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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Shaker-Stitch Cardigan

dark green cardigan with 4 buttons; a matching V-neck tank shell is beneath it

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

The unofficial end of summer is upon us, and I’m ready for some chunky knits. This cardigan from Old Navy is a perfect “office sweater” (you know, the one you keep on the back of your chair that feels cozy on a chilly day or late night, but still looks presentable). I love this “emerald isle” color, although the black is probably a safer option.

The sweater is $44.99 at Old Navy and comes in sizes XS-4X. If you’re looking for a matching set, there’s also a tank top.

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Sales of note for 12.5

195 Comments

  1. I love this color & it’s 30% off at checkout with the sale going on now. I may actually need to buy this.

    2. This is one of my favorite colors for fall/winter, and lots of retailers have it right now. I am stocking up while I can!

    3. I bought last season’s version of this sweater and it was a workhorse until I put it through the dryer. It was 100% cotton. Whoops. This season’s has wool which I imagine is higher quality overall, but alas not for my skin.

  2. I have a lead role in a COO, a lot of what I do is critical to the firm but invisible. I was told by my boss when I was being recruited that my role had the platform to make it to the next level rank (most senior in the company) and have been totally dedicated to it for a year. Last week, my boss told me that’s not the case. Boss acted like nbd and also said boss hadn’t told her boss or boss boss that I wanted next level. Boss rrecruited me from last team with this promise as last mamager was not makimg motions to promote despite promises. Boss is very aggressive to the point of makimg people feel like crap in front of others,
    all levels. I’m often blocked from visibility to the more senior /c level team by being told that there’s no reason I have to meet with them.

    I’m disappointed and thinking of just leaving a firm where I’m well known and liked but underpaid to market as I’m not being respected by mgmt.

    I realize I own my career and happy to take action. feeling at a loss as I feel my confidence has been undermined for 2 years.

    1. Trust your instincts. This isn’t a healthy dynamic or workplace. Even if you start over elsewhere in terms of time toward promo, there will be better pay and more opportunity to learn.

    2. I’m a little confused – you would be the most senior person in the company, but your boss has other bosses?

    3. I’m sorry your boss sounds terrible! Let’s see – you’re underpaid, you’ve been strung along, you’ve been gaslighted, and your boss makes people feel awful. Please look for a new job, you deserve better.

    6. That’s a bad boss. If you can’t get a new one at your current company, leave.

    7. You’re right that you need support from the c-suite and next level up to move up, but attending meetings isn’t the only way to achieve that. Have you networked on your own? Makes yourself a trusted colleague regardless of your boss? I’ve worked around a number of blocker bosses and it’s a bit more work but they exist everywhere. And if you already have political capital, have you leveraged it?

    8. I left a firm after a similar promise about a promotion was broken. In fact I decided to leave during the lunch at which my boss told me he was breaking the express promise he’d used to recruit me. No regrets.

  3. Has anyone bought anything from FrenchMauve and can comment on quality and sizing compared to AnnTaylor / BR?

    1. I haven’t but what is up with the new store/brand names? Evereve, FrenchMauve… there is something very odd about them that I can’t put my finger on. Like AI chose the name on a weird algorithm or something.

      1. I bet you’re right. It’s probably all like one giant company that just had a bazillion brands optimized to the Instagram algorithm.

  4. Good morning, hive. I would like to be better about participating in meal trains when someone dies or has a baby, so I’m looking for recipes that are good to drop off to people in those situations. I don’t have many friends with dietary restrictions, so I’m basically looking for recipes that travel and reheat well, feed a family, are reasonably healthy, and tasty. Any recommendations? I live alone so I tend to make high-effort recipes that produce no more than three servings – basically the opposite of what I need in these situations.

    A friend of mine just lost one of her 10-day old twins, so I’m determined to do better with meals for her family since I can’t fix this terrible situation. Thank you in advance.

    1. I’m so sorry for your friend’s loss. I’d look at the following:
      -America’s Test Kitchen’s cookbook called “The Make-Ahead Cook” (not The Complete Make-Ahead Cookbook, they’re different and I find the one much more useful in the way it’s structured)
      -Pinch of Yum’s freezer meal category
      -Molly Yeh’s baby meal prep page: https://mynameisyeh.com/mynameisyeh/2019/3/baby-meal-prep-guide
      -This article from the Kitchn: https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-stock-a-freezer-23060402

    3. This is so kind of you. I am so sorry for your friend’s loss. When I think of a meal train, I think of casseroles (ex. tatter tot hotdish, homemade macaroni and cheese, etc. ) and most importantly in pans that do not need to be returned (aka those aluminum pans you see at the grocery store or in a thrifted dish).
      I recently have had a ton of tomatoes and basil out of my garden. So I’ve been making and freezing a lot of Ina Garden’s Roasted Tomato Basil Soup. I’m hoping I’ll get some mileage in scenarios like this. Where I can drop it off and they can pop it in the freezer to have on hand for a back-up meal.

      2. While these meals don’t need to be the Pinnacle of Health, I think one can do a little bit better than a tater tot casserole. Fried carbs for dinner.

    4. Naptime Kitchen’s creamy green enchiladas/enchilada bowls are really good for this. She’s on instagram.

      This is very kind of you to take on. I’m very sorry for your friend’s devastating loss.

    6. My go to for meal trains is usually crockpot chicken – throw in a package of chicken breasts, garlic, corn, black beans, and a jar of salsa, add some rice towards the end and shred together. Put all of that into a disposable pan and deliver along with bags of tortillas, lettuce, cheese, a tub of sour cream, and any other toppings. My second favorite option is a pan of some entree picked up from a local catering company or the grocery store deli, plus a bagged salad and some rolls. It doesn’t have to be homemade. The goal is to eliminate stress, so it should be something without extreme flavors or unfamiliar ingredients that gives them one or more complete meals, doesn’t require additional sides to be made by the family or fussy reheating, and definitely doesn’t require them to return any dishes. It’s nice of you to be thinking of what would be helpful!

