Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Greenwich Dress in Stretch Crepe
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Spring is here and I’m ready for hot pink. This dress from The Fold would stand out in a crowd in the best way possible. I would wear this dress for an event where I wanted to command attention and project confidence and competence — I’m thinking of moderating a panel or attending an important networking function or semiformal charity event.
No need for statement jewelry on this one; the dress is the statement!
The dress is $595 at The Fold and comes in U.S. sizes 2–12.
A more affordable option is this dress by Lauren Ralph Lauren; it's available in sizes 00–18 and is $125.
Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
Elizabeth, I love this dress! It’s to bad that the pandemic put 15 pounds on me, primarily in my stomach and tuchus, so this kind of wrap just calls attention to all of that. I recommend you post some flowing “A line”dresses, tho the Lauren dress you’re showing at least is a bit more frugal for those of us who have morgages to pay. Thanks for pointing it out!!! YAY!!!!!
Good morning! My family of five is planning a summer road trip from Texas to the Great Lakes. The kids are all elementary school aged. Where should we stop on the way and where is the best place to experience the Great Lakes? Are there two places on the lake we should go? Specific recs for food and lodging?
Niagara Falls is between 2 of the Great Lakes. Do you plan to go into Canada? The view of the Falls is better from the American side (you can touch the water), but food and hotels are better on the Canadian side.
Bayshore Resort in Traverse City. You will be right on the beach of Lake Michigan. Also, try to get to Sleeping Bear Dunes, which is a National lakeshore 49 mins west of there. And end your trip at Marquette to take in the beauty of Lake Superior.
Sleeping bear dunes – and other west Michigan Dunes are really fun for kids. It’s not like regular hiking, let me warn you though. If you don’t have sand dunes where you are it is definitely worth a visit.
Also love Duluth. Go on the gun flint trail, etc. You could drive from there across Wisconsin to the UP and see pictured rocks, which is on my list to see. Duluth is pretty cool and I think seeing Lake Superior with the big barges, etc, is a different experience.
Seeing Lake Michigan from Chicago is also fun. You could drive there, then up to Wisconsin and then take the Badger car ferry over to michigan and go to traverse city/sleeping bear dunes.
I’m biased as a western Great Lakes resident, but there’s a lot to see on this side!
Taking a ferry across is a great idea! So you could drive to Chicago, then Milwaukee, then take the Lake Express Ferry to Ludington, MI, drive up to Traverse City, then Marquette.
Another alternative is the Lake Michigan Circle Tour, which is a scenic drive around Lake Michigan. You only get to see one lake, but the view is gorgeous.
I’m not sure if it will be on your way, but we stayed at the Mountain View Lodges which are cabins on Lake Superior near the Porcupine Mountains in Ontonagon, MI. The cabins are right on the beach and perfect for a family vacation.
Yes to the dunes. I am in my sixties and still remember with great fondness our road trip — when I was a kid — to see the dunes. I loved running down them.
Lake Michigan is fun (Indiana Dunes, and most nice beaches are on the Eastern shore), and you could spend 2 nights in Chicago, as well.
If it’s on your way, Louisville and Indianapolis are worth a visit, as well.
I mean…. There are 5 of them and they are huge. Are you planning to stay in Michigan only? What style of travel? The South Haven area is more yuppie-Chicago-weekenders, Mackinac Island is unique but pricy to stay on, there are the falls of course…
As far as on the way, what cities are near your route? Memphis?
We are just in the beginning stages of planning, so the fact that there are 5 of them and they are huge is part of why I need direction. We are not planning to stay in Michigan only unless that is where all of the good spots are.
Why would you assume she wants to stay in Michigan or even go there?
I guess I was swayed by the earlier replies, but it combines being on the western part of the overall lake area (closer to TX) with being in the middle of 3 of them (efficiency). If the OP is planning like, a week, that’s the logical place, but if this is a 2-3 week jaunt then that opens up a longer itinerary.
So its funny, I’ve lived over half my life in Michigan (left for a chunk and am back) and had an initial that’s a weird vacation plan, then thought, oh I guess they are an experience no different then me not seeing an ocean or palm trees until I was in my 20s. The things we take for granted about where we live and grow up.
Anyway, all that to say, Lake Michigan and Lake Superior are the superior lakes in my opinion (pun intended). Depending on how much time you want to spend, you could drive up the west coast of MI along lake Michigan, stop in Traverse City, then head up over the Mackinac bridge to the upper peninsula and make it to Lake Superior. The first 20 mins of the drive along lake Michigan heading west from the Bridge is absolutely beautiful and you will not believe you are not on the ocean. There are several cool waterfalls in the upper penninsula and if you have engineering/science/boat minded kids I highly recommend visiting the Soo Locks.
Im in the Midwest too and I think this is a weird vacation plan. There’s much more interesting stuff in the continental US.
There’s at least one national park and several national scenic trails and lakeshores maintained by the National Parks Service in and around the Great Lakes, so this is a weird take.
Lots of people vacation there, and I think it’s wonderful that folks from the southwest want to experience it.
I live in Indiana lol. We love the Dunes for a local beach day but it doesn’t compare to the national parks out west or to the scenery in New England. Just because something has national park in its name doesn’t mean it’s worth planning a trip around.
Well, my point is that sometimes people from one area want to experience something beautiful or fun in another area. Maybe they’ve been to New England, or maybe something about the Great Lakes is more attractive to them than New England this time. There are objectively some great spots or else people wouldn’t regularly go there.
I live in a state that people don’t normally think about for vacations (Arkansas), but if someone is traveling here, I can name many places for them to go that are unique, beautiful, fun, etc., and I welcome their tourism dollars and interest.
+1 Agreed, Michigan Upper Peninsula is beautiful and a great summer vacation. We’re just one state away and did a long weekend exploring waterfalls and lakefront and very easily could have spent more time.
Agree to disagree. I’ve spent a lot of time in California and New England and still think those places are infinitely better vacation destinations than the Midwest. Our summer 2020 trip was Michigan (Traverse City area) and the whole time we were there I just couldn’t stop thinking about how badly I wanted the pandemic to be over so we could once again travel to places that are actually interesting and scenic. I really like living in the Midwest but genuinely do not understand why anyone with the budget to go elsewhere would vacation here when places like California, Utah, Maine and Florida exist, to say nothing of Alaska, Hawaii and international destinations.
Not trying to argue, but just discussing a little deeper – FWIW, I wouldn’t vacation to Traverse City, MI either…I wouldn’t put any of the Great Lakes cities (maybe aside from Marquette, MI) on my places to visit lists. But I really think the Michigan UP is a much different experience and totally worthwhile. If you want a vacation with lots of beautiful lakes, waterfalls, good hiking, forests, beaches, a national park on an island, and many less people – Michigan UP is a good experience. Marquette, MI is nice – it doesn’t have to be all backwoods. I also think with elementary age kids, a calmer, less populated areas are terrific options. Even if you have a healthy budget, it’s quite worthwhile to explore areas outside of the major vacation destinations.
My Massachusetts in-laws had so much fun visiting the Midwest! The dunes in Indiana and the Lake Michigan coast are still some of my favorite places, and I live in Washington — no shortage of beauty here.
OP– we drove from Texas to Ohio one year and stopped in a massive cave system in Kentucky (?) that was super cool. Depending on how fast east you’re going, that might be something to look into.
My in-laws just went to the Kentucky caves and my MIL raved about it. She didn’t particularly like anything else in Kentucky but said the caves were definitely worth going to. They were just in Utah doing national parks last year too, so she has perspective.
Counterpoint: I grew up in IL and MI, have lived on the east coast (middle Atlantic) and been a lot of places in the US and several abroad, and I think shanananana’s plan sounds like it could be really interesting. I feel like Lake Superior is a whole different experience from what one usually thinks of as a “lake.”
+1
I agree with your first paragraph. I saw plenty of the ocean growing up, and my mind was blown seeing Lake Michigan for the first time. It is so different! A Great Lakes vacation with my kids is on my bucket list when they get older.
Wow, that sounds like a heck of a drive!
I’m not an expert on the Great Lakes, but obviously they cover a HUGE area (all the way from Northern Minnesota to Chicago to Buffalo), so if you haven’t narrowed down what area of the Great Lakes and what type of trip you’d like, start there. You could have a beach trip, a city trip, a hiking trip, etc. Depending on what type of trip you want will dictate where you should go.
Also, how old are your kids and where in TX are you coming from?
I’ll let others weigh in more on the lakes, but some non-lake aspects of a trip you may enjoy: If your kids like theme parks, Cedar Point is right on the lake (Sandusky, OH) and is fun. We went there with high school / middle age kids a few years ago and they loved it. On that same trip we also went to Cleveland, Detroit and Chicago, and really enjoyed all of the cities.
Are you married to the Great Lakes or are you open to also spending time at other Midwest lakes?
We don’t mind long drives, and we think they are good for the kids. :) They are elementary school aged and we are coming from Houston. We are open to other lakes if they are cool. Thanks for the other tips! I’d say we are looking for a mix because we have enough time to do all of the above (beach, city, hiking).
As a Minnesotan, let me put in a plug for Duluth! A town where you can watch the massive ships come in with good, easy hikes if you start up on the ridge. If you decide to deviate from the Great Lakes specifically, I would recommend going north along the Gunflint trail and staying somewhere like Bearskin Lodge where you can do canoe trips, hiking, fishing, etc.
Agree! It’s historic and charming
Another Minnesotan weighing in to say that Duluth and north to Ely or Grand Marais is beautiful. The state parks are really nice. Lots of good hiking to be had, and it’s very kid friendly.
I would not drive from Texas up to the Great Lakes. If you can afford it, I’d fly to Buffalo or Toronto and rent a car. Start at Niagara Falls. The Canadian side is preferable. Then drive around Lake Erie and spend a day at cedar point in Ohio. Then go up to traverse city or mackinaw island in Michigan. Drive down and go to the Indiana dunes. Finish up in Chicago and fly home. Or you could do it in reverse.
As a counterpoint, DH and I routinely do cross country roadtrips, and grew up doing them too. For longer trips we’re more comfortable in our nicer car, and then you don’t have the expense of the rental. We’re in the upper Midwest and in the last few years we’ve road tripped to the Florida Keys, south Texas, Sedona, New Orleans, Tennessee. We fly sometimes too (California, Las Vegas, a different time to New Orleans) – it just all depends on how much time we have and if we feel like making a road trip about it. It’s just difference preferences, not that one way is right or wrong.
Yes, to each their own. I just meant that most people only have a limited amount of time off and you can see much more of the Great Lakes if you’re not burning four days driving to and from Texas. But everyone’s situation is different.
Mackinaw Island is a sweet place for kids for a day or two – no cars on the island, bikes and horse drawn carriages.
There is a social media person I follow who spends the summers in Michigan (she lives in Florida). They drive up and she posts a lot about their trip – kids are similar age. ETST (enjoy the small things) is her instagram. I think her name is Kelly Hampton.
