Corporette.com

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 130 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Platinum Jersey Tee

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Talbots Platinum Jersey TeeI'm always a fan of the simple tee beneath blazers, and this jersey tee from Talbots is highly rated, and available in a huge range of sizes (XS-XL in misses, petites, woman, and woman petites) and eight colors. For those of you hunting for the opaque white tee, take note: this one is double-layered in the front. It's machine washable, and I like the boatneck. It's $49.50 (with a very limited sale selection marked as low as $15.99.) Talbots Platinum Jersey Tee Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.16.24

Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

    • lawsuited

      +1 Although I’m not a fan of Talbots’ knitwear, it’s been really nice seeing some plus size options in Kat’s picks lately

  2. Anon for this

    TJ: Does anyone have a narcissistic parent/SO/family member? How do you deal?

    • Anonymous

      Yes, and I avoid this person to the best of my ability. When we have to see each other, I try to keep the conversation light and not talk about anything substantive and just act really nice in general.

      • Red Beagle

        Yup (raises hand). Mom. Same strategy. Avoidance only works for so long before it backfires, though, because then you hear about it at nauseum at the next contact.

    • Ellen

      Yay! Fruegel Friday’s!!!! I love Fruegel Friday’s, but Kat, $49.50 for a tee shirt is not to fruegel, even for me, now that I am a partner! FOOEY!

      As for the OP, we no longer have ANY narcisssisstics in our family, but our relative’s from the old country ALWAYS used to hold it over us that we were NOT any longer liveing there, but here which to them was a step DOWN. But then, we learned to deal with it b/f I was born. Grandma Leyeh gave them an eare-full, and then dad went overseas when he was in the mileatary and afterward’s. When he visited them, he showed them that all the local women were interested in HIM b/c he was an American, and he wound up haveing sex with many women who the local men could NOT even get close to. That is why mom think’s I have alot of half brother’s and half sister’s over in the old country. If Dad did not get that rash year’s ago, mom say’s we could feild a football team with all of his off spring. YAY for that b/c I would have to compete in Football which is FOOEY!

      Speakeing of offspring, Noah asked if he could meet my family. He has ONLEY dated me twice now and he say’s he is a man with a mission. I am not sure what that mean’s, but he has NOT even made any moove’s on me sexueally. That is a good thing b/c I want to make sure he is serius, and not like Alan, who could not WAIT to have sex with me and then turn into the drunk that he became. DOUBEL FOOEY! I have to get rid of the picture’s I have of Alan in my photoalbum b/c Noah want’s to look at it. Part of me want’s to do that, but part of me want’s to keep those picture’s b/c Alan was a part of my life for a while.

      What would the hive do?

    • Anon

      Yes, I posted about it here years ago I believe. More details on your situation might be helpful. In short, the only way to deal with it is almost being ‘at peace’ with how they are, and try not to argue. It won’t work. Keep your emotional distance and take the relationship for what it is. Seek love and understanding from others.

      • OP

        Well, I’m dealing with a Nparent personally. I made a small mistake and they’ve completely flipped out over it. The hard thing for me now is the fact that I’m completely financially dependent on them (they’re paying for my schooling) so there’s an added pressure of keeping the peace or they’ll yank my funding. Right now it’s not possible for me afford school on my own, so it seems like I just have to stay silent, keep my head down and power through it until I can move into a position where I’m financially independent.

        • Anon

          Yes, he/she is probably using schooling and funding it as a way to control you too. At least you have a deadline when this will end! Focusing on school and rocking it will help you get through these issues.

        • Jordan

          Didn’t have a narcissist parent but more of a just general psychotic one and yeah, kept my head down. Became independent financially. We have a great relationship now though because he gets zero control and he can throw a temper tantrum and I don’t have to sit in the house and just deal. It sucks but you will get through it and be stronger for it.

    • Not Just His Daughter

      Yes. The only thing that worked for me is total severing of any ties. And then I try hard not to feel like a bad daughter as he ages and does not have me to rely on. I read a book a few years ago that helped a lot. I believe it was Nina Brown’s “Children of the Self-Absorbed.”

    • Senior Attorney

      Yes. I was married to him. I knocked myself out for 15 years trying to please him, trying to reason with him, trying to set limits on his behavior, trying not to let it get to me, trying to be happy in the marriage despite his horrible behavior. I finally left and I am happier than I ever thought I could be while I was in it. My only regret is that it took me so long.

      In your case, I agree with the advice to keep your head down and get yourself independent as soon as humanly possible.

      Oh, and if you can get some therapy for yourself in the meantime, that would be helpful. Living with a narcissist can make you feel like the crazy one, and therapy can help you keep a grip on your sanity.

