Coffee Break: Original Tall Cable Knit Cuff Welly Boot Socks

hunter-boot-socksThe weather is getting colder, which means you’ll soon find yourself dealing with slush and ice as well as cold rainy days. So take a look at these Hunter Welly Boot Socks — they’ve been around for years and are well reviewed, and everyone loves them. I never see them on sale, but Nordstrom actually has them on sale right now — admittedly in some very bright colors, but I think they’re fun. (More colors are here.) The socks come in sizes M and L and they’re currently marked down to $33 from $50. For an even lower-priced option from Hunter, here’s a style that’s on sale at Nordstrom for $19/pair (without the cable-knit cuffs, though). Hunter Original Tall Cable Knit Cuff Welly Boot Socks



  1. Maddie Ross :

    Just FYI – these do not wash well for some reason. I would highly recommend wearing a thin sock underneath them so that there is not as much of a need to wash every time you wear.

  2. London Recs? :

    I’m going to London for the first time in my life to visit my 20-year old sister for a week in January – what should we do? She will have only been there a week, and neither of us have endless budgets. We both appreciate history but want to include some pubs and shopping into our trip too. Any ideas?

    • London Recs? :

      And packing tips would be useful too! I live in a cold climate, but I’m interested in London style and level of formality/causal dressing that is acceptable. Thanks!

      • anon anon armani :

        British Museum. Tower of London. Both on the red bus hop on/hop off system. Victoria & Albert Museum (near Harrods).

        Light of India restaurant – superb for years now. In Kensington, ground floor of the Montana Hotel.

      • So lovely! My favorite big department store is Selfridges, which I would recommend if you have limited time.

        Regarding level of formality: it depends on what you’re planning on doing. Super trendy clubs will enforce dress codes (e.g., no sneakers), but if you’re going to pubs, it’s all going to be fairly casual.

    • If I’m remembering correctly, I think most of museums do not have entrance fees. I would recommend The National Gallery and Trafalgar Square.

      I went in December about six years ago. I wore leggings and jeans tucked into boots along with knit tops and layers. I wore a knee length puffer jacket with a hood to keep warm. The hood helped when there was a light rain too.

      For sightseeing during the day, I found everyone to be dressed pretty casually.

    • I’ve posted this before, but this is what I always send my friends. I lived there for several years (a while ago!) but I go back and visit for a week or more every few years, because all my American friends that married Brits are fun to visit!

      Buy a pocket A to Z guide (pronounced A to ZED!, accept no imitations) at the first newsagent you see—it should be about GBP7, and you won’t be lost—it’s so worth it. Otherwise, all other maps (especially giant folding ones) don’t really cut it. London is a rabbit’s warren of streets—it was never modernized like Paris).

      One tip—as you take the Tube, each station has multiple exits. Make sure, before you leave, to check the walls of the Tube—there’s a map that is local that shows the next few blocks and attractions. If you find that map, it will tell you which exit to walk out of. Otherwise (trust me, I even have a great sense of direction) you will be all turned around and lost, all the time.

      London is quite confusing. There are neighborhoods that sometimes do and sometimes don’t correspond to the Tube stop they are near. For instance, Bloomsbury is a part of London, but there’s no Bloombury tube. So you kinda just have to find wherever you are going via closest tube and clutch your “A to Z” to get there exactly. The neighborhoods are historical, and there’s no way you’ll really get your head around it as a tourist. I didn’t even fully figure it out until I lived there a second time. So, that’s not saying you don’t have to try, but…it’s hard.

      Take the Heathrow Express in and out. You get into Paddington (Pink and Yellow lines, upper left of Central London). If you do buy an OysterCard (and I recommend you do), you only need Zone 1…nearly everything you’ll want to see is in Zone 1, and you can “top-up” to Zone 2 as need be.

      Cabs (though pricy) they are cool during off-peak times and a good way to see the city. Cab drivers are also really fun to talk to. Ask them to talk to you about how they get qualified to be a cabbie—it’s called “The Knowledge.”

      National Gallery (Picadilly/Trafalgar Square, free, just pop in);

      Victoria & Albert (known as the V&A) (Tube: South Ken or Knightsbridge; this is also very close to
      Harrod’s if you want to pop in and check out the Food Court at Harrods (a sight to behold in and of itself)

      Tate Modern (not super-close to any Tube, but a short walk along the South Bank from London Bridge Tube);

      (Original) Tate Britain (Tube: Pimlico); One thing that’s cool is that you can take a boat from the Tate Modern to the Tate Britain. It’s only a few pounds and is a fun way to see the City—highly recommend.

      My favorite museum is Sir John Soane’s House (Tube: Holborn—kinda hard to find—make sure you have a map). Basically this rich old eccentric dude died about 100 years ago and decreed his whole house needed to stay exactly as-is. Very cool. You’d love it. They have candlelight tours which are also really cool.

      My second favorite museum is the Cabinet War Rooms—this is where Churchill and crew hid, underground, and directed the war. This also was left largely as it was and is a really cool way to step back into time and understand the blitz. Near St. James/Westminster tubes.

