Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Fringe Mix Jacket
This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
This fringed jacket from Nic + Zoe is a fun twist on your basic black blazer. I really like the details at the cuffs and the mix of tweedy textures. Also, if you’re on the bustier side, I find that this type of blazer (no buttons, wing lapels) is more flattering than your traditional one- or two-button jacket because you won’t get that awkward pulling when it’s fastened.
I would wear this with some high-waisted ankle pants or over a dress in a contrasting color for a formal look that isn’t a full suit.
The blazer is on sale for $75 (marked down from $218) at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 1X–3X.
Karl Lagerfield Paris has an option in straight sizes that is on sale for $67.05 (marked down from $149) at Macy's.
Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
- How do you celebrate milestone birthdays?
- How do you account for one-time expenses in your monthly budget?
- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
- when to toss old clothes of a different size
- a list of political actions to take right now
- ways to increase your intelligence
- what to wear when getting sworn in as a judge (congrats, reader!)
- how to break into teaching as a second career
I am eligible for a new computer at work and can choose between Windows and Mac. Because the available Windows options have historically been prone to hardware issues, I am considering a Mac. I will have this computer for the next 4 years.
I am a social science researcher who uses a variety of statistical packages, primarily R, Stata, and SPSS but occasionally also RATS, eVIews, and MPlus. I am just beginning to use Python. Years ago, the conventional wisdom was that Windows was for statistical computing and Macs were for graphic design, but I now see more and more people in my field with Macs. Fellow data nerds, is switching to a Mac a good idea or should I stick with Windows?
I use a Mac for UX/UI and engineering work, not exactly data but somewhat adjacent. I love the OS for stability; my only gripe about my work computer is always due to mismanagement by IT. We have unskilled Mac coverage (company is 99% PC) and they make up for their lack of knowledge with draconian policies that lock us out of even the simplest things.
My programmer husband and all his colleagues use Mac.
Post on Stack Exchange – I’ve seen dozens of similar questions from quants and academic researchers there!
I use both and they’re both pretty versatile. You can always use virtual machines on a mac if there are windows-only things you want to do. To me the important thing would be if your work was willing to get you a mac docking station setup – pretty much a default with corporate windows laptops but not as often with macs.
It’s been a while but when I had a Mac in a mostly windows environment, all of the home grown applications the company used were supposed to also work on a Mac but they didn’t, or they didn’t have full functionality in the Mac. It was very frustrating. I eventually switched back to Windows.
I would lose so much efficiency by losing my keyboard shortcuts if I switched to a Mac that it doesn’t make sense at this point. I use my keyboard for everything (to the extent that sometimes it reminds me of playing the piano): switching applications, opening new tabs in my web browser, moving/replying/filing emails, everything in Microsoft office. My husband has a Mac and it infuriates me that the same shortcuts don’t work, even in non-Office applications. I’m totally reliant upon a mouse when I use a Mac and I hate it – and it slows me down by 20% or more. If you are also a heavy user of keyboard shortcuts, may be worth considering from that angle.
I am the same with the keyboard shortcuts! Particularly in Excel.
This is me, only opposite. My Mac shortcuts often fail on a PC. The online programs that work fine, are the ones originally used for Mac, like Adobe stuff.
Really? I use the keyboard way more on my Mac than the mouse. Command-Tab switches between open applications. Com-T opens a new tab in most browsers (I use three on my MacBook). Most of the CTL-xxx commands translate easily to COM-XXX on the Mac. Even Excel works fine with a lot of key-stroke things vs. the mouse. The mouse slows me down, so I’ve got so many things memorized.
I’m on a data team and half of us have Windows, half have Macs. It’s really personal preference at this point.
Windows tends to be compatible with far more programs and isn’t prone to yanking software off your computer that has a contractual issue with them like applie products. If you can get a Mac that runs the Windows OS that’s the best of both worlds.
I’m also a social scientist, and I’ve found that both are fine, but there are quirks to switching. If you’re a Stata user, you’ll find that the Mac version of Stata can’t open multiple instances of the program. Because I learned Stata on a Mac, it acts exactly the way I expect and I get confused when I’m on Windows and suddenly have multiple Statas open. If you use R, you’ll need to switch to R Studio or maybe something like Sweave to combine R output with Latex code. I agree with the poster who said it’s entirely personal preference at this point.
For those of you who have served in the military, how did you choose which branch you joined?
I’ve decided that joining the military makes sense for me both personally and professionally and I’ve started reaching out to a few branches to talk to officer recruiters, but I’m having trouble figuring out pros/cons of each branch. I’m leaning towards active duty, but am having similar questions about choosing active duty / reserves / national guard.
How old are you? What is your background (any post-high school education/training?). Do you have a long-term career goal, and how long would you like to stay in the military (4 years and out, or try to make it to retirement at 20+?). Is there a physical place you prefer to live (AKA Navy/Coast Guard are clearly better if you want to live near the coasts).
Mid 20s, with a bachelors and would like to use the GI Bill for my masters. I work in government and kind of caught the bug to join the military because I have been working alongside the military off and on for the past few years on various projects (so there’s crossover between my civilian career and the military). As of now, I’m just interested in 4 years, but if I love it I could see myself staying for 20 (or starting active and finishing my career in the reserves).
I like cities, which makes the Air Force attractive, but also love the water so Navy/Coast Guard could be nice.
IIRC the Coast Guard is part of the Department of Transportation. But also sort-of military. IDK how that matters for GI bill, pension, TriCare, etc.
why is this in mod?
Department of T—
The Coast Guard is under the Dept of Homeland Security and they are a military branch. You get all of the same benefits including the GI bill.
I went to grad school (MPP) and law school with a few active duty officers whose education was being funded by the military while they were drawing full pay. It seemed like a pretty great deal. One even got a promotion while she was in law school. All had served for a few years before entering grad school. I would look into those programs.
Air Force and Navy have the best food and accommodations. If you can’t stomach the idea of deploying on a ship, then go Air Force.
While there are, of course, rivalries among all branches, those not CG definitely make fun of CG in a different way than say Army vs. Navy.
Have you checked out the CG uniforms for women?
I will say that the rumor that the Navy spent more $ on housing seemed to be well-founded from the Navy vs other housing I have seen.
B/c I was stupid when I was younger, I ruled out Navy based on the white dress shoes. BUT the good news is that at least the Army now allows (generally) for ponytails (not just buns / very short hair). Clearly, I was Private Benjamin.
I’ve definitely been looking into uniforms as well as the rules about earrings, nail polish and hair. It feels inconsequential but if you’re wearing something day in and day out, it matters!
I posted above, But the CG uniforms for women are . . . unflattering.
Also, it was apparent that I’d either need to cut my hair or up my french-braiding / bun-making game. 20 years later, the ponytail news was tragically exciting.
Not personally in the military, but my husband is former active duty Army and now a reservist. I also have several family members who are current or retired military. If you have any health conditions (and the list is pretty long), the choice may be made for you. My husband was denied by the Air Force for something silly like psoriasis, but accepted by the Army. This was also peak Iraq/Afghanistan so the rules might have changed since then.
If we weren’t married, I think my husband would have re-joined active duty. Reserves were a compromise so that he could still have the experience, but I wouldn’t be constantly in transition. He seems to like it, but says the admin side is a lot more disorganized than active duty.
Good luck on your decision. IIRC, there are a lot of message boards for each branch that DH perused before deciding to get re-involved in the military.
Funny you say this – my husband was denied by the Coast Guard because of something super minor he had as a kid… which he had grown out of by the age of 8 or so. Well, he literally got denied, asked them to shred the documents, then walked across the hall and enlisted in the Navy.
I would look at where you would be most likely to be stationed.
I would only join if you are willing to go to war, have a good understanding of what that actually entails, and are certain you possess the constitution for it. My relative enlisted in the Army as a way to escape a bad situation. Based on her specialty, she counted on being stationed at a base in the U.S. for her entire enlistment. Then 9/11 happened and she found herself in the middle of a war. The distinction between combat and non-combat positions is a lot less meaningful than you might be led to believe. She was not a person psychologically suited to any sort of physical or mental hardship, let alone combat, and suffered permanent consequences.
Prior to this, I seriously considered OCS and decided that although many aspects of military life were very attractive, I did not want to run the risk of actually fighting in a war even though at that time war seemed quite unlikely.
Agree with this point. The military go to war. Be prepared for that. Can you live in danger for extended periods? Are you willing to risk seeing people killed? Your interest seems superficial.
But I think that is also typical — I am in the Army because we are an Army family; I am in the Navy b/c I needed $ for school and wanted training and otherwise had no good post-high school plan; I am in the Air Force because I want to fly planes (vs kill people or be shot at). You don’t have to bleed Army green to sign up.
