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Updated: Sep 10, 2019 102 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Hilty Bootie

Coffee Break

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These lovely booties from Sam Edelman are winning rave reviews and look like the perfect boot to wear with skirts this season, either with tights or bare legs. They come in a ton of colors and patterns, but I think my favorites are the sumptuous black suede (pictured), the great-for-fall caramel suede, and the black embossed — love. They're $158-$178 at Nordstrom, Zappos, and Amazon, available in regular and wide sizes 5-12. Hilty Booties It's been a while since we talked about fall footwear, specifically what to wear with tights to work — are you most looking forward to wearing your 1) mid-calf booties like the ones pictured today, 2) knee-high boots, 3) your closed-toe strappy heels for work, or 4) something else?  This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
  • Boden – 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
  • Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
  • Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Anon

    Anyone have advice for switching from being a morning-showerer to being a night-showerer? It would make my mornings easier and seems like such a simple thing that I feel silly for even asking, but for some reason I’m having a hard time just doing it.

    • DCR

      How easy this is to do depends, at least in part, by your hair? Can you just comb out your hair in the morning? Do you have to do something else after sleeping on it to make your hair look nice?

      I could never switch to being a night-shower because my hair looks like a bird’s nest when I wake up (and I need the shower to wake me up since I’m not a morning person, but that at least seems to be fixable).

      • Anonymous

        The second paragraph is me. I also sweat while I sleep. Are there actually people who don’t get all icky while sleeping and wake up feeling clean?

        • Lana Del Raygun

          I can do it in the winter when I’m not on my period, which isn’t enough time to be worth converting the whole habit to me.

        • nona

          Yes. If I’m sweating, I’m not sleeping – I can’t sleep if I’m too hot. So I adjust my bedding and pjs to match the season, so I’m comfortable. Interestingly enough, that almost always includes socks. even in the summer.

    • Anonymous

      For me, the only way I can do this is to straighten my hair after the night shower (or have unwashed second-day hair after wearing it straight the day before) or wear it up in a bun. Plus clean sheets and pajamas is a must for me to feel good about getting up and going without a shower. I am generally a morning showerer as a result.

    • Flats Only

      Not sure how your hair is, but when I used to blow out my curly hair I would do it 3 times per week in the evening, and then touch it up with large hot rollers in the morning while I put on my makeup. I understand that silk pillowcases or a silk bonnet will also keep your hair from getting birds-nesty overnight.

    • Never too many shoes...

      I am a night showerer, largely because my hair is thick and nearing elbow length so takes far too long to dry from soaking wet in the morning.

      I lover showering at night – washes off the grime of the day, sets you up for moisturizing and then clean jammies and get into bed all soft and sweetly scented.

      As for hair, I put in anti frizz and twist it up – if I want to blow out, it is 10 minutes with the magic Revlon styler in the morning.

      • Ellen

        Kat, I am alot like this OP. I now shower at night b/c of time considerations, and since I do NOT have a man in my life, it is much easier for me b/c my ex used to be all over me at night, so even on those occasions when I took a shower before bed and was all clean and dry and ready for sleep, he made sure to ruin all of that and sweat all over me with his awful huffing and puffing. I must now able to get to work earlier, so w/o the $ex, it is much easier for me to do so.

    • Anon

      I sometimes have a hard time understanding why people DON’T shower at night. I hate getting into bed without washing the day off (sweat, pollen, public transit germs, whatever it is). Maybe you can think of all the nasty things you’re exposed to throughout the day and use it as inspiration to be vigilant about what you bring into your bed?

        • Anon

          I’m Anon at 4:20 and I’m an outdoorsy person with an immunodeficiency so I kind of HAVE to be vigilant about what I bring into my home – both because I expose myself to a lot of “stuff” and because I don’t want to get severely ill. Definitely different strokes for different folks, but I’ve gotten so used to it that I do find it hard to picture going without my evening shower!

