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Updated: Nov 11, 2021 113 Comments · by

Gift Idea: Balaclava

Coffee Break |

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If you know anyone trying to get into more outdoor winter activity — particularly this year! — this fun balaclava from Zella caught my eye.

I like the idea of the neon pom (super cute!!) with the practical warmth of a balaclava. A balaclava probably isn't enough to serve as a mask if you're in close quarters with strangers, but it will keep your neck, chin, and possibly your nose nice and warm.

It's $25 at Nordstrom.

Madewell has something similar for $39. For the knitters amongst you, Etsy seller StyleMeCozy has several absolutely adorable patterns for kids' balaclavas.

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Blow Dryer

    Not your usual question about blow dryers for this forum. We got a doodle puppy in January and he is now 70 pounds. When we wash him, we dry his hair a bit so he isn’t running around soaking wet. Especially now that it’s cold. All household humans have short hair that doesn’t require drying so we only have a super old and slow blow dryer. I’m thinking about buying a new one for the dog because it takes forever just to get his hair to be damp. Any suggestions for a doggie blow dryer? Up to $75 seems like a more than generous budget for this, but, again, I haven’t purchased a blow dryer in more than 20 years so what do I know.

    • Lyssa

      I’ve found the Conair Infinity Pro to be a really good hair dryer for the cost (around $35, available just about anywhere that sells mass market brands).

    • Cat

      I would just pick up a new one at the drugstore or Target for like $30 – *anything* new is going to be faster and more effective.

      For my own head I have a Babyliss I got on Amazon – I love it but probably not enough to spend an extra $45 on my dog :)

    • Anon

      I got a good one for around that price at Costco. You can get one cheaper at somewhere like Fred Meyer or Target. They don’t make my hair look as good, but that’s probably less important for a dog.

    • Anon

      I had a really nice T3 hair dryer but it was big and I didn’t think it was all that fast. At the time I was doing a lot of business travel and my favorite hotel chain always had the Conair 1875 watt folding hair drier in the bathrooms.

      I swore it dried my hair faster than my fancy drier so I finally just bought one for myself and I’ve never looked back. They’re $15-$25 on amazon.

    • MJ

      First of all, join the DIY Doodle Grooming and Doodle Owners and Groomers Coming Together Facebook groups. They are a wealth of info, including recommended supplies. And both have recommended dryers. The answer, if you want a force dryer, is a Shelandy or a Flying Pig. I have a mini, wash her weekly, and really only need to dry her hair a few times per year because I live in CA. And I use my regular ol’ Conair. Enjoy your doodle!!!

      • Anon

        As a poodle owner, I’ll second this. With doodles it depends a lot how close the hair is to true poodle hair. That stuff mats like crazy if left to airdry (I am not in CA) and it can be pretty uncomfortable for the dog/require shaving the mats off if it gets out of control. You bought a high maintenance dog! Spring for the good dryer.

        • Anonymous

          Agreed. You need more force, but not heat to dry a dog. For what it’s worth, I don’t bathe my doodle unless he rolls in something gross. I spot clean his feet and butt (if he leaves a dingleberry), and he goes to the groomer once a month. One month he gets a bath and trim (nails, face, etc) and the second month he gets a full groom.

  3. Anonymous

    Would you eat gifted homemade food? I love making a huge batch of cinnamon rolls and bringing them to my family Christmas party. The party isn’t happening this year, so I was thinking of still making the rolls and dropping them off for neighbors. But I don’t want to do it if they’ll all go straight into the trash.

    • Vicky Austin

      I would. I think it’s been well established that food and surfaces are not huge sources of spread, so I would feel comfortable with that.

    • Anon

      No, but not because of Covid. I have animal allergies, and people are not nearly as hygienic as they think they are. I’ve gotten hives from a friend’s muffins, when she swore her dogs weren’t even allowed in the kitchen.