Even though people frequently do join without thinking about the realities of combat, it’s a terrible idea. The military is an essential profession and a noble calling, but not everyone is cut out for it. A person who doesn’t have the psychological makeup for combat is a risk to herself and everyone around her. And it’s surprisingly easy to find yourself in a combat situation. Even non-combat military life demands a certain sort of character; if you don’t have it, you will be destroyed.
If OP is thinking about nail polish rules she also needs to be thinking about seeing dead bodies and getting shot at.
Culturally, it is different than typical civilian life (that said, most of my military friends are medical personnel, so similar and different, or pilots or engineers). I’d talk to as many people as you can find, particularly women, as close to your field as possible. Three of my female friends stayed in until retirement (two doctors, one who went in straight from high school and married her husband; all 3 are Air Force). My guy friends have also stayed in until retirement, but I think that that is more typical for men vs women.
I’m prepared for that. Being a kid of the mid 90s, I hardly remember a time when the US wasn’t at war – so the possibility of war is definitely something I’m aware of. Of course, you never know how things will impact you until you experience them but I’m aware it’s a possibility.
I work in a homeland security adjacent field and my dream career would be working in international humanitarian aid so I’m both pretty aware of the current situation, and am prepared for a challenging career.
I’ve gone back and forth on joining the military since I was 18, but had some work experiences lately that are giving me the final push I needed. Over the years, I’ve done a ton of research but now that I’m committed to actually doing it, I’m just figuring out the details (like that I’m interested in Civil Affairs but in the Army, you can’t join as a Lieutenant; the Air Force has emergency management as a job specialty but other branches don’t – though it’s certainly a main aspect of the coast guard ; I have the utmost respect for the Marines I work with, but I’m not sure if I’m cut out to be a Marine)
I don’t think OP is going to put every detail of whether she is comfortable with killing people on a fashion blog for opinions. Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt that she understands the importance of what she is asking.
Thank you. You can understand the risk of deploying to a war zone while also wanting to wear nail polish!
Most people don’t, though.
She’s asking how people made their decisions about military service. This is an important consideration.
Being deployed to a war zone is a definite possibility of being in the military, but there are tons and tons of jobs within each branch that keep you pretty far from the conflict. Sure crazy things happen, but not everyone is in the infantry and actively shooting at people. You do also have some small choice in where you go for deployments and assignments, particularly as an officer.
Pretty much any career you could think of in civilian world exists in the military somewhere.
But you cannot enlist with that intent. I graduated from an elite college in 2006 and had many, many friends (20+) between high school friends and college friends do OCS and/or enlist after graduation (HS or college). Every single one of them, regardless of their role or military branch, was shipped overseas because we were a country at war. Not every one of them got shot at directly, but they were all in an active war zone. One of my friends was a translator/linguist. it was a “desk job” except she was stationed in Egypt where bombs were going off around her. Another friend was some kind of officer doing community liason-ing (he then did JAG and is now a politcian) and was basically charged with shaking hands and kissing babies…and found himself firing his weapon on occasion. I had a friend in the marines that was a communications officer. he was in a combat zone for 4 years.
Another friend did OCS then went to military medical school and a medic and somehow also was a paratrooper for a while . He was shot at, and cleaned up people that were exploded or shot at.
I’m a first responder so while not the same as being deployed to a war zone, I’m not coming from a total desk job either.
And linguists don’t always get desk jobs. Sometimes they are on radios. In Humvees.
If you are interested in science or a medical area, you might want to look into the US Public Health Service: https://www.usphs.gov/
They are not technically “military” but are part of the uniformed services. And anecdotally, if you are walking around Annapolis in a PHS uniform, you will be saluted by cadets.
People I know in PHS helped at hospitals during COVID, and not necessarily doing patient care – some were involved in tracking and keeping statistics about the outbreaks. Others have been involved in vaccine distribution.
I also used to work closely with the Public Health Service and think they (and NOAA Corps) are so cool! Alas – I don’t have a medical / science background so that’s a no go. I do encourage my medical friends to look into it, though!
My sister in her late 20s recently completed Naval OCS and loves her job so far. She’s always enjoyed being on the water and sailing and adventuring so the Navy was definitely the right choice for her (although it turns out being an officer is a lot more desk job type work than she anticipated). Navy also just seems a lot less dangerous than Army or Marines. Air Force is a very unique calling, so I think if you really wanted to be a pilot, you’d know. The Navy had some scope as to what the different things you could specialize in would be: surface warfare, supply chain, intelligence, Navy pilots, etc. She is stationed just outside a major coastal city, and there’s other major bases in places like San Diego, so I wouldn’t rule it out as not being near cities. However, you most likely WILL deploy (she just settled into an apartment and found out she’s deploying in a few months), so that’s a reality of life in the military you would have to be willing to accept.
Actually, it’s a common misconception that the AF is all pilots. Only 3.75% of the AF are pilots. When you expand that to navigators and other roles, it only totals 5%. So there are hundreds of thousands of jobs in the AF that don’t involve flying. https://www.afpc.af.mil/About/Air-Force-Demographics/
Yes- I have zero interest in becoming a pilot but there are other aspects of the Air Force that intrigue me.
This is very helpful! When I was right out of college I was very interested in the Navy, but for whatever reason now I’ve been more interested in thr Air Force. I’m going to re-investigate the Navy!
Former Army officer here married to a career Air Force officer. I’ll talk generically below, but I’m happy to answer any specific questions you might have. I’m 39 and did ROTC in college and served for 6 years – 3 active duty and 3 Guard. One year in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. I was IT (with no particular aptitude for tech stuff beyond programming my grandma’s VCR ha).
Yes, every service does have its own mission. The Army is inherently outdoorsy in a way that, say, the Air Force isn’t. You could do, say, HR in any branch, but you’re more likely to be doing it outdoors in the Army, from an office building in the AF, from a ship in the Navy, and from the back of a landing craft (I jest, but) in the Marines.
It sounds like you’re primarily deciding between the AF and the Navy? Yes, look at the bases. Know that the Navy deploys to sea in peacetime and in wartime, so you’ll spend a huge chunk of your years at sea, but they do have shore duty. Ask a recruiter what that ratio is likely to be. The AF is the most “corporate,” least military-military of the services, and their deployments are different from the other services in that they pluck individuals or a couple people from a unit and send them wherever for a few weeks/couple months at a time. Year-long deployments, like you hear the Army and Marines doing, are less common in the AF.
The Navy has a really rich history and so many military traditions, so if you get excited about the pomp and circumstance, that’s a point in their favor. The AF is the youngest branch and, while it does have its own traditions, they’re not as pronounced as other services.
The Air Force does, yes, have the nicest housing, but don’t choose a service based on that. Generally speaking, officers only live in base housing if a) they’re in command and have an assigned command house or b) they have young children and appreciate all the resources available on base and the quality of the house compared to what’s available off-base (particularly common for rural Army bases where there might not be much around). Broadly speaking, don’t let rumors of housing quality decide which branch you serve in.
I would go active duty. You’ve undoubtedly heard that the Guard/Reserves is “one weekend a month, two weeks a year.” Except if you’re an officer, it’s not. Each G/R unit has a few full-time staffers, but there’s a lot that goes into running a unit that can’t be done by those couple staffers…which means you’re working your regular job AND handling G/R issues in the evening (Joe got a DUI; need to develop an exercise for this weekend) AND going to drill on the weekend. Depending on the unit and the training needs, drill can begin on Friday night at 6 pm (instead of Saturday at 8 am) and run through Sunday at 5 pm, which means you just don’t get a breather. I found myself resenting having to handle a part-time job on top of my usual life. When you’re a junior officer, for me, the weekend drill pay just didn’t make the hassle and stress worth it. As you climb in rank and the pay increases and you have kids and the healthcare becomes a better financial incentive and you’re getting closer to retirement, your calculus can change. But the Guard has a neat mission in that it’s controlled by each state’s governor and can be used to serve neighbors in times of distress.
Happy to answer any questions.
Btw, this whole thing has assumed you’ll be an officer. If you plan on going enlisted, let me know, because that’s a whole other ball of wax.
I’m former active duty and Guard married to active duty. I have a super long reply in mod. Keep an eye out for it.
My brother did about 10 years of Guard and Reserve (mostly as an officer), and agree that that Guard/Reserve ended up being, in our family’s experience, WAY more time-consuming than the TV ads suggest. It was definitely like a part-time job, not this occasional sort of hobby thing.
Thank you! Lots of great info here! The only reason I was leaning towards the Reserves was fomo from my current life, but that isn’t a good reason to make a life changing decision. I think you’re right that active duty is the move.