      • nona

        I’m not wearing my work clothes, coat, or outdoor shoes to bed, (and wash my hands when I get home) so I’m not that worried about public transit germs? Pollen would only be a concern to me if I were having allergy issues, or have been outside more than the time it takes to commute.

        On the other hand, a warm shower/bath can put you in a sleepy mood, so it could be a good bedtime routine.

      • Anonymous

        I don’t judge people for not doing it, but I will say my allergies got a lot better after I started showering at night and rinsing or washing my hair. My doctor was the one who suggested it to me.

    • Anon

      I have been a firm believer in night showers my whole life – the thought of getting into my bed with “the day” on me..I can’t. But now, I’m dating someone whose apartment I sleep at a few times a week. Has anyone else thought about how their male S/O has a particular odor to them? TMI? But I wake up and I smell like him, not in a bad way…but not preferred. I also know he does not wash his sheets as much as much as me. So my solution has becoming showering in the morning and nights on the days when I wake up at his apartment but sleep at mine, and extra moisturizer that day.

      • Ellen

        I agree with the smell thing, tho my ex’s smell was more of a stink that I did NOT like. My ex brought his own particular odor and smelley habits into my apartement, and I always thought I smelled like him when he was with me, b/c even when we did NOT have sweatey $ex, he was all over me anyway, and he had a bad odor that I did NOT like. FOOEY! I think b/c of him, I am afraid that any man that I may sleep with in the future will also smell bad, and that is probabley preventing me from reaching out to new men for a relationship that will involve $ex. That is not good for me.

    • Vicky Austin

      I love night showers! Keeps your sheets cleaner, relaxes me to sleep, etc. I try to keep my post shower routine to a minimum where possible so that I don’t put it off knowing what has to come after. Agree with others that your hair routine may need to drive that bus a little bit though.

    • Anon

      I just can’t do it. My hair looks like crap if I do and I need the shower in the morning to wake me up. Also I think to, like, reset my body temperature or something, because I definitely sweat more during the day if I don’t shower in the morning.

    • Anon

      I think this is unusual now, but I love a night-time bath as a way to wipe away the day and transition to bed. When I need to wash my hair every few days, I do so in a morning shower, but for me that’s not every day so I have some mornings with extra time.

      • Housecounsel

        I like to shower/wash my hair at night and take a quick bath in the morning. I absolutely must dry my hair completely, though, if I am going to sleep on it.

        • Biggest Balls in the Room

          +1 This is the same for me. I’m a twice a day shower/bath person. I like to wash off the day before bed but I also take a super quick wake up shower (with my hair in a shower cap) in the AM.

    • anon

      Before I became a morning exerciser, I was a devoted nighttime bather. My trick was waiting until morning to wash my hair, usually under the bathtub faucet or with a hand-held shower head. I have short hair; there is only so much I can do to mask the cowlicks and weirdness without getting it wet. I actually really miss my nighttime showers, but alas, mornings have proven to be my best time for a workout.

    • Anonymous

      A hand-held shower head combo changed my life. Since I have super fine hair with perky cowlicks there isn’t much I can do to fix it the next day if I wash it at night. I do a quick evening shower with regular shower head to remove the day and help me relax for bed but I avoid getting my hair wet. In the a.m. I just flip my head over the tub and use the hand-held shower head to wash my hair-takes only a minute or two.

  2. NOLA

    I’m looking forward to all of the boots! I bought new tall heeled boots at the end of last winter (to replace my old ones, that were wide calf). I mostly wore tall boots and tights with a skirt and sweater or a sweater dress last winter. I wear booties with pants. It’s currently 90 degrees here and feels like 95, so no boots yet (although I’m wearing the Sole Society light tan cutout booties that I bought in the NAS today).

    I really like the boots pictured, but man, they would last about 5 seconds on me. The suede on the heels would get torn up.