    7. Oh that is terrible. If there are older children, I would err on the side of things that can be broken into components easily. So, grilled chicken breasts and precooked rice that can easily be reheated. Bag of salad for adults, cut up fruit/berries. Taco bar is another good option. Breakfast ( like cinnamon rolls) would probably be appreciated too.

      1. +1 to this. My siblings wouldn’t eat anything with mixed ingredients until they were teenagers. Casseroles are the common recommendation for this situation, but lots of young children won’t eat them.

        1. Agree. I like the cinnamon roll idea, but if they’re into healthier food, I also like muffins. They work for breakfast, snacks, or can be frozen for later.

      3. While I like the idea of breakfast foods for dinner, I’m not sure one would need a meal train for breakfast. For a family going through a rough time, cereal and milk does the trick. I feel like a hot cooked breakfast is a special treat / restaurant meal, not something on an everyday basis.

    8. My go-to’s:
      -Pasta bakes (baked ziti, chicken parm bake, lasagna, etc.)
      – Pies (Chicken Pot Pie, quiche)
      – Soups and stews

      My favorites are Smitten Kitchen’s mushroom marsala bake, a simple chicken pot pie, and a chicken, potato, and kale soup.

      I always also bring a salad and a dessert.

    10. Taco salad/burrito bowl/enchiladas are my go to with lots of sides. It prioritizes a fresh option that can be dressed up/down to preference. I also send a combo of chopped up fruit and some fruit that can sit on the counter for awhile (apples/bananas/clementines).

      When I don’t have time to make a meal, I hit up the prepared area of the grocery store and drop that off.

      If even less time, I’ll order prepped food from
      Costco on Instacart and have them deliver. Mac n cheese, BBQ chicken legs, applesauce packets and a pumpkin pie are my defaults. This also works for out of town meal trains you want to contribute to.

      As someone who was been blessed by a meal train, your effort is so, so appreciated.

      1. +1 to all of this. I think 90 families collaborated to feed us and keep our driveway clear when I was in chemo. And everyone adored the taco salad/ burrito bowl/ enchiladas.

        I’m so sorry for your friend’s loss. My heart breaks for her.

    11. These days, I send the Costco chicken pot pie and one of their fresh salads.

      If I make something, it is lasagna/baked ziti. Something like that freezes well too. And I provide all detailed instructions for re-heating

    12. Omg that is so sad. I’m a mother of twins and can’t imagine how I’d feel if that had happened. Baked ziti is easy to make. Or quiche. Skinny taste has a good recipe, but also some home made muffins, and cut up fruit would’ve been great postpartum.

    13. Oh, how awful for your friend.

      One of my favorites is to cook up a bunch of taco meat and provide all the fixings (tortilla shells, veggies, toppings). If they can’t eat it right away, no big deal.

      Also, don’t feel like you have to reinvent the wheel here. When my FIL died from Covid, several people brought over various entrees from Costco and/or our local grocery store. It was such a blessing; we did not care that they were store-bought, we just needed to eat.

    14. Lots of good suggestions already listed. I’d also recommend some lighter, snacky type things as well. The adults may not have an appetite with the grief and kids always want snacks. Maybe a nice fruit tray, veggie tray, or a cold cut type board with cheese, crackers, deli meat etc. Since a lot of people will bring hearty dinner meals, maybe some lunch items as well? You could do a tray with deli meat, sandwich rolls, pickles, olives, etc with a bag of chips and a bottle of lemonade for a lunch. Maybe a nice dinner salad for the parents with a grilled chicken and homemade dressing? I’d also grab a big pack of paper plates and plastic cups. This is not the time in life to deal with more dishes than necessary.

    15. Bless you for being there for your friend.

      My current go-to meal for people in need:
      A large fillet of salmon (1.5 pounds) baked with butter, sliced lemons and dill on top (pretty!)
      A bowl of homemade French potato salad
      Steamed broccoli or asparagus
      Fruit salad for dessert

      All the components are fine at room temp. Or can be reheated.

    16. A lot of meal trains are big tray foods, so I like to do the opposite: individually frozen soups and stews. That way, when just one person needs food, it’s ready. Buy a flat of widemouth mason jars. Then make and fill.

      Lentil soup, pea soup, and butternut squash soup are great options.

      I’m so sorry for your friend’s loss.

    17. Not quite what you’d asked for but I’d also suggest tossing in a few snack-things + things that can be picked at for when sitting down to a real meal isn’t in the cards. I lost my mother earlier this year, and I ended up picking at food at weird times for a few weeks after since I just didn’t have the energy to think about heating something up+ actually eating. Having simple things I could eat with no effort really made a difference.

      Things like a fruit salads or easy peel clementines, muffins/cookies/carby baked goods, vegetable sticks and hummus, granola bars, packaged smoothies/juices, yogurt cups etc.

    18. Thank you all for the great suggestions! I’ll be making a couple of these over the weekend.

  5. Does anyone else get to this point in an expensive week and think you might as well spend even more money?
    Harry Styles tickets for next year were the cherry on top… I need to lock my cards in the freezer!

    1. Yup. My kiddo needs new uniforms, which of course rarely go onsale because the retailers know you need them! I’m not looking forward to my next month’s statement after having to buy 2 pairs of kids shoes, sports equipment, clothing, socks/undies and then the sweaters/jeans I bought for my own back to work fall wardrobe.

