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Weekend Open Thread

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woman wears blue cardigan

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

I love a good cardigan that feels both cozy and chic — and I think this French Connection cardigan is giving both.

I like the fitted shape as well as the patch pockets, and I'm always a fan of knuckle-length sleeves, such as with athleisure with thumbholes — the fascination still holds with the trendy wide sleeves for cardigans. (Another example: this Modern Citizen sweater.)

Nordstrom has the cardigan in the pretty blue pictured in sizes XS-L; FrenchConnection.com also has it in a beige, as well as XL sizes for both colors.

Happy weekend!

Sales of note for 9/26/25

247 Comments

  1. I have an interview! I’m a former scientist now in project management for research, and this interview is for that. But I think this institution hires from both academia and industry (tech).
    One of the interviews they invited me to is a case study, which I’ve never done or witnessed. Naively, I’m actually intrigued by the idea of discussing a scenario and explaining how I would approach it. My googling says that this is common for consulting. Not sure if I should study some project management jargon (agile etc etc), even though it’s not really used in my world. Any tips would be appreciated.

    1. Good luck! Sorry, I cannot help with your question.

      As a scientist myself (biomedical), what does a former scientist now in project management do, exactly? Compared with what you did as a scientist.

      1. Basically, the tasks that scientists tend to complain about because it takes time away from their research! That could be developing and tracking budgets, planning staffing and recruiting, facilitating work across a team, which could include task assignment, communication, resolving conflicts and competing priorities, tracking overall progress. Resolving the everyday stuff like workspace, safety, getting people the software they need, or arranging for purchases or contracts to collaborating institutions. As most research is funded by some kind of taxpayer, there is also a lot of compliance and reporting. Theses days, there’s a lot of strategic work a la ‘how do our skills align with the new administration’s science priorities’ (and what even are those), so that we can keep our people employed. Before this, it was navigating the various work modes since lockdown. These big picture things take it from project management to program management.
        The way my institution works, the scientists ultimately get the last word in most decisions, but I am good at knowing what they want and getting them compliant without disturbing their science bubbles too much, so they trust me a lot and I am happy with the amount of influence I have.

    2. Look up a couple frameworks for case interviews but I would say that you seem senior enough that you shouldn’t overthink it and try to be who you think they want you to be – just be you! Your enthusiasm for this shines through – just truly walk them through how you would think about the problem, the steps you would take etc. good luck!

    3. I would look up interviewing tips for McKinsey. I’ve never done this type of interview in consulting, but I think they are the standard for case interviews. Unless you’ve used agile project management, I wouldn’t bring it up. I have only experienced it on one tech project.

  3. Fun question for the weekend – what’s some advice from this place you’re glad you followed, and some you’re glad you ignored?

    I’ve gotten SUCH great advice on so many mundane but important topics, especially related to finances – things like how to apply for life insurance and how to do a backdoor Roth (seriously, a quick comment here was clearer than anything I found on Google at the time). Never steered me wrong and I’m in a better financial position for it.

    I’m glad I ignored advice saying “don’t have a kid unless you’re prepared to give up your hobbies” or “don’t have a kid unless you 100% want one – if you’re on the fence, it’s a no.” We have a kid now, we’re one-and-done (for both health and personal reasons), I love being a mom so much, and I’m still doing all the same hobbies, albeit at a lesser frequency.

    1. Not sure if this counts as advice, but the encouragement threads to just do the thing help me tremendously.

      I had a lightbulb that needed replaced, a box of gear that needed to go out to the garage, a donation drop off to make, and none of that is hard but had become a daily annoyance that I was kicking myself for avoiding. Told myself Tuesday evening to just do the thing and took care of all of them in less than 30 minutes, no longer have them taking up brain space.

    2. I also had one kid despite not being really sure I wanted one, and I also love motherhood and am glad I had a kid. Buuuut I also think it’s not bad advice in general. I got lucky with a healthy, neurotypical kid, who – while not exactly “easy” behavior-wise – has easily folded into our lifestyle in terms of things like travel. I’m not sure I would be as content if I’d had a harder path with motherhood, and the downsides of bringing a kid into the world who will be resented are much greater than the harm from wishing you had had a kid or more kids.
      And similarly, hobbies after kids is really dependent on the kids and the sort of partner you have. With 1-2 typical kids and an involved partner, sure, it’s doable. But not everyone has that situation.

      1. OP here and my kid did not have an easy entry in the world (early, a few health issues) and was pretty colicky – I think that would be so hard without a supportive partner. It still felt doable (in the “I can do hard things” sense) and I’m glad I didn’t let it stop us, but considering your support network and bandwidth for challenges is key.

      2. Admittedly, I only had one kid, but as a single mother by choice, I can second (third?) the belief that you do not need to give up your hobbies when you have children regardless of your partner status.

    3. Yes that you don’t have to give up your hobbies when you have kids! You may do them
      Less frequently or they may look different post kids, but you don’t have to give them up!!!

      1. I still remember a post here years ago from a woman who insisted it’s impossible – “I told my husband no hobbies for either of us until the kids are older.” I wonder if she’s still reading?

        1. Honestly this would have me considering divorce.

          Ditto a spouse that would expect me to severely curtail social activities (whether with my friends or my family of origin), or a spouse who would think we shouldn’t prioritize time to go on dates.

          We certainly prioritize time as a nuclear family and ensure we get plenty of quality family time (both the mundane and the fun), but not at the expense of our personal lives too.

          In which case both parebts would have plenty of time for hobbies when the other has custody.

          2. Eh, you’re mischaracterizing it quite a bit. She didn’t say she told her husband no hobbies ever. She said “he may just have to come to terms that he can’t do this hobby and parent a baby and toddler.” The “this hobby” that OP was asking about was 6 hours (of golf, I think?) literally every weekend! That’s a massive time commitment. And she specifically caveated with “parent a baby and toddler” – this isn’t necessarily forever, just during the short stage where you have really little kids at home. I have hobbies, my husband has hobbies, my friends (all moms) have hobbies, but I don’t know any parent of younger kids that can consistently devote 6 hours/weekend to an out-of-house hobby and tbh I would have massively resented my husband if he’d left me alone basically all day one weekend day every weekend to golf when we had two kids under 4. That’s just so unfair to the other parent doing all the solo parenting so he can do his hobby. It’s also unfair to the kids not to have a more present dad, but I think with kids that little the unfairness to the spouse is a much bigger issue.

          3. This is literally what the comment said:

            “Wowwww. I would be super resentful too. I have 2 kids around theses ages. All hobbies are on hold. For both of us. Period.