  3. Anon for This

    Hi ladies, I need some advice. I work at a small government agency. I have been out for several weeks on medical leave following a surgery. A friend of mine works in the same building but for a different agency. My friend talks to my co-workers on occasion and has told me that my co-workers are upset that I have been out as long as I have and have made comments that I should have been back to work long ago. It is my agency’s typical practice to give money in a get-well card for other co-workers that have had medical issues. This was even done for a co-worker’s husband who did not work in the agency. I have not received any texts, calls, e-mails, or cards wishing me well even though I have been out for quite a while. Although it hurts my feelings that no one even sent a .50 cent card from the office, I didn’t expect much from my co-workers. What I am seeking advice on is how to handle the negative comments and prying into my medical issues when I return. If I respond the way I want to, I am sure I will be chastised for not being friendly to my co-workers. But I don’t see why their opinions about when I should have returned should even be answered. I had a major surgery with many complications and am returning when my surgeon has advised that I do so. Any suggestions? Thank you!!

    • Anonymous

      Taking a page from the handbook for southern ladies, I think this is the perfect occasion for passive-aggressive fake friendliness. “I am just so happy to be back! With all the complications, I’m so blessed to have recovered so quickly. My doctor was amazed. And I missed you all so very much!”

    • anon

      You don’t have to answer their questions. If you choose to address it at all, I think you can say what you did here, as neutrally as possible–you had a major surgery, experienced complications, and returned when your surgeon advised you do so. Then say you’re glad to be back at work (even if you’re not).

      It’s the nature of illnesses, pregnancies, medical procedures, etc. that no two experiences are exactly alike.

    • Anon

      It really depends on what you want out of the interaction. Assumedly your friend didn’t talk to everyone in your office, so you don’t know how wild spread this view is.

      But, if I wanted to do something and wanted people to realize how hard my recovery was, I would stop by the main gossiper in my office and drop a few things about the surgery and my recovery, when saying that it’s really hard for me to talk about. She would spread that around, and I would get less questions from the rest of the office.

    • Anon

      Oh man, I feel you. I posted a few weeks ago about my office manager requiring a return to work letter following a fairly minor surgery that had me out of work 1 week and on work from home status another week. She had a similar surgery in the past and was back to work within days but mine was different and more complicated and I needed all of the time that I took. My office also always sends flowers and sometimes meals anytime anyone is out for more than a few days for a medical event. I didn’t even get a card or much of an acknowledgement on my return. It’s not that I wanted flowers or a card. It just feels like crap when everyone else gets it and you don’t. I feel you, friend. I hope you get well soon!

    • Anonymous

      Honestly, I would take what your friend said with a grain of salt and see what happens when you get back. If you really think there is snark going on you might raise it with your manager – “I’m concerned that people feel I did something inappropriate. Do you have any concerns?”
      Then if you get pushback you can say, “Manager and I are good. I’m sorry if it impacted you negatively – that’s really outside my control.”

      • Ellen

        I agree. I say FOOEY to people in goverment who are mad when other employees like you are out for legitimate surgury, b/c Dad thinks there is no such thing as illegitimate surgery. Besides, he says most people in goverment jobs that gossip like this do not have much work to do anyway, so why are they faulting you for staying out entirely? I agree. Dad also says that if these deadbeats could, they too would be out for medical reasons, and they are jelous of you for your time off. They are clueless, b/c they do not know what you went through. I would tell your boss they are gossiping about you and have him tell them to stop.

      • Anonymous

        I agree with the grain of salt thing but I think the last quote is a little heartless. Like yes it does impact other people when someone goes out. We can blame management all day but the fact is – your coworkers perceive that their lives were made harder because of your absence. An acknowledgement and a thank you (but not an apology) would go a long way. I would be pretty put off if I took on someone’s work for a few weeks and they came back and told me – well that’s not my problem. Like, I hope you never expect me to cover anything for you while you’re on vacation, because I will be “too busy” to do that, guess you’ll have to take your laptop to the beach.

  4. Anonymous

    I have always had an easier time falling asleep on the couch for some reason. I think it is a combination of: it is super comfortable, it’s colder in the living room, I’m not next to my husband, my hips get sore no matter what position I lay in in my bed, and there is so much bright natural light in the morning that I feel very well rested when I wake. Lately I just feel like, if I sleep better on the couch then why not just sleep…on the couch? DH says that is really weird and wants me to sort out these issues I listed above. For the record we have a queen size tempurpedic mattress, can’t fit a king, no spare bedroom, and turn the AC as low as my husband can stand it- usually 68 or 69 (he hates that I do this but I can’t sleep if I feel too warm).

    • Anonymous

      I sleep better on the couch too. My husband was offended at first, but once he realized just how much the lack of sleep was affecting me, he came to accept it.

    • Anonymous

      Can you try a different mattress? I hate memory foam. So hot, so uncomfortable.

    • Anonymous

      I think you need a new mattress. The Tempurpedic will sleep hot and it is clearly not supportive enough for your hips. I also think you would benefit from a sunrise alarm clock and maybe a watch or other technology that wakes you when you are outside of REM sleep. Maybe also get a fan that blows only on you. I am theoretically on team “separate bedrooms” (separate houses?), but clearly your husband wants you in the bed with him and that is important.

      • OP

        lol separate houses. We have been living in this 850 sq ft apt for 4 years and at this point I am team separate houses. Or like, separate wings of a very spacious house. I love him to death but so freaking cramped!

      • Anonymous

        No, her husband’s preference that they sleep together is nowhere near as important as her sleep. I am so sick of men who think their wives are their teddy bears and demand that they stay in the same bed even when their husbands are snoring, tossing and turning, stealing the covers, turning the heat up, and doing 100 other things to make sleep impossible. Sleep is too important to sacrifice for someone else’s selfish reasons.

    • Lana Del Raygun

      Your husband really can’t sleep if it’s below 68? Even in warm pajamas and socks? I sympathize with his desire to sleep together — I would be really sad if Mr Lana wanted to sleep separately — but he has to be part of the “sort out these issues” project. Can he put up blackout curtains? Sleep closer to the edge?

      • Anonymous

        I think a big part of his issue is he often works until 4am, taking calls from coworkers overseas. The only other space for him to go if I’m in the living room is our bedroom, which makes him feel trapped

        • Anonymous

          If he works until 4 a.m., you can sleep by yourself wherever you please and he can just deal.

        • Anonymous

          Oh man this changes everything! Yes the person who goes to sleep earlier needs to be in the bedroom and the person who is up later needs access to the kitchen/bathroom/TV.

        • Vicky Austin

          Wait, so is his issue “I wish you would sleep in my sleeping space” or “I wish you wouldn’t sleep in my working space”?

          • Vicky Austin

            Well why on earth does he feel trapped in the bedroom? I’d think that’d be the ideal solution. He can take calls all night long and go to bed when he’s ready at the temperature he likes. Meanwhile you’re happily snoozing on the couch.

  5. lsw

    Ugh, I love these! Can’t buy suede boots unless they’re Blondo, though, I live in one of the rainiest and gloomiest places in the US.

    • AZCPA

      I wanted to love Blondo but just…don’t. So I have a brand new pair of suede booties listed on Poshmark. :(

  6. anon

    Survey Q: for those whose work demands a relatively secure, stable, IT network–how many IT workers would you say support how many other employees? We have a ratio of probably less than 1:100, not including websites and a few specialty tasks. There are hold-ups in tech support and limitations to the system–and my patience is wearing thin.
    I suspect they are understaffed, but I’d be curious to hear how other places run.

    • Anon

      There’s no way to answer that question. Are you talking about general desktop support? System administrator for a particular application or suite? Running your own servers? I am one of two who administer my business’ instance of a cloud based system for about 22,000 users, of whom about 7k are active users. Our desktop support folks are in the neighborhood you’re talking about – around 1:100.
      Tl;dr – it depends.