    • Sadly, Yup

      My dad is like this. I wish I could say I had dealing with him figured out, but sadly, it’s a really complicated relationship. I try to keep my distance and just keep things light and surface-level when I do see/talk to him, but he’s never really good about dealing with that.

      My fiance and I saw him a few months ago for the first time since getting engaged, and it was all about him – how he felt about about the fact that my FI didn’t ask his permission (even though I told him not to), how he doesn’t know my FI well enough for us to get married, etc. So frustrating and sad. I haven’t spoken to him since, and he just left me a voicemail yesterday. I’m dreading listening to it and calling him back, because I know it will be a guilt trip about how we haven’t spoken. I don’t even want to think about how he’ll behave at the wedding.

      To top it off, my dad was extremely financially supportive of me while I was growing up and in school (paid for all of my undergrad, bought me new cars, etc.), so thanks to him, I’m in a great place financially as an adult. Though I haven’t taken a cent from him in years, I do feel guilty about distancing myself from him because of all of the money he spent on me.

      Sorry – can you tell I really needed to get this off of my chest?

    • Wildkitten

      Yup. Parent. I severed all ties as well. It’s one of the best choices I’ve made in my adult life.

    • Burgher

      My grandmother is in her own little narcissistic bubble world. I try to constantly remind myself that that’s just how she is and she will never change. I keep our relationship very surface level, which is not a problem because she’s incapable of having a normal loving relationship with anyone anyway. That said, it’s still very difficult on the family and does hurt sometimes. You can rationalize it all you want, but at some level it is damaging.

    • Lobbyist

      There’s a great book: Will I ever be good enough? Healing for the daughters of narcissistic mothers.

  3. Lo & Sons!

    Sorry for immediate TJ. Handles on my Minkoff MAB tore out this morning and I’m in need of assistance. I’ve researched this in the archives, but couldn’t come to a conclusive answer.

    Lo & Sons: OM or OMG?

    Needs to hold:
    – 14″ laptop and files (not legal files/in law; just spiral notebook, manila folder or two, etc.)
    – pack a lunch, water every day
    – shoes
    – occasionally pack after work outfit, gym clothes, etc.
    – occasional work travel

    Would the OMG be enough for all of this? I’d rather have a larger bag that is half full, than a smaller bag that is packed to the brim. But, it sounds like the OMG (smaller one) might still be enough for what I’m describing…?

    • Anon

      OG. I carry it everyday, and with a tablet, lunch, cooler for pumped milk, pump parts, wallet, phone, and umbrella, it’s pretty packed.

    • JJ

      I have the OMG and it’s barely enough for what I need to carry every day, not including additional clothes. I’d go with the OG.

    • espresso bean

      I have the OMG, and it holds everything you described, but with some difficulty. It’s better on days when I pack gym stuff OR a lunch, not both. If you want lots of extra room, get the OG. That said, I love my OMG and I’ve made it work with some creative packing/stuffing. At 5’3″, I wouldn’t want a bigger bag than the OMG.

      In short — you’ll be fine with either!

      • Josie Pye

        I am 5′ and wouldn’t want anything bigger than the OMG either. I don’t put my gym stuff in it, but it holds clunky laptop, spiral notebook, all my grading (I’m a professor), lunch, water bottle, cardigan/wrap. It is pretty full at that point, though. This bag is the BEST.

    • Anonymous

      I have the OG and use it as a weekend bag for traveling. It’s much too big for me to use it comfortably as an every day bag.

    • lawsuited

      BUT the OMG is actually available for purchase and you’d have to join the waitlist for the OG in any colour but purple. Availability may matter to you in light of your Minkoff MAB emergency.

      • Lo & Sons!

        I just saw this, too! With free 2-way shipping I think I might get the OMG since it’s available, and decide once I see it in person. Plus I found a 20% off coupon code I can use now.

        RIP MAB. It was a good 4..yes, just FOUR, months (I’ll be taking a trip to Bloomingdales this weekend for a full refund……)

        • MissK

          I was just thinking about getting the MABMini –was yorus the bigger one, and were you carrying the laptop everyday?

          • Lo & Sons!

            Big one, and rarely carried a laptop… no excuse for this happening. I went into the store to tell them about it and they were shocked, and pretty much convinced me mine was just defective. But, I looked at one of the display bags and it was already starting to fall apart.

            Beautiful bag, but that type of quality just doesn’t fly. I will say, I have yet to find another blog that mentions the same issues as me. I got it because of the rave reviews on this site and CapHill. Had I not seen the display bag also in the beginning stages of falling apart, I would have had them replace the bag on the spot.

