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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 145 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Twist Sleeve Pleat Front Top

The Personal Shopper (TPS) | · · ·

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. ASOS Twist Sleeve Pleat Front TopI really like the look of this jersey top. Love the interesting cap sleeves and the pleats in the front, as well as the scoop neckline. I'm more a fan of the navy (pictured) than the beige, but that's just my own coloring. I'd wear it with a pencil skirt and pair of purple pumps. It's $34.48 at Asos. ASOS Twist Sleeve Pleat Front Top icon Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

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Comments

    • SF Bay Associate

      Me too! And the neckline avoids cleavage tunnel when hunched over a desk. The top is 50% cotton/ 50% modal – I had bad experiences with Gap modal years ago (pills, shreds, starts looking grody quickly), so I stopped buying it. Has modal improved in the years since?

      • Eponine

        In my experience modal always develops small holes, even if you don’t put it in the dryer. Cotton/modal might be better quality.

  2. Me

    I like the blue. The beige is exactly the color of my skin – not very flattering. I can’t get over the skirt they’ve paired it with – that’s so incredibly awful! (I know that’s not what we’re focused on – I just couldn’t help it).

    • Anonymous

      I don’t see anything wrong with the skirt. It’s on the casual side, so I might save it for Fridays, but “awful” seems like an overstatement.

      • Curious

        Well, I think button down the front skirts are really out of style now. I have a button down the front dress that I have my doubts about, too. Anyone agree?

    • Nonny

      Fit is OK but as with everything, it will depend on body type. Skirts are notoriously short – I would avoid. Quality is not great and you won’t find anything lined….but for short-term wardrobe refreshers, ASOS is fine.

  4. Anna D.

    Okay, this is kind of a random response but: I think this post explains my fundamental disagreement with the idea of wearing black and navy together (regularly discussed here), because I wouldn’t call that top navy. I’d call it cobalt. To me, navy is always darker than the color of that top (hence I never wear it with black, because there is no way to avoid I Got Dressed In The Dark syndrome) (the exception is I’ll wear black shoes with navy – true navy – just because I don’t like many navy shoes). Have I just understood my colors wrong all this time??

    • Janie

      I agree with your interpretation. I usually wear dark brown shoes with “true navy.” But today I’m wearing a navy dress, a cardigan that has large flowers in light blue, cobalt and black, and black shoes. I think the cardigan nicely ties in the navy of the dress with the black of the shoes.

    • Kady

      Yes, for me, navy is not just the true dark navy that most suits come in. Another example of navy for me is the Issa dress that Kate Middleton wore at her engagement announcement. I think this shade of navy goes wonderfully with black.

      • Anna D.

        I agree that the Kate Middleton dress color would look good with black, but for me, it’s still a shade too bright to be called navy. (Just my personal take. FWIW, when I was a kid, my sister and I had a half-hour long argument over whether a sweater was turquoise or teal, so I get a little OCD over these issues!)

    • KH

      It’s “navy” only possibly in the sense of outfits that are designed to make one think nautical and “Navy.” I’ve seen this blue with white strips, gold buttons, rope-wrapped espadrilles, etc.

      But picture this color on a Brooks Bros. suit and it would never be called “navy”

  5. shrink

    Threadjack on a hot, dry weekend in Texas! Even here, where oil is refined into gasoline just a quick freeway drive away, grocery prices are climbing up.

    Which online manufacturer grocery item coupon site do you trust?

    Most of all, which is reliable, doesn’t overload your inbox, and has coupons which you can use?

    With internet security concerns, I am still reluctant.

    What’s the inevitable catch or cost?

    Thanks to all the money-wise Corporettes!

    Happy weekend to all.

  6. MaggieLizer

    OK I need to vent. Why is it that men feel the need to apologize for cursing in front of me in business meetings? They don’t apologize to the male attorneys; they single out me, as the only woman in the room. I have had two or three client meetings where either the client or a male partner cursed and immediately turned to me sheepishly and said, “oh I’m sorry, MaggieLizer.” It’s not as if they’re even dropping f bombs. Believe me, I have heard the word “ass” before. I have one. I do my best to not show it off when I wear a pencil skirt. Oh, I’m sorry ladies, did I offend your delicate sensibilities? I have some smelling salts if anyone swooned.

    I really don’t know what to do in these situations other than smile and say “oh no, that’s fine.” I’m always tempted to say “don’t worry, I’ve called the opposing party so much worse,” which is usually true at least of my internal dialogue, but so far I’ve resisted. I figure if these men are the type of people who think they have to apologize for cursing in front of a woman, then there’s a good chance they’re the type of people who think that it’s trashy for a woman to curse. Has anyone else had to deal with this?

