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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 189 Comments · by

Tuesday’s TPS Report: Lady jacket in blue tweed

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Lady jacket in blue tweedMaybe it's my screen, but the blue tweed just pops out at you — which, of course, I love. The black trim… the saturated indigo/sapphire colors… gorgeous. I particularly like how it's been styled with another print here: it's just a bit daring. It's $198 at J.Crew, available in sizes 00-14. Lady jacket in blue tweed Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. b23

    I’ve loved this jacket from the first moment I saw it.

    Threadjack: Any tips for St. Lucia, including things to do and (very importantly) where to eat? We’ll be in Soufriere but will have a car so I’m open to things in other areas as well. Thanks in advance!

    • Susan (edna_mode_nyc)

      Same here. That’s a gorgeous blue and I love the detailing.

      Re: St. Lucia – I’m in miser-mode and haven’t gone on a flying-distance type vacation since 2009, but I’m taking notes here. This site is a treasure trove of details on what fun things to do/eat/try while on vacation. Bon voyage!

    • LR

      I went in February and stayed at Ladera. The food there (the restaurant is Dasheene) is very good and you need to eat there at least once at sunset. The views are incredible. We barely left the resort (SO is a homebody and since you have a pool right in your room at Ladera, that’s where we hung out), but I would highly recommend checking out Diamond Falls and the botanical gardens, and the volcano tour was nice too.

      We contemplated eating at the beach at Jalousie Plantation (name is changing to Sugar Beach) since they have a cute restaurant right on the beach, but we weren’t hungry when we were there. I also wanted to try Boucan at the Hotel Chocolat but didn’t make it. I’m a little sad about that still.

      Have fun! I had a great time and would absolutely go back.

      • L

        Stayed at Ladera as well — cannot recommend it and the restaurant Dasheene highly enough. Everything was excellently prepared. If you like seafood, you will love this place, but the beef was also outrageously good.

      • ...

        Wow, $900-1400/night! It seems “worth” it in that the rooms are amazing, but holy crap that’s a lot of money.

        • LR

          Rates are actually as low as $400/night. We only spent money on airfare (Jet Blue), the resort, and food so for us, it was absolutely worth it. We wanted to hang out in a private pool in the tropics and that’s exactly what we were able to do.

          • ...

            That is WAY more reasonable. I don’t think I could justify spending a month’s mortgage payment on one night in a hotel! This place sounds bloody AMAZING; nice to know it might be within reach some day :)

  2. JessC

    Anyone have massive problems with the Ann Taylor site last night? I spent an hour trying to get an order to go through – the website kept freezing, adding/deleting stuff from my cart, etc. I gave up thinking the order didn’t go through and, lo and behold, I wake up this morning to find THREE charges from Ann Taylor to my credit card. Grrr. I’ve been on hold with their customer service for 20 minutes waiting to talk to someone…

    • KC

      Side effect of Cyber Monday, I suppose. I did most of my Christmas shopping online last night, and several sites had “Pardon the delay, we’re really busy” popups.

    • LLM in BsAs

      Yes! I was trying to get some stuff shipped to an address different that what was already registered and the site was “unable to verify the shipping address”. Ended up shipping to the original address, which also works but is not as convenient.

  3. Maru

    Sometimes when I read Kat’s comments about the “daring” nature of wearing a blue jacket with a print underneath, I like to reimagine them as read by the Dowager Countess of Downton Abbey. I mean this in the best possible way.

    • De

      I may have gone back and re-read Kat’s post imagining Granny reading it. I have to say, it added a little something extra!

      • hellskitchen

        Did you all see the Downton Abbey Revisited segment last week? They did a whole montage of Lady Violet’s best lines + sneak previews from season 3. Delicious

        • De

          I definitely need to check this out. She cracks me up all thet ime, and Maggie Smith is seriously the best person for that role!

        • mamabear

          I saw it. I fell in love with Angela Landsbury because she was clearly SO excited about hosting the show!

  4. Cb

    This is gorgeous. What do you wear with this if you don’t wear jeans/pants? Pencil skirt ok?

  5. Jacqueline

    Just got my Lo & Sons OMG bag, and I love it. So many compartments and sections and zippers! I feel so organized when I use it. Someone was asking about the size the other day — I think the OMG is about as big a bag as I’d want on my 5’3″ frame. It’s big enough to hold what I want without seeming too oversized.

    • Legally Red

      Are you using it as a work bag or more like an overnight bag? I am close to buying one but still not sure about the size for someone of my height. I think the TT would be perfect for me for work, but alas it’s sold out.

      • aw

        I’m wondering something similar. Deciding between OG and OMG for an XMas gift with a goal of using the bag for 1-2 night travel & occasionally as a work/workout bag… wondering if the OG will be too big to use occasionally for work.

        • SF Bay Associate

          I just got the OG and am in love. So many compartments!!! So lightweight!!! I plan to use it as a travel bag and maybe a gym bag just so I can use it more often. I am still slightly concerned that it’s too big to be an under-the-seat-in-front-of-you bag, but I got the dimensions from all the airlines I fly and compared it to the OG dimensions. It should fit. And several ladies here (karenpadi and I forget who else, someone who flew JetBlue with the OG) said the OG fits if not stuffed to the gills. The OG barely fits my 13″ PC laptop from work, and will also fit some files and lunch or a change of clothes. The OMG would not fit my laptop. The OG in black looks good enough to use as a professional tote when on business travel, or even while in my normal office and I’m just carrying a lot of stuff that day. It is admittedly a smidge large for a “briefcase” look, but it’s not insanely large tote sized. I wouldn’t use it as a default briefcase, which is what my Tumi is for. I’m 5’6″, FWIW.

        • karenpadi

          I keep the OG at my office and use it as a carry-on for trips where I bring my laptop. Admittedly, I think the OG is too large for daily work use. When I work from the main office (and stay in a hotel), I use the OG to haul all kinds of stuff. It’s really great then. But to work from my regular satellite office, I have a leather tote that barely fits my laptop that I use.

          My situation: Car commuter with drive to gym after work and occasionally bring leftovers for work. I’d rather stay at the office late to finish a task than go home and restart my laptop. I have been known to carry 4 bags to my car at once: purse, laptop, workout, and lunch. Most days, though, I just have my purse and my workout bag stays in the car until I get to the gym.

          I think if I moved to NYC, Boston, or DC where I had to take public transit and carry my laptop around, I’d use the OG more than I do now.

      • Jacqueline

        I’m using it as a work/gym bag. It’s perfect for that. If I were going anywhere for more than one night, I’d need another bag, but it works for one night away. It will comfortably fit a laptop, wallet/cards/keys/phone, magazines, a change of clothes, shoes, and toiletries. It’s surprisingly deep.