          • Lo & Sons!

            My post disappeared after I clicked “post comment” Grr.

            Big one, rarely a laptop (1-2x/month). Initially, when I started to see a problem with the handle, I went to the store and they had me very convinced my bag was just defective, but then I saw the display bag was in the early stages of the same problem. I was about to have them replace it on the spot, but when I saw the display bag I said forget it. I will say I haven’t seen any other sites/commentary that corroborates my issues. So, you may be fine and I may just be super unlucky, but my experience was very disappointing.

          • Anonymous

            I had the same problem with the big MAB. I carried a laptop only when I was travelling for work (about once every 2 weeks) and then only really between airports and hotels, not all day. They weren’t at all surprised when I returned mine so I had the feeling I wasn’t the first one.

          • Lo & Sons!

            My posts are so screwed up today. No spaces, all caps: v m a c s u m m e r 1 4

    • Baconpancakes

      This thread is very relevant to my interests. I’d mostly decided on the OMG but with y’all’s additional input, I’m reconsidering.

    • Alice

      I’d also do the OG. It’s heavy when packed full, but I’m 5’3″ and I use it for my 45 minute walking commute, no computer. Holds a couple light folders, themos of coffee, large (empty) water bottle, lunch, workout clothes, glasses/sunglasses/phone/wallet/keys/blackberry etc., maybe a change of shoes. Without a ton of room to spare.

    • Mrs. Jones

      OMG would be hard pressed to carry all the stuff you listed. But I love my OMG.

    • ac

      I think the OG is a better fit. I originally ordered the OMG but returned it for the OG as I wanted to use the bag as a one-night-travel bag, and the OMG is much more of an every-day bag.

    • West Coast Lawyer

      I ended up ordering both, but kept the OG. They felt very similar in size, but I think the OG has a slightly longer zipper which allows it to open a little wider. I have two L&S bags, and generally like them, but my biggest grip is that they don’t have any sort of gusset that would allow me to open the bag really wide so I can see what is inside. With the OMG, it was just too hard to get things in and out of the bag, or to find things at the bottom.

    • Contrarian

      I have an OG and took off the metal charm thing to lighten it up a bit. That thing was heavy (I put it in the dust bag).

    • Need to Improve

      I have the OG and I think the size is right for what you describe.

      That said, I sort of regret buying mine. It is great for the airport over my rolling bag, but otherwise, I don’t use it as much as I would have hoped. When it came, it looked way cheaper than what I expected at that price point. The zippers are flimsy/shoddy (one broke on first use and I had to replace the bag) and the leather looked thin and cheap as well. I was not impressed with the quality. Had I known, I would have gotten another MZ Wallace instead. I have several MZWs and they all are extremely high quality.

  4. Rebecca Minkoff Amorous satchel question

    I’m obsessed with the look of the Rebecca Minkoff “Amorous” satchel in tan. I missed getting it at the Nordstrom Anniversary sale, and regular price is way too much for me.

    This is the bag:
    http://bit.ly/1pwTCxS

    Has anyone seen anything similar for under $200? Or should I just suck it up and get this bag? On a related note, are Rebecca Minkoff bags worth the price?

    • Cat

      no help with a lookalike, but the poster right above you just said the handles of her Minkoff bag tore off… so there’s that. I’ve noticed a general uptick in complaints about Minkoff quality over the last two years or so as well.

    • AnonLawMom

      My minkoff back looks very worn after only one year. The handles are falling apart. I will never buy one again.

    • EduStudent

      I’m obsessed with my Amourous satchel (got it for Christmas) and desperately want the lavender color. I haven’t had any quality problems with mine so far, but because of everyone else’s experiences with RM lately I’m wary of buying another color.

      Note that I also haven’t used it daily – a few times a week or so, I’d guess. It just barely fits everything I need for work, including lunch and shoes. Normally I’d want a bag that zips fully over the top, but a) it is so gorgeous that I made an exception and b) there’s a small zipped portion in the middle that’s fabulous for keys, wallet, etc.

  5. Harrumph

    I just want to say that it really sucks that sick days don’t exist for lawyers. I likely have mono (according to my doctor, but blood work hasn’t come back yet). I’ve been feeling exhausted and sore all week (and might feel like this for 4-6 weeks! Argh!) but deadlines are deadlines, and with all the summer vacation going on there’s no one else to do the work, so here I sit, fighting the urge to curl up under my desk and stewing in my meloncoly. Harrumph.

    • Anonymous

      Huh? Deadlines for a litigator are made to be changed! Get you opposing counsel on the line, consent to extensions where needed, file the letters with the court and go home. We ain’t brain surgeons.