      Other must-dos (not in any particular order):
      Take High (Afternoon) Tea somewhere fancy on a day when the weather’s crap—this is a bit pricy, but super-fun and super-Londony. You often need a reservation and it should be about GBP35/$50 or so per person, but it’s worth it, because you can make them bring you unlimited tiny sandwiches. I like Claridges best (a five star hotel—dress slightly better for it). The room they serve tea in is exquisite and really Gatsby-esque. (To be fair, you can get tea EVERYWHERE in Britain, but it’s fun to go somewhere awesome for high tea.)
      St. Paul’s Cathedral—it really is worth it to climb to the top and look at London. It’s a neat old European cathedral too. Right across the river from the Tate Modern, the bridge near it is really cool to walk across. There is also a 5pm service of Evensong (chanting/choral) that’s really cool to hear, even if you’re not super-religious. The acoustics are awesome.
      Westminster Abbey/Buckingham Palace. I confess I’ve never been inside. Lines too long always. Really touristy. Go see Big Ben at night and it’s fun to walk along the South Bank of the river there in the evening (the North Bank doesn’t really have a walking path) (Tube is Westminster. The Westminster Jubilee (gray) line Tube stop is actually pretty cool in and of itself—very futuristic).
      City of London—the City (old part, now the Financial District (although a lot of the banks have moved to a newer part of town called Canary Wharf, which is not worth visiting)) is a really neat old part of London. You can see a lot of churches built by Sir Thomas Wren and wander a bit. It’s easy to get lost. You might want to check for an iphone app walking tour. Best Tube for this is Liverpool Street or Bank.
      Hyde Park/Kensington Gardens—this is just a nice stroll on a good-weather day. Head toward the Serpentine (it’s a freshwater lagoon, essentially) right in the middle. You can wander around. Another similar park for wandering (but outside of Central London) is Hampstead Heath…also cool. A lot of movies are filmed up there. Also in Central London, Battersea Park is really pretty as well for a wander.
      Tower Bridge/Tower of London—the Tower of London (Tube—15 mins from London Bridge, across the river or right at Tower Hill). It’s kinda cool to go to London Bridge Tube stop, walk across London Bridge and then walk to the Tower of London. The Crown Jewels are on display here (stop snickering Henry!). You can go on a ½ tour given by a Beefeater (swear, this is a very cushy and prestigious military post, and there are still a lot of (military) folks that live inside the tower complex). I would try to do this on a Friday and couple it with Borough market, below.
      London (Borough) Market (Tube: London Bridge, exit toward Borough High Street, not Tooley Street). This is on Friday and Sat mornings through lunchtime. A very cool market—you can grab breakfast and coffee or go for lunch—there’s good ethnic food and delish sandwiches. DO NOT MISS THIS!

      Portobello Market – Tube (Notting Hill Gate or Westbourne Park) –this is a fun, kinda random market that is usually on Sundays. It literally meanders up Portobello Road from Notting Hill Gate tube (ask anyone you see for directions when you come out of the Tube). The market changes as you walk, so it starts with antiques, moves to jewelry, food, clothing. Henry—if you are further up on Portobello Road, there are several really good, fun sneaker shops for cool retro shoes. A good pub in the area is The Westbourne—a bit hipster ridiculous (makes for good people watching), great Pims, good Sunday roast (it’s what’s known as a Gastropub—so good food). It’s very close to the Westbourne Park or Royal Oak tubes at 101 Westbourne Park Villas
      London W2 5ED.

      Wander!—good tube stops to wander from include (1) St. James’ Park (this is the Mall (pronounced “maaaal”) that runs from Buckingham Palace to Hyde Park and is the heart of all of the government stuff (2) King’s Road (this is Chelsea—really pretty architecture) (3) Angel (this is a neighborhood called Islington, and is a bit more hipster) (4) Belsize Park (really pretty neighborhoodly part of London, outside of Zone 1) (5) Knightsbridge (very posh and ridiculous, but fun to see!).

      Days Out (British for side trips!) –pick one or two
      Oxford or Cambridge—I recommend one or the other. When you are there, be sure to go on a college tour and also to try your hand at “punting” (going down the very bucolic rivers by pushing yourself against the bottom using a stick. It’s really fun—swear. Also check out a pub or two. Oxford trains leave from Victoria station, Cambridge from Liverpool St or King’s Cross.
      Eton/Windsor Castle – this is touristy and pretty. Windsor is cool. Eton is lovely. You take a mainline train to get there and then can walk or cab it to Windsor, which is really close.
      Hampton Court Palace—this is also a quick day trip on a Mainline (non-Tube) train. A little touristy as well, but gorgeous gardens and the castle’s a neat trip back in time.
      Stonehenge/Salisbury Cathedral—this is a slightly longer trip out of town. You can take busses directly to Stonehenge or a mainline train to Salisbury, tour the cathedral and an easy local bus to Stonehenge. Stonehenge is honestly a little underwhelming—you can’t get very close, and there’s so much modern trappings of tourist stuff that it doesn’t seem very mystical. Still cool, but not a must-see.
      This isn’t really outside of London proper, but Greenwich is a shipping/port city in the SE of London. There’s an amazing park, cute high street, a museum of antique fans (actually cool) and you can go to the Greenwich meridian (0 degrees on a longitudinal map). A lot of the 2012 Olympics stuff is out that way. Your Oyster card is not good this far—you’ll have to top up as it’s past Zone 1.