            We have both accepted that this is just how it will be for this stage of life. Call it delayed gratification if you will.”

          4. Oh ok that’s not the third comment though. It’s a reply to the first comment so that’s why I was confused.

            That is extreme wording but I still think most people on that thread were reacting to the specific fact pattern the OP presented. And the overwhelming consensus was a new dad cannot expect to have a 6 hour block for golf every single weekend. If the question was “hobbies after parenthood: discuss” the responses would have been very different.
            One of the things I’ve observed is that the details matter *so much* to what kind of replies you get and in this case the OP’s husband had really extreme expectations for hobbies and people were reacting to that.

    4. I’m a long time reader who came from a very working class background and had nobody to tell me things like ‘suits you wear to church aren’t the same kind of suits you wear to work’. I know we all joke about appropriate water bottles/nail polish colors but the corporate world is full of all sorts of class signaling I didn’t understand and couldn’t parse. On top of that I work in big finance and there simply weren’t many female mentors to guide me.
      So, I’m very grateful for the advice and guidance I recieved from older readers decades ago and try to pay it forward now as an elder millenial manager in my role.

      1. I love this and I’m happy for you. The class signaling and discrimination is real. It’s invisible to those who are steeped in it. The rest of us have to learn from scratch to code-switch, as it were.

      2. +1, I was in a similar boat! It also really helped me to hear that finding clothing that fits properly is a challenge for almost everyone. And to get shoe recommendations from others with duck shaped feet.

    5. I think that being a mom to one kid, versus not having any, is hugely underrated. (ALL the support to those who know they don’t want kids!)

      Tough advice I got at the time, that ended up being right: five years ago, someone here told me that my marriage wouldn’t make it. The underlying issue sounded mundane (then-husband was treating me like a girlfriend, not a wife, in terms of sacrifices he was willing to make, boundaries he was willing to draw with his family). He had a revelation that he was doing it and said he would stop.

      He might have sort of stopped; the larger issue is that it was symptomatic of enormous emotional immaturity and selfishness. (Ironic traits, coming from such a normally responsible person.)

    6. Many years ago I dared to post about my marriage as an Anon, and the advice was unanimously to DTMFA. I did and never looked back. Also thanks for all the fabulous hotel recommendations over the years!

      1. I think there are more Senior Attorney nuggets of gold on this site than anything else, so it’s sort of awesome to know that you have benefitted here too! DTMFA is a classic!

          1. lol, couldn’t help but laugh at this. You also often get credit for quotes from Winston Churchill and Robert Frost – although I don’t claim “DTMFA” rises to the level of classic political speech or poetry.

          2. I know, right? Heh. The only one I think I really made up is “people are not improvement projects.” But I may well have stolen that one, too!

          4. Popping back to clarify that my comment was that you getting the advice for DTMFA is great; it’s classic advice and has become classic around here. You, too, are a classic lol, but I didn’t think you gave it? Not sure why apparently 3 people thought that lol

      2. I remember you posting anonymously about wanting to marry the now Mr Senior Attorney and a bunch of people including me guessed it was you. So happy for you guys!

        1. Haha busted! We had our ninth anniversary two days ago — and there was a C0rporette table at the wedding! Time flies!!

          1. I cannot believe you have been married nine years! Was right there with you with the bad ex and the start of your relationship with your Lovely Husband. (Was he the Gentleman Friend? I can’t remember.) So happy for you!

      3. SA you have given me so much helpful advice over the years. A million thank yous!

      4. I went through a very high conflict divorce with multiple young children and am still single while they grow up. Your remarriage story still gives me hope that one day, I’ll be happily married. I’m waiting until my children are older as there just isn’t time, and the small risk of marrying another awful person is too great for me to handle! Thank you SA!!

    7. I’m glad I didn’t listen to the boyfriend who told me I was “running away from my problems” by going to an elite college (he was right but it was the right choice) or my MIL’s insistence that we overpaid for a crummy house in a “bad” neighborhood (it’s been a very very good investment).

    8. Someone here refused to give me advice on applying at her employer because it was ‘so competitive’. Honestly I think that was the best outcome because I was very motivated to get the job just to spite the rude commenter, and I did.

      1. I’m so curious what type of employer 👀 FAANG type company? Or something more unique/prestigious?

        1. Something more unique/prestigious. There were thousands of applicants for my job.

    9. Not advice but life perspectives. We each live different lives and it can be difficult to understand someone who has had very different experiences – whether those are childhood, professional, parenting, or something else. I’ve learned a lot about understanding other people’s perspectives, including about motherhood as someone who doesn’t have kids of her own, by reading posts and responses here. I think I am a better friend because of the different life perspectives that this s!te has given me glimpses of.

      Good thread!

    10. I’ve been reading for ages, and have squirreled away lots of little travel and life tips here and there. But the thing that has probably stuck with me the most is JUST SAY FOOEY AND MOVE ON. Ellen, you were cray cray, but sometimes you just need to JSFAMO.

      1. I got one of the JSFAMO mugs and still use it as my toothbrush holder. Words to live by.

        1. I still use my mug for coffee when it’s one of those days. It’s also the advice I pass down to my daughter and her friends.

    11. I’m glad I’ve listened to all the great advice about how to have more exciting weekends. And I’m glad I ignored everyone who told me I should be open to dating DJs from the Bronx because yall no that would never have worked and I love being single.

      1. OP here and I have to claim a little credit for the first one – I’ve long posted on that subject (big passion of mine) and I’ve been delighted to see specific wording repeated here over the years. I’ve gotten so much great advice myself and that’s the one subject I could pay it forward on.

    12. I posted once about the wife of a friend who made me feel bad about myself because her career, kids, body and home were just better than mine. They still are btw. She has no major flaw. Someone posted something that stung along the lines of “let her have those things.” Seemed too simple to be advice but it was the best thing ever, I don’t know how but it kind of just broke something in me in a really good way and I just don’t compare myself to other people like that anymore. She’s a person with lot of things I admire that really have nothing to do with me so good for her I guess?

      1. wow – thank you for sharing that, it really resonates. (I hate the ‘would you switch places’ or ‘their life is actually probably crappy behind the curtains’ advice because sometimes people do truly have relatively wonderful, easy lives / don’t want to feel better by imagining their dark secrets!)

    13. I borrowed a NYC itinerary posted for something new else and it was fantastic.

        1. Someone here recommended the Claremont hotel in Berkeley and it is my happy place now.
          I never understood “the skirt” and still don’t.