I have no specific advice because I am a Canadian but I am a reg force (like active duty) JAG and I absolutely love my career. I did almost a decade in private practice and would never go back. It is a very different existence but what they say is true: there is no life like it!
Thanks! I’m a first responder right now, but am still feeling the itch to do “more” – think I’m in search of that life.
I’m about to take a long car trip with my 72 yo parents. Any recommendations for podcasts that we can all listen to? They are moderate Democrats, but somewhat old fashioned. Something like the first season of Serial would work but I’ve already heard that so . . . No sports, no f bombs, and nothing super sad since we just had a few deaths in the family. Also no This American life! Ira Glass annoys me these days.
I have had good luck with food rated podcasts when choosing something to play with my parents. Sporkful, The Splendid Table, etc.
My mom loved Erma Bombeck books on tape (and I did, too). Generically funny and safe to listed to with parents. Don’t be like me and see if they like Season 3 of The Wire.
I thought I was the only one who could not stand Ira Glass!
I prefer actual NPR shows to actual podcasts, as most podcasts seem to have that same overwrought tone that makes This American Life so annoying. Fresh Air, Science Friday, and Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me are my favorites.
+3 on Ira Glass. GRATING
I hate him and Terri Gross!
I feel like this is some sort of blasphemy. Ira I can take or leave but Terri is an institution!
Terri’s voice and manner are grating, but she knows how to get people to say the most interesting things.
I know, people love her. A former coworker of mine had actually worked with her and said she was really nice in person too. I just can’t stand her voice; I’m sure she is delightful.
99% Invisible
Decoder Ring
Older episodes of Radiolab
The Anthropocene Reviewed
Cautionary Tales
Song Exploder
Criminal
I’m a huge NPR fan – my favorite is Planet Money, but that might be a little too modern for your parents. How I Built This might work, it’s talking about entrepreneurship and is not sports, no f bombs, not super sad. NPR’s Throughline is good but some of the episodes are hard to listen to because of the painful experiences in history (see one recent episode, Operation Nemesis about the Armenian genocide).
The Smithsonian also has quite a few podcasts that might be of interest, I don’t remember the name of the top of my head but I think one of the art museums has one. I’m pretty sure Air & Space has one.
For food-related podcasts, in addition to the Splendid Table, Gastropod is another great one.
Hidden Brain is another good one from NPR.
Co-sign. My 67 year old moderate Democrat Midwestern mother loves Hidden Brain.
I like the NPR TED Hour for my long walks. It take a TED Talk, plays it, then discusses the topic for an hour.
One Smithsonian one I like is Sidedoor – great behind-the-scenes stuff.
If audiobooks are an option, I really enjoyed “Stuff Matters” by Mark Miodownik. It’s about different materials and how they changed the world (e.g. paper, concrete, glass, and chocolate, haha).
They might enjoy Criminal with Phoebe Judge! I love love love her voice – it’s so soothing.
+1 Thankfully the podcast is so interesting that I’m not soothed to sleep by her voice.
Noble Blood is amazing – someone here rec’d it a while back and I’m so glad they did.
This Podcast Will Kill You is also great.
Hahaha, right? I need a Phoebe meditation app stat for when I do want to go to sleep.
+1 to This Podcast Will Kill You
Here to push Criminal & TPWKY. As a starter episode for TPWKY, I’d do Measles. Note they have a lot of very-well-done COVID episdoes (cuz… pandemic) in case you set it on autoplay and want to avoid that topic.
Phoebe Reads a Mystery is just Phoebe Judge readin’ a mystery. It’s great for long drives.
Dolly Parton’s America, if you haven’t heard it already. So good.
Agreed!
What about listening to a book?
Spy Affair! It’s a 6 part series and could provoke some fun conversations.
I like the History Chicks or the Outside Magazine podcast. The latter has a lot of ads though.
“Dirty John” by the L.A. Times
+1 great true crime story
I’d agree with the suggestion for audio books, but for a shorter podcast- Fifteen Minute History. Made by faculty and grad students at UT Austin, it is a deep dive into a narrow topic. I’ve found them fascinating, and I love the guests’ excitement at getting to geek out about their esoteric topics.
Invisibilia
All the Sunday versions of The Daily.
99% Invisible would be perfect! Shorter episodes, all about the interesting hidden elements in our world. Even if the topic for a certain episode seems uninteresting, it usually is!
The second season of Tenfold More Wicked is about the Edinburgh body snatchers. It’s a well made podcast and if they’re interested in history it might be a good option. I enjoyed it.
+1 – that one was so good!
I am totally engrossed in Chameleon: Hollywood Con Queen right now.
Stuff You Missed In History Class! They have an extensive backlog and a variety of topics, from the history of margarine to more serious stuff like civil rights.
I love How I Built This with Guy Raz. It’s interviews with entrepreneurs and there is such a huge selection that I typically only listen to the ones where I know the product (the one that got me hooked was the interview with Drybar founder Ali Webb). There is typically no foul language but he will put a warning at the start of an episode if there is a word that kids shouldn’t hear, or if there is any kind of heads up for sensitive content.
I found Guy Raz SO grating! But I beat him sometimes if the guest is interesting to me. Love Terry Gross though soYMMV.
I can’t stand him either! In general, I can’t stand the NPR hosts who try to sound overly gentle or friendly, who make an inordinately big deal over little things, or who inject too much of their personal experience or fanboyishness into the interview. Sam Sanders and Ira Glass are especially guilty of this, Jesse Thorn also to some degree.
That’s a problem I have with podcasts in general. I dislike when the hosts get all faux-chummy and dramatic instead of just telling the cool story.
This is why I don’t listen to podcasts. I am glad it’s not just me!
God I HATE podcast voice so much! It really bothers me that NPR made Rachel Martin a host of Morning Edition. I do not want my news delivered to me in a dramatic, faux-concerned podcast voice.
I love Judge John Hodgman. It’s family friendly but not aimed at kids at all, so it’s perfect for mixed company like you describe. Basically, the fake internet judge and his bailiff hear disputes from listeners (generally the fluffiest of fluff problems) and in the process, get to the crux of the matter and the relationship between the litigants, which is often more interesting, insightful, and touching than what the dispute seems on the surface. It’s also hilarious. What I also like about it is it tends to spark conversation, but doesn’t have to – you could talk about whether you agree or disagree, etc, or you can just enjoy.
I have been listening to Taste Buds. It’s two comedians who passionately debate whether one food or another is better. They bleep out any swears. I find it hilarious.
Hillary Clinton’s podcast?
Atlas Obscura podcasts are fascinating and eclectic.
Spectacular Failure is fun and the episodes are all self-contained so you could pick and choose which ones sound interesting. They might be more familiar with some of the companies or stories than you are–like the Love Canal, PanAm, Lincoln Savings and some are more modern, like Blue Apron and MoviePass. So there’s a good mix of contemporary stories and older ones, all with good story-telling and not overly long.
Also, maybe, some Ezra Klein interviews. Definitely not all of them, but he’s had some really great conversations over the years and he’s not ultra-left so he has a point of view that they can probably sympathize with most of the time. He’s very thoughtful and interviews plenty of people whose fields have nothing to do with politics or news (fiction authors, quantum physicists, chefs, Moby, etc) . He recently switched from Vox to the NY Times so the older shows are now under a new show name–“Vox Conversations.” Some of my favorite episodes (staying mostly away from super political and/or super timely topics) include: Under Vox Conversations: 333. Ta-Nehisi Coates, 321. Madeline Miller, 283. Saul Griffith, 225. Richie Davidson, 219. Joanne Freeman, 216. Emily Oster, 74. Bryan Stevenson, 20. Moby
And in the new show (“The Ezra Klein Show”) from the NY Times: March 16 Mark Bittman,
You must remember this is SO good. It’s the only podcast about old movies that never makes me feel like I’m dumb for not knowing a lot about old movies.
Plugging at least one from Canada:
If it’s not too late “Under the Influence” a CBC radio show/podcast about advertising is FASCINATING! I think all parents would love it.
There are lots of interesting CBC podcasts out there btw – and BBC for that matter if you are into that.
I just put myself on the waiting list for the Cuyana structured leather tote. Does anyone know how long it usually takes for an item to become available from their waiting list?
You mean to have them email you when it’s back in stock? I signed up for the waiting list for a certain color of the camera bag forever ago, haven’t ever heard of anything and I think now all the colors are sold out.
Ugh I wanted the Cuyana hexagon bag, told myself I would wait until I got my bonus. I got my bonus, but now its sold out. I’m on the waiting list too. I’ve been looking for a similar bag in other places, but haven’t found a great match.
Oh yikes, thanks for the replies! I guess I will look for other options!
