This sounds complcated. I just have my bills sent directly to my Dad, who takes care of all of them for me. That is what he wants my husband to do, but I have NOT found anyone decent yet. FOOEY!

    10. I automatically pay the minimum every month. I pay the balance on the first of the month with all my other bills. (Unless I need to split it into two payments, and I leave an even number to be paid — so if it’s $8432, I’ll pay $4432 and remind myself I need to pay $4K by 2/15 or whatever.)

    11. As a few people have already mentioned, I have some of them on autopay (the ones I know don’t fluctuate). The others, I keep as unread emails in my inbox and pay the outstanding ones every time I get paid (every two weeks). The bills become due at various times throughout the month, but I have never been late using this method.

    12. I get email notifications for my credit card and utilities notifying me that I have an upcoming payment and the email has the due date.

    13. I also autopay everything but my main CC, but the other thing I do is I keep an online checkbook in google sheets. At the beginning of the month I put in the current balance of my bank statement, and then I have our bills listed roughly in order of due date on the right, the amount on the left and a running tally of our bank balance in the middle. This is only for bills that I don’t pay on my CC, but could be tweaked for your needs.

    14. Honestly for my credit cards, every pay period (so every 2 weeks) I go in manually and pay the full outstanding value on all my credit cards. I then do the quick math based on what I had left in my checking pre new paycheck and what I just paid in bills to make sure I didn’t overspend my discretionary “allowance” for the past pay period, and to see how much extra fun money I may or may not have for the next couple of weeks. (This is all part of a broader, more elaborate budget where I also pay savings on certain pay periods etc). Maybe complicated but it works for me and keeps me in check.

      I do have my mortgage on auto pay since that is a set amount.

    15. I have all my bills set up to pay through the bill pay function in my checking account. For bills that fluctuate, I have an average amount set. When I get my actual bill I modify the amount of the bill pay. But all of the bills are scheduled to go out every 30 days. For me, bill pay is just as easy as autopay but I have a greater level of control.
      I do not let any company have access to my checking account through autopay. I know this is a bit paranoid, but I do not trust that potential issues would be resolved in a timely manner.

    16. I set up autopay in my bank account, not in the account of the bill that’s due. So instead of authorizing my credit cards and mortgage and utilities to pull funds from my bank account, I authorize my bank account to send a set amount to those other companies. I can easily log into my bank account and modify the amount or payment date before the payment date if I need to. Even bills that fluctuate in amount tend to have the same or similar due dates every month, so I chose a date a few days earlier than that and set that as the default. Bills that are the same amount every month are the easiest. For bills that fluctuate, I set the automatic amount towards the higher end of what I usually get. When I get the bill, I go into my bank account and lower the payment amount to the exact amount due. If I forget, then my bank account will automatically send out whatever my default is, and it’s not a big deal if I occasionally overpay a credit card or utility. It’s rare that I receive a bill that’s higher than my default amount, so when I do those bills make a bigger impression on me mentally and I’m even less likely to forgot to modify the payments on those bills.

      I started this process because I was frequently forgetting to pay things and getting late fees and calls from my landlord to send in the check. I had the money in my account but was forgetful about paying. So now, things go automatically. After several years of this, it’s become routine for me to log into my bank account a few times at the beginning of the month to check on everything and adjust amounts as needed.

  11. My usual go to of the BR Logan is now not curvy enough. Previously I have been a 4, then a 6. Now the 8 I just ordered is both a bit snug in the butt/thigh area and yet needing to be taken in at the waist (so will be even worse in a 10). [Middle-age spread + sedentary job; I’m not bulking up from box-jumping.]. Is there any brand /cut out there with a bigger waist/hip area ratio? The Logan had sustained me forever and I rely on pants throughout the year except during black tights season. Help!!!

    1. loft has some good options. I used to do the Julie fit but I read somewhere they are changing the naming conventions at Loft. I’m sure they still have good options but i’m not sure what they are all called.

      1. The fits are now “curvy” (formerly Julie) and “modern.” Not sure how they came up with the latter but I guess it tested well?