      So my favorite UK stores are Reiss (chain, there’s a few scattered about), L.K. Bennett (chain, all over—great shoes and preppy wear), Jigsaw (also a chain) and Whistles (also a chain). You can get most shopping in at Covent Garden. There’s also a good cheesemonger and a Neal’s Yard (awesome organic products). Tube is Covent Garden. You can also hit most of these in Notting Hill (near Portobello Road/Market) on Westbourne Grove
      Another “high street” (that’s UK slang for shopping district) is Regent Street between Oxford Circus and Picadilly. Lots of fancy stores, incl Burberry flagship. All along Oxford Street and just below it, Bond Street has a lot of shopping too (Tube: Oxford Circus/Bond St.). I also like shopping in Marlebone on Marylebone High Street (Tube Baker Street (note the little Sherlock Holmes tiles in the Tube here!).
      Department Stores—my favorites are Brown’s (24-27 South Molton St, Tube is Bond Street), Selfridges (400 Oxford St, Tube Bond Street ) and Liberty (famous for their “Liberty Print” shirts. It’s kinda cool to wander through. UK stuff is pretty pricy in general. But fun to see how attentive service is and how brands are separated by staff that cater only to that area.

      Other things to do—catch a show on the West End (Tube: Leicester Square). There is a TKTS booth for half-price tix there (right in the middle of the square—don’t be confused by all of the other ticket booths you see elsewhere). London theater is really good. Or I should say, “theatre.” Catch an opera or ballet at the Royal Opera House (pricy but cool—Tube is Covent Garden).

      Pick up a “TimeOut London” at a newsagent, they will have listings of all of the shows, gallery openings, etc. going on for the week. Good if you want to catch up on the arts scene. This is also online if you want to see if there are shows you want to catch in advance.

      Food—Stick to pub food that’s safe (bangers and mash, fish & chips, etc.), Indian, Thai, or French. It’s fun to go to Brick Lane (near the City, just look it up on your map) for a curry—there’s about 1MM awesome Indian places there. If you’re out and about, Pret a Manger has yummy sandwiches (beware the British propensity to slap copious amounts of mayo on any sandwich for no apparent reason). Also, there are a lot of Marks & Spencers where you can just grab a quick sandwich or salad. Even if the one you see is a clothing store, they often have a food market in the basement. Costa Coffee (chain) has the best coffee in the AM, but almost any neighborhood will have a decent bakery too.

    • The weather is quite rough at the moment thanks to Storm Angus, so I would look at the weather closer to the time but likely you will want boots, jeans and a coat/umbrella. If you are walking about outside/feel the cold easily gloves and scarf are useful. London is so large and diverse you will see people of all varieties of formality, especially during the day but even at night.

      Stop in Liberty of London, and I agree Selfridges is a good choice – good range of mid-priced to luxury brands. Depending when you come the Winter Festival may still be going on at Southbank, or the Chinese New Year celebrations. I personally love the Imperial War Museum and the Tate Modern, but the Science/Natural History/V&A are all classics. There’s also the film museum on Southbank if you are into that. If you get a nice crisp dry day, Hyde Park/the Serpentine/Princess Diana memorial is another good spot.

      You’ll find a pub on most streets – so no real recommendations for that!

    • Everyone has given you such great tips! Just wanted to add that Citymapper is great to help you get around via buses & tube — it’s much better than google maps.

    • LondonLeisureYear :

      If you give me your email and I can send you a list of recs! I have a bunch of good places to eat and things to do.

    • Gail the Goldfish :

      The National Rail 2-for-1 deals are amazing and include a good number of the major tourist sites–basically you buy a national rail pass (they have a 7-day unlimited pass that’s good on all london public transit, I believe) and you can get all sorts of 2-for-1 tickets. Google National Rail Days Out 2-for-1 and you should be able to find the details. We were only in London for 3 days and it still worked out to be cheaper to buy a 7-day railcard and get all the 2-for-1s.

  3. Perfect pick to ask this: I have these amazing lounge socks that I bought a decade ago at a Gap outlet and I want more of them but can’t figure out what to search for. They are this weird synthetic material – it looks like bath towel terry, but feels like a super soft fuzzy teddy bear if that makes sense? They’re medium thickness and it looks like a pretty loose weave. Anyone know what I’m searching for here?

    • I have that same pair of socks! I love them. Maybe search slipper socks and start from there?

    • Anonymous :

      I bought something similar at Bath and Body works a long time ago.
      Right now they only sell socks infused with stuff though.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      I bought socks I found on Amazon by searching “fuzzy socks” but don’t love them as much as I did my old pair that I received as a gift. I’d love to find the answer too.

    • Anonymous :

      Chenille socks?

      • It’s not properly chenille. It looks very similar, but is much softer. The only other time I have seen the material was literally on a teddy bear.

    • Anonymous :

      Sock Dreams allows you to narrow your sock search by criteria such as alpaca, angora, and fleece.

    • Sounds like bed socks. I get mine from Marks and Spencer’s.

    • Okay, I might have answered my own question. If you go to Gap Factory and search “cozy socks” they look like they might be the right ones. For 3 bucks a pop, it’s worth a shot! :)

    • Primark do similar socks to this too. I think they come infused with aloe vera but honestly I didn’t notice it and I think it washed out pretty quickly

    • MargaretO :

      I think I have the same things from target (I was just planning on picking up more! they are so comfy)|dlp|search_bought|dlp|17365583|2

    • Sidney Ellen :

      Try searching for Cabin Socks.

