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Coffee Break: Sega Leather Lace Up Sneaker With Removable Crystals

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If I've heard it once, I've heard it a million times: “I'd love to go hiking more, but I just can't bear to leave my gemstones at home! I try to take my evening shoes but the 4″ stilettos just get stuck in the mud! What am I supposed to do?” or, the other common refrain, “Kat, can I wear my hiking shoes to my next charity gala or to attend my boss's wedding? I worry they're not fancy enough!” Deep breaths, ladies! Gucci is here to address both concerns with these bedazzled lace-up sneakers. The lug soles will definitely grip the trail, while the removable straps with crystals are definitely fancy enough for all of your big meetings and other social engagements. Problem solved! These babies are only $1590 and also available in beige. (Both colors are down to lucky sizes only, so hurry fast if you want them!) Women's Sega Leather Lace Up Sneaker With Removable Crystals

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Curious for more of our commentary on this day in the past? Click here.

Sales of note for 3/21/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off: Free People, AllSaints, AG, and more
  • Ann Taylor – 25% off suiting + 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – $39+ dresses & jumpsuits + up to 50% off everything else
  • J.Crew – 25% off select linen & cashmere + up to 50% off select styles + extra 40% off sale
  • J.Crew Factory – Friends & Family Sale: Extra 15% off your purchase + extra 50% off clearance + 50-60% off spring faves
  • M.M.LaFleur – Flash Sale: Get the Ultimate Jardigan for $198 on sale; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Buy 1 get 1 50% off everything, includes markdowns

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

166 Comments

  1. Excitedly wore new M Gemi sneakers today that I got on sale. They hurt so bad I don’t think I’ll ever wear them again. I’m not sure that it’s a breaking in issue – both pinky toes are blistered so I think it’s a width issue? I see on their website that only unworn shoes can be returned. I’m pretty disappointed. I want to order another pair in a different style (I really like the look of all the shoes) but I’m worried the same thing will happen again.

    1. Yeah I do t like their shoes but this is how shoes work. You wear em you keep Em.

      1. +1 – I usually try to wear new shoes around the house for a bit to get a sense of where the hot spots are, and return if necessary. But if I wear them outside or scuff up the soles, then that’s not returnable in my book.

        1. Yeah, this. It’s fair for them to make this their policy, but it’s also for OP to be disappointed by it.

    2. I bought a pair last year (The fortuna?). Were very comfortable in the house and I spent a few days breaking them in while inside. Wore them to work and they tore up my feet and I even somehow got a blood blister. Over the last year, I’ve tried wearing them out with socks, knee highs, moleskin, etc, but had the same result. It’s a lost cause. Frustrating because 1) they felt comfortable inside, and 2) they seem to get reviews for being of high quality and comfortable. I’m staying away from them.

    3. Try selling them on poshmark or eBay if they won’t take them back.They’re one of the brands you can get a decent return on especially if you’ve only worn them once. But their customer service is good so I’d contact them first

    4. I feel you! I wore my new bra today, and was very excited because although no one can see it, it’s a pretty bra and I was kinda jazzed to wear it, but alas, some stiffish stitching has come away from the band and has been digging into the skin under my boob all day. I’ve been adjusting my bra every chance I get, but it’s all been in vain. I’m wondering if the bra is defective, or if I’m wearing the wrong size and strained the elastic. I think I might glue some ribbon to the inside and see if that helps.

      1. So sorry! Those are two places where I can’t be uncomfortable – feet and boobs.

    1. You are killing it today, girl.

      But I remain mystified at how these shoes even exist…for $1600 US.

        1. Remember when our current First Lady gardened in her stilettos? Or also went to help hurricane victims… in stilettos? I have a feeling this company knows their market….

          1. I’m no fan of the first lady but most things are at least nice/stylish? I feel pretty confident in saying she would not wear these.

      2. Seriously, does anyone have an explanation for these clothes? Who buys them? Obviously someone does since there are lucky sizes only. I just don’t get it.

        1. It is April Fool’s day! YAY!!!! I do not think that the First Lady really gardens with the President with stiletto’s, does she?

  3. I’m confused because when I clidk through it says the color is “Mystic White” and I thought these would be perfect for my wedding. But they don’t look white at all. Can anybody who has these comment?

    1. I think you should go with the “Women’s Flashtrek Low-Top Dad Sneakers” in light grey.

  4. I actually laughed out loud for this one. Good to know there is a beige option as the green does feel kinda…loud.

  5. This just proves, just because you have money, it does not mean you have taste! (Seriously, though, who buys this cr#p!!!)

  6. The golf club question from this morning me thinking – is it common for upper middle class millennial to be a part of country clubs? I grew up middle class, the majority of people I know did as well, so being a member of a club wasn’t a common thing or cultural expectation. However, I can see the appeal of having a space that is purely recreational to spend time, but the sheer cost for something that is purely recreational always gives me pause, even though I’m sure my spouse and I could technically afford it. For those that are members in the millennial/gen-z working age range (i.e. 22 to early 40s) why did you join? For those of you who had the opportunity but didn’t, why didn’t you join?

    Also – any recs for non-stuffy country clubs in the Houston area to look into?