    • Em

      Yeah, it’s pretty annoying. I’ve heard suggested “Don’t worry, I heard worse on the subway this morning” (varied as appropriate locally), but haven’t tried it myself yet.

    • Alex

      I also find this annoying, although I still like it when men hold the door open for me (is that hypocritical?). Anyway, I usually go with something like your gut response or blame it on my husband: “Oh, no problem, you should meet my husband.” Which probably doesn’t solve the problem, but gets across that I have heard these words and they don’t offend me but also doesn’t say “yes, I also swear like a sailor,” which I do, but whatever. I don’t know. It’s the residual sexism in the workplace that probably won’t ever disappear (or at least not anytime soon).

      Related to this, I am getting a lot of “you aren’t aggressive enough” feedback from male partners, and I think it’s partly because I don’t yell and scream at opposing counsel, and I keep a very cool head about me at all times (which is rather a good thing and can be quite unnerving to others at times). I wish men would understand that taking an aggressive legal position and sticking to it does not always have to come with screaming.

    • C2

      I deal with this cons.tant.ly. and it drives me insane. I’ve mentioned in past conversations about this here that I always try to make a joke out of it a la your dream-line. My go-to is “Don’t worry, I said much worse on my commute this morning.”

      Obviously there are certain circumstances where you should know your audience and just keep moving, but after several years of being the only woman on deals, I am pretty fast and loose with my sarcasm about this. Even if it makes them think I’m “trashy” (I know what you mean), I don’t care — I’m not trying to prove myself to be wife material, I’m trying to prove myself to be an equal in the conversation. So far I’ve had no bad reactions and have gotten a few clients to stop apologizing altogether.

    • Lyssa

      That bugs me, too (although, at the same time, I think it’s kind of cute/endearing from an older gentleman-types). I usually just laugh and say something like “Believe me, it’s not a problem- I’m Italian!” (“From New Jersey” also works). Sometimes I add “I’ve been called worse by my grandmother.” (this is 100% true, BTW- Italian grandmothers are the awesome.)

    • Maddie Ross

      No good advice, but can I just say this drives me crazy!!?? I was in a mediation last month with 18 other parties. Everyone else at the mediation was male and all but 2 or 3 were significantly older than me. I felt good all day and felt I was completely holding my own for my client, until this exact thing happened at 7pm. One of the other attorneys got riled up and called opposing counsel an a..hole. Then he stopped and apologized profusely to me. Thankfully, one of the other male attorneys called him out for his behavoir for me, but way to make me feel (this) big.

    • SJB

      I think it is b/c they always curse among themselves in the locker room and do other “guy” things and say “guy” things to other guys.

      I know that they even apolagize to other new men they are not familiar with, b/c until they are familiar with them, they are afraid of offending them.

      It is more so with women, who are always thought of as the fairer sex. Unless you are one of the “guys”, you will get apolagized to regularly. It’s also why they open doors for us, literally.

      • Lyssa

        Or you could just say “for what?” or say “why would you think that would bother me?” (with a smile, of course)

    • JAS1

      I haven’t had that experience, but fwiw there was a letter to Dear Prudence on Slate this week, in which a woman wrote in asking how to get her all-make colleagues to STOP swearing around her. Prudence basically told her to suck it up, but many of the commenters were of the opinion that the swearing constituted a hostile work environment and the LW could maybe sue!

      So I guess there are women/people out there who find it very offensive and maybe the men are trying to be sensitive to that. Personally, I come from your perspective – I’m not a dainty flower who needs to be protected from coarse language! In fact I have a bit of a swearing problem myself.

      • JAS1

        Now that I’ve given it some thought I guess my dream response to an apology would be “That’s ok, I don’t give a f***” with a smile. But that’s probably going a little too far.

        • MaggieLizer

          Just had an associate ask me what was so funny because I laughed when I read this. Fantastic.

        • Anon

          I was just thinking that maybe I dont have this problem b/c I swear more than most of my male counterparts.

        • Anonymous

          That has become my exact response. Well, more often, “I don’t give a sh** if you curse around me. I’m a lawyer. I’m not dainty.”

      • Italian Tomato

        I work with a guy who is mormon who does not swear and seems visibly uncomfortable when we swear. We have all tried to cut back big time.

    • Italian Tomato

      Yes, and I usually respond with “I worked in a jail; trust me, I have heard a lot worse.”

      In your situation you could say “I have been doing this so long, I have heard a lot worse” or just “trust me, you are not offending me, please speak freely.”

      • anon-j

        Co-sign. I really like the “trust me, you are not offending me, please speak freely” suggestion. I think that strikes the perfect balance…

    • Veronica

      I get that and I hate that too… it’s sexism and it’s not amusing. I try to make up for it by having as much of a foul mouth as I can get away with at work – but you’re right, there’s a good chance it’d be seen as “trashy” by the same clueless men. Funny aside though, I once had a partner apologize after referring to part of the female genitalia in front of me in a totally neutral and inoffensive context (personal injury case with an emphasis on personal – poor woman.) I looked at him with this expression of utter bemusement and responded “Neil, I have that. I’m not offended by the concept of it.” That may have opened his mind just a crack. One can hope, anyway.