          1. Perhaps the skirt comment means that you understand what it refers to and don’t understand the fuss around it. But in case you don’t understand what it refers to: back when pencil skirts were trending they were very useful for work clothing. Nordstrom carried a particular pencil skirt in a good cut, at a good price, in lots of colors. Commenter’s shorthand for it was “the skirt.”

  4. I know this has been asked, wondering what everyone’s current practice looks like.

    How much do you tip when you get your haircut? Is it a percentage of what you pay, a flat amount, something else? Does it change if you have more services done at once?

    2. My stylist is the owner of the salon so I don’t tip. But I would usually tip 20%.

      1. My stylist is the owner and I’ve been with her since she went out of her own (10+ years ago). She charges under market and I tip her what I feel is market for my haircut.

        Not that anyone else needs to do this, but a situation where I tip her the raises she doesn’t give herself.

        1. Same. My hairdresser is a sole practitioner at her own place and her rate is quite low for the area. I tip her 20% or whatever rounds up to the nearest $5 amount.

        2. I’m tipping my stylist, who rents a chair, roughly 25% because I think she undercharges me. And I tip the assistant $5 most times, but will tip $10 or even $20 if that’s the bill in my wallet. I know that he is going through some health issues, so I’ve been more generous lately.

    3. I tip 20% to the hairdresser who does my haircut. I live in a small Midwest city and the salon does not have a separate shampoo person. I don’t do color.

    4. I appreciate you asking. My practice has always been to tip 20%, but my stylist recently raised her prices to $400 (from $325) for a cut and highlights. (HCOL area.) I had made peace with the fact that I could get my hair done for less than $400 each time inclusive of tip, but now somehow staring down $500 each time feels like a huge leap and it makes me uncomfortable. Somehow the double whammy of service increase plus a corresponding increase in tip, when her work stays the same, feels uncomfortable.

      I know the answer is probably just get over myself, but that’s a lot of money to me!

      1. Holy cow. I’m in a LCOL area and pay $42 for my haircut (at a decently nice salon, not super fancy but not a mall place) inclusive of 20% tip. No highlights but still. That price is bonkers to me.

      3. I feel this angst too, and I get it, prices are up everywhere. I’m in Boston and a cut, color, and highlights is $350 with a tip for me. I alternate that with all over color plus a root touch up which is $225 with tip so it softens the blow a bit. I’m originally from NYC so $200-$300 for color was not outrageous for me but going over $400 is where I start to decide if it’s worth it for highlights or if it’s time to swap to all over color and look into other stylists.

        1. I feel this. I’m paying $370 for (curly) cut, partial highlights and glaze, before tip. Before every appointment I question whether it’s worth it!

      5. My services cost about the same, and while I usually tip 25% because my stylist is really good and I like to be a preferred customer, the price increases may push me down to a 20% tip.

      6. Do you get a full head of highlights every time you get a cut? One option is to alternate appointments between full and partial. Not only to save money, but also because highlights are cumulative, and eventually you lose dimension if you’re doing a full head each time.

      7. Woof – Chicago suburbs and high end salon but I still walk out paying less than $300 incl tip. I don’t think I could stomach $500.

    7. I tip 20% to my stylist for every appointment which are primarily color appointments since I go every 3 weeks. I have never had a separate shampoo person so I can’t speak to that.

    8. London for a cut with wash but no colour or treatment:
      10 pounds to stylist, 5 to hair washer

  5. Is September epically stressful for anyone else this year (on top of all the fun ‘unprecedented events’ we’re living through in the US)? We have family birthdays, kids going back to school, two back to school nights to meet teachers, picture day, ‘spirit day’, an overnight class trip, and we’ve already gotten covid. Oh yea, plus the Jewish holidays midweek. On top of that it’s a busy period for me at work and I truly feel like I’m going to lose it.
    I’m taking walks, cutting waaaay back on media, etc. but my brain feels like it’s melting and it’s only going to ramp up.

    1. Yea, my work is unusually busy for the next couple of months, plus lots of random social events, and between work and *gestures vaguely at the state of the world*, it’s a lot.

    2. Also Jewish with a school age kid and love September, because between the Jewish new year and back to school season it feels like a fresh start. That said we don’t really do much for the high holidays. They learn about/celebrate at Sunday school and we join the Sunday school class for apple picking and tashlich if it fits into our schedule, but don’t feel much guilt about skipping it if it conflicts with other plans, and we don’t really do anything at home except eating apples & caramel sauce (because none of us like honey).

      The year end holidays are when I get burned out. Hanukkah is such an ordeal to me with kids, having to do the festivities over and over again for 8 days straight, while also going to school/work full time (much easier when it falls on winter break but that’s rare) and my daughter always wants to host at least one Hanukkah party. Plus all the stuff associated with Christmas/New Year’s like teacher gifts, giving tree, other people’s holiday parties, etc. I’m becoming a huge grinch about December.

      1. I fried jelly donuts one year at home instead of latkes (delicious but a mess and kind of a pain) and now my kids want to do it every year. I feel so mean pushing back but UGH. We tried storebought but even the ‘good’ ones are just meh near us. I’ve heard good things about an artisan donut shop two towns over so that may be my approach this year.

    3. Yes, the high holy days and in-laws visiting for them are causing more stress than usual. Plus an office that never remembers them so work is bananas.

    5. Yes, work is insane and there is so much happening on the kids/parenting front. My brain is about to short-circuit.

    6. Work generally slows down in August for me, but everyone comes back after Labor Day wanting to accomplish ALL THE THINGS. Then it will slow down again at Thanksgiving and be quiet until New Year’s, and the first week of January is !!!!! again.

  6. Is anyone else alarmed by the way the media will create outrage over things that don’t exist? Like the Sydney Sweeney story was completely manufactured by right-wing bloggers, picked up by right-wing media, and then became a big thing several days later. Ditto with the Kirk stuff. What do you say when someone says they’re disgusted with you for things you haven’t done?

    1. What exactly about the Kirk story “doesn’t exist”? I’m pretty sure I saw a bullet or shrapnel from one pierce his neck, later saw that he died, and saw his coffin being loaded onto Air Force Two.

          1. You’re working hard to ignore the point that his widow had to tell his daughter that he’s gone.

          2. What does the gross misuse of public money have to do with telling their children that daddy isn’t coming home?

          3. His wife told his daughter he’s gone in the most unhinged way possible! That poor girl is going to be feeling guilt for years about her need for blueberries. I know grief does crazy things to people but oof.

    2. If someone says they’re disgusted with me I don’t want them in my life, byeeeeee.

    3. I would not feel comfortable in a relationship with someone whose feelings about me were based on something media told them to think or feel.