      1. +1 if you haven’t tried Talbots curvy fit, give them a whirl. I know that store is not for everyone, but I find their pants are a great fit for me.

      1. +1 Boden Richmonds, they are magical. Similar fabric to the JCrew Cameron pant but look better IMO.

  12. I have had the great pleasure of working with immigrants and refugees for many years. I have been gifted many articles of clothing over this time. About six months ago, I was given a Chinese blouse with these beautiful hand stitched flowers. It looks like a very traditional Chinese garment, and I haven’t known when to wear it. (I am a white woman.) This weekend I am going to a spring festival hosted by a Chinese student group. Should I wear the blouse to this event? I don’t want to look like I am in a costume. I feel bad that I have never used this beautiful gift, and I am not really sure when or if I should. I really just want to be supportive of the students who have been struggling as they worry about their families and wonder how long it will be before they can see their families again. Thank you for the advice!

  13. I posted last week asking for thoughts or resources in considering becoming a stepparent. People said they were surprised at how few resources there are, and so am I, but I just found the column “Ex Etiquette” which so far seems pretty good. Much of it is about navigating stepparenting and the dynamic with the kids’ other birth parent. Passing this on in case others are also looking.

    If anyone else has thoughts about the decision to commit to someone who has kids, in any respect, please continue sharing.

    1. Hi there, I married a man with 2 boys, ages 9 & 11. He’d been divorced long before we met, so there was no “other woman” issue. We’ve been married for 15+ years and things are good, the boys are grown. What worked for me is to 100% stay out of parenting the boys. If he asked me to do something or for advice, I’d always do/give it. But I had ZERO opinions on discipline, school, money, etc. Now of course I had opinions, and at times I’d vent to friends. But I never got involved. If he was gone and I was home alone with the boys, of course I was “the parent” and they’d listen to me for the most part (pick up after yourself, go to bed, take a bath), If I had a problem with them, I took it to him and he’d handle it. I also rarely interacted with their mom, and I didn’t freak-out if my husband had to talk to her on the phone, see her at the boys events, etc. Also, we didn’t have our own kids, so I think that helped a little because there was no competition. If you’re thinking about marrying someone with kids, really think about whether you’re going to have kids with this person. That will definitely complicate matters. And try to put yourself in the step-kids shoes – your parents divorce, you see your dad 1/2 the time, and how he has another kid that gets him 100% of the time – and you get to “visit” your dad. It’s harsh reality and one that really hurts the kids. Good luck!

      2. Yes, I want my own kids, so have to step it up to find a guy who can impregnate me this year. The last thing I want to do is marry some geezer with kids old enough to oooogle me. Who needs that? FOOEY!

    2. Thank you for the recommendation! I was probably one of the people complaining about the lack of resources. We’re going through a pretty tough time now with my SD wanting to live with us full time and not at all with her mom, and trying to balance how much she gets a say in where she lives. Would love to hear other people’s insight or experience on this, if they have it! She’ll be 14 in April.

      1. If your stepdaughter is 14 and really wants to move, she is old enough to have an opinion and it should be honored if possible – with the clear caveat that she needs to understand that this is for at least one year (no changing her mind mid-way through the school year) and that there will be clear expectations regarding discipline and behavior.

        A teenager in that age bracket is likely to engage in some pretty self-defeating behavior (acting out at school; failing classes; increasing discipline issues) if they think it will change their circumstances. They don’t have the long term vision necessary to realize they are cutting off their noses to spite their faces.

    3. I can’t remember if I commented on your earlier question or not, but I’m a step-parent and the book Stepmonster by Wednesday Martin was really helpful for me.