      • JJ

        If opposing counsel called me and told me that she had mono, I wouldn’t hesitate to agree to extend deadlines (absent some other compelling circumstances). There’s hardly a deadline in litigation that can’t be extended.

        • Maddie Ross

          Sadly, I agree that I totally would agree to extend deadlines, but not all litigators are as humane (and human!) as we are. Nor are all courts. And then there is the almighty billable hour. Boo. Hope you feel better soon! Try not to push too hard.

          • JJ

            This is true. Much like “know your office,” we also have “know your opposing counsel.” Some of them seem to exist just to drive up costs and make life difficult…

          • Moon Moon

            I had opposing counsel in a case file a motion to compel a deposition because it was rescheduled twice: once for hurricane sandy, once because the partner’s wife went into labor. She (yes she) said that he should have been able to plan around the baby being born — the baby came 3 weeks early. She actually attached the email correspondence to the brief. While the judge looked at her askance, it still reminded me how terrible us lawyers can be.

    • Flower

      I’m so sorry. When I had mono in middle school, I would literally fall asleep while putting on my clothes in the morning, and my friend dropped out of semester of college because of the severity of his case. I hope you can get at least some deadlines extended and take care of yourself – I got another virus immediately after that then lasted another 6 months, so try to push yourself too hard!

    • Anonymous

      If it’s really that bad, FMLA leave and your firm hires a contract replacement.

      • OP

        It’s not “really that bad” it’s just more difficult for me to do my work tired and sore than it is for me to do my work healthy. I know that medical leave exists as an option. My frustration is that many lawyerin’ jobs are fast-paced and high-demand so there aren’t a lot of options between working at full capacity and putting myself and my firm through the trouble of a medical leave and a contract replacement.

        FWIW, the deadlines are related to a trial scheduled to start in September, and I’m not first chair so I don’t think opposing counsel (or first chair) is going to be amenable to an adjournment because I have mono :P

        • Anon

          I don’t understand being a martyr here. You’re sick, you have a serious illness. You aren’t the owner of your firm, you sound like an associate. Tell them you are sick, take the time off and get better. You actually are not that important and you are placing the health of others at risk by thinking you are.

          • Anon2

            I do see your point, but as a counter, because I think you are implying that the OP is giving herself too much credit, I currently work for a partner (and have in the past worked for others) who behaves as if I am as replaceable as a widget in all circumstances other than those circumstances under which I am not going to be available at his beck and call at any hour of any day. I don’t think I’m that important at all, and there are people in my office who can step in to cover for any absence, but there is punishment if I require it or put him in the position where he even has to consider the possibility. This goes for illness, disability, vacation, matters for other partners, CLEs, etc. Hopefully this is not OP’s position, but I can understand her concern.

        • Scully

          If it is mono, you can have some relatively serious complications from spleen rupture, so be careful. Also, mono will draaaaggg out if you don’t take the time to rest up front- just like pneumonia. It’s better to bite the bullet, stay home and get over it than it is to suffer through and be a crappy performer months later while you still have mono because you didn’t rest up front.

          • OP

            I believe it. I happen to be a lawyer and am most familiar with my work situation and the those of colleagues who are also lawyers, and my work frustrations naturally relate to my own work.

    • Dulcinea

      I know what you mean and I feel you. I run my own cases and can ask op counsel for extensions, and generally they will cooperate BUT in my particular practice area, even where both parties agree to an extension you often have to physically go to court to get it approved…..and I have so many different matters that I,f say, I wanted to cancel everything for next week, it would probably take me at least all day today to make the arrangements for it, plus I would have to find a volunteer from my office to go to court in my stead and get the permission…It’s usually not worth it.

      Hope you feel better soon and hey, who knows? Maybe your case will settle first week of Sept and you can take some time off then!

  6. Another bag question

    Will be job interviewing soon and I’m in desperate need of a new bag to carry to interviews; my current purse is far too beat up at this point to look professional. I am on the petite side, so I’d prefer something on the smaller end of the spectrum since I look a little ridiculous with large bags. I am also vegetarian so it needs to be faux leather (or another non-leather material), but I’m willing to spend some money on it since I don’t want the faux leather to look cheap and it will certainly last me a while. I think I’ve seen a few vegetarians posting here – has anyone come across anything that fits a similar description??

      • Equity's Darling

        I’ve always enjoyed Mat and Nat, I’m glad they sharpened their lines.

        I just ordered the Malone in Blush, I’m so excited!

      • Lavinia

        I’d never heard of this brand, and now I want all the bags. Every single one of them.