      1. Ugh, the worst. I bought the polos when they were weirdly half off in the spring, but the scam that is school shoes (all black, no logos, never go in sale) infuriates me.

    3. I had a similar week. And I truly did say “F it” and ordered everything that I’ve been putting off. I bought last minute tickets to 2 Broadway shows that are closing for me and my son. Then it was all new undies, and I’ve been wanting to try some things from Yitty, and I might as well order new throw pillows from West Elm because I have a $40 off coupon, and 3 new pairs of shoes to replace warn out ones, etc. My purchasing was a manic as my run on sentence!

      1. This is what I’m seeing happening! The only thing I’m holding off on is an M&S order for autumn clothing, because I fairly regularly get ‘20% off X’ offers through so I’m going to restrain myself

      2. Is one of the shows Come From Away? Because if so you are going to love it – I saw it in July and continue to be obsessed

        1. Yes! We saw Dear Evan Hansen and walked right across the street and bought tickets for 2 days later for Come From Away. I’m so happy I did!

        2. I saw this not too long ago and it was AMAZING. I had the soundtrack stuck in my head for a month.

    4. Ha, my husband came into the bathroom this morning with his phone and said, “We’ve already spent $120 today!” My gym membership and the dog’s allergy meds had both been charged to our cards overnight. I said, “Bad news – I have to get gas before work!”

    5. Hah, definitely this week! We just signed paperwork to get solar panels installed which led to adding $2k of upgrades that need to be done to our electrical panel.

      1. Ugh, our 15 yr old a/c units are slowly dying and the quotes we got for full replacements are eye-wateringly high. We know we have to bite the bullet eventually but we are NOT looking forward to it. Yay homeownership….

    6. I just started grad school and have had a BUNCH of one-time purchases. That combined with the fact that the university is dragging a** on disbursing my stipend has me dreading my statement this month. I have savings but wasn’t planning on dipping in right out of the gate.

    7. We are doing a total house renovation and at this point money feels all meaningless. It is the weirdest financial experience I’ve ever had in my life.

  6. A combination of increasing work travel, the “back to school shopping” feeling I can never shake this fine of year, and Labor Day sales has be shopping for a fresh work tote for use during client visits. Please, share your favorites/advice.

    Budget is flexible. I’d love $300, but would accept up to $800 for better functionality and fashion. (I’m hoping to convey well-put together boss lady vibes, which is hard when you’re schlepping a lot of stuff.) I would like the option to wear it as a cross-body when it’s quite heavy. I need it to accommodate a 15 in laptop, redwells, mouse, wallet, iPad, and occasional binder. It will get pretty stuffed :) I would prefer the tote to have some sort of top closure, be it a zipper or clasp, but likely will only use that feature at the airport. Some internal organization, so I’m not always hunting for my passport and AirPods, would also be excellent. A way to secure it to a roller bag would be great, but isn’t necessary. Finally, this won’t be my day to day bag – I prefer a backpack for that purpose – but is just for use on the road when it’s more convenient to have this in tote form.

    1. At this price point I’d probably look at Lo & Sons, Dagne Dover, Mark & Graham, or Cuyana. If I was buying new I’d probably go with the Cuyana System tote. I have (and use) an older version of the Lo and Sons Seville and the Dange Dover signature and the (older) Charlie tote. The Lo and Sons takes a beating and is my primary ‘schlep it on planes/trains/subways’ bag. The Charlie tote was (is) very sturdy is is also just VERY heavy. Most of the mid-level women in my firm use Lo & Sons or the Madewell Transport tote (or what looks like it). The senior level women seem to default to a Neverful, Goyard or the Prada Saffiano tote. I am WAY too hard on my work bags to spend over $1k on one but I admire the pretty bags of those more careful than I am!

    2. Boss ladies don’t schlep like a Sherpa. But a lo and sons is about it if you want cross body laptop and luggage sleeve

      1. +1 There is no sleek option that holds redwells and a binder on top of your laptop. IME, once you have paper files and equipment, it’s time for a rolling briefcase. That’s what lawyers take into court and it reads professional because it is in fact necessary for work.

        Boss ladies don’t schlep because they have a junior colleague or assistant who is the one toting materials and they get extra nights at hotels to leave their baggage someplace secure. If you don’t have a junior colleague and you can’t pair down what you are bringing on site, then you have to let go of sleek and aim for professional.

      3. Fair. I’m at the midpoint, where I still need a laptop/binders at meetings not just my presence, am not the kind of senior to delegate someone else to bring things, but also want to dress for the job I want.

    3. It doesn’t have a cross body option but I love my TUMI voyageur tote. It’s lightweight, has a light colored interior with perfectly sized compartments, and can attach to your roller bag. I actually prefer the magnetic top so it doesn’t make that zipping sound when I reach into my bag to grab things during a meeting. The shoulder strap is thick enough that’s it comfortable to carry when you’re stuffing it Mary Poppins style. I look young and the bag helps me feel like a grownup when I travel to client sites.

      1. Not OP, but if only I could stuff it Mary Poppins style – it would still shut and look sleek, and then an entire lamp would issue forth from it!

    4. I’m still obsessed with my Lo & Sons Seville after about five years of use, and it’s holding up great. Checks every box you mentioned except that it wouldn’t work cross-body (although I doubt most 15-in laptop bags would be comfortable to wear that way). I get compliments on it from women at work I consider very stylish. Love the interchangeable shells if you’re into options, and the nylon travel shell with luggage sleeve is awesome.

      1. This is my go to after 4 years also. I have the prima shell so it’s Nappa & Saffiano Leather, and switch to the nylon travel shell for plane travel. But I also got tired of carrying so much on my shoulders so now I alternate with the lo & sons Rowledge backpack for daily office use and the Seville for client/court.