Would love any and all suggestions for a graduation gift for my sister, early 30s, who just graduated from a top JD-MBA program and is moving to New York to start in Big-ish Law later this summer. She already has or would be very picky about what I imagine are standard gifts for this type of event (a nice bag, various electronic accessories, jewelry). Given she was five years into a career in banking before going to school she has all the clothes, shoes and home items she needs. Budget is up to $300ish. She loves food and wine and frequently goes out on long walks (this sounds like a dating app bio, sorry!). We are just immensely proud of her!
Thanks for any recs!
Ridiculously expensive bottle of champagne.
Yes, this with a basket of gourmet foods, cheeses, chocolates, etc.
New, top-of-the-line Kindle?
Gift certificate to a great restaurant in NYC? I have never met anyone who doesn’t love Maison Pickle on the UWS.
If she hasn’t taken the bar yet, get her a gift certificate for a massage–she’ll need it at some point during bar prep when her body is breaking down from hunching over books/lectures. Bar prep is awful.
Alternately, give her cash to fund her bar trip.
These are great ideas! + Restaurant gift card or massage.
Champagne + spa gift card!
If her firm doesn’t pay for it, monitor(s) for home and a webcam. Mine gives us a set for the office and you have to self fund your wfh set up :(
For those of you who are very outdoorsy, what are the recommendations for the order in which to put on sunscreen and repellent?
CDC recommends suncscreen first, then repellent – but what if repellent is an 8 hour product and sunscreen needs reapplied after 2-3 hours?
FWIW, I’m using chemical or mineral sunscreens, and Picaridin (not DEET). With DEET, I read that putting sunscreen over it can increase absorption of DEET, which should be avoided.
You really don’t have much choice about reapplying sunscreen over the bug repellent, unless you want to wash off the bug repellent and reapply it too. If you’re that worried about putting sunscreen over bug repellent, you could wear long sleeves and long pants and treat your clothes with permethrin.
The CDC is correct
I am not “very outdoorsy” but FWIW I just wear lightweight long sleeves and long pants, a hat that shades my face/neck, and then repellent on wrists, ankles, and neck.
Sunscreen first then fly repellent. If camping, will often wipe down my arms/face/neck with a warm washcloth before reapplying. Doesn’t remove everything but feels much fresher when reapplying sunscreen and repellent. Try to use cover strategies (lightweight long sleeves/pants) as much as possible to reduce need for sunscreen/repellent.
Get the DEET. The new bug repellents don’t work as well or for as long and if you’re somewhere buggy (I live in North Florida and those yellow flies don’t play), they lap up the fancy repellents like they’re bug brunch mimosas.
There is no such thing as an 8 hour repellent. Just reapply when you put more sunscreen on.
In my experience, the best repellents are the cheap DEET ones from Wal Mart (in the sporting goods section, not health and beauty). They’re greasy and disgusting but they work.
Have arms and legs covered as a part of the insect repellent regimen anyway, and use a powder chemical sunscreen to reapply to hands and face over the Picaridin for reapplication. Color science has good tinted spf powders.
Has anyone ordered a new appliance completely online, meaning not through a Lowes-type store? For example, from ABT or Goedekers?
Research is telling me that stores are now just ordering online on your behalf and jacking up the price. I’m wondering what the experience is when you cut out the middleman. Was it a hassle? Did they take the old appliance? Did they held you get the new one into position, or just dump and run? Etc.
Edit: “help” not “held”.
Not sure if it’s what you mean but I always order online through our local mom and pop appliance store. I email them the product number for what I want and ask them to price match whatever the best price I find online is. They check if their supplier has it in stock and order it for me. Their margins are probably pretty small on the sales to me but it’s minimal work for them and takes like two-three emails from me max. They will take away the old appliance at no cost if the new appliance costs over a certain amount or you can pay a small fee for removal.
+1 to the mom and pop appliance store. I love the people at mine and they always beat home cheapo prices. Bonus, they know what they’re talking about.
This has changed where I plan to buy our new dishwasher. Thank you!
It’s awesome that you had a good experience. I am actively looking to avoid my local mom-and-pop shop, which had two different boomer sales guys both hit me with some ragingly s3xist BS when I tried to shop there. The phrase “little lady” was uttered, and it only went downhill from there.
Yikes! No my local shop is cool and since it’s a family, mom and pop are both literally there on the floor helping customers.
I just directly emailed the only female salesperson listed on their website. I’ve never actually been to the store or met any of the salespeople in person. Fits nicely with my geriatric millennial disclination towards talking to people on the phone or buying stuff IRL.
And they typically have awesome service if something breaks!
Just did this for a new stove. Ordered from Build.com. It worked great, they delivered it, and took the old stove. It worked exactly like ordering from the big box stores.
Build is actually the same store as Ferguson, which is a national chain.
I know that, but we do not have any Ferguson brick and mortar stores in my state so I don’t think it’s comparable to the big box stores in the same way.
I really like Build.com. Pre-pandemic they catered to contractors but they’ve pivoted a bit to B2C. They managed delivery of 3 sinks to us no problem. Have not bought an appliance but will now think about getting dishwasher from them…
All retailers are middlemen.
I got a new washer and dryer from ABT, but it is not completely online since they have retail locations. Very easy to deal with, took away my old machines and installed my new ones. Their prices were competitive with what I saw online from other outlets.
Didn’t realize this, thanks!
Yes, Abt *IS* my local mom-and-pop store! My parents have been customers of theirs since the ’70s. Their customer service is exceptional and I have found them to be great even during the pandemic! I used their chat feature and then someone specific from the department called me and he was very knowledgeable and low-pressure. We then went in during special early open hours (this was to check out a mattress so we really wanted to go in). I have lived in other parts of the country and they shipped items out no problem as well. We have purchased SO many items from them over the decades, ha, from mattresses to refrigerators, stoves and ovens to laptops, and camcorders back in the day!
Just bought a fridge off Wayfair, wanted a vintage one that the normal big box stores don’t sell. They just delivered to the kitchen and I have to deal with disposal and install.
Late to this but yes, I just ordered from both of those places (Abt and Goedekers — as well as from a local mom and pop place) to nab appliances for a recent kitchen, bath, and laundry room reno. Depending on how fast you need stuff, that may determine where you can order from. For example, Abt said my stove of choice was going to take 6+ months but I was able to get it in one week from the mom and pop. But the M&P had a two-month wait on the fridge I wanted, which was in stock at Goedekers. My feeling is that if you know what you want, it doesn’t matter where you order from as long as the place is reputable. Also, I found the Abt salespeople super knowledgeable when I called to talk to them.
I ordered from Home depot, and I would not recommend it. I would do the mom and pop because they probably actually care about your experience and want future business. We had problems with the delivery and install and Home Depot couldn’t care less.
We order all of our appliances online from Costco or ABT. Excellent experiences with both.
First choice is Costco because their extended warrantees can’t be beat.
But sometimes first choice is ABT because they are a wonderful family owned company, customer service is excellent, and their installations are great. We live in Illinois. We pay for them to do installation and to take away the prior appliance.
I’m looking for a somewhat specific cat toy and wondering if anyone has recs. I want to buy my kitty a long cat tunnel, but I want something that looks like a permanent-ish piece of furniture. Not a nylon collapsible version or a completely plush one, which I feel like look messy to have out all the time. We have a long space under some shelves that would be perfect for something like this.
I think part of the fun of cat tunnels is the crinkliness that you get from nylon etc — not sure if the tunnel would be as intriguing to the cat without that additional stimulation? But you can get them in more neutral colors: https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/939579398/collapsible-cat-tunnel-cat-toys-play?ref=pla_similar_listing_bot-3&pro=1
Trixie cat tunnel. It has plush sides with scratchers built into it.
I am in an underwear funk. I think I gained more weight in my hips than I realized – A line dresses are leaving me room so clothes fit and I just figured out it’s the undergarments that don’t. I plan to be more active this summer but admittedly don’t know how long it may take to shift muscle or weight. How many pairs should I buy? Also what happened to inexpensive underwear…even multi packs at Walmart are $15! (Sigh)
I bought these based on a rec here over a year ago and have been very happy with how they held up. $14 for 4. If pairing with A-line no worries about VPL.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01JM77RWK/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1&psc=1
This way my rec and I still love these :) Happy to spread the gospel of normal comfy panties! haha
10 pairs, and if you can fit in the Aerie sizes, get them when they are 3 for $10. Cotton is the best :)
If you do laundry weekly, you need 7 pairs for day, 7 pairs for night, 1 pair per weekly workout, and at least 3-5 extra pairs. I have 25 pairs and that’s just about right.
If I don’t work out I use one pair per day so… obviously YMMV.
Why different pairs for day and night?
Don’t you sweat?