  4. I’m going to get either the OG or the OMG for work travel. Which one should I get, and how different are they in practical terms? I don’t normally carry a lot of stuff- I have the Brookline laptop bag, but that’s not quite big enough for a work travel carry on.

    • I carry the OG for travel. I like that I can fit more stuff in my under seat bag. The con is that it is a large under seat bag. I’ve never had an issue with it fitting, but it definitely doesn’t leave as much foot room as my older T.T. does (the T.T. is closer in size to the O.M.G., maybe a little smaller). But, I always reach for the O.G., not the T.T.

  5. Sydney Bristow :

    I need a hook to hang my loofah in the shower. I’ve been using a heavy duty suction one but it keeps falling off. We have large tiles on the wall.

    I’m not looking for something on an over the showerhead thing because we have a large built in shelf at the back of our shower that holds all our products.

    Any ideas? Am I missing some other obvious solution?

    • Can you hang it on the shower knob?

      • Sydney Bristow :

        We have one with the long handle so I figured it would slip off when we turn the shower on and change the temp. I’ll give it a try and see though. Thanks.

    • I have this little oxo shelf and I didn’t expect it to stay up with the suction cups but it does. Maybe worth a look?

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I’m pretty sure OXO is the brand of my current hook. It worked well at first but doesn’t anymore.

        • Try a different hook :

          Try another suction cup hook. The oxo hook is awful… it wouldn’t stick to my glass shower enclosure. I’ve had luck with a white plastic one with a red-rimmed push button and metal hook purchased in store from Lowe’s circa 2012. I’m not seeing it on their website or on AMZ though. Good luck!

    • Anonymous :

      Can you put some other kind of hook on the shelf with the products?

      • Sydney Bristow :

        The shelf is all made from the same tile, which goes all the way to the ceiling so I don’t know how I could connect anything.

    • I think 3M does Command hooks for bathrooms now, which might be perfect for this.

    • Anonymous :

      Move your current hook to a different tile.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I’ve been doing that for months and after it fell off 5 minutes after attaching it this last time I reached my limit on it. I’ve tried it with a little water, no water, tightened down a lot and a little, and switched tiles to be in or out of the stream of the shower. Is there some other trick to using suction cups?

    • Do you use a shower curtain? I hang mine up high from the back hook of my shower curtain hooks. (Not closed loops obviously)

    • anonypotamus :

      I haven’t looked to see if they make this as a standalone, but my handheld showerhead came with a locking suction cup that snaps down (hard to describe, but you moisten the back part of the cup and stick, and then snap down the cover) and its strong enough to hold the somewhat heavy showerhead up, so something like that should work for your loofah.

  6. I am 30 and have begun to notice lines forming on my forehead. I am very expressive and emote a lot when I speak, often with my eyebrows. I try to monitor that and not “use” my forehead as much, and I wear sunscreen every day, but is there anything else I can do to prevent (and dare I ask, to reverse) the damage? Is it time for preventative Botox (which I’d like to avoid but will do with some encouragement)?

    Time marches on, and eventually you realize it’s marching across your face. (Thanks, Dolly.)

    • Anonymous :

      I got Botox last week for the first time in my forehead and I love it. My forehead lines were starting to “stick” even after I relaxed my face, so I decided it was time to give it a shot.

      Went to a dermatologist, did a consultation, got 24 units injected into my forehead and eyebrow crease and it kicked in beautifully 24 hours later. I’m still getting used to not being able to speak as expressively, but my forehead wrinkles are gone!

    • Anonymous :

      Botox. Greatest thing ever. And the only thing that actually works for forehead wrinkles imho.

    • I get Botox for my “elevens” – the space in between my eyebrows. While not specifically targeting my forehead, it does creep up a little and give me some coverage there as well. I don’t find that I have any problems being expressive with my eyebrows when I target the elevens area. That might be a good place to start if you are interested in going that route!

      I love it and feel much less frowny and RBF because the creases are gone.

      • Anonymous :

        Oh! This too! I’m Anon at 3:34 but forgot to mention that Botox does wonders for “Resting B|tch Face”

    • Another one of us on the Botox bandwagon. I’ve been doing it since I was 29 and saw horizontal creases starting to form on my forehead. Many years later, no sign of those lines, nor any new ones.

    • OP - Forehead :

      Alright, sold. Any advice for a first time Botoxer? I know a reputable cosmetic surgeon that my mom has used for a lift procedure. She got great results. She is a doctor but is not a dermatologist– would it be better to go to a derm? Any other advice? Thank you all for helping me make this decision!

      • Anonymous :

        I would say definitely go to a doctor. Do it on a day that you won’t be running around/exercising for 24 hours. You can’t lie down for 4 hours after having it done- so factor that in. Otherwise, I’d say just go in with a sense of what areas you think could be improved and be open to your doctor’s suggestions.

        For example, I went in only wanting my forehead done, but my doctor showed me how my eyelids might droop a bit if we only did forehead and not eyebrows. And I’m very glad I did both!

