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This came across my social media feed recently, and I could see it being great for those times when you wish you could add sleeves to a dress: there's a whole line of detachable petal sleeves called Henabee's created by actress Alex Borstein (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Family Guy, Bunheads).
From the site:
Founder and creator, Alex Borstein, imagined a genius way to solve her red carpet woes. Days before an event Alex would find “the perfect dress” — but so often it would be sleeveless.
Instead of featuring her arms, Borstein prefers to let her décolletage take center stage. Once upon a time, she tried tacking a bit of lace fabric into the armhole of a sleeveless dress… and voila! Problem solved. After receiving tons of compliments on the red carpet, she quickly went to work designing the first pair of Henabee's…
Borstein, a lover of fashion, has always been inspired by vintage burlesque and she wanted Henabee's to have the same sexy and fun feel while adding a flourish to any sleeveless dress or top.
Nice! I could see the sleeves being great for those times when you want to add a bit more modesty to your dresses and tops for whatever reason.
The pictured version (Madeline) is $68, but there are several designs and options to choose from.
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Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Anon
$68 for fake sleeves that arguably look more frumpy than just showing your arms? I’ll pass.
Anonymous
I actually like the sleeves but think that’s an outrageous price.
Anon
Yeah I’m kind of into this as a concept but more of a DIY.
Anon
I like them too and since I am the least handy person in the world, I might go for it.
I don’t like my upper arms and there are places where I need to cover them for religious reasons so I think this is a genius idea.
anon
I think the sleeves would be handy if arms need to be covered for religious reasons, but the price seems outrageous.
Anonymous
I don’t mind showing my arms at all, but I look a lot more proportioned with a broader shoulder detail, so might try something like this to “bulk up” visual detail.
Anonz
+1 this style does not look flattering for someone who’d be conscious of bigger arms
Anon
Advice for reclaiming focus and drive? Mine is completely gone.
anon
Give yourself a small, achievable goal and go from there. Also, I think it’s quite normal for focus and drive to wane this time of year!
anon
I’ve felt the same way since I got back from Thanksgiving break. I don’t have any great advice, just trying to do the bare minimum each day. Writing out a to-do list helps so I have a concrete idea of things I need to get done. I’m trying to start with small tasks in the hope that I will get motivated to do more. I just want to win the lottery so I can sit around and watch Hallmark movies all day.
Anon
This and more rest than I think I need.
Samantha
For short term, drinking some really good coffee gives me the push I need to churn something out!
anon a mouse
It’s not a cure-all but I’ve noticed that I feel more alert when I consistently take a B-complex vitamin. Oh, and getting more than 6 hours of sleep a night. That helps a little with the attention span, but I’m pretty sure my ambition is a covid casualty for now.
Liza
So this is weird but have you tried intermittent fasting? I find that when I use it (eat in a 6 or less hour window per day), my focus and motivation skyrockets.
Anon
Anyone have experience with getting rid of body acne, and for making body skin more smooth/glowy in general? I have a pretty terrible combination of existing acne, sun damage, and pigmentation from past zits that I should probably have dealt with before but live in a cold climate so I never show my back…
Anon
I used to get lot of acne on back but it has improved. I use Sebamed bodywash. I always wash and condition my hair first and then body, I also rinse my hair well so that none of the conditioner gets on my body.
Anon
Get a back brush or a back scrubber and use a benzoyl peroxide wash or a salicylic acid wash, or alternate them. Try to leave them on for a while while you shave your legs or wash the rest of you.
I don’t know if you can have someone help you apply stuff to your back, or whether you can reach yourself, but a salicylic acid ointment will work better than a wash. Benzoyl peroxide ointment may work better as well, but it bleaches fabric, so I personally wouldn’t wear it under clothes.
Anon
Also, make sure your hair products aren’t part of the problem. If you use conditioner, make sure you’re leaning forward when you apply it and rinse it so that it’s not sitting on your back skin. Maybe just flip your hair over as if you’re washing it in the sink.