Wisconsin mom here, and I think the Great Lakes are a terrific destination. Agree that Lakes Michigan and Superior are the best to see. Depending on how long you have for your trip, one itinerary might involve stopping in Kansas City and/or St. Louis on the way up, as well as Chicago and/or Milwaukee, and then heading up the west side of Lake Michigan. If you have football fans you can hit Green Bay, or head out onto the penninsula to Door County. But then you should definitely head to Lake Superior around Bayfield, WI and the Apostle Islands – Madeline Island, a ferry trip from Bayfield, has camping and small inns/cottages. And then if you have time to get that far Duluth, MN (also on Lake Superior) is a terrific little city, with some fun activities for kids. Another possible itinerary would be to do the south to north drive a little further east, hitting the newish civil rights museum in Montgomery, or maybe Memphis and/or Nashville, and then doing the eastern side of Lake Michigan (Traverse City, etc) up to the Upper Penninsula described by a responder above. As you might guess, I love a family road trip!
Yes to all this.
If Northern Indiana is anywhere on your route (Lake Michigan), there are a few Amish communities that might be interesting!
I don’t know why everyone feels the need to sh1t on OP’s vacation plans. Let’s assume a grown woman with kids knows what works for her family.
I’m from the Bay Area and would also like to see the Great Lakes in person someday. My only experience so far has been visiting Chicago.
LOL right? I’m defending the plans up above, but you’d think OP said she was going on one vacation EVER with her kids, and was choosing the Great Lakes. Okay, if it’s ONE vacation EVER then I can see some of the discussion….but I assume the family is going to go other places in their lives too. The Great Lakes are a perfectly nice family summer vacation.
This! I’m surprised about the number of rude comments so early on a Monday! Did you all have horrible weekends because you all woke up this morning and decided to be awful!
I live in the great lakes region.
There is an insane amount of things to see and do over an insanely vast area. You could spend a week in the great lakes region every summer for 20 years and never do the same vacation twice.
Right?! There are many reasons a person might be attracted to one area over another. Not to mention the fact that lots of people in the south and midwest complain that folks from bigger states act like we don’t exist. I’m always happy to share the cool stuff in my area with people from out of state. They almost always have a genuinely great time and tell me that they were surprised at how beautiful and fun the trip was.
The great lakes are awesome! You’ll find something cool to do no matter where you end up.
One thing, though, if you end up going swimming at any point, make sure you treat the lakes like you would the ocean. These are inland seas with waves and rip tides and undertoes…
I’m from Minnesota and love the Great Lakes for family vacations. The area tends to be less touristy and is still beautiful :-) With those ages, I’d suggest starting in Duluth, doing some hiking on the North Shore, then heading east along the northern edge of Wisconsin. Bayfield is beautiful and if you’re feeling adventurous you can go out to the Apostle Islands, or at least kayaking in the sea caves on Lake Superior. End your trip in Door County, which is like heaven for kids – great beaches, lake activities, and if you’re there in July it’s high season for cherries. Alternative route would be like some suggested below – drive through Chicago up the west coast of Michigan to Sleeping Bear dunes (went there a few years ago and it was a gorgeous area), spend some time in Charlevoix, then go up through the UP for waterfalls & hikes. If you’re a football fan, stop at Lambeau Field as you pass through Green Bay.
Always ready for hot pink!
I like this dress but if I’m being honest I will never ever in a million years pay $600 for a work dress!
Yeah this is gorgeous but a) so expensive and b) not size inclusive.
The problem with $600 for a hot pink dress is that it’s going to cost a small fortune per wear. Not that I would spend $600 on a black work dress either, but you could wear a neutral dress every week or two for a couple of years. Hot pink? That gets trotted out a few times a year, tops.
For you, maybe! I wear hot pink at least weekly.
The same piece of hot pink clothing?
No, but I could get away with wearing the same dress more than a few times per year!
But let’s say you wear it every third week. At 17 times per year and maybe 3-4 years, it’s costing you $10 per wear.
Yeah, it’s expensive. Like every other piece of clothing featured here on Mondays. Your original problem was with the color, so I don’t know what to tell you.
I would never drop that kind of money on something with such limited wearability, no matter how much i liked it.
If I ever had $600 to drop on a single piece I had better be able to wear it almost daily for at least a decade
I don’t know, but I had a hot pink coat dress trimmed in navy in the early 90s (ah the 90s) and I wore that sucker all the time. It was great.
$600 for a polyester dress? Wow. No thank you
sartorial advice- have a saturday morning bar mitzah first week of may (NYC so it definitely be cold. Planning on wearing long knife pleated skirt and cashmere sweater in the same very pale pink. have nude flats that look pale pink with outfit which i think i will wear. What would you carry for a bag? the options i have in house are saddle or a mustardy yellow… thoughts?
Mustard yellow. Saddle tan is too casual.
What color is saddle? Personally I loathe yellow so I wouldn’t wear that. Also I’m in NYC it’s going to be in the 80s this week idk why you’re assuming May will be cold. I
why is this post so nasty?
How is this nasty? We are New Yorkers!
It’s direct but I wouldn’t call it nasty.
-fellow NY person
It didn’t read nasty to me either. Fwiw I’m a Midwesterner, who finds NYC crowded and overwhelming. :)
I was also baffled by the comment about NYC being cold in May. My state is colder than NYC and we have temps in the upper 70s this week. May is usually really nice in NYC.
Welcome to New York.
And I feel the need to point out there are truly nasty posts pretty regularly on here and this one is not one of them. This one is just direct.
I would wear saddle (assuming a warm brown). But I would have a backup plan for your outfit for milder weather. The mid-Atlantic is balmy right now – it will be in the 70s and 80s this week.
if it’s warm i have plenty of summery options. it was the cold but spring like that was giving me pause. thanks.
I love pink and mustard yellow as a color combination, so that’s my choice.
+1. I also think yellow and pale pink look nice together.
+1
I think saddle would go better with pale pink.
The saddle sounds nice with pink.
I’d go with the saddle colored bag (I’m assuming that’s a mid-toned tan?).
I feel like this is your excuse to buy a little bag you will wear for occasions like this going forward. I’d buy one to match your shoes. Maybe beaded. Go hog wild!
Either color is great. I’d choose the dressier of the two bags (so clutch over handbag, or leather over cloth).
(Your outfit sounds super cute!)
PSA: Sephora just released their sunscreen sampler for this year, called Sun Safety Kit. Been waiting for this!
Thanks for the heads up, I love trying this and having sample sizes to throw in bags!
Ooh thank you! I’ve been wanting to upgrade my daily sunscreen game but didn’t know where to start.
Ooh thank you! I buy it every year.
And their sale is coming up next week!
Looking for mattress recs….we ordered a Nectar in January and I’ve been having low back and neck pain the last couple weeks. I chalked it up to bad posture, but now I’m getting radiating hip pain. The only thing that’s really changed is the mattress, so I think we need to start our search from scratch. The Nectar is just way too soft. We’re looking at Amerisleep, but interested in any recs you might have! Ideally medium firm.
If you’re interested in a more classic innerspring, I love my Saatva mattress. I have the “firm” (and like a firmer mattress) but the “luxury firm” is probably closer to what you’re looking for.
Adding to this: I chose the firm, but ended up with the luxury firm. I am a petite person, and my hands and arms would go numb sleeping on the firm (side sleeper). Saatva indicted that this is not uncommon for small people with their firm and recommended switching to the luxury firm.
What is your budget? If it’s high, I cannot recommend Tempurpedic highly enough. I got mine about a year and a half ago and have never had such great sleep consistently. I have a medium firm one with the cooling technology. My boyfriend sleeps hot and doesn’t get too hot in it.
Agree. Totally worth the high price tag.
Counterpoint if OP suffers from soft mattress, Tempur might not be what they are looking for.
OP – if you do better with medium to firm support, look into mattresses with pocket springs. Simmons Beautyrest is my go to and I’ve had back issues since HS. Sealy also has a line with pocket spring mattresses I think – they are pretty supportive but a bit more creaky than I like.
Oh not the OP of this thread obvs!
I don’t find the Tempurpedic to be soft. To me, it feels like when you lay on the sand at the beach, with that support, but not as hard as sand.
I love my tempurpedic but we’ve had it 3 years and we have some pretty big sagging happening. Maybe it’s happening at a slower rate than other mattresses I’ve owned, but DH recently was away and I slept in the middle of the bed and OMG the difference…. Is that normal/just unavoidable no matter how expensive or good the “technology”?
This sounds like possibly a defect? I’ve had one for going on 8 years now and there’s absolutely no sagging. But it’s also not a hybrid mattress, so maybe those are more prone to sagging?
I have had mine almost 9 years and I don’t have this issue.
Saatva Leaf & Loom. Bought off recommendations here and couldn’t be happier. Have had for3+ years.
Plushbeds
I don’t know why people insist on buying mattresses online. Go to a mattress store and lie down on a mattress. Try several.
The other advantage of a mattress store is that they will take away your old mattress when they deliver.
Recommend shopping at Macy’s or Costco. Both will take a return if you don’t like your mattress. Macy’s charges a restock fee, but that’s worth it if you don’t like the one you get. I got a beautyrest black three years ago and it’s firm or extra firm. The mattress saleslady there, who had been doing this 20(!) years, told me that many brands are calling things medium firm or medium that used to be soft.
Personally, I also find full-foam mattresses not supportive enough. I would look for a hybrid innerspring. I really love my mattress, and I too made the switch after back pain from sleeping was repeated, and I determined it was due to a worn-out mattress.
Good morning! I need to get a security camera to watch the back of my house, unfortunately. I’d love recommendations for companies/models. I have a SimpliSafe security system, but the reviews of the SimpliSafe camera are not great. Thanks!
We have a Eufy doorbell cam and have been happy with it. One time purchase, no subscription required.
We have a google nest through ADT (but I think you can just set up the nest?) and it works great.
Arlo is pretty easy to install and use. We got ours through BestBuy.
We bought Blink cameras for our two back doors and for our garage area. I like them. Currently I’ve paid for a year of cloud storage for the clips, but you can also buy a flash drive type thing to put into the “base” device and not pay for online storage.
We have coach lights from Kuna with integrated cameras and we love them! (You can also get matching lights without cameras, if you don’t need a camera in every light.). We have one outside our back door. It is motion activated, so it lets you know when something moves. We have that one set for the light to come on when the camera is activated and the front lights are set for dusk to dawn. There is an app where you can see the live feed from the camera, the recent recordings, and you can hear/speak as well if you want to talk to a delivery person, for example.
What are your favorite healthy or healthy-ish “convenience foods”. My work schedule just ramped up so I’m looking for some quick, easy, or grab-and-go snacks or meals I can keep stocked either in my condo or my office.
I eat everything, try to get lots of protein (90+g a day) and fresh fruit and veggies into my diet but I’m struggling to do so right now. Shelf-stable foods would be great, but I can also do perishables, refrigerated, or frozen (though I have a very small freezer). It’s been harder than usual for me to get to the store on a regular basis and to cook / meal prep the way I usually do. Right now I’m relying on smoothies + protein powder to get my fruit / veg / protein, which is fine, but I need solid food too!