      • Anon-in-House :

        I did it for the first time last week. It is honestly not that big of a deal at all. It didn’t hurt, it is puffy (small puffy spots right where the injections are) for about 30 minutes or less and then you’re good to go. So easy. I did my 11s since my doctor takes a very conservative approach. Forehead will take more units so you may want to start with 11s and progress from there b/c its a smaller area and you can start with fewer units. For reference, my doctor did 12 units for my 11s but I think some people may get up to like 20 units for their 11s.

    • Added question here…

      I have a crease between my brows, which is also where my migraines stem. Honestly some days the muscles hurt when I try to massage them. I have been thinking about botox as a migraine sufferer and wouldn’t mind the added benefit of softer creases. Who can prescribe botox for migraines? I think I have avoided that route (and instead chosen to suffer) because I was worried I would look “frozen faced” at a young age. Is the dosage for migraines that much different than it is for creases?

      • housecounsel :

        I am a huge fan of Botox. I started getting it at about age 35 and I think it’s done wonders to slow down aging. I started with my crows’ feet and only recently started using it in my forehead.

        I see a dermatologist for Botox injections, but for migraines, I think I’d check with a neurologist first. I do think the dosage is probably substantially higher and the places it is injected may differ as well.

        • Anonymous :

          Yes, but be very careful about having a neurologist inject. My Mom had Botox done by a neurologist for migraine and it as a cosmetic disaster. Droopy eyebrows, uneven slanted face. So, so awful. And it didn’t help her migraines.

          Only go to someone who has done them for many years, does tons of injections,more ideally….who can refer you to the dermatologist to inject according to his guidelines.

      • Go to a headache specialist – not every neurologist is trained in administering botox for migraines. If you’re in NYC, I highly recommend Dr. Denise Chou at Columbia Neurology. It’s been such a gift for me. Without botox, I would be in constant pain otherwise, although I do miss the ability to move my eyebrows.

  7. Care package :

    My cousin’s fiancé broke up with her last weekend she’s pretty broken up. They were together for 2.5 years, engaged for 6 months, about to sign a lease for a new apartment, and planning on getting married on their 3 year anniversary in May. I have been in contact with her but I’m in NYC and she lives with the rest of my family back in California and I’m not going home for a visit until Christmas and New Years. I’d like to send her a care package or something to let her know I love her and am thinking about her but I don’t have any idea what I should put in it. Any recs or suggestions would be appreciated.

    (Also just a vent because my cousin has enough on her plate right now…her jerk fiancée broke up with her because she told him about how she had been on a sugar baby/daddy site when she was in college and after she graduated and how she put that money towards her schooling and bills. She told him because he was surprised that she never had student debt when they were sitting down to combine finances. He got upset and called her a common wh*re and said she was no better, and some other stuff I won’t repeat here.

    They hadn’t actually combined finances yet, they don’t own anything jointly, they hadn’t signed the lease for the new apartment and they have already returned each others keys and stuff, so she can make a clean break and have no reason to see him while she moves on from this so that’s a silver lining, but I hate the double standard and sl*t shaming that women face. I thought her fiancé was above that, he never came across as a jerk. My cousin told me he changed his phone number and blocked her email and he refuses to talk to her while making veiled references to others about needing an STD test. My cousin never cheated on him, she left the site when they met and she had an STD test before they were ever intimate but he is still carrying on like a rat. I tried to keep it clean so I didn’t get caught in the filter. I just needed to vent and get that out)

    • What about a subscription to birch box? Also vent away- but for what it’s worth if I found out my fiancé of 3 years had been having sex for money when we met and he had never mentioned that before I would be just as upset- I don’t actually think this is a gendered thing.

      • I think calling her a wh0re and the way he’s acting is. Being upset, not necessarily.

        • So I agree that name calling helps no one. But wasn’t she literally (like Webster definition) a w*re? sure in an ideal world he’d calmly tell her that he understands it was before him, but he feels like this was a fundamental betrayal by not telling him, wish her well and they’d each be on their way. But I can’t imagine if I was talking to my fiancé and he just casually dropped in that he had done sex work. I get that it is very upsetting to go through a breakup like that but I guess I just don’t think he is a jerk for being somewhat petty/immature ( same way I wouldn’t blame op cousin for telling people he is a jerk- it’s an emotional situation)

      • I met older men in their 30’s working on Capitol Hill in DC that wanted to date me and some of my cute college freinds at GW for money. I said FOOEY! We did NOT do anything like that b/c we CLEARLEY knew that they JUST wanted to have s-x with us, and did NOT value us at all for our mind’s or college educations. Personaly I would NEVER do anything like this b/c dad covered all of my bills, but I know that some peeople had tight budget’s and may have had s-x with these men.

        NONETHELESS, I do NOT think I would judge or condemn the women w/o FIRST knowing either 1) their actual situation with the men — they might not have been as smart as I was; or 2) whether they had financieal difficulties and accepted money AFTER haveing s-x, but NOT knowing that S-x would get them the money ahead of time.

    • Woah, not sure that’s a double standard unless he was on one too. That would be VERY upsetting to me if I found that out about my husband.