    1. Golf clubs are way more expensive generally than tennis clubs. We are members of the Briar Club in Houston. It was a pricey fee to join but we flipping love it. We go all the time, including more during the winter than I expected. We sit on the patio and the kids can play on the playground, they let you linger at dinner, there are nice fire pits, etc. It’s just nice to go out to dinner and it not be crowded and your kids not make a scene and you not feel rushed. We put our youngest in kids’ club sometimes, which we can do spontaneously, which is nice too. The real reason we joined it was to have a pool for the heat of the summer because otherwise we all went crazy sitting inside. If you have access to a pool, it may not be worth it (although the service poolside is awesome too but probably not worth it alone). I seriously think it’s some of the best money we’ve spent. Btw, it is comparable to the Racquet Club and the Houstonian, etc., so I would just pick the one most convenient for you. Also, one last thing, I have not used it one iota for business or connections. We have friends who are members there who we see, but it hasn’t expanded my network appreciably, although I also haven’t tried.

      1. One last thing. TBC is not stuffy at all but it is very kid focused. If you don’t have or are not planning to have kids, you’d be an unusual member there, I’d say.

      2. A JCC is a community center, not a country club. So a totally different concept, although a membership does provide access to a gym, tennis, pool and other activities and cultural event like cooking classes and child care. As someone else noted, they offer significant financial assistance for members and child-related services like day camp and preschool. Important to note that JCCs are nonprofits with a mission of providing needed services to the entire community is serves (most have fewer than 50% Jews as members).
        If you are looking for those types of activities, a JCC is a great option without the upfront cost of a private club.

    2. growing up the only people i know of who belonged to country clubs were golfers and did it so they had access to a golf course. we just belonged to our neighborhood pool which was a bare bones pool in the burbs that we used in the summer. i do not know anyone my age who belongs to a country club. i’m jewish, so I do know some people who belong to a JCC which comes with access to a pool, gym, etc. but to me that seems different than a typical “club” since there is none of that dining aspect or golf, etc.

      1. I definitely think Jews (and racial minorities?) are skeptical of country clubs, because so many of them have a history of excluding these groups. I know there are Jews that join traditional country clubs w/dining and golf (my DH’s family did) but I think it’s pretty rare. JCC is very different – much more like a YMCA or gym/community center.

        1. The Standard Club is a brand that was snooty country club for Jewish families.
          I’m sure there are comparable for other minorities that were excluded from other traditional clubs.

        2. I do agree that country clubs in general aren’t a strong part of the cultural identity of historically discriminated groups because of the history of exclusion, being a member simply didn’t exist. I’m sure there is a strong component of that still existing, particularly at the upper crust style country clubs (maybe not in the form of outright discrimination but in the form of feeling like you don’t belong), but I get a sense this is less common in communities that are more middle to upper middle class and reasonably diverse communities – but hey I could be wrong, I know very few people who are members and as far as I know they wouldn’t be members of clubs that outright discriminated against people based on background (especially since the club already exclude based on ability to afford).

        3. Certainly, there are “Jewish” country clubs that almost always started because Jews were excluded from non-Jewish (i.e. Christian) country clubs.

      2. And the JCCs that I’ve been a part of take almost anybody as members, with many different payment plans (gym-only, events-only, preschool, whatever else). There’s no membership committee or stipulation that a current member has to invite you or vouch for you or anything. Also my JCC has a LOT of financial aid for member families, I can’t really imagine a typical country club doing that.

    3. Mainly DH and I are not members of one because I don’t see the point unless you golf. We belong to a nice gym that has lap swimming pools (and kids swimming lessons) and tennis courts, we have a community aquatic center that we love to go to with our kids, and we have playgrounds in our neighborhood where we hang out after dinner and socialize with neighbors. I don’t see the point of packing up and heading across town to a country club when we have all the same things much closer to home. And that’s before you factor in the money. It makes sense to me if you golf though.

      1. Some country clubs in my large SEUS city have social-only memberships (no golf privileges) just for people who want to use the gym and have events there. There are also pool-only seasonal memberships (with a long waitlist — who doesn’t want the fancy country club pool without the huge golf initiation fee?).

        I am a member of a tennis club. I thought it was fancy for me as a singleton but it became a necessity once I had kids (they have tennis camps and, unlike the Y that we also belong to, you can imbibe poolside; our Y is so crazy that you can’t even snack poolside, a hazard back when I had wee kids I needed to be within arms’ length of lest they drown).

    4. Age 38, two kids. My “club” is the YMCA. We love having access to a pool year-round.

      There is definitely a set of people in my community who do the real country club thing, but it holds zero appeal to me and many of my peers.

      1. Same. In my east coast area, pool clubs are popular. I grew up in ca and we were pool only members of a golf club and then the ymca opened up and we joined there instead.

    5. Growing up (upper middle class), my parents joined a country club that had tennis, golf, and pool. They never golfed, but I think the cost was less if you didn’t want that access; kids did occasional tennis lessons; remember using the pool a lot in the summer. Some friends went to the same club. It was closer to our house than any restaurants, so looking back I also see that it probably had a lot of appeal as a convenient way for 2 working parents to do dinner on occasion. It was also very laid back–we could go sit on the couch in the bar area and watch TV after dinner–plus buffet means kids get fed quickly & adults can enjoy food that lacks kid appeal without preparing multiple meals.

    6. I’ll play, I’m in my early thirties.

      I’d join a family-oriented swim club if there was one easily bikable from my house just to be able to swim. Our city pool gets so crowded on summer weekends that you sometimes have to wait hours to get in, which doesn’t work with small children.

      I wouldn’t join a traditional country club. I’m sure there are good ones, but my experience has been with ones that exclude and convey status in ways that attract people who aren’t my crowd.