    5. I have a Cuyana trapeze tote I like a lot. Not the most convenient to attach to a carry-on, but works if you keep the cross body handle. A little heavy (bc structured leather) but looks sleek and stores a good amount of stuff, with a magnet clasp and pockets for phones, passports, etc.

    7. I have a MZ Wallace Bedford that I think fits this description. Its enormous. I used to take it with a rolling litigation bag to depositions when I had more than would fit in the rolling bag. It would hold my laptop, a notepad, 1-2 redwells and a small binder, and a water bottle and my phone and chargers and it zipped. I think it has been discontinued but its very similar to the Tumi Voyageur so that’s what I’d get.

    8. I honestly don’t think it’s possible for a bag to convey boss lady vibes with this amount of stuff. I think you can get a great looking bag for laptop, mouse, wallet, ipad. But then once you start trying to shove a redweld and binder in it’s going to get overstuffed or the bag will need to be so big it won’t look sleek and nice. I also think a crossbody strap detracts from a nice look. If I were you, I’d get something like the cuyana system tote and then shove the redwelds and binders in a very basic black nylon bag if you happen to have them. I actually keep a black reusable baggu in my tote for this.

    9. Not quite big enough for the OP, but for anyone else who is following this thread and has a smaller laptop: I have been impressed with my Knomo Hanover laptop briefcase. Roomy, sensible compartments, professional looking, lightweight. I’ve had it for almost five years — so let’s say three years, to subtract for two working-from-home Covid years — and it still looks new.

    10. I have no idea if this is helpful, but when I travel with this kind of stuff, I put everything I’m not using on the plane in my suitcase. That includes mouse, binders, redwells, notepads, and sometimes my laptop charger if it’s a short trip.

  7. Need a movie recs for family movie night tonight!
    It’s my turn to pick the movie and I’m kind of coming up blank on what I want to watch. Kids are 10, 5, and 3. We’ve been doing a lot of the Marvel / Star Wars movies and I’m ready for something different. Recent favorite for me:
    Akeelah and the Bee
    Enchanted
    Sneakeralla
    In The Heights
    Greatest Showman
    Come from Away
    Pick of the Litter
    While You Were Sleeping

    So I guess… rom com (but not with people behaving inanely), musical, or heartwarming dramas or comedies. Preferably not animated. Pretty costumes a plus. I don’t mind swearing or kissing. No blood or violence.
    What have you been enjoying lately?

      1. Love, love, love Secondhand Lions. Would also recommend getting into the older musicals – Sound of Music, Mary Poppins (slightly animated), Meet Me In St. Louis, Singin’ in the Rain (there might be a few terms in this one that haven’t aged well, tread with care).

        Also, if you can find it – I adore The Court Jester. I’m not sure it was ever that popular, but my grandma loved it and watched it with all of her grandkids. Hilarious, wholesome, appealing to both kids and grownups and extremely well done. My family is still finding new things to laugh about when we watch it.

        1. +1 to Sound of Music and Mary Poppins. I also liked Bedknobs and Broomsticks as a kid and still enjoyed it on a recent rewatch.

    3. Both Paddington movies are great and kept everyone, inc. my 4 year old, entertained. They are also very fun visually.

      1. Oh I love that movie so much! What about Hairspray? We loved Footloose, but there is a little violence.

      2. SO GOOD. Oh man I might watch that today.
        I know it’s animated, but The Emperor’s New Groove is highly entertaining.

      3. Yeees. Husband is out tonight and I have no plans, may have to rewatch this one. It’s been a while.

      4. Ever After!!! Such a good movie! We have definitely watched this many times, but I had forgotten. Maybe tonight will be a re-watch…

    5. I know you said not animated, but Kiki’s Delivery Service and The Secret World of Arietty were huge favorites when my kids were that age.

      1. Agree with these plus My Neighbor Totoro. Non-animated suggestion is The Princess Bride

        1. I love The Princess Bride so so much. It contains all of the unrealistic notions about true love that I want my kids to have (as opposed to Titanic, which is the wooooorst).

    6. Zombies, descendants for the kids.

      My kids (3.5/5/8 at the time) loved Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Mary Poppins, Wizard of Oz, Bedknobs and Broomsticks.

      Princess bride, freaky Friday (with Lindsay Lohan), parent trap (also LiLo), mighty ducks, cool running.

      Animated but awesome: 1960s Sword In the Stone, Robin Hood.

      1. Oops somebody beat me to it. Okay, how about older Julie Andrews? Princess Diaries?

    8. It’s been a long time since I’ve watched a lot of these, so I may be forgetting blood/violence, but just looking at my DVD shelf: George of the Jungle, Ever After, the Princess DIaries

    9. I don’t have kids, so not sure if these are appropriate for all ages:

      Indiana Jones series
      Shrek – I like 1-3 the best
      Lost City
      National Treasure
      Clueless
      She’s All That
      10 Things I Hate About You
      Never Been Kissed

      1. The Rookie and Miracle are my favorite sports movies. Very family-friendly. My husband also loves Hoosiers and Rudy but I found those boring.

    12. Yellow Submarine *
      Fly Away Home
      Ella Enchanted
      Big Fat Liar (I think it was called – Frankie Muniz and Paul Giammati)
      The Blues Brothers – Fabulous music and lots of action (a truly insane car chase), but a little violence, when Carrie Fisher keeps trying to kill Jake

      *When our kid was about 4 or 5, we watched Yellow Submarine and told them, this is so exciting, it’s your first movie that was made for grownups! So they want to daycare the next day and told the teacher they saw “an adult movie.” Fortunately, I was standing there and could make the correction quickly.