      • Ellen

        Yes, people, including professional commercial food preparers, are not that clean! After all, if something drops into the soup, do you seriusly think they are going to throw out the pot? No way, Dad says. He was in the military and nothing got thrown out. Food was rewarmed and if there was stuff in it, it got boiled or baked out, he said. I think making stuff at home is the best though it takes time, but at least you know that if you got stuff in the food that did not belong, you knew what it was. That included hair, stray bodily stuff no matter how gross (sneezes, snot, boogers, etc), but at least it was YOURS. If some body else put stuff in the food when they were making it, you do not know who or what or when, and that is really gross. I often find hair in my food, and you don’t know what else got in there or how, so cook it yourself or caveat emtor! PTOOEY!

    • anonymous

      I would and already have. When my dad passed away last month some friends and neighbors gave food to my mom and she shared some with us. Homemade cinnamon rolls sound amazing. The only kind I’ve made at home are the ones out of the tube.

    • Cat

      No, but I am generally squeamish about potluck dishes. I think because I can’t possibly know how the person keeps their kitchen. We went to a BBQ once and the kitchen was absolutely disgusting – food and dishes everywhere, old spills that were never cleaned up, the floor was sticky, etc – and not a bit of the mess was stuff that was being served – I didn’t eat.

      • Anon

        Omg you’re reminding me of a visit to a small home ranch/winery where I had to ask to use the restroom, which led me though one of the messiest houses I’ve ever seen. The image of the overflowing litter box is something I saw whenever I looked at the bottle we bought as a courtesy. I threw it away eventually knowing I’d never drink it.

    • Anon

      I responded to something like this last week. I tend to gift homemade jams and jellies. I know I follow sterile procedures but some people are just not comfortable with it. So before I give them to someone I ask if they like homemade jams and jellies, and I even say I something like “if you’re never going to use it or will throw it away, please let me know and I’ll just get you something else.” I try to do this before I’m standing there with a jar in my hands. It’s direct but it works.

      • Anon

        I think with the question you asked it seems rude to say “I will throw it away”. Maybe ask in a way that gives people an out (“if you have allergies or other concerns eating homemade food” rather than “if you are going to throw it away”) and a way to say no politely.

    • anon

      Yes, and I’m not very squeamish about the source. Covid isn’t spread via food. I’ve eaten many things of uncertain provenance and haven’t gotten sick yet. I seem to have a strong stomach.

      • NY CPA

        +1 except I have a weak stomach.
        There’s basically no indications COVID is spread through food. I would love someone to drop off homemade cinnamon rolls to me!

    • Anonymous

      No. I do carry out and drive throughs a lot but I don’t want to eat something someone has made or touched without held to food service standards. Not the year to get the flu. I’m less concerned about touch-based Covid. But if sanitizer is important and we’ve been told not to share serving dishes and do individual servings, I’m not totally sold on touching something that spent prolonged time in someone’s home with no knowledge of how it’s been handled or stored. Honestly, I’d toss it.

      But I’m also the grinch who doesn’t like to eat cookies made by kids.

      • anne-on

        I barely eat cookies made by my own kid but I am the lunatic who wipes things down after baking because I fully believe uncooked flour = salmonella and treat it like I do raw meat. My son on the other hand thinks flour is akin to playing in the sandbox and then touches all.the.things. after we bake. I now just escort him straight to the bathroom.

    • Kitten

      No, not because of COVID though it just grosses me out to eat random food from someone I don’t know well and I also only eat sweets if it’s something I really love. But I would appreciate the gesture for sure.

  4. Anon

    Confession here,

    I’d seen this kind of masked hat with the name written out before but my mind read the word as Baklava.

    So when my teen son was talking about getting a Balaklava for the mountains, I asked him if he meant a Baklava, thinking that was the correct name for the hat.

    In hindsight, I couldn’t have given him a better Christmas gift than the opportunity to make fun of me over this for the next several months.

    • blueberry

      Hahaha I have always confused those words! I definitely just didn’t know what this hat was called because every time someone said the name I thought they were saying baklava!

    • Anon100

      Not gonna lie, I truly laughed out loud at this.

      So did you end up giving him the hat and/or the pastry? :)

    • Pep

      My boyfriend and I have a running joke about balaclavas, balalaikas, and baklavas.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      I realized the difference last year between those two words. I just assumed that baklava meant 2 things. Nope.

      Also one time I spelled peasant wrong in a text to a friend. Something like “Ugh we have to go stand in line like pheasants.” Didn’t hear the end of that one.