    • lawsuited

      I’m in moderation because my reply included links to specific bags, but I recommend you check out Matt and Nat – their bags are gorgeous this season.

      • viclawstudent

        Vegetarian here, +1 to the above suggestion — I carry a Matt & Nat bag for work purposes and have used it in interviews and it’s held up well so far, plus I really like the look of their bags. The faux-leather they do is classy looking, IMO. They have a very wide range of styles and sizes currently available so you should be able find something that doesn’t overwhelm you, size-wise.

    • Flying Squirrel

      No faux leather options, but a piece of advice as a fellow petite one. I find that you want to aim for rectangular totes with the longest dimension being the width. I think that widths of around 13-14″ are ideal for a petite frame, though you can go up to 15″. Anything wider than that starts to look ridiculous.

      Actually, come to think of it there is a faux leather option you might like. Check out AT’s miniature Signature Tote. Also, FWIW, Jean from ExtraPetite blog swears by the regular sized Signature tote, though it’s a bit on the large size for my taste. I will say, however, that the shape makes it look a bit less big than its dimensions would suggest. There are often decent sale options at Talbots as well…though many are leather.

    • lucy stone

      I’m re-recommending the suggestion for Matt+Nat. I bought a wallet from there in 2003 that I still use occasionally and it is in excellent shape.

  7. For the poster yesterday looking for in-house tips

    I didn’t have time to respond yesterday (and I’m not the OP) but here are my thoughts on finding/landing an in-house gig:

    Finding opportunities:
    – start looking early, as in before you think you are ready, because good positions don’t come up too frequently
    – for some industries, prior knowledge of the industry is key – for others, it is not critical – know your audience
    – reach out to your network
    – if you speak a foreign language fluently, that can be a serious asset for an international company, so look for companies where your language skills will be an asset

    Landing opportunities:
    – most of the standard interview tips apply (dress appropriately, don’t ask questions that google already knows the answers to, be enthusiastic, etc)
    – in almost all cases, you’ll be taking an initial paycut. make sure you are okay with this. negotiating is one thing – acting like the paycut may be a dealbreaker is offputting to interviewers (because you should know about it already)
    – fit is huge (both with department and overall company culture)
    – it’s always very clear to us when a candidates wants to work in-house HERE, vs in-house anywhere. be the former.

    Good luck! I’ve spent more of my career in-house than in big law and couldn’t be happier.

    • Formerly SV in House now SF in House

      Thanks, I was planning to post today as well. I was already in house, but looking to go to a smaller company. I got great advice from the GC of a start up — you need to know and be enthusiastic about the company with which you are interviewing. It is partly about why you are good for the role, but a big part is why you are interviewing at that company. Good luck!

  9. Inhouse Newbie

    I’ll be transitioning from biglaw to an in-house position soon and would appreciate some advice from those who made the same leap. Anything you wish you knew ahead of time/things you wish someone told you before you started? Surprises about in-house practice that you didn’t anticipate? Thanks in advance!

  10. Personal Scanner

    Does anyone have a handheld scanner at home? Or scan their bills, paperwork, etc? Something fast?

    I handle all of our finances and paperwork at home and frankly, we have a lot and I can’t keep up with the growing mountain. I also am always a little bit hesitant to throw things away because I don’t know if we might need them. We both work, we own two properties (one rental), we have what basically amounts to two side businesses, we manage a trust for an individual with a disability – it is safe to say that we receive at least 400 pieces of paper every month that need to be kept somewhere.

    We rarely need to actually use any of these documents – but they are all documents we need to have on hand in case something were to be challenged or needed.

    I’d like to get a scanner (think it would be cheaper than a personal assistant). Does anyone have one? do I have to spend a lot of time organizing after I get it? Can I get one that both scans documents and also lets me search through my scans for key words in that document?
    Would this realistically help me cut down on the mountain of paperwork that I have waiting at home every day?

    • AIMS

      There are apps that do this, I have Scanner Pro for iphone. It’s $6.99 now but often available for free during random promo periods.

    • Cb

      I’m curious to hear thoughts as well. I sadly need to hold onto originals for immigration purposes but would love to cut down on the amount of paper clutter.

      Could you find a reliable student to do all the scanning for you? You could just make a file name convention and get one that does optical character recognition (which means you can search for a specific item within the document and it’ll find it) It might require a bit of set-up but then you’d have the files available as searchable documents.

    • Meg Murry

      I’ve never used the service, but I’ve considered using ShoeBoxed more than once. Apparently you can either scan documents yourself or you can send them envelopes of paperwork that they will scan, tag and sort for you.
      Apparently Neat also has a service to mail envelopes of receipts off and have them scanned.