    4. I have been a step-parent for 7 years and I also have 2 children with my husband. I second the recommendation for Wednesday Martin’s book and also found the online “stepmom magazine” to be helpful for the first few years. Being a stepmom is hard and definitely has its ups and downs. I have a lot of contact with their mother and am involved in their parenting, which is probably not what anyone else would recommend, but it works for our family. I will say that our 2 younger children brought both families together in a very meaningful way. We are solidly connected to my husband’s ex-wife and her husband (our Will lists her as my kids guardians because we felt very strongly that we wanted all 4 children raised together). It’s easier said than done but all 4 parents work really hard to get along and treat all of the kids equally and with respect. Even so, conflict is inevitable and your husband is going to feel like he is being pulled in multiple directions – from the kids, his wife, and the ex wife. It’s a lot.

    5. I missed your original comment but as someone whose parents divorced and who both remarried, the real question is whether you want and whether it is possible for you to be a parent and that depends on the age of the children and how much time they spend with you.

      Anonymous at 10:26 gave really good advice and that works well if the children are older and/or do not live with you full or even half time. This is very much the relationship I had with my stepmother (married my Dad when I was 12; I was only with them part of the summer). However, my stepfather (married Mom when I was 6; spent the vast majority of the year with me) was much more of an actual parent and that included (after the first year or so) a fair amount of discipline and opinions. He probably deferred to my mother when they disagreed (which was always kept out of my hearing) but he definitely acted like my dad – to the point where he eventually adopted me and is now much closer to me than my other father.

      I suggest adopting Anonymous at 10:26’s approach in the beginning but be open to gradually adopted a more parental role as time moves on if the situation warrants. And second the caution about any children you end up having.

  14. For yesterday’s poster who is looking for a job at 50+ after getting laid off:

    I was laid off when I was 57 when the multi-national I worked for off-shored hundreds of jobs from developed countries to Bangalore. I had 19 months notice of the lay-off, since they kept extending my date. (Yes, you have to question a multi-national that lays off people and then realizes they can’t find those skill and experience in Bangalore.) Monetarily, this was good, but it was very demotivating.

    I had nine months of outplacement, and have found a new job. Here’s what I learned and what worked for me:
    – Have an updated resume and LinkedIn profile. People really do look at LinkedIn. Have a professional profile photo, and turn on the option that says you are interested in new opportunities.
    – IMHO, the job placement firms don’t discern what may work for different people, and give you busy work so that you feel like you are progressing. If something doesn’t work for you, move on.
    – Everyone will tell you to network, and I have a very mixed view on this. Networking with people that you know and have actual experience with was helpful, even if all they could do is boost your morale. Networking with strangers to “learn about their career” or get career advice is over sold. People are busy, they get a lot of requests, and getting coffee with someone they don’t know isn’t a priority. I think you need to network judiciously, or you will spend a lot of time on this without much return plus it feels like rejection.
    – It was helpful to network with a very small number of people in the same situation. I was part of a group of four, we met almost every week for lunch or coffee, and talked about our search. It was partly accountability, and partly to have someone to vent to.
    – Applying on line actually does work. Use a site like Jobscan, which will help you tweak your resume to score high on the automated screen. Always try to apply the company’s site, not on Indeed or LinkedIn. The only exception is if the someone from the company posts the job on LinkedIn, you should message that person. This really works.
    – After a few months, I targeted companies that had older employees and/or a mix. My experience was that the government, government adjacent, and regulated companies have more older employees, who are then more receptive to hiring older people.
    – Don’t try to look or act young, no one is fooled. Be the energetic, enthusiastic, experienced person that people want on their team.
    – You will interview with people that are rude, unprepared, time fillers, and sometimes just nuts. I made a rule that if an interviewer yelled at me, or left me lost in their building for more than 20 – 30 minutes, I was out. People will tell you to keep pursuing it, but don’t, because you don’t want to work there anyways.
    – Don’t pressure yourself to get a great job! Making more money! Better in every way! That might happen, or it might not. After 10 months, I found a job that pays the same base, but less bonus, but also no travel and pretty much 9 – 5. It’s a good company, and the people are nice. The work is interesting, the job is OK but not fabulous, but it meets my needs as a good step before retirement.

    1. This is really good advice for many of us. Thank you for sharing! I have to say, (I always feel semi-relieved when someone reiterates that networking for the sake of networking isn’t the best use of time.)