      1. I’m the OP – we live in a small town and this was posted on the FB group. I try not to engage with people but hate that more than half of the kids at school and at community events believe these things.

        And the worst part is I’m aware that my opinion of them may be influenced by corrupt sources also! There are two wildly different Americas and no one sees the gray areas, just black or white.

    4. Honestly I don’t engage with people like this. They’re usually not asking questions but raging at thin air.

    5. so i understand… are you are saying that “woke leftists” didn’t make a fuss about the “good jeans” campaign and that instead right wing media started saying that woke leftists did?

    6. The Sweeney stuff was so stupid. I’m totally with you. And on the left, I think the equivalent is the Target stuff, which was also so dumb (as was the right wing Target stuff around Pride merch!).

      I have muted three different old college friends on Instagram over the past 48 hours for justifying “the Kirk stuff.” I am very glad your friends are not doing that, because it was wild to me that adults in their early 40s were so open about being okay with it!

      1. What’s the “Target stuff”? After years of pretending to be an LGBTQ ally, Target shoved Pride merch into the back of their stores and ended their DEI programs. The boycott (which has been successful) was justified. I went from shopping at Target 1-2x/month and spending hundreds of dollars each time, to never shopping there unless there is a Target exclusive my kids want (which has happened once this year).

        So no, the “Target stuff” was not manufactured.

        What’s the “Kirk stuff”? Are you saying that your friends are justifying / celebrating murder? If so, you need new friends. OTOH, are your friends simplpy sharing clips/quotes from Kirk’s speeches/events, or pointing out the irony in his statements about the Second Amendment and gun control? That’s not justifying or celebrating him being killed, FYI. You are not a bad person if you are not worked up over him being gone. That’s not the same as wanting him dead or celebrating it.

        1. Yes, exactly what you’re describing. It’s stupid, not justified. I’m sorry you bought into it!

          Clearly we have very different values, because I do think you should be more concerned about someone getting shot in the neck than where pride merch is located in a store.

          1. I care about someone getting shot in the neck. I’m in favor of gun control for this very reason. I don’t want anyone to get shot. I’m just not going to pretend he was a good person or a loss to humanity. Of course I feel bad for his kids and for anyone who had to witness the attack.

          4. No, sometimes it’s a boon for humanity. You can’t seriously be claiming that ALL deaths are a loss. Some are truly the best occurrence in their victims’ lives. Sometimes humanity is drastically helped by the loss of evil people. Now, Kirk wasn’t important enough for that, but let’s not pretend there aren’t countless men whose deaths will be a blessing.

          6. Could you be more pious? I have NO qualms about celebrating the death of anyone whose sole purpose on earth seems to be causing terror, pain, and suffering in others. Absolutely none. Only a victim of Stockholm Syndrome would disagree.

          7. I’m genuinely sorry you’re so comfortable with your own inhumanity. What a sad way to live.

          8. No, what’s sad is siding with the perpetrators of misery. That’s actually pathetic. You’re like those mothers-in-law that berate daughters-in-law for not worshiping their abusive sons.

          9. I don’t think there’s any benefit to either of us in me engaging with you further. I hope things get better for you.

          10. Come on, clearly there are people whose deaths are not a loss for humanity. That doesn’t mean we should excuse murder because the victim was a bad person, because that’s a slippery slope to vigilante justice and anarchy, but humanity clearly isn’t worse off with Hitler and Bin Laden dead and isn’t worse off with Kirk dead either.

          11. I said every person who is *murdered* is a loss to humanity. Neither of those people were murdered.

          12. Also, holy crap, what a stupid and offensive comparison. Kirk was a fast-talking internet troll. Did you seriously compare him to someone who was primarily responsible for the deaths of eleven million people? Touch grass. Jesus.

          14. And Hitler survived murder attempts only to commit suicide but is that really relevant to whether or not his death was a loss for humanity? Of course the world would have been better off if one of the murder attempts had succeeded.
            I’m not saying Kirk’s assassination was justified or that he’s as evil as Hitler or Bin Laden. But saying every murdered person is a loss for humanity is preposterous. There are some people the world is clearly better off without.

          16. This thread is proof that some people will go full contrarian no matter what. Literally arguing that the world would be better off with Hitler still alive? Lmao, get a life.

          17. Oh, I meant the dumb take was comparing Charlie Kirk to Hitler while simultaneously failing to understand the difference between murder and suicide/war. Only someone who’s perpetually online could think those are good arguments.

          18. Then answer the question: do you wish Hitler had lived longer? Do you wish he had made it to 90 and died surrounded by loved ones?

            You can’t make the point that *every* death is a tragedy and then act like everyone else is just stupid for pointing out that horrific men have existed throughout history and it’s good they died.

          19. I didn’t make the point that every *death* was a tragedy. I made the point that every *murder* is a tragedy. Your failure to understand the distinction even after I’ve made it multiple times is really something special. Like yes, congrats on repeatedly making a point literally no one is disagreeing with or even discussing.

          20. Ugh, nesting fail. Reposting this here.

            And actually, I said any person who is murdered is a loss to humanity, which is a little different than a tragedy. But please do keep on talking about a suicide of a war criminal, it’s super interesting and relevant to this conversation.

          21. Then we fundamentally disagree. If the assassination attempts on Hitler had succeeded, I would have rejoiced. His murder would IN NO WAY be a tragedy. I guess you wouldn’t have. Very, very unhinged but keep sticking to your story, right?

          22. I’m the person who made the original comment about Hitler and Bin Laden and some of the other Anons in this sub thread are not me. I understand that Hitler was not murdered, my point which you are missing is that his manner of death is irrelevant to whether humanity is better off without him. Whether suicide, murder or natural death the world was clearly better off when he was gone. It is weird to die (no pun intended) on the hill that death of a bad person by murder, but only by murder, means that this person’s death is a loss for humanity. The world is better off without bad people no matter how they die.

            As an aside, there was significant debate at the time about whether Bin Laden’s death was lawful under international law and there are plenty of people who view it as unlawful murder. I was all for taking the guy out but it’s not as cut and dried lawful as you make it out to be. But I take the point that killings carried out by governments are different. Hitler was the subject of assassination attempts by individuals though (including some before the war).

          23. I’ve been in the position of being tremendously grateful that because they’re no longer alive, a dangerous person would never again be a threat. But it would have been much better if everyone in the situation could have gotten everything they needed long before. I don’t think even passively embraced destruction is how the good side of a conflict wins. I think some people in this thread need to think through some very basic, i.e., literally cracked dot com level concepts (https://x.com/JasonKPargin/status/1966139875704586259).