      Our situation sounds a lot like yours, and right now, we just have boxes and boxes of paper, loosely organized by date (ish). If we ever get audited, we will have so much sorting to do its not funny.

    • Senior Attorney

      This may be ridiculous for some reason I haven’t thought of, but I just take photos of my important documents with my phone or camera. I just went through the process of buying a house, and everyone from the real estate people to the lender was happy to accept JPG versions of all my documents. No scanner needed.

      And… just re-read and saw that you need to search by key words. Oops. Never mind. But a good file-naming system could go a long way here.

      • anonsg

        If you have JPG versions and you convert them to PDF, you can use the OCR tool in Adobe Acrobat to make the images searchable. If you want to, you can also download an app on your phone that takes a picture and automatically converts it to PDF.. then you can put the PDF in the program on your computer to OCR it and make the text searchable.

    • lucy stone

      I have a ScanSnap at work and am seriously considering one for home as well.

  11. Anon for this

    Apropos of the discussion yesterday about the husband who gets upset/angry about small things…I am a little like that. I am working on it, but I do get “hangry,” sometimes get overwhelmed/upset/frustrated/angry about small things at home, and I don’t want to be the person to take that out on my SO. My family does have a history of depression, and I have been starting to wonder if I perhaps have mild anxiety or depression (I also tend to have problems dwelling on certain things to the point where I know it’s not quite healthy…a family member’s current poor relationship decisions that I really cannot control, change or affect, for example).

    I would really love any advice from the hive about how to go about addressing this. After a stint of unemployment I have insurance (pretty bare bones, but it’s insurance!). This sounds silly, but I’m unsure of first steps. I would be open to seeing a therapist, but also to seeing if this is something that perhaps medication could address. Should I first go see my usual Physician’s Assistant and ask about medications and/or seek a referral? Seek out therapists and start there? What type of therapist? Or a psychiatrist or a psychologist?

    Thanks. And FWIW, I realize responders are not my doctor or medical professionals, I’d just like to hear about some experiences, timelines, pros and cons to make this first step seem less intimidating. I’ll talk to my doctor, I promise.

    • Mrs. Jones

      Last year I became completely overwhelmed, sad, discouraged, stressed, etc. and couldn’t cope with anything. I made appointments with both a psychologist and a psychiatrist, which I think I found through Angie’s List. I saw the psychologist several times, and he helped me try not to be so hard on myself, etc. I also saw the psychiatrist a few times, and he prescribed an anti-depressant that definitely helped. You could also start with your usual doctor and ask for meds/referrals. Or ask friends for referrals.

    • Lynnet

      I could have written this two years ago. I ended up going to see my doctor, because I couldn’t get into any place else within 6 months. I was shocked how easy it was. I said I was depressed. She gave me a ten question questionnaire, and then gave me drugs. If I’d known how easy it would be I would have gone years prior, and saved myself years of living with completely uncontrolled depression. I’ve been to therapy on and off over the years and never had much success, so I can’t speak to that, but the medication has been life changing.

    • Carrie

      I would start with your PA. Your PA may be able to prescribe a low dose of an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant and transition you to a therapist. Most therapists cannot prescribe meds. And most psychiatrists do not do therapy. The best treatment tends to be a combination of meds + therapy, and sometimes you can taper off the meds in the future. So this is a pretty ineffecient system.

      It is actually a little hard to find a therapist for many, so going blindly onto the internet etc… to pick a doctor is less optimal. Certainly many do this…

    • Anon

      A lot of therapists work in conjunction with psychiatrists (who can be harder to get in to see). I’d start with a therapist and have them help you with a referral. In almost all cases even if meds help, you still probably need to talk to someone too. A therapist can be a phd psychologist with a clinical background, a licensed social worker, marriage/family counselor – they come in lots of stripes. Psychology today has a good directory.

    • OP

      Thanks very much, everyone. This is helpful. I think this kind of confirms what I was feeling, and what Carrie said, namely, that the system does seem a little inefficient and not particularly integrated. I think perhaps I will make an appointment to see my PA, and at the same time search for referrals to a therapist.

      Actually, recommendations for a therapist to in the DC area would be welcome. I’ll search old threads as well.

  12. Baconpancakes

    Whoaaaa that just happened.

    My team has two managers, an understanding one who works with us and motivates and inspires us to do the great work we’re known for, and a numbers one who is very by-the-book and robotic. The understanding manager is getting promoted off the team.

    This morning, one of my coworkers got into a minor car accident. She’s ok, but her car has a lot of damage from the SUV that rear ended her. The robotic manager asked her how she was doing, then said, “Maybe if you got to work and got back into the swing of things it would help make things feel normal.”