When I exercise. However, the above person specified day, night, and exercise, which is up to three times a day.
I must be really disgusting, then. I sweat at night and during the day, not just when exercising. I can’t rewear any clothing that touches my skin.
I am truly pleased to discover this huge difference of opinion in something that I thought everyone did. Not to often you find these things genuinely! I am a fresh-pair-at-night person too. A little shocked to be so roundly in the minority! Am I the only one who wears a thong during the day and switches at night?
You change your underwear before going to bed? I use one pair a day – put on clean ones after I shower in the morning and wear them through my workout the next day. Then I take a shower and start the glorious cycle all over again.
Not that poster, but I do as well. I shower at night, put on clean underwear or a clean pair of boxer-style shorts, and then put on clean underwear again in the morning before I leave for work. That underwear stays on through a workout/to the next shower.
Yeah I am not familiar with changing underwear at night, but then again I don’t wear underwear to sleep in. Let the kitty breathe!!
Yep, I do. I’m a nighttime showerer and tend to wear boxer brief style to bed, and change in the AM. Different strokes, but I just like fresh undies and socks, and do the same with my kid.
Like Anon at 10:32, I go commando at night, so only use one pair a day + one additional pair on the days I work out. I had a lot of problems with recurrent yeast infections until I started sleeping sans underwear on the advice of a gynecologist.
You wear underwear to bed??
Or to work out?
I’m not sure why the thought of wearing underwear to bed receives such shock?
Heck yes. Otherwise you change sheets daily, or have bare cr0tch on sheets multiple days in a row? Yuck! Even with showering, there’s still… emissions from that area.
+1…
I think that’s a bit germaphobic there, and google dust mites if you think your environment is so hygienic.
But no, I wear loose pj pants with no undies to bed. I was plagued by yeast infections before I started doing this, and it has now been literally decades since I’ve had one. Again, let the kitty breathe!
dust mites =/= rolling around in your own discharge
Anon @ 10:59, have you not heard of pajama pants??
I wear underwear under my PJs because PJ pants have seams.
You absolutely don’t need to change your underwear that much and your underwear schedule is making me laugh.
15 for a multipack is cheap.
Huh? How much exactly do you think underwear should cost? $15 for multiple pairs is a steal.
I am pretty picky about my underwear and also cheap. I can usually find what I want at Marshalls or TJMaxx for ~$8/3pack. My most recent finds were labeled “Vince Camuto,” seriously doubt they’re actually VC but they’re nice.
I swear by Warner’s Blissful Benefits at Walmart in cotton.
I also do the Aerie bulk discount once in a while, and I can get cuter colors and some styles are comfortable, but the Warner’s are no-show for me and are just very consistent/reliable. They’re the ones I pack when I’m traveling and don’t want to think about which underwear will work with which pants/dress/skirt. My hips are substantial.
And apparently I’m talking about the No Muffin Top (could we not name things this way!) Stretch Lace Hipster cut (had to check).
Here you go, no excuse not to get the vaccine now to those I’ve seen on this thread who are waiting because they got pregnant during a pandemic: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/13/health/vaccine-pregnancy.html
Go get your dang shot.
Shaming people is always an effective mode of modifying people’s behavior, as we have seen throughout the pandemic.
Oh wait. Never mind.
This is a propaganda piece and not a realistic analysis of the risks to a pregnant person or a baby. What about the VAERS miscarriages etc?
Cool. Have fun with your covid. Some people will use any excuse…
Breeders. So selfish. Anti-vaxxers. Extra selfish.
Seattle/Tacoma recommendations? My fiancé and I will be there for a few days leading up to a wedding in June. He’s never been, I’ve only been for a long weekend previously – did Pike’s Place, the locks, stayed with a friend in Capitol Hill. Would love recs for places to stay for two nights and favorite things to do and see!
Fun! Where is the wedding? Will you have a rental car?
Wedding is actually in Enumclaw – we already have a hotel close to the wedding, so just looking to have fun before!
We’re debating about a rental car – if we need one, we’ll get one, but if we’re staying central for this leg of the trip may forego it.
Got it! Then the suggestions folks are making are really good. I would book in Capitol Hill or Uptown and I’d do it ASAP as Amazon is starting to go back to the office, meaning a whole year of deferred-move hires will be flooding into all temporary housing as they re-settle. Alternatively, it may be cheaper to get a hotel or airbnb near the zoo and take the 5 or 26 buses to get downtown.
1) Chihuly Garden & Glass. If you haven’t been, you need to go!
2) Stateside for food
3) Gasworks Park
4) Seattle Japanese Garden
5) UW campus
6) Storyville for coffee (was recommended here by another ‘rette!)
Adding on a few more because I had to go look up my trip from 2019:
7) Oddfellows Cafe, also recommended by another poster here
8) Starbucks Reserve Roastery – waaayy better than the one in Pike Place
9) Ooink (ramen). they make their noodles in house, or at least they did when I was there
10) Rachel’s Ginger Beer in Pike Place
11) Pasta Casalinga for lunch in Pike Place (looks like the famous Il Corvo closed last year)
12) Salare (I’m plugging this because my cousin used to work there, is on the pricier side)
and lastly, if you don’t get a lot of recs on the morning post, try re-posting on the afternoon one just in case our West Coast friends don’t see this. I’ve gotten a lot of awesome travel recs from other posters here for nearly everywhere, and pretty much created my entire 2019 Seattle trip from suggestions by posters here.
Will do! Thanks :)
+1 to Chihuly being my #1 rec in Seattle!!
Storyville is connected to a homophobic, misogynistic mega church, in case that information changes your mind.
I did not know that, thank you for bringing it up and I will not recommend it in the future. To Mal, in that case, take off Storyville and just go to Starbucks Reserve Roastery instead.
Oddfellows Cafe! I’d get in a plane to go there. In Capitol Hill. Also Sitka & Spruce (presuming both made it through the pandemic)
Discovery Park. I also enjoyed the touristy stuff like the Space Needle and the monorail.
This is admittedly the dorkiest thing you can possibly ever do, so YMMV, but I’ve done a Segway tour in that area and it was super fun!
I like taking people to Alki Beach and Marination Ma Kai in West Seattle. If you’ll be down in Tacoma, I enjoy eating on the deck at Lobster Shop. I’m also a fan of sitting on the deck at Ivar’s Salmon House on the north side of Lake Union and watching the boats go by.
Where is the wedding? Do you want to hike? Will you have a car?
+1 to the hiking question — Rachel Lake is on the way to Enumclaw and is awesome, and if you’re less ambitious there are other good alpine lake hikes in the vicinity.
Oh, though check trip reports on WTA. If the wedding is early June, lots of alpine trailheads will still be snowed in.
Still debating rental car – will get one if needed. Wedding is in Enumclaw, and we’ll be there mid June.
Pro tip: take the water taxi from downtown Seattke to West Seattle. It lands right at Marination Ma Kai and you can walk on the Alki trail to Alki Beach. The West Seattle bridge is closed and the detour is long and traffic hell.
Truth.
Somebody posted yesterday that they use a stick-on phone wallet that holds 4 cards and a $20. Can you post a link?
Not that person and been too long, but I use one by Kate Spade that’s exactly that, probably from their website
Not me, but I got mine as swag from my company. It’s like a little piece of rubber.
I saw this kind of thing in Walmart yesterday. In the aisle with handbags and other accessoires
I’ve seen them everywhere in places like CVS. Mine is a popsocket wallet. I have to pop it off to use a wireless charger but otherwise love it.
Probably overthinking this, but I’m hoping to use my employee-sponsored HSA for the first time and my HR is worthless in terms of guidance. I paid the medical provider with a credit card, but the HSA will only reimburse to my checking account. I have the EOB from my insurance agency, the statement from the medical provider, and a charge on my credit card for the medical provider–am I good if I get audited? Or should I hold off on using the HSA for the charge I’ve already paid, and just use it moving forward by submitting a payment directly from the HSA or from my checking account?
Yeah, that’s how they work. You submit your supporting documentation to the HSA (or FSA) and then they reimburse you.
Just like how if you incur business expenses on your own credit card, your employer pays you back via check (payroll).
Thanks!
This is how it works, but it’s simpler if you pay the provider using the HSA debit card.
Yeah, I may do that moving forward.
Definitely get the HSA debit card; it makes life way easier. No reimbursement and you can pay online, over the phone, or in person with it. I usually use my for doctor’s visits and prescriptions.
Downside is that I don’t get points…if I have to suffer through this accursed running injury, I might as well get a flight out of it.
Yes, you’re good if you get audited. You have proof of the medical services and your cost. Just make sure to keep this documentation somewhere for whatever number of years you could potentially be audited.
Perfect, thanks.
