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Thursday’s TPS Report: Polka-Dot Jersey Blazer

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Isaac Mizrahi Polka-Dot Jersey Blazer Hooray for polka dots! I love a good jersey blazer, and this black and white polka dot one just seems so fun to me. It's on a pretty decent sale at Last Call, too — it was $119, then $85, now marked to $51 (sale ends 6/21/13). Isaac Mizrahi Polka-Dot Jersey Blazer Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2) Psst: The 6PM sale summer sole-stice sale is kind of insane.  I just bought 4 pairs of shoes, all marked 70+% off … lots of great deals on Stuart Weitzman, Cole Haan, Taryn Rose, and more. Happy shopping, ladies!

Sales of note for 12.2.24 (Happy Cyber Monday!! See our full sale listing here!)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

217 Comments

  1. It’s probably one of those patterns that look better in real life than on screen. For some reason I think that polka-dots are more for dresses, skirts or tops than jackets. I don’t know why, though, which is annoying me.

    1. I like this! I have also seen a white with large dots cardigan on someone recently that I really liked.

      My only hesitation is that my non-shell shirts are often patterned, so I have tended to get just solid jackets (all black except for a brown tweed Theory one for fall –ack!), so maybe it’s time to take a baby step out of my comfort zone.

    2. I one from Talbots that is similar and I loooove it. However, I rarely wear it because I’m not sure how to style it. Any suggestions? I don’t think I can wear it with my black pants/shirts/sheath dress, for the same dreaded black-on-black problem that I’d have wearing black pieces from different suits. It looks odd with my gray Skirt. It’s not quite a neutral, so I feel stuck with this great piece that should be perfect for work yet isn’t!

      2. I think the question is more what *can’t* you wear it with! I have a similar one that I wear over a cobalt blue dress, with a red skirt, everything. It would also look great with yellow, kelly green, bright pink. I see it as totally a neutral. I even wear it with black sometimes because I think it’s going to be different enough that it doesn’t look like I attempted but failed to match.

  2. I posted last night but reposting on a new thread…

    Without giving away too much detail, I currently work in a Fortune 500 manufacturing company in an operations role. I have an opportunity to transition into a compliance role but I am wondering if this might be a more limited career path for me in the long term and not a wise move. I do not have a JD or any advanced degree and my degree is not related to the product we manufacture. I don’t anticipate ever earning a degree in their field either but I would be interested in earning a JD if I thought it could give me more opportunities in the compliance field long term. Hoping someone could share some insight on this opportunity. If I take this position and decided to never earn any advanced degree, am I limiting myself?

    1. It looks like you have a good job and a (hopefully) stable company. These days, new JDs are likely to be facing substantial under / unemployment with a ton of debt. I don’t see JDs as having a lock on good compliance jobs and can’t see a JD as being useful in any field beyond law (so maybe an MBA could be more helpful).

      Is your employer open to sponsoring advanced degrees (compliance or non)? If you’ve got a good local school, maybe it’s worth auditing an evening class to see if you even like it, but I wouldn’t give up a good job these days unless your employer is sponsoring your degree and I’d go at night only if it didn’t harm my day job.

      If you’re in a highly regulated industry, compliance may get a lot of respect, but often it seems that people treat them worse than in-house legal as people who get in the way of deals getting done (not true for everyone and I love some of my compliance contacts) (speaking from finance-related industries — oil & gas / chemicals / healthcare may be different).

      1. I completely agree with all of this. Compliance is definitely booming, though of course the demand varies by industry. Instead of a specific degree, a compliance professional designation is probably your best bet. I’ll ask my mom (compliance professional from MBA/CFA/investment banking background) which path she thinks is best.

    2. My observation is that it’s an area you find JD’s but that degree is by no means a requirement or necessary for it. You also see a lot of ex-big 6 (4? 5?) accounting auditors and people who learned on the job. I wouldn’t pursue an advanced degree to stay in the area.

    3. Do you want to be in compliance? Operations, especially in mfg, is where people cut their teeth and get experience for higher level management positions.
      One way the glass ceiling effect happens is when women veer off from high-visibility posts in areas like ops for less prominent departments.
      This may not be the case here and if you’re interested in the compliance work itself, knock yourself out. I’ve seen too many women directed towards side paths “because they have such great admin skills as well as technical!” only to see men who stayed in ops get promoted over them because, “hey we need a leader with an ops background!”

      1. +1. Compliance also does not win you friends in an organization – it’s a necessary evil – so I don’t think you end up with the same kinds of internal champions you’d get elsewhere.

      2. Thanks for this. I have been in my position for a few years and I guess I don’t really have any idea what I can do with my experience or what a career in operations looks like and what type of experiences I would need to get there.

        1. Kate, operations careers are generally highly regarded down the road if you want to be in senior management (COO, VP Ops, CSO). The goal of operations in a manufacturing company is to Plan, Source, Make, Deliver. There are multiple career paths in ops – manufacturing, procurement, supply chain/logistic, HSE, inventory managment… and the skills are easily transferable across industries (for ex: going from Flextronics to Gap). Compliance may make you feel boxed in and is less transferable across industries (much harder to go from manufacturing compliance to banking compliance).

          Here is a pretty good overview on Operations careers: https://www.wetfeet.com/articles/career-overview-operations

    4. My personal experience, which is limitied to the financial industry, is that 1.) Compliance is never going away so there’s a lot of job security in the field, and (at least at my firm) there’s quite a bit of room for upward movement in the Compliance departemtnt. And 2.) A JD is not really necessary to be considered for this type of movement. In fact, the only people at my firm (mid-sized, regional) who have a JD are the in-house legal team.

      I personally think on-the-job Compliance experience provides a great amount of opportunity for upward movement not only in that specific area, but across managment roles and even in other fields. But be prepared that you won’t be everyone’s best friend…. I’ve assisted our manager with several in-office compliance audits and various projects, and you have to have a little bit of thick skin.

  3. I have been asked to leave my job. If I am not gone by a certain date, they will get rid of me anyways. Even before I was asked to move on, I had been looking for a new position. In my current position I am treated very badly by the boss and have been starved of any meaningful work for quite a while. At the moment, I have a very promising job lead. In my situation, would you still give two weeks notice of your resignation after receiving a job offer? I do not have anything to wrap-up because of a lack of new assignments, and honestly I think I will be asked to leave immediately anyways. It is not like me at all to just up and leave but I think it might be for the best. However, I can’t help but feel guilty about it even though I hate hate hate this job. What would you do?

    1. If you expect that when you give your notice, you will be asked to leave immediately, I would go into the meeting on (say) a Thursday, offer to stay til Friday to wrap everything up, and start my new job on Monday. It sounds like you won’t want to use these people as a reference anyway, and it sounds like there won’t be much to transition work wise.

    2. Based upon your comments, it sounds like your current company would not require you to give 2 weeks notice. If the job comes through (fingers crossed!) I would just simply tell my boss that I have received another job offer, my first day is X and therefore my last day at company is Y (or, today will be my last day with company). As long as you are prepared to leave on the day that you give notice, I think you will be fine.

      1. +1

        I imagine they’ll just say here is your paperwork and today is your last day, once you give notice. You don’t need to feel guilty, they don’t.

      2. I agree. They sound suckey to me. I would go whenever I got a new position and forget giveing 2 week’s notice. I think the job market is terible b/c alot of my freind’s are out of work.

        Myrna is finaly better from her sore throat, and she is saying that she got it from eateing some food in her cafeteria. She says the guy on the serveing line is miffed b/c she would not go out with him. I do NOT blame her. FOOEY on him. She thinks she should sue him but I said she need’s PROOF. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    3. Agree with Bewitched.

      As a side note, there is no such word as “anyways” – the word is “anyway”. Just one of my pet peeves!

      1. My pet peeve is when people don’t give people a grammaer break on an internet message board. Sometimes people are multi-tasking or they are on a phone and get auto-corrected.

          2. Whoa, I did not know that period and commas go outside quotation marks elsewhere than America!

    4. I get that the communication is probably strained, but could you ask whether they expect you to give notice?

    5. It’s always a good idea to leave on good terms. Give 2 weeks notice and if they don’t need you, they will release you early.