      • anon

        Thanks, thats helpful. I guess I’m asking about all of the above, but primarily servers and desktop support. Nothing is cloud-based, and everything is done in-house, but only 1 application is broken out with separate staff.

    • Anon

      Law firm of ~100 attorneys, plus 60? admin and accounting, etc. We have three IT people. For a while there, we were having tech issues nearly every day, and we do have more tech issues than I’ve ever experienced in a workplace. That said, the issues seem to be server level (?) stuff – phone service drops, internet drops, Outlook drops. Hardware wise, the whole firm got fancy new laptops 2 years ago.

    • Anonymous

      I have no way to know how big our current help desk staff is; my company has close to 50,000 people. But it must be pretty ok, because I’ve never had to wait on hold more than a few minutes.

      In a previous life, I worked tech support and was one of 2 for a company of 300. It was rare that we were at “holy crap” levels of busy unless there was an outage, in which case one of us was working the problem and the other one was taking all other calls (usually related to the problem). This was usually not even a monthly occurrence. However, with only 2 people splitting on-call rotation, I didn’t enjoy being on-call 50% of my life and it was definitely a reason I left.

      I also worked at a larger help desk call center, about 90 people servicing 20,000. Some days that was perfectly fine for the workload, and other days it was very much not. I think it really depends on so many factors in the work environment.

    • Small Firm IP Litigator

      We have about 40 lawyers, 60 employees. We contract with an IT company that has one guy come on site 3 half days a week, and we can email him at other times. This sounds like it would not work but it does.

  7. Horse Crazy

    Paging anyone who has worked on local political campaigns:

    I have been offered a campaign manager position on a local water district campaign for 2 candidates. I have worked on campaigns in the past, including managing another campaign for the same water district. Last time I managed the campaign, I was a grad student, lived at home, and got paid $650/month for part-time work. Now, 5 years later, I have a full-time, $60k/year job (not doing campaigns, but related work) and am being asked to manage the campaign part-time again. I’m trying to figure out how much I should ask to be paid this time. I’m in a VHCOL area, and am supporting myself (i.e. no longer living at home)…I’m terrible at figuring out how much I “should” be making from this. It will probably amount to about 15-20 hours/week of work. Should I ask for an hourly rate (I would have to learn to “bill” my hours if I did this ), or a stipend, like last time? There aren’t really a lot of other people around who do this work part-time like I would be doing, so I don’t have anyone to ask or relate to.

    • Vanessa

      I don’t have any experience with this, but I think from what you’ve written here that it would make sense to bill your hours and come up with an hourly rate. Every campaign is different and this one may require more or less hours than the one your previously managed. I hope someone with experience can provide more feedback.

      • Anon

        +1 No specific experience with campaigns but an hourly rate is the most logical thing to me. Also the fact that you have more expenses and a full time job now doesn’t typically justify a higher salary for a side gig, so I wouldn’t use those things as negotiating points. You’re worth what you’re worth, and if you deserve a higher hourly rate now it’s because you have more experience and skills and/or would work more efficiently, not because you’re supporting yourself in a VHCOL area.

  8. Anonymous

    Does anyone shop at Kohl’s for work clothes? What do you buy there? I did an Amazon return the other day and realized I hadn’t shopped there for a while.

    • Anon

      I shopped there as a teen and buy children’s clothing, underwear, and home goods there now. But unless you have a very causal office, I don’t find look their adult clothing (depending on the piece, it is some mix of weird patterns, fit isn’t right, bad quality). But maybe it is like Macy’s, were the selection really varies by store and the selection at my local store is just bad?

    • Anon

      I don’t but I’ve heard they have good basics and I’m planning to check it out.

    • Anonymous

      Ugh, no. That place is a disorganized mess that stresses me out just walking through the doors.

      • PolyD

        Shop online! There’s basically no window for returns – I’ve returned things nearly a year later.

        That said, yes, it is very casual. I got some shirts from their Simply Vera Wang line that I like very much, quality is on par or maybe slightly better than Loft. I also kind of like the jewelry from that line – cheap, but not terrible quality, and sort of goth. Kohl’s is okay for basic sweaters, too – like cotton blend cardigans, I think from the Sonoma line and maybe Apt. 9.

        I also get Spanx/Assets from them when I have a 30% off coupon. Oh, and gym shoes – I like Asics and don’t really care about the color, so when last season’s shoes go on sale (and I have the 30% off coupon!) I get new shoes if I need them.

        • pugsnbourbon

          Former Kohl’s drone here (~7 years ago). PolyD is correct; I once returned an item had been purchased six years previously. That customer was … not my favorite.
          For workwear, you’re going to want to stick with Apt. 9, Elle, and some Vera Wang (these are all in-house brands). I have a few polyester blouses and shells that have held up very well. Thankfully these three brands are usually arranged close together.
          Sonoma stuff is more casual. The cotton sweaters are good. Croft and Barrow is mostly frumpy but I have a couple cotton/nylon cardigans that are great.
          They carry under-armour and Nike, but you can’t use coupons and they aren’t eligible for sale prices.
          Housewares are overpriced except pillows. DO NOT buy fine jewelry but you can get your watch battery replaced for cheap. I am 100% sure every store already has plenty of xmas stuff out.

    • Anonymous

      It used to be one of my regular stops when I worked in an business casual office, but it’s kind of a crapshoot. I’m plus sized so the pickings are slim anywhere, and my budget is much lower than many on this board. I now work from home and barely get dressed, especially right now being pregnant, so it’s been a while since I browsed for myself. But, we just stocked up on officewear for my husband who had basically none (about to leave the military, had a very different body last time he had to dress for a civilian job). There’s always a sale, Kohl’s Cash is a nice perk, and I don’t find the quality to be lacking for the pricepoint.

    • Anonymous

      I shop there for nothing. I had a horrible customer service experience with an online order a few years ago on a rush item and vowed never to spend money there again. I rarely shopped there before that experience anyway. I’ve always felt they carry children’s clothes and clothes for the 60+ crowd. I’m in my 30s.

    • Pep

      I have some Dana Buchman ankle pants I got there a couple years ago that I love, but unfortunately they discontinued them. Loved them so much that when I lost some weight, I sought out a smaller size on Poshmark and was able to pick up a couple of NWT pairs.

      (I work in a business casual office)

    • Biggest Balls in the Room

      I’ve had decent luck with shells and tank type tops for under blazers, sweaters. I actually bought a couple of cardigans for like $15 that are ok. They are a cotton/modal blend which works pretty well for the high heat where I’m at. I’d say a step up from Target quality but a step down from Lands End.

  9. Anon

    I am finally going to buy the J Crew Going Out Blazer. They are on sale for 30% off today. Is this about as low as they go or should I wait for another sale?

    • Anonymous

      You can occasionally get them 40% off, but you might be waiting a long time. It’s totally worth it even at “only” 30% off.

    • Anon

      Is the going out blazer formal enough for an interview if I pair it with the matching skirt?

        • Anon

          Thanks! I’m considering looking for another job, but my current workplace of 5 years is super casual (I wear jeans, t-shirts, and flats everyday, haven’t worn a suit since interviewing in college). I need a refresher lol.

  10. Anonymous

    What small things drive you batty when someone starts doing them? I hate people who press ENTER after every thought in text messages, so instead of one or two long texts you get 13. (Particularly on group chats…)

    • Horse Crazy

      Ha, my aunt does this, and she has an ancient phone so her texts come all out of order – it’s like a puzzle trying to figure out what she’s saying!

    • Anonymous

      I get irrationally ragey when people say it takes them a shorter amount of time to get from A to B than I know it takes. I think this stems from being the punctual one with friends who are… not. And said friends insist that it takes 15 minutes to get from their house to mine, but they are always 15 minutes late because actually it takes 30. When I tell them it takes me 30 minutes to get to their house they laugh at what a slow driver I am (I’m not).