Anon
Hair products with dimethicone are zit city for me. It took several years for me to figure out why I had acne for the first time ever, and on my back. I keep a plastic hair clip in the shower, and once I’ve rinsed conditioner out of my hair I clip it up and take a soapy bath brush to my back.
Anonymous
I also am a back hider who tried lots of anti-acne washes, but washing with the Aquis Double-sided Back Scrubber and a simple anti-bacterial soap really helped me.
Anon
I would be very careful using aggressive mechanical products which could cause more scarring.
My best results were with benzoyl peroxide washes and sulfur washes, but they were partial treatments. I recommend checking in with a dermatologist. Once my cystic acne on my face was treated, all my body acne went away. Spironolactone worked for me. It’s trickier if you are a young woman though – can’t take if you want to get pregnant etc..
Anon
If just for body, be sure to fully rinse out your conditioner and then wash your body. The conditioner can cause break outs. I think a body scrub helps with overall smoothness. I also like a salicylic acid face and body wash followed by a cheap Store brand benzoyl peroxide gel. The benzoyl peroxide will stain shirt or sheets so wear an old t shirt to bed.
Anon
Oh yes! I hope you see this. Here’s everything that helped me get rid of mine:
-fresh sheets every week
-fresh bra everyday
-no repeat wears on any shirt that directly touches my body
-panoxyl body wash after hair care products
-differin gel as a spot treatment
After everything healed up and stopped coming back in a repetitive manner, I dropped the panoxyl and differin gel
Good luck!
Anon
What is going on with my noodle soup? I can make chicken stock, fine. Add noodles only at the end, fine. Portion and freeze, fine. Somehow in the thawing and reheating, all of the noodles turn to mush, so rather than soup + noodles, I have a stew-y mush. It tastes OK, but it is jut not great the way it is when it is fresh. What am I doing wrong?
anon
IME, noodle soups are freezable, but the texture will never be quite the same. If it bugs you, the answer is to eat it fresh OR freeze just the broth and veggies, then cook the noodles and add to the soup after thawing.
AIMS
This. Noodles cook so quickly that there is no need to freeze them with the soup; I always just add new ones when I reheat.
Anon
That’s what happens when you freeze pasta. Freeze soup without noodles and add the noodles when you serve.
Anne-on
This. I’ve given up on trying to freeze noodle soups and keep a stash of good quality ramen/pho/udon noodles on hand to boil and add separately.
anonshmanon
this.
Anon
Noodles in broth don’t handle the freeze/thawing cycle well, as you’re finding out. Freeze the soup prior to adding noodles and then add the noodles when you thaw and reheat. You can precook the noodles to a little bit less-than-fully-done and freeze them separately if that makes things a bit easier.
Anonymous
It’s not you…it’s the noodles.
Anon
Add the noodles last, after you thaw it. Add some water to compensate for the water the noodles will absorb.
Anon
What is weird is that I can freeze pasta + sauce (as long as it isn’t something cream-based, like alfredo sauce) and it is fine. Pasta in soup: mushy mess. I don’t know why it is different, but soup is not pasta’s friend. Pasta is a delicate little flower when it comes to soup.
Cat
there’s a heck of a lot more water in a broth soup than there is in, say, a lasagna or casserole!
Anonymous
Tips on dealing with aging parent stress and family members who pile THEIR stress re aging parent on you? My dad has been having issues for many years now – I may actually post on this board at some point for thoughts. It is definitely a worry. While I worry, I’m also mindful of not letting my life pass me by in my 40s, still having my own small joys. I grew up in a family that is ALWAYS worrying at all times, even when there was nothing to worry about. So it’s been a big step for me to realize I WANT to be happy. Foreign concept in my family – that just takes the tone of what is there to even be happy out, you’re unmarried, no kids, this is bad, that is bad etc. I exaggerate but you get the gist.
So my mom calls and has to drop her stress on me. I let it go because she is the one dealing with scary things, and while she unloads that stress – she does want to talk about other things too. FWIW no one is ignoring dad’s situation, he has been to every type of specialist all of whom say nope you’re healthy, your tests are good, and he’s continuing to pursue care.
My sister OTOH – also single and child free – appears to do nothing besides work and worry about my parents. This has been the case for years even when things were fine – no hobbies, no relationships, no interests, not a reader. So she calls me once a week and ALL she wants to talk about is dad – over and over. Literally the same conversation about how she feels so bad, she wishes there was a solution, listing his doctors and tests, and then starts playing dr google. If you don’t engage, at some point randomly months from now she will SCREAM at you about how you don’t care about your parents. If you do engage, nothing is accomplished besides reopening the stress.
I guess I’m annoyed bc for once I had a good day on Friday at my otherwise not great job and felt optimism about what could lie ahead in the next year, and she had to call on Saturday and unload, absolutely would not engage on any other topic and here I am days later still annoyed that someone had to take away my small happiness. How do you handle? Honestly I wish I were married with kids just so I could be like – sorry my husband is waiting or baby’s crying, as people respect those “excuses” more than dryer just went off.
Vicky Austin
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, and I’d set a hard line with your sister ASAP about how you don’t want to have this conversation with her anymore.
Senior Attorney
You don’t have to listen to this. Really. You are allowed to say “Sis, these conversations are way to hard on me and I’m just not going to be able to do it any more. Let’s talk about something else. I watched a fun show on TV the other night…” And then when she starts up with the dad talk, you say “oops, I’m not able to listen to that. Love you, ‘bye.” And you hang up. Each and every time.
You don’t have to get her to agree. She doesn’t have to be happy about it. If she screams at you in the future, you say “I’m not gonna sit here and let you scream at me,” and you hand up the phone or you physically leave the room. It will feel weird and wrong to do something she’s not going to like, but I always tell myself “if only one of us gets to be happy about this, I pick me!”
You can do this. Really. And life will be so much better!
anon
+1. Other scripts that work validate (sucks that there is nothing we can do) then shut down conversation (too hard, not able to do it). You can also try to disentangle “are you trying to problem solve a solution” v. “do you just need to vent” is always helpful. Years ago, I remember DH saying to me when discussing a hot button issue “do you just need to vent right now and me not say anything,” and I was like “yes.” If she keeps saying vent, then you flip the script to “I cannot be the person you vent to as it is too hard for me.” And, plus a million to screaming just means hanging up.
Anon
+1 There is nothing wrong with saying that the conversation exerts a tremendous emotional toll on you.
Anon
1) Make an appointment for when you talk to your sister and be doing something else when she calls so that its easier for to not fully engaged.
2) Say “I do not want to talk about this, will end the call if you continue.”
3) Popular advice here but I think therapy for you will be helpful to figure out how to reach a balance of being involved but not too over burdened.
Personally, I have told people that talking about whatever they are going on about isn’t going to fix the problem (especially if it is non-existent). In extreme cases when the other person is clearly emotionally overwhelmed and I know that nothing I can do or say will help, I have also told people that I am not qualified to help you deal with your anxieties and stress, I don’t have the tools.
Nina
With my family, and after a lot of therapy, I literally have a (short, specific) list of topics my mom is not allowed to talk to me about. For things like this I’ve had to tell them to literally send me an email with the results or whatever, and then explain how I process things. Some people like to talk about health things endlessly and that makes them feel less anxious. Some people like to sort it out once and then change the topic.
Anonymous
OMG this. Until you said it I didn’t realize it but yes some people often older people do want to endlessly talk about health things. I’m the opposite where I get really nervous about even upcoming routine doctors appointments and I can’t discuss it. So imagine my anxiety as my parents got older and it was always – the dr wants this test, that blood work. My parents aren’t people who really listen but with me saying over and over again it made me nervous and I didn’t want to know, they finally don’t tell me that stuff in real time – more like a high level summary after the fact.
Anonymous
“Girl you are stressing me out. I care about dad. This call won’t help dad. Im going to go.”
Coach Laura
I agree about setting limits with your sister, hanging up if she doesn’t behave, telling her shouting is not ok/leaving if she shouts.
But what about not answering her calls, or answering only half of them. Call her back when you are ready to deal with it and perhaps when you’re about to go into the dentist or something with a hard stop. Oops, my yoga class is about to start. Oops, my friend Suzy is here for our coffee date. Sorry, right in the middle of making cookies – they’ll burn.
NW Islander
I was a much milder case of your sister some years ago. Never yelled at my siblings, rarely ever engaged with them on issues actually, but I lost a huge chunk of adulthood to managing and worrying about my parents’ issues.
Therapy helped me understand that I was doing exactly what my parents expected me to do. Serve them. With all my time, energy, and extra money. My parents both have narcissistic tendencies and they absolutely expected me to orbit them and enable their bs, listen to all their worries, and manage whatever they wanted or claimed they couldn’t do themselves (I am talking basic activities of living like paying a bill). They had no regard at all for the impact on my life. My siblings drew a firm line with my parents and refused to support me or defend me against our parents’ entitlement or express any empathy at all when our parents demanded or took more, more more.
I’m not saying this is what is going on with your sister but just wanted to present an alternative view that may help you consider her admittedly poor behavior.
I also recommend the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
Anonymous
OP here – thanks for this. I do get what you’re saying. And yes my parents are the type who would want both of our lives to revolve around them because after all what lives do unmarried old daughters have? I don’t mean that in terms of doing stuff like bill paying but just in terms of worrying and obsessing. My mom at least at some level cares if I get to do the things I want, travel etc. but my dad takes a very – what else do you have to do besides work – approach to life. I am seeing how this will make my own life and am drawing lines.
Thing is my sister does nothing for them – she just talks and talks and talks and accuses me of not doing anything and not caring, when reality is while I draw lines I’m the one at their home more and as the future looks I will have to deal with them. She feels that her non stop discussion of the issue does something but in reality in a screaming fest a few years ago she made VERY clear that her life – as in work – was in Manhattan and no way was she disrupting her job to be anywhere but Manhattan. Yet it’s just setting up this thing of – I won’t do much but I’ll non stop question and criticize everyone else as not caring enough. Honestly she needs distraction and to pursue something fun in her own life.
Anon
OP you sound very reasonable in a tough situation! I really second the advice to say Sis, I love dad and I’m doing a lot for him but I can’t do this venting with you every week, and I miss YOU. If there is something you want to problem solve together we can talk about that but I can’t just hear how worried you are. So what are you watching on TV?…
Anon
A guy I had a crush on in my friend group a year ago is now dating another girl. He had lavished me with a lot of attention last year and called me one in a million, but I would never have dated him because of what other people in our friend group said about him (basically that he’s ultimately kind of creepy and not a good guy). He has a lot of external markers of success (super handsome, in his twenties and already worth millions), and though I usually date for character and am most attracted to sweetness/loving energy, I feel like the flashiness of this guy had a strong pull on me. He’s also very smart and just like really charismatic, so you can feel like you are closer to him and have a stronger connection with him than you actually do.
I’ve had run-ins with him a few times back to back over the last couple of days just going about day-to-day life, and I am now battling neurotic thoughts about him. They don’t make a lot of sense, but the basic gist is “Oh wow, he seems really committed to his new girlfriend, maybe he is transformed from the creepy guy he used to be.” Or, alternatively, “maybe I care too much about character and people being sweet, and I shouldn’t have had doubts about someone for not having those things.” Or that I am overly judgmental about people’s character, or that if I were less uptight about that it might open up other possibilities for dating people who are fun/compelling in other ways. The last thing is comparing myself to the other girlfriend. Even though this guy expressed interest in me and I didn’t reciprocate, and even though he and I never dated, I still feel as though he chose her over me and am now searching for clues as to why. It feels like she must be better than me and I’m searching for ways to determine if she is / how so.
It’s been a couple of days of this and I feel miserable. Is there any advice you’d give me? I’m a neurotic person in general but I feel especially frustrated with myself in this case because I feel like I’m having so many thoughts and romantic feelings that go against what I know is logical and even what my values are.
Anon
You always want what you can’t have? You weren’t interested in him when he didn’t have a girlfriend.
You need to stop the fantasy now. He showed you who he is, you believed him, and you need to keep believing him.
Move forward.
Anonymous
I mean take it FWIW as I’m a long time single but you all are in your 20s and he’s with another gf, for now I’d play it as – he isn’t available, let me go do what I want. Go date other people if you want, character or not, money or not, whatever. If at some point he becomes available, you reassess it then. If you don’t want to date that’s fine too, go work a ton or travel or whatever – anything so you don’t pine away for someone who isn’t available to you. And if and when he is broken up, see what you want to do then.
Anon
Maybe your instincts were right, and maybe they were off-base and you should have dated this guy when you had a chance. None of that matters now, because he has a girlfriend and as you probably know, it’s extremely uncool and completely unacceptable to go after another girl’s boyfriend, even if he is rich and handsome and blah blah blah. If he breaks up with her and you have another chance to date him, great. Otherwise you need to put him out of your head and go find someone you can date who isn’t this guy, because this guy is spoken for. That’s it.
P.S. Cognitive-behavioral therapy helped a ton with teaching me techniques to get myself out of negative or unproductive thought spirals.
Anon
Have you posted about this before?
He dated the other girl because she responded to his overtures in a way you did not. Do you expect that a handsome, successful man will chase a woman who is not interested in him? Life doesn’t work that way.
You have no idea what their relationship looks like on the inside, nor do you know what it will look like months or years from now. I cannot tell you how many times I have been abjectly miserable in a relationship but had people (usually women, FWIW) just gush about how good we were together or what a catch he was. Life lesson that goes well beyond this dude: you have NO idea what goes on in other people’s relationships.
anon
+1. I would continue to trust your friends and your instincts about this dude. Maybe he really did change for this woman, but if he’s as charismatic as you say, he’s probably also really good at the beginning stages of a relationship and/or making a relationship look good from the outside.
Anon
+100.
Anon
You need to distract yourself.
If you still can’t stop thinking about him, read all the horror stories here about creepy men or controlling ones. Then imagine yourself in those scenarios and be glad that you passed him over and the new gf is going to take time to find out those same things about him before she gives him the push.
anon
If his own friends say he’s not a good guy then he’s not a good guy. I’m guessing you’re unhappily single, don’t have other romantic prospects lined up, and you’re fixating on him because you don’t have a clear picture of your future. You need to go on dates with other people and stop thinking about what might have been. Have a friend take cute photos of you, delete your dating app profile, and recreate it to boost your matches. Put your energy into finding a worthy partner instead of ruminating about someone you know is probably a bad fit.
Anon
This.
Liza
I recommend reading “He’s Just Not That Into You” and seeing if this guy’s behavior aligns with someone who actually was sincerely interested in you, or was just flirtatious. I’m not seeing in your post any evidence that he actually asked you to date him, but maybe it’s implied. But it may help you put into perspective whether there was actually a real opportunity that you passed up, or whether nothing would have come of it regardless of how you responded.
Anon
I just got an interview for a mid-level position with Goldman Sachs!!! I am over the moon. I welcome tips and good vibes! It’ll be over Zoom.
Chl
Good luck!
Vicky Austin
The best vibes! Have the confidence of the proverbial mediocre white dude! You got this!
Senior Attorney
Woo hoo! Good luck!!
Anon
FORK. The dress I bought online for a “ball” on Friday night doesn’t fit. “Ball” in quotations because I posted before about the event – it’s my husband’s work event and he’s wearing a suit and said I should wear a long gown, but that didn’t make sense to me and you all advised cocktail attire. But I’ve now seen the invitation and it does call itself a ball and tickets for us to attend this thing are $100 pp, so I ordered a tea length dress that I thought would be a great middle ground, but it doesn’t fit. So either I need to Prime something up in the next day or so or brave the ravaged dress departments of what used to be the local mall. Kindly pray for me. UGH.
Or want to online search for me? No budget, I guess. Size 16-18. Pear shape. Since it’s a work event, prefer to be pretty covered up.
NYCer
At this point, if you have a cocktail dress you feel good in, I would just wear that. I find you get a mix of long dresses and short dresses at events like this.
Anon
+1 that’s my experience too, especially if the men aren’t even in tuxes, and sometimes when they were.
IL
+1 The day before an event I shop my own closet. Anything I have in there (helllo Ralph Lauren dress I thrifted in law school!) will most likely fit better than what I panic buy.
Anon
Nope, I have nothing. COVID weight plus WFH life…
Anon
I would go to your local stores tomorrow after work and see what they have as a backup. For tonight, shop your own closet and see how you can dress things up with jewelry and accessories. Worst case scenario, see if a close friend has something you can borrow wether it be jewelry, accessories or a dress.
Anon
Try Kiyonna brand. They sell on Amazon and should have some quick shipping choices.
You should fit one of their smaller sizes, and they tend to be fairly stretchy so that’s good. I like their styles and they know how to flatter a fuller shape (mine too.)
Anon
Here’s one
Kiyonna Women’s Plus Size Mon Cherie Lace Dress https://a.co/d/77mTUJE
Anonymous
Is rent the runway an option?
Anonymous
How about something like this? https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BHGSSP19/ref=sspa_dk_detail_2?pd_rd_i=B0B7B6XVD5&pd_rd_w=xcSDB&content-id=amzn1.sym.88097cb9-5064-44ef-891b-abfacbc1c44b&pf_rd_p=88097cb9-5064-44ef-891b-abfacbc1c44b&pf_rd_r=JPNQ7XQR1V7DMBSDPB1J&pd_rd_wg=FEB7g&pd_rd_r=ba1335ef-ed41-483e-93c1-af4b6546e341&s=apparel&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9kZXRhaWw&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyRTlCSVk5TlVDR0NXJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNTg1OTA5VUZTU01ZQVNDWDVKJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTAwNzk5NTNFVUtPVTYyTzNCUk0md2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9kZXRhaWwmYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl&th=1&psc=1
TrixieRuby
great find!
Anon
I like some of Anthro’s stuff – you could overnight it.
Anon
https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/by-anthropologie-twist-front-sequin-dress?category=plus-size-dresses&color=041&type=PLUS&viewcode=c&quantity=1&size=16%20W
Anon
https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/hutch-sequin-bow-dress?category=plus-size-dresses&color=061&type=PLUS&viewcode=c&quantity=1
anon
I love this so much! I wish the skirt were floor length. DH and I have a ball to attend in January where this would be perfect if floor lenght. Alas, the men are in white tie/tails, and the dress code is very clear about floor length dresses, not tea length, not cocktail, and not pants.
Anon
There are some modest Adrianna Papell dresses on Amazon prime available in your size. It probably varies by location but several of them are promising Friday delivery (either standard prime or for a small fee to expedite delivery) to my default Amazon address.
pugsnbourbon
+1 to Adrianna Papell. I don’t remember OP’s budget but they’re in the $150-$350 range.