        • Anon

          Agreed. I have the OMG and it’s perfect for my 5’3 frame. It works wonderfully for gym/work/overnight. However, I tried to use it as my primary carryon for a long weekend and it was an extremely tight squeeze. I wished then I bought the OG, but if you’re not planning on using it for more than 2 nights, the OMG should be fine.

    • KC

      You all are awful enablers. I keep resisting buying one, but everyone is positively glowing about their bags… I don’t know how much longer I can hold out :)

      • Legally Red

        I was holding out until I saw one in the security line at the airport on Sunday…

    • AnotherLadyLawyer

      Me too! I bought the OMG (in that amazing pink!) and got it just in time to use it for holiday travel. For those contemplating OMG v. OG, if you want to use it as a proper weekend travel bag, I’d say OG. The OMG seems to be a smidge too small to really fit a weekend’s worth of stuff. But the OMG was perfect as my second carry-on, stuffed with too many electronic devices (phones, laptop, ipad, chargers), magazines, a giant stack of documents to read for work, airplane snacks and diet coke, a pair of flats, a cardigan, a scarf, and everything else that would normally live in my purse. It carried beautifully — not too heavy, used the shoulder strap which didn’t fall off the shoulder, and fit easily under the seat. And today I used it as a gym bag for the first time and it is wonderful!

      • AnotherAnnon

        I discovered Lo & Son this weekend after researching for a gym bag that I can also use as a purse on days I am going to gym after work.
        Is the OMG big enough to fit sneakers (stiff with lot of padding, cannot bend) in the shoe compartment? I hate carrying my shoes in plastic bags to and from work and my current purse is too small to hold them.
        I am petite 5’5” tall, this is what I usually pack on gym days
        1. Workout shoes, clothes (pants, t-shirt, sports br*, socks), hand towel
        2. empty water bottle
        3. Random stuff – hair brush, deo, sanitizer
        4. 1-2 light 100 pages paper back books/notebooks
        5. Small makeup bag, wallet, cell phone blackberry, keys etc.

        I am still debating between OMG or OG, mainly for after work gym bag that looks professional enough and I don’t have to carry a second purse as I commute by train and walk quite a bit. I won’t really be using it for frequent overnight/weekend trips.

        thanks for any insight/advice on this as I would like to order once I can decide the appropriate size.

        • Jacqueline

          Yes, the OMG can fit sneakers (and shower flip flops! I tested it) in the shoe compartment. They take up a lot of room, but the compartment is flexible, so you can kind of rearrange them to allow for maximum space in the rest of the bag. I think you could fit all the stuff you mentioned into the OMG. That’s what I bring to the gym, too, minus the towel and water bottle, and it all fits nicely in that bag.

          • AnotherAnnon

            Thanks Jacqueline
            Really wanted to confirm about the shoes from someone who has used it.
            On my way to ordering one !
            I love corporette hive wisdom on such stuff. So far I have bought clarisonic, nordies THE skirt, cole haan air pumps based on the recommendation here, all turned out to be great purchases.

      • SoCalAtty

        I need a bag like this – for you owners, do you think a court file would fit inside?

        • AnotherLadyLawyer

          I think a court file would fit just fine. The OMG is 16″ W x 13.5″ H x 6″ D, if that helps.

    • Naijamodel

      I keep reading OMG as “O my God”, which made me read OG as ” O God” lol

      • a.

        ………that’s not what it means?

        signed, a long-time reader of this website’s threads about these bags

        • Bette

          Ha. Same here. As if that was their first bag that all the old heads carried.

          I must say the bags seem a little less snazzy now that I know what the acronyms stand for.

          • Wayward

            If it’s any comfort, I’m pretty sure they named them so that they’d have those awesome acronyms. Overnight & medium gym? That’s pretty awkward phrasing if you’re not going for something else.

            OG all day.

    • O.

      I am getting ready to buy a carry-on and am trying to decide between the OG and the Longchamp Le Pliage Expandable Travel Bag for my underseat item. Anybody have a preference between the two? I am going on a ten-day trip and will not be checking luggage so I will have my roller bag and the OG or Le Pliage. Whichever bag I get will have to be my purse and diaper bag at my destination because I won’t have room to pack a separate purse. The bag needs to hold standard carry-on and purse stuff plus diapering gear and toys and food to keep a baby content for a cross-country flight.

      • Anon

        Does the Le Pliage travel bag have more than the one standard slip pocket? If not, I’d say hands down get the OG. Lo & Sons bags have tons of pockets and compartments for organization, so for diaper bag purposes, I think Le Pliage wouldn’t work that well (assuming it doesn’t have pockets – I have a large one that I love but the lack of organization is annoying).

        • O.

          Good point. My regular purse only has two compartments and it really gets on my nerves. But I was enticed by the larger size of the Le Pliage.

        • Almost There

          No, the Le Pliage only has one little cell phone pocket, otherwise it’s a giant black hole. Not for organizing AT ALL. Unless you have a punch of separate zip-up bags like make up bags to throw in there. D

    • Lalo

      I was just getting ready to buy the OG in purple. It’s out of stock until spring 2013!! :(

  6. Anon8

    Relationship TJ – How does one deal with their SO being a bully? My husband has a rather strong personality and when he gets mad or irritated, he just acts like a jerk. Snapping, sometimes name calling.

    I am passive-agressive and quiet by nature. When he starts in like that, I just shut down and don’t say anything. I just do what I can to diffuse the situation and “play along” so he’ll back down. I just don’t have the courage to stand up for myself and tell him not to talk to me like that.

    I internalize everything and it’s difficult for me to talk about my feelings with him.

    I know that we could use couples counseling and I know that I need to see a therapist just for myself, b/c I suffer from depression and anxiety. I’m just wondering if anyone has been in a similiar situation or has any tips for building up courage to stand up for yourself.

    • MB

      My BF is similar. When he’s upset, he can be very hotheaded – yelling, ranting, name calling etc. However, when he’s not upset, he’s pretty rational. I usually stay quiet/remove myself from the situation when he’s upset and wait to speak with him about it when he’s not upset. Also, this is probably not the best solution, but when he’s not upset, I’ve made “jokes” about him being a bully or being bossy. That way, its in the back of his mind and maybe he’ll realize that he’s being that way.

      I generally don’t stand up for myself in the moment, because it simply escalates things. I do walk away, however. Usually, I just bring a book to another room, but if its really ridiculous, I’ll go do errands or go workout and wait for him to cool down. I’ll calmly say something like, “You can’t speak to me like that” and walk away.