    6. I would give two weeks notice on the grounds that your current empoloyer may well pay you for it but let you go earlier. I am a big supporter of taking time off between jobs, even if it’s only a week, to clear your head and detox before immersion. I would say reputable new employers would respect the need for a professional notice period. and if you’re as wound down as you say, likely the current will release you earlier.

  5. Would anyone here have any interest in an in-house opportunity for a patent atty located in the Upper Midwest?

    2. patent prosecution, 7-10 yrs ex, degree in chemisty/chemical engineering or related field

  6. Thank you all so much for the wonderful advice regarding wanting to put together a 40th Birthday book for my hubby. I am planning to send around an email to friends/family today, and will incorporate all of your ideas. Thanks again!

  7. TJ: I’ve been toying with the idea of relocating to DC. I am single, mid-twenties, and would want to live alone. My question is, how much would I need to earn to live comfortably (nothing extravagant) in the city? Yesterday’s car discussion was very helpful (I’m leaning toward no car, at least at first), but I’m curious as to what the cost of living really is and how much someone who’s not splitting bills would need to make.

    1. I’m mid-twenties and make a little under $60,000 a year (not law). I definitely could not afford to live in a one-bedroom at this pay. I pay $850 for my half of a two-bedroom with utilities included in Arlington, which is one of the most popular DC suburbs. Among my friends, I have the best deal by far on rent, but my place is very run-down. I think the low-end for a one-bedroom is $1300-$1500.

    2. A lot of this really has to do with where you are willing to live, how much of your paycheck you are really comfortable with going to rent. I share a large two bedroom in a door man building for 2750 total, 1325 per person plus about 50 per person a month in utilities (and I do not have cable). My apartment is large, but it is not updated (no dishwasher, no garbage disposal, bathroom and kitchen basically from the 70s). I live in a young area of NW that is fairly desirable, but not particularly close to the metro.

      If you want to live in Adams Morgan, Dupont, Logan Circle, U St, or Woodley Park I think you will be hard pressed to find an average studio/one bedroom for less than 1200 (and honestly I would think that is a bit of a steal for a studio/one bedroom). If you are willing to move farther north on the Red Line (Van Ness, Cathedral area, Friendship Heights, American University area..) or live in Capital Hill,Eastern Market, Navy Yard, Shaw, or move into Columbia Heights/Petworth you may be able to find something closer to 1000. I personally would not be comfortable as a female living alone in Shaw, Navy Yard, Columbia Heights, or Petworth, but that depends on you.

      About 1/4 (or a little more) of my take home pay goes to rent, and I find that comfortable in DC. I still have plenty to save and go out to eat constantly. But I know lots of people who live in DC on a lot less than I do, so again this has to do with your spending habits and savings goals.

    3. Hmm.. tough question because it’ll vary a lot depending on your personal living style. How much do you eat out? Expensive restaurants or not? Are you OK taking metro or are you going to cab?

      Rent is going to be the most expensive part of your equation. If you want to live alone in a nicer neighborhood, you’re looking at paying probably $1600? a month, more for newer/nicer buildings, and for more square footage. Looking at studios vs one bedrooms would help a lot in that regard.

      I have many friends who make under $45,000 and are happy in D.C. They’re VERY careful with their money, and most of them live with one other person.

      There are a lot of free and inexpensive things to do in D.C. Again, though, it really comes down to what you enjoy doing.

      1. Also: Do it! DC is a lot of fun as a 20something. It’s a pretty transient city, and I’ve found it’s an easy place to make friends because so many people are always moving here.

    4. Well, rent is OUTRAGEOUS. Like, OUTRAGEOUS. Think, 1 bedroom in a shared house with four roommates clocking in at $1000 a month. I live in Arlington. DC itself is just too expensive for this Chicagoan.

      1. Ha, funny you say that, I feel the same way. I think back to my Gold Coast apartment with a view of the lake…the rent I paid for it wouldn’t even buy me a 400 sq ft studio in the better neighborhoods here!

      2. I’ll never understand why Chicagoans have the good fortune to have such affordable apartments. When I was looking at law school there, I was shocked (pleasantly) by how little rent cost, compared with other major American cities.

          2. Amen – and I say this as a happy Chicagoan. The range for the average high in Chicago is 54 F (30 F in January, 84 F in July). The range for the average high in London 27 F, a factor of two smaller.

      3. Anyone who thinks DC rents are sky-high should spend an hour browsing Craigslist rental listings for San Francisco (or Manhattan). You’ll feel better very soon!

    5. I can’t give you a hard number for cost of living, but if you are looking to live alone in a decent neighborhood in DC proper, a studio apt will run you min $1200. Looking at min $1900 for a one bedroom (again, in a decent neighborhood near public transit). The further you go outside of DC the cheaper it will be for housing, but bear in mind that the metro has tiered pricing (i.e., you will pay a lot more to come in from Silver Spring than from Woodley Park).

      An average take-out lunch runs $8-$10. “Mid-range” restaurant entrees are $14-$18. Produce costs a lot more here than it did where I re-located from (Chicago), but other items are about the same.

      Let me know if there’s anything in particular you want to know the cost of!

      1. Second you on the produce– so expensive! No cheaper in the suburbs. That said, my spouse and I rented a totally fine one bedroom on 16th St at the south end of MT pleasant for about $1500 until a few months ago. Just a few blocks to the. metro, just a few blocks to Adams Morgan.couldn’t have done it on my own though on my salary (mid to upper 5 figures over time)

    6. I would say $50,000 minimum. Bet on up to $2000 a month in rent, depending on where you live and the size of the unit, and whether you have a roommate. Calculate your other living expenses from there – saving, food, entertainment, etc. I moved to DC in 2009. Several co-workers and I started at my company around the same time and all made around $50k. Three of us were single women and we all made it on that income.

    7. Zero of my friends in their 20s lived alone in DC/Arlington/Bethesda and most shared with 2+ other people. The group-home thing is popular and I’d recommend it as a newcomer. Someone you know knows someone who has a spot open in their house. This will give you some built-in people when you are new (and encourage you to explore your city). FWIW, I knew people who are now married to a friend of a group-home roommate.

      When I moved to Courthouse, I was in biglaw and was the only person I knew living along (almost 30, minimal loans). I was in a high-rise with paper-thin walls surrounded by people who partied all night, so I would have preferred roommates because they would have been a lot more considerate. Nothing like wasted people running around at 2am on their way from the elevator to their apartment.

    8. Honestly, I’d say $60k as a bare minimum floor. If you want a studio that is decent sized and in a fun metro accessible neighborhood I’d say you’ll pay at least $1300. Hell, I paid that in Arlington and wasn’t even in DC. It’s possible to save elsewhere, but if you have student loans/other debt, you will need to significantly increase that number. Plus, depending on the type of job you have (political for example), you’ll want to really save up in case your boss loses an election.

    9. Following this thread on living in DC. Been considering a similar move if I get a job in that area. But I’m in my early thirties. The suggestion on getting a roommate to save on cost sounds good but it seems like most people doing this are in their twenties? But Courthouse Alumna says some party,are noisy and not as considerate. I still enjoy going out from time to time but wouldn’t want to deal with noisy roommates. Also if one wants to keep their car(for weekends) and maybe use the metro during the week, which areas to avoid or maybe live in?

      1. I moved to the DC area when I was 32 and rented in Fairfax County. It’s easy to get into the city using Metro

      2. Maybe I mistyped: I have found roomates to be either basic or great. Highrises can be full of strangers on way different schedules than you, especially if they are partiers and you have a job to go to in the morning. The house-share was good as a way to avoid cardboard walls b/w you and noisy strangers (so you paid for privacy and just got the illusion of it) and get lower costs and sharing a more solid space with a smaller number of considerate people.

        DC is great and is filled with students (google the WP article on GW students in $3,000 apartments). It only took a very few bad apples (and paying 2K/month in rent and not being able to sleep on a routine basis) to get me into a 1950s brink house with no DW shared with some very nice hill staffers that was ~1 mile to the metro.