    • Veronica

      Oh – I’ve also had success with an expression of mock-horror and “Oh no! My delicate, shell-pink ears!” Usually makes them laugh and hopefully realize they’re being sexist.

    • Consultant in NoVA

      I’d quote what you said in your post, “Believe me, I’ve heard the word ass before.” I find that once you curse around someone, they’re more comfortable cursing around you.

    • 9999999

      I’ll be the minority here, but I actually like it when I’m treated like a woman in the office.

      If it was all men and they started scratching their balls would you be ok with it and get all annoyed if they then apologized and stopped? Some commenters say it’s sexist. Do you think it’s sexist they dont talk about sex in front of you or apologize but might now with the male colleagues?

      I think they are trying to be nice and also to be considerate of you and you are all “offended” by a nice gesture? WTF?!?!?!?

      I expect men in the office to open the door, let me on the elevator first, and apologize if they do something they think is offensive to women.

      I also expect to one day get the corner office.

      Lighten up. Be thankful you dont work for compelte as*holes you don’t give a sh*t if they offend you or not.

      • ADS

        That’s not treating you like a woman. That’s treating you like a lady.

        There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being treated like a lady – in a social setting. But acting as though the women in the office are there in a social setting, and using social etiquette with them that they would not use with male colleagues, is not appropriate. I know the rules of business etiquette – I hold the door for my boss and let my boss off the elevator first. When he holds the door for me, etc., instead, he’s removing my ability to follow business etiquette, and business etiquette is an important skill in the workplace.

        I don’t get huffy when folks let me off the elevator first, it’s true. There are hills that aren’t worth dying on, and I don’t think that any of my co-workers or bosses are consciously doing to so marginalize me. But I have made it very clear to my co-workers and bosses over time that I am not a delicate flower, and they should not apologize for swearing in front of me as if I were a child or otherwise unable to withstand such words. I do so by swearing in their presence, at exactly the same level of “blueness” that they swear in front of me. Over time, it works.

        • 9999999

          As a gal with a guy boss I’ve never held the door for him? Are you kidding me? THat’s business etiquette and he’s removing your ability to follow business etiquette? Serisouly.

          In all honesty if a guy expected me to open the door for him, boss or not, I’d think much less of him.

          I also don’t stand there and wait for him to open it, but 99% of male partners at my firm (a large firm) open the door, do the hand gesture where the female associates and secretaries get on the elevator first, etc.

          It’s just called being nice.
          I stand by my statement.

        • 9999999

          I’d also like to add that a great female partner told me that she found success once she realized she couldn’t be masculine and stopped trying.

          To me, cursing back by saying “f* ck, or G*dD*amn, just to show the boys they can curse around you is really you just trying to fit into their mold. Obviously if they feel awkward curising around you they probably dont hear you curse often, maybe because you don’t. Pretending to “fit in” just doesn’t seem like the answer.

          I dont curse. I won’t . I don’t care if they apologize to me. I think it’s respectful. I own that’s who I am as a smart, classy lady.

    • Duckie

      This never happens to me, but then again, everyone drops f-bombs in meetings at my office, not just the guys.

    • Mondette

      On th opposite end of the spectrum… I’m much more offended by the men who think that they can have the same conversations in mixed company (ie. with me there) that they have when it’s just the guys. I don’t think it’s appropriate to discuss what they want to do with the hot young waitress (for example) in front of another woman, and I find it offensive. If the men I’m around have to err on one side or the other, I’d rather they apologize for cursing (although I absolutely curse) than involve me in a vulgar conversation and not even notice that I’m offended.

      • Veronica

        I think of it less as an opposite and more as another manifestation of the same problem – treating women like a different species. The apologies aren’t sincere anyhow, they’re usually (if the guy is young, especially) delivered with a smirk.

    • kellyn

      I hate this too! I actually just had a conversation about this with my husband, who fully admitted to watching his mouth around the very few female co-workers in his workplace. For him, he just felt like it was crass and he didn’t want to risk offending anyone. He knows he can swear around his close co-worker because they are friends, so he knows the boundaries, but he’s not as close with the women and even some of the other men, so he watches his mouth around those people.

      I love that where I work, the men do NOT censor themselves around me. I work in a courthouse and the 15 or so sheriffs know that I can drop f bombs and sling a beer with the best of them (I don’t do that frequently with co-workers, obviously). That said, it tends to be a pretty respectful workplace. I think it’s because I made it clear from the get go that I was not some delicate woman who couldn’t have her feathers rustled with a few crass words.

    • Anon

      This happened pretty frequently over my summer internship last year. Finally, my boss (male), made the comment “look, I’m sure she’s heard curse words before. I never apologize for my cussing so stop singling her out like she’s delicate.”

      I was quite pleased that he realized how rude it was that others in the meeting would do this. He made it a point never to act like I was any different for being female, and I will always appreciate that.

    • Not delicate

      I’ve been there! Went on a business trip with 3 male C-suite execs, and heard the F-word from all 3 in the first 10 minutes of the trip. After some awkward silence, the most senior exec turns to me and says, “Ms. Name, how are you today? How was the flight?” in a super formal tone. SO AWKWARD… especially since many people in the office curse on a regular basis, so it’s not like it’s “against office culture” or something. Also awkward that I notice them “covertly” checking out the attractive women we pass in the airport. Do you think I can’t see you? Do you think I don’t notice that that’s what you’re doing? Sigh… I think they honestly believe they’re being “secret” about these things :)

    • Mir

      This is funny to me because I have always worked with a lot of military/former-military who quite literally swear like sailors around the office and don’t care who’s listening. I’m not offended, and I’ve been known to let fly some profanity, myself, from time-to-time (though I do try to keep it to a bare minimum at work) but sometimes I actually do wish they would tone it down a bit… we’re college-educated professionals with desk jobs, not swarthy dock workers (no offense to any dock workers out there). The grass is always greener!

      As a response, I second “that’s ok, I don’t give a f@#$”

    • Amelia

      I think it’s annoying, but I wouldn’t give a man a hard time about it. I think that in their mind, they think that to curse is uncivilized, and feel a greater need to behave in a civilized manner in front of women. Yes, it means that for those men, you may never be considered “one of the guys” but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t considered their equal. They might apologize for cursing in front of a senior partner or client too, and it’s a sign of respect in their minds. If there is other evidence to suggest they value you less as an equal, then this is a problem. Otherwise, I’d shrug it off, or if feeling put on the spot about it, respond with “Yeah Tom, that totally offended my f*cking delicate sensibilities.”

    • cbackson

      Not precisely on point, but I really, really dislike cursing in the office. And even though I work in the less-formal environs of the PNW, no one that I work with uses profanity in the business context. I would apologize if I slipped up and did so, whether I was speaking to a man or a woman.

      (I should say that if I’m in a closed-door venting session with a peer or work-friend about something, I don’t care, but that’s a little bit different.)

      • Argie

        I’m with you – cursing just doesn’t strike me as polite or professional, regardless of gender.

        I’ll also recognize a difference between habitual use (dropping the f-bomb as a regular adjective) vs. the occasional usage (under the breath utterance or very emphatic response). I do not believe the former is appropriate (the dictionary is big – use some of the other words), but the I’d let the latter slide.

        • cbackson

          Yup, agreed. I remember once signing off of a conference call after a very contentious negotiation with opposing counsel and the (female) partner on our side of the deal, who was ordinarily extremely demure, just said, “JESUS, he is an F’ING A**HOLE!” And it was, under the circumstances, precisely how everyone in the room felt.

    • Little Lurker

      In a number of interviews, Tina Fey has expressed ardent appreciation for her friend Amy Poehler’s incredible potty mouth. There’s an even better story than the one she tells in this video, but I think it’s in her book Bossypants and I can’t be bothered to go type it up.

      This (short) video is very, very NSFW. (Most of the filmed clips come from blooper reels of Amy’s awesome, subtly feminist show “Parks and Recreation”)

      http://youtu.be/RdkQgkxt0UI

    • Lydia

      Guess I am on the other side on this too. I think they are just trying to be polite. It seems odd to me to get upset about another person’s attempt to be considerate. Like most people, I am known to curse every now and then, but getting upset that someone apologizes for cursing around me would be akin to getting upset that they let me on the elevator first. Aren’t there more important things to worry about than getting upset at guys’ attempts to be polite? If that is the worse thing that happens on a work day, I’d thnk you had a pretty good day.

      • 9999999

        I am shocked so many women here actually take this as a slight instead of as an attempt at courtesy and to make sure they do not feel left out/outside. By them acknowledging that it could be offensive and hence could alienate them and by not doing it so as to not alienate them.

        Sometimes when I read this blog I feel sorry for these professional women who always have something to complain about.

        • AIMS

          No one is getting upset that someone is apologizing for cursing.
          The “slight” is that the person cursing only feels compelled to apologize to the woman, not to the room full of men, who they also may have offended.

          I have let a curseword or two slip at work once in a while, and when I have, I apologized to the entire group; not to one gender, while assuming the other gender was totally on board with me.

          • Anna D.