      • CKB

        My dh has somewhat of a temper, and I don’t like conflict. After 18 years of marriage I’ve found what works best for us is if I talk to him after he’s calmed down. “When you said x I felt y” or “You said this when you were upset, do you really feel that way?” or “I think you were hard on (or unfair to) ds (dear son) and he was upset. Maybe you should go talk to him & appologize”. He realizes after he’s calmed down that he was out of line and unreasonable. However, I’m not sure if it’s the absolute best way to deal with things, but it’s what happens in our house. Sometimes it also works when I ask him a question in such a way that he realizes he’s getting upset “Do you want to go lay down for a little bit?” or “How about I take care of the kids for a while tonight?”

      • Anon8

        Yes, I can relate to what you said about standing up for yourself escalting things b/c that has been my experience in the past.

        I haven’t tried walking away, b/c he gets angrier when I ignore him. I’ve imagined telling him that he can’t call me names or speak to me that way, but I haven’t worked up the courage to say that out loud yet.

        Thanks for the feedback.

        • MB

          I think my BF actually appreciates it when I walk away. As someone said, he doesn’t really want to say something that he regrets or is said in anger. He prefers to separate while he’s really angry. He has never once not allowed me to leave or told me to stop ignoring him. I think he knows he’s being a jerk, but has trouble controlling it.

          It would be an entirely different situation if he didn’t let me leave or came after me and got in my face. Even though he gets really mad, I’ve never really been fearful.

        • a.

          From my experience with a former BF who started to go down this road, I say you should screw up your courage, and try standing up for yourself with a calm, confident, “You may not call me names or speak to me this way. I will not continue this conversation until you stop yelling/name-calling/whatever-ing.”

          My experience was that my starting-to-try-and-bully-me BF got super-angry when I said my equivalent of that; stomped off in a huff; and then, the next time we saw each other, when he’d had time to cool off, apologized and said that he understood why I was standing up for myself. And the quasi-bullying behavior stopped immediately. So I mean, maybe that’s unusual, but I think it’s worth telling your boyfriend upfront that this kind of behavior will not fly in the future.

        • angeleno

          I think sometimes people have different ways of dealing with conflict, and for some people it is more helpful to put it all out there and then they get over it faster. My SO hates when I walk away, and I think actually prefers me to let him know how I feel right then and there, so he can get mad back and get it all out, and it blows over much more quickly. I have the avoid-conflict-at-all-costs instinct as well, but I have learned how to stand up for myself without totally losing my emotional control (i.e., sobbing). I mean, if he calls you names, you should be able to say right then and there, “that’s mean, it’s not okay for you to call me names.”

      • Ellen

        Mine was a drunk who got surley when he had to much to drink. Now I am very careful before deceiding to date someone. He must 1) have a job; 2) not drink; 3) be very attentive to me and MY needs and 4) not want me to cook for him all the time. These standard’s were agreed upon in a MOU between me and my dad and the manageing partner, who watche’s over me while at work.

        So the manageing partner said that MADELINE does not want to deal with Jim. FOOEY! That leave’s it up to me unless I can get her to change her mind. Mabye I should tell her he is a big steak eater, b/c she like’s to go to Morton’s. I have to find out if there is a MORTON’s in Saint Louis. If YES, mabye I could get her to go and take Jim. Does the hive have any other idea’s? B/c I do NOT want to waste alot of time with Jim, even if I am billeing PORTAL TO PORTAL.

    • rtg

      I don’t have any specific advice (and I don’t want to jump to conclusions based on a short few paragraphs), but I do want to tell you to hang in there. I think that seeing a therapist yourself would be helpful for talking through what’s really going on and why you have trouble standing up for yourself.

      The one story I do want to share is that your situation sounds like one I had with an ex-BF. He was actually pretty nice/easygoing most of the time, but he had a temper that could just snap. It was a few months before I first saw it (in front of friends of ours, and directed at them). I didn’t see that as a red flag and in the weeks and months afterward his anger would often result in lots of name calling. Eventually it turned physical, and I left him right away. I just wish I had paid attention before it got that far. There isn’t enough in your post to know what’s really going on. I just want to share and encourage you to take care of yourself.

      • rtg

        Oh, I should add, my DH also can have a temper. But I learned early on in our relationship what it means to know how to handle it (and that it’s his responsibility). As soon as he starts to feel himself get upset, he asks if he can remove himself from the situation until he calms down. He will not continue a conversation/argument if he thinks he might say something hurtful when he is upset. It’s a world of difference. In seven years together he’s said something unnecessarily hurtful only once when he had had waaaaaaay too much to drink, and he apologized for days afterward (and refused to blame the alcohol for having used a mean/disrespectful word).

        I don’t know where DH learned to manage his temper (he didn’t got to therapy, I know that), but I just want to share so you know that just because some people have short fuses doesn’t mean they can’t help the way they treat you.

        • MOlaw

          I agree with everything that rtg said.

          If your SO has a temper, then he should manage it. He is an adult and should be able to tell when he is getting angry. When he’s getting angry he should say something and do what he needs to do to calm down. He shouldn’t just yell and name call while you figure out how to deal with it or leave.

          When he is calm and you two aren’t fighting, you should talk about this. Not in an accusatory way, but in a “let’s come up with a system for disagreeing with each other that supports our needs” way. When my fiancé and I get into heated arguments, we stop, take some time apart, calm down and actually figure out what’s bothering us, both apologize for getting upset, and have a rational talk. Your husband should be able to do something like that with you.

          • Anon8

            I agree that he needs to manage his anger. I know he’s not perfect and things are going to irriate and annoy him, but I believe he has a choice in how to deal with it.

            My biggest beef is with the way he says things. If there’s something I do that bothers him, he can say it in a nice way rather than being mean about it. I’ve mentioned it before in passing, but I haven’t reiterated it lately.

        • anon for this

          I am the one with the temper in my relationship so maybe I can give perspective. My H is more likely to be passive aggressive and hold a grudge for long periods and make little snide comments. Me, I’d rather get it all out in the open and off my chest and if it takes yelling and screaming so be it. When grievances are sufficiently aired and its out of my system, I move on really quickly. Sometimes you see little kids in the playground who fight and then the next thing you know they are best friends. That is me. It drives me nuts to consider myself over the argument and then have H bring it up in snippy little comments often disguised as jokes (i.e. I would consider the joking comment posted above about being a bully to be a snippy comment especially if it is DAYs after the argument).

          As rtg posts, if the person with a temper can count to 10 or remove self it does help so that when they are getting what they need off their chests, they are doing it calmly and not name-calling. I need to have things resolved so I can move on. Also, I tend to let things that bug me build up and something will set me off. So now I just try to calmly state what’s bothering me. I.e. see sock on ground, fume about it and say nothing, then blow up after something else vs. see sock on ground, ask, can you pick that up please, move on. Getting plenty of exercise also helps me “blow off steam.”

          • Anon8

            Thanks for the other perspective. I am definitely passive agressive but tend to really internalize things and don’t even make the snide comments. However, over the years this has built up a lot of anger and resentment within me.

            I am glad to hear that you try to calmly state what is bothering you. That would be a huge help if my husband did that for me.

            When you’re upset, does it make you angrier when your H shuts down during an argument? Would you feel better if you got some kind of reaction out of him?

          • Susan (edna_mode_nyc)

            re: “When you’re upset, does it make you angrier when your H shuts down during an argument? Would you feel better if you got some kind of reaction out of him?”

            I tend to be the one who gets angry quickly, wants to blow off steam and forgets it quickly. No grudge-holding, no passive-aggressive stuff from me. But lots of fireworks when I’m in the midst of it.

            But I recognized that when I push someone to try to continue an argument with me, I’m being a controlling bully– I’m effectively saying, “the conversation is not over until I say it’s over.” It’s also diva behavior saying, “you have to prioritize what I prioritize and react the way I want you to.” It’s taken a lot of years of aging and introspection to not do that in a relationship, but again, I’ll say the responsibility was 100% on me. Don’t let your DH off the hook or try to pretend it’s your fault.

            Shutting down temporarily to avoid escalating is an appropriate thing, and even though I don’t like it when my DH does it, I accept it. To be fair, he never tries to escape the topic at hand. He’ll return to it later, calmly, and with some very good points, so I have always respected his approach even if it feels completely unnatural to me.

          • anon for this

            I have had to make an effort to be calmer. I come from a long line of plate throwers. Its funny when you describe it that way, but I don’t want to be like that with kids if/when we have them. To answer the question: My H is infuriatingly calm and does not engage when I yell which yeah, kinda bothers/bothered me, but it had the effect of me reigning myself in because what is the point of not getting a response. I’m not sure I would say he shuts down, just stays calm and sits there and may offer a few words but doesn’t yell back.

            I mostly echo what Susan says. And agree that your dh can and should take steps to control his temper.

        • Anon8

          Thanks for the encouragement. There is nothing physical. He just gets very irritated and talks in a mean tone of voice. He’s called me a dumb-a$$ a couple of times. It makes me very angry and upset. I hate that when I get angry I immediately start to cry so that makes it hard for me to feel like I’m standing up for myself or being firm.

          • a.

            Crying is not a sign of weakness. It is a physiological reaction to certain stressors. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and there is no reason you should feel like you can’t stand up for yourself or be firm just because your tear ducts are activated.

          • eek

            No no no no no! That is completely unacceptable. You need to find your voice and it doesn’t matter if he says “I don’t mean that; you know I don’t mean that.” It doesn’t matterm it was said. I have been called names before – “stupid” comes to mind and it’s really hurtful and not how I communicate. Emotional abuse can really mess with your brain and sense of self. Good luck.

          • Meg Murry

            After a few name calling incidents, I had a talk with my husband (later, after he had cooled down) and told him it was not acceptable. For me, saying “You are a xxx” or “You are xxx” (dumb-a$$, b!tch, brat, stupid, etc) is never ok. However, “stop acting like a xxx” or “You are being really xxx right now” is borderline ok with me – probably because we uses it rarely, and when it is, its usually true, I am usually doing something stupid, bratty or b!tchy (or vice versa), and need to be called out on it.

            My husband thought I was being oversensitive about it when I first pointed it out, but he has changed the language/phrasing, and just that subtle change has really changed how we argue – from hitting a hot button issue of mine (being insulted as a terrible person) to pointing out rude/immature/inconsiderate behavior without insulting the other person back.

            Another thing we discuss was the mom/coworker test – would you call your mom, or coworker that (dumb-a$$, etc)? If not, don’t call me that either – its not acceptable. Now if he WOULD call his mom or coworker that, then he may have anger issues that he needs to deal with, as that isn’t going to serve him well in live.

        • Susan (edna_mode_nyc)

          Heartily seconded. It is 100% his responsibility to control himself.

    • anonforthis

      Seems to me you shouldn’t have to have courage to stand up to your SO… seems like the problem here is him, not you. Though I think it’s good you’re seeking therapy- he’s the one who has the immediate problem here and he needs to address it asap.

    • AIMS

      I don’t want to read in too much into your question. For my two cents, being passive aggresive is no better than having a temper – both are things that are unproductive and need to be managed. I think therapy is probably a good idea.

      Since you asked about specific management tips though, I will share. My ex was somewhat similar – very explosive temper (though never violent), could call you names at the drop of a hat, say rash things, quick to anger, etc. Fighting with him by yelling back never worked nor passively sitting there while he yelled. What worked was treating him somewhat like you would treat a five year old throwing a temper tantrum. Not condescending. Calm but stern voice, “You’re being irrational right now. I am not going to talk about this until you calm down and we can discuss this like adults.” If the situation calls for specifics, throw those in. For instance, a few times early on I was at his apartment when we got into fights in the middle of the night. He would tell me to get out. The first time I was shocked that anyone could behave in such a way. I think I left and sat in a coffeeshop crying or something ridiculous. The second time, I just said, “No. It’s 3:30 in the morning, I have no intention of putting myself in harm’s way by going home at such a late hour. I will leave in the morning.” And I repeated this until it sank in, calmly and as often as needed. It’s obviously not a perfect solution but it was an imperfect situation and I must say that it did work over time and we fought much less.

      • Anon8

        Yes, I agree that being passive-agressive is not good. Ideally, I’d like to be able to calmly and rationally talk about my feelings, but it’s difficult to do that with him. Therapy is definitely something I’m seriously considering.

        I think based on your’s and others feedback, I will try being calm during the situation and trying to talk to him once he’s not angry any more.

    • Praxidike

      I am the person like your SO in my relationship (aggressive, can speak hurtfully if I am upset and not considering what I’m saying) and my husband is like you (passive-aggressive or sometimes just plain passive). I manage my temper. I know when I’m getting upset/irritated and if I can’t take a deep breath and calm down, I walk away. And I will say to him, “I am really upset right now, and I need to take a break.” He understands.

      When people say they can’t manage their tempers, I think it’s a weak justification for not having the self-control and desire to do so. He can manage it. He SHOULD manage it without you saying anything. But since he’s not, I think it’s fair for you to say something to him about it.

      As for therapy, it did both me and my husband (and our relationship) a world of good. Can’t recommend it highly enough.

    • Joanie

      I think that if you are not fearful for your safety then you should stand up to him. A bully enjoys making people feel small and so I would call him out, at that moment, when he calls you a name or speaks cruelly to you. The flip side though is that you must be willing to leave if he does not stop, otherwise there is no reason for him to. He is an adult and barring some sort of untreated mental illness, he can control his behavior. Does he act like this in the workplace, does he yell at his boss or clients? Call them names? Probably not, right? I really believe that you teach people how to treat you. You, thus far, have taught him that this behavior is acceptable. Now it’s time to teach him that it is not–by calmly but firmly standing up for yourself.