      • Um, I’m inclined to agree with Anony. I’m not super familiar with those types of sites, but if he broke up with her because she was essentially working as a hooker, then I will freely admit that I would have done the same thing in his shoes. Shaming a woman for “promiscuous” (air quotes) behavior that is vaguely and subjectively defined and where different genders are held to different standards is different from being upset that your fiancé/fiancée was a s*x worker. The truth is that not everyone is going to be okay with dating/marrying a former s*x worker.

    • Anonymous :

      It’ll be interesting to see how people respond to this… on the one hand, I think people should be able to make decisions about their own bodies, including the right to have s3x for money, and on the other hand, how painful to find this out about someone you’ve known intimately for 2.5 years and plan to marry!

      • Anonymous :

        I used to joke about how it was just better to meet people at the Red Cross — I think that this is on their donor checklist (ever had s-x for money or have been with someone who has). I’m not sure the sugar daddy sites have such an explicit quid pro quo, but close, no?

        And if this is how you get no student loans (where they’d otherwise be expected), this doesn’t strike me as de minimis.

        I feel bad for your cousin, but I can’t imagine that I’d react differently (maybe if it were disclosed way earlier and it was very distant, but not this far down the road).

    • Anonymous :

      I am the outlier on this, thus far, but so long as my partner is clean, I feel as though it is not my business who they slept with and why prior to being involved with me. As someone who has been called a wh*re by a partner because of past $exual activity, I have a hunch that one of the main reasons the OP is so upset is the name calling and labeling. You may not like what I did in the past, and it may not be your cup of tea, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to call me a wh*re/$lut, etc.

      IMO, my name calling former partner had no business knowing what I had been up to prior to him. The clean STD test should have been sufficient. There were reasons I felt that I had to tell him during the relationship and, trust me, it will never happen again.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I tend to agree. It’s a shocking thing to learn, but I don’t think it fundamentally changes who she is. I understand him breaking up with her but the name calling and inability to accept the std test are going too far.

      • Anononope :

        I totally agree. I think there *is* a double standard whereby a woman is somehow currently ‘contaminated’ or whatever by her past s*xual contact — I don’t see that being applied to men. If it was consenting adults blah blah why do you get to pass judgment on what I did with my body before I had ever met you?

    • Care package :

      My apologies for the confusion. My vent was about the name calling he did when he broke up with her and the veiled statements he has been making. I’m not saying he shouldn’t be upset. Personally I would have been upfront at the state of the relationship had it been me. I’m upset about all the insults and name calling he did. That’s what my vent was about.

      • That’s fair. It’s okay to be upset, not want to continue in the relationship, feel it should have come up earlier, and end things. Name calling helps no one.

      • Brunette Elle Woods :

        I can understand him being upset, but his reaction is abhorrent. Ultimately she dodged a bullet. He will probably come back in a month with his tail between his legs begging her to take him back.

    • His reaction says a lot about his character. Look I get that it would be upsetting to learn something like that about someone you’re planning to marry in 6 months. But to call her names and then shame her to mutual friends, particularly in a way that implies that she was still doing it during the relationship, it totally over the top. He loses any sympathy I might’ve had for him.

      • Anonymous :

        does it seem like he just wanted an out? and this provided one that other people would understand?

        i only say that because of the cell phone number changing and total cut-off.

      • Anonymous :

        Upon learning something like that for the first time, I’d probably react strongly. I might also be speechless. I might blab a lot. Shaming a random person is one thing, but reacting with strong emotion to something that is strongly emotional is the sort of thing that people do. I’m not sure it’s a character issue (different if he is still going on about this in 5 years or devoting a website to it).

        • Suddenly ending a relationship that is that serious (for just about any reason) strikes me as one of those things that a lot of people are going to handle badly and let their emotions get away from them, without it necessarily being an indication of their overall character.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      If she doesn’t already have a subscription, how about paying for a few months of Netflix and a list of comforting shows to binge watch? Gift card for nearby takeout? You could send her some physical items too like nail polish and chocolates. If I were her, I’d likely want to spend quite awhile wallowing in it so anything that fit in with that plan would be sweet.

      • Even if she does have a subscription, you can cover a few months of it with a gift card. Don’t remember exactly how it works, but I’ve done it before.

    • – Massage and/or spa day gift certificate
      – engrossing fiction recommendations
      – gift voucher for a local boxing gym
      – supplies for a hobby she’s always wanted to try

      Possibly not in that order.

    • Anonymous :

      I went through an unexpected break up and a friend sent me a giant gift basket from Bath and Body Works or similar. I really appreciated everyone else who told me they were there for me, etc. but the problem is when you are in the depths of despair, it is hard to remember what people say. Having a physical reminder really, really helped. So I think anything would be great, even it seems trite or generic, and even if it is just a hand-written card saying that you are thinking about her.

    • TorontoNewbie :

      Flowers? Wine? Boxing? Chocolate?
      Depending on what your finances are like – how about a ticket to come visit you for a weekend?

  8. vacation recommendation - Mexico :

    We are looking for a quick trip away in March, and looking at Mexico. Would it be impossible to avoid Spring Breakers? Any thoughts/experience on Los Cabos vs. Puerto Vallarta? I am looking at the Costco travel packages because I want this to be low stress.

    • Anonymous :

      I went to Puerto Vallarta over spring break and it was nuts (I was not there as a student). Not sure about Los Cabos.

    • Look at adult only resorts. Some of them limit young people.