      3. Old Town/Del Ray Alexandria have somewhat cheaper rent (at least compared to DC/Arlington), pretty easy parking and easy Metro access depending on location – about 20ish minutes on the Metro into downtown DC. Fair number of restaurants but not much in the way of bars/clubs.

      4. Try blue/yellow lines of Arlington instead of orange line (metro reference– there are three main lines that run from NoVA to DC; orange line from the west and blue and yellow from the south). Pentagon City, Crystal City, Old Town are a slightly older crowd (think late 20s-30s and up versus mid to late 20s) and there are lots of (relatively) affordable buildings. Pentagon & Crystal City aren’t as exciting– fewer restaurants and bars within walking distance than downtown– but rents are more manageable and commutes are easy. Definitely not as much of a party atmosphere.

        1. We are on the Orange Line in Ballston. I wouldn’t look at the high rises for the reasons listed above, but you may find townhouse shares nearby that are reasonable and don’t have the noise levels of the big apt. complexes.

      5. I always stuck to the Virginia side of the river because I needed a car to get to work. Almost every apartment building near the orange line in Arlington has an underground parking garage. It is an expensive addition to the monthly rent, but you never have to worry about finding a spot if you’re willing to drive to the bottom of it (very few buildings seem to do reserved spots anymore).

    10. Thanks for all of the insight! I know it’s a tough question, especially not knowing anything about me. I would primarily be looking for something safe/convenient… though I’m not sure I could go without a W/D in the apartment. I also have student loans (private law school tuition… ugh), so that will certainly add to my expenditures.

      1. If your law school payments are anything like mine and you want an in-unit W/D, and live alone, in a decent neighborhood in DC…. I seriously can’t imagine that you could live comfortably (i.e., eating more than Ramen) under 100K.

      3. Yeah…seconding all of what roses and b said. You might be able to get one in an english basement, but an apt. building in DC is going to be difficult.

    11. It depends so much on how you live. Are you okay with a studio in an up-and-coming neighborhood ($1200-$1500/mo) or do you want a 1-br on top of the Metro ($1700-2500+)? Do you have hefty loan payments that you have to factor in? Do you want to meet friends out for dinner every night at fancy restaurants or are you willing to scout the free happy hours and/or cook at home? Entertainment is expensive, but it’s also something you can control.

      You may also want to check out the forums on city-data.com – there are often discussions there about salaries and feasibility.

      1. This is in response to the posts re the 20-something and 30-something moving to the DC area. I agree with PP that rent will cost at least $1000/mo in a good neighborhood. That said, I have male friends who live in a group house and pay about $800/ea, but it is a walk to a metro and not the safest area. For the 20-something: when I first moved to DC, I made $22K/year working on the Hill. Granted, that was 9 years ago, but Hill salaries are still quite low compared to private industry (you can view them on Legistorm). I had a GREAT time living in DC at that age, even on a low salary – so you can make it work! After a few years in the city, I moved to Courthouse, then later to Ballston. For the 30-something: I second the idea of looking at houses or townhomes. I never minded the high-rises I lived in (with roommates), and loved having the garage for a car, the gym, pool, etc. Ballston has more restaurants and bar now than it did a few years ago. And a fairly quick metro ride into the city. We had low-ish rent (and a W/D in our unit) in the Avalon in Ballston. It was a little dated, but super convenient to the metro and 66. And the other residents seemed older (or at least more respectful) than neighbors I had in Courthouse. Oh I almost forgot! I lived in a studio in Courthouse (in a residential neighboorhood just off of Wilson Blvd) – it was a 4-story apartment building. And I loved that place! I didn’t have W/D in my unit. But everything else was fantastic, and cheap, for a studio. So there are definitely alternatives to high rises if you don’t want to go that route. Whew. Sorry for the long post!

  8. Anyone else here in IT? I feel like such an outlier here (I also never really comment) – I am a) in IT (software developer) and b) in mainland Europe.

    1. I’m in IT. Currently, I work for a university in the US (Boston area) and I’m a Business Intelligence Analyst.

      We’re in the minority on this site, but we exist…

    3. Hey, I am a software developer, work in finance but do write lots and lots of code.

    4. I’m not a developer but I work for an IT firm. Part of the reason I love ‘r e t t e: fashion advice, career advice, life advice and hey, free legal advice! ;)

    6. I’m in IT, most recently Chief Architect and now Sr. Director IT Risk & Reassurance, in the US for a global company.

    8. I am not a developer…but I do run product for an IT firm. And I hire developers :)

    9. IT development manager in Scandinavia. IT engineer->developer-> project manager -> manager for an internal development organisation. Just changed over from consulting. First time working in-house. So odd being part of the support staff instead of the production.

    10. Late reply – I work for an IT group – data processing and distribution. Looking to move into a combination advisory/contract management capacity in the tropics.

  9. Inspired by the Q above – I don’t have any info on DC, but I’m curious how R e t t e s would define the cost of a single person living alone in their city. In my Northeastern city (Boston), and assuming as a young single person, you would want to live in the city, in a location where there are other people similar to you (rather than out in the ‘burbs), you would need:

    Housing : A studio would run 1200-1600 in some of the younger/trendier areas, a 1 bed would probably run 1500-2000.

    Utilities: H/HW are often included, but not always. Internet/TV would probably run $60-80/mo (assuming lowest plan) and electric would run $40ish on average, I’d assume.

    Car: Completely unnecessary, but if you did have/need one, parking will be at least $100/mo, insurance will probably be $80+/mo.

    Transit: A monthly T pass is $70.

    That would cover basic housing/transportation expenses, I think. Under the principle that you shouldn’t spend more than 33% of your takehome pay on rent, to live at the lowest level ($1200 studio which might be possible in parts of Allston Brighton or Fenway, mayyyybe), you should make about $43K in take home pay. That means a single person living alone should make at least $60Kish per year, in Boston. That sounds about right to me.

    What about your city?

    1. FYI. My one-bedroom in the suburbs (south of the city) is in your price range for a similar place in the city. H/HW are not included. And internet/TV is over $100. I do have a car, but parking is included. My car insurance is about $65/month.

      I drive to the T and pay $7/day on top of the $70 I spend for the T pass.

      1. Yeah I should clarify that I mean living alone – definitely not well. None of the studios/1 beds in these ranges will be particularly nice or updated, but I do have friends who are paying 1300ish for studios out in Allston on the B line, with H/HW. They won’t be nice – old kitchens, tiny stoves, little bathrooms and occasionally pests – but they do exist. The further out, the cheaper, obviously.

        Not sure why internet/TV would have to be so high though – we are currently paying $80/mo on Comcast, with HBO/Showtime included (we split between two people) — maybe we lucked into a good deal.

        My car insurance went up a lot when I moved from the ‘burbs into the city. Like… from $50/mo to $100/mo (1 fender bender accident several years ago). But I think one of the biggest pluses of paying more to live in the city is most likely, you shouldn’t need a car (I do, because work is out in the suburbs).

    2. It so depends – median household income in NYC is 48k so I always think how lucky I am on my relatively low salary since it is well above the median.

      2. Yes – this is a great reminder. Plenty of people support a whole family, in Boston, on way way less than what I said above it “takes” to live in Boston.

        I meant this more as a question for the R e t t e stereotypes – young, recent college or grad school grads, typically no kids, some student loan debt, considering moves to other major metros and are looking to live alone, in areas with other young, single people, that are reasonably safe — what does that take?

        Obviously, there are many other kinds of people in the world, and many other kinds of people that read this blog! As someone who fits into the above stereotype though, I was just curious about other cities, especially as my job is getting tedious and I’m considering a major life change to a new place.

      3. I think this is a good point. I’m well aware that a family could probably live on my salary but my COL is probably higher because I choose to live in a nice building downtown and pay for amenities such as cable and internet. I find living downtown also means that all the places you tend to go to eat and drink are also expensive.

        I sometimes forget this so the reminder is helpful – that while I can afford my COL, it’s probably higher than necessary because of the life I choose to live.

        Downtown Toronto is expensive but not NYC expensive – based on the numbers you quoted above for Boston, I would say it’s probably pretty similar here.