    7. I grew up in an upper middle class suburb of a SEUS city. We did have a municipal pool for the suburb. Many people were country club members, but also literally everyone golfed. We later joined a country club when my brother was older so that he could golf there.

      Now– I live in a SEUS city. There are no public pools at all. There is a JCC in our county. A YMCA in a neighboring county has a pool. They are both always slammed, mostly with young children. There are a couple country clubs here that people are mostly members of if they are super old money or if they are serious golfers. However, there are quite a few swim and tennis clubs, and most upper middle class people I’ve met with kids are either members or want to be members.

    8. My parents joined a swim club and I later worked as a lifeguard there. It was very modest–the people didn’t seem like they have lots of money. There were traditional country clubs in the area, but my parents chose this because it was the only way to swim outdoors in the summer. If you choose somewhere affordable and enjoy the activities, it can be a way to do them more as a family. Like the art museums in New York, if you don’t have to pay an entrance fee, it makes sense to go even if you only have an hour.

    9. A couple of my friends (mid-30s) have joined clubs in recent years. They all joined the club in our city that’s known to be the most liberal, but that doesn’t mean “less expensive” – I think they were all really pricey. In general, the major draw for many of my friends was ease of coordinating activities with children – there was onsite childcare they could use while playing tennis or golf, the onsite restaurant was really comfortable with handling families, and there were lots of kids’ activities (tennis lessons, golf lessons, swim team) and events (like photos with Santa). For me, as someone who doesn’t have kids and doesn’t golf, there wasn’t a lot of value to joining a place like that, but I can see how having sort of a hub for all of those activities would have some appeal.

      When I was growing up my subdivision had a pretty low-key and inexpensive swimming pool and two tennis courts and we belonged to that.

    10. If you tennis seriously GTAC is cool. I joined because they had a young adult special and I worked really close to there. I’ve also heard good things about royal oaks (not to be confused with that most tony of houston clubs) and its a bit out of the way.

      In terms of country clubs – some jobs / workplaces pay for club memberships for certain roles. In O&G people tell me if you are gonna be a landman you have to golf….

      In terms of my experience, I (until recently) never belonged to a country club. However, my family did belong to a really bare bones pool & tennis club growing up so my mom could get a break and put us in swim team / tennis / arts and crafts every morning in the summer. I think for the $750 we paid a summer it worked out to be cheaper than hiring a babysitter

  7. I have 48 hours with two 10 year olds (mine and a cousin) in PHX soon. I have been there before solo and for work. Other than Desert Botanical Garden, what are good activities? Little hikes, etc. And good restaurants (will be in N. Phoenix, closer to a lot of Scottsdale actually), but with a car and happy to drive a bit b/c it is so rare to see so much of the horizon out west, especially in the evening when the sun sets all over the sky.

    1. 48 hours is plenty of time to drive to Sedona or the Grand Canyon and do an overnight there. That’s what I would do.

      1. I don’t think that’s enough time for the Grand Canyon and that’s a lot of time to be in a car when you could be out enjoying something instead. I’d do something fun around town (Cracker Jax is a small area with bumper boats, go karts and mini golf) or the zoo. Do the electric dessert festival at the Botanic Garden at night.

    2. The Arizona Science Center is really cool. My kids were a little younger at the time, but they really enjoyed it along with the Children’s Museum (10 might be a little too old to really enjoy the Children’s Museum though.) The ghost town in Apache Junction is neat too.

    3. Hi! I hope you see this, because I am reading these comments really late in the day.

      I have a great recommendation for a hike that is still kind of in the city and near enough houses that you’ll feel quite safe with children – the Phoenix Sonoran Preserve (1600 E Sonoran Desert Dr). We go here every time we go visit my parents, who live in Phoenix right now. The botanical garden is a great choice, and check for special events (sometimes, there are show-and-tells where they bring out animals and you walk around learning about the Sonoran desert). The zoo is right across the botanical garden, as is the famous “hole in the wall” that would be interesting for kids to see and take pictures. The Camelback Mountain is a traditional hiking spot and place to go see, but kids probably would not go all the way to the top. You could also go for a leisurely walk through Old Town Scottsdale, where you’ll come across many shops, coffee, and ice cream/gelato for the kids. There’ll be restaurants, benches, and it is usually full of people and fun. Downtown Tempe is also a good place to leave the car and walk for a couple of hours, exploring.

  8. I watched a ton of Ice Road Truckers while ill recently. It is wild to me. They drive huge trucks and wear . . . shirt sleeves. When they get out of the truck, they put on a coat and a hat and (sometimes) gloves. Which is fine, but I have worn a LL Bean “Coldest” coat in my office in the SEUS recently. Are Canadians just that tough? Just the Ice Road Truckers? I am amazed at y’all’s cold tolerance (and massive trucks, that would have a following here for sure).

    1. Canadian here. Some of us are just that tough. Some of us wear Canada Goose parkas for the walk from the subway to the office towers. Mostly it’s that your body adjusts to different temperatures. This is why someone in Greece might think of 20degrees C as ‘cold’ but Canadians are rocking shorts and t-shirts. For the Ice Trucker show – they are outdoors a lot so exposure to the elements builds tolerance, plus doing phyiscal work keeps your body temp up vs. just standing outside.

    2. Fun fact: modern vehicles have climate control.

      This bothers me when I keep seeing “how to wrap an infant in tons of layers in the winter carseat” memes. I’m not in a particularly cold area of the country, but doesn’t EVERYBODY have climate control in their vehicles now????