    Um… excuse you? Kinda worried about how the team is going to do with just the one manager. There may be rioting.

    • Anonymous

      Um maybe it would help? Or maybe your coworker should be calling out sick instead of coming in and distracting everyone else when she can’t focus on doing her work? This doesn’t strike me as crazy out of line from a manager at all.

      • Carrie

        Agree. Sure, not a touchy feely response, but appropriate for a manager. If the employee needs a personal/vacation day, they can take one if this is an option.

        • Baconpancakes

          Appropriate? I suppose, if you want your employees to feel like they actually ARE cogs in a machine and dehumanize them. It’ s not a great motivation to encourage loyalty, I’ll tell you that. Suggesting she take a personal day would’ve been fine, but that’s not what the manager did, and she certainly wasn’t freaking out and distracting everyone.

      • Anon

        Disagree. It’s clearly upsetting to get in an accident. A little sympathy with “what do you need” never hurt anyone and goes a long way toward keeping people happy and motivated rather than distracted by the additional issue of a callous manager.

      • Clementine

        See, for me the part that makes this a ‘woaaaahhhh Nellie’ moment is the relationship that the manager has to the person who got into the accident.

        My mother/sister/spouse/self telling me “Maybe if you got to work and got back into the swing of things it would help make things feel normal.”- Not great, but not horrible.

        A manager implying that you should come in when you’ve already communicated that you won’t be in, not totally cool. This manager sounds like they really don’t get the interpersonal part of managing.

        • Anonymous

          It sounds like she had come in, and was doing something other than her job.

          • Baconpancakes

            Yes, she was answering the questions we were asking about why she was late and what happened and whether she was ok after finding out she’d just been in a car crash. The conversation had been going on for about 5 minutes. Do you guys not talk to your coworkers about anything other than work?

            Seriously asking here. Because the small talk that goes on with my coworkers is what makes the job enjoyable and the days pass and I shudder to think of a workplace where you’re reprimanded for being friendly.

          • McGiggles

            I think it’s different for a manager small talking with employees (other than like a work social event) and employees small talking amongst each other. It’s the managers job to make sure all is okay and then get back to work – no dwelling on it. Also I hope your manager doesn’t read this blog.

          • Baconpancakes

            Unlikely he reads this, and he actually inserted himself into the conversation between coworkers. Which he does often.

    • Maddie Ross

      It seems to me that if she came in, the comment was not entirely out of place. If she was injured or too shaken to work, she probably should have taken a personal/sick day. And from the follow up comments it also sounds like she was distracting the rest of the office. It’s not perhaps the most touchy feeling management style, but it doesn’t seem to be a reason for “revolt.”

      • Anonattorneytoo

        I’m guessing Baconpancakes and her coworkers are not working on an assembly line… Manager is being unreasonable and not realizing that damage comments like that do to moral. I’m with you, Baconpancakes…

        • Anon

          Same here. If I didn’t have a friendly/care about my coworkers as people workplace I would leave.

    • hoola hoopa

      Agree with the others that you may have a b*ch eating crackers situation here.

          • Baconpancakes

            Ha, I’ve never heard that before but it’s great. You make a good point – the unsympathetic attitude is a sore point. After someone found out their grandmother died, and he said, “Nothing you can do about it. Might as well get back to work.” Another team member has regular doctor’s appointments early in the morning, once a week, and the arrangement with the sympathetic manager was to just work an extra hour after normal hours, but this manager asked, “So, you have sick time you’re using for that, right?” On another coworker’s birthday, we had cupcakes, and gathered around for a few minutes, before he said, “You know what goes great with cupcakes? Working.”

            Meanwhile, we’re one of the highest producing teams in the company, and we actually like working with each other.

  13. Sunshine

    The skincare/sunscreen thread the other day came on the same day that I got a call from my dermatologist that one of the two moles she removed was noncancerous but very abnormal. I have to go back for an outpatient surgery to excise around it and make sure the margins are clear. Basically, if it wasn’t removed, it probably would have turned into cancer eventually.

    I do have a family history of skin cancer, including melanoma, but with the dramatic rise in the number of cases in younger women, I want to encourage everyone to get a skin check annually. Of course, the risk is greater if you use tanning beds, don’t use sunscreen, etc., but even if you minimize your risk, it’s still critical to get checked.

    I’m glad this was caught early but I’m also freaked out that I’m in my early 30’s and already had something suspicious removed. Has anyone else gone through this?

    • jc

      Are you me? This exact same situation just happened to me except they got it all on the first round. Glad they caught yours, but if it helps I’m only 26 and have no family history. Truly scary.