Bagged salads have been my cheap/fast/not junk go-to for years. If needed, one can mix up the dressing and eat straight from the bag (I keep a bowl & silverware at work).
Same here! When I’m in a busy phase, I’ll get bagged salads, canned tuna, shelled edamame, and pre-cooked chicken and mix a protein in with the salad for a filling meal with lots of veggies.
Also if you have a Trader Joe’s in your area, this is their sweet spot. They’ve got tons of pre-cut veggies, salads, hearty soups, and other convenience foods.
I find it hard to make myself eat spring green or microgreen type blends, but if I toss them in soup, they cook down to nothing and I can easily eat them that way. I can also toss them in the freezer if I think I’m not going to finish them on time, and then add them to soups from the freezer.
If I’m super busy I order Thistle meals. You have to heat the dinners in a pan but at least there’s no real cooking. That plus lentil soup checks my veggie boxes.
Over the weekend batch cook healthy and options and keep them in your freezer. I like chicken meatballs, vegetable soup, and lightly breaded chicken breasts. Keep charcuterie options on hand so you can graze (prosciutto, nuts, grapes, hard cheese, olives, jarred marinated artichokes or peppers, multigrain crackers). Apples with nut butter or cheese. Single serve microwavable oatmeal packets are great with nuts and frozen berries. If you like tofu I eat cubes of it cold with soy sauce as a snack. Buy a rotisserie chicken at the grocery store then make lazy woman’s tacos for dinner (jarred salsa and avocado).
YMMV, but “batch cooking” to me is not a solution during busy times. It takes up precious weekend time right when I need it most and takes forever.
Yeah, I batch cook / meal prep a ton during normal periods but I don’t have the time or energy for it during busy periods.
My freezer is small (apartment size fridge) so I can’t batch cook and freeze meals in advance. I have some frozen leftovers in there, but not enough to subsist off of.
I can’t cook either.
But for “snacks” that have high protein (or fast meals) I have bags of pre-cooked edemame (Trader’s) in the fridge, humus (eat with raw carrots and cherry tomatoes), hardboiled eggs (made in my egg cooker so make in bulk once a week and takes zero time), piece of cheese, tuna from a can, smoked salmon, tofu that is pre-marinated.
1. Find a hummus brand you adore and then cut up an apple with one of those core and wedge tools and smear on some hummus; dip red, yellow, and orange pepper strips in hummus; dip grape tomatoes in hummus.
2. Combine one drained can of tuna in oil or sardines in oil with a microwaved bag of Ben’s brown rice, along with any sort of dressing (more oil with lemon juice, lime juice, or vinegar; a spoonful or two of mayonnaise and/or Greek yogurt; a tiny touch of dill relish; a tiny dab of mustard); mix well and enjoy! (This will look like disgusting cat food, but it’s tasty and good for you.)
Applegate chicken tenders with vegetables or on salad. Frozen and maybe not the most amazing in the entire world, but they definitely fill the convenience purpose.
If it’s something you can throw money at Factor meals have been great for us during busy times. Multiple dietary needs, fresh not frozen, heat in 2 minutes and surprisingly delicious.
+1 – we do factor a few nights a week to relieve the stress of planning and cooking and it’s healthier than takeout
I will look into Factor! I haven’t heard of them before.
https://www.factor75.com/plans?c=HS-KYR29HC5C&plans_ab=true&utm_campaign=clipboard&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=raf-share-hpt
Here’s a referral code if you’d like, no idea if it’s better than other available coupons
“That’s it” bars are a good shelf stable fruit option. As the name suggests it is a a couple of fruits pressed together into bar form (like an apple and a pear). For snack options with protein I like the Pure Protein bars (have 20g of protein).
But I would just make sure to place a grocery delivery order to your condo with fresh fruit (apples, pears, clementines, berries are my favorites) and vegetables (or a pre cut up veggie tray if you are pressed for time) in it and include bagged salad and some pre-cooked chicken for lunch and I like to add peanut butter and hummus to go with the apples and veggies.
A cut up veggie tray is a great idea, thanks!
I know you said solid foods but I’m putting in a vote for the premier protein drinks. They’re shelf-stable although you would want to drink it over ice, 30g protein, 160-ish calories, 1g sugar. I like the cafe latte and vanilla flavors.
I have not tried these yet, I’ll give them a try!
We get them from Costco when they are on sale. Best price. Great nutrition, lower calorie, good flavor options.
Kind bars, plain yogurt, nuts, Trader Joe’s salads. Is there a reason you’re on a high protein diet? That’s a ton of protein.
I work out and compete in triathlons; my trainer and dietician recommend between 85-100g a day for me.
I knew I prioritized protein and was aiming for more than most but didn’t realize it was a very high number compared to other diets?
While it varies, obviously, 20-40g of protein is enough for the average person.
Americans seem to have a weird obsession with protein (not aimed at OP who is working with a trainer and dietician and has a specific athletic need)!
I don’t think that’s right. I’m working with a dietician and she recommended 85g per day and I just do group fitness classes 3-5 times a week, nothing too intense. She also noted that most people she works with don’t eat enough protein.
Fair enough, but I would not say the average person works out 3-5 times a week . . .
20-40g of protein is way low! The rule of thumb is .36g for protein per lb for sedentary adults, and more generally active adults and even more for adults training for things!
So, the average, sedentary 150lb woman would need 54g of protein a day. But that would be someone who doesn’t work out, has a desk job, and doesn’t have an active (walking or biking) commute.
20g is way too low unless you are tiny. Studies are showing that many health markers improve with more protein, especially with aging.
The average person needs far more than 20 grams of protein a day.
Maybe I just know active people, but I would definitely say that the average person (that I know at least) works out 3x a week and requires more than 20-40g of protein a day!
Per day I think 40g could be fine for small people, but for me it’s more like 50g minimum. I say this as a vegetarian with no real interest in protein. 20g is a bit too low.
I would put 6 days a week including 3 days of all body lifting…I aim for 125g of protein to maintain muscle strength. I am 54 years old.
“Work out 6 days a week”
A couple super quick dinners I do that generally only make 1 dirty pan :
-Scrambled egg with sautéed spinach with toast (takes less than 10 minutes and I do it in 1 big pan and just keep the eggs on 1 side and spinach on another. Spinach comes pre-washed in a bag so that makes it easy. Sometimes I add cheese if I have it. You could add mushrooms which you can also buy pre-washed and sliced or a turkey sausage which you can cook from frozen.
-Stir fry — I use noodles that you cook in the microwave (like ramen), buy a package of pre-washed stir fry veggies which usually comes with sauce, sometimes I add extra snap peas or peppers if I have some or a frozen vegetable, pre-cooked chicken or some eggs and a little thai chilli and that all cooks up in about 10 minutes in 1 pan.
They aren’t super exciting dinners but they are fast, contain protein and vegetables, and are quick to clean up. And then I eat a yogurt and some fruit if I’m up late working as my late night snack.
Thank you – I’m not a huge egg person so they’re not on my radar but you’re right it’s very quick and easy protein!
Steamable veggies – if you can do a bag of those with whatever else you do for lunch / dinner, it will go a long way to getting some healthy nutrients in. At home with a stove, canned veggies are also great – just need to heat it for a minute or two and you have simple veggies. Then all you need is a protein, and you can consider just cooking a large batch every 3 days or so to use in salads and reheat for dinner. Trader Joe’s has pre cooked chicken breasts you can toss into a salad or quickly heat up. And I second arranging for weekly delivery of groceries and making sure it includes fresh fruits and nuts. Just grabbing a piece of fruit and some nuts or peanut butter is a healthy and zero effort snack or addition to a meal. I also like Emergen-C when I’m busy – it’s a great afternoon pick me up instead of a soda. For shelf stable things, stock up on some rice (effortless in a rice cooker or buy the 90-second microwaveable pouches for a quick office meal), instant oatmeal, dried fruit, nuts, canned tuna and beef jerky, and bars (I love Clif and Kind bars). All of these can be substantive enough for a small meal or snack and go well with lots of other things.
Thanks for reminding me about the TJs pre-cooked chicken, I used to love those in grad school and can definitely go back to eating them!
For lots of protein and shelf stability, I like the chicken siracha Epic bars.
Trader Joe’s cooked lentils – in the veggie section. They keep forever and are great for a salad lunch or a dinner with an egg on top and as many veggies as you can muster the energy to add (one super easy option is to sauté them with the pre-chopped mirepoix mix they also sell or to make a salad of lentils, baby beets – same section – goat cheese and walnuts). All of these things keep well so I always try to have on hand.
I just went through my industry’s busy cycle in January-February-March. I ate a lot of Amazon Kitchens meals, which are refrigerated, not frozen. I don’t know if Amazon go or Amazon Fresh delivery is an option where you live, but it worked out really well for me. And I re-use the containers.
Oh I have never heard of those before, will definitely check it out!
Kevin’s meal kits. Almonds. Macadamia nuts. String cheese. Dark chocolate. Cottage cheese with maple syrup. Mozzarella and tomato salad (baby mozza and baby plum for ease) w babyleaf salad (prewashed). Preboiled eggs with rice and soy sauce. Tofu. Hazlenut butter. Greek yogurt. Frozen spinach, broccoli, and cauliflower. Prechopped and frozen veggies. Pomegranate seeds. Precupt Butternut squash (microwave cook). Frozen mackerel (pop in the oven 15-20 mins to cook).
Trader Joe’s premade meals (the shelf stable indian foods, frozen meals, premade salads) and grab-and-go fruits like apples, oranges, and bananas are my go-to.
Honestly, Lean Cuisine.
Frozen veggies that are pre-seasoned and all you have to do is either microwave or stick in the oven. I’m currently eating some leftover broccoli cauliflower mix from Bird’s Eye, made for roasting in the oven. Also seconding the bagged salads. Chobani complete yogurt drinks are easy for on the go protein, about 20 grams I think. Yogurt with granola and fresh berries is super easy and can be a good source of protein. Good for breakfast or a snack. Baby carrots that are prewashed for dipping into hummus or anything else. Bananas on toast with peanut butter. Scrambled eggs with any additions of your choice wrapped up in a tortilla.
A couple of weeks ago the featured pick was the Michael Stars Wren dress. It is sold out everywhere I’m looking in my size in black. Lots of people commented that they like black midi dresses like that one for summer – could you all drop similar recs here? Thanks.
Marine Layer Lexi is similar to the Michael Stars. A bit thicker, no rouching but gets equal billing in my wardrobe with the Wren.
THANKS! This looks great.
I just got a similar ribbed tank dress from Target, from their Universal Thread line, that isn’t exactly the same as the Michael Stars dress, but I think it’s pretty close and I can use it in the same way I have used tank dresses in the past: on summer weekends, with a light denim jacket or big linen shirt over it, and flat sandals. It’s the Women’s Ribbed Tank Dress – Universal Thread on Target’s website.
The Leith Ruched Body-Con Sleeveless Dress has been a staple at Nordstrom and is now available at Nordstrom Rack online. Jean at Extra Petite did a review of it on her blog a few years ago. The black is super easy to dress up or down!
Treasure and Bond at Nordstrom has had similar midi dresses in previous seasons
Love is Blind chaos!! Y’all – I think this may be my favorite LiB season?
SPOILERS
– I feel better about Tiffany and Brett, but the editing and the preview are really throwing me for a loop!
– Micah needs to maybe stop drinking for a while. Paul and Micah maybe should date, but it’s such a silly construct for these two to play-act at getting married. Shelby the friend is still the worst. But? Micah seems to like Paul more than I thought?
– I did not need the Kwame/Chelsea cliffhanger. If Kwame says yes, this will be the biggest plot twist of all time. Have you guys heard that his call with his mom may have been faked? And I absolutely did not need their boudoir photo shoot, particularly because there seems to be such an imbalance between their levels of commitment/ attraction.
I just desperately want an LGBTQ friendly gender neutral season. Not for like political reasons I just think it would be really entertaining
I thought the same while watching this batch of episodes! But I guess it would take some doing to figure out those logistics.
– It was a bachelorette party, who cares if Micah got drunk. Her friends seem like mean drunk messes though.
– Poor Marshall deserves better than Jackie. She has enough self awareness to joke about working on herself but she doesn’t take action to resolve her self-destructive tendencies.
– I don’t know what to make of Chelsea. She seems smart and well adjusted but sometimes she’s so earnest that I get secondhand embarrassment watching her. I think Kwame will dump her at the altar because of his mom or they’ll break up once Chelsea realizes he’s not trying to settle down anytime soon.
-I hope Chelsea is watching and realizes the huge imbalance in their feelings for one another. Kwame’s sister, Barbara is the SIL we all hope to have. She stole the show, IMO.
-Paul is only there to collect analytics.
-Brett and Tiffany are perfect for each other (screw the editing; the wedding will go off perfectly).
-Bliss’s dad is an A-hole.
-Jackie is trash. Get it together girl. Marshall dodged a bullet.
I started to wonder: is it possible that Chelsea has been so over the top with her emotions in an effort to induce a reciprocal, emotional reaction from Kwame? It seems it would be impossible to ignore Kwame’s obvious lack of interest in her or this process. So is she just desperately trying to get him to engage?
I’m still catching up – I think I started the wedding dress/tux episode. But OMG THIS SEASON!
I’m really rooting for Tiffany and Brett (aren’t we all?) so will be upset if editing was misleading here. I loved the dinner with Brett’s friends and the conversation about generational poverty and building a Black family.
Michah’s friend Shelby is that “friend” that folks have to warn others about that is usually deeply extra (not in a good way) and insecure/judgemental. I thought this only existed until college but clearly it continues…
Kwame’s call with his mom LOOKED fake! Also I feel for Chelsea, she’s really into him and he seems like…not AS into her, but he definitely knows she’s solid and they could have a good life together. I also don’t get his whole “I’m compromising big” – it seems like his compromises aren’t as much about the logistics but like on settling down, despite him saying he wants to…
Some old season thoughts: Marshall seems…really solid. I appreciated when he was like “She just wants that toxic kind of love”. Get him together with my girl Inez from perfect match, please!!!!!!!! Also, Bartiste now has a kid…? I’ve been trying to do the math between Perfect Match and the baby and I feel like the mum must have been expecting while he was running around on reality tv…
I suspect the mom didn’t agree to televise their phone conversation so the producers made Kwame reenact his side of it. I completely agree that Kwame isn’t making compromises. He’s agreeing to live in the city where the show was based and have children before Chelsea’s fertility declines. That’s not meeting halfway, that’s the bare minimum to make their relationship work.
I agree with what Bliss’s dad said but the way he said it makes him a condescending jerk. He kept cutting Bliss off and talking down to her.
Yes! Marshall and Ines is an excellent idea, I’d love to see it.
Brett and Tiffany simply must work out, I refuse to believe anything else.
Micah is fine on her own but she seems to attract mean girl friends. I like her and Paul together but I do think they should just date for a while.
My boyfriend and I have been loving this season. Such chaos! Love the drama.
– Tiffany and Brett seem perfect for each other and I’m convinced the previews are just to drum up drama since they’ve been solid basically the whole time.
– Micah needs better friends. I actually like Micah and Paul together, but I agree they should just date.
– I love Kwame’s sister. I could actually see Kwame saying yes, but we’ll see. Did not like that cliff hanger. That boudoir shoot was so odd and uncomfortable. It seemed like his mom didn’t agree to have her portion of the call televised so either they edited out her audio or he reenacted it, that’s what I think anyway.
– Jackie is a mess, she did Marshall dirty and seems to have no self-awareness or capacity to take responsibility for anything. Like why is she upset with him? He didn’t do anything but try to make it work with her. She’s awful. Glad to see her go, Marshall deserves much better.
– Not sure about Zack and Bliss. I feel like Bliss is trying to convince herself this is a good idea, but I’m not convinced lol. Her dad made good points, but in a really jerky way.
– That whole “now is the time to decide if love is blind” that the officiant says in all the weddings makes me lol every single time. It’s so ridiculous!
YES TO THIS THREAD!!!!! I have been DYING to post about this season of LiB and almost got a fake account on Twitter just to contribute.
As an African, I think Kwame is an embarrassment. period! I think he is in it for the fame, just like Micah and Irina and Jacky were.
I love Tiffany and Brett and can’t wait for them to unveil their happily ever after on IG… yes, I even started following them on Instagram because I just know they are perfect. I have no room in me for an alternative ending.
For Zack and Paul, I am convinced that they were paid extra to pick their (initial) choices, not for love, but for good TV drama. It is the only rational conclusion I have for why Zack, even after Bliss bakes him birthday cupcakes, would still pick Irina. He had already while in the pods said she had a mean girl/scary attitude so why would he want that except for TV airtime? Interestingly, I can see Micah and Paul going the whole length to ‘I Do’s. They are perfect opposites and sometimes those surprise you.
This season is the most I have been invested since Cameron and Lauren. I cannot wait for the reunion!
YES.
– Kwame and Chelsea both give me major ick. He seems self-hating and I haven’t heard him say many positive things about Chelsea other than how much he enjoys how “into him” she is. His objections to moving to Seattle (when the show is based there) and that fake “call” with his mother feel like preludes to a no at the altar. On the other hand, Chelsea gives me fetishizing vibes. I just really don’t need to hear any more about how much she enjoys gardening with Kwame.
– Micah and Irina are the worst. Find it mildly entertaining that Paul chose a woman who looks like a younger version of his mother?
– I’m happy for Tiffany and Brett — they also demonstrate why you need to balance out the mid-twenties crazies with at least one couple in their mid to late thirties. They just seem like two sensible adult people who would’ve dated each other had they met outside the show. That said, I find their storyline pretty dull compared to the others (which isn’t a problem!)
Late to this thread but so glad I didn’t miss it!! Love this show. I definitely think Tiffany and Brett will get married, they seem very genuine. Maybe Zach and Bliss – she seems great. I have been so confused about Kwame. He does not seem as into it and also seems like he still likes Micah. Whenever they talk, he always looks at her with such affection. I would not be ok with that if I were Chelsea. I do like Chelsea but yikes that photo shoot was too much TMI!
You can just always tell a Fold dress. Such sharp clothing. I wish I was still wearing business clothes to work.
Love The Fold so much, as well. I have found Harper Rose at N*rdstr*m offers pretty good replicas for many of The Fold’s clothes.
I’m going to start using a straw to drink my coffee because I’m tired of it staining my teeth. Any recommendations for favorite reusable straws for hot drinks?
I like thick glass smoothie straws for my reusables – washes well in the machine, no taste. Mine are made in Germany, they were early with the more earth friendly options.
I also have glass straws, regular thickness (not smoothie thick) and like them. The box came with a mini brush, but I run them through the dishwasher which is enough usually. Since they are glass, you can easily see whether they got clean.
What’s the brand name?
I also use thick glass straws & throw them in the dishwasher. I have a set that have little glass cherries on the stem and they spark a lot of joy–they’re brand JIMJUE on jeff bezos’ website.
I would go with silicone since it won’t heat up like glass.
I bought a 4-pack of silicone reusable straws at Target. Dishwasher safe, and I clean the insides with a little brush first. I prefer silicone since it doesn’t heat up and won’t break if it gets dropped on the floor.
BigLaw Partners – How did you finance your buy-in? Also how much was it, and what year?
DH is likely up for partner and we’re trying to figure this out. We do have the cash on hand if needed but he mentioned it’s pretty standard for folks to take out a line of credit for this.
TIA!
I did it from cash on hand. I like that if and when I decide to leave, I don’t have to wrestle with the loan, and when I made partner a year ago our financial advisor said it was a good place as any for the money given everything going on.
His firm probably has a relationship with a bank that does this for everyone needing it in his office. He should ask there.
I wasn’t BigLaw, but that’s what I did for my MidLaw buy-in.
Not big law so the buy-in may have been smaller, but for DH’s we used a $50k 401(k) loan. We were able to pay it back pretty quickly once he made partner.
Biglaw partner here. I financed the buy-in and most other new partners at my firm do as well. His firm should have a relationship with 1-2 banks that offer favorable terms. He can talk to his Finance department or junior partners to get a sense of terms.
Make sure you consider the tax implications. I’m not in the US, but the internet on the loan to finance the capital requirement is tax deductible here, so most people finance their capital loans.
I would finance this. The firm likely has a bank that everyone works with. Firms sometimes trap your money for years after you leave and I would not want them to have real money.
My firm allows new partners to buy-in over time so that no one has to finance anything.
Hive help needed! I am going to a conference in Orlando in the first half of May. I have never been to Florida. How muggy and hot will it be outdoors? I am debating if I should stick to my usual conference attire (trousers or nice jeans, sleevless top, blazer) or if I should adapt it to the heat (summer wiejgt work dressed, lighter blaser). Obviously, comfortable shoes.
My hesutation is not the dress code but the heat vs air-consitioning, i.e. trying to decide which will be the lesser evil in this time and place. I have never been to another conference so far down south.
Bonus question – I will arrive early. Is there anything at all worth seeing in Orlando by someone who is absolutely not in the least ininterested by theme parks and resorts? Like any old area at all, or a cute walkable downtown? I will be a day early, in a nice hotel on International Drive so not downtown per se, but I could get a Uber/cab. Or should I just relax by the pool and not bother?
Not sure what here got me stuck in mod?
A/C may be arctic, so I’d add a fleece or layer that is warm and goes with the rest of various outfits. Play all the tennis and enjoy the pools.
It will probably be pretty hot and muggy outside, but Florida overcompensates and overly air conditions everything, so dress in layers. (Fun fact: each state gets 2 statues in the US Capitol. One of Florida’s is the guy that invented an early version of air conditioning). I would stick with your usual conference attire. You probably won’t be outside much anyway.
+1 we lived in Florida for a year and this is spot on. You need layers for the AC. Your normal conference attire is perfect.
For your day early, if it was me I’d be planning to rent a car for a day and drive to one of the Gulf beaches. The gulf side beaches aren’t the closest to Orlando, but when it’s really hot the gulf beaches are just so wonderful and my favorite. Alternatively, Wekiwa Springs State Park is around 30 minutes from downtown Orlando. I think the natural springs in northern Florida are kind of a hidden treasure. I’ve done a paddle board tour in the springs by myself, or there are also glass-bottom boat tours that look really cool.
A really random thing we can’t get up north – if you are near a Publix for lunch, the chicken tender sub from the deli area. DH always gets at least one every time we’re back in Publix land.
I. Love. Publix.
Are the Gulf beaches the ones about to be hit with the giant seaweed?
I think it’s the east coast beaches.
Assume it will be hot out and freezing inside. Trousers that breathe rather than jeans. Swap the sleeveless top to something with short sleeves so its easier to take the blazer off if its warm. Possibly a lightweight silk scarf for inside that can stuff in a purse or pocket for outside. (I know scarfs are “out” but I love them and find them too useful to give up. I’ve made it my thing)
In my experience traveling to FL three times per year for meetings, the outside may be miserable but the inside may be freezing! I made good use of my airplane pashmina type thing during meetings. But then when we went to dinner there was walking involved and it was hot hot hot. Lots of the restaurants were indoor/outdoor (like no front wall), so all I can say is layers. If you’re wearing your standard conference attire, make sure you like your outfit with your jacket off as well as on.
Been to many a conference in Orlando and June for years. Very hot and humid outside and tbh when you’re in the convention center it’s comfortable but not cold. My uniform’: sleeveless sheath dress in lighter fabrics, 2-3 inch heel sandals or dressy flip flops. Take a jardigan or similar if you want the option to cover up. I can’t do pants, blazer, layers etc. in that climate. Locally, the theme parks are the draw….there’s some shopping, golf and great restaurants
Speaking of Florida, has anyone read the new novel “The Light Pirate” about climate change that shuts down Florida?
Yes and I thought about it for days and days after. My mom liked it, too.
I read it straight through in four hours yesterday. We live about 2 1/2 miles from the ocean, and I cannot stop thinking about it. Not just the Nature part about water covering my house and our grocery store, but also the almost immediate loss of civil society — no phones, no hospitals, no banks, nothing. I can’t get it out of my mind.
Threadjack… I have a huge, room-sized beautiful, old oriental rug that’s been in my family for a long time. I’ve sent it out to be cleaned multiple times, always using the same cleaners, always fine with the results. Last week it came back and the fringe on one side had been sawed off, like halved in length. On the other side, one of the corners of fringe had been trimmed, so it’s round on the corner. On one side of the rug itself, there are little white flecks. Quite likely none of these issues are going to be visible to anyone but me, but… they are there, and I’m in shock. It’s literally like you had one job… to get it clean… not to damage it! I have to say something – probably in writing – but I don’t know what to say. It’s not an antique per se, and a lot of the value is probably sentimental, but… it’s a gorgeous rug, worth a lot, and it’s really disfigured, if only to me. Should I ask the company to pay for restoration? I’m just really at a loss and would appreciate any suggestions.
Absolutely ask. Good luck.
Definitely let them know what happened. If I were the owner I’d want to know we had damaged (!) a long-time customer’s rug, and I’d bend over backwards to try to make it right. I hope they respond quickly.
Yes! Definitely let them know.
Would that be covered under your homeowner’s or renter’s policy, if the store won’t pay to restore it?
I agree. And you probably have photos of the previous condition, right? If only in the background of family photos? So send those along.
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!
Okay, so last night’s episode…I can’t decide if it was brilliant or overly tedious? Like it was either an amazing depiction of complicated family grief or it really just belabored the “is this real?” point for waaaaay too long. Especially since the whole show has pretty much been about this. Thoughts?
Either way, I am excited for what this plot point means for the rest of the season!
I think this was one the best episodes of the whole show. I never doubted for a second that it was real. It seemed immediately obvious that everyone was taking it seriously and thought it did an amazing job of capturing the confusion and chaos of sudden death. All the wealth and power in the world doesn’t make you immortal or give you a beautiful death scene where you’re in control, and I thought this was the perfect way to show that.
This plot point was inevitable and given that, I thought they did it so well. The acting was just amazing. It really confirmed for me why I am so obsessed with this show.
(And having been there personally, the “is this real” was all too familiar)
I thought it was pretty brilliant – the whole series started with Logan having a stroke and then everyone sort of moved on when they should have been plotting it out. I am so jazzed about the estate part. Marcia’s still married to Logan, Kerry isn’t pregnant as far as we know (but it would be Logan’s baby), Connor basically has just a trust fund (?) and then the three kids plus Caroline have the biggest shares of the company. What about Logan’s brother? Did he really completely divest? WHAT ABOUT GERRI? Gerri has the lawsuit of the century, doesn’t she?
The thing I love the most about this show is that while my style sensibility is definitely Nan Pierce with a side of Karolina, I find myself rooting for Shiv and Kendall and Roman over and over again.
Nan Pierce with a side of Karolina is hilarious. Karolina was my hair idol in seasons 1-2.
I will always root for the kids. They’re f***ed up, but it’s clear how they got that way.
I think about this waaaaaay too much – I want Shiv’s clothing budget, but her clothes (and hair and jewelry) are all wrong all the time. I’m more of a coastal grandma like Nan Pierce than a Cool Girl like Naomi Pierce, but I don’t know if I’m boss enough to wear a frumpy neck scarf $5 Goody headband like Nan did to sell the family company for what, $10 billion? Karolina just has a cool city edge that I want so much.
Driving the price up to $10 b while complaining that talking about money is so distasteful, all while wearing a $5 Goody headband and comfort shoes is a lewk.
OMG, surely Kerry can’t be pregnant?! I didn’t even think of that possibility! Speaking of hair, her slightly too long but perfectly trimmed bangs always kind of bothered me. Like it always looks like a wig (probably is in real life).
She looks like a muppet to me.
The kids mentioned last season that Kerry was trying to get pregnant.
Her reaction on the plane was awful – everyone gets a pass for how they handle grief, but I don’t think it was grief in a heartbroken sort of way, more a “well, there go my plans” way.
There was some talk about that at Caroline’s wedding – apparently Kerry was coaxing Logan to drink some sort of awful smoothie. It would be very Murdoch / Pritzker – y if Kerry was pregnant – real life morally challenged rich guys apparently looooooooove to try and get their youngest kids treated as grandkids in favor of their adult children. To be clear (because I’m paranoid) there is a rumor that Rupert Murdoch tried that with his youngest kids and his wife was like, “oh hell no.”
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2003/05/andrews200305
OMG it was amazing! My husband didn’t believe it was real until we read all the articles online this morning, but I knew it was and I loved every minute of it.
I am a huge Connor-and-Willa-lover and I was glad they went ahead and got married.
As for Gerri, I suspect at this point she and Roman are the only ones who know Logan wanted her out, and they will both conveniently forget.
That scene with Connor and Willa was very sweet, where they were face to face and Connor asked if it was just the money. At least they have an honest relationship!
I also kind of love how honest she is. But like…she’s honest without being brutally honest, which almost makes me respect her in a way. And her response totally made sense – she knows what makes her happy and it isn’t necessarily being in love.
Karolina knew about Logan wanting both Gerry and Syd out (both senior women, how shocking) so I wonder what she will do about it. Logan barked it at her when he was boarding the plane.
And Karolina seems out for blood – yelling at that one guy about the slide deck, putting together the statement while everyone else is still in shock, I think she’s making a power play and I am torn between wanting her to win and wanting the Roy kids to take her out.
Karolina took a lot of Logan’s abuse in style. I would love to see more character development from her.
Logan told the whole plane about Gerri before he died.
Oh. Well, then.
I loved this episode! Logan got more and more c*nty (to quote Roman) this season so I am glad he finally died!
I thought it was both an incredibly accurate depiction of that kind of event, but also very tedious. This season isn’t very good, imo.
The writers have said the first two seasons were slow to set up the story for the end of the season. But I don’t know how you can have watched last nights episode and still think this is a bad season.
Very much want to know what sunglasses Shiv was wearing on the boat if anyone is good at finding that type of thing!
Planning to quit corporate life after 25+ years to pursue other interests but this is going to be a big shock for my boss, I think. Nervous, yet sure I want to do this. Send me good vibes, hive…..
You’re living my dream. Good luck. Go crush it for all of us that don’t have the guts!
Go go to and good for you!!!!!!
Don’t worry about your boss. Of course be professional and work up to the day you leave but this is your life and you can’t live it to keep your boss happy all the time.
You are doing what I want to do but not sure I can do so in the next five years. Keep us all posted and let us know how it all goes! Keep being awesome.
Good vibes!
My unsolicited book recommendation for this is Soloing by Harriet Rubin. It came out in the 90s, so the technical details of work have changed dramatically. However, on the subjective experience of leaving large organization work to strike out on my own, I totally related to it and found it useful.
Thanks for this recommendation. In about four years I will be positioned to leave my job to set up my own consultancy and I am always looking for good recommendations on how to make that transition.
Thanks, all. I’m going to be 50 in a couple years and I figured it’s now or never. Will post update in a day or two.
I turned 50 at the end of last year and quit my corporate job two weeks ago without a real plan of what to do next. I believe people always land on their feet. Best of luck to you!
I did it at the beginning of the pandemic. I was 55. Best thing ever.
Congrats! I’m planning to retire from my corporate employer between 50 and 55 and launch a freelance career.
Good luck. I left Big 4 partnership at 49. Life has not been what I planned, but no regrets.
Out of all the things to worry about with a big life change, I’d put shock to a boss at about a 2. That would literally be about one of my last concerns, and I have the best boss right now. My mind would be on income, healthcare, living arrangement, networking, skill gaps for new gig, managing potential recession, etc., etc. A great time to start looking forward and not back.
Any favorite daily moisturizers with spf 30 or greater? I’d really like to combine the moisturizing and sunscreen step, if possible, so I’m looking for a single product. Thanks!
Olay micro sculpt spf 30. It’s also a great base …I only dust loose powder and put on blush over it.
Cerave has one – ultra-light moisturizing lotion.
La Roche Posay toleriane double repair moisturizer with spf 30. I’ve used it on my oily/combo skin for years.
It’s marketed as a sunscreen, but the Aveeno Protect + Hydrate Moisturizing Face Sunscreen Lotion With Broad Spectrum Spf 60 is super moisturizing and feels great on my skin. It’s also pretty affordable.
I’m going to piggyback on this – for those who wear both a sunscreen and some form of foundation or tinted moisturizer, which combo do you use that doesn’t pill? This is my search for the holy grail.