          1. Unless I am thinking of something else, climate control is a specific feature where you set it to a temperature and the car adjusts fan speed etc. to maintain that temperature. My car has heat & AC, but not climate control — I can make it warmer or cooler, but I cannot tell it to stay at one temp (which is fine, I find that I don’t use the auto climate control given the opportunity). If you were going to be snarky with your ummm what, might as well be right.

      2. It can take awhile for the car to warm up, though. And you have to be prepared to sit in a cold car in case something happens and it breaks down on the side of the road.

      3. You’d think that my modern “green” office building had climate control, but you’d be very, very wrong.

      4. Yea this has always confused me too. We live in the Upper Midwest, so it gets pretty cold and until our daughter was maybe 1.5 we would just put her in her carseat in fleece PJs. We had blankets and stuff of course if the car broke down, but I didn’t see the point in bundling her up when we could just run the heat in the car.

      5. I don’t have a garage or remote start on my car. If it’s 10 degrees, it’s going to take a good 10 minutes to warm up. I definitely wear a coat/glove/hat in the winter when I’m just driving from point A to point B in my car because I’m cold, so I assume a baby would be cold as well.

    3. They have heat on the inside of trucks. Once the cab of the truck is warm, you can take off your coat and it’s fine.

      But yes, you also build up tolerance such that you walking around outside in a long sleeve t shirt when its 30 F degrees because that’s balmy as compared to the 10 F degrees it was a week ago.

      1. I’m from Minnesota, so also somewhere that gets cold temperatures. Yes, I’m more used to the cold than a friend who grew up in Florida. But mainly, it’s the heat. It’s so uncomfortable to sit in a vehicle for long times with a coat on. Whenever I do a road trip, I always just wear a sweater or something, and turn the heat up so that it is a comfortable temperature. I’m so that if I was a trucker, I would do the same.

        1. That is me on a road trip – Sorels, a sweater and a toque. I will not necessarily put on more than mittens on top of that if stopping for gas or a pee break.

    4. When I worked in a job where I interacted with lots of truck drivers, a huge proportion wore shorts in all temp/weather. It was more comfortable while driving, and they were only out of the cab for a little while. A lot had mocs/slides as well, and only threw their boots on when they got out of the cab.

    5. I live in Alaska and have been wearing Birkenstocks for the past week or so even though there is still some snow on the ground. Part of it is just acclimation!

  9. I’m interested in Trump’s threat to “close” the border between the US and Mexico. So, if that happens, what happens to the US citizens that were temporarily in Mexico and what happens to the Mexican citizens that were temporarily in the US. Would it provide any grace period for getting everyone home? Not surprisingly, it seems there is no precedent for this.

    I’m just thinking of my many trips to Cananda and what the heck would I do if suddenly we were told the border is now closed, while we were in Canada. Since we have money and passports, likely just fly to another country and then fly from there to the US but there are many people that couldn’t do that.

    1. What happens with air travel if the border does close? Do flights between the two countries get canceled?

    3. Also just realizing the big flaw in my fly elsewhere plan. We drive to Canada and wouldn’t just abandon our car there!

    4. And it would stop goods from crossing too, like produce and cars and other things manufactured in Mexico. He really just wants to do anything he can to cripple our economy.

      1. If Trump wanted to cripple the economy, we wouldn’t have the economic growth that we do now. That’s the result of deliberate effort to stoke economic fires.

        Stop ascribing hateful motives to people with whom you disagree.

        2. Lol defending Trump and also complaining about disagreeing in a hateful way is a special kind of irony

      2. Yeah 3.8% unemployment and a market that’s up 34% since the election certainly are crippling aren’t they?? I didn’t vote for him but the Trump hate is beyond ridiculous. Like him or not, the man manages to land on his feet as much as you all are hoping he falls on his face.

      3. “He really just wants to do anything he can to cripple our economy.”

        Look, I despise trump as much as anyone, but this really makes no sense.

    5. I think the land and air borders are relatively separate and he could close one without closing the other. I haven’t been following it too closely, but I assumed he was just talking about the land border.

    6. I don’t agree with this for so many reasons but I’m pretty sure citizens would be allow to go through. I think it’s against international law to prevent citizens from entering their own country.

      1. Your post made me realize I should add I completely 100% disagree with his plan, I was just interested in how the heck it would even play out.

      2. It’s not actually closing the border; they can’t do that. It would mean a search of every vehicle crossing the border, which is not how that is usually done. It would be so time consuming that it would effectively shut down the border in terms of commercial use. But it wouldn’t *actually* close it. So you could get across, it would just take a very long time.

        1. Most likely U.S. citizens could enter via land border, foreign nationals could not. It’s impractical for sure and economically damaging, but not impossible. Broadly speaking, any sovereign nation can deny any foreign national entry, so it would be a lot of turnarounds. I work in immigration and nationality, and that’s the only way I can envision it working.

  11. Papaya is vile. Dragon fruit is tasteless. Bananas are an abomination. Anyone else have fruit hate they need to share?

    1. Bananas are so inoffensive! I get thinking they’re boring but ‘an abomination’ is so strong.

          3. Ugh yes. They’re the worst. Apart from hating the texture and not loving the taste, I think I have a mild allergy to them. I get an itchy throat and a stomach ache when I eat bananas.

      2. One of my staff absolutely hates the smell of bananas! Even when her daughter was little, she wouldn’t have them in her house. Her daughter would eat them at her grandmother’s house. To this day, if someone is eating one around the office, I remind them to throw away the peel outside. She will pitch a fit!