      • Anon8

        Excellent point about the fact that I’ve taught him that his behavior is acceptable. He’s never had any reprecussions for acting the way he has. That helps me see things from a different perspective and in a way, feels like I have some control over the situation.

        • Lizbet

          There’s a book called “The Verbally Abusive Relationship” that was a real eye-opener for me. I hated it when someone suggested it to me — I don’t like to think of myself as abused, verbally or not. But it perfectly described my ex’s behaviors that had been making me feel crazy and belittled, and offered some specific strategies for coping with the different forms of attack. Highly recommend.

    • e_pontellier

      I am so much like this and my DH can be the way you describe. Everyone on here knows allllllllllll about my relationship challenges. I’m doing a whole lot better now; therapy is CRUCIAL and has given me the strength to start standing up to DH. He’s responding pretty well. If you want to talk more (or if I can buy you a drink! Are you in NYC?), you can reach me at e.pontellier.re t t e [at] gmail [dot] com. Hugs.

      • Susan (edna_mode_nyc)

        Hey there e,
        I’m glad things are getting better for you. I, like many others here, have been both worried about you and outraged on your behalf– you deserve better and here’s hoping you and your DH get to “better.” *hugs*

        • e_pontellier

          Thank you so much Susan. The good news about getting an internship and a job has given me a bit more energy for my relationship, and I think we’re finally on our way to “better” even if right now it’s not the best.

      • Anon8

        e – Glad to hear you are doing better and the fact that DH is responding. I’m not on in NYC, but thanks so much for the offer to talk more!

    • Anon8

      Thanks to everyone for the feedback and support. I really appreciate the advice. This gives me some courage to help stand up for myself. Thanks!!

  7. Molly Porter

    I am a big J.Crew fan from wayback, but I see this style knocked off so frequently, I just can’t bear to wear it. And it’s a knockoff to begin with. The faux Chanel look just strikes me as silly a lot of the time and kind of costume-y – unless you have a regal bearing and a little age on you.

    • MB

      I tried on the pink “Lady” jacket in double serge wool a few weeks ago. It is bright pink and has navy trim and gold buttons. It was absolutely gorgeous, but I felt very costume-y in it. I just didn’t think it worked for me at this age and station in life.

    • ss

      I have a little age on me (early 40s) and can’t wear these boxy lady-like Chanel-esque jackets except casually with jeans. The full suit seems simultaneously dowdy and costume-y. But I do have a more modern version (navy-on-navy silk tweed, 3/4 sleeves, 4 pockets, but no trim, no logo buttons) and find this much more wear-able.

    • KC

      I don’t think I could pull off the full suit, but I imagine it as Susan described, with either slim jeans or leather pants to play up the juxtaposition of ladylike and edge.

      • style advice needed...

        Last week I saw a woman dressed just like this…. A Chanel-esque blazer (maybe real?), skinny jeans with nice leather riding boots, and a few pieces of expensive looking jewelry.

        You were drawn to her… but actually, not in a great way. She looked expensive, but the look aged her. I actually wanted to stop her and ask… “Why are you wearing your grandmother’s clothes?”

  8. Anon

    Can anyone recommend a website for unemployed law grads to vent? Feeling really sorry for myself today.

    • SunnyD

      You wouldn’t be the first (or the last) person to vent here.

      Sorry you’re having a rough time.

    • De

      I don’t have any thing that I can say that will make you feel better, obviously, but there are quite a few of us on here that either have expressed similar feelings as law grads, or their SO’s are in similar positions, or that used to be in a similar position. You want to vent, we can listen :)

      • rosie

        Yes, ditto this (and what SunnyD said). Sorry you’re down today, and vent away if it might help.

    • Bewitched

      Sorry as well. No recs on websites but just an FYI, NYS Bar Assn is having a free informational webcast on 12/4 entitled: How to Find Your First Legal Job After Law School. More info available on their website. Best of luck to you.

    • Anon

      I have a scientific background (unfortunately not in engineering and no phd), t1 law school, graduated middle of my class with a strong upward trend in my grades. I’m just really depressed that I can’t find any work. I see myself as a very curious person and a very hard worker. I had some great mentors in my internships in law school who were really rooting for me and said that I would be just fine.

      I’m not sure what I am doing wrong. I’m not limiting myself to just attorney positions. Since graduation, I have only applied to about 65 jobs so maybe I haven’t sent out enough applications. I am working in retail right now so that I can afford to buy groceries and pay rent. I keep getting emails from my loan servicer that my payments will be due soon and I think it is triggering an even more intense sadness than I’ve had since graduation. I feel like it’s all over. The next class will be graduating in December so I feel like my chance of having a career at all is over.

      I just made another appointment to see career services and maybe they can give me the guidance I need. I’ve been putting off making another appointment because I don’t want to cry in their office. It is my fault that I am in this situation and I shouldn’t feel entitled to a job. I am so ashamed.

      • De

        Please, please do not feel ashamed. You are totally not alone. I graduated from a not great but OK school, upward trend in my grades as well, strong resume as far as awards and work experience, and I had to take a non-lawyer job. I’m still searching for something else, and it’s really, really tough out there. And you know what? I have a retail job I work on the weekends to try to keep my head above water. So does my BFF who’s practicing.
        As far as the loan service providers, get in touch with them and talk about your situation, they work with you, especially if you have FedLoan.
        One thing I’ve started to try to give myself a little extra oomph when I apply, I started volunteering for a pro bono program. Are you licensed? Try looking on your judicial branch’s website to see if they have a pro bono directory, that might help with networking/building experience, and if nothing else, at least brighten your spirit.

      • e_pontellier

        Listen. This is not your fault. This is a horrible economy and you’ve done the best you can. Keep your chin up!! We’re here for you, rooting for you, and if you can tell us what city you’re in, there are some fabulous women here who have helped me find a summer job. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, but there is absolutely no reason to be ashamed. (sorry if this was harsh)

      • Eleanor

        I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Please try to remember that this is not a reflection on you: the economy is terrible, and even if it weren’t your value does not come from your job or career. You have no reason at all to feel ashamed – it sounds like you went to a good school and worked hard – young lawyers are just in a really bad situation.

        Without minimizing how much being unemployed stinks, can you think about some things that are good in your life? I’m sure you have people who love you for who you are, not for your employment status, and that you contribute to other people or the world in some way.

        Good luck in your search, and post here when you get frustrated; many of us have been there.

      • Sydney Bristow

        Don’t be ashamed! I could have written your exact post at the beginning of 2012.

        Do you live in a bigger city? Have you considered or tried to get a document review gig? Honestly, it sucks, but making enough money to comfortably pay your bills is so amazing for self-esteem. If you’re in NYC, I can give you the names of some agencies to register with. Either way, if you’re interested in doing doc review and have any questions, just let me know.