  5. Anon

    Anyone have suggestions for a virtual wine tasting kit? Idea is to give this as a gift for a date night. I am looking for the type where the wine for the tasting is included and shipped. Price point of $50 per person/$100 per couple.

    • anon

      Several of my local wine stores, cheese shops, and restaurants are hosting virtual wine tastings–is there anything near you that would have that option with curbside pickup? If that’s available to you, it would save on shipping costs. Otherwise, Business Insider published a list of virtual wine tastings a few days ago, and some of those have the wine included.

    • NY CPA

      $50 per person is going to be hard. My work team just did this and it was almost $200 per person for 2 bottles of wine and 2 cheeses to accompany. The shipping alone was around $50 of that. I agree you should try to find some place local.

  6. blueberry

    I think I excuse my shopaholic tendencies by buying things for other people. Like bought a skincare kit for my sister, not as a christmas present, just like that. I saw the schmackery cookies in this morning post and they’re so cute, I dont’ want them around the house but I want to buy them! But spending $50 to send cookies to my college friends is not going to help me save dammit

    • The Original ...

      To clarify, are you wanting to be talked out of spending or are you looking for a new friend to spoil. If the former, try watching minimalism documentaries, if the latter, well hey girl hey!

      ;)

    • Anon

      I have started sending links to items in an email

      Or sending a card – physical mail – “I saw the cutest lipstick set and thought of you. Hope you’re doing well! Call me soon to catch up!” A stamp is about fifty cents, and some people keep cards as mementos forever.

      • blueberry

        Aww I should send Christmas cards! Or holiday cards! Buying stamps and postcards is something I never get to do, and this will keep me away from other spending

        • Anon

          I love stamps – I don’t collect them, but I probably buy new ones every quarter. You can buy them online or the post office usually has a big binder – with Covid they’ll show you the ones they have in stock instead of handing you the binder. I have cartoon characters, animals, stamps supporting scientists, stamps featuring people of color, holidays, charities – my friends often remark on the stamp as it’s a fun and inexpensive way to connect to something they like or care about. I send a ton of mail. My best advice is keep addresses up to date in your phone, friends will get used to sending you their new address when they move. When my BFF broke off an engagement, her card had a few lines about moving forward and the stamp was a snake.

          I am terrible at birthdays but often send random batches of Valentines or April Fools day cards, Christmas cards, and “just because” cards. My parents are retired and love them, too. I find that I often get a flurry of texts, calls, or emails after sending a batch of cards… so I also send simple thinking of you cards when I’m having a bad day, knowing that in 3-5 days I’ll probably have an outpouring from loved ones touching in with life updates.

          Hope you enjoy sending a few!

  7. Ymanon

    Balaclavas are great in very cold temps and with windchill, but I would definitely recommend a warm one in wool – and without the pompom!

    I mainly use mine under a helmet or hat, and in temperatures below -20 C, though.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      I went glacier climbing in Iceland in January (2020 started off on a high note. 2020 is ending off on a very, very low note. see below). and had a balaclava for below my helmet. I don’t know if it was just too big or what but I eventually yanked it off- it wouldn’t stay put and every photo I took it just looks like a mess with fabric bunched around my face and chin. I wish I’d just brought a Turtle Fur like I do for skiing. I like the idea, but I don’t think my face is shaped right.

  8. Anon

    A follow-up question about zoom music lessons. I was honestly surprised that every response this morning said they just use regular video chat. Are the students fairly beginner, where they are learning the instrument and how to read music? I guess I’m accustomed to my teacher correcting me in exactly how it sounds?

    • anon

      I’m not sure I understand your question. The teacher can hear if you play wrong, even without a special mic. Unless one of you has a really spotty connection, the teacher can also hear if you’re on tempo and have the rythm right. They are on the other end with their own instrument and can demo things for you.
      My DH with piano lessons has the camera angles to show the keys, and the teacher tells him if he needs to change finger technique.

      • Anonymous

        Piano is not at all the same as a wind or string instrument where you control the tone quality.

    • Anon

      I responded that my son had bass lessons over zoom. Just to be clear, it’s the double bass, aka stand up bass.