            This exactly. Why apologize only to the women? Why is there an assumption that men are all great with cursing and women aren’t? Either cursing is inappropriate in your workplace, in which case a curser should apologize to everyone, or it’s not, in which case, no need to say anything. There shouldn’t be different standards for men and women. (Personally, I agree that it’s not always worth the energy to worry about this kind of different treatment, but I completely understand why it’s annoying and think it should be avoided.)

            The issue also makes me laugh, though, because last summer I worked on the same floor as a woman (partner in law firm) who has the FOULEST mouth I’ve ever heard. It was really common to hear her yell things like, “What the f*** do those motherf*****s think they’re motherf***ing doing?” after e.g. phone calls with opposing counsel. (She never swore AT anyone in the firm, I should add.) It was actually pretty entertaining. I have no idea how she manages not to swear like a sailor in court since it’s her default mode of talking the rest of the time.

      • anon

        Most of the time, people (male or female) who curse at work strike me as affected. I used to curse a lot when I was a teenager and I thought cursing made me seem tough and cool, but I’ve outgrown the need to “impress” in that way.

    • Louise

      This used to happen quite a bit to me when I was a young engineer working with customers who were Navy officers. They did, indeed, swear like sailors. If someone apologized after saying, “…if we could just change the *$#& specification,” my response was to single out the other word in their sentence. “That’s okay, Tom, I’ve heard much dirtier words than ‘specification.'” For some reason, the absurdity of my reply tended to break any tension. Worked for me.

      • North Shore

        My husband is an officer in the Navy, and I can count on one hand the times I’ve heard him swear around me in our 15+ years together. He says that at work, though, he pretty much has to swear all the time or nobody will take him seriously. I suppose it’s even harder for women in the military to deal with this and continue to be taken seriously.

    • karenpadi

      I’d just drop a few (appropriately) placed f-bombs myself in front of those guys and NOT apologize. If it’s office culture, it’s office culture so follow the cultural norms.

      But then, I have a potty mouth I’m trying to get rid of because my current office culture is not potty-mouthed (we swore like sailors at my previous one). Really, my current office doesn’t even use “shucks” “shoot” or “darn”.

    • North Shore

      Could it be an age thing as well as a woman thing? I remember guys apologizing for swearing around me in my younger days, but now that I’m in my 40’s, I can’t recall this happening for ages. Perhaps I no longer look like a delicate flower. But that just makes it worse because that means they are singling you out for being a young woman, which isn’t helpful professionally. I like the approach of 11:33’s boss to call the others out on it.

    • mamabear

      It was funny for me to read your vent. When I was in my mid to late 20s and just getting started in my career, I used to get really upset about any treatment at work that singled me out as a female.

      But now that I’m in my mid 40s, I don’t mind it. I am very confident of my position and abilities, and most of the men in this office are now junior to me. So when they hold a door open for me, I genuinely appreciate it. If they apologize for cursing in front of me, I generally smile and say, “no problem.” But I don’t get offended by it.

      I’m not sure I have actual advice. I hadn’t thought about the evolution of my own opinions before I read your post. I just thought I’d share how it might look to you a few years from now.

      • Anonymous

        I wanted to chime in since I’ve been in this situation many times with different teams.

        In one instance, I did not mind at all. I was new to the group and they were just trying to be polite.

        In another instance, it was very annoying and seemed to separate me from the group.

    • Liz

      I have a partner that regularly curses to me rather then at me while venting about something and I curse often myself. I usually just tell him I don’t care if he curses, it’s the apologizing that makes me nuts. I realize he is venting and he knows that it doesn’t offend me… I think it is just force of habit that he always says he is sorry.

    • Accountress

      Well, I’m not a big swear-er myself- I think substitutes can work just as well- but I’m not going to stop others from doing so if they prefer.

      Maybe the next time they apologize, you can say “You’re forgiven, but next time, please be more creative than *word*”?

    • Anonymous

      I once had the three other associates on my team, all of whom are male, apologize to me for discussing the graphic realities of childbirth–in a clinical and realistic, but not at all vulgar fashion–in front of me. The irony there was terrific. I pointed out immediately that I was the only one with the biological parts they were discussing, so expected I’d be the least offended. Nevertheless, once one of them apologized and noted that I was in the room, the conversation ended.

    • Trucker Mouth

      LOL, anyone who has apologized to me for swearing doesn’t really know me. A former coworker told me I have “trucker mouth”. I am very fond of using the f-bomb. Most of the technical folks (I’m in a technical position) at my office are guys, and I know they really think of me as “one of the guys” in no small part because I swear. A lot.