    3. Houston is much cheaper than that. I think the brand new, trendy apartments are going for about $1200 per month for a one bedroom, so you can still get one that isn’t as new, but is in a great area of town, for less than that. You do have to have a car, though. I know some people who have made it without one and taken the bus, but it is so hot during the summer here that waiting for the bus is a dealbreaker for me. But parking will be free at your house and probably work too because Houston is such a car city. Groceries are generally cheap, and we have tons of great restaurants that aren’t that expensive. I think you can have a great lifestyle in Houston for less than $60,000 a year. Of course, more and more people are moving here, which will probably end up driving up expenses (boo).

      1. New Houstonian here. I just finished apartment shopping, and in my experience it all depends on where you’re willing to live. If you are okay with a commute and living in the burbs, you can find a very nice one bedroom apartment for $800-900/month. Between the Beltway and 610? Newer one bedrooms from $1000-$1200/month. Inside the loop? Most newer one bedrooms range from $1300-1500/month. Of course, if you’re willing to go for older buildings without all the amenities, all these prices are lower.

        Personally I just splurged on a brand new inner loop one-bedroom with 900-square feet, wood floors, stainless steel appliances, high ceilings, granite counters, etc. for $1450. For the same price in my old city I was living in an absolute dump with a roommate!

        1. I think you made the right choice! Inner loop is the only way to go if you can afford it, especially if schools are not an issue (although, even then, we’re planning on doing whatever we can to avoid moving OTL). $1450 is about what I would expect for a brand new, super nice apartment in the loop.

      2. I’m new to Houston too. Just rented a 900 square ft 1 bedroom for $900/month inside the loop. It does not have stainless steel/hardwood floors, but is large and nice (especially compared to the 500 square ft apartment we were renting in NYC). We are paying an extra $100 now to go month to month while we look for a place to buy. So far very impressed with how far money goes in Houston!

        We should do a r e t t e Houston meet up! There are bound to be more Houstonians out there.

        1. I think there are quite a few of us! I agree rent is very affordable here but in my inner loop neighborhood it’s been increasing a lot over the past couple years, so that still stings each time. There is a decent amount of new buildings opening up so hopefully it isn’t a continued trend.

    4. I’m currently looking at moving to a place on my own so this is very interesting. Assuming as you say, living in a ‘young’ area in the city…

      City: London, England – I am taking as a reference point the area I currently live in (Islington) which is a young/trendy-ish area.

      Housing: Studios around $1400-1600, one beds $1700-2000

      Utilities: Water is the only thing included, so would be paying for electricity, often gas, internet/phone etc, plus council tax. Council tax costs about double all your other bills put together so I’m expecting to need about $130-150 for bills monthly.

      Transit: Fortunately for me, this area is walking distance from work, but assuming you needed the underground/bus, a one-month ticket is $180. No need for car and if you had one, parking permit cost apparently depends on the type of car you have, but a resident permit in Islington is about $150-200.

      I’m looking at getting something around the $1800 mark for rent, so this with bills, rounded up to say $2000, will be 33% of my monthly salary so that would imply based on the above formula that to live alone in this particular area of North London, you would need to make $100k before tax. To add to this, I pay about 28% of my monthly salary in student loans, so I suppose if you didn’t have that and were happy to pay a higher percentage on rent, it would be fine with less.

      Also, a MASSIVE caveat, you can certainly live alone in areas further away from the centre that aren’t necessarily as nice or where the flats are not as nice, but this is based on the above assumptions and, ultimately, London is VERY expensive.

      Can I move to Boston please?!?

      1. Also just to say, these are not high-spec one beds. I lived in a shared flat before that was a newly built and more high spec and there the one bedroom places start at $2500!

      2. When my sister studied abroad in London, she was the slimmest I’ve ever seen her (and she’s a small person to begin with). I asked her what she was doing that she had lost SO much weight and she said, “It’s so expensive here. I. Can’t. Afford. To. Eat. That is my diet.”

        2. Expensive food plus being able to walk everywhere meant that I was able to EASILY lose weight. Best diet ever! Though it did help being a broke student, going out was pretty hard. Well that and when I had a choice between going to see a show and going out to eat, well I would just make myself a sandwich :)

          1. Oops, meant to specify this was during my semester abroad in London. I got too excited and typed too fast. I really loved my semester in London!

      3. Also, I’ve just checked that the median salary for London is around $43k

      4. Cool! I used to live in Islington too! But I lived closer to the Hackney side (Kingsland Road) so couldn’t walk to work. Islington is great, but London is super expensive. I didn’t put away half as much money as I should have while living there…

        I agree though, I wouldn’t have wanted to live much further out than I did. When I first moved to London I looked at a flat near the Arsenal stadium and am so glad I didn’t get it….just would have added that much more time onto my commute that it would not have been fun…

        1. I lived in Islington too! Being able to walk to work in London is key, both for money savings and sanity.

          1. Me three! I lived in Islington for a 4 month stint in London a few years back. So convenient and I loved it.

    5. I never get tired of hearing of costs of living in other parts of the country. Here, in a mid-sized city in Tennessee, you could easily get by OK but frugally for 25-30K. The nicest 1 bedroom apartment I’ve ever seen, in the most desirable downtown location, was, I think, $950 a few years ago, and it was small but lovely. Husband and I rented an older but fine 2 BR in the burbs for about $800 per month, now we have a really, really nice house and pay around what most people are describing in tiny apartment rent. I have a friend who’s mortgage is less than $800/month (tiny house in a bad neighborhood, but still).

      1. The differences are insane sometimes. I grew up in a mid-sized Texas city, where you could get a nice one-bedroom apartment for $700/mo. My parents rent a four-bedroom townhome for $1200/mo. I now live in Boston. Those rents are what I would pay for a *single room* (I’m paying $750 right now for my fourth of a 4-bed apartment), or maybe, maybe, a teeny tiny studio in a sketchy building. Of course, I’m also probably making more than I would be in Texas, and I don’t have to own a car, but I still sometimes longingly think of Texas rent prices!

        1. Yup. I know two people who live alone. They both make a bit more than I do and have no student debt…

    6. These responses are really interesting!

      City: San Francisco

      Housing: A relatively nice 1 bedroom in a good neighborhood is easily $2500 – $3000 a month. I’ve seen studios for $1900. Obviously a bit cheaper if you look in less central/safe/desirable neighborhoods, but not by much.

      Utilities: My roommate and I pay gas, electricity, and cable/internet. PG&E bill averages around $40/month (more in the winter, less in the summer), and Comcast is $110/month for high speed internet, full cable (no HBO), and an HDDVR box.

      Car: I park mine on the street ($100/year for a residential permit), but a parking spot in a garage in our neighborhood is at least $250/month. Can’t speak much to insurance rates – mine are super low since I drive < 25 miles a week and my car is old.

      Transit: Monthly Muni pass is $66. BART costs more, but I never use it since I live and work centrally.

      1. for contrast:

        Oakland: I have a nice but small 1 bedroom in a decent neighborhood, BART adjacent, for $950, which is a steal. But, prices vary a lot in Oakland depending on where you are.

        Utilities: PG&E is from $30-70/month depending on season. I don’t have cable, internet is $50/month.

        Car: I have street parking that is free in this neighborhood, but if I drive to work it costs me about $160/month to park in downtown Oakland. Taking public transit to work costs about $100/month. My car insurance skyrocketed when i moved to Oakland, so that is $140/month.

        I have a below market nonprofit salary so I can just cover these expenses every month and have money for groceries. Eating out/entertainment in the bay area is Expensive, so I have to severely limit my socializing and cook at home to make it through the month. I think someone making 50-60K could live pretty comfortably in my neighborhood, thought.

        1. Do you have any suggestions on finding a reasonable place in the Bay area, especially in neighborhoods that are decent but still affordable? One of my coworkers is transferring to our SF office in the fall and she’s just starting to look at places. I suggested the Rockridge area, as I lived there when I was a summer associate and it was great. However, even that might be out of her price range (ideally under $1,000). How did you find your place. Any vacancies near you?

          1. There is no way she is going get a place in Rockridge for that price if she wants her own place, possible with roommates though. Lake Meritt may be a better place to look in that budget. SF would be out of the question for he rown place. Craigslist is where most people I know get their rental apartments.