      3. I can’t stand ripe bananas. I like them when they’re still a little green but as soon as they get ripe they make me gag. The smell and texture just set me off.

        Also wish every red delicious tree in America would spontaneously combust. They’re so mealy and tasteless.

        Possibly more controversial stance: I hate black raspberries. What’s the freaking point of them? (Love blackberries and raspberries and every other berry.)

        1. Ah yes – completely agree! There are a lot of good articles about how hated Red Delicious apples are!

      4. I LOVE bananas. It’s the only fruit I eat almost every day, as a mid-morning snack

      5. Bananas are tricksters. A good banana (one that is appropriately green/yellow, with no bruises) is a good fruit– it is easy to transport and store, easy to eat, does not risk dribbling juice all over what ever I’m wearing, and has potassium. But a bad banana is SO BAD. Mushy. Awful tasting. Banana strings (which are the literal worst, I will almost throw up if I look at a banana string on a just-past-ripe banana). I agree with emeralds- a just past ripe banana will make me gag. And for me they turn from good to bad on a dime. Bananas must always be approached skeptically.

    2. Passionfruit and red delicious apples are the twin satans of the produce department.

    4. +1 to red delicious (a travesty) and dragon fruit (dragon fruit is just styrofoam with seeds in).

      I also have a difficult relationship with bananas, but I still kinda like them.

    5. Applesauce makes me nauseous. Took pills in it for 3.5 years when I was little and the smell just turns my stomach. The taste makes me gag.

      1. Agree! I od’d on it at a Johnny Appleseed party in the 1st grade and haven’t been able to down it since.

        1. I’m 52 and when I was a kid, cherries actually tasted good. I haven’t had a really good cherry in decades.

      2. Why ruin perfectly good raspberries by putting chocolate on them!?!

        Best eaten warm, right off the cane, and riper than you can ever get in the store :)

        1. Here, here, Mpls! I 100% agree with you. I am constantly wondering why one has decided to ruin perfectly good fruit by putting chocolate on it, or ruin perfectly good chocolate by combining it with fruit.

          Mostly, I think any fruit that is cold tastes terrible. Then you don’t taste the fruit… it just tastes cold. Room temp berries for the win.

    7. I had a nanny who was grossed out by oranges, particularly the peel, so she wouldn’t peel one for my kids (including clementines, I think). I later found out many other people share this aversion, but I’m good with oranges.

    8. Melon. I know, once in a blue moon, you get a fabulous watermelon, but otherwise they’re mealy and tasteless. And they are usually what’s in fruit sides so I can never get a side of fruit at a restaurant.

    10. I must have been a fruit fly in a former life, because I cannot think of a fruit that I dislike.

      1. +1. I like all the fruits, but it seems harder and harder to get good, ripe fruit in US grocery stores. There are so many fruits available year-round, but each one only tastes good for a magical 2 weeks a year.

        1. This is why I get almost all of my produce at the farmers’ market or through a local CSA share. A piece of produce that is picked while wayyy underripe to ship a long way will almost never compare to the same thing freshly picked. I get sad about not having heirloom tomatoes in December, but then every time I go get one at the grocery store at that time, I end up even sadder.

      2. Same here! I once had one of those fruit bowls in Mexico with tajin and lime. And there was something bad in there! I don’t know what it was though haha. Maybe guava? But I’ve had guava since then so I don’t think that is what it was. But aside from whatever the heck that was, I have never had a fruit I didn’t love!

    11. Strawberries. I always think I’m going to like them (I love strawberry pies and turnovers and fake strawberry flavoring like in milk or Starburst candies ). But every real strawberry is too sour and that icky bumpy toad-like texture. I wish they would take their big ol’ selves and get out of my fruit salad already.

    13. Bananas are an abomination. I can eat banana flavored baked goods, or frozen banana in smoothies, but feed me any sort of a raw banana as “fruit” and I will gag and give up immediately.

    14. Honeydew and cantaloupe blech! So tasteless. And they are nearly always like 75% of a fruit cup so I never get it despite generally being a fruit monster.

      I always thought this was a ‘me’ thing until a few years ago someone I know p0sted a pic on FB. Their car had been stolen and the police recovered the stolen car and found the criminals took it for a joyride to Costco and bought a fruit platter… and ate everything but the melons!!!! Friend included a picture and wrote something like “I’m glad we’re not the only ones who hate melons” and I thought SAME.

    16. this is the greatest thread ever; thank you! (also I really hope it becomes a featured thread in the sidebar on the right).

  12. Looking for some thoughts on a date I had recently. I’m an associate in biglaw. Dude has a day job that he doesn’t love but it gives him flexibility to pursue a passion that he would do full time if he could make enough money from it. Let’s call him an artist. He travels a lot to promote his art and he spends a ton of time on his art when he’s at home. He said that his art is his passion so it’s not really like work for him – just like law is for me. I laughed and said yeah no law is not some big passion like art.

    He was flabbergasted. He said, but you spend so much time doing it, why would you do that if you’re not passionate about it? I tried to explain that that’s the demands of the job, I take pride in my work and I find it interesting, but I do this job and work these hours for the paycheck (to pay the loans) not because it’s my one true passion in life. Like if I won the lottery I would go teach or something, not stay in biglaw. He seemed to kind of look down on that? Or maybe feel sorry for me?