      I thoroughly regret tanning so much in college and high school. I hope “tan is beautiful” dies out before my kids are old enough to want to do it too.

    • Mrs. Jones

      Yes, twice. I’m in my early 40’s. I am very pale and had many terrible sunburns as a teenager. My mother had melanoma. I go to the dermatologist at least once a year and more often if I don’t like the look of a mole/freckle. And I wear sunscreen every day and hats when I’m outside for a while. I agree that everyone should get checked regularly by a dermatologist.

    • Carrie

      I agree.

      I recommend that women have a once a year skin check with a dermatologist. Definitely if you are over 40. Sooner if you have family history of skin cancer. Sooner if you had frequent blistering sunburns when you were a child.

    • moles

      Yes, I’ve had 2 severely dysplastic nevuses/nevi removed – those are ones that could potentially have turned into cancer, but there’s no way to know. I had to get follow-ups to clear the margins as well, and one was on my face so I had to get a plastic surgeon to do it. The first was in my mid-20’s, second in my 30’s. I use sunscreen and stay out of the sun and have never intentionally tanned, but unfortunately grew up in a very sunny state at a time when it wasn’t common to put sunscreen on kids and we spent recesses, PE, swimming lessons outside baking in the sun (I cringe at the thought).

      I have to get checks every 6 months and frequently get moles removed that usually are benign, but it’s still a pain. It must also be genetically related (although no one in my family has had these), because all of my peers who grew up here were in the exact same circumstances (lots of sun as kids, no regular sunscreen) and most people don’t have a problem. Well, maybe until they’re older – my state does have one of the highest skin cancer rates. I am super vigilant about sun exposure for my kids but what kills me is that schools still take kids outside in the middle of the day, including in the summer. Sunscreen only does so much, it’s not completely protective.

    • TXLawyer

      Uh, seriously just got the same call from my dermatologist this week. I tanned literally every 24 hours (because that was the minimum waiting period in between tanning bed sessions) for years as a teenager. Ugh.

      I waited a long time before going in to get a baseline skin/mole check. Dr removed 3, sent them in for path, and reported that one was “severely abnormal, but not malignant.” A follow up outpatient surgery will excise it.

      I have no idea why I waited so long to get checked. It was quick, easy and painless. “Recovery” from the initial scraping was minimal and not painful. Just to echo OP, annual skin checks are a great idea, even if you don’t have obvious risk factors. A baseline check will be helpful down the road in case you have increased sun exposure and changes in your skin.

  14. DC Chinatown food options

    DC ladies- just moved to an office by Chinatown and am wondering if anyone has any favorite quick lunch spots (mostly interested in grab and go). TIA!

    • Alice

      Teaism in the Penn Quarter is healthy and delicious. A bit on the pricey side, and I don’t remember if they do take out.

      Taylor’s Gourmet has good sandwiches (I usually get a large one and it serves for two meals).

    • roses

      Luke’s Lobster and Taylor Gourmet are great options on 7th and E; Protein Bar on 7th and D; Chop’t and Shophouse on 7th and G.

  15. Preserving old family photos?

    By old, I mean ones from my childhood in the 80s and early 90s. No negatives. I’m trying to decide if I should have them scanned, or copied, or something to make sure I can access them if something happens to the originals. What do you all do?

    • Gail the Goldfish

      I’ve scanned some. It does take a while, though, since I just used my normal scanner/copier and don’t want to feed a stack through the scanner and have to do each one individually. My parents have a scanner designed specifically for negatives I’ve used, and I would imagine someone makes a scanner specifically designed to scan stacks of photos, but I have no recommendations.

    • Anon

      Get a pro to take photos of the old photos. You’ll get a better digital file than a scan.

    • cavity maker

      If available, the best thing to do is scan negatives. If you don’t have negatives, there are ways that you can scan original photos, but negatives are best because they don’t degrade/discolor like photos can/do– even just from 20 years ago.

  16. Shosh

    Okay, back on topic.

    I checked Talbots online site and I don’t see that these shirts on on sale?
    They all seem to cost $49.50.
    Did anyone else find this?

    • Ekaterin Nile

      Only a few size/color combos are on sale. I thought about pulling the trigger on a full-price version, but decided against it.

      In other news, I’m binge-watching season one of Scandal tonight. I just finished episode 3 . . . on to episode 4

  17. MARY TACKETT

    WTF IS GOING ON. I HAVEN’T ORDERED ANYTHING FROM YOU. MY BANK SAYS YOU HAVE A CHARGE OF 94.65. TAKE IT OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions