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Updated: Apr 8, 2019 340 Comments · by

Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Janae Floral Jacquard Blazer

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. There are a lot of floral blazers out there right now — it's a big trend. I like the “midnight navy” and bright pop of “blazing yellow” on this one. I am not a floral girl myself, but if you are, this would be a great piece to add a little feminine detail to an outfit. It's by Cinq à Sept, which I always think of for cool-kid work clothes. The blazer is $495 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 00–12. Janae Floral Jacquard Blazer Calvin Klein and Eloquii have a couple of options in plus sizes (lucky sizes only, unfortunately), and for a more affordable option in three size ranges, try this blazer at Loft (coming soon). This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. 

Sales of note for 9.19.24

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
  • Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
  • Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
  • Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
  • Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
  • White House Black Market – 40% off select styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Daffodil

    My MIL had asked me to make brussel sprouts for a dinner she is hosting next weekend. Do you have any favorite recipes? I’ve never made them before (but am a decent cook, so ok if a bit complex). Thanks!

    • Hermione

      Yes! Slice/shred them and sauté with bacon or pancetta. I love Brussels sprouts!

      • Anonny

        Or if you’re feeding people with ethics, saute with olive oil, finish with a drizzle of balsamic reduction and a crack of fresh pepper.

        • Anon

          I say this as a longtime vegetarian: that’s a ridiculously rude way to remind people that putting meat (especially pork) in vegetable dishes means that vegetarians and people with religious restrictions can’t eat it.

          • Anonymous

            I am so adding this phrase to my vocabulary, right alongside charlie foxtrot.

        • anon

          Good ways to convince more people to eat a plant-based diet: “If you include meat it may be hard for vegetarians and people with religious restrictions to enjoy it, so here’s a vegetarian option that I love.”

          Bad ways: What you did.

          • Anon

            Yes. I think it’s fair to point out that if you add bacon, an otherwise-vegetarian dish will be off limits to vegetarians and anyone who keeps Kosher or Halal. The response was totally rude though.

          • nona

            True on the vegetarian point. But I’m assuming this is for Easter dinner, so kosher and halal are maybe less of a concern in this particular instance.

          • Anon

            For what it’s worth, I’ve had Jewish and Hindu friends over for Easter dinner. It was college, and it was a good chance for everyone to get away from campus, get a home-cooked meal, and relax in a different atmosphere.

          • Annie

            DH is a vegetarian and his parents are most definitely not, but they know he doesn’t eat meat. A couple visits ago, my MIL made asparagus wrapped in bacon as a side dish. This was in addition to the ribs making up the majority of the meal. She made no asparagus without bacon. She was legitimately so confused when he asked if there was any asparagus that was roasted without the bacon. Because apparently asparagus is not delicious if not wrapped in a meat product. And my husband ate an iceberg lettuce salad. TLDR: Some people don’t realize you can make vegetables without meat.

        • Idea

          FWIW I completely missed this the first two times I read it. I was like, “She’s feeding people with brussel sprouts, not with ethics…”
          grammar is real, people, and she is hungry!

          • Anonymous

            Let’s eat Grandma!
            Let’s eat, Grandma!

            Will add this to food/grammar/punctuation fails.

      • Diana Barry

        I would roast them with bacon, olive oil, and maple syrup. Cut them into same-size pieces, toss well (make sure enough olive oil to well cover, also maple syrup more than you think) with the cut-up bacon etc. and roast at 400 or 425 until the outer leaves are nice and crispy!

    • anon

      My favorite salad involves brussel sprouts and is super easy to make: Toss together kale or arugula, shaved brussel sprouts, manchego cheese, apples, walnuts, and a dressing of olive oil, lemon juice, 3 tbs dijon mustard, 1 minced garlic clove, and 2 tbs of minced shallot.

      • Anonymous

        Yes, shaved in food processor and tossed a salty cheese, nuts, and dried cranberries (+ vinaigrette) are my go-to.

      • Anon

        I feel like raw brussels are really hard on my teeth, even when they are extremely fresh (I’m only 35). Is there a trick?

    • K

      Cut them in half, toss w/ olive oil/salt/pepper, oven at 400 degrees for about 25 minutes. Could not be easier.

    • Vicky Austin

      I’ve had some really delicious brussels sprouts that were – I think – just roasted, maybe with a little brown sugar, and then topped with creme fraiche while hot. They were divine.

    • Anon

      I like them cut in half and roasted in the oven with lots of olive oil and salt and some pine nuts added toward the end (so that the pine nuts don’t over-toast.)

      Though now I’d be tempted to use bacon because of Annony’s post.

      You have blood on your hands, Annony!!

    • Anonymous

      The best brussels are cut in half, stems removed. Preheat the oven to 500 and put the pan you intend to roast them on in there. You want it screaming hot. Toss the brussels in olive oil, salt, and pepper (can add a seasoning if you want), dump on pan, put in the oven for 7 mins, move them around a little bit, and put them back in for another 5-7.

      You’ll get those delicious little charred bits around the edges, lots of flavor and texture. They are the actual best.

    • simiyalala

      Roast brussel sprouts (coated with olive oil) in the oven and then toss with sriracha and honey. This is my favorite brussel sprouts recipe.

  2. Anon

    As I advance in my career, I’m finding that all the skills that served me well in school and in the early stages of my career are actually hurting me.

    I’m good at executing, getting things done, collaborating, building consensus, and team building. I am NOT good at debating, presenting, handling contentious meetings, or selling people on ideas or concepts I don’t believe in. These are the skills I need if I want to become more senior.