    I’m so confused by this reaction. It strikes me as kind of immature to think that if your career isn’t your passion then you shouldn’t spend a lot of time doing it. The guy’s 40, fwiw. Is this a values disconnect? He wants to hang out again but I’m not sure I want to.

    1. Totally agree with you that a career doesn’t have to be a big passion (and often it’s better to keep your passions separate from your career, there were some good comments about this over the weekend). That said, if he was just expressing surprise that law isn’t your passion, I think that’s probably not a huge red flag. If it seemed more like judgment/condescension, then that’s not good. I guess I’d be inclined to hang out again but listen to your gut and if you feel he’s looking down on you, then don’t be afraid to bolt.

    3. As a non-lawyer, I think of law as something that requires more dedication than a lot of other fields, so I tend to assume people are really into it, at least before they get burned out, ha. Like, it’s the demands of the job, so why take such a demanding job if you don’t love it, you know? (Maybe he’s underestimating the loans, or the salary difference of switching to a more low-key part of law.) I don’t think it’s a sign of a values disconnect if he feels badly for you spending so many hours on something you feel meh about, but you don’t have to hang out with anyone you don’t want to.

    4. He has a day job so he gets that a career doesn’t have to be based on passion. But it’s not a totally illogical question as to why someone would work a ton of hours at a job if they don’t enjoy it. Economic necessity is one of those reasons of course but a lot of people don’t realize how expensive law school is and how long it can take to repay loans.

    5. This was addressed on a recent Ask a Manager podcast – basically we are sold a false bill of goods re how we should be passionate about our careers. Most people work for the money, and not for passion, and that’s FINE. I think she called it hitting the professional lottery if you happen to stumble into something you’re truly passionate about. Most people don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with working for the paycheck and having passions outside your work.

      But like, this dude has a day job he doesn’t love, so what the heck is he doing being flabbergasted that law is not your passion? I wouldn’t write him off if you liked him otherwise, maybe give it another date or two unless your gut says hard no, but his reaction is definitely a little weird (and naive).

      1. +1 – he’s buying into the idea that you do things because of passion, and not money. It’s weird that he’s so flabbergasted though – it’s not like it’s hard to understand doing a job for money?

    6. I’m an accountant, and during the “choose your college major” part of my life, I joked a LOT about how “nobody is passionate about doing other people’s taxes.” (I have since found that there ARE people who are passionate about that, and no shade to them!) I’m not in tax, but most people would still probably find my job boring. I don’t find it super exciting and interesting either. In fact, when I’m not at work, I spend almost zero time wishing I was at work playing with numbers. But when I am at work, I’m content to be there and I enjoy and feel good at what I’m doing most of the time. I probably wouldn’t quit the minute I won the lottery (I’m not good at doing nothing), but I would explore that newfound flexibility to find time to cook and read and write and go skiing…those are my passions, and I have no interest in hanging my livelihood on them and thereby taking the joy out and putting the pressure on.

      I don’t know what to tell you about whether or not to see him again – definitely listen to your gut on that one – but you’re not the only one who feels this way.

    7. Maybe it’s because his day job isn’t high paying and he’s missing the fact that more money = early retirement?

    8. If it were me, I wouldn’t, but I have no patience for grown adults who think that you are going wrong in your life if your career isn’t your passion. (IMHO, making a career out of your passion is a fantastic way to have neither a passion nor a career.)

      I’m in a more laid-back legal role, but I would also be leery of setting up a life with someone who has expressed a desire to leave his actual paying JOB and pursue his passion, especially if I were making BigLaw money. This is hard to explain correctly, but “bringing in money” is a necessary component of a functional household. It’s not that both people have to bring in equal amounts of money at all times, but both people have to respect the other person’s contributions, understand that a big paycheck can mean a lot of stress, and be willing to find other ways to balance out the load. One party shouldn’t be measurably more stressed and less satisfied in life than the other, for years on end.

    9. It’s just different values. Neither of you should look down on the other. I would only be upset if he was on public benefits to pursue his art. However, I don’t think you two should date!

    10. Aside from the naïve comment, I think overall this may signal a huge difference in values, maturity etc. Give it one more chance if you REALLY want to. But I liken this to some of my non profit friends who are not wealthy but have instead adjusted to whatever lifestyle their non profits afford them (which is totally fine and their choice) BUT because they feel money doesn’t matter they go on about — oh that job pays 50k more, that’s NOTHING I don’t get why you’d take a job that doesn’t make you HAPPY (an otherwise reasonable, 40 hr week, low stress job) for JUST 50k. As I’m like — what 50k gross is at least (and probably more than) 25k net of taxes and all other deductions — you think making an extra 25k when you’re making under 6 figures is nothing?? You realize 4 yrs of earning said extra 25k gets you 100k and that’s 1/10 of a million, right? And [crickets – followed by so what, money isn’t happiness etc.]. We fundamentally don’t get each others views on these things. I have a feeling as you get to know him more, you’ll find these types of differences. I know for me early retirement/down shifting and/or owning my own small business later in life are huge goals, so I keep an eye on money and am fundamentally not compatible with 40 year olds chasing “happiness” or “passion.”