For mine, I only had to submit the EOB showing my out of pocket amount. I never had to show proof I paid it.
Thanks! That I can definitely provide.
I wanted to post an article from today’s Washington Post to help boost awareness of the millions of vaccinated Americans who can’t mount a full vaccine response: “Transplant patients, some others with immune issues, stuck in limbo as country reopens.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2021/05/18/immunocompromised-coronavirus-vaccines-response/
Many of us in this group feel increasingly isolated and alone.
Agreed – I am not a member of this group, but work in a clinic that sees mostly patients who do. They find themselves frustrated that people don’t seem to understand their circumstances.
Yeah, it’s really frustrating. A typical conversation:
“But you’ve been vaccinated so you can do ___!”
“Actually, like I mentioned, we’re not sure if the vaccine works for me so I’m not going to be able to do that.”
“But the vaccine is so effective!”
“Not for everyone. Many of us still need to play it safe.”
“Well, with the vaccine, shouldn’t that at least help?”
I honestly can’t even express how exhausting it is, especially when it’s the same conversation over and over again.
I am still wearing my mask for you.
Better to get vaccinated – that’s going to help this group a lot more than mask theater.
Of course I am already vaccinated.
Masks are not theater.
But they are for vaccinated people. Vaccinated people are incredibly unlikely to spread the virus.
They are when the person wearing it can’t transmit the virus.
Thank you! It helps so much when strangers (whose vaccination status I don’t know) wear a mask in indoor spaces we have to share, like the grocery store. That’s all we ask. I and the other immunocompromised people I know are more than happy for all of you to enjoy unmasked interactions with your vaccinated friends and family – that’s so great and we want that too. We just want masking in shared spaces until we are closer to some real herd immunity to avoid the pitfalls of the “honor system.”
There’s no way for you to know I’m vaccinated when we’re at the grocery store together, so I will stay masked for you and all the children under 12 who can’t be vaccinated yet, who deserve to be able to go to the grocery store and otherwise participate in community life without risking Covid.
Continuing to wear a mask at the grocery store and similar places is trivially easy for me, given the potential benefit to others.
Thank you so much. It means a lot.
totally agree, I am vaccinated and low risk, I am so happy to get together with friends again and be more flexible with indoor/outdoor and hugging. I am so happy to run outdoors without a mask. Hopefully I will be able to travel and see my family again sometime this year. I don’t think it is a hardship at all to continue wearing masks in stores.
At some point the pandemic will be “over” or over enough, and normal unmasked life will resume. At this point we are just debating when, not if.
As recently as last weekend, epidemiologists were on the news saying herd immunity is not an achievable goal so we will have to settle for something less.
People who can’t mount an immune response to any vaccine will always have to deal with this, just as they deal with influenza and other illnesses for which people aren’t fully vaccinated – like pertussis and measles, recently thanks to anti vaxxers. I’m not unsympathetic, and I have my own issues (rheumatoid arthritis) but it’s just reality.
“When” is not yet. Not by a long shot.
Scientists disagree with you.
An unmasked vaccinated person like myself is no danger to OP and others with immune deficiencies.
The anti vaxxers are already unmasked.
You’re not “no danger.” You’re “low danger.” There’s a difference.
I guess the question is: between pro-maskers and anti-maskers, is there a large less polarized group who isn’t too worried about personal risk, and hasn’t made an effort to get vaccinated, finds masks cumbersome, but is also not interested in causing a fuss and therefore will continue wearing them if it’s the norm locally? Regarding those people, it seems logical that vaccinated-me continuing to mask, would make a difference.
Like with politics, I suspect there is a huge middle group who doesn’t care too strongly one way or the other.
Honestly, no danger. That’s the update to the study. The original study looked at whether people who were vaccinated developed severe covid. They didn’t study transmission to others. Now they have done that in several settings, and fully vaccinated people have a much smaller than 1% chance of transmitting the virus in all settings. When vaccinated people do, rarely, transmit the virus, their viral load is so small that they don’t transmit severe covid. (As we already knew, severity of illness is correlated with the viral load at initial exposire)
This is the research update that led to the revised CDC guidance on masking for vaccinated people.
An immunocompromised person is not at risk from a vaccinated person.
Right. I think those folks who were counting on 70% of people getting vaccinated and the U.S. reaching herd immunity via that mechanism need to start the process of adjusting their expectations. I was hopeful for that too. I don’t believe at this point it is going to happen. I believe we may be able to get closer to 70% than we are now, but going over 70% is a near impossibility at this juncture. This is going to be like the flu, unfortunately; people are going to have to learn to live with and around it. I am vaccinated, will get boosters, and am still masking in public places but do not feel that putting myself through the experience of feeling helpless, angry, frustrated and enraged at the actions of other people is a good use of my time and emotional energy. We can hand-wring all we want about the selfish stupidity of others; it’s not going to change anything. Best to just figure out next steps for ourselves and for those who will listen to science and move forward. You cannot change other people, you can only change how you yourself react to their actions.
P.S., if anyone thinks a substantial percentage of the population will continue to mask when it’s no longer required, because a small percentage of the population is immunocompromised, I would recommend starting the process of adjusting your expectations about that also.
To your PS, this is why masking should still be required.
+1. Trust me, immunocompromised people understand that people won’t do the right thing unless they’re required to. Oh boy, do we understand.
What do you expect to actually happen? It’s not realistic to think that everyone will wear a mask and social until everyone is fully protected by a vaccine. It is highly unlikely that this is even possible. I’m sorry that you feel isolated and left out, but what is it you are asking people to do? Like it or not, the health and welfare of people globally depends on others being out working, socializing, producing, and spending.
To wear a mask while they work, socialize, produce, and spend (when around others) until we are higher than <40% vaccinated. I don't think it's too much to ask. I really don't.
This. We’re never going to hit herd immunity, but we can do much better than we currently are. Continued masking for a while longer would help us drive infection rates way down. Masking is an incredibly low-cost intervention, in terms of money and inconvenience.
Exactly – it’s very low-cost. It’s like this tiny little “sacrifice” that will help save lives. I don’t really get the opposition or the strawman arguments we sometimes see – “what, are you saying that EVERYONE has to stay home FOREVER???”
completely agreed. there should’ve been some kind of metric. honestly, at the beginning of this whole pandemic there should’ve been some suggestions from the CDC about what states might do if the positivity rate, or case numbers are above a certain percentage. honestly, personally i think masks should’ve been required indoors until either 70% of adults are vaccinated, or there is a vaccine available for everyone, including children. this would mean in places like supermarkets, stores, hair salons, etc. but people could still socialize in ways that are comfortable to them
But it doesn’t help save lives if you’re already vaccinated??? Because you’re not spreading covid if you’re vaccinated. And if you’re going to argue that there’s still a miniscule chance, well it’s not like masks have ever been 100% effective anyway. I did my part and got vaccinated, well before most of you, so I’m going to take the “reward” of not wearing a mask.
1:17, unvaccinated people need to wear masks in public. The only hope of getting them to wear masks is to require, or create social pressure for, everyone to wear masks.
Anon at 1:32:
“unvaccinated people need to wear masks in public. The only hope of getting them to wear masks is to require, or create social pressure for, everyone to wear masks”
Because that tactic has worked so well in making people do what we needed them to do so far? Social pressure didn’t work to make people mask up before the vaccine was released, when the pandemic is raging. Explain your logic for thinking it’s somehow going to work on people now.
There were a lot more people wearing masks in my red state last week than there are this week.
Not a person with an immune issue (that I know of), but as someone with some scientific training in this field, what everyone should be doing is getting vaccinated and convincing other people to do so- even if they don’t think they’re at risk personally, there are some people who can be convinced that that others need their help (I know others just don’t care, which is sad). We might not meet the mythical herd immunity threshold, but every person that gets vaccinated makes it harder for the disease to spread and protects those who are still vulnerable. It also makes sense to continue mask mandates in areas that are hard for vulnerable people to avoid, like medical facilities, public transit, and I would add other businesses like grocery stores, government buildings, etc. for at least a little while longer. Once the number of vaccinated people has increased, those could be reconsidered. At that point, the amount of virus will be pretty low in most places and wearing a good mask will hopefully be sufficient protection to resume a mostly normal life.
Looking for recommendations for books on investing/building wealth. We have a financial advisor, but we have reached a point where we can start having a little fun with investments, and I’d like to learn more. For reference, HHI is around $250,000. Just shy of 39 years old, hoping to retire in my 50s. Not sure if that all is relevant. Let me know if you need more information. Thanks!
What do you mean by fun? In my experience, “fun” and “adequately prepared for retirement” are polar opposites :)
Lol and why does this need mod?
the word that ends in s-te, I think.