    2. Thank you for this – my 58 year old DBF is facing the unexpected loss of his job in the next couple of months (entire team being let go). This advice is helpful!

      1. ETA: I sent him the link for Jobscan, and encouraged him to check it out. Thanks again!

      1. Good luck! I found the process difficult, but having gone through it also increased my confidence of being able to handle all types of strange situations. Weird job interviews are a real. What also helped is to join the sub-Reddit(s) about job search and recruiting he!!. People much younger have many of the same challenges, so the issue isn’t always age

    4. This gives me so much hope as I live with the fear that if I get laid off over 50, my goose is cooked. And retiring before 60 will neither give me the financial life or the mental fulfillment that I know I need to be happy. Thanks for sharing your story.

      As an aside: I work for a “government adjacent” company and we are much more open than market-based companies to hiring older workers; we do it all the time. We have people working here who are in their 70s and we make offers to people in their 50s regularly. Smaller businesses and nonprofits are also more open to hiring older workers in my experience, although getting the same level of pay someone had in CorpAm may be a challenge there.

  15. I need tips for staying focused during meetings and also one-on-one conversations. A few times this week, my mind has drifted and I’ve missed bits of information. The lack of focus stems from the fact that I’m unhappy at work, annoyed with my disorganized and ineffective manager, and annoyed with my coworkers who have developed lots of bad habits due to the aforementioned ineffective manager. I’m actively looking for a new job but don’t want to drop the ball while I’m still in the current one. Help!

    2. Taking notes helps keep me engaged. The extra step of writing it down concisely/picking out the important tidbits makes it harder to zone out. Maybe if you do still zone out, you can confirm info with others at the end as if you’re just making sure your notes are complete.

  16. Placing my first order from Rancho Gordo today – what heirloom beans do I NEED?

    1. Eye of the goat! And the black beans. And caviar lentils.

      I love them and used to be a member of the bean club but now I have a backlog of too many beans.

    2. My favorite of the many I’ve tried are marcella and yellow indian woman (particularly delicious in tacos). My husband’s favorite are the christmas lima beans.

    3. Yes to all. My favorites are the black beans and Marcella beans. Even my BFF who swears she hates black beans loves RG’s. Since the shipping is free once you’re over $50, see if any of your friends want to go in on the order.

    4. +1 on the Yellow Indian Woman beans. We also love the cranberry beans cooked with ham, onion, garlic and sage in the Crockpot (although an Insta-Pot also should work for this).

    5. This is so funy- I just read Helen Rosner’s tweet and that sent me to the new yorker article about Rancho Gordo. I’ve been in an internet beans rabbit hole all day. Please follow up with any that you really like!

    6. The cassoulet beans really are perfect for making cassoulet. I also love the gigante beans for making Smitten Kitchen’s pizza beans.

      (And this may brand me a heretic, but I made the black beans and I found them to be only marginally better than fancy canned ones.)

      1. I’m the one who posted above about how their black beans turned my BFF into a believer. I love black beans in all their incarnations, so the main benefit is that I can serve black beans without getting the stinkeye :-) I don’t find them all that different beyond that they don’t take quite as long to cook, but as I said, I love black beans in all forms, so might not be as attuned to whatever subtle difference might be there.

  17. I asked this last week but didn’t get a lot of responses – does anyone have a favorite showerhead or shower jet system they love? Thank you in advance!

    1. I have the ‘MOENAttract 6-spray 6.75 in. Dual Shower Head and Handheld Shower Head in Spot Resist Brushed Nickel Eco’ – available at Home Depot – not sure if it counts as fancy but it’s been absolutely wonderful for 2 years now.

    3. I’ll just say that my parents have one of these large rectangular rain shower heads, and I do not enjoy it at all! It’s like being attacked by water with nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Don’t get one of these before you know that you like them!

      1. Also hate the rain shower heads, as someone who does not need to wash my hair every day. It’s hard to wash my body without washing my hair with the rain heads.