    11. I’m on the other end of this I think. I am a lawyer, but in a non-lucrative, mission oriented type role (I went to law school on scholarship and lived mostly off savings, and therefore have no significant debt burden, so I am very fortunate compared to most lawyer). While I completely get doing big law to pay off the loans, or because of other financial obligations, I have a hard time dating people who hate their jobs or just aren’t passionate about something they spend 60+ hours a week doing, regardless of how lucrative or not it is. I didn’t go on a second date with a guy who seemed otherwise nice but was a community college professor who hated it but it was the best academic job he could get (his words, paraphrased). I absolutely would not date someone who disliked their job but did it just to have a lot of money for a luxury lifestyle. I find that they do not get the choices that I have made – I could take my skills to the private sector and make a ton more money, but I have no interest in doing that now, or ever, because I am passionate about what I do. Anyone who says to me on a date, “but you’ll leave in a few years and go make money, right?” or any variation of that, does not get a second date. The people I tend to date are equally passionate about what they do – lucrative or not. Some of these careers are not things that automatically scream “passion” – I would totally date a nerdy tax accountant who loved taxes. I don’t think different choices are wrong, I don’t judge anyone for them, and if I was in a different position maybe I would have made different choices. Many of my close friends have made vastly different choices than I have, but I look for similar values in someone I date.

      1. So you think it’s wrong to want a big house or a fancy car if the only way to get them is to take a job that doesn’t scream PASSION? Ok then . . . . You sound like my non profit friends.

        1. Not the above poster, but I have a similar mindset to her. (Yes, I left a big firm for a nonprofit.)

          I don’t judge people for wanting big houses or luxury goods or similar because I don’t care how anyone spends their money. What I do hate is hearing my friends complain incessantly about BigLaw life but also saying they have to stay for that stuff. If they want that stuff, that’s fine. But I sometimes wish they’d recognize that it’s a trade off and they really don’t HAVE to be in those jobs. I guess I wish they’d decide what they want most (and if that’s a $2000 purse—cool!) and focus on that rather than endlessly complaining about something that they, objectively, could change.

        2. She’s not saying it’s objectively wrong, just not something she wants in a partner, which is her prerogative.

        3. Try reading the thing you’re so outraged about first. Verbatim quote: “I don’t think different choices are wrong.”

    12. Well you clearly don’t respect his point of view, so don’t go on any more dates with him. But I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with him. Just different values.

    13. I think this is different values. Some people work to live, others live to work. The people who work to live are okay with making a decent income in order to pursue their passions and hobbies outside of work. The live to work people want to pursue passions as a living.

    14. Dump him now before it goes to far. Your values are too different. I’m on your side. Life is not all fun and games. Someone has to put their grown up pants on and do what it takes easy or hard.

  13. I would wear these if I was a girl dressing as a ninja turtle princess for Halloween.

  14. I am the Maid of Honor for my friend (we’re both 25), who is getting married next month at an outdoor ceremony in the Midwest. The wedding is not super fancy, probably cocktail attire, and I’m stuggling with what to wear on my feet. The bride has asked for silver shoes and I would prefer to stick with flats or very low heels under $100. I like the below options, but I’m wondering if they’re too casual: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/jewel-badgley-mischka-dalinda-flat-evening-sandals?ID=7693842&CategoryID=13614#fn=COLOR%3DSilver%26HEEL%3DFlat%200-1%22%3B%3BLow%201-2%22%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D342%26ruleId%3D136%7CBOOST%20ATTRIBUTE%7CBOOST%20SAVED%20SET%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D6

    Thoughts? Recommendations? This is the first wedding I’m in, and only the second I’ve been to, so I’m at a loss.

    1. I think those are nice. There is a similar shoe in a wedge that I think is just a little fancier and would be my choice if I didn’t want to do a heel.

    2. I think they’re beautiful, and not too casual. But why don’t you run them past the bride?

  15. PAGING LOTS TO LEARN: You left a question on teeth whitening on the weekend thread, I left you a response in the weekend post today.

  16. Quick vent: Last November, I got my dream job. Small firm, senior partner retiring and transitioning her practice to me. She is well-respected and has great clients and interesting work. Last month, three of the partners got into a huge blow up fight, my outgoing partner has decided to retire early. Her clients don’t know me well enough yet for me to plan on them staying with me. I wasn’t really involved in the big fight, but it left a bad taste in my mouth about the other partners. She just told me that she is leaving, and thinks I should move to another firm. Ugh! I was just getting settled in here!

    1. Don’t make any decisions now as you mind is clouded by emotion. You previous partner can afford such ultimate statements as she has left for retirement and is probably well secured. Stay a bit, see if the bad taste washes off, you can always leave later. But don’t give up just yet. Could you previous partner reach out to clients and endorse you?

  18. I am looking for a bunk bed for my 2 kids which I intend to use as separate beds for a couple of years (until my younger one has the sense to not jump off beds/sofas). Even as two twins I think it will save space over my current arrangement which is a queen mattress they share.
    Can anyone suggest good bed brands to look at for this?

  19. When have you ended an interview process early?

    Why? What stage – phone call, assignment, in person interview? You hear a lot more stories about companies rejecting people, obviously, rather than people rejecting a company or interview process. When have you done it? What made you feel comfortable enough to do so?

    1. I have, after one in-person interview. I knew it wasn’t a good fit, but it helped that I already had an offer elsewhere

    2. I withdrew myself from consideration after an in-person interview. It was a company that I’d had some interaction with when I was working in a previous role, and while it is a large and well-respected organization in our industry, we had always had inside jokes about how flaky the people there were. They were just kind of always a mess, never on time for deadlines or meetings, always making minor but noticeable errors, etc. Then I came across a job listing for my dream job there and made my way through the application and interview process. But my in-person interview just reminded me of all the previous interaction I’d had with them – the whole thing was poorly organized and I got different answers from different people when I would ask them the same or similar questions.