Thanks, Cat :)
Fair question. I mean something beyond a mutual fund in my 401k :)
If you’re serious about retiring in your 50s, and you’re maxing out every retirement option available to you (401(k), Roth IRA, backdoor giving to a Roth if your income is over the limit for ‘front door’ contributions, HSA, etc) then OK, do you want to day trade? Do you want to just buy index funds that aren’t tied to a retirement vehicle? Do you want to get involved with private lending and make personal loans to individuals, or do group buys of real estate? Are you looking for REITs?
I think most books on the topic get dated so quickly. However googling by or recommended by Warren Buffet may be a good place to start. Also look for things from the Motley Fool. Investing how to is also pretty well covered by bloggers in the personal finance world.
https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_started is the place for you! The forum is amazing, but may feel like jumping in to the deep end of the pool…so start with the Wiki
What would you give for a graduation gift for someone who graduated dental school and is about to start practicing? It’s an extended male family member I do not know well. So maybe under $200ish. They do not drink. Appreciate the suggestions!
I wouldn’t bother, especially if you don’t know the family member well. Nobody gave me a graduation gift when I finished law school, except my mother who made me a photo book.
This. Skip it.
+1. There is absolutely no need to give a gift in this scenario. My parents were also the only people who got me a law school graduation gift.
Fancy business cards and/or GC to get some made? They aren’t terribly expensive but the thought/gesture would be appreciated (at least, I would if it were me because I’d probably forget that I needed them).
Do people still use business cards? It seems like my industry almost completely abandoned them a few years ago.
Dentists definitely still use them, but it seems like something he’d order through his practice.
Card. Why would you spend $200 on someone you barely know?
Yeah if you barely know them I would just do a card. Maybe a generic gift card for $50
Distant relative you don’t know well? This would the time for a nice card but not $$.
Has anyone gone to law school for tax (without a CPA background) and taken a job working for an accounting firm? If so, what do you DO there? I am finding it may be a frequent career path for tax lawyers, but I am struggling to figure out what the jobs there actually entail. How are they different than legal practice in a law firm?
I have not done this, but I work in Big 4 and have for 20+ years as a CPA/master’s degree in tax. Someone on my team has an LLM and the role involves a lot of quality/risk management consultation with the team, contract reviews, etc. I imagine for many the career path involves tax consulting. I will say the undergraduate degree makes a difference. Someone with a bachelor’s in accounting and a law degree is better suited to accounting firm life than someone with a bachelor’s in political science and a law degree. It’s helpful to at least know what debits and credits are.
Is it that hard to understand debits and credits? Sincerely asking, not an accountant, but in tax compliance. I was good in math, but my degree is in classics, so I am good at dead languages. Is it really nuanced or if you can work most excel functions you basically understand things (or: is this a true lease or a financing lease?).
It’s not hard, no, but it’s also not Excel. To put it another way, accounting really has very little to do with math. Accounting is all about classifications.
I have tax lawyer friends who work at EY and Deloitte in transaction advisory services. I do not have much helpful insight into what they do day to day, but their jobs definitely are related to M&A. They are technically not practicing law and there are people who are in transaction advisory who are not lawyers, but they definitely recruit at LLM programs and law schools with strong tax programs. Sorry that is not particularly helpful!
I work in tax at a Big 4, and honestly, the people with LLMs are not doing anything different than the CPAs. They may do more memo writing/research and consulting, but they don’t walk around being known as an LLM. You tend to find them more in a tax transaction and international tax group vs. a compliance group. But, there is no distinguishing of titles, and you will report to a senior/manager/senior manager/partner who is just, if not more, likely to be a CPA as a JD. The pay will not be nearly as good as big law.
Has anyone changed from Premarin to Estradiol? My insurance will no longer cover Premarin and I wonder how this change will go. Thanks!
I have not been on Premarin, but I am on estradiol for IVF. I’ve had minimal symptoms from it.
I use an Estradiol patch and it works well for me, aside from some occasional adhesive residue. No other complaints.
So I know it’s 6-7 months away but from past pre-pandemic history, has anyone (who doesn’t have their own relationship/nuclear family – so you’re single) opted NOT to travel to a family gathering and instead opted to treat themselves to a vacation? This isn’t a case of – it’s not worth it to fly only for 4 days or whatever – it’s more a case of sibling/parent drama that I have nothing to do with yet it ruins my long weekends/holidays time and time again as they bicker or give each other the silent treatment and I’m supposed to be the peacemaker. If you have done a vacation for Thanksgiving or Christmas, where did you go? How was it? Did it feel ok or did you feel like it was all families and you by your lonesome? Flying from DC and I’d want to go someplace warm (mid 60s to low 80s type of temps) and palm trees — that’s all I’ve figured thus far.
Of course all of this is dependent on how this pandemic goes by the end of the year. If it continues like it is now, I’d feel ok on flights and hotels but if we see a ton of new variants and are advised to mask and people in Florida or whatever aren’t masking, then yeah this won’t happen.
I’ve done this once (a trip to Austria with my husband over Thanksgiving) and it was amazing. We weren’t trying to avoid drama, but wanted to go to the Christmas markets and utilize the two days off work well. It ended up being really relaxing to just have the time to ourselves – much more relaxing than making small talk with 20 family members.
A lesson from the pandemic is that life is too short to hang out with people you don’t enjoy for long periods of time. See them for a lunch or a dinner, but do what you want to do on long weekends and holidays.
I was in Hong Kong for one thanksgiving and in New Orleans (with a boyfriend) for another. Both were lovely. If that would make you happier, by all means do it.
I love traveling over Christmas! My favorite was New Orleans.
We travel most years for Thanksgiving and have Loved it. It is a great time to travel internationally because it’s not peak season most places so things aren’t crazy expensive and you have fewer American tourists. The timing of the holiday also means that at least for me, work is really slow the entire week so it is Real vacation, not constantly checking email vacation. I loved Thanksgiving with my family growing up, but logistically it didn’t work to go home when we were first married and now traveling had become our tradition. We’ve been to Mendoza Argentina, Barcelona, Hawaii in the last few years.
Do it. This internet stranger is giving you permission to prioritize yourself and have a good holiday doing something unique and fun! Don’t be forced into a mediation role you don’t want to do over the holiday. Playing along and doing what your family expects won’t help heal any strain on the relationship between you and your family, because most likely you’ll be resentful.
I’ve traveled solo over Christmas twice, eschewing family traditions and plans, and it was worth it both times. If you’re going to head south then look at all inclusive resorts perhaps? They will usually specify how family friendly they are and you can choose based on what you want to avoid or be around during that time. Going to someplace in Mexico might be fun actually. You can contact the resort and ask about their COVID protocols if they don’t readily have the information on their website.
If you are traveling on a holiday, make sure you are in a place where you understand what your options will be for meals on the holiday. If you stay domestic, you are probably fine. Thanksgiving in New Orleans, for example, is amazing. But in other countries, you may find very few options on Christmas and you may be limited to the hotel (which may be fine or great, just something to keep in mind). Also check transportation options, which can be very limited during holidays and off-seasons some places. Whether you are going to feel lonely without your family on a holiday is really personal. I highly recommend it over family drama, but I am an extremely independent person comfortable in her skin when traveling solo with no sentimentality about missing a family gathering that isn’t going to be fun. I’d look into a resort in Latin America for this, personally.
I received the Cuyana crossbody bag you all helped me pick, and it is beautiful, but sadly I’m sending it back. It’s a hair too short to be a cross body bag. The bag part hits at my waist, which is a weird length. On the model it looks lower, but she’s smaller than me (I’m 5’11” and cusp sized.) So the search continues!
It really is a beautiful bag if anyone is searching for a shoulder bag (the double loop bag in olive)
Nesting fail sorry!
We book a holiday with friends and lied to our family that it pre-dated the family reunion. Best decision ever most importantly because it broke the expectation we would always be there. With that said, there is something cathartic/healing/just-plain-emotional this year about the first big “normal” holiday with family and, if the holiday you are thinking of skipping is that, I might suggest reconsidering as seeing the photos of family together without you could interrupt an otherwise lovely vacation.
Yes and it was glorious. Love my family but sometimes you don’t want to deal with the drama and want some alone time.
In law school I did a thanksgiving road trip to visit a friend and other one to a new local city. In undergrad and pre law school I went solo camping for thanksgiving and a couple other holidays (not Christmas because I don’t like camping in snow that much).
Not quite what you asked but one year DH had two weeks off in the Christmas / New Years time and did a week at an all inclusive and then a week listening to jazz in New Orleans. I was on a deal closing dec 31 so I saw my family for Christmas Day and otherwise worked. He had a great time and if the stars align that way again I think we’d repeat it – I go stir crazy at resorts and don’t love live music so he got to do two if his favourite things without me fussing ! He didn’t seem lonely but I think he went to a resort that doesn’t allow kids if that’s a thing.