      This drives me nuts even when it doesn’t affect me. Example: it takes me 20 minutes to drive to the airport, which is north of me. Someone who lives 20 minutes south of me said it takes them 20 minutes to get to the airport and omg the other day they almost missed their flight! My head almost exploded. It doesn’t take you 20 minutes it takes 40 this is why you almost missed your flight! And no it wasn’t “traffic” that’s just how time works! If you’d hit traffic you would have missed your flight! RAWR!

    • NOLA

      My ex will text or email me that he liked something I posted on Facebook. DUDE! Click the damn Like button!

      • Housecounsel

        I hate being read to. My mother reads me Facebook. My child reads me Internet memes, none of which I understand. Every parent meeting for my kids’ school or sports teams seems to involve someone reading me a memo. Do not read something to me I can read myself.

    • Never too many shoes...

      I have a girls group chat of 7 and we all press enter after pretty much each sentence. OP would loathe it.

  11. Anon

    How would you all wear this style boot — does it work with a pencil skirt? I sometimes feel like a mid-calf bootie either looks too casual, or makes my legs look stubby.

    • nona

      Well – i wouldn’t call this a mid-calf boot either. It’s kind of a high ankle. And yes, it’s going to be a stumpy look. I would probably only wear it with black or black patterned tights to avoid the visual line you’d get with bare legs.

      Or under boot cut/trouser cut pants.

  12. SoooAnon

    Married ladies, have you ever mentally taken note of a coworker as being really attractive?

    I’m happily married, as is he and have no intentions of doing anything about it but still find it uncomfortable to notice that he is attractive. Worse yet, he is (maybe) my boss.

    I work in a role where that doesn’t essentially mean that we’ll work together a lot, but I’m new to the job and will likely interact with him a fair amount initially.

    I don’t see myself behaving too weirdly so no major concerns, I’m just totally clueless about how to handle to my own reaction to him

    • Anon

      You’re not clueless. You know exactly what to do, which is to ignore it because this is a professional environment and some people are attractive. This isn’t an issue.

    • Housecounsel

      Yes. I actually talked to my therapist about it. I felt really guilty and conflicted even though I knew I’d never, ever do anything about it. My therapist helped me understand that with that line in place – I’d never cheat on my husband, ever – there is no danger in finding someone attractive and maybe enjoying working with him a bit more than I would have otherwise. That was a huge relief. The guy got less attractive and I changed jobs. No harm, no foul.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t think you can turn off your attraction. I certainly don’t think that something magically happens when a person wearing a robe pronounces you married, even if your marriage is supposedly the product of some holy higher power. Marriage is a commitment to fidelity (or sometimes it isn’t, but it sounds like yours is), not a morphing of a person with natural feelings and observations into one with feelings for only their spouse. Did you really think you’d never notice another person as attractive again once you donned the white dress and banded your finger? It’s the breach of commitment that can be a problem, not the observation that another person is attractive.

      Beware, though, the fact that this is a co-worker could brand you as a disgusting person per the ethos on this website. You are never never never to be attracted to or consider dating anyone at the workplace, even if they are your exact equal. Two summer associates at a law firm hooking up? Disgusting and a fireable offense for him. Two cashiers at the Walmart going out for pizza and a movie. Someone needs to apologize and quit or risk repercussions. Two traders at Deutsche Bank? No f’ing way he should ask her out at a party if he ever wants to work again. So, you may want to check yourself for that apparently very dangerous and inappropriate boundary crossing.

    • Anon

      Yep. I got over my crush because he got divorced and actually made an advance (not inappropriate, just a clear expression of interest) and I realized there was no way I wanted to blow up my marriage or leave my husband for him. I still work with him, I still think he’s cute, if my husband asked me for a divorce you’d better believe I would rebound with him if he were single at the time (and sometimes I fantasize about this) but I do not actually want to leave my marriage and am 100% confident I would never cheat on my husband.

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