          2. Finding a place on her own *under* a $1000 could be tough. Berkeley can be much more expensive than Oakland, btw, and the difficulty with Oakland is that it is HUGE, so you really have to know which neighborhoods are which. And it depends what she means by “decent” location. I did live in the Lake Merrit neighborhood for a while, it was not that safe, and not convenient to public transit at all.

            If she really needs to live on her own, and wants a nice place, she should expect to pay about $1000, or a little more. If she wants to be near BART, then she will want to look at places near the MacArthur, Ashby or Rockridge stations. If she doesn’t need to be near BART, she can probably find slightly better deals a little father out in South Berkeley, North Oakland, Piedmont Avenue, Adams Point/Oakland Ave/Harrison St neighborhoods.

            She could find a share in a nice place in a nice neighborhood for more like $6-800, if she is willing to live with one or two other people. I did that for a while, only moved because I am in my mid-30s and was REALLY ready to live by myself, even though I knew it would be a financial struggle. And she could find a shared apartment in some parts of SF (Mission/Bernal Heights, etc) for under $1000 which could be just as convenient.

            I found my place on craigslist, but it took a lot of driving around and checking places out. When I first moved here, I found a cheap sublet for 2 months, which gave me time to check out lots of places, figure out the neighborhoods and find the perfect place. Sorry for the novel, if your coworker wants any help or more specific advice, feel free to give her my email, I’d be happy to help ;o) zoradances at the google mail.

          3. We live in the Adams Point neighborhood and I’d highly recommend it for apartments. We rent a house but there are lots of small apartment buildings in the neighborhood. Many never seem to show up on craigslist, but if you drive around, you see signs. We’re not immediately BART-adjacent, but we are bus and casual carpool-adjacent and the Nineteenth Street BART is not a bad walk. The whole Lake Merritt area has gotten a lot nicer even in the year we’ve been here – it’s worth exploring.

          4. If the office is in SF, I would suggest one of the cities just south – Colma, South San Francisco, or Daly City, that are connected by BART. I would consider these more convenient than the east bay, the down side is less sunshine.

    7. The thing that always surprises me is how much cheaper food is in the US (and really, even just in eastern Canada as opposed to where I am).

      I don’t buy meat/eggs/dairy, and though I choose to shop at a locally owned grocery store, and buy organic/local goods (which does up my cost, but I’m okay with it), even at a regular grocery store I’d find it really difficult to spend less than $50/week for a single person.

      If I was buying meat/eggs/dairy, I imagine it would be closer to $70 at a regular grocery store. When I first moved here, I remember specifically being shocked at the price of eggs and milk, which are both so much cheaper in the Great Lakes area of Canada. And then, whenever I read blogs/magazines that cost out food in the US, I am always flabbergasted by the pricing. Food is definitely much more expensive in Canada than the US.

      Maybe I’m just bad at food budgeting, but I remember I could easily spend $30-$40/week in Montreal and eat well, including meat/dairy/eggs, and that would be impossible here.

      1. I don’t know how much cheaper it is. I know when a friend of mine went to school in Canada, he said the food (and alcohol) prices were ridiculously cheaper. That was Montreal, though.

        I don’t buy all organic, local, etc. though I am careful to buy better quality foods generally and sometimes that includes organic. I also typically shop the sales (for instance, blackberries were on sale for a great price this week, so I bought them instead of strawberries). I do buy dairy and meat. I would say that, on average, I spend around $50-60 per week on food (sometimes (a lot) more, probably never less). I do cook all of my own food at home, though (go out to eat maybe once every two to four weeks), so I might be buying more than others.

    8. I live in an expensive town in Southern California (think coastal area).

      Housing : A studio would run $1,500+ in any nice complex west of the 405; a one-bedroom would be at least $1,700. We currently pay $3,500 for a 1,600 square foot 2 bed/2.5 bath on the water (and are well aware that we’re getting a steal).

      Utilities: I haven’t paid utilities in awhile (thanks, BF & last roommate) but from when I lived on my own, I paid for everything – I even got a bill (like $10) for trash collection. Virtually nothing was included. I used to budget $200-$350/month per utilities, depending on how much I needed to run the AC.

      Car: Very necessary. I currently don’t have a car payment, but pay about $80/month for insurance and $100-$200/month for gas, depending on how much I drive.

  10. Work advice (not in law). Approached my manager about changing my hours, was given a vague I’ll think about it/I’m not sure because everyone else does. Since then I nailed several very large profile assignments and have generally been a good employee. I’m thinking of asking again (email? in person?). The problem is basically anyone who has a kid and therefore daycare gets a pass. I am single, but I’d like to be able to do certain things after work that aren’t currently possible. Do I ‘justify’ my request or just state it. FWIW I’m not proposing to work a very different schedule, but it seems to be a weird sticking point here.

    1. What are you doing now and what are you proposing going to? Are you working with different time zones which means you really can’t arrive/leave before a certain time?

      1. No different time zones. I am proposing to shift earlier by an hour (still well within the normal business hours) and there are other people here who have the same function I do, that work within our core hours. Due to the transportation, an hour later means significantly more commute time (an additional 45 minutes each way) which is why I can’t take classes, volunteer, have a life.

        1. So if your current schedule is 8-5 and you want to shift to 7-4, I’d just state that. Be prepared to address any concerns like coverage in your position until 5, access to your resources earlier than 8, etc. If you are in a supporting role, reassure the manager that the people you report to aren’t losing the support they need.

          1. Thanks!

            Last question. Should I do it in person or over email. Manager doesn’t seem to like drop ins, but some folks have said email seems passive aggressive. Thoughts? FWIW I’d state it pretty much like you said, either way.

          2. My initial response got eaten, so sorry if this posts twice.

            Thanks for your input. Do you have any thoughts on email versus in person? My manager doesn’t seem to like it when people drop-in, but I wasn’t sure if email would come off as passive-aggressive.

          3. Emailto set up a time to talk. It’s easier to say no in writing than to someone’s face. Be prepared to answer any questions about how this affects your team.

  11. TJ: I manage a group of about 15 people, and they have worked together fantastically over the last couple of weeks. The usual simple group recognition would be bagels or pastries, but my group includes a vegan, someone with severe celiac disease (gluten-free), and a member with life-threatening nut allergies. Any suggestions for a food (or non food!) group reward? Fruit would work, but, uh, I’d like something that’s more of a treat! Thanks!

    1. How about cupcakes? Many places now offer both vegan and gluten-free options (package those separately) and there should be plenty of nut-free options for the person with the allergy.

      1. I also agree with cupcakes- all the places I know offer gluten-free, and vegan and nut-free options, though they should be packaged separately.

        And as a vegetarian that doesn’t eat eggs and is lactose-intolerant, I love that you’re taking this into account. I have a lunch today, and the restaurant has not a single vegan option. Usually I can sneak by with a green salad, but today, I don’t know what I’ll do.

      2. Take it from a “food allergy” mom – bakery cupcakes are usually out. Most bakeries can’t or won’t guarantee no cross-contamination.

      1. Every time someone mentions Edible Arrangements, I wonder if I am the only naysayer. I am seriously icked out by the idea of someone manhandling perfectly good fruit into a decorative arrangement. I’d much rather receive a Harry & David’s basket of fruit to peel and cut myself!

        2. Same. Plus they are always tons of melon and red grapes which are just not even close to my favorite fruits.

    3. Ice cream with a non-dairy option for the vegan? (make sure the ice cream is also gluten-free before buying). You can do cones for the gluten-eaters and cups for the non-gluten eaters. Toppings can include fruit, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, nuts (if you can keep them separate because of the no-nut person).

      It is very considerate of you to do this and to consider everyone’s dietary limitations.

      1. Jeni’s has both dairy and gluten free options. And delivers. Expensive, but delicious.

      2. Sorbet! So much easier to trust. Get cups for everyone so that it doesn’t differentiate between everyone. 2-3 flavors would be enough. Definitely get something with ingredient labels.