      Anyhow, I’d be tempted to respond with, “I don’t give a f*** what you say”, but I’ve gotten a bit brazen as I’ve gotten older. :) The right crowd will guffaw loudly, and you might even get one or two slaps on the back. Ah. Good clean fun. ;)

  7. AIMS

    Great top!
    I’m not familiar with this brand. Can anyone speak to its fit/quality?

    • Monday

      AIMS, just letting you know that although it looks like you have no replies, there are actually several reviews for you (though I personally have no experience with this brand). Scroll up and scroll down!

      • AIMS

        Thanks! The comments have been weird on this site the past few days . . . . Based on the comments, I think I am going to skip taking the chance and ordering this top.

  8. managing your peers

    Threadjack – do any of you have advice for when you’re managing your peers on a project? Most of the other people are fine and get me stuff on time etc. However, I have someone who consistently misses deadlines and then pretends expectations are unclear. How do I make this whole process less painful?

    • MaggieLizer

      No real advice, but I empathize with the frustration. I just went through something like this. I’m a first year and the only associate working on a small-ish case. We had an expedited discovery deadline and the partners told me to tap a few second and third years to help with the production since the first years were all fully engaged. Some of them were pretty snooty about “getting assignments from a first year” (I asked for their help, I did not tell them I was giving them an assignment, fwiw). A few of them slacked off and I just did (or re-did) their work rather than confront them about it. Probably not the best way to handle the situation, but hey if they don’t want the hours then I’ll take them.

      • Anon

        But re-doing someone’s work that should have been done right in the first place is not beneficial to you or the client.

    • TheOtherCoast

      I had to do this once. It was awkward because it was not just a peer, it was a friend, and this person treated my project as though it was extremely low on the priority list, even though it was a huge case with firm deadlines that others managed to adhere to. I talked to a partner not involved with the case about how to manage the situation without using names (though I’m sure it was clear who it was), and he told me that I should rest assured that stuff like that does not go unnoticed by the higher-ups. That did not make it easier. I would suggest saying something like, if you don’t have time for this I will talk to so-and-so superior about finding a replacement for you. Then do it. In the world of law, anyway, saying that you do not have time for something that you previously agreed to do is really bad, especially since you wanted on the project because of the major hours you could bill . . . when you didn’t have something more interesting to do . . . . If the deadlines are clear then there is nothing you can do to clarify them. It sounds like the person probably has a problem with you having “authority” over him or her and figures that you will be the one who ends up looking bad.

    • Duckie

      Can you give this person earlier deadlines than everyone else? I have friends who perpetually run late, so I always tell them dinner reservations are half an hour earlier than the actual time of the reservation. Then they show up on time. Seems like the same theory might apply to procrastinators.

    • Makeup Junkie

      Put EVERYTHING in email, CCing the rest of the team (and your supervisor) if that’s appropriate. Something like
      Here is our timelines for this project:
      * needs to be completed by by
      * needs to be completed by by
      If you have any questions on this assignment, please email the group.

      Doing it this way makes it more of a team effort and puts everyone on notice of what’s expected and when.
      It doesn’t always solve the problem though; in my experience, the slacker will flood your inbox asking for clarification, but that’s when you can tell them that if they’re not up to the task they’ll be replaced.

      Good luck!

      • Bonnie

        This. Put deadlines in emails so there’s no confusion and to cover yourself. You can also send out an email before the deadline asking for a status and reminding people of the dealine. Build in a cushion of a few days before the actual deadline for your review.

      • Makeup Junkie

        hmm I guess I messed up the HTML or something because I meant to post:
        Task A needs by completed by Date by Name
        Task B needs by completed by Date by Name

        but I guess you understood. Sorry for the technofail

  10. managing your peers

    Oh and to clarify – the reason I said “pretends” with the expectations is that there is a written calendar of deadlines and everyone else seems to get it just fine.

    • Makeup Junkie

      That person really needs to be called out. The group email generally embarrasses people into compliance, but if it doesn’t, at least you’ve CYAd

  12. Monday

    Belated thanks to all who recommended anti-frizz products for curls on yesterday’s morning thread. Today is ideal, in NYC, for my first product test: warm, humid, and forecast rain! Fingers crossed.

  13. Monday

    Hmm. I just thanked people for helping me out on hair products yesterday, and it’s in moderation. Not sure what word might have triggered that, but anyway, in case it doesn’t come through–thanks all!

  14. Canadian

    Early thread jack….

    It’s not a faux pas to wear black pumps with a navy suit, is it? I’m having the worst time finding any other shoe to wear with my new navy suit…I have yet to see a navy shoe that I like, and I can’t seem to find a decent heel in brown or ivory these days….

    Any insight would be greatly appreciated! Happy Friday, Corporettes!

    • Lindsey

      Black pumps with navy suit is just fine. I do it all the time. Sometimes I go with nude.

      Also, Kat, love the shirt you posted today — had to buy it.