      1. LOL!
        My Husband Loves Blues Brothers! He watches it all the time with the kids. I always tolerated it but never made it all the way through. But one day I did and realized that it is a pretty terrific movie, but the payoff is at the end.

        1. My ex-H will watch it every single time it shows up on TV. It’s fun (and I really do love all of the performances) but I think the true devotees are mostly guys.

    13. Jumanji and Jumanji 2
      Night at the Museum
      The Sandlot or Rookie of the Year for a baseball movie
      Disney Descendants
      The Princess Diaries

    14. To sir, with love
      Roman Holiday
      Sound of music
      Sleepless in seattle
      To all the boys I’ve loved before
      Lion king …the original one
      When Harry met sally….depends on kids ages

  8. Seeking advice on how to stay sane during a busy week in person. My calendar is unusually packed these days with back-to-back calls that start early in the morning before I usually wake up. I’m already burned out doing this from home but next week I have to be in the office for Reasons. What tips do you have to help me survive this? So far I’ve thought of laying out my entire outfit the night before, bringing microwavable oatmeal with fruit and nuts so I can quickly make a reasonably healthy lunch, and identifying healthy-ish dinner takeout options in advance. I arranged to take my earliest calls via phone only so I can multi task during my commute. What else can I do to make my life easier?

    1. My longstanding habit is to do everything the night before because my priority is getting as much sleep as I can. Pack my lunch, lay out my outfit, pack my bag, and shower at night. All l I have to do in the morning is roll out of bed, get dressed, and head into work. I have my breakfast and caffeine at the office.

    2. I am emphatically not a morning person. When I need to get into the office that usually means being on a 6:15 train (ugh) so EVERYTHING needs to be prepped and ready the night before. Work bag, shoes, keys, phone, headphones should all be together for you to grab as you walk out along with anything else you bring (lunch? water bottle?). Outfit laid out the night before including underwear and accesories. Order groceries for delivery including some heat and eat options – Whole Foods has great soups that are 2 servings – those with a roll and part of a bagged salad = healthy dinner. Or grab bagged salads and some trader joes things you can pop in the oven. On days like that I have a hard time working out so I try to build in lots of walks and a 10-minute yoga and bodyweight routine (I like 10 minutes of barre or abs and then 10 minutes of ‘bedtime’ yoga). Good luck!!

      1. Soup is great for lunch when you have to be on the phone all day because you can drink them from a cup if need be.

    3. I take a shower the night before and wash my hair etc. so that I can either oversleep or just shower quicker in the morning. Yes, to outfit night before. Also, automate breakfast and lunch. I like Greek yogurt and a banana for breakfast and will leave a few TJ frozen meals (I like the Indian ones, personally) in my fridge at work. Also – if you drink coffee, prep everything you need night before.

    4. Take out takes way too long where I live, so I either meal prep or have frozen or premade stuff from Trader Joe’s ready to go.

      1. I remember leaving work at 11pm once, have not eaten since like 9:30am and having to wait like an hour for my food to be delivered. I almost cried lol.

      2. Set a calendar reminder at the beginning of a call to order your take out and then by the time your call is over it will have shown up. I do this on the nights I have meetings.

      3. +1 to frozen Trader Joes meals for days like this. Stock up, keep them in your home and work freezers, and you’re good to go. Also, I drink a lot of water to stay hydrated and feel healthy-ish.

    5. Once upon a time I would work 5:30 AM – 9:30 PM with a 30 min commute 6-7 days a week for 2-3 weeks straight, a day or two to reset and then begin the cycle again.

      Identify when you’ll do laundry and how long you can go between doing it again. Make sure you have enough outfits for the week, and I’d recommend laying them all out before the week starts. I also would wear the same shoes, jewelry, etc for the whole week so you’re not wasting time looking for things.

      It sounds crazy but try to be as healthy as possible for as long as you can. Healthy meals as often as possible, a short exercise break, drinking water, stretching. I used to pack yogurt/coffee for breakfast, a bagged salad + chicken for lunch, fruit for a snack and takeout dinner. Healthy takeout ideas can include sushi, Mediterranean, salads, etc, depending on what you order. On really hectic days when I couldn’t pack lunch, i had a rule that over the course of the day I had to have just one vegetable. I also like things like those applesauce pouches for toddlers for a quick on-the-go but healthy snack. I would also get up very early and do a 15 min peloton or strength workout and stretch before hopping in the shower.

      Pack good snacks! I’m an emotional eater and knew I’d want fun snacks at work so I would get all of my favorites that I normally don’t get.

      Sleep! If you can just turn your phone off after work (I could not), do it! And don’t feel obligated to check after hours, on the one day off, etc.

      When you get a day off, don’t just spend it on the couch. It never helped me recover. I’d get my nails done, read a fun book, take a walk, grab drinks with a friend instead.

      Figure out a way to streamline things like your morning routine or cleaning your house. Just do the bare minimum. I wore my hair in a ponytail and did super basic skincare and makeup and definitely stretched how often I did chores and errands.

      Make sure you have someone you can vent to!

      1. Also if anyone is wondering why there’s been mass exodus from public health jobs, this schedule on a 55k salary was why!

        1. Oh that’s awful. In early 2020 I was trying to get out of my firm and was super excited about a job with our state health department. I interviewed the day our state had its first Covid case. They offered me the job a few weeks later, by which time daycare was closed and we were all working from home. Needless to say, I declined and stayed with my firm through Covid because of the flexibility. I can’t even imagine what it would have been like, and I totally dodged a bullet – if the timetable had been a month earlier I would have taken the job.

    6. Today is my last day of a week like this and the thing that helped me most was packing everything the night before (purse, laptop bag, lunchbox fully packed and stashed in the fridge).