    5. Thanks for all the responses! I was able to grab sorbet and ice cream with plenty of fruit and candy for toppings, and it was a total hit.

  12. Our home was burglarized yesterday. We’re fortunately ok and property can be replaced. Any suggestions for security systems in DC?

    1. No suggestions, just wanted to say sorry you had to go through that and glad you are OK!

    2. So sorry. I’ve been through that before. We have ADT (now Brinks, I believe) in our house and pay about $50 a month. The installation cost about $300.

    4. That is awful! No suggestions, but I would make sure to ask companies if the alarm is wired through the phone lines, if it will automatically trigger a call if that line is cut. A friend’s house was broken into and the person(s) who broke in cut a line and it didn’t trigger. They’re in FL, so not sure if the companies are the same, but definitely made me think twice.

    5. Oh, ew. I feel you. We were burglarized about three weeks after moving into our new house (in a nice town/neighborhood!). They took my ipod, but that was it. Cops said it was teens looking for pills (apparently part of a pattern). They looked through EVERYTHING– inc. my underwear drawer, jewelry box, under our bed and into our paperwork…seriously icky.

      We never got an alarm system, but we did get a dog. We had been planning on a dog anyway, and this sort of kicked us in gear.

      Now, our dog is *actually* a great guard dog–he will bark at anyone he doesn’t recognize, and wake up in the middle of the night if there are new/unknown noises outside. We used to think he was a PITA, but he’s NEVER been wrong. He’s woken up when there were groups of (harmless) teens loitering on the street outside our house, when there was a raccoon on our back deck getting into the trash…and even when there was an ambulance next door!

      However, most studies show that if you’re interested in deterring petty theft, any dog will do (bigger = better). Most people go from house to house, and if they see something that could be trouble, they just move on to the next house. So even if you have a “lick you to death” golden retriever, a burglar will see a dog and decide to look for a more opportune house.

      FWIW, there was another series of break-ins (I use break in lightly, as we live in a town were nobody locks their doors) a few years later…and several houses on our street were impacted. Every other house had a dog, or someone home at the time. (They caught the kid…it was some 17 year old who got high and thought he could make some quick $$. Seriously? Kids these days.)

      1. Oh- one other thing. When DH works late, I never, NEVER feel creeped out in the house. This dog has my back and will tell me if a car is driving TOO SLOWLY through the neighborhood. He knows if the creak in the attic is a squirrel or if it’s just he house settling. We once caught a guy creeping on his ex wife (my next door neighbor) because he was parked across the street for long enough that my dog got suspicious and woofed at me…I called the neighbor since he was looking at her place (I assumed robber… but didn’t want to jump to anything)…and she called the cops. Turns out there was all kinds of drama/restraining order/etc.

    6. Adoptions at the Washington Humane Society are fee-waived this weekend. Get an adult dog – they’re calmer, and way cuter than an alarm system.

  13. TJ: The Huffington Post has an article by Lisa Endlich Heffernan: Why I regret being a stay at home mum. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/grown-and-flown/why-i-regret-being-a-stay-at-home-mom_b_3402691.html) Saw her interviewed on NBC this morning. She admits to feeling remorse about leaving the workforce, saying she feels her world “narrowed”. At work she interacted with people of various backgrounds and ages etc and as SAHM her social circle consisted of women her own age, with kids of the same age from similar backgrounds. She also admits to letting go of her aspirations as time went by. Just thought this might be of interest since some of the discussions on this site centre around the issue of working vs not working when one becomes a mum. Ms. Heffernan says she wishes she had kept a “toe” dipped in the world of work to ease the transition back.
    Interestingly enough I also happened upon another on the BBC site: The top reasons mothers
    are still leaving the workforce. (http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20130619-how-to-keep-moms-in-the-workforce). I am summarizing here: apparently women with bachelors degrees from elite universities and those with MBAs from the top institutions are more likely to “opt out” of the workforce than those who went to less prestigious schools. The BBC site has a link to the actual study. I’m guessing these women are also likely to marry men with careers equally as high powered or maybe they are in households where lost income has less of a negative effect?
    Just wondered if anyone in the hive has read these. What do you think? Brought it up since some of the discussions on this site centre around how to work or even whether to continue doing so after becoming a parent. Also some of the comments on the Huff Post site are from SAHD(ads) who express the same feelings as SAHMs i.e. lost income, what to do in case of divorce etc. As an aside just this week I was chatting with a mum of 5 who runs her own company, was looking for some career advice. One of the things she said was “Marry the right guy”, yes those exact words! It stuck with me, especially coz I think that’s something I heard Sheryl Sandberg said. (NB: I haven’t read her book).

    1. I found these articles interesting. I’m about to start a high powered graduate program, which my mother was also graduated from. I would say many, if not most of the women that she graduated with had careers but eventually slowed them or stopped them (my mother included) and the reason was almost entirely because they had married men who had very high powered careers as well so a) it was feasible to take a break from the workforce and live comfortably on one income or b) they couldn’t both constantly be moving for the best opportunity and taking care of kids – someone’s career had to take a front seat.

      I don’t know if it will be different for my generation, to be honest. The same problems are still there.

    2. Random question related to this. The job market is so tough right now that being out of work at all makes it difficult to get back in, regardless of why you left. Was it always as difficult for women who stayed at home to re-enter the workforce?

      My mother quit working as a nurse when I was born and had been out of the workforce for about 8 years when she and my dad were divorced. I remember it being so hard for her to get a job so she went back to school. So she had primary custody of 3 kids, was trying to get a degree, and trying to work basically anywhere she could. That’s my own personal experience of the marry the right person advice. I have friends whose mothers decided to stay at home, stayed happily married, and didn’t want to or need to go back to work. They tended to be pretty active volunteers to stay busy and have a community of people to interact with.

      1. I should add that as far as I know it was definitely financially feasible for my mother to stay home and I have no idea whether she intended to ever go back to work if she didn’t have to. Her difficulty in finding a job was also largely due to some mental health issues so I don’t know if her experience would be typical of other women trying to go back to work during that time period.

  14. Just wanted to thank everyone who responded to my Fayetteville WV question yesterday, so many good ideas and so appreciated!

  15. So I was all set to buy this dress (link to follow) and then the model turned around. Why is the zipper so…prominent?

      1. Apparently exposed zippers are the latest thing. It’s one thing if the dress is monochromatic, but the black zipper on white could be a turnoff. I’m old enough to remember a lot of styles that keep recycling, but I don’t remember exposed zippers being the rage any time in the last 40 years.

    2. :(

      I don’t have a hate on for exposed zippers like a lot of people here but I do have a hate on for that exposed zipper unfortunately.

    4. That’s a cute dress and I’m usually all for exposed zippers … but that one is just weird. (And yay for another plus-sized person on here! I thought I was the only one.) Does Asos run big / small?

      1. That’s a cute dress and I’m usually all for exposed zippers … but that one is just weird. (And yay for another plus-sized person on here! I thought I was the only one.) Does Asos run big / small?

  16. What is your favourite and least favourite spice?

    I love cardamom. Pods, ground, whatever. I think it’s great in sweet and savory dishes (and I don’t think that about many things). It’s definitely underloved.

    I really don’t like coriander seeds. I’m okay with cilantro leaves, but coriander seeds are the devil.

    1. Yes, agree totally on the coriander/cilantro. Also don’t like basil, as herbs go, but I am learning to live with it.

      Not sure what my favourite would be though…

    2. Fun question!

      I love cinnamon, vanilla, basil, chili pepper, cilantro, dill, garlic, mustard, and black pepper.

      I loathe anise.

        1. I can take or leave fennel, I guess. I don’t hate it, but I don’t go out of my way to eat it.

    3. I love cinnamon. (The cinnamon challenge was not pleasant but I did manage to get through it!)
      I hate … the seeds in rye bread and also used in several Hungarian dishes. Carraway? Not sure what its called but I can’t stand it.

      2. The cinnamon challege is really dangerous! My friend’s husband is a doctor (heart doctor I think) and he’s been on lots of radio shows etc. talking about the dangers of the cinnamon challenge. It’s really bad.