      • Darby

        I echo the others – don’t feel bad or ashamed, your situation is unfortunately too common these days. One suggestion, have you tried to get contract or temp legal work? A lot of my law school friends ended up finding permanent jobs through these positions (sometimes directly where they turned into jobs, more often indirectly by forming relationships w/ the recruiters for this kind of work who also had leads on other permanent jobs). Best of luck to you.

      • LovesPatentLawNotPatentLeather

        2011 grad here, so I know how you feel. Even though you dont have an engineering background, have you taken the patent bar? Doing that may make you feel like you are actually doing something. Do you attend CLEs? Bar association or other network meetings? Have you applied for clerkships? Keep your chin up. Something will work out.

        • Anon

          Thank you everyone for your helpful and kind words!

          I’ve passed the patent bar and am licensed to practice in my state. I could definitely see myself as a patent paralegal, but I haven’t had any luck with the firms or pharma companies to which I’ve applied.

          Unfortunately, the midwestern city I live in is not large enough for there to be a lot of temp or contract work.

          I haven’t done any CLE, but am now looking into some free or affordable CLE in my state.

          I am also going to look more into pro bono work. I figured I wouldn’t be eligible to do any pro bono work because I don’t have enough experience and cannot afford some of the training program CLEs. I think I just need to spend more than 10 minutes glancing at my state’s pro bono page.

          Thanks again!

          • Lyssa

            My state’s legal aide (and I believe other states have this as well) has a program which matches inexperienced lawyers with experienced “mentors” – the idea is that they can assign a pro bono case to an inexperienced lawyer who wants to gain some experience in that field, who will do the heavy lifting, but also assign an experienced one to be a reference and helper (but not necessarily have to do a lot of work). I think that it’s a great program, and it can be really helpful both to gain experience and to meet more attorneys who might have job leads (definitely offer to take the experienced attorney to lunch to get to know about his/her practice).

            Definitely look to see if your state has something like that. And if it doesn’t, maybe you can try to start one?

          • Anon

            What city are you in? If you’re in DFW, I’d love to buy you a drink and chat.

          • karenpadi

            So you have the patent bar and I’m guessing, a BS or MS in Bio/Chem/Pharma?

            I can see where you are having trouble finding a job. Truth is, none of the PhDs in those fields can find post-doc positions and flood the patent market.

            If you are interested in patent, you have two options (realistically): 1) apply to smaller patent firms that don’t get the flood of PhDs. You’ll end up doing a lot of software-stuff (my favorite) but I can see why some people avoid it at all costs). 2) Do patent litigation. This is more of a long shot than it used to be because of the PhDs in the patent groups who don’t have enough work to make their hours.

      • C

        Is your background in the biological sciences or some other sciences that will qualify you to take the patent bar? Are you interested in patent law? If so, think about taking and passing the patent bar. Even if the market is lean for patent prosecutors, there are non-attorney options (patent paralegal, etc.) available.

  9. anon

    Does anyone know of any good maternity fashion blogs or websites? I’ve done some googling but haven’t really found anything. Thanks!

  10. zora

    I’ll be in the air today, so won’t be able to chat, but just want to say I’ve missed all of you while I’ve been busy w family stuff this wkend! also the woman in front of me boarding has the cutest green cable knit sweater and comfy looking brown ankle boots. so jealous cuz I’m a shlumpy mess ;-)
    see you all tomorrow!

      • KC

        Exactly what I was about to say. And if you’re comfy, even better! Have a safe flight :)

    • SunnyD

      What did you end up doing with the recyling bin by the mailboxes? (yes, this is clearly the most pressing concern I have today :) ).

    • Susan (edna_mode_nyc)

      Have a great flight, dear. And like the others, I’m sure you look fine. At least, you’ll be comfy!

  11. AEK

    PSA: Land’s End is having a bonus sale day today. Everything is 30% off and free shipping over $50. I just ordered a down coat… having woken up to 20-degree temps and realized that last season’s coat has a busted zipper. Brr.

  12. NOLA

    I know I’ve been hard on my SO here at times, so I want to say something nice about him this morning. He regularly just looks at me and smiles and I’m always asking him what he’s thinking. So last night, he was doing that and I asked him and he had hidden a card under my pillow. On the envelope he had written, “The answer to your question.” The card inside said “Every time I look at you, I think about how much I love you… that’s why I’m always looking at you.” I wanted to cry!

    • momentsofabsurdity

      Aw! So sweet. (I am also super guilty of the “What?” when a dude is just staring at me…”)

    • Susan (edna_mode_nyc)

      That’s really sweet. He sounds like a good guy, and I’m glad he makes you happy. :-)

      I just caught up on your pointy-haired boss saga and my goodness, that’s awful. And the flu, and your SO moving– yikes. So much to worry about.

      Here’s hoping you recover quickly and fully from the flu!

      • NOLA

        Thanks, Susan. I’m feeling better about the boss thing. My colleague came back today after stomach flu (he’s making all of us sick) and three of us had a good strategy meeting. We’re doing what we can at this point, strategizing about how to get him to work with us, and also strategizing about what to do if things go south.

  13. EC MD

    Thanks everyone who gave ideas for Twin Cities food delivery options. I really appreciate the help!

  14. KSW

    Any ideas on where to find men’s big and tall size suits that aren’t crazy expensive? I’ve checked JC Penney and Kohls, but neither one has the matching pants and jacket in the sizes I need. Looking for a Christmas gift for DH! Thanks.

    • Joanie

      Men’s warehouse, if you have one near you. Quality is not like Brooks Brothers or the like, but is decent enough.

        • WriterKate

          I think I am probably late to this but Men’s Wearhouse, though it can be high. But the usually have good sales. My DH is 6’4″ and this is about the only place that isn’t insanely expensive to get suits for him. He is tall with broad shoulders and wide hips though so at many places the tall sizes are long enough but too tight for him to feel comfortable.

    • JT

      DH just bought a suit from Joseph A. Banks to be a groomsman in a friend’s wedding. i think the whole thing came out to $109 (and I am super jealous he got a suit for that little). He’s not particularly big or tall, just has a crazy broad chest and has to get the jacket and pants tailored like crazy, but they seemed to have a good selection in the big and tall section.

    • mamabear

      tan only, sizes 9 and smaller. you have to go through the lightning deals to see the price

    • Lady Harriet

      6pm also still has Frye on sale for up to 75% off. They extended all their sales from yesterday through tomorrow.

  16. anon

    If anyone can recommend long sleeved shirts that work under fitted suit jackets, please post! Everything I have is short sleeved and it’s getting cold here!

  17. style advice needed...

    Wondering if you guys could share some of your secrets/tips for keeping your clothes looking great for as long as possible … especially if you have inexpensive tricks!