          24. I am not “missing” your point. I am saying that you are galavanting off on an unrelated tangent and I’m not interested in going on that field trip with you.

            My statement was “Any person who is murdered is a loss to humanity.” This:

            > It is weird to die (no pun intended) on the hill that death of a bad person by murder, but only by murder, means that this person’s death is a loss for humanity.

            Is a fundamental misreading of what I said. You are seriously tilting at windmills, and I am choosing not to engage with you while you do.

          25. @2:45, thank you. I had no idea people would spend so much energy saying that humanity has lost nothing when a human is murdered if that human’s political takes were bad enough (or spend a dozen comments trying to turn this into a question about use of force and/or death generally).

            Murder—again, using that specific word deliberately—is inherently wrong. Our collective humanity is damaged when people engage in it. Cannot believe that’s controversial in general, but especially when the offense is someone’s speech. (I kinda would’ve been a little sympathetic if someone had brought up, like, a parent killing their child’s killer if they were unfairly acquitted, but that’s a real edge case).

          26. No one said murder is “justified” – just that the world is better off without some nasty people in it after it’s occurred. Or after they’ve died a natural death, or killed themselves. I feel very morally comfortable saying I would not shed a tear for my local sex offender departing this mortal coil. The world is better without some people in it. This seems self-evident to me.

            And no, it’s not always self-defense when an abuse victim finally snaps. It is *to me* but not in a court of law.

          27. Cool! In my view, you’re on that list of people since you are so down with murder. Can you have someone loop back around here when you die so I know it’s party time?

        2. Also, yes, you are a bad person if you were dancing on his grave on Instagram before his body was cold. If you can’t muster sympathy for his children, surely you can at least muster decorum for the people you know who may have had gun violence affect their lives.

          1. Here is a sampling of Kirk quotes:

            “Joy Reid, Michelle Obama, Sheila Jackson Lee, and Ketanji Brown Jackson are affirmative action picks.” who “stole a white person’s slot to be taken seriously.”

            “Jewish communities have been pushing the exact kind of hatred against whites that they claim to want people to stop using against them,”… “the philosophical foundation of anti-whiteness has been largely financed by Jewish donors in the country.”

            “the left “won’t stop until you and your children and your children’s children are eliminated” and that “illegals” could steal your home.”

            Haiti is “legitimately infested with demonic voodoo” and Haitian migrants would “become your masters” if Trump lost the election. Kirk also amplified the claim that Haitian migrants were eating people’s pets in Springfield, Ohio.

            “Black crime is a major issue in our country” and that “prowling Blacks go around for fun to go target white people.”

            Just FYI! I do not feel bad for refusing to act like this is some great loss for humanity. Nor do I celebrate his or anyone else’s death.

          3. Well, as a wise man once said, “it’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights.” I bet that made people who have had gun violence affect their lives feel really good.

          4. I absolutely love the logic of “I think he’s a shitty person so let me be a shitty person, too.” Do you people genuinely have no standards for yourselves? Embarrassing. Just embarrassing.

          5. May each of you never have the opportunity to learn whether this sort of behavior is helpful or harmful to people affected by gun violence.

          6. I don’t appreciate you weaponizing the tragedy that is gun violence to silence other people who are doing nothing but sharing Kirk’s own words.
            These are his words. If they reflect poorly upon him or make you uncomfortable, you should reflect on that.

            I wonder if his comment on the second amendment, made in the wake of a school shooting, was helpful or harmful to victims of gun violence?

            Being the victim of gun violence does not make him (or anyone else) immune from criticism.

          7. I see you lack the perceptiveness to realize that *I* am a victim of gun violence who is saying that your comments are unhelpful and gross.

            Congrats on using Google, tho! You sure educated me on why it’s okay to not be sad that this guy’s kids will probably someday watch the video of his neck exploding!!! I had no idea that he held beliefs I would find distasteful before this; wow u r just so insightful and deep!!!!

          8. Also, yeah, his comments sucked for me! Congrats on honoring his legacy by repeating them as a way to “contextualize” yet another body being ripped up by bullets!

          9. I mean, he literally thought empathy was a made up thing, so I really genuinely wonder about whether he’d express empathy if a person who espoused different views from him experienced the same fate. Based on his own words, no, I don’t think so, which makes it interesting that folks are so determined to do it on his behalf.

          11. Is it not true that Kirk said he preferred the concept of sympathy to empathy and advocated for sympathy instead? I disagree with him about apparently everything, but that sends a really different message to me than “empathy is just bad.” It seems more like a sophistical youth pastor line (that I would also disagree with) than like railing against both empathy and sympathy and anything comparable.

            Now that it’s looking like he was targeted for being too centrist and not antisemitic enough, the “he got what he was asking for” takes send a bit of a strange message.

        3. Anonymous at 4:44, you seem really upset. I think you should step away from this conversation. You’re attributing things to people that they did not say. I did not say that no one should be sad that his kids will have to see this. But that’s irrelevant to his ideas and criticism of those ideas. I feel for his children who lost their father, but that doesn’t mean I have to refrain from repeating his words, which are horrible. I am not saying them to justify him being shot, and it’s dishonest and unacceptable
          to say that I am. I simply pointed out that he also made comments that would be damaging to survivors of gun violence, which you (oddly) don’t seem to care about. I wonder why.

          Repeating his vile words doesn’t make anyone a shitty person. Saying them in the first place makes someone (Kirk) a shitty person.

          1. Love seeing girlies using “you seem really upset” to dismiss other women’s concerns instead of considering whether maybe there’s some value in them.

          2. “I’m going to act in a cruel and inflammatory way, then say that you seem really upset.”

            Vile.

          3. “Repeating his vile words doesn’t make anyone a shitty person. Saying them in the first place makes someone (Kirk) a shitty person.”

            Yep.

        4. Please listen to his entire statement on gun control. If you only read the two sentences, you have no idea what he’s talking about.

        5. Oh, I meant the dumb take was comparing Charlie Kirk to Hitler. Only someone who’s perpetually online could think that’s a good argument.

        6. And actually, I said any person who is murdered is a loss to humanity, which is a little different than a tragedy. But please do keep on talking about a suicide of a war criminal, it’s super interesting and relevant to this conversation.

          1. When you’re arguing that Hitler’s death is a loss to humanity, you’ve totally lost the plot.

          2. Someone tried to assassinate Hitler in 1932 before he had done any war crimes. The world would have been indisputably better off if that person had succeeded. The fact that he eventually died by suicide in a war is irrelevant to the point that not every murder victim is a loss to humanity.