    4. I don’t know about specific brands but by all means get the jets! I thought I didn’t need them so didn’t put them when I remodeled the bathroom at my last house. Then moved in with my husband and wondered how I ever managed without them! (Also cosign not liking the rain shower. We never use ours.)

    5. Just a warning that we had jets in our shower that a prior owner had put in and because they were such high pressure in the same spot over and over, the shower was leaking in that area.

    6. Check out Catchpole & Rye. $$$$$$$, but I really enjoyed their La Cage shower station in a hotel on my last vacation.

  18. I have been feeling a slight twitching above my right eyebrow for a few weeks now, as well as sometimes around my cheeks or corners of my mouth. Usually when I’m tired it’s the lower eyelids that twitch, so this is fairly new. Usually a few days on mega vitamins and magnesium makes the twitching go away, but it hasn’t in this case. It’s not all the time that it twitches, though. Any advice? Should I go to the doctor?

    2. Sounds like fatigue, stress or both. Try getting more sleep and taking time to relax in the evenings – hot tea, bath, cozy slippers, etc.

    3. My neurologist has suggested potassium in the past for eye twitching. You can do bananas, peaches, tablets, etc.

    4. I was having twitching (as you described – sometimes below the eye and occasionally above). I needed computer glasses – my eyes were tired from staring at the screen. I went to an eye doctor and they gave me computer glasses and suggested some changes to make to my computer settings. I’ve had no issues since – that is what was tiring my eyes.

  19. I feel really frustrated right now with my bank. On Wednesday, a strange charge hit my debit card for $365. I contacted the bank immediately and they told me I had a charge from a year ago to the same company – a local escape room company. I called the company on the off chance that somehow the charge from last year was erroneously made annual or something bizarre (even though it was for a different amount, $220). They have no record of the charge. On my bank’s advice, I canceled my debit card and they are issuing a new number.

    The bank says I can’t dispute the charge until it posts. Yesterday, it still hadn’t posted, and I talked to the bank again. They said it would post last night after 10 p.m. It’s still pending today. I’m alarmed because the last time this happened on a credit card, the company told me not to worry, and then after it pended for like five days I got slammed with five or six fake charges. The next company rep I talked to said the first one was wrong and this is a classic sign of scamming a card where they have a pending charge to see what the credit limit is.

    I assume they can’t scam me any more because the number has been canceled. Any way I can push back on my bank or do I just keep waiting? Also, they posted a charge today for $7.50 for issuing a new card which frankly is just pi ss ing me off.

    1. Be patient and wait. If they don’t refund you in say, a week, call again and if they give you a hassle, post a complaint with the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau online. I’ve been a similar (but worse) situation with my former bank, and after weeks of getting the runaround, I got a response within an hour of posting the complaint.

  20. We moved into our current neighborhood about 6 months ago and have only really met a few neighbors, haven’t really socialized with any (most are older and seem a bit boring). There is one set of neighbors across the street who are a bit younger (maybe early-mid 30s; we are in our early 40s) and seem interesting – he’s a surgeon and she is an RN. They are childless, and we have two kids. I would like to get to know them better. We are hosting a St Patrick’s Day party on March 7 and we invited them, but they seem a little on the quiet side, and it is usually a bit loud and raucous, so I thought it might be better to have them over to get to know them before then. Is it awkward to simply invite them over for drinks on a weekend evening? Would it be less awkward to ask them to come over for brunch? I don’t want to make too big a deal out of it, but I also don’t want our more party-hardy friends to scare them off at the party. Since they don’t have kids, we don’t have that connection, so I am unsure of the best way to approach it. (obviously, I am overthinking). Any advice?

    1. “Hey, we thought it’d be great to get to know you better – would you be free for dinner on Date 1, Date 2, or Date 3? Do you have any food restrictions? I can make my famous X if that sounds good.”

  21. I’m in a new role, my boss is on vacation and I keep screwing up stuff for my new grandboss, our C-level person. They’re not big mistakes and she is being very gracious but I hate being new and not knowing what I’m doing!

Comments are closed.