Supergoop daily moisturizer with SPF 40. In a jar.
https://supergoop.com/products/superscreen-daily-moisturizer
My go tos are philosophy, EltaMD and Skinceuticals
Highly recommend for a tinted moisturizer with spf 50
https://www.skinceuticals.com/skincare/sunscreens/physical-fusion-uv-defense-spf-50/S54.html
You can do this if you SLATHER on the moisturizer, thickly, just like you would old school sunscreen. Otherwise, if you apply only a thin layer of SPF 30 moisturizer, it isn’t a sufficient quantity to be protective. I apply Neutrogena Ultra Sheer sunscreen under my daytime moisturizer (which says it is SPF 30, but because it is so pricey, and because a little goes a long way, it’s unlikely the amount I apply on my face would be protective). The sunscreen (but not the moisturizer) also goes on my ear tops and the backs of my hands (where I swipe off my fingers after applying moisturizer, but, again, not in sufficient quantity to be protective of the hands).
Medik 8, I have been using it for a year and I love it. I normally use the one with SPF30 but also the one with SPF50
Does anyone have a body sunscreen spray that they like? I hate the feel of the ones I’ve tried. Thank you!
Coola
I really like Supergoop’s sunscreen oil, not exactly a spray but similar.
Avene
Need some advice and referrals. First, does anyone have recommendations for a divorce attorney in Denver (or metro area)? Second, any preliminary advice about what to do with money while waiting to see if divorce is inevitable? Already have separate accounts, but somewhat different savings levels. I make more, but not a ton more. TIA.
Jason Marquez – Marquez Law
Sending you lots of love and grace. It sounds like you’ve already been through a lot but with more to come. I hope you’re taking good care of yourself- you deserve to. While you look for a lawyer, remember, some of Senior Attorneys gems… The only way out is through….This time next year you’ll be so glad you did it…
Xo
My old MMLF dresses are getting pulling where the belt touches them. Any recs for non-abbraisive belts? Ignore? Rebuying probably won’t help unless I rebuy new (maybe they still make Etsuko?).
Do you have a sweater shaver or any other de-pilling tool?
I’m not sure if mine is bad, but based on how my sweater shaver has snagged casual sweaters, would not let it near workwear. If there are good ones, pls hit me with some recommendations. Thanks!
I don’t use one of the shavers for expensive fabrics – I use one of the electric spinning blade type ones. Mine is literally 50 years old (it was my parents) but I’m sure there are many cheap options like this currently.
Yes–I may have used the wrong term, but this is what I use. It has never caused problems on any fabric or knit. I’ve used it on all kinds of textures.
Does anyone know of any good organizations that are supporting the 2 politicians in Tennessee? Prefer to donate to organizations that would help both of them, rather than donating directly to a campaign.
Potentially odd question: has anyone here who regularly travels for work successfully asked to pause traveling for a few months? Combination of anxiety (that I’m trying to tackle with a therapist) and where I’m asked to travel (long distances, unfriendly to female states) has me contemplating making a request, but unsure what to say.
Does not traveling mean you will have to be reassigned? Meaning, is traveling part of the job? I’ve only ever cut down on traveling by changing positions.
Good question — potentially reassigned to a new project or unstaffed. Pre Covid, I traveled every week. Post Covid, this is really the first time (outside of a few day trips that were ~3 hours by train).
I have not done this but I work in HR. I think you could do this with a medical accommodation from your doctor. The accommodation would be working remotely (like not at the place you would travel) for a period of time. No one needs to know what medical condition it’s for except HR. There are probably some people that would make unkind assumptions but it’s a thing.
If travel is an essential function of the job (at least in times other than pandemic emergency), this could create a paper trail that OP cannot perform the essential functions of her position. Personally, I would be hesitant to provide evidence that might help my employer to fire me.
Ugh… I worry a little bit for the OP that if they are struggling with anxiety/agoraphobia, then isolating at home /working from home may be bad for her recovery.
OP – talk with your doctor about it – they may have a strategy. Like are you starting a new medication? Maybe while the new med is kicking in, you can try a beta blocker while traveling to try to decrease the physical manifestations of anxiety. Or maybe your therapist, since hopefully they understand the issues you are working with, can give suggestions about how to approach this with a realistic timeline.
I just worry that if you are in a job where traveling is part of the job, you could get yourself into trouble if you want to stop traveling. Especially if your doctor doesn’t think you have disabling anxiety and part of your rationale is politics, although I totally understand this. I think you then need to start looking for a new job, or maybe ask for a brief accommodation while your medications are kicking in.
my cousin who was a consultant had to do this after experiencing some debilitating headaches that ultimately required some kind of neurosurgery
I didn’t, but at my old consulting job we definitely had people who didn’t travel for periods of time due to personal reasons. I would not go into any details but say that you wanted to request a period of low travel because you have a medical or personal issue and need to stay local to make appointments. Ask if someone else can take the client at the terrible location.
Truly did not realize how enraging fertility treatment would be. Completely leaving aside the whole pregnancy or not part of it, simply dealing with it administratively is such a burden. Keeping track of who to contact about what and which online portal to use for what and randomly getting told I owe 9k at 7am on a saturday its so much work!
Just validating this. This was totally my experience as well.
I hear you, I see you. It all worked out and my little one is about to turn three … but those daily, 7:30 a.m. appointments 40 minutes in the opposite direction from work, the portals, the medication adjustments, the unexplained work absences … it was a lot. A LOT. And the panic every time I saw the clinic’s name flash across my phone – could be good news (35 eggs!) could be bad (only 1 viable after 5 days). And, yes, the cost … oof.
Validating as well. I froze my eggs, and was surprised by how mentally and emotionally upsetting the whole process felt.
I froze my eggs and was surprised at how disorganized the facility was especially their finance department. I definitely felt like a cow being herded through the process and this office comes highly recommended.
Yeah me too, it was like they were following a script and never looked at who I was. I had some random PAs calling me telling me to do xyz when that wasn’t something the doctor advised yet and then getting snippy at me when I said nope, read my notes. They were embarrassingly unorganized. This was at a highly recommended place as well.
Is there a good book for this situation:
Husband is having a hard time that my MIL has had a kid move in with her, ostensibly to “help.” Kid is a hoarder and probably has some untreated MH issues driving that. Kid still lets other siblings into the house, but it’s gotten pretty bad. And one day we weren’t let in (but that was years ago) when we were unexpectedly in the area for a kid’s orchestra event. Not to the point of any EMS visit would result in a social services referral, but heading into that direction. It’s MIL’s house, but MIL is competent (and never wants to upset anyone, so this will likely continue until it can’t). Husband will visit to help with home items that other kids can’t / won’t do, but then gets terribly upset, stirs the pot, and then won’t visit while things cool down (and during that, the house gets worse).
This seems like a sad Serenity Prayer situation where we can’t do anything about it b/c MIL isn’t on board and other kids aren’t on board but him. Yes? Is there a book of “letting go even when it is difficult”?
No there is no book that he can read to address this incredibly complex situation. This is what a trained licensed therapist is for.
Unfortunately if they’re all adults it sounds like there’s nothing you can do.
Her house, her rules, her life.
I have a friend and her mom is a geriatric social worker. Typically, hospitals call her when there is some concern that a patient cannot be discharged safely at home. Hoarding seems to be common. Or something like “Mom needs to use a hospital bed and it has to be on the ground floor, except we can’t put it there because there is no space or no working bathroom and mom can’t go up and down stairs safely, etc.” I don’t know how you loop those people before anything catastrophic happens. Like I’d want to know any tips for aging in place in a 2-story house, so I’d go listen, but you have to be willing.
We found one aging relative who was so afraid of falls that she had stopped changing out any overhead lightbulbs, which would have required a step stool. So she was largely living in the dark except from some table lamps, especially in winter when it often dark outside. It wasn’t good but without being in the house, you wouldn’t know. It was a hazard though b/c all lights at the top / bottom of the stairs were burned out.
Also, don’t discount the role that shame plays in hiding the inside of houses from you. GOod luck!
I don’t know that it’d be helpful here, but in case anyone is wondering for other situations, you can absolutely engage these kind of folks on your own. The term I’ve heard used is Elder Care Consultant.
The elder care consultancy I engaged provided an absolute angel who helped with so much, and could refer to other services as necessary that I could not find with all of my googling power.
It’s worth it for husband to have a chat with MIL about the hoarding, how she feels, to offer to help find/pay for help if the hoarder wants it or help with kicking hoarder out if she wants it, and to lay out the reality of what life is like for someone in a hoarded house who needs help (she’ll have to go to an assisted living facility rather than home if she needs extra help). Husband and his siblings can also tell her how all of this makes them feel.
That said, I think there’s not much one can do about hoarders who aren’t willing to accept mental health help and people who enable them. I don’t think it’s worth spending time trying to help clean up if neither person who lives there is going to change.
From my experience with a hoarding parent, it’s better to accept that you can’t do anything than to keep trying to change things. That way, you can maintain a good, happy relationship.
+100000000000 to your last paragraph.
I’m feeling totally overwhelmed by seemingly normal, predictable things. Just the act of getting through a kids birthday and Easter weekend with the kids was totally daunting to me and now I’m totally exhausted and the older one is on day ten or something of being home from school.
Is it possible that some people are just not emotionally capable of doing normal things? I’m a complete wreck here. My life is just beyond overwhelming to me yet everyone I know manages to do more. I tried having conversations with my husband but he just piles on obligations and guilt and threatens to call his mom to “help” (last week she insisted on watching my son and turned her phone off all day so I couldn’t check in-it’s always something like that with her. My therapist calls it boundary pushing.)
I want to pare down our obligations but I don’t have it in me to say “no you can’t play little league “ or “no you can’t go to the egg hunt” and those seem like no big deal until you factor in the 330 pm weekday practices and the fact that the country club requires everyone to be in fancy-ish clothes and I have to shop for the entire family because I don’t have two sets of fancy-ish spring clothes for everyone.(but why don’t I? I had a week to prep for the egg hunt and I probably could have anticipated the invitation.) I just need normal week but I don’t know if we’ll ever get one. My physical and mental health are just plummeting and I keep feeling like I’m fundamentally flawed and the kids got a terrible mother.
Most people CAN cope with this stuff, even if they don’t enjoy it. Talk to your primary care doctor as a first step. You don’t have to live like this. Hugs.
Honestly, I couldn’t deal with what the OP describes. That is part of the reason why I am not married and don’t have kids. I would have a breakdown too!
And also, if your husband wants to add things on, he has to do them. Not his mother. Him.
Are you burnt out? I was completely depleted after two years of pandemic parenting and I really spent 2022 focusing on my recovery.
Figure out what is actually necessary, then give more tasks of those to your husband or outsource. Figure out what is not necessary and drop it.
I dropped plenty of things I used to like because I was so tired (bar association stuff gone, extra church responsibilities gone). I got weekly laundry service and biweekly house cleaners. My dinners are simple and the groceries are delivered. Only one kid is in a scheduled activity, and that is allllll my husband. As in he registered her and goes to the practice. I did not lift a finger.
Your kid being home for 10 days isn’t normal and your husband doesn’t sound like he is helping. Of course you are overwhelmed.
I think it’s totally normal to be wiped after a birthday weekend, even if you outsource the party as much as possible. We’re secular Jews so I can’t comment on the holiday aspect, but it seems like Christmas and Easter are pretty exhausting for a lot of people too.