Anon
https://www.amazon.com/Anne-Klein-Womens-Sleeve-Titian/dp/B09BZZ34MQ/ref=sr_1_1?crid=12JAOTA19YEIY&keywords=anne+klein+long+gown&qid=1670368003&sprefix=anne+klein+long+gow%2Caps%2C134&sr=8-1
https://www.amazon.com/Maggy-London-Womens-Petite-Sleeve/dp/B09GTTMHQN/ref=sr_1_3?crid=3BJ1R91GDPPW8&keywords=maggie%2Blondon%2Bgown&qid=1670368086&sprefix=maggie%2Blondon%2Bgown%2Caps%2C89&sr=8-3&th=1&psc=1
https://www.amazon.com/Adrianna-Papell-Womens-Sleeve-Blouson/dp/B07FWC5TT6/ref=sr_1_18?crid=775XS1UM8EDG&keywords=Adrianna+Papell+gown&psc=1&qid=1670368183&refinements=p_n_size_six_browse-vebin%3A2445384011&rnid=2445377011&s=apparel&sprefix=adrianna+papell+gown%2Caps%2C103&sr=1-18
https://www.amazon.com/Adrianna-Papell-Womens-Sequin-Sheath/dp/B0B9PZRCX8/ref=sr_1_57?crid=775XS1UM8EDG&keywords=Adrianna+Papell+gown&psc=1&qid=1670368226&refinements=p_n_size_six_browse-vebin%3A2445384011&rnid=2445377011&s=apparel&sprefix=adrianna+papell+gown%2Caps%2C103&sr=1-57
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Celia
Do you live near a Nordstrom? You can shop the website and see if they have anything you like available for pickup. Like that you can get 2-3 items and just immediately return the one(s) that don’t work.
Pep
Do you live near a Nordstrom? You might call their personal shopper, explain your situation, and make an appointment with them after work today. They would do all of the legwork of going through the store stock and having some candidates waiting for you in a dressing room.
Anon
Is Iceland a good place for an active couples trip? I assume there’s lots of good hiking there? Dh and I were supposed to go to Switzerland this summer sans kids to celebrate a milestone but the plane tickets there are INSANE (almost $2k per person for economy tickets from a major US airport!) and we can go to Iceland for like $700 per person. We could take a whole other trip with that price difference! So we’re leaning towards Iceland. I went as a kid and it was fine but not my favorite trip, but I definitely have more appreciation for beautiful scenery now and DH and I are a lot more active than my parents. Any tips for how to spend a week? I assume we’d need to rent a car. We’d prefer to base ourselves in a couple of hotels and not move around every day if possible.
Anon
I know everyone and their brother loves Iceland, but it was just kinda meh for me. I preferred Scotland for hiking.
Senior Attorney
Iceland is fantastic and our hikingest friends loved it! Here’s a list that looks interesting (scroll down for the one day hikes): https://adventures.com/blog/best-hikes-iceland/
We stayed at the Hilton Canopy hotel in Reykjavik and loved it — it’s really centrally located. And if you’re into food there are some really fabulous restaurants in Reykjavik so figure out which ones you want to try and make your reservations early.
And whatever you do, don’t eat the fermented shark! (I did it so you don’t have to!)
Senior Attorney
As for how to spend a week, I’d do one day Golden Circle, one day south coast, one day Blue Lagoon, one day Snaefellsnes Peninsula, at least one day hanging out in Reyjkavik. I’d skip the whale watching (we went and it was pretty cold and we didn’t see any whales, but YMMV — we saw a lot of puffins and that was fun). We did a private walking tour of Reyjkavik on the first day and really enjoyed it plus it gave us a nice sense of the culture.
OOO
DH and I did Iceland in a week and it was amazing! We rented a car and drove around the island, and stayed in a different hotel each night. I know you said you didn’t want to move around, but there are so many great hiking spots and variation in landscape that I think it’s worth it. It was a 2-4 hour drive each day which wasn’t bad at all.
OP
Yeah I figured that might be the case. It’s ok. Can you share your itinerary for where you stayed and hikes you did? I’m kind of overwhelmed about where to even start.