      I an not being biased but he’s pretty good. He’s a senior in HS and is in the advanced orchestra. He also plays other string and wind instruments so he doesn’t need any basics.

      His bass teacher would give him music to practice it with some tips on finger positions etc. They’d go over it blind at one lesson, then by the next lesson they’d play it together. The bass teacher would often play something different than my son – like a harmony or a counter melody – so that my son was playing the piece real time and gaining that experience. The teacher would often stop him midway to correct hand positions, bowing, etc.

      I took piano lessons for > 20 years, and my son’s lessons didn’t seem all that different correction-wise than a typical piano lesson for me.

      I think the trick would be aiming the iPad or whatever you use at the keyboard so that the teacher could see your fingering. I’d also want the teacher to be on his/her own keyboard to show you things.

    • PolyD

      I mentioned that I was taking cello lessons via FaceTime.

      I’m a beginner, and it has been difficult to learn the correct grip on the bow, but between YouTube and my teacher, I’m getting better. I already knew how to read music, so that was helpful. Even through FaceTime, my teacher has been able to give me good tips for holding the bow, positioning my fingers correctly on the strings, and how to not sounds so screechy (getting there!).

      I mean, sure, if you are pro level and need to hear nuances, it’s probably not great. But for learning a new instrument and, I imagine, for regular lessons, it’s probably fine.

    • Anonymous

      I think it depends on the instrument, the level, and the equipment. Beginner piano, guitar, or voice? Sure. Graduate-level flute? I don’t think that would be at all useful without a real mic, great headphones for the instructor, and very fast internet on both ends. I couldn’t even make a decent recording of a flute part for a little virtual choir piece on my computer, iPhone, or iPad. There was way too much background noise and feedback, and so much of the sound was lost.

    • Anon

      Thanks for clarifying guys. It seems like one of the differences that neither my phone nor laptop can really handle talking to family or co-workers, and it sounds like that is unusually bad.

    • anon

      My kids have virtual piano lessons. I don’t think anyone is kidding themselves that it’s as good as in person, but it’s fine. For piano we position the phone or iPad so the teacher can see their finger position and the keys. Actually, the worst part is that both of their teachers have not great pianos at home and it’s annoying to listen to. Cello is harder because the teacher can’t tune the instrument for him.

  9. Anonymous

    What would you wear on a second date during the day? The first date was a very impromptu coffee shop meet up and we both had on athleisure. Second date is this Saturday – we will visit another coffee shop and sit outdoors, stroll down charming city street and window shop, and have a private browsing appointment at the local used bookstore on said street (we will be the only two customers in the store). If all goes well, I imagine we may continue to stroll and get a patio drink if weather permits. Weather will be in the 50’s. All I can think of is my usual fall uniform of sweater, black leggings, and boots. Part of me wants to wear a sweater dress with tights and boots, but I don’t want to overdress. I also have clothes anxiety right now due to some weight gain. Any thoughts? Advice? Comforting words? (P.S. I don’t wear jeans).

    • Anonymous

      I would wear the sweater dress just because it’s a rare chance to wear anything other than athleisure.

    • all about eevee

      I would wear the sweater dress with tights and boots. I don’t think that’s overdressed unless the sweater is somehow sparkly or metallic. Make sure your bag and hair look casual and you’ll be fine.

    • pnw anon

      Put on the sweater dress outfit, and at the last minute if it doesn’t feel right switch to your go-to outfit. But the sweater dress is perfect for a bookstore and patio drink, and it sounds super cute! Definite cute 2nd date choice!

    • pugsnbourbon

      As long as you’ll be warm enough, I say sweaterdress! This sounds like a rom-com date (in a good way!) and I hope you have a great time!

    • Anonymous

      I would have recommended sweater dress and booties without the prompt from.you, so I say go for it. Tone down makeup and accessories so you don’t look confused about where you are going, but I think a second date is a good time to look like you are trying a bit and feel great in what you are wearing.

    • Horse Crazy

      Wear the sweater dress! I wore a dress and tights out a while ago and didn’t realize how much I miss getting dressed up, so I’d jump at the opportunity.