    Things that I have been doing lately…..

    I found a “de-piller” at my parent’s house that is easily 40 years old. I have touched up many sweaters/coats that were looking worse for wear. It is amazing! I also have used a disposable razor in a pinch, that works ok too.

    I finally gathered together the basics for doing day to day shoe care – Mr. Leather shoe cleaner/conditioner, basic shoe polishes, mink oil, brush/rags, and a suede leather protector. My shoes look great!

    I have stopped using the normal cycle on my washing machine for anything but sheets/towels. Use the permanent press for all clothing, and delicate cycle for most. Do you guys have a favorite detergent you use for your clothes, that is also not very expensive?

    Recently I was reading that dry cleaning too often can also wear/change your clothes. I took out the iron from the deep freeze, bought a cheap over the door mini ironing board and will try to do more “touch ups” between dry cleanings.

    Would appreciate hearing any of your tricks…

    • Molly Porter

      I 100% agree that cleaning will destroy your clothes. That is why the bulk of my wardrobe is wool separates (wool cleans itself!) and simple polyester blouses/shells that hold up well in the wash, plus Brooks Brothers non-iron shirts. I try to enliven things with jewelry, etc.

      • mamabear

        Agree on the wool. I wear a lot of wool crepe and wool gabardine. I don’t get it cleaned unless absolutely necessary. A good swipe with a lint brush can wipe away most spots.

        I also hand wash just about every wool item that is not lined. So any unlined skirts or pants, sweaters, boiled wool. I handwash and line dry it all. It is much fresher that way. Dry cleaning does something nasty to sweaters. Cashmere sweaters actually look much nicer after a soak because the fiber “blooms” and gets softer.

      • style advice needed...

        Great advice. What do you mean “wool cleans itself”?

        I actually can’t wear wool much because I itch like crazy…. even with cashmere. Always looking for synthetics that look nice. Cotton/silk blends tend to lose their shape for me so quickly…

    • Jacqueline

      Great ideas!

      I hand wash as much as possible. A lot of cardigans and lighter sweaters say they are machine washable on the gentle cycle, but I’ve found that they last much longer when I hand wash and air dry.

    • SJ

      Does anyone own a steamer? I’ve been toying with the idea of getting one since I swear online sellers are now pressing the folds into clothes I’ve bought and I’m having to very aggressively iron them out before I can wear my new stuff.

      • Miss A

        I steam EVERYTHING. Jiffy 2000. It was $150 when I bought it and $125 when I told my friend to get it. Steaming works great for silk/wool/polyester etc.

        I only take things to cleaners if I sweat in it/it gets dirty, but given that my office is kept at 60 degrees and I’m usually wearing a shirt/tights underneath, I don’t actually need to dry clean things. (Perhaps this isn’t for those with that sweating issue, since I also don’t wear deodorant…)

        • eek

          I have this steamer; just ordered it about 6 weeks ago and it replaced my 10 yr old Conair steamer.

      • Herbie

        I bought a Jiffy steamer off Amazon. LIFE. CHANGER. I steam everything except button-down shirts now. So much faster and easier than ironing.

      • Lady Harriet

        I have a cheap (less than $20) steamer which also doubles as a miniature iron and I really like it. I bought it after hearing so many people rave about their steamers here a couple of months ago. It’s not as powerful as a more expensive steamer probably would be and the water tank needs to be refilled really often, but it’s adequate for my needs. I use it for things that aren’t ultra-wrinkled or things that I’m worried might be damaged by an iron. It’s also good for something like a jacket that would be difficult to iron because of the shape. Ironing does work better for something that is severely creased, though.

        My standards aren’t super high, since before I had the steamer I never ironed anything anyway. I also never dry clean anything. I will machine or hand wash most dry clean clothing and then air dry. For lined jackets I use Woolite carpet cleaner on any spills/stains, since I don’t trust those to the washer. I probably wouldn’t try washing wool, but none of my wool things have gotten dirty enough to worry about it yet. I get almost all of my clothes second hand, so I don’t want to pay more for dry cleaning a garment than I paid for it in the first place.

    • ss

      Posting late but adding another idea on top of hand-washing etc – I like to give my jackets and coats a good strong dose of sunshine every few weeks to freshen up and eliminate smells. I turn them inside out so that it’s the lining and arms in the sun. This usually gets me through a season and then I do 1 round of dry-cleaning and pack them away until the next year.

  18. 3L non law

    I am currently a 3L who has decided to try and pursue an alternative legal career. I am very interested in government contracting. The area where I live and is very military and defense oriented. A lot of the professional jobs here involve that in some way. I have started doing a little research on my own, but am coming up pretty empty for JD specific advice, and career services at my top 30 school is not great.

    I would *love* to work for the federal government as a contract specialist of some sort. I know these jobs are very, very hard to come by. I hope to spend a lot of time over Christmas break researching this, but besides googling I don’t even know where to begin. Most of my internships I have gotten by networking, and I am under the impression that it doesn’t work as well for these positrons, am I right? Does anyone have any tips for me?

    • rosie

      I really don’t know much about this field, but my suggestion is have you thought about being a contracts lawyer for the government? I would guess that nearly all federal agencies have general lawyers in their general counsel offices that don’t touch the substantive statutes the agency implements but work on all the contracts.

      • 3L non law

        It is my understanding those are even more difficult to get, but I will keep that in mind while I am researching!

    • Legally Red

      Remember that companies that get govt contracts also have contracts specialists of their own, so think about expanding your search to those organizations, too.

      • 3L non law

        Thanks for your response. My husband works in this field in the private sector (though not as an attorney or contract specialist), so I am pursuing this avenue as well. The reason I am soliciting advice on the government side of things is because all of our contacts and experience are with the private sector and so I’m lost at how to break in to government work. I think at this stage I’d prefer government work, as well, but know it is probably easier to get a job in the private sector.

      • Anastasia

        Ditto this, is there a reason you want to work on the federal government side instead of for the contractor directly? If you are in a military/defense-centric place, there are at least 5-10 very large defense contractors and countless midsize to small ones… all of them need contract specialists. In fact, I work for a major defense contractor and my contract/project manager is a JD. Not my field, though, so unfortunately I don’t have much advice to offer.

        • 3L non law

          I would prefer government mostly for the benefits, hours, etc. Putting in the kind of time my husband does at this point is not feasible or realistic for me. I have a health problem that makes having benefits and a very regimented work schedule important (another one of the many, many reasons I don’t want to go into law).

          Unfortunately it seems as though probably 75% of the defense contracting jobs around here are IT related, or at least the ones that are available right now, but I will keep looking. I don’t want to go with my husband’s company because I think it would be bad to put all of our eggs in one basket, so to speak, and again because of the hours and culture where he is.