    7. I think planning and outsourcing as much as possible depending on your budget. Have someone clean your home, send out laundry if that’s an option, I’d actually plan my all my outfits for the week on Sunday and line them up in my closet. Prepare meals and snacks on Sunday for M-T and then maybe take out on Friday.

  9. I could use some advice. Recently, an old friend has been trying to rekindle a friendship. The background is that we used to be incredibly close friends, went to the same middle and high schools, etc. But after she got married about 10 years ago, she completely dropped the friendship despite many attempts by me to keep it alive over the next several years (even little things like my sending baby gifts). She had moved to a different city which partly explained it but I think it was mostly due to her feeling awkward about being married while I was still single (mind you, we were early 20s, so I was by no means old).

    She wouldn’t bother to tell me when she was visiting home city and the clincher came when she actually moved back permanently to the city about 5-6 years ago but didn’t bother telling me – I only discovered it because I bumped into her in person. After that, I stopped trying because frankly, it hurt a lot and she apparently had zero desire to have me in her life at all (even with just texts). I have been blessed with many good friends and family and figured this was just what happens to some friendships as people grow older, I didn’t “need” her friendship.

    Since she now lives in our old community (which I recently moved away from), she is occasionally bumping into mutual friends and family members of mine and they will give her random updates on my life. So over the last few years, I’ve gotten a few texts out of the blue from her commenting/asking on different things she heard about me. I generally just briefly responded but didn’t offer anything more. When COVID first started, her dad died and I did reach out via phone call to offer my condolences. It was a very awkward conversation because we truly have no common ground anymore and are literal strangers now.

    However, she recently decided for whatever reason that she really wanted to try to rekindle the friendship and for the last few weeks, has been texting frequently (which I again, only respond to very delayed and brief answers). Just last night, she expressed a desire to be in touch again and for the first time, offered a semi-apology for having dropped the friendship (saying I’m sorry we lost touch and didn’t make a point to try to keep in touch…so basically ignoring the fact that it was all one sided, that she was the one who had ignored multiple overtures from me).

    Quite honestly, there is little incentive/desire on my part to have her in my life at all again. I lead a very full and sometimes insanely exhausting life and when I think or hear from her, it always brings a twinge of hurt. But also, I have other people I’d rather be spending my little precious time/energy on..not someone who can’t even offer a full apology.

    So I don’t know how to respond to this last message…I get she was more immature back then but that doesn’t change anything at this point. What do I do, ignore her? I have no desire to hear from or see her again but the problem is she is in my old community (so constantly bumping into my mom etc) and I actually do plan on moving back there myself pretty soon. I also have no desire to hurt her. I just don’t want to have anything to do with her like has been the case for the last decade.

    1. You can either accept that friendships can have distant periods and value people who’ve known you for a long time, or you can hold life against them. Sounds like you’re in the latter camp. It’s really up to you but I just don’t get that perspective. Holding grudges like that is a lot of mental energy. Personally, I’ve found great value and delight in reconnecting with old friends at later life stages.

      1. I’ve realized, over time, that so many friendships go through ebbs and flows like that. It isn’t always fun in the moment, but adult life and friendships are just … different. Sadly, keeping up with people gets hard once full time jobs, kids, and other responsibilities take over.

      3. +2. I would be inclined to give this friendship another chance, especially since you are planning to move back to the area soon.

      5. Yup. One of my current best friends is somebody from high school but we were out of touch for — what? 20 years or more? 30? If I had permanently written her off I’d have missed out on a great later-in-life friendship.

      6. +4, I would be over the moon if this happened with one of my former friends who dropped me. I still think about and miss some of them. Like the quote goes – “the older you get, the more you need people who knew you when you were young.”

      7. Agree! OP’s attitude seems immature and shortsighted. Friendships ebb and flow. Your life may be full now in your current location but you may need more friends once you move back. And she could be a good source of insight about reintegrating back into your hometown community. Don’t hold someone’s behavior from their early 20s against them forever. Exhausting to keep score like that. You can never have too many friends – each friendship is unique. Some friends you see or speak to more than others, and that’s OK. But I often find that the childhood friends you barely see anymore are the ones who you can rely on decades later, more so than the newer ones you see weekly.

      8. I don’t think I would call this hesitancy holding a grudge. This person truly hurt you. You can move forward, but IMO only after you have communicated how much you were hurt. If you don’t do this, or if you do and she doesn’t acknowledge that, if not outright apologizing, I think it would be hard to be friends because the past pain will get in the way.

    2. Would you feel comfortable saying something along the lines of, “I don’t have a lot of room in my life that allows adding further to my social calendar, but I appreciate you reaching out and the apology”? You’re certainly not required to become friends again just because she’s asking now. I wouldn’t necessarily mention your hurt feelings, because that would potentially make her think that if she apologizes more she’ll have an in. But if you want to be somewhat frank while dismissive you could also say, “I don’t want to hurt you but it wouldn’t be fair to overpromise when I don’t feel confident I can deliver on a full friendship right now.”

      1. Hard cringe at your suggested wording about not having room in the social calendar… what does that even mean? You can’t meet any new friends or do new things? Don’t do this. This is passive and dishonest.

    3. I would just move on and stop responding she’ll get the hint eventually. I had a few friends like this, once they thought they ‘surpassed’ me in life stages they were unresponsive. Then as soon as I had a shiny house and DH they all wanted to rekindle? No thanks.

      1. THIS. I am done with people who only want to be around me when my life is appropriate for them. That’s not friendship.

    4. I’m kind of surprised you’re getting all these comments telling you to let it go, but maybe I’m more of a grudgey person than I thought.