  10. Anon

    Weighing out options to move to the Nashville area and trying to learn about their covid response, how they are with DEI issues, how life is there, etc. My friend lives in Antioch so I’d likely live in that area. Any insights or guidance on life there? (For context, I’m late 30s, not married but someday want to be, childfree, very socially liberal, remote work indefinitely with an income around $50k)

    Thanks for any insights!

      • Anon

        I guarantee you that you could find a story about a 100 person wedding in any state.

        • LaurenB

          Unfortunately yes. Mask compliance is high here (Chicago burbs) but we had that stupid Hilton Allgauers wedding for 250 people mentioned on the previous thread.

    • all about eevee

      Do not move to Nashville right now. Do not move to Tennessee in general right now. Staunchly Republican, full of COVID deniers, tons of hot spots, no mask mandate, no event restrictions, and people who still think that Joe Biden is not going to be inaugurated on January 20.

    • all about eevee

      Oh, also, there are pockets of progressives who are fine with LGBT people and minorities, but they are certainly not the norm here. Also, people are deeply unfriendly to transplants moving in from other areas.

    • Anonymous

      I thought that Nashville was basically AirBnB bacherlor3tt3 party h3ll?

    • Anon

      I remember all the AirBnB hell stories about Nashville and have been wondering what difference the pandemic has made. Maybe it hasn’t made any difference, if TN is still doing whatever it wants?

      • Anon

        TN is a beautiful state, but you may also want to catch up on the ongoing Ballad Health saga.

    • Anon

      Currently live in Nashville. Nashville as a whole has been very strict on Covid compliance. Antioch has not and consistently has been a hotspot. Tennessee has been a sh!tshow. The city has essentially said it does not know what else to do because of how loose restrictions are elsewhere in the state and in other counties. We still have no mask mandate.

      DEI issues are fine in Nashville– there are definitely blue v. red zip codes. My guess is Antioch is a redder zip code. Antioch has some of the worst traffic in the area (which says a lot) and is not especially scenic. There are a lot of semi-abandoned strip malls. I would not move there if you can afford another area. Also, property values have gone up a lot near downtown with Amazon coming, etc. COL here is more expensive than you think– $50K will not get you as far as it should.

    • Nashvillian

      I’ve lived in Nashville for 20 years and it’s changed dramatically in that time. I feel like so many people have moved here in the last 5-10 years. Even in Antioch these days (which is a pretty low-rent area of town), $50K is not a lot of money to afford rent and a life here. Nashville has become ridiculously expensive. And its Covid response is ridiculous. Nashville is better than the outerlying areas, but if you’re looking for somewhere that’s handled Covid well, this is not it.

    • probably not a good fit...

      My sister lives in Antioch. She’s late-20s, married, toddler-age child. They own a house in a neighborhood with a bunch of other mid-20s to mid-30s married couples with young kids. They are active in their church, they walk their dogs with the other parents in the neighborhood, they drink sweet tea on the porch. She is generally pretty centrist, but if you look at her life on paper, it is the epitome of the stereotype of a young, religious, Southern gal. Some of the nonsense she deals with from her in-laws and older people in her church would probably drive you nuts if you’re socially liberal and unmarried/childfree. The assumption from her colleagues and her community that she’s the sole childcare provider, sole household keeper, sole dinner maker, just generally doing “the woman things” is everywhere. When I visit, I get weird looks and general judgement about whether I’m actually happy, being all career-focused and childfree. Even little things, like when and where you can buy alcohol, the gated communities for the wealthy people, the standing in the community being highly correlated with your standing in the church, etc. permeates everything. I doubt that Anitoch would be a good fit for you, given your description of yourself.

    • Another Nashvillian

      Nashville is compliant – it is a blue dot surrounded by a red state. But I would not plan to move to Antioch. It used to be a working class neighborhood 50 years ago but now it has become run down, full of crime, most businesses have left, and traffic is terrible to get to downtown from there. Nashville was the “It City” and tons of people were moving here a day and lots of people vacation here. Downtown is not the downtown from years ago and basically only bachelorettes and tourists go there but there are lots of great areas of Nashville where you don’t have to see them. Generally, it is still a small big city and there is a lot of old money vs transplants here. Nashville is very expensive to live in considering the state as a whole is very low cost living (no income tax) but Nashville has very high housing prices and if school districts will be important then plan to spend even more. It is very hard to live comfortably in Nashville on $50,000 alone. The biggest drawbacks to Nashville are the crime, high property taxes, and housing costs but otherwise it is a great city! We lived in the cool, hip East Nashville area for many years but moved south to Williamson County when we had kids (which has none of things you are looking for) but still get to enjoy Nashville’s benefits from the suburbs with kids.