          I know one of my adjunct professors was involved in this at one time so I am hoping to get a meeting with him to discuss any tips he might have, but I was hoping one of my fellow ‘rettes might know!

    • Not a Fed

      Consider joining an MWBE company or starting your own – many government agencies look to diversify their contracts.

      • 3L non law

        I have considered this, but I am really looking for full-time, reliable employment at the moment. I need benefits and a steady paycheck. I hope to open my own business someday (though probably not in government contracting), but now is not the right time for our family.

    • eek

      Are you in the DC area? People I know that don’t have enough “points” don’t even look at fed jobs. I think poster Kontractor said that even as a military spouse, that didn’t give her enough points to help. As always, it helps to know someone to see what the funding situation is like and if there are any positions opening up in their organization. I’d ask around to see what the agency’s culture is like – some are notorious for being disasters, some are better at recognizing talent, etc. I agree that you’re probably better off going private; also, it’s not unheard of for gov’t clients to cherry pick from the private sector so if you make a good name for yourself and have a good working relationship with the client it’s possible you could lateral into a gov’t position.

      • Anonymous

        I have heard this, as well. I am not in DC, but I am in probably one of the largest military/defense areas in the country. I know several people in one of my classes in law school last year ended up with government jobs and that is why I started looking. Unfortunately I don’t remember their names and career services is useless. Also, I don’t know anyone on the government side of things so I don’t have anyone to ask around, which is why I am on here! I was hoping someone might be able to direct me to a resource or where to start looking online. I have read lots of the message boards but none of it has any advice that is JD specific which I’d like to find.

  19. Almost There

    Another thank-you card question….

    I’m doing an unpaid externship for credit this semester, working full time in an office as if I were a staff member. My time is almost up. I have pretty much only worked with one person. What is appropriate to give her when I leave? Just a nice thank you card? Some small gift? Nothing? Any tips appreciated, thanks!

    • mascot

      A short handwritten note would be perfectly fine and probably much appreciated.

    • Godzilla

      You don’t have to do anything but if you like, maybe go out to lunch together during your last week?

      • Almost There

        Thanks – we haven’t ever gone out to lunch together, so it might be weird to start now?

        • Godzilla

          Whoops, not every day, just one time. I generally treat interns to a lunch in the beginning and end of their time with me.

  20. Coalea

    Ugh, as if I didn’t hate my job enough, I’ve just been informed that a new employee is starting soon and we will have to share a (small) cubicle!

    Please send me good vibes for the two positions I’m currently pursuing!!!

    • Susan (edna_mode_nyc)

      >>>>good vibes>>>>>

      Here’s hoping you get both and have your pick.

      And, in the interim, here’s hoping the new employee is nice, hard-working, and has no annoying habits whatsoever. ;-)

    • De

      Not only am I sending you good vibes, but now I’ve got the Beach Boys “goooood goooooood goooood good vibrations!” song stuck in my head, and I’m dedicating it to you :)

      • Meg Murry

        Ugh, I read this at a glance and didn’t realize it stuck, but I’ve been sitting at my desk for the last 15 minutes with doo-be-doo-be-doo doo doo doo stuck in my head and I wondered where it came from! Gah! Off to find some classical Pandora in the hopes of banishing this from my brain so it isn’t stuck on repeat all day.

    • hellskitchen

      Sharing a cubicle??? That IS crazy. Sending you lots of good vibes. Invest in a good pair of headphones and make sure the other person doesn’t assume that sharing a cubicle means s/he can interrupt you any time. Good luck!

  21. Sizing on this jacket?

    Does anyone own this or a similar jacket? Can you speak to sizing? I am between two sizes in jcrew jackets, depending on the cut. This looks boxy, I’m tempted to order the smaller size, unless it already runs on small? Thanks in advance!

    • Miss A

      I own a similar and am going to keep an eye on this one. I have found the sizing very forgiving in these jackets…(esp if you don’t feel like buttoning them up). I feel like their jackets are not subject to as much vanity sizing as their no 2 pencil skirts.

    • e_pontellier

      I own a similar jacket (in black and white tweed – love it!). I found it was a bit big around, but really looks the way a jacket is supposed to look. Not quite as fitted as a suit jacket, but it’s not supposed to be. Also, I found the sleeves and body were short. Then again, I’m 6′ tall so the length (or lack thereof) is to be expected.

  22. Nonny

    Good morning ladies!

    I have just gotten slammed at work (actually, it’s a good thing because my hours for November have been down a bit), so won’t be on here a whole lot over the next few days, but I have a question.

    My BF is a dental hygienist, so his time off is pretty much pre-determined by when his clinic is closed – which is normally for two weeks at the end of July/early August, and then for two more weeks around Christmas. Apart from that, he only gets 1 paid week of vacation time every year.

    I am an inveterate traveller. I hate spending vacation time at home. I get 4 weeks of paid vacation each year, and I like to take it in the off-season – so March/April or September/October, with a couple of days around Christmas as well. I can’t stand travelling when everyone and their dog is there too.

    Now that we have merged households, I find myself having to deal with this non-matching vacation situation. Obviously I don’t want to insist on BF taking extra time off that he doesn’t get paid for, but at the same time I am having a really difficult time stomaching the idea of travelling in July when all the prices are at their highest, etc. I know that BF and I are going to have to resolve this in a way that works for both of us, but I am curious – is anyone else in this sort of situation in their household, and how have you dealt with it?

    Thank you!

    • Godzilla

      Would you rather save money/convenience or vacation with the BF? I know you want both but I think you’re going to have compromise your vacation schedule in this scenario. As someone with an extremely flexible vacation schedule, I tend to work around my family’s vacation restrictions.

    • Em

      Have you thought about traveling off-season? I’ve had great luck going to, for instance, Central America in the summer and Iceland in the winter. In the former case, it’s a bit rainier and a bit hotter than it would be at other times, and it’s not a break from the weather back home, but you do get great prices and to see things without the crowds. In the latter case, yeah it was a bit cold and dark, but also unearthily beautiful at much, much cheaper prices. I suspect there are a lot of places where off-season travel can be feasible that way.

  23. Aria

    I’m throwing a 30th birthday party in Palm Springs and was hoping for suggestions. Any good caterers you know of? Any houses you’ve rented in Palm Springs that you would recommend for a big group? Any not-to-be-missed activities there in February? TIA!

  24. anon

    Any recommendations for getting sunscreen out of clothing? I am very pale and live in a very sunny climate so I wear sunscreen (real sunscreen, not moisturizer with SPF) daily. I’ve noticed all my clothes are getting white streaks, especially near the necklines, since I put sunscreen on my neck and collarbone area.

  25. RookieRette

    Ugh, no internet for a straight month (thanks, upstairs neighbors, for futzing with the cables!) means I’ve got a LOOOT of c-rette to catch up on. I missed this place!

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