        1. Yes admittedly this was kind of a stupid thing to do, I was much younger and foolhardy then. :p A number of my friends tried within a few weeks span when this thing first came out, luckily no one suffered any adverse effects.

        2. The CDC actually put out a warning because kids were coming into the ER with collapsed lungs! Who knew something seemingly so dumb could be so dangerous

    4. I love garlic, cumin, cinnamon, vanilla, cilantro, paprika, curry, coriander and rosemary.

      I was going to say I don’t hate any spice, but reading everyone’s posts reminded me that I hate anise, paprika and fennel. I also dislike (but don’t hate) dill.

      1. Dill is a weird one for me- I think they key is only using the leafy parts, because I find the stems too strong/bitter, and it needs to be a moderate amount . I like dill a lot in moderation, but otherwise, it’s bad.

        I also don’t love paprika. I bought a whole bunch of smoked paprika while I was in spain – the sweet, bittersweet, and spicy ones. And now I have tons of paprika, and I just…do not like the smokiness.

        I don’t like anise, but I really like fennel, which I guess is weird because they have similar flavours, but fennel is somehow okay. Especially roasted or grilled, or shaved with a mandoline into a salad.

        1. Mmm, that reminds me. I loved smoked spices! Paprika, salt, etc. I like fennel as a vegetable, but not as a spice.

    5. Oh, and I should have also mentioned tarragon – which I think is underused, and I’m always pleasantly surprised when I find it in a dish at a restaurant, or when I sneak it into something I’m cooking at home.

    6. I don’t know if it’s exactly my favorite, but I do love all the paprikas (sweet, hot, smoked) and use them in lots of dishes.

      For least favorite, I was going to say caraway seeds until someone mentioned anise. But I oddly love fennel seeds.

    1. I’m interested too… On the grey version, people were complaining they were “itchy” and unlined. Anyone here tried them?

    2. I have a CE skirt and a lot of tops, and I would say they run true to size. I don’t own any of their pants but I have tried some on before and found they were true to size.

  18. I’m trying to figure out how to deal with a somewhat frustrating friend situation. I’m pretty sure that she fakes being sick when she’s invited to something and doesn’t actually want to say no. It annoys me. I’d rather she just said she didn’t want to go in the first place. I used to just think, “Wow, she gets sick often,” but recently she skipped out on a friend’s birthday drinks outing and everyone was kind of like, “Oh, yeah, she’s sick… apparently,” and I realized that I wasn’t the only one observing this pattern. When she plans the event and it’s on her terms, somehow she’s always well. But if it’s a Friday after a long week or people will be present that she’s not a fan of, she somehow mysteriously gets sick. She’s pulled this the night before we’ve had brunch or something and she’ll always be fine for that (she loves brunch). I ask how she’s feeling, and she always says something like, “Oh, much better. I had a headache and went to bed early, but now I’m great.”

    She also hates taking public transportation, so she’ll say she’s feeling sick and would prefer to drive places. It’s hard to argue with her because I always think, well, maybe she really does feel sick, and who am I to challenge her on that? But she seems to use it to get her way or to get out of doing things she doesn’t want (she’s never sick when it’s something I know she wants to do), and I find that so frustrating.
    We’ve been friends for years, so I know that this is a pattern. Is it worth calling her out on it, or do I just accept it for what it is?

    1. If she were my friend, I would add “If you don’t want to come, no big deal” after I invited her to something. If she still acts sick, I say just let it go. This is just her annoying habit.

      Or, you could try to read a book like Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office with her. She is clearly uncomfortable just saying no to people and it could be the result of her family dynamics growing up / gender socialization / whatever.

    2. Is the issue that she cancels at the last minute or that she’s not participating in certain things under false pretenses? If the former, that’s an issue. I don’t know if I’d address it with her, though it’s reasonable to do so; I might just stop inviting her to things where her cancellation at the last minute is going to cause an issue. If it’s the latter, I wouldn’t worry about it; it’s entirely possible she has social anxiety issues of some sort that make certain types of social events difficult.

      1. Yes, agree about the reasons. I meant to say below that I think my friend sometimes doesn’t come to certain things because she feels uncomfortable about them due to being quite obese, but she doesn’t feel comfortable saying that so instead says she can’t go. So there may be underlying reasons you don’t know about.

    3. Tough one. I have a friend whom I see much less often now than I used to, but she kinda does this.

      She is very often ill or she won’t come to things where (1) her husband isn’t going to and (2) she would have to travel on public transport alone without him. This is so bad that once she arranged to meet a mutual friend of ours for a drink and half way through it transpired that she had brought her husband but he was off ‘having a walk’ while they were having this drink.

      It has got to the point where if she cancels at the last minute because she is ‘tired’, everyone sort of rolls their eyes and goes ‘surprise surprise’.

      Nobody has ever said anything and I doubt I ever would now because I see her much less often than I used to and she is not the type of person who would be responsive to this, so maybe calling her out on it wouldn’t work out for anyone’s benefit. Ultimately, if you call her out on it, you may lose her as a friend and is that better or worse than her punking out a lot? Only you know because you know your friend so think that is the key.

    4. When I was really depressed and sufferring from pretty bad social anxiety, I would use feeling “sick” as an excuse a lot. I’m sure my friends noticed, but honestly, I was sick…just not in the way people usually think of.

      Just a perspective you might not have thought of.

    5. I had similar concerns about a friend. It turned out that she had IBS and very legitimately felt bad a lot of the time at inconvenient moments and had symptoms that made group interaction seem undesirable. I was very glad that I said something along the lines of “you seem to be under the weather a lot lately. Is everything okay?” instead of continuing to assume she was blowing me off.

    6. While canceling last minute or seeming to make up an excuse are annoying, it is possible she is not making it up. There are many chronic illnesses where this type of flare up is possible. Also, if she has bad migraines (or other illnesses, but I know for sure with migraines), it is possible that they are made worse (depending on the type of migraine) by stress about the social situation. I also know that if there is something you feel obligated to do or have been really looking forward to, not only is there that lack of stress and nerves, but also there is a feeling of having to power through it if it is a minor migraine (or similar).

      If you feel the need to address it, I would suggest mentioning that you noticed she has been sick a lot lately and just wanted to make sure she is okay and wondered if there is anything you can do to help.

    7. I had a friend who used to get ‘sick’ a lot but it stopped quite dramatically actually AFTER she had a baby. I think before she had difficulty in realizing how inconvenient it was for her to be so flaky, but that after she had this new responsibility, she has been much better about realizing her actions impact on other people. She is also always keen to get out without the kid!

    8. Am I your friend? I do this to avoid hurting people’s feelings and I literally do stay home and go to bed early. A lot of people feel the need to pressure me when I say I am not in the mood to go out, somehow thinking they can change my mind. I find that when I say I am not feeling well, people let it slide more easily.

  19. Cannot access Tumblr from work, but here’s a request if you care to vicariously shop for me:
    Looking for a pair of “city” shorts with a decently long (but not frumpy) inseam length. Not sure where that falls but I think maybe 7″ on my 5’5″ frame? Don’t want to go the bermuda route but I’d still like to sit down and not show too much inner thigh.
    I’m size 4, curvy on the bottom (smaller waist, large of booty), and hate to iron (so no linen blends). Also want a dark color (navy), with a bit of stretch, in the <$40 range, and Lands end is all I've identified right now (fit comments welcome).

    1. No help from me on the shopping issues, but I think TCFKAG may have said that she migrated her blog off of Tumblr. You can find a recent comment of hers to this site, because she links her name to the blog.

    2. Banana Republic has a pair of faux-bermudas, but I’ve heard they changed their fit this year to be much larger. I scoured stores for this same thing and the only option I found was at Brooks Brothers – about $100 before their recent 40% off sale. Above your price point but seriously, nobody had longer shorts this year!

    5. The blog is now Tcfkag dot weebly dot com

      She is on vacation at the moment though so may not reply immediately if you send her a request :)

    6. Thank you. I just meant by “city” shorts that they should not be obviously sportswear. I love the J Crew factory and Old Navy options you posted above! Any feedback on whether either of them is a curvy fit? Reading the Old Navy reviews suggests yes, but the JC-Fac doesn’t have reviews.