    • PollyD

      I hate navy shoes – unless they’ve improved a lot in the last few years, I think they always look cheap. I’d recommend a nice gray or pewter or bronze with navy. Or, if you are daring, it would take a bit more work but I’ve seem some olive/navy, mustard yellow/navy, and even orange/navy pairings that I think look really good. But pewter would probably be easiest and would be very versatile.

      • kellyn

        I have to agree–I think most navy leather looks awful and cheap. Then I came across the cole haan color called india ink. IN LOVE.

        • shrink

          I agree about navy shoes … usually boring and evoke memories of nuns for this Catholic school veteran! I use red, burgundy, nude-for-me, and any grey that I can find. However, grey (which I love) seems to be almost equally nun-inspired these days. I have a B.Makowsky reptile pump that is blue and brown and that does very well with navy clothes. Good luck looking around!

      • Mondette

        I have a pair of pumps that are somewhere in between a dark grey and a navy, and I LOVE them. They are much better than the typical navy leather.

    • Nonny

      I wouldn’t worry about it. Navy shoes are hard to come by so I”ve seen a lot of people wear black, and I do myself as well, all the time. Also nude-for-me, also red, also cognac brown…..

      • lawtalkinggirl

        Cordovan shoes are meant to go with navy suits. I’ve never seen cordovan shoes for women though.

    • Bonnie

      I think the navy shoes with a navy suit look is outdated. Try a nude for you shoe instead.

    • Anon

      It’s not a faux pas (I don’t think) – I tend to wear my navy pants suits with black shoes in the winter. In the summer, I prefer nude.

    • karenpadi

      I figure that if the Marines wear navy with black patent leather shoes, so can I.

    • Kanye East

      Not at all. Brown and oxblood leather are the more traditional accompaniments to a navy suit, but I think black is absolutely fine (and IMO, better than navy).

  15. Canadian

    Sorry if this posts twice…my previous comment is in moderation…

    Is it a faux pas to wear black shoes with a true navy suit (in contrast to the cobalt top above)? I’m having the worst time finding shoes to wear with a navy suit I just purchased and it would be easiest to wear it with a pair of black pumps, but a friend of mine told me that I should only wear ivory, brown, or navy shoes with a navy suit.

    Any advice would be great! Happy Friday, Corporettes!

  16. Bridget

    I recently purchased an Asos shirt in black. Unfortunately I don’t see it on the website anymore, but it is a collared button-down. The quality is good, and the fit is very flattering. I would buy from them again.

  17. TheMightyB

    Big thanks to whoever recommended Drop Dead Diva, it’s perfect brain candy while I’m knitting.

    • Ru

      Yay, that was me. For some reason, it really excites me that so many others are enjoying the show, too. Like I made the show, lol.

    • DivaWorker

      I work on Drop Dead Diva and we are thrilled that Corporettes are fans! Thanks for the support – especially the one yesterday regarding Jane’s wardrobe. I’m not in wardrobe but I passed it on. The next season starts Sunday. Enjoy!

      • Nonny

        Cool! Glad to hear that we ‘rettes have market relevance. Come and consult us any time!

      • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

        Or if you need a focus group to preview episodes; I would gladly volunteer my time for something like that.

    • govt lawyer

      I started watching it last night and stayed up way too late!! Thanks for the recommendation!

  19. Jess

    Hi corporette peeps — awhile ago, there were recommendations for a nail spa in Chicago … and I can’t remember the name of the one that sounded super great.
    Anyone remember/have a recommendation for a great nail spot in Chicago?
    Thanks!
    Happy Friday –

      • AEK

        Yes. Love this place. Also, depending on where you are, Agora in Evanston is less expensive, not-quite-as-nice, but very comparable alternative. I took my mom (from Florida) to Spa Emilia when she visited from Florida one year, and now she visits me in Chicago for Mother’s Day every year for a pedi there! She also took my brother’s girlfriend there the day of my wedding. I love that my suburban, retired, Florida mom has “her” chi-chi nail spa in Chicago:)

    • KM

      Depending on where you’re at – I’m in Lakeview and really like Digits on Southport, which is more of a neighborhood nail salon vs. spa. They are inexpensive, quick, very clean and do a really good job. They also have really good Yelp reviews.

  20. Mir

    (repost; I think my connection died before it went through?)

    I really like this top, but am I alone in thinking the styling on the model is weird? Pleated top with pleated skirt looks very awkward to me. That said, the blue is pretty, and it would look great with a pencil skirt or flat-front pants… though I’m leery of the quality because I’ve seen negative comments about this brand on this blog before, I might have to give it a try.

  21. A. L.

    Question about tipping at hair salons–

    For the last ~5 years, I’ve gone to the same person who had an independent suite in a rent-your-chair type building. She charged $105 for color and cut, and $35 for cut only. She did everything herself (ie no assistant to shampoo).