You can definitely limit kids’ activities. Not sure how old your kids are, but kids under the age of 10 or so really just need to be playing and having free time alone and with peers. Lots of research supports this. Don’t feel guilty about saying no, or limiting activities to things they do at school in the afternoons that don’t take much involvement from you.
This.
I told my kids one sport, one instrument max. It worked out pretty well. My son’s “sport” was Boy Scouts, because he was in it for the backpacking and hiking. Both kids still play their instruments as young adults. (In fact, multi instruments, but they did the additional ones on their own.)
I am so sorry. It sounds like you’re having a really tough time, and it is probably time for getting to a therapist quickly to help you assess what’s going on.
It sounds like your family isn’t listening to you, and this is probably a not helpful suggestion, but have you tried saying very directly: “I feel completely overwhelmed and cannot do these things now because my mental health is bad – can we pause for a week, or can we arrange for someone to help out so that I get some relief?”
This is why I don’t have kids. I have a chronic illness and find day to day life with just me to be pretty exhausting. I knew my limits and decided it would be incredibly selfish to try to be a parent because I just didn’t have enough energy to devote to a child’s needs, at least not within the constraints of the society we live in and my particular social and financial situation. I don’t at all say this with the implication that I’m calling you selfish (that was a personal decision for my situation), just that I agree that there are lots of people who genuinely aren’t capable of doing the modern parenting grind and need to figure out a way to do something differently- you’re not alone. Since you have a kid, you need to figure out what you can change to make it work, whether it’s calling in friend or family support, changing jobs, getting mental health help, or just doing less. You don’t have to do what everyone else does. I really hope you can figure out away to make it feel more manageable, starting with getting your husband on board with understanding the situation and contributing more.
Everyone is happy with different levels of activity. It’s fine to want fewer things on calendar, even when loads of people around you chose to be super busy. It’s far more important for kids to have a mother who is as happy and healthy as she can be than to get to do every activity they want. If you want permission to cut back, at least until you’re feeling better and then maybe slowly reintroducing just a bit, granted.
But also: why are all the details like fancy clothes for the family, 3:30pm weekday practices, all your responsibility? You have a spouse, you have kids old enough to play little league and it’s best for everyone to share the load. If some things fall through the cracks and don’t go as everyone hoped, that’s a learning opportunity for your family, not a problem you caused.
Or permanently cut back! My family’s schedule permanently has plenty of unscheduled time. However, it may be easier for you to try having less on calendar if you think of it as temporary and go from there.
You have a husband problem. I would start there.
+1 But also, please, please go to a doctor and say to them “My physical and mental health are just plummeting”
Gently, and obviously as an internet comment this is not meant to replace a doctor’s advice, but you sound terribly depressed. What you describe is exactly how I felt – looking at what I needed to do logically and wondering why I couldn’t do it and why it all felt like a HUGE burden. Help from other people felt like punishment. Your husband sounds like he has no understanding of how his lifestyle expectations (perfectly presented family at the country club easter egg hunt!) are impacting your mental health. But your MIL insisting on helping with some child care ,and going so far as to turn off her phone, sounds like she might indeed understand and is trying hard to get you to accept the help she can give. Please see your PCP and ask for a depression screening, and then try whatever meds they suggest. As the other poster said, you don’t have to live like this.
Please understand my MIL’s behavior is problematic, not kind. She is forever begging to help then doing things that make me uncomfortable: “forgetting” the booster seat, inviting friends over to see the baby during the height of covid, taking the kids somewhere without telling me, leaving the kids with a friend without telling me, ect. It’s a weird power trip for her and a huge strain on my marriage.
i agree that it sounds like you could be depressed, and your husbands “solutions” are not helping. MIL “helping” should have been off the table once she left the kids with another person with out permission (assuming she did not check with your husband). And your husband should be on board and have that conversation with her. If she did check with your husband and he said ok, then you need to both get on the same page about this – and maybe with a therapist because you might have anxiety over being away from / not having complete control over your kids that is exacerbating all of this. I don’t think any of us in the internet can really figure out what’s going on, but that was one thing I’ve noticed in myself (anxiety about others caring for my kids) and had to work on to grab time back for myself.
Your husband also needs to take on his share in-person (not outsource). It’s not clear from your post if you are both going to everything or if you’ve divided up the kids activities and non-family social engagements. And if he wants country club egg hunt, he can get the appropriate clothes (though this sucks because we all know it reflects on you, not him).
How many kids do you have? How much outside help? I’ve notice my friends with 3 seem much more overwhelmed unless they have significant (paid or otherwise ) weekend help even with one activity per kid.
But to me, this sounds like a busy but not impossible weekend, and the anguish and overwhelm I hear from your post feels different than just regular busy-ness, even for a holiday. So I hope you can talk to your therapist about this. It’s not a personal failing.
I should also say that MIL might be a real problem and your husband is not sufficiently worried about it/it’s not anxiety in your part. I feel like my prior post assumed too much/projected my own experience. I can’t tell from what you’ve posted. Either way I think it could be useful to see a couples therapist to work through this. Or you can also decide this is a dealbreaker for you in the marriage – that your husband won’t stand up for you to MIL.
Couples counseling, and the book Toxic in Laws.
One of my mantras is “it’s just too much.” It doesn’t have to be a war zone to be “too much;” it’s just a schedule that is crammed too full.
I am a big believer that as a family, we are happier having some down time than being stretched too thin. If that means we skip an egg hunt, we skip an egg hunt.
Also, talk to your doctor and work. You need to decompress.
Start with a doctor appointment and say you’re feeling extremely fatigued. I’m 48. This is how I felt at one point in my 30s before I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and at another point two years ago when I had significant anemia. Your body is telling you that energy is running down. As you sort out the root of why that is happening, you need to prioritize how you’re spending time and energy and bring in your husband or outside assistance. He doesn’t get to threaten MIL and use that as a “pass.” Priority should start with your sleep, decent diet, and mild exercise if you can tackle that. Then prioritize what is and isn’t important for the kids. Maybe that is one activity per weekend or week? Be realistic about time commitment. (Egg hunt trumps a season of baseball and all that driving, for example; wearing nice-enogh clothes or ordering nice-enough clothes online is more important than perfect fancy clothes.) You are going to have to use your words to dig out of this. Words to enlist help and words to set boundaries on what you are and aren’t capable of until you’re feeling better. Normal week isn’t coming. You need to design it.
Depending on which aspects of a busy schedule overwhelm you, it could be adult ADHD. “Feeling overwhelmed with pretty basic life responsibilities” can be an ADHD symptom.
– Definitely talk to your doctor. The way you’re describing stuff sounds like how depression hits me.
– Your husband sounds like he’s not helping the situation. Why is he piling on obligations and guilt? Why can’t he take on these obligations?
– How much do your husband and kids do around the house / to help out?
– What can be streamlined? We do ” a lot” but we also keep things very streamlined. We have a routine or a system for just about everything. I almost never buy anything in stores anymore, it’s all online orders. We rotate through the same meal plan of dinners that come together in 30 mins. Everyone spends 10 mins after dinner cleaning up the house and 45ish minutes on a weekend and that’s usually the only cleaning we do. Our kids only play sports at the field that’s 1 mile from our house. I always settle for the “eh good enough option”; I have given up optimizing (for example, I’d find the first cute Easter dress on Target in my daughter’s size and be done).
– What can you outsource? Could you hire a babysitter or find a carpool for little league? Can your husband take your kids to the egg hunt while you stay home?
Honestly? This IS normal for most people. Would it help to recalibrate your mindset that this is normal and a slower week is a slow week to be treasured rather than feeling like this is crazy and hectic?
I think it could be normal if you have help and are not alone. It sounds like husband and MIL are adding to the work (and sense of loneliness and despair). OP I feel this some weeks but then I ask my wonderful gracious mother to help or tell my husband to step it up which he generally does helpfully. This is not necessarily a ‘you’ problem.
I’m really sorry to be so blunt, but your husband is an a@@hole and that is why you are not emotionally capable of doing normal things. You are not a flawed person and your kids got a terrible father (who, it seems, came by it honestly, thanks to his mother), not a terrible mother. If your therapist is not helping you see this, then please get a new therapist and get the eff out. You deserve better.
I have to admit that this is a little bit where I landed.
I have to admit that this is a little bit where I landed. Why can’t he accept that you’re at the end of your rope and, like, help? Calling his mom to solve this is weird.
Agreed
I skipped an egg hunt and also Valentine’s day. I did my kid’s birthday party in the following month because we had too much going on. My kids do only one activity each. And all this is with a partner who is a genuine 50% participant and does even more of the outside drop offs and pickups.
It’s perfectly ok to do just some things. Ruthless prioritization.
We see people on social media doing different things (egg hunts! Pinterest perfect birthdays! chess trophies! Family bike trails on weekends!) but they’re not each doing everything. You pick the thing (or mayybe things) that matter to you.
Your husband is the one who sounds like the AH in this situation.
Looking for cheap and cheerful travel options! I’m outside NYC, looking for a weekish sologetaway this summer. Priorities are someplace dark and quiet at night, at least a decent pool preferably natural swimming options though, and good food. Definitely not open to AirBnB I want daily housekeeping. My heart wants the Sagamore but my bank account wants me to keep lodging under $1500 for the trip. Open to a flight or driving, have been leaning driving just due to cost.
Coast of Maine?
Hotel prices in Maine are INSANE right now. It would be tough to do 7 days on $1500 unless you’re willing to stay in a motel.
Since you said the Sagamore… how about Lake Placid? Or TOURISTS Welcome in North Adams, MA?
Someone I know once stayed for a week at a former motel in Pal Springs or Palm Desert (I forget which). It was a classic 1950s, rooms around a pool, every room accessible from the outdoors place. But it had been totally renovated so that each room was really nice, modern bathroom and kitchenette. And of course, pool and nice weather (depending on the time of year). It was not one of those party Palm Springs places, so it was quiet.
Clearly the Great Lakes region :)
For those who travel solo esp in Europe are you ever able to meet locals and just chat about anything – from their lives to the economy there to anything else? If so how?
I’m in that life phase where I’ll only be traveling solo as my friends and siblings are either all married or just don’t care to travel and my parents are old enough that it’s just not comfortable for them. Yet being mid 40s, I also don’t want to do group tours yet unless I’m going someplace where it’s a hassle for women alone. Plus I like to roam on my own schedule.
Was fortunate to have a number of international trips as a big law associate which was a thing back in the day before huge numbers of documents could be uploaded to the cloud in a minute and before every firm had its own European offices. While I liked seeing things on those trips, what I really liked is the time you got with other associates casually chatting. Any way to replicate that on a personal trip?
To be clear I’m looking for entirely platonic. I also don’t drink so I don’t know that chatting it up at a bar is realistic. I’ve heard people use travel apps and one of my single friends is usually very chatty with waiters to the point of flirting and the let’s be real all of that ends in gardening, not simply talking about their job or how various parts of town differ or whatever.
There are some platonic “dating” apps like Bumble BFF. Not sure how widespread they are in Europe but you could try.