      It was tough to walk away because if I could have written the job description for my perfect job, it would have been this one. But I was already gritting my teeth and inwardly rolling my eyes at the end of one day of interviews – I knew I would really struggle there no matter what the role. My decision to withdraw from consideration was confirmed when my main point of contact requested a last minute call on a Friday (like sent a high priority email early Friday morning), no-showed to the call, and didn’t call me back until the following Tuesday.

      1. Well that place sounds like a mess. Did you already have a job at the time or were you unemployed?

    3. After a 1st round in two instances and after I had accepted an offer in another instance. After the 1st round — one place was downright abusive; associates let on (not so subtly) that it was a very face time kind of place where secretaries kept track of when you’re coming and going and also the kind of place where partners would call you at 7 pm to make sure you were still at your desk. I take what associates say with a grain of salt because who knows — maybe they don’t want a new hire in their class competing for partnership or whatever but then when I interviewed with the partners OMG — I could tell they were right. Complete DBs who spent a lot of time on scenarios in the interview (not done in law) and many were not work related but rather — you have an event to go to, but x happens — do you stay at work or go?

      In the other instance re first round — I didn’t mind the place but after I interviewed in my heart I knew I wasn’t ready to settle into a mid sized firm for life; I was still enjoying biglaw and working on big matters and while I liked everyone I met, I just wasn’t ready life or career wise.

      After the offer — yeah — should’ve have done that but something about the place didn’t feel right. They call and make me an offer, basically wanting an answer then when on Thursday I was like — can I have the weekend. They huff and puff but give me the weekend so I say I’ll call Monday. Admittedly I didn’t call Monday morning because I didn’t want to take it, but knowing I was 6 mos from a layoff I knew I HAD to. Kid you not they call me around 11 AM and leave me a v/m basically YELLING AT me that I’ve had more than enough time and they need a decision ASAP. I was sort of bullied into saying yes. But then as the days went by and they sent materials for the background check etc. really fast, it occurs to me that they are REALLY busy (they literally did a first round, 2nd round and offer in under 2 weeks and then yelled at me for a decision), so once background checks etc. are completed in 2-3 days, they will pretty much demand that I give 2 weeks notice and start the following Monday — no vacations etc. in between. And that’s when I realized that MAYBE I could convince myself to be ok with it if I had 2 weeks notice + a 2 week vacation, but no way was I mentally ready to be there in 10 days with people who had the nerve to yell at me while I was just an offeree. So I pulled my acceptance — and then got the “oh dear why?” treatment but I declined to answer and moved on. That one was obviously the hardest — to turn down a bird in hand in a slow industry when you have been told you’re laid off at year end and it’s an industry where you may not get another offer in the remaining 6 mos (I didn’t — but all worked out eventually).

      Look out for yourself!

    4. I have withdrawn myself from consideration several times. The first time it was for a federal agent position. I was interested in the investigative work but the more I got into it, I knew I couldn’t (and had no desire to) keep up with the physical aspect. Another time I withdrew myself after a panel interview over the phone when the interviewers were extremely rude to me, as in gruffly barked questions and didn’t even seem to get along with each other. They gave me a ridiculous written assignment (nothing like I had ever seen in my field and they were being a bit haughty about their organization if you ask me) that they wanted due to them THAT evening. Uhh no I have a full time plus job, I can’t drop everything and write you a paper tonight. I was so taken aback on the phone that I went along with it but emailed a few hours later saying I didn’t think it was the right fit for me. Both times I had a job already so that definitely gave me the flexibility to be choosy. If I am at all uncomfortable, I trust my gut.

    5. I ended the process after a second interview. It was for a nonprofit, and while I was completely on board with the exec director’s vision, I had big concerns about the board members’ level of involvement. Given the scenario laid out, it just seemed like I’d be subject to lots of second-guessing, but not very much practical support. I knew it would drive me crazy, so I sadly bailed.

    6. I walked out of an interview at an employment agency when the woman who owned the company flipped out on me after a very innocent question — she wouldn’t tell me anything about the company I’d be interviewing with and then said the interview would be held at the temp agency office and not the actual company that was hiring. That got my spidey sense up and made me thing something wasn’t right with the situation — was I replacing somebody they were firing? Was there something going on at this company that bringing in a new hire was cause for so much secrecy? Were they on strike and I’d be crossing a picket line? So I asked why the interview was being held at the agency office and not at the company. The woman WIGGED on me — total teeth-gnashing, hair-flipping, arm-waving wigged and told me that she was highly offended by my insinuation that she was anything but on the up and up and how dare I do that? I watched her go off the rails, told her that if she was that offended by what was a completely innocent and perfectly legitimate question that she absolutely refused to answer then yes, I did have reason to question what was going on and she could find somebody for the job who was much more gullible than me because I had plenty of c r @ p jobs in my time and I certainly didn’t need another. I got up and walked out and she followed me out the door screaming like a banshee about how she’d make sure I’d never get a job in that town for talking to her like that. I called a lady I was working with at another employment agency and asked if I was wrong in asking why the interview was being held at the agency office and she told me no, I had every right to know that information and that the woman who flipped on me had quite a reputation for that kind of behavior.

      A few years later, when I was laid off and had to take a job search class through our unemployment office, the career counselor that taught the class warned us about a certain employment agency. Yep. You guessed it. Same one. The reason? The woman that ran it was completely unhinged and would flip out on random people for the stupidest of reasons. Apparently I was only one of her many victims.

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