    I just moved to a new city and made an appointment at a salon that has a separate stylists and colorists, and the website also lists assistants so I’m guessing there might be a third person doing the shampoo. Haircuts range from $55-100 based on stylist’s expertise (my appt is with a junior stylist). Color is priced individually, but online reviews suggest it will be about $100.

    How do I tip at a salon like this? I’m wondering both how much is appropriate and how I direct it–will they split it, or do I need to direct who gets what? Do I direct between stylist and colorist and they share with shampoo assistant? My previous stylist was independent so I believe tipping was not required (though I always gave $10-20), so I’m not sure what’s appropriate for services in that price range.

    Thanks for any input! Happy Friday :)

    • Duckie

      Normally you put your tip in a little envelope at the cashier, write your stylist’s name on it, and drop it in the tip box or jar for her to get later. So you’d need to have separate envelopes for the shampoo assistant, stylist, and colorist. I usually tip around 15% for the stylist and colorist, and a couple dollars for the shampoo assistant.

    • NYC

      I think tip seperately. I tip my stylist and her assistant (who hands her each and every foil and washes my hair). I give the asst 25% of what I give the stylist.

      Tipping at salons is sooooo confusing to me.

    • A. L.

      Thanks for the replies. I never carry cash, so you’ve made me realize that I probably need to swing by an ATM beforehand so I have some for the envelopes.

      And maybe then I can finally order myself Jimmy John’s for lunch without having to dig through moving boxes to find my dusty, never-used checkbook :)

    • mamabear

      I get my hair done at a downtown urban salon. There are shampoo assistants and even blow drying assistants sometimes. I just leave one tip (usually 20%) for my stylist and assume he’ll share with the assistants.

      By the way, although I usually put the bill on my credit card, I do make sure I have cash for the tip. They MUCH prefer cash.

      • Anon

        On a similar note, I am confused about the concept of tipping many, many people who it is now considered necessary to tip. I tip them all b/c it seems you are supposed to, but i just dont get way. I understand servers/bartenders etc — you are paying for the food/drink and tipping for the service. But most of the other people you tip — such as for hair, nails, cleaning services, cab drivers, movers etc — you are paying for their SERVICES and then tipping for their SERVICES. This just doesnt make sense to me. can anyone explain.

        • Anna D.

          Well, as I understand it, when you pay the stylist for your cut etc., you’re actually paying the salon owner. So in theory, if the salon owner is your stylist, it’s not technically necessary to tip them (though I’d imagine most people do because it’s so ingrained). But if your stylist isn’t the owner, a lot of what you pay your stylist is actually goes to the owner for the cost of the overhead and the rent for the chair and so on. So, you’re paying for the chair/shampoo/products/scissors etc., and tipping for the service. Ditto for cab drivers – unless they’re gypsy cabs, they work for a company, and most of your money is going to the company. You pay for the use of the cab, and you tip the driver for their service. Same for cleaners with a cleaning service (if you hire a cleaner directly, outside of a service company, there would be no need to tip).

        • messi

          In many instances, you are paying the company that the hairdresser, manicurist, cab driver works for, and the actual person servicing you is making a flat wage, usually a rather small one. Therefore you tip the individual for the service.

          • Anon

            I get these responses, but they are not entirely accurate. Im paying for getting my hair cut (or a cab ride, or house clean etc). that some of that money goes to support overhead is true, but thats factored in to the cost of the service. The only thing the consumer cares about in any of these examples is the service. indeed, there would be no business without the service — a cab that doesnt drive people anywhere doesnt make any money.

          • A

            I think you just accept that in the US tips are assumed and those being tipped are making LESS of a salary b/c of it. You can either like this system, or prefer the system in other countries where service providers are tipped less (or not at all) but paid more of a base salary, but you can’t change that your stylist etc. is being paid assuming she/he will get tipped. Not tipping the person doesn’t change the system, it just reflects badly on you (unless you get really bad service).

        • Duckie

          A good rule of thumb is that you tip personal service providers, i.e. people who do something for you personally. What you pay for the service goes to their employer and they get a set cut of it. Technically if the person providing the service for you is the owner you don’t have to tip.

  22. Mir

    The salon I’ve gone to recently is a similar price point and has assistants that do the shampoo (and an amazing scalp massage) , plus stylists, plus colorists. They have envelopes at the front desk for you to leave separate tips for each — make sure you catch theirs names so you don’t have to ask the people at the desk! I usually tip the shampooer $3-5, then about 10-20% of the price of the service for anyone else, depending on how satisfied I am with the results.

  23. Anon

    Thanks! I like the sleeve detailing. I ordered it in bage with the origami pencil skirt in the pink color.

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