I’ve done a bunch of solo trips through Europe in the last 2 years, and unfortunately my answer is almost never. I once offered to share a table with a woman and her daughter at a restaurant because there was a very long line and the next table available was a 4-top. We had a great conversation! I’ve met and chatted with some other Americans if they are seated next to me at a restaurant and hear my accent when I order. Otherwise, it’s usually just me keeping to myself.
There may be language-exchange forums or apps to meet up with people? But I honestly have only ever talked at length to drivers and tour guides. I have more luck striking convos with fellow tourists than with the locals.
I would look into companies offering tours done by locals. Speaking as someone who grew up in an extremely touristy part of Europe, I don’t think spontaneously meeting locals is that easy. It’s not that we’re unfriendly but we have our own lives and sometimes get slight tourist fatigue- I try really hard to be nice to people who ask if I speak English, but about 50% of the time it’s some sort of scam or people who are asking for directions and are really stressed out and kind of rude. Yes there will be guys up for gardening and looking to prey on tourists but that’s not what you’re looking for. Maybe Bumble BFF? I would look into Greeters or cool tours like Paris by Mouth (or whatever equivalent in your destination) to meet cool people.
Tours by Locals dot come is great, if expensive. Viator also has private tours for a bit less. If you are interested in Italy, my friend Claire is an American expat who does private tours and she will talk your ear off! http://www.wildsage.it http://www.claireintheworld.net
I did a solo long distance hut-to-hut hike in Europe a while ago and had lots of fantastic conversations with fellow hikers and hut-keepers alike. I even made a few friends who I met up with in our destination city at the end of the trip. If hiking is at all your thing I’d highly recommend a similar trip for a great mix of solo time and social activity.
This is on my bucket list and it sounds like so much fun.
Are hostels for adults a thing? I went on a solo trip when I was younger and that was where I got the chance to chit chat like that.
Hostels are filled with college students and 20-somethings. It would be kind of awkward to stay in one as a 40-something.
I’ve met some people on food tours and free walking tours where you tip the tour guide. Even if the relationship doesn’t go anywhere after the tour, it’s a good opportunity to connect with people. My tip is to take the tours early in your trip so that if you do make a connection there is time for it to bloom before you return.
Join to internations.org and go to some of the events they organize in the city you ar visiting. I have used both for my work and personal travels. In Brussels I went to a gallery visit and the girls that were there they come to lunch with me.
The same in Oslo when I used it to kill time until my friends arrive in a later flight.
But where I founded it easier was in Spain, they make all the time small talk with everyone, but you need to know the language as not everyone speaks English.
I know I should call my doctor and I will, but I’ve had the worst itchy red rash under my b00bs every time I wear a bra lately. I’ve used OTC cortisone, eczema cream, anti-fungal cream…nothing is clearing it up. Am I suddenly allergic to bras?! Going without a bra is not an option since I am (fortunately/unfortunately) extremely well endowed.
Could it be caused by sweat? I often get a prickly-heat type rash caused by sweat and my underb00bs definitely sweat in warm weather!
Try a different laundry detergent and try different bras (more supportive and made with sweat wicking fabric).
If it’s only underneath, then I wouldn’t suspect an allergy (though could certainly be wrong). As someone who is also well endowed (36HH), my first thoughts are:
1) Wash all of your bras, and only wear them once between washes to make sure you’re not spreading anything.
2) Check bra sizing, on me when this happens it’s because underwire/cups are not getting close enough to my ribcage so my skin is directly on itself and creating nice wet warm pockets.
3)Air out as much/often as you can- for me this would be as soon as I get home from work going sans bra, going without as much of the weekend as possible etc (I know this can be difficult, I can usually do a half day without my back hurting, and will do that two days in a row)
4) For me, it’s often fungal, so I use an athletes foot spray when I get out of the shower.
Thank you for all the helpful advice! I never wear a bra at home and usually WFH, but I have to be in the office every day this week and I’m dreading wearing a bra for that long!
Try Benadryl or another allergy medicine like Zyrtec. Also agree with the recommendation above to change laundry detergent.
I used to get this. What helped was athletes foot cream, because it was fungal.
If the issue is only underneath, maybe try a br@ liner? You can search for them on Amazon. You just slip it as a layer between your br@ and your skin.
How have I never heard of these?? Thank you!
Go to your dermatologist. I suffered from this for too long and she fixed me up after one visit.
How do you get your news? Not so much looking for recs of news outlets, just interested to know how others consume news. Twitter, TV, apps, podcasts, directly from news sites? I don’t like to spend a ton of time on the news every day, but I like to stay informed. Right now I do a combo of select news outlets on Twitter, a daily newsletter for local news, and NPR in the car.
My town’s local news site and the BBC website. Hate Twitter and I’d rather read the news than watch/listen.
Podcasts – I listen to The Daily podcast every morning while I’m getting ready. Occasionally I add in The NPR Politics podcast and/or Today, Explained. Sometimes I listen to podcasts in the car, but mostly while I’m getting ready in the morning.
Websites – I subscribe to the NYT and get some of their emailed newsletters, but mostly read articles on their website once a day.
Newsletters – I’m signed up for daily newsletter from The Skimm, AntiRacism Daily, and NextDraft. I go in phases how much I actually read.
I absolutely never watch TV news. Not even for election night coverage anymore.
I run my local news in the background in the morning and evenings, from activists on Instagram, and I scroll The Atlantic headlines daily and read what interests me. I also get industry news emails all the time at work.
Directly from the news sites. I quickly scroll through headlines from BBC, the “local”newspaper (which has national coverage), Fox and CNN. I frankly don’t trust algorithms to feed me things, as they inevitably narrow the feed to what they “think” I like to read vs. what is actually happening.
I consume a LOT of news for personal reasons (I enjoy it and I enjoy being well-informed) and professional reasons (current events and their context are very important to my job).
– I get news alerts on my phone from 3-4 different sources. I do get annoyed because so much of their “breaking news” is not at all breaking news and that bothers me, but when something does happen I’m almost always the first to know.
– I follow a lot of people in my field and related fields on Twitter (my Twitter account is solely for work purposes, I rarely if ever post). This is where I get my colleagues’ takes on the news, which is pretty important too. I also follow scholars / professors / professional researchers in my field too.
– I listen to NPR Up First every morning while I get ready for work.
– I spend the first 45ish minutes of my work day reading the news online (directly on news outlets’ sites). Whenever I need a break in my day I spend 10 minutes re-checking these sites.
When I regularly commuted, I used to listen to NPR’s daily podcast. Now it’s almost exclusively directly viewing news sites.
Podcasts, Substack, and newspaper sites/Apple News.
free Daily Skimm email that summarizes some global and American nationwide events. Caveat the language skews firmly liberal and a little cutesy.
All over. The summary page on my iPhone. The daily podcast. Whatever people are freaking out about on Twitter or here. And snippets/glimpses of the Stephanie Ruhl show that my husband is hooked on in the evenings (I don’t sit through the whole thing)
I read online two local outlets, Washington Post, and the NPR equivalent of my home country. That is where I intentionally get my news. I also doomscroll twitter too much and I do see interesting viewpoints there, but bottom line I waste too much time on it. I can’t totally quit as I run a twitter account for work and need to post what we are doing.
I like to check out Ground News and AllSides.
New York Times online
NPR stations – I’ve lived in a lot of places, and use internet radio to listen to the stations in Boston/NYC/Chicago/San Francisco etc.. on different days/different times
Podcasts – Mostly The Daily, and more NPR shows on weekends.
The Guardian, Politico and local news sites.
Have you ever dealt with a law firm associate who is obsessed with partnership and yet it is super clear that she isn’t going to ever make partner? Even she knows that – I mean her firm is pushing her out and was in fact pushing her out even before the economy turned. So I don’t understand this constant interest in which partners have business or not, what the junior partners make versus senior versus non equity, which executive committee members hold more power than others, who will or will not make partner etc.
I fortunately don’t directly work with her but was assigned as a mentor when she first lateraled in. She probably had about eight years of experience in house and the firm took her as a fifth year during the hiring boom about two years ago. It quickly became very clear that she wasn’t very well trained in house, but she also would not receive feedback at the firm. Meaning if someone more senior told her – you do this this way, instead of doing it or asking questions, she’d go on about how that was dumb, that’s not what clients want, she knows she was in house. You can imagine how this went over. She got bad reviews in the first review cycle, brushed them off, and continues to behave the same way. Though she is looking for a new in house job so she did receive whatever they exactly said to her in her review. As mentor I’ve been roped in to provide gentle feedback at times, which I do but otherwise I stay out of it and TBH I don’t provide much feedback anymore because I know how it works at this firm. Once they realize they’re done with you, there’s nothing you can do to change that short of the economy suddenly booming or you landing a million dollar client. Plus she isn’t wanting to change.
But we’re the branch office of a big firm, so I still have to see her around and I’m polite and professional yet SO TIRED of all drop bys turning into – they shouldn’t make so and so partner, the clients hate him. As if she knows so and so all that well or his standing in the firm or what client feedback he does or doesn’t receive. WWYD?
Be very busy all the time. Who has time for this? Not you!
This isn’t intended as a criticism of your conduct, but reading this reminded me of how little candor there is at times in big law. I can definitely see that from your perspective that she sounds completely delusional. At the same time, I don’t quite understand what she herself might view about her role at the firm, even if she’s looking around for another job. It seems a bit concerning to me (and perhaps signals issues with your firm’s hiring and vetting processes) that your firm hired her just two years ago and then decided shortly thereafter that she has no future with the firm and needs to leave; your post notes that they were trying to get her out even before the economic downturn. A bad review cycle doesn’t seem so unusual when onboarding someone transitioning from a relatively long stint in house back to a firm, and it doesn’t sound like you know what was said in the meeting.
Again, not trying to criticize your conduct — I totally take you at your word about her being not receptive to feedback, difficult to work with, etc. I just hope that someone has actually communicated to her point blank what you’ve written here about it being “over” for her, if you’re not willing to do so. The questions she’s asking seem like me for fair questions (the culture around partnership, compensation, internal politics) for an ambitious associate to ask an assigned mentor — they’re only silly if she actually understands that she doesn’t have a shot.
Anon at 4/10 has it exactly right. This Associate clearly has no idea she is out of the running for promotion to partner.
Just wondering – what was her role in house? I ask because in house roles vary quite a bit in terms of training and expectations.
Seems like it was a very contract management type of role in house with liberal use of templates for existing contracts. Not criticizing but it’s different than her law firm work and the learning curve has been significant.
I tried to piggyback above but perhaps I will just start a thread –
Favorite skincare including SPF that doesn’t pill under foundation or tinted moisturizer? Please tell me your exact combos!
This is a pilling situation my sweater shaver will not fix. :)
Nothing with “-cones.”
I use CeraVe Minéral sunscreen for faces, and Bobbi Brown Intensive Serum Foundation, which is a light liquid formulation.
Is SPF supposed to go under moisturizer? If my skin is too dry, it will pill so I usually do the opposite.
Trader Joe’s unscreen dupe plus IT Glow Screen cc cream.