Celia
One of my coworkers did this with his wife and it seemed incredible/l. They rented a car and drove around a lot, had bikes, did the famous lake stuff, rode the little horses. He said it was one of the most fun trips they’ve ever had and they do a lot of cool and active traveling. So I say go for it!
Anon
Ugh. I wrote in last week re the Puppetmaster Mom. PM asked me (or like told me) to do a bunch of things documenting that her kid had done a thing in our shared kid activity. Um, a couple of things: 1) I don’t work for you, but I volunteer to help out and 2) I am going to volunteer in such a way that I am not creating some special path for your kid while not affording it to other kids (would be way too much work), so what I do for any kid, I will do for all kids (mine included), but it has to be workable in with my work and other commitments (so not creating a recording system for you kid’s achievements). Since then: so frosty. But maybe the upside is that I can encounter her less. [No other parents ask me to do anything special on behalf of their kid.]
Anon
Some people are so clueless about the amount of work their ask entails. I have found that a super pedantic explanation of all the steps with a calculation of time requirement and a verdict on whether that time is available gets me out of dumb requests without completely ruining the relationship. I do have a reputation for being an over-explainer and a very boring person with certain acquaintances and coworkers, which suits me just fine but YMMV.
Anon Aussie
I love this! I need to be more like you and get super pedantic instead of my usual reaction.
Anon
I think she can be frosty and that’s fine. You should feel good about not giving a kid special treatment because of their parent’s meddling. That kind of meddling is bad for the kid, bad for the mom, and bad for the community.
Vicky Austin
+1 – let her frost
Anon
Personally, I love it when I set a reasonable boundary and then the person I communicated the boundary to self-selects out of being my friend. So much nicer than letting people walk all over me, then I spend a ton of time being bitter and resentful, then when I try to communicate the teeniest boundary, it turns out the person was really only in the friendship so they could take advantage of me, and the whole thing falls apart anyway. I’ve done that dance too many times and don’t have time or patience for it any more.
Monday
Absolutely this. As long as they have no official power over you (as in a work situation) it’s all upside. 3:58’s take is great too.
No Face
+1
Senior Attorney
Yes! I’m calling it a win, OP!
Chl
Does anyone have any fun New Year’s Eve party ideas for a bunch of middle age neighbors and our elementary age kids? We all have kind of small houses for entertaining. I was thinking maybe a progressive? Game night? Backyard dance party? Which in chicago I never would have considered before the pandemic… thanks!
2L
Yankee swap! Everyone brings the weirdest/tackiest thing in their house and wraps it so no one knows what they’re getting until the game is over.
Mouse
Yes! I did a “regifting only” white elephant once and it was great – lots of weird stuff!
AIMS
A regifting party after the holidays is a great idea!
Anan
We do a dumpling party for New Years Eve. I made filling and dough and we all sit around and roll wrappers and wrap dumplings. The kids help or don’t, depending on mood.
Anonymous
Fondue and board games! Murder mystery dinner party!
Anon
this sounds fun! i like the idea of a progressive party. when I was in college my sorority had an “around the world” party with drinks with different themes at each location – obviously that is NOT what I am suggesting for a group of elementary aged kids, but maybe some kind of theme with a game or food at each location? or one house for appetizers, next house has an activity, third house has main course, next house another activity and fourth house has dessert? like something ot mix up the eating with activities? you mention backyards – s’mores? the blogger/instagrammer Days with Grey has some good kids New Years activities
Anon
I actually kind of think an “around the world” would be fun for NYE specifically – time it so that when you’re at that house/country, it is midnight in the actual country!
Tea/Coffee
This sounds really fun for a group (and is giving me throwback vibes to apple pie shots in someone’s dorm room lol :-)
No Face
My neighborhood is hosting a progressive party at a few homes this holiday season. Each home has a different activity for the kids.
Anon
Kids watch a movie, parents play Cards against Humanity or something else not-for-kids, appetizers can be for both because everyone likes pigs in a blanket (lil’ smokies, crescent roll dough, a side of yellow mustard – boom)