      1. The ON shorts fit my hips w/o gapping much in the waist. I’m a high-waisted hourglass shape and don’t like most curvy fits because there is more fabric in the upper legs than I like, at least in pants.

      2. I’m a fairly curvy/hippy person, and have been happy with Old Navy’s shorts. They have just a little bit of stretch to them too.

    7. I’m a little taller but a similar build and had good luck with Ann Taylor shorts this season. I ended up getting a 6 which worked well since they got a little snugger after washing (not bad — just need to wear once to re-stretch).

  20. Any recommendations for a thin button down shirt? Button down shirts only look good on me if there fairly thin – otherwise they bulge out too much, regardless of size. I’m 5’4″ and 117 pounds with wide hips :( so tucked in shirts usually look weird on me. He only ones which work are actually from h&m, but it would be great to hear about other places too

    1. I have the same problem. My bust is not especially big but my waist is considerably smaller, my upper body is kind of a triangle shape. Honestly the best I’ve found for my shape are at New York & Company – they have darts and are a lot more fitted in the bottom half than any other shirt I’ve found. See, e.g. (this one is ruched but I’ve gotten many without the ruching that are still very effective) http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/prod/Tops/Shirts/The-Madison-Striped-Button-Front-Stretch-Shirt

    2. Target has/had some nice lightweight button downs (I’m similar in size to you and totally understand the inability to wear heavy, crispy shirts). I think they are the Merona brand, maybe Mossimo, but women’s, not junior sizes. I also found that the Gap’s button downs (can’t remember the name, but I got one printed with bugs) worked pretty well on me.

      And I second NY&Co for button downs that fit those of us who have smaller frames/shoulders, but are still kind of busty.

  21. I need some advice.
    I’m 26, I’m French with a Masters from a French business school and an MBA from a US university. I worked for 2 years in Eastern Europe as a project manager (managing 6 accounts and over 60 employees, increased my main account by 60% over the 2 years, overall a very successful experience, even though salaries there are very low compared to what my classmates would make in other parts of the world). I’ve now been back to Western Europe for 1 year, working as a recruiter in a crappy company because at the time it was all I could find, and being paid minimum wage. I’ve been looking for another job for a year (anything from receptionist to account manager…) and got nothing. My contract here will end in November. Also, I’m here with my SO, who’s very happy in his job here.
    I’ve just been contacted by my former employer. He’s offering my a higher position than what I had before, back in Eastern Europe. It would be for a year, minimum. I don’t know what to do and need your advice.
    On one hand, this is not a country where I want to build my life (but I could probably live there for a few years). I would be far away from my SO (5+ hours flight, around 300€ minimum, so not something we would do every weekend). I also feel it would slow down our plans, especially it might mean we would start having babies later.
    On the other hand, I’ve been feeling down since I started this new job. I’ve lost all confidence in my education, past achievements, or capabilities (hence me applying to receptionist or cashier positions). Being back at a job I excelled at would be good for me. Living alone for a year might help me feel like I can count on myself, too. And in a year from now, with a resume a little more complete, maybe finding a job here would be easier?
    To complicate things further: since I’ve had such a hard time finding a job here, I’ve been thinking about what really interests me (posted about it here and got awesome feedback, thanks ladies!). I think I would really like being in event planning. BUT I have no experience in that, and it doesn’t seem to be an industry that hires a whole lot during an economic crisis… This job in Eastern Europe has nothing to do with event planning.

    So

    Should I go for it, improve my resume for the next year, be long-distance with my SO, and hopefully get a great job here with him after that year?
    Should I not take it, stay here at my crappy job, try to maintain my confidence level, and hope I find just anything before November?
    Should I not take it, stay here at my crappy job, try to maintain my confidence level, and not settle for less than my perfect job in perfect the country I want to live in?

    I really hope some of you guys are still around, I desperately need advice (as you can tell)…
    Thanks!!!

    1. Don’t do it. If you ultimately want to be working in France, this job wont help.

      1. thanks for answering!
        i see your point. But I’m thinking that maybe there won’t be a job for me here in the foreseeable future, not with my degrees. Going back to school and starting over in a new field isn’t doable. So should I just leave and pick a new place I like and try to find something there?

      2. Not familiar with the European job market at all, but it sounds like your past experience in the Eastern European country isn’t helping at all with landing a job where you want to live. Unless the new experience will make you more employable in the place where you ultimately want to live, it doesn’t sound worth it at all, especially with the LDR and wanting-to-switch-fields things factored in.

        1. You’re right about my past experience not helping here. I honestly don’t know what to do, what kind of jobs to apply to. Here he has a great job, and I can’t even find an interesting opening. Should we move again to a third place where we could both work?
          Thank you both for helping me, sometimes ‘strangers’ give better advice than friends!

          1. Ok, 3 to none, seems like we have a consensus on NOT taking the job :)
            Thanks everyone.
            Any other advice for me on how to find my ‘way’?

          2. I hear that it is almost impossible for *anyone* to find a job in France right now. :o( My family members who live there are working under the table or tele-working for companies based elsewhere.

            I know what it’s like to be miserable in a dead end job, and I know I can’t do it indefinitely. So, if I was you I would find SOME way out. But in this case, if you have been looking and looking and haven’t found any possible openings and it’s been a long time, I don’t know if you can trust that something will show up before you completely lose your mind. So, a couple of thoughts:

            1) are you open to another country? Can you try at least looking for job openings in another country to see if there are more options somewhere else, and then have the discussion with your SO about the practicalities of your moving there together? 2) Do you know what field you want to be in/what position you want to have? If so, try finding some people in your network who are in that field or have that job and asking for an informational interview, find out what you would need to get that job, what they think the prospects are, what they would be looking for in hiring someone into that field. 3) can you lower your standards a tiny bit about what you think a “perfect job” is? And look for something that is at least a step up from where you are now. I know it is hard to job hunt when you’ve been underemployed and have lost confidence in your abilities. Maybe ask a friend to do mock-interviews with you and practice talking about what you are good at, what your accomplishments at past jobs have been, so you can get refocused on what you are good at and what kind of jobs you should be looking for?

          3. Thank you so much Zora for your feedback. It helps to know other people have gone through this and are fine now!
            I’ve talked with my SO. I’ll not take that offer. I’ll take the next few months off my job hunt. I’ll get back into it after mid august when Europe gets back into business. I’ll try to recharge my batteries in the mean time. Then, as you said I’ll try to get informational interviews. I have definitely lowered my standards and will happily take a very junior/entry level position.
            Thank you for your advice. I’m sure I’ll be back with more need for help in the future. I feel calmer now and I trust I’ll be able to find something.

    2. How about expanding the search to French-speaking countries in Western Europe (Belgium, Luxembourg, Switzerland) to broaden it a bit. It will be less transport time, presumably, and/or cheaper.

  22. Help! I was just invited to dinner with the person who will be my new supervisor at the job I’ll be starting in the fall, and I can’t figure out what to wear. It’s a weekend dinner – supervisor and wife will be in the area visiting family for the day and are taking my husband and I to dinner – and the restaurant’s dress code, while technically “casual,” is less “actually what normal people call casual” and more “Hamptons-esque casual.” I don’t want to appear overdressed, since this is a social dinner and I already technically have the job, but I also don’t want to appear unprofessional, since the job hasn’t actually started yet.

    I have a mint-green, cap-sleeve lace dress that would work for the location, but doesn’t feel business-y enough for this dinner, and then a black cap-sleeve sheath dress that would work for the business-y aspect, but is definitely far more “business” than casual. Do I need to go shopping? (I’m thinking yes.) Assuming I do, any recommendations?

    1. IYou’re right, this is less business and more social given that spouses are invited, the supervisor is in the area for personal reasons, it’s a weekend. Dress appropriately for the restaurant. No need to look like you came straight from work. I wouldn’t wear a va-voom low cut dress like it is date night, but you should be able to find something that’s fun.

      1. Thanks all – the mint dress is well-lined with a lace overlay, so no “revealing” issues there, and you’ve just reminded me that I just recently bought an open-front white 3/4 sleeve blazer that would go well with it. Wardrobe crisis solved!

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