  11. Sloan Sabbith

    My dad had a stroke this morning. It was mild (although not a mini-stroke and it sure the hell didn’t look mild this morning) and he’s doing OK now. Got him TPA quickly and he’s conscious, able to move his arms and legs, talking (slurry, but talking), informing my mom that he disagrees with how she prhases things to the nurse, telling the nurses his life story, etc. Can anyone give me anecdata about what the next few weeks or months would look like? Lifestyle changes he may need to make, what rehab is if that’s necessary, etc?

    Scared the hell out of all of us- he was really, really bad there for a bit before they took him to the hospital.

    Thanks.

    • all about eevee

      Hey, I can’t help much, but wanted to say I am so sorry. This is an especially stressful time to have a relative in the hospital.

      • Sloan Sabbith

        Yes, it’s terrible. Now that he’s in the ICU we can’t visit. :(

    • Anonymous

      I’m very sorry to hear that. I think you should just take the day to process, though. The doctors and nurses will help you understand the specifics for your dad’s situation (not sure anything anyone can add here will be helpful to your circumstances). I’m really glad that your dad is doing okay now and the important thing is that he got treatment quickly.

      • Sloan Sabbith

        Good point. I tend to default to wanting more information in emergencies which isn’t always helpful.

        Yes, happy he got treatment quickly. He was at home, my mom and I were both home because of WFH (if it had been normal times she would be at work when he had it and I wouldn’t be living here).

        • Anonymous

          I get it, I’m the same way :) And that’s such a relief that you were both there. Please keep us posted when you know more and best of luck to you and your family.

    • Vicky Austin

      I can’t advise, but I’m so glad he’s okay. Please take care of yourself.

      Gotta love those hilarious signs of life like disagreeing with your mom’s phrasing. When my grandmother asked her pastor to come see her shortly before she died, she wagged her finger at him and proceeded to tell him all about a grammar mistake he’d been making for months (yes, they also discussed other things).

      • Sloan Sabbith

        Hahaha. I woke up to my mom calling the EMTs and I could hear my dad grumbling “No no no” as she described something. When they asked who the president was there was some very clearly enunciated curse words.

    • Senior Attorney

      My anecdata are that my dad had a small stroke in… what? His early 80s? And came all the way back including driving his car for many more years and playing pool and Lord knows what-all. honestly I don’t remember any particular rehab. He’s 94 now and since then has come all the way back from a near-fatal bout with sepsis about five years ago and is still going strong. I keep saying they’ll have to shoot him on Judgment Day.

    • KS IT Chick

      In 2002, my FIL had a stroke while he was showering on a Saturday night. He crawled out of the bathroom and pulled himself to the phone, so he was able to call the neighbors and get help. He was in acute care for about 4 days and in a rehab unit for not quite 2 weeks.

      He had no residual effects that were visible to other people. He did have an issue with the nerves in his left hand registering hot as cold and cold as hot. If he got tired, he would sometimes drag his left leg a bit, but that was as much an after effect of polio as a child as of the stroke.

      I write that because the doctor was very clear that early intervention is the key in stroke. Time is brain tissue . You got your father to care quickly, so the prognosis is pretty good, if he cooperates with his rehab program. That he is already talking intelligibly is a good sign.

      Give yourself a chance to breathe and be glad that you were able to help him so quickly.

    • Anon

      I’m sorry, Sloan. It’s so hard when one of your parents has a medical crisis. I haven’t experienced this one but lots of others. Hugs to you. Please remember to be nice to Sloan.