My tips as someone with a very similar family dynamic are: (a) if you live close to family you need to leave the area and (b) you need to present it as a fact not a question and then not engage. “Yup won’t be coming for Christmas because I’m heading to Cabo. See y’all next year.” And that’s it – who cares if they spend Christmas sniping about you / without you?
Since the peacemaking is a hard habit to break I to tend to not skip multiple holidays in a row.
I have traveled extensively over Thanksgiving (though not alone), as it is usually a very quiet week at work and only involves 3 vacation days for a full week of travel. Pre-kids we almost always took an international trip. It is a great time of year to go to the southern hemisphere. I realize with covid, that likely / maybe won’t be possible this year. Post-kids, we have also been to various US locations during that week. To be honest, there are a lot of families that travel that week, but if you want to go somewhere, I really would not worry about that!
My husband and I (no kids; we live a plane ride away from our families of origin) do this yearly. Thanksgiving is for us. We typically travel outside the country and enjoy time spent with one another uninterrupted by family demands.
We just announced that we were starting to do it years ago, and while I’m sure there was some prickle from our families of origin, that’s fine. They can prickle all they want; that’s on them. We still went and made sure to rave about what a wonderful new tradition it was for both of us. It’s juts accepted now.
We also frequently skip Xmas home.
Our families of origin are in the same hometown and that oddly makes holiday trips home so much more fraught with each side counting the minutes we spend with the other…it’s just so stupid and obligation-driven that we end up hating it. There are other underlying issues with our families that make this the way it is, so it’s not as simple as I’m laying it out here.
This sounds so lovely! We have three sides of families in the same metro area vying for our time every holiday and you just can’t make everybody happy.
Vacation suggestions? Haven’t gone anywhere in nearly 2 years (which is actually about average for me). Usually I DON’T travel in the summer because I dislike heat and find anything over 75-80 degrees unpleasant so I basically sit home in AC. I’m a big fall/winter traveler. This year though it seems this pandemic will be good during the summer and no one knows yet about fall/winter – if we see variant surges, need boosters etc. So I think if I want to go somewhere, maybe it’s better to go this summer than to wait until Dec, not be able to go and then have to wait another 6 months or whatever.
So where do I go that’s reasonably cool in July/Aug? I’m coming from DC. I’d prefer to drive so I’m thinking New England but where exactly? I always here everyone going to Portland Maine but I imagine Portland gets packed, no? I tend to like small cities, cute downtowns where I can walk around with a coffee and stop to grab a baked good or pizza or whatever other local food is good; I’m NOT a hiker/going to the woods person; I like beaches esp if they come with nice scenic walks/drives; nice hotels are a must — I’m not a house rental person. What comes to mind?
Alaska.
+1 Alaska is fabulous and will be practically empty this year because of the lack of cruise ships.
If you’re just worried about a covid surge, I’d wait until early September and head up to New England then. Weather will be a bit cooler and it will be much less crowded. Boston or Portland sound like they’d be about right for you. Burlington VT, some of the White Mountains towns in NH, or Bar Harbor ME could be nice too, but are longer drives and might not be worth it if you’re more of a city person and don’t like woods or hiking.
Newport, RI and Watch Hill, Rhode Island are both very cute cities/towns and have great hotel options. I am not sure what your budget is, but the Ocean House in Watch Hill is beautiful (Weekapaug Inn also is great). We like the Chanler in Newport, but there are lots of other good options too (Castle Hill Inn, Gurney’s).
Rhode Island will be cooler than DC in July/August, but definitely could still be hot.
I’ve been to Portland in August and would not call it packed; certainly not by my NYC standards. It will definitely be high season anywhere in Maine or in beach towns elsewhere in NE. Wherever you go, check to make sure the hotel HAS A/C – it is less standard once you get further north (at least in private homes, maybe it is in hotels), and I was there in a heat wave. I don’t think you can go much south of Portland to find average high temps below 80 in the summer though.
You might also like western Mass, like near Tanglewood or Jacob’s Pillow, if you like the arts. MassMoCA in North Adams is a very cool museum. I’m pretty unfamiliar with lodgings near there but know there are some fancy BnBs.
It sounds like you’d enjoy Cape Cod and Nantucket in very early September.
Last minute trip to Idaho just booked for Memorial Day weekend!
2 nights in Ketchum and 1 night in Boise with 4 full days – first time visiting from CA with just myself and spouse.
Would love any recommendations for great restaurants or hikes – so excited!
God, I love Ketchum. I spent many happy years visiting family there for the whole summer.
I’d hike Pioneer Cabin (more challenging) or Baker Lake (easier), but check on snow conditions for both first. If neither of those look good to you, come back and I’d be happy to provide more specific recs. For food, I love Big Wood Bread for good salads and sandwiches at lunch, KB’s for fish tacos, and Java for coffee (must-do). The Pioneer is the classic for dinner so you should probably do that one night. I’ve never been to the Roundhouse on Baldy, but family members love it. Mask-wearing and COVID precautions will probably be more decent in Ketchum than other parts of Idaho, but be warned it’s not going to be like what we have here in California.
Oh, and also Lefty’s for great burgers after the hike.
Thank you! I researched hikes including Pioneer Cabin – I will come back snd list them to get your input.
We are staying at the Limelight in Ketchum.
We love food and are not picky – particularly love regional food – your suggestions sound perfect
You’re very welcome! I have another rec for Lefty’s in Ketchum stuck in mod, but I forgot to also recommend Fork in Boise for dinner and Goldy’s for breakfast. Goldy’s will get crowded (it’s small) so go early. Have a great trip!!
For hikes – take a look at an app like trailforks. There are so many you can’t go wrong. In Boise the must do classics are Lower Hulls Gulch or Table Rock, or head up to Bogus and do Around the Mountain. In Ketchum if it’s open the hiking trail up to Hyndman is gorgeous. There’s a lot close to town, but I prefer Copper Canyon up Trail Creek Road.
For restaurants – there are a lot of good options and it depends what you want. In Ketchum go to Grumpys for lunch at least, and in Boise, go to 8th St or Hyde Park.
Great these sound awesome thank you
Thanks to the poster who recommended the Banana Republic jumpsuit. It is fantastic, and still on sale.
I normally never bother with trying jumpsuits, as I am very pear shaped (>2 sizes different upper vs. lower body) and figure they would never work. This jumpsuit is amazing. The cut is fantastic and forgiving and very flattering. It could work with a variety of body shapes, and the silhouette is modern. It is my perfect as a more on trend replacement for the summer maxi dress, which I still love.
I got the Navy. Wish there were more colors but for my winter skin tone I don’t think others will work.
Which banana republic jumpsuit? I have a similar shape and like banana republic clothes in general.
It is their main jumpsuit offering.
https://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=674561012&cid=1107488&pcid=1107488&vid=3#pdp-page-content
The flow-y cropped pant length looks almost like a skirt as you walk.
Also intrigued by this…. how tall are you?
Did you buy based on the size defined by your top half or bottom half?
(I’m 5’8″ and a 10/M on top and 14/L on bottom!)
I received the Cuyana crossbody bag you all helped me pick, and it is beautiful, but sadly I’m sending it back. It’s a hair too short to be a cross body bag. The bag part hits at my waist, which is a weird length. On the model it looks lower, but she’s smaller than me (I’m 5’11” and cusp sized.) So the search continues!
It really is a beautiful bag if anyone is searching for a shoulder bag (the double loop bag in olive)
I feel like I can never get this right, but where should the bag part of a cross-body bag hit you?
I like it to rest at the hip. Too high and it’s the “cross-body fanny pack” height, too low and it flops around and bangs your legs when you walk.
Bummer. I guess there is not much additional length to have a cobbler punch a new hole to make it longer? I have to do the reverse of this because I am so short.
Is the quality of the leather good? I am very tempted!
The quality is gorgeous. I already own two of their totes, a wallet, and a couple of makeup bags. They’re all great.
I’m not sure if you saw my reply (it was late in the day) to your original post but I recommended checking out the Clare V Gosee clutch. It’s called a clutch, but the strap is cross-body and I think it’s a great size for what you need.
I will check it out! Thank you.
We are saving for a down payment in a VHCOL area and will soon hit the FDIC insured limit ($250K). I have never had anything close to this much money and am not sure what do to with it. We could open an account at another bank, or put part of it in a money market account to diversify risk (those accounts aren’t insured at all, but at least I already have one). What does the hive mind recommend in this situation?
Do you have a joint account? The limit is per depositor.
How far away are you from buying? What about CDs?