          3. Answer me this direct question: if the assassin had succeeded in 1932, would Hitler’s death have been a loss for humanity? If yes, you and I have fundamentally different values. If no, you’re directly contradicting what you said above.

            This isn’t even about Kirk. He’s obviously not as bad as Hitler. I’m just arguing your idiotic statement that every murder is a loss for humanity.

          4. “This isn’t even about Kirk. He’s obviously not as bad as Hitler. I’m just arguing your idiotic statement that every murder is a loss for humanity.”

            +1000. But that poster backed herself into a stubborn corner.

          5. Please see the discussion above; each of you are really failing basic reading comprehension tests here.

          6. You’ve clearly stated every murder is a loss for humanity, and we think you’re dead wrong and that it would have been better for humanity if Hitler had been murdered, yes, murdered, in 1932. What could be clearer? You mourn the idea of that; we mourn the 12 million he murdered instead.

          7. I don’t believe in predestination. You do? Like, you believe that if science could tell you which people are going to be murderers, we should go ahead and proactively kill them? I think there was a Will Smith movie about that, and I don’t think it ended super well for anyone!

          8. Also, what’s your cutoff here? If you kill 12 million, sure, yes, off him. What about if it’s just 1 person? How far in advance do you want to snuff them out? How would you accuracy test whether you’re offing the right people?

            Otherwise, you’re basically saying “we shouldn’t mourn murder victims, because one of them could’ve perpetrated a genocide.” Cool. Is that also your philosophy about all deaths? Literally all deaths? Your own mom could get murdered and you’d be like “thank god someone got her before she entered her despot era”?

            So silly.

          9. Murder is and should be criminalized because we don’t have vigilante justice and can’t predict the future. It doesn’t change the fact that “any person who is murdered is a loss for humanity” is a false statement unless you believe that there’s no person that humanity is better off without.

          10. Name a murder victim you’re cool got murdered, please. For purposes of this exercise, by murder, I mean their killer was tried and convicted of murder in American courts. Really wondering which murderers you think got it right.

          11. I don’t think Kirk’s death is a loss for humanity. While not at the level of the world’s most famous dictators and terrorists he was a terrible person who spread virulent hatred and blatant misinformation and the misinformation about Covid in particular probably contributed pretty directly to many deaths. I feel pretty confident humanity is better off without him. I still think the person who murdered him should go to jail because murder is illegal for good reasons. Presumably if Hitler’s assassin had succeeded in 1932 and been caught and I’d been on the jury I would have voted to convict him too but it wouldn’t have changed the fact that it was not a bad thing for humanity. You can believe murder should be criminalized without viewing every murdered person as a loss to humanity.

          12. I mean, you can believe whatever you want (and can judge me for my beliefs). I can also believe whatever I want (and can judge you for those beliefs). Sounds like that’s where we’re both going to have to leave this.

          13. +1 for Anon at 3:57.

            As for murder victims the world is truly better off without, the list is endless. Every p3do killed in prison, every domestic abuser who got away with 40 years of assault and r@pe before his wife finally lost it, every serial killer put before the firing squad. Extrajudicial killings should always be prosecuted, but not every victim deserves a moment of silence.

          14. I fundamentally disagree with you that prison violence is morally justified. The wife situation is self defense in America, and a firing squad is meting out capital punishment; they are not committing murder.

            It is very annoying that 2/3 of your examples of justified murder simply are not murder at all.

    7. Very, very alarmed. I have to admit I’m falling into a pit of despair over the state of education and critical thinking in this country, media literacy, the media landscape, and just the general fact that people seem to have lost any sense of restraint or guardrails on appropriate commentary. I used to think that things were slowly but surely getting better, and that common sense and reason would ultimately prevail. I no longer think that, and feel like we’re facing a tidal wave of unstoppable brain rot and people willing to use that brain rot for their own nefarious aims. I am already seeing mainstream right wing media calling for the Trump admin to use the full weight of the federal government to investigate and punish “the left” for Kirk’s murder and the purported epidemic of violent extremism(?????) “the left” has wrought on America.

    8. The Cracker Barrel issue was also absurd. How on earth is a logo and interior redesign “woke”? No one actually said. But right wing media kept pounding the story… it was on the Fox News home page and opinion page for weeks. I highly doubt that the average conservative even cares about Cracker Barrel’s redesign (who would??) but why waste an opportunity to try to get people angry at “woke”?

      1. And yet Cracker Barrel backed down! So the outrage campaign was effective. And thereby will fuel more

        1. My favorite recent quote was “I’m proud to have lived my life in such a way that I have no reaction to Cracker Barrel changing their logo”

      2. This is the answer. You calmly explain that you haven’t been following anything else; that you’ve been tirelessly lobbying for the Cracker Barrel to streamline their logo. For months. For years. Sure, there was a set back but you’ll persevere! They can declare war on us; they can strip us of our rights but no matter! We will get that kitschy logo stripped of all its serifs. No graphics, just an abstract barrel. That is the liberal dream for America!

    9. Back away slowly. My kid is applying to college and I haven’t committed any felonies in the recent past.

      1. Which is to say, I do not have a lot of time for anything, including the nonsense of someone who needs to be “disgusted” with me for something I have left undone.

        Someone (and it’s not me) should write a story about the history of controversy and denim sales (Brooke Shields, those Calvin Klein ads in the 1990s, Sydney Sweeney, Anna Nicole Smith, etc., etc.)

    10. I’m not “alarmed” especially, but I refuse to get outraged over stupid things. Didn’t know who Sydney Sweeney was, and actually I’m not entirely sure, I think she’s an actress? Anyway, she and her commercial are not important.

      I expect Target to offer a variety of products at fair prices, treat their employees well, and make a positive contribution to their community. They seem to do this. I do not care about their stance on social issues, and prefer they don’t tell me.

      The facts are that Charlie Kirk said he thought it’s worth it to unfortunately have some gun deaths every single year so we can have the second amendment. It’s also a fact that Charlie Kirk is one of those gun deaths. Ergo, in his own words, his death is worth it. His words, not mine. I despise that anyone is harmed due to their political views. If someone is disgusted with me for stating facts, oh well.

    11. Here is the 48 second clip in which Charlie Kirk explains his views on gun violence:

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rMzr5cDKza0

      His point is the opposite of what you all claim it is. He advocates for getting gun deaths as low as possible, but says they they cannot be zero. “We should have a reductionist view, not a utopian view.” He has suggestions for reducing gun deaths.

      He explicitly said that the Second Amendment is there to protect our other rights.

      The fact that he was shot while (and for) exercising his First Amendment rights is, in fact, the exact opposite of his point.