      I wouldn’t try to be friends with her again without having an honest conversation about how she hurt you (the resentment will just ruin it otherwise). And regardless, I’d let your busy life keep you busy for a while until you can feel a bit more used to having her around again, whether as the friends you were or something different.

        1. I’d be inclined to give ex-friend another chance, but I don’t understand this comment as nobody on the thread has included their ages. We don’t know that everyone posting above is older than Vicky Austin, nor that that explains their opinions.

          1. I think I’m known to be one of the younger posters here, but time is passing at the same rate for me as everyone else! And I have many friendships that have gone through seasons. I am extremely close now with two people I knew in high school but didn’t see or hear from much in college. But neither of them seemed to actively drop my friendship even as I was sending them baby gifts, and neither of them moved back to the city where I was living and didn’t see fit to even casually inform me. I find that confusing, and I think OP is right to be hurt and to need to work that out with the friend before committing to another chance.

    5. If I were in your shoes, I would just remain polite but distant, rather than try to achieve closure or have any sort of confrontation or assignment of blame as to who was REALLY at fault the relationship ended.

      In response to her message, if she really did directly say something like “I’m sorry,” you can just respond with something like, “No worries, it happens! Life gets so busy.” Or if it was more open ended, just something like, “I agree, it’s too bad but it happens. Life gets so busy.” And just leave it at that.

      And if you really don’t have any interest in spending time with her, it should be easy enough to be “busy” any time she actually suggests doing something – which it doesn’t sound like she has. Cordial texting isn’t that big a deal to sustain. You can even leave her on read for things that don’t compel a response.

      1. General agree. Just because she was once your BFF doesn’t mean she needs to be again.

        However life is short and friends are always a highlight.

        I am in camp Talk about it because otherwise it will fester. Tell her you prioritized your friendship but didn’t get a response and you’re open to friendship if you are but there a lot of hurt there which will take time to resolve.

    6. I’m honestly always happy when an old friendship rekindles even if there were issues that led to the initial cooling period.

      She doesn’t have to become your new bff, but to grab a drink once a year or so and reminisce might be fun. Plus if you hit it off again, it will be nice to have a local friend when you move back to your community.

      I only have a 2 friends and a few acquaintances left from high school but I really value those long term friendships, so few non-family/family friend people have known me for that long! FWIW, I had deliberately dropped contact with the 2 friends while we were in college because I thought they were having a mean girl phase and I wasn’t interested. I reconnected with them in our early 20s and no regrets!

  10. When is the best time of year to buy outdoor furniture? I just need 2 chairs and a small table for my tiny balcony in new apartment and not sure if it’s better to buy Labor Day or Indigenous Peoples Day or wait for spring? I move in Oct 1 and live in Jersey so I’d be fine just using a beach chair as a fill-in this fall for the handful of times I’ll use it before it gets too cold and then get more substantial stuff over the off-season.

    Also – would love to hear everyone’s tiny balcony gardening tips !

    1. It doesn’t hurt to look at the sales right now, but TBH, I’ve found things to be very picked over by this part of the season. Unfortunately, it seems like you have to grab this stuff during the high season of April/May/June.

      1. Agreed – we went to a couple spots last week and there was almost nothing. You might have better luck someplace like Wayfair or Overstock.

    2. Yeah, early spring is your best bet. But you can check around at places like Lowes, Home Depot or Target in case there are any good finds. Walmart too if you shop there.

    3. Facebook Marketplace. This is a time of year when so many people relocate, and I have gotten all of my high quality outdoor furniture, plus my sister’s and a friend’s, for free or a fraction of retail.

      1. Yes! I got a great set for free from Buy Nothing a few July’s ago. Unfortunately, that set is wayyyyy too big for the space in the new apartment so it lives at my parents now.

    4. I’d try to buy secondhand. I agree with others that outdoor stuff needs to be bought early in the season for best selection.

  11. I could use some advice. Recently, an old friend has been trying to rekindle a friendship. The background is that we used to be incredibly close friends, went to the same middle and high schools, etc. But after she got married about 10 years ago, she completely dropped the friendship despite attempts by me to keep it alive. She had moved to a different city which partly explained it but I think it was mostly due to her feeling awkward about being married while I was still single (mind you, we were early 20s, so I was by no means old).

    She wouldn’t bother to tell me when she was visiting home city and the clincher came when she actually moved back permanently to the city about 5-6 years ago but didn’t bother telling me – I only discovered it because I bumped into her in person. After that, I stopped trying because frankly, it hurt a lot. I have been blessed with many good friends and family and figured this was just what happens to some friendships as people grow older.

    Since she now lives in our old community (which I recently moved away from), she is occasionally bumping into mutual friends and family members of mine and they will give her random updates on my life. So over the last few years, I’ve gotten a few texts out of the blue from her commenting/asking on different things she had heard. I generally just briefly responded but didn’t offer anything more. When COVID first started, her dad died and I did reach out via phone call to offer my condolences. It was a very awkward conversation because we truly have no common ground anymore and are literal strangers now.

    Quite honestly, there was little incentive/desire on my part to be friends with her anymore. I lead a very full and sometimes insanely exhausting life and when I think or hear from her, it always brings a twinge of hurt. However, she recently decided that she really wanted to try to rekindle the friendship and for the first time, has been texting frequently and even offered a semi-apology for having dropped the friendship

    1. My gut reaction is to leave the friendship in the past, however, since you are posting about and you’re on the fence, I figure it can’t hurt to grab coffee or a drink with her. If meeting up with her once doesn’t make you cringe or feel too awkward, maybe consider being friendly and see what happens.