    • Anonymous

      Sloan, I’m sorry you are dealing with this. My husband had a fairly unusual and somewhat different kind of stroke that primarily impacted his balance two years ago, just a week after he turned 50. The short story is he made basically a complete recovery – he went from not being able to sit up due to extreme vertigo and violent motion sickness (due to conflicting signals about motion/balance), let alone walk, to riding a bike, resuming all normal activities, etc. So there is a lot of hope! Obviously this isn’t going to be everyone’s experience but it is amazing how the brain can recover. Despite our very best efforts and various tests, his stroke presented in a weird way and was caught too late for TPA, so his brain is still damaged; other parts are just compensating.

      A couple things I learned – to the extent that it is possible in COVID, someone should be there for rounds to talk to the doctors and hear what they are saying (take notes), and also check in with the nurses. After my husband had been in the hospital for a couple of days, a nurse said to me, “you should start pushing to get him transferred to rehab. The doctors are going to keep wanting to do tests, but they can do that while he’s an outpatient. Meanwhile he can’t get any rest and isn’t getting much therapy.” And I think she was right. This was partly because he was admitted over Labor Day weekend and things were moving really slowly, and partly because he was so young and without risk factors they were determined to figure out why he had a stroke. (They did eventually discover he has an autoimmune disorder that causes blood clots, but that took weeks).

      Your dad will likely have assessments while he is in the hospital to see if he can safely do things like swallow/eat and to figure out what kind of physical and occupational therapy he needs for rehab. He may start doing therapy in the hospital, but they may also recommend he move to a rehab hospital for in-patient therapy for a longer period of time. They will also tell you what modifications you may need in your home. If it sounds like a transfer is possible, start getting recommendations for facilities and see whether they have beds available. The hospital social worker worked on getting insurance approval and arranging the transfer, but we were having trouble finding a place with a bed and getting them to sign off on the approval quickly enough to avoid him being hospitalized over another long weekend (Jewish holidays) so I had to make some phone calls to try to apply pressure. I also had to do some legwork to find a physical therapist for outpatient rehab once my husband was released from the rehab hospital; the social worker there was completely useless on this. So if you or your parents have doctor friends who can make recommendations, start asking for advice.

      My husband was very very tired and needed to sleep/rest a lot for months after the stroke. When he didn’t rest enough, his symptoms of dizziness and vertigo would return. Everyone seemed to think this was normal and part of the process. He went back to work after about 6 weeks, but it took 6 months or so for him to really be back to normal. Even years later, when he gets really tired occasionally he starts getting dizzy.

      Good luck and hugs to you and your family!

    • Leatty

      I’m so sorry! My dad had one a few years ago, and it was so scary. Fortunately, he was rushed to the hospital and treated quickly. Within a couple days, he was back to normal, and he hasn’t experienced any lasting impact. Wishing him a speedy recovery!

    • Patricia Gardiner

      So sorry to hear it. Glad it was mild and he seems improved. He will have some tests to try to determine the cause of the stroke- was it due to a clot that formed in the heart, atherosclerosis of the large blood vessels in the neck, or small vessels that got clotted off? The specific type will determine what kind of blood thinner medication he will need to take and if lifestyle changes are recommended.
      He will have an evaluation by physical therapists to see what kind of rehabilitation he needs – physical therapy is always good; the sooner after the stroke he can start it, the better! He may also have an evaluation to see if he is able to swallow safely or if he needs a special food texture diet.
      Most people make significant improvements in the first 6 months after a stroke; if he’s not back to normal after that, he can continue to make some gains even up to 2 years after the stroke.
      If he is already talking and arguing with your mom, it sounds like he’s in really good shape! Be sure your parents have a good understanding of what medications he needs to take for secondary prevention.

    • Not That Anne, the Other Anne

      My dad had a TIA a few years ago. He got to care really fast and they started all the usual treatments, which made a real difference.

      He spent some time in the hospital and had some weakness on one side for awhile (and he still keeps a cane in the car in case there’s a long walk or standing a lot). His speech was a little slower afterwards, so we just had to be patient for him to get his words out. He had some trouble with his memory for a bit, too. It was little things, like not remembering which side of the car the gas cap was on or telling the same story twice.

      Overall, it hasn’t affected his life much, and it definitely improved after the first couple of months, but it did increase the burden on my mom for a bit since she was his primary caretaker. She needed some support from us too.

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