      Now, this involves intelligence and nuance, so I expect zero women on this board to understand. You’ll all just sip your $8 coffee from your BMW and make some snarky comment, as if that’s a substitute for the necessary critical thinking of living in a democratic republic.

      1. Who did you vote for? Do you support universal healthcare, especially for mental health? Mandatory maternity leave?

        It’s sad for his wife and child sure but the world is better off.

      2. Oh man, I was so on board with your comment until your last paragraph, because I like hearing context from people who have a different viewpoint than I do. What an unnecessary and unintelligent addendum that unfortunately undermines the entire rest of your comment. You will have more success communicating in the future if you keep your contempt to yourself.

        1. The contempt is because they aren’t arguing in good faith, they cheered on school shootings and the incredible tragedies of the Hortmans

      3. Thank you for posting the link. Yes, he says gun deaths should be minimized and eliminating them is not realistic. But what are the solutions that he thinks are appropriate to reduce gun deaths? He cites exactly two items, presumably to allude to a more comprehensive set of policies that he wasn’t going to go into detail about in this interview. The two illustrative examples for his position: 1. Get more fathers into the home, 2. Get more armed guards in front of schools.

    12. In general lately I think most extreme outrage is manufactured by Chinese or Russian internet farms or AI bots. If someone were to tell me to my face that my group of people did something, I would ask them where they got that idea from. I rarely conclude that what people post as rage-bait or echo-chamber actually is what they apply to thinking about me, personally. If it is, they’re not my friend, and I avoid them. I know I try not to think “all those other groups of people feel this same way against my group of people”. That is literally prejudice. Let’s be smarter than that

  7. My bedroom is right above the kitchen. I recently started running an air purifier in the bedroom, and I’ve noticed that whenever I have cooked in the kitchen on the gas stove, the air purifier light is red (meaning very poor air quality) and it kicks into high gear for hours. I usually cook with the kitchen door open and the fan running. Is this normal, or is there a problem? If I should have someone look at it, what kind of contractor would that be?

    1. Does your fan vent outdoors? Gas is very bad for air quality but if it vents outdoor it shouldn’t be that bad.

    2. Personally this is something I would never worry about, but of it bugs you, you proceed a better exhaust fan. That’s an appliance upgrade and requisite handyman.

      1. This kind of response is so dismissive. Indoor air pollution is a health hazard, not OP’s personal pet peeve, and being too cool to care isn’t actually cool. There’s always a response in this vein whenever anyone wants to switch away from plastics or anything else vaguely environmental.

        1. I think it’s fair to have different degrees of caring about health hazards. A lot of things are known to be connected with worse health outcomes. Someone might care a lot about sunscreen, but also drink wine regularly. Or what have you. The availability and quality of statistical evidence varies for each issue, and it’s realistic that an individual person may not recall them in detail.
          The response acknowledged this, but also provided a solution. I think that’s the opposite of dismissive: trying to help even though you don’t have a stake in this issue.

          1. Thank you. Also OP appeared perplexed by whether it was an issue or not and my data point for her is that it is not an issue.

    3. I can’t answer your questions. But a starting place might be to go to the manufacturer’s site and see if they have any info or FAQs.

    4. Do you have an actual hood vent or a recirculating fan above your gas stove? Gas stoves are the largest source of pollutants in the home so the first step would be having someone install an actual hood vent. My house is the same and is not properly vented because I have the type of exhaust fan you put above an electric stove. Same thing happens every time I use it. The only other quick fix is to open outside windows and run the air purifier on high until the red goes away.

      1. It’s an actual hood vent (vents to the exterior) and it was installed as part of a kitchen renovation 3-4 years ago. But that contractor ended up being a disaster, so I don’t have 100% faith in them having done it right.

        1. I’d have someone come look at it for peace of mind. We found out in an inspection that our bathroom fan was venting into the attic instead of outside and caused a huge moisture problem with the wood up there.

        2. I would also have it inspected because it may have been installed incorrectly or it could be blocked for some reason. Does your air purifier also have an activated charcoal filter as well? I have several air purifiers but only one with the charcoal filter.

          2. I’m guessing they mean the supply lines and just aren’t familiar with terminology

    6. Whatever else you do, make sure you have a carbon monoxide alarm in your bedroom.

    7. This doesn’t sound normal yo to me if you’re regularly using a vent hood to the outdoors. Gas stoves are probably the leading source of indoor air pollution, but the steps you’ve taken to mitigate that should be leaving you better off than what you’ve described.

    8. Could just be the airflow pattern in your house? We have certain rooms upstairs in which you can smell what’s cooking in the kitchen, often the room above the kitchen but in one house it was the room at the top of the stairs. If your air purifier is handling it and cleaning the air quickly I wouldn’t be worried. When I use my induction stove to sauté things the air purifier in the kitchen goes crazy (with the red light and full power), and it’s not because of gas. Cooking oil, etc also gets into the air

    9. I think this is one of the main reason there are efforts to ban gas stoves. They make for bad indoor air quality. I think it is both normal and a problem.

      1. yup. Berkeley ultimately lost in the courts about phasing out gas cooking in new buildings, but research on air quality was the reason for the move, in addition to the push for electrification.

  8. Does this exist? I’d like to be able to find exhibitions featuring Expressionists (or specific artists) on the NE corridor. Is there some sort of app that lets me search all the galleries at once?

    1. I would love this. I don’t know of any app. My work around is to sign up for newsletters/alerts on museum websites in the area I would be willing to go to and keep an eye out for things that look interesting.
      Also, hello fellow Expressionism fan!

    2. You can use a search engine. There are many websites that have such information, in addition to occasional “Upcoming Exhibits” in major newspapers. You don’t need an “app.”

    3. I’m not in the US, but maybe there is something comparable there, so I’m leaving this tip. With the ticketing app I use the most, I can look up tags in the search bar, like “monologues” for theater productions or “expressionism” for exhibitions. It only works if the gallery used that tag when they uploaded the show to the app, but it often does. Note that these days, even free events require timed tickets, so most are on the app.

    4. FYI, I was looking at the NY Times fall preview culture listings and noted there will be an exhibition of German Expressionist Ercich Heckel’s work at the Neue Gallerie in NYC from Oct 9 – Jan 12. There is also an exhibition at the Guggenheim of another German Expressionist, Gabriele Munter, Nov 7 – April 26.

      1. PS – I used to find listings of gallery shows by reading Art Forum, and it looks like the magazine is still going and has web-based listing as well as an app, ArtGuide. I think if you search an artist name there you might have some luck. Searching for expressionism in the web version brings up a lot of galleries that specialize in abstract expressionism, which is not what you want. The listings may be paid (ads), and if so probably focus more on current than future exhibitions.