      1. This is where I land, too. OP, totally get it if you don’t want to. But since your circles overlap so much, I’d be inclined to take the olive branch and be friendly, even if you never become close friends again. Also, and I hate to say this because I have no idea how old you are, but the older I get, the more I value the people who knew me way back when, know my parents, know my family on a level that my current/newer friends never will. When sh!t gets real (and it will), there is so much comfort in having friendly relationships with those folks. Again, YMMV. I don’t blame you for being hurt. If you think she’d be open to the conversation, maybe it’s worth clearing the air and expressing how hurt you were when she dropped you.

    2. I’ve been similar to your friend, largely because of depression that made me oblivious. She may have a better apology and not know how to give it via text. I have also been you. There are a couple friends I do not want back. You have no obligation. But there’s hurt here. Perhaps accepting an olive branch would allow you to heal. Or perhaps, because you are just very busy and tired, you say “I’m so glad you reached out, and I hope we can reconnect fully some day. I can’t right now, but I’m glad for our friendship, and again, I’m sorry about your dad.” Or you don’t answer at all. Friendships are deep loves, and they carry deep hurt sometimes. Its okay to feel what you feel.

  12. Best closet organization tips? I fear my closet. I’ve been purging clothes into storage and would love any blogs with inspo or tips!

    1. This isn’t specific to closets – but organization in general. Check out Caroline Winkler on YouTube. Her video “You’re doing home organization WRONG.” is great. There are some tips in the video about closets. Basically you need systems that work for you.

    2. Not a huge tip, but I put command hooks on the walls just inside the doorframe. Makes a good spot for belts, bracelets, “wear again” pants, etc.

      2. I have over the door hooks for those types of things and if I’m getting ready in the morning or packing for a trip I put my outfit(s) on the hook. It’s also good for long belted sweaters. I think mine has about 6 hooks.

      3. Yes! Last year I bought a bunch of double hooks and put multiple just inside the doors of every closet of our house. They’re useful for a million different things!

      4. Be careful with those, the one belt that’s too heavy pulls the thing down and your wall with it.

    3. Decluttering is a more viable method than organizing. With less stuff, there is less to organize.

      Don’t waste space on the items that you will never choose to wear unless you have no washing options for a month. Keep your favorites for prime spots. Only keep clothes that make you feel good about yourself, no too tight/big/ratty/small/must-sew-button/awkward-lenght/almost-great.

    4. Socks have always been my Waterloo. I have the damndest time keeping them together. Recently I started keeping a lingerie bag next to the hamper just for socks. It keeps the ones I’ve worn together and pairing them up/putting them away when they’re done washing is a breeze.

      1. Why didn’t I think of that? This may be the single best advice I’ve ever read here. Thank you!

      2. Yes, I keep all of my socks in the basket. I sometimes match them up but not always. But, they’re just in a nice looking basket in my closet.

    5. The single best thing you can do is empty as much as possible out of it. The emptier the closet is, the less organization is an issue/problem. As an extreme example, if you have an empty shelf and have one purse to put away . . . there’s nothing to organize. You just set the purse on the shelf and you’re done. Of course, your closet is not going to be that empty, but you get the idea. If you have 97 hangers crowded onto a rod and 49 sweaters piled on the shelf above it, you’re going to fear your closet. If you have 15 hangers on that same rod and 3 sweaters, there’s nothing to fear and nothing to organize. Again, that’s an extreme example. Just making the point that getting stuff out of the closet is a great organizing tool.

    1. We got metal nightstands off Wayfair. Ours are mint green but I think they also have a bright yellow.

  14. Where can I find a good quality, fun colored nightstand for my bedroom? I have a lot of warm neutrals and a patterned rug with teal undertones. I was thinking a bold navy or blue with gold hardware, maybe something totally different but was thinking not a natural wood or neutral color, but I’m coming up totally empty! Any vicarious shoppers out there??

    3. Wayfair makes it super easy to search by color and size. I was shocked at the amazing selection when I was looking for a pale blue for our guest room.

    4. Not sure how much you want to spend but Serena and Lily has great quality furniture, often in shades of blue. I would also check Chairish.

    6. Recently bought a great nightstand from Wayfair. They had a huge selection and lots of colors

  15. Dear Vicky and everyone else I’ve told that I hate “6 weeks in and 6 months in to a new job”, guess what. I’m 5+ weeks back to work, and last night I was like “I CAN’T DO THIS I AM FAILING.”

    Right on cue.

    1. Haha oh no! I think my timeline is a bit off since the summer was suuuuuper slow and we’re just now getting into the real meat of things, but I am also hitting the CAN’T DO THIS I SUCK AND AM MAKING SO MANY DUMB MISTAKES wall after 5 solid weeks of the real thing. It doesn’t help that I’m exhausted (first tri fatigue woo). I’ll hang in there if you will! <3

      1. Yeah, it’s approximate, and I’ve been part time and out because of COVID and the other plague that hit us, so who knows what time really is. But oh no! Man. I am with you on the dumb mistakes. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to use a calendar. It’s embarrassing.

        Also: I don’t know if I managed to congratulate you when you told us a few weeks back! Congratulations! First tri fatigue is truly the. worst. Chemo fatigue didn’t top it until Cycle 5, and at least with chemo they give you zofran and no one expects you to suck it up. It is so hard. Around week 16 I looked around and felt slightly human again, and then three weeks later I felt baby kick, and now she’s almost one :). You’ll get there, and you’ll welcome baby into your new house, and we are rooting for you.

        1. You’re the best! Thank you! I’m hanging in there, but being nauseous and exhausted and having to be on site with clients for the first real time in my working life has been rough. Long weekend = long naps, I am so ready for the break. Thank you so much for all the kind words! Rooting for you back!

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