    • Pueblo Bonito Pacifica, Los Cabos. There is nothing redeeming about the town of Cabo San Lucas (like most cruise port towns), but this resort is a gem and well outside of town, like many of the uber luxury resorts down there. Adult only, all inclusive – awesomeee!

      • Also, I was there at the end of March/early April. No issues with Spring Breakers at Pacifica. Pueblo Bonito has other resorts in the area that are not adult-only (closer to downtown Cabo San Lucas), and those were over run with SB’ers.

    • Excellence playa mujera!

  9. Playa del Carmen :

    Piggybacking off the above question on travel to Mexico, any recommendations specific to Playa del Carmen? Places to eat/drink and hang out, including day trips, would be much appreciated. We are going in January in order to get a break from winter and blissfully miss a large event taking place in our home town.

    • ALX emily :

      I don’t have any really memorable recommendations (other than getting a drink at La Santanera for no other reason than to see the neon Jesus) – we were visiting my sister who lived there for a brief time, so just went where she took us – but I super loved the town! There are lots of options for day trips I think but Tulum is probably the easiest and among the most interesting.

    • Hehe. Are you perhaps going to be gone over January 20?

  10. housecounsel :

    Can we talk about office holiday parties that include spouses? Does anyone really enjoy these? Can anyone recommend a way to get out of my husband’s without feigning a serious injury?


    Kind of.

    • Moonstone :

      Are you the spouse? I have to do a ton of these. For a while I dreaded them, but now I spend the time switching back and forth between pretending I am a character from Downton Abbey. First I am interested-in-your-life Lady Sybil, then if you annoy me I become the Dowager, then maybe I back off and become Mrs. Patmore. You gotta amuse yourself.

    • Marshmallow :

      Ha! I am super extroverted and genuinely enjoy these types of things, so yes, I look forward to them. I’m also that odd duck who likes networking cocktail parties with lots of people I don’t know.

      But my husband is NOT that way and I wouldn’t ever make him come to my work parties if he didn’t want to. Can you just tell your husband you don’t want to go? It’s unlikely that anybody at work would bother him about why you’re not there, but if he’s asked, he can simply say you couldn’t attend or had another commitment.

    • Triangle Pose :

      I totally enjoy these! Both as the SO and the employee.

      In my BigLaw market none of the holiday parties the included SOs or kids, instead they invited alums and clients so it was super network-y. I think I’m the opposite of you because I was super offended that SOs were not invited – the message seemed to be “oh, you know this job that keeps me away from you (and our kids/pets whatever) all those nights and weekends? Well, they are throwing a ‘fun’ holiday party but don’t worry, families and SOs are not invited.”

    • Brunette Elle Woods :

      He probably hates them too and would prefer it if you went with him to make it less boring, like an obligatory wedding.

    • What I like: opportunity to wear a sparkly outfit, opportunity to drink wine i didn’t pay for, opportunity to meet family of coworkers, spouse is there to fall back on if/when things are awful, raffles.

      What I don’t like: worrying (and telling myself I shouldn’t be worrying) about my spouse’s mood/boredom levels.

    • lawsuited :

      I enjoy my own office holiday party, and it’s important that my husband come to that to give the impression that he cares about my work. I don’t enjoy my husband’s holiday party as much because I don’t know many people (and he works at a much bigger company than I do), but I assume it’s similarly important that I go to that to show support for his work, so I’m happy to go and be introduced to people for the third time and make small talk and eat shrimp cocktail.

  11. Not asking this one in person... :

    Um, can someone please explain to me a thing I should know and don’t? I know I should know it. But I don’t and it’s something I would really like to understand so I don’t look dumb when I’m talking to important firm people in the course of my job?
    What work do firms with clients who also have in-house counsel do? Like, if Firm A has Big Company A as a client and Big Company also has in-house counsel, what does the firm do?
    I am a (pretty new) lawyer. I am not at a firm or in-house. Obviously. I never had reason to figure this out in law school. :|

    • Anonymous :

      Big Company A likely has more legal work than it has in-house. So often companies use law firms (outside counsel) to handle overflow work. They also use outside counsel as practice area experts. Depending on the size of the company, their lawyers might be generalists, so when they need specific legal advice on employment, antitrust, tax, bankruptcy, or any other niche area of law, they turn to outside counsel specialists. Big companies also use outside counsel when they have large, time-sensitive projects that require a lot of man hours. They use outside counsel when they have “bet the company” deals and want the “insurance policy” of working with and relying on outside counsel. They also use outside counsel for litigation (using their in-house people to manage the outside counsel, rather than the in-house counsel trying cases themselves).

    • IME, the firm handles special projects or matters that require specific expertise-big acquisitions, government investigations, certain types of litigation, specialized regulatory advice, etc.

    • I’m in litigation so ymmv. I interface with in-house counsel on all things litigation-related instead of bothering the business people who generally have better things to do with their time. In-house counsel will provide comments and feedback to my drafts but they’re generally pretty hands off once they figure out I’m competent. I’ll also help them communicate with the business people – they might include me on a call for something complicated, or I might just send them a blurb that they can send to their boss. In-house counsel are also typically very involved in discovery – they make sure my hold letter gets to the right people, they collect information about where ESI is stored, they’re familiar with the company’s document retention policies so they know who to contact to make sure nothing gets deleted, etc.