  9. I am receiving an unexpected bonus that will be around $10,000 after taxes (work has been a nightmare this year, so this was a welcome surprise). My retirement account is fully funded and I have a healthy emergency fund. So, I am considering buying stocks or bonds. Would you buy $10,000 in I bonds, $10,000 in individual stocks, or some other financial option, e.g., ETF funds? My non-retirement investments are 90% mutual funds/ETFs and 10% individual stocks.

    1. Depends on your risk tolerance. Personally, I would always choose equities over bonds outside of some pretty narrow scenarios (approaching retirement, for one). I would default to your favorite ETF absent and major ideas about stocks you think are a buy right now.

  12. What’s the Supreme Court case where the court decided that “a well-regulated militia” meant an individual rather than a group of soldiers? Or blah blah to the effect of neutering the “well-regulated militia” clause? No 2A in my con law class.

  13. We need to renew our umbrella insurance and there’s a question of whether we should add more uninsured/underinsured motorist coverage. It would be about $400 more per year for up to $1M in coverage. Our current coverage through our car insurance is $100K/300K each person/each accident. We also have good health insurance. Do we need this additional coverage? I find it really hard to tell what’s genuinely good coverage and what’s a money grab for the insurance companies. Located in CA.

    1. Your entire umbrella is $400 right, not just increased UM coverage?

      Otherwise that sounds like way too much.
      UMBI and UiMBI are for your own injuries if you’re hit by an uninsured motorist. If you have good medical coverage I wouldn’t worry about it. Your umbrella should be mainly protecting you from your own liability for harm / damages to others.

    2. I believe many people are still woefully underinsured or uninsured in California. They don’t understand the $30,000 coverage means any expenses over that amount will come out of their pocket. I’d go for more coverage, just because cars and medical costs are so expensive now. For context, I drive a 20+ year old clunker in a town filled with BMWs, MBs and other very expensive cars.

    3. Why is your car insurance coverage so low? 100k is not good per individual. I would max that out first.

  14. My teenage son is trying to build muscle and requested a protein powder to supplement his diet. Any recommendations for reputable brands and products?

    3. Puori, if you dont mind subscrition models. There are tons of coupon codes floating around as well. Barbell Medine is also good. It’s sold by 2 MD trained power lifters and they have a lot of evidence to back up their claims about it. It goes on sale a few times a year. He might enjoy their podcast as well even if his training is different.

    4. My dietician recommended Gainful. It’s also a subscription and it tailored to your goals. I liked it and it wasn’t that sweet. The best thing was that it was truly simple to cancel and no questions asked. To get started though, I can see just getting a container of Orgain from the grocery store to see if he has a flavor he prefer or if this will stick as a habit.

    6. I thought protein powders were regulated as supplements and not as food, so that it was a buyer beware category broadly. That said, we get Vital Proteins at Costco.

      I try to avoid any ingredients that have been linked in research to intestinal inflammation because of questions about colon cancer in fit, active, health conscious young people and whether it will ever be linked to fitness supplements.

      1. They actually are regulated as food, but not as drugs/medicine (so there isn’t as much proactive quality testing, and there isn’t “does it actually help more than placebo”) but eg. the FDA should still respond if there is a food poisoning outbreak tied to them. I just make a point of buying mine at a normal grocery store with supply chain people, and figure their PR-driven sense of self preservation should protect from the most egregious “sold online and full of lead” type scandals.

  15. What did you do for a milestone birthday? My 50th is next month and my husband is trying to figure out how to celebrate it. I have no idea how to guide him — my birthdays were largely blown off & dismissed by former partners, so I learned to scoff at them and say “I really don’t need anything.” But I think that’s a self-protective habit rather than something that’s true.

    But the problem is that I’ve never really asked myself what I want, so I’m struggling even to imagine it. If you celebrated in a way that you really loved, I’d love to hear it!

    1. Trips. I spent my 30th in Paris and my 40th in the Greek islands. For 50 I’m eyeing South Africa.

    2. Trips for me too, although big trips don’t currently happen on my actual birthday in May because I have school age kids and that’s a hard time of year to get away for a big trip. #maycember (iykyk).
      For my 30th (pre-kids) my husband and I went to Vegas for my birthday weekend. For my 40th, I was at a dance recital dress rehearsal and school picnic on my actual birthday, we did a staycation at a fancy hotel in the nearby big city the following week to jointly celebrate our birthdays (his is two weeks after mine) and we went to South Africa a few months later as the big trip. South Africa was incredible, definitely a dream destination that lived up to the hype, but I think the staycation felt more like a celebration because of the proximity to the actual birthday.

    3. If time does not permit a nice trip somewhere fabulous, how about asking your husband to coordinate a celebratory dinner at a nice restaurant with 6 of your best friends. Or a nice pair of diamond stud earrings.

    4. I’m realizing I have absolutely no clue how I spent my 30th, but a fun week in Europe is what I did for my 40th.

      I have thought about a big party for my 50th, but most of my friends are so much younger than I am that I’m not sure I want to draw attention to my advanced age. So there’s a decent chance I do an even bigger trip then.

  16. Smell help, please. I’m horrible with plants but managed to grow a beautiful avocado tree from a pit that came from Mom’s backyard avocado. It lived in our bedroom last winter. Unbeknownst to me, the planter tray thing had a hidden water compartment which molded. We only found it after days of searching and taking almost everything out of the room and playing the isolation game with bathroom, closet, etc. It was so stressful. Well, the tree is now happily outside and the planter tray is in the trash. But the room still has a smell. I wiped down all the walls. I used industrial odorcide. We rented one of those rug doctors. I have an air purifier going 24/7 and open windows. It’s still there! It’s faint but it’s like a sharp vinegar or paint smell and it gives me an instant headache. What else can we do?

    1. Oof, sorry to hear that, must be driving you crazy. Reading what you have already tried, there is not much left.
      Given you have already tried to remove the odour (sprays, air purifier), it seems the mold is still in the room. If you can find a mold-removing spray for walls/floors/carpets… that would be my best bet. Look for a spray safe for indoor walls, that will not damage the finish.
      You could also try to sprinkle baking soda on the floor and carpet to see if it absorbs the odour.

      1. I forgot to mention I have charcoal baggies in every corner, under the bed, in all the drawers, and it’s still there!

    3. What is under the rug? Concrete or wood? If concrete, pull out the rug and rug pad, thoroughly clean and then seal the concrete only after you are certain the smell is gone. Then start over with a new rug. If it’s wood, I am not sure what to do.

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