    • Triangle Pose :

      Our outside firms do the specialized pieces of certain work – for example I’m in house and we just worked with our business units to draft a customer facing agreement and terms and conditions. We wanted to make two changes but thought one of the changes could have consumer protection implications so we had outside counsel who specialized in consumer protection review the agreement with a consumer protection focus.

      Similarly, we have in house lawyers who manage our M&A work, they strategize with our executives what companies to target and work on the business deal points, but outside counsel drafts the merger documents or equity purchase documents.

      On the litigation front, our in-house litigation folks are the ones who respond to default letters and review initial complaints and will work on settlements, but when issues escalate where we think we might go to trial, we hire outside counsel to actually litigate the case, and our people manage them and also sit in and guide the strategy.

    • Not asking this one in person... :

      Thank you, all!!

    • Triangle Pose :

      Also, I should say that your comment indicated to me that you think many or a majority of firm clients don’t have any in-house counsel and rely on outside firms only. I think that is pretty rare. Most every firm client is an in-house lawyer – that is who the clients are. It’s rare that there is no one in house who manages the outside firms. When I was in Big Law, every since client of mine was an in-house lawyer. I almost never worked directly with the executives or C-suites of the company. Now that I am in-house I work with them and they are my clients, but at the firm it was always in-house lawyers.

      • Triangle Pose :

        Typo – every since = every single***

      • I think that this is company size specific and industry specific. I’d expect established legal departments at Fortune 500 companies and in certain industries like banking. But I’ve worked with a lot of biglaw and midlaw clients in the healthcare industry that don’t have in-house counsel.

      • Anonymous :

        I think it can be practice area specific. A lot of firm securities attorneys will work directly with accounting personnel – public accounting is so SEC-driven that the two groups speak the same language. I think the same is sometimes true with company tax directors and firm tax attorneys, and HR benefits specialists and ERISA counsel.

    • I am part of a two-person in-house legal department. Speaking very generally, here’s what I would say we keep inside vs. sending out.

      In: contract formation and contract disputes, simple employment stuff, simple real estate, basic tax, all levels of regulatory compliance in our field, administrative legal stuff like forming LLCs, responses to non-party subpoenas, non-litigation IP issues (registration of IP, takedowns, etc), and generally making sure that people in various roles know how to keep themselves and their departments on the right side of relevant laws.

      Out: litigation (usually once suit has been filed or it’s clear it will be), touchier employment issues, foreign real estate, complicated tax questions, etc.

      The way I think about it is that I am a generalist who can do a decent job in a lot of areas of law (hence all the “in” when things are simple) and that I am an expert on our company the way outside counsel never could be, so I need to work closely with outside counsel to make sure they understand what we need.

  12. Someone else with experience on both sides can probably answer this better than I can, but I do have litigation clients with in-house counsel. In my experience, in-house counsel handles many issues that arise outside of litigation, like contract review or regulatory compliance. I have also seen them act as sort of a first line with employee disputes, HR issues, or wrongful termination claims. We are brought in as outside litigation counsel when issues escalate and suit against the company appears highly likely, or sometimes even if they just want a second opinion on an issue.

  13. Sloan Sabbith :

    Bought my first ThirdLove bra today. My current bras just aren’t doing it for me- hopeful about this one. I’m a bit hesitant that the size they said I am is correct (thinking a half size smaller might have been correct) but I like their return policy, so I’ll try it.

    • Anonymous :

      Report back please!

    • Anonymous :

      They said my current size is correct too even though I checked a few problem boxes on their survey. I got my bra and it actually fits! It still isn’t absolutely perfect–my straps fall off my shoulder twice per day instead of once per hour–but I’m satisfied enough to end my bra search.

    • Highly, highly recommend following the process on r/abrathatfits. I thought I was sized appropriately in a 32C but I am actually a 32DDD. I didn’t realize until I had new bras in the appropriate size that there would be no lumps/bulges/falling-down straps.

  14. stupid mistakes :

    I posted on Friday about leaving my laptop at airport security and not realizing until I was already on the plane – thanks to all who chimed in with their own stupid mistakes to make me feel less alone – I was really furious at myself and hearing from those of you who’ve done similar things reminded me to be kinder to myself. So thanks!

    Also, they found my laptop, and I picked it up this morning! It wasn’t until Sunday morning that they told me, though, and I’d given up hope by that point. So just FYI, double-check the bins, but if you leave something behind in the upcoming holiday travel season, know that TSA can be slow to notify you if it’s located!

    • What a relief! I’m glad you got it back!

    • On a 5 am flight my wallet had fallen out of my bag in the xray machine. i had my ID and my debit card in my phone (the case has a wallet back). I barely made the flight – like last one on, everyone glaring. I get in my seat and try to fall asleep, all of a sudden there is a guy tapping me on the shoulder asking if I want to get off the flight to go to security. he couldn’t tell me why, so i checked my phone, saw my stuff and figured they must have the wrong person, I had all my stuff… didn’t realize I didn’t have my wallet until we landed in Chicago… oops! they mailed it to me a week later. it dawned on me later that they wouldn’t have known my name/flight unless they had something with my name on it…

  15. We’ve talked about ways we can help others. Read this and thought I’d share:
    Some of the items are only a few bucks.

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