    I also need 8 hours of sleep and some downtime after the workday ends. I’m seeing that those who succeed are willing to work at all hours, sacrifice outside interests, and work through illness. I can’t do that. Life is too short.

    Everything I’m good at helped me do well in school and for the first decade of my career. But now I feel like I have to change my whole personality to continue to grow and succeed, and I do not want to! I just don’t care enough. And I’ve worked long enough to see people who did everything the company wanted get cut the second profits were down. Working hard and playing by the rules does not necessarily pay off. And those people often gave up everything outside of work to advance… and for what? It just seems so pointless.
    Anyone ever felt this way?

    As a classic overachiever, it has been surprisingly difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that my definition of success and a happy life is almost entirely at odds with what corporate America asks of me. I’m having to redefine success for myself and questioning what the next 20 years of my career will look like. Anyone else felt similarly? I am so not motivated to go to work right now…

    • Anon

      Not even in the corporate world yet and I already feel the same. I see people around me willing to put up with anything, cut corners to get ahead, kiss-up to whoever they need to, support ideas they personally don’t agree with just for political clout. I’m sure I could get further in general if I could at least feign interest in benign things for the sake of interpersonal political advancement, but I just can not do it. Debate and contentious meetings I’m totally cool with though.

    • Anon

      I’ve decided over the last few years that I don’t want my happiness to come from my career. I want a job I like, but one that I can leave at the office after putting in my 40 hours a week. A big part of this shift came after being burned out after 8 years in BigLaw. I never wanted to be a law firm partner, but struggled to find that ideal exit option. Eventually, I decided that I would take an ok exit option (a government attorney job that is interesting, but not at a dream agency) that would be interesting and involved working with nice people. So far, I’ve been very happy with that decision.

      Careers are long, and I think a lot of us type A people feel like we should always be trying for the next big job. But it is ok to decide that you like you job and want to stay in that role. The world needs a lot of middle managers and individual contributors. If you will have a better life at your current level, that is a perfectly acceptable decision to stay at that level because happiness is more important. And just because you make that decision now, doesn’t mean that you can’t change your mind and go for the next level in the future.

    • anon

      I feel this so hard. I advanced into a management position, and I really don’t like it for the reasons you described. The qualities needed to play the game at this level are just so antithetical to my personality. I’m looking for a way out, honestly. It’s been hard to come to terms with.

      • givemyregards

        +1000 – I am also trying to figure out if there is a way for me to pivot back to a non-managerial role. I was so much happier and the money hasn’t been worth it.

      • Ellen

        When we become managers, we must become leaders and role model’s to the peeople we manage. That is why I am being groomed to be the next manageing partner. Dad says I cannot learn it all overnite, but that is a good thing b/c the manageing partner says he is in no hurry to retire. Margie is happy b/c she does not want him getting in her hair all day, either! YAY!!!

    • Inspired by Hermione

      I read a book about teams this past fall, Radical Candor. In it, the author describes how teams have “superstars” and “rockstars.” Rockstars are the “rock” of their team. They know what they’re doing, they’re good at it. They want to improve, but they don’t want to rise, necessarily. They just want to be better at what they do day to day. Superstars are the ones who rise up through the ranks. They always want the next thing. They want to get better by going higher.

      Sounds like you’re a rockstar. And teams need those to function. You can keep the ship steady. People can come to you about how it’s done- especially new superstar team members. It’s a solid place to be.

      • Senior Attorney

        So interesting. I’m a rockstar at work but I’m a superstar in my outside interests. I’d much rather rise to the top of my service organization than to the top of my work pyramid.

      • Anon

        There is a great podcast on this concept as well it’s “Work Life” w/ Adam Grant called the Problem with All-Stars. It doesn’t use the rockstar versus superstar lingo, but it makes the argument about why stars may be overrated. And you need some solid “B” team players to keep a team effective. Interesting listen.

    • anon

      Yes, I totally agree with you. I’m sort of senior but I look at all of the politics my boss has to deal with and I’m grateful it’s him and not me (and he kind of thrives on that sort of thing…) I’ve decided I’m content to be a worker bee as long as the projects remain interesting and variable. It probably means I won’t get to vacation at the ritz carlton or buy a house in the fancy part of town or have a designer wardrobe. But I’m ok with that. I get to have a life outside of work and see my family and friends and do fun things.

    • Anon

      So you can be this person – a subject matter expert who doesn’t want to climb the ladder, become a manager/senior manager, etc – but it comes with risks. My husband is this person. Because he’s experienced, he’s well paid, and he’s the first person to be laid off. In our 20+ year relationship he’s had his position eliminated 4 times and had a couple of particularly long bouts of unemployment.

      I’ve played the game, I’ve risen in seniority and position, and no I didnt enjoy a lot of it, but I felt it was what I needed to do for survival. (Your assumption that people do this because it’s what they love doing is … naive). And I haven’t been laid off so far. I’ve unfortunately been in the position of laying off people and this kind of thing does get discussed – “why does Anon make $2x when we have a bunch of people in the same role making $x?”

      My husband can be a little snarky about people who play the “corporate game” but that includes his wife, who has supported his ass all of these years, so

    • anon a mouse

      Do you want to advance, but not change your personality? Or do you just want to keep performing at your current level? It sounds like you are interested in advancing but not if it requires a radical personality makeover. You have to figure out how to do the things – debating, handling contentious meetings, etc – that are harder, but within your natural skill set. You say that you are good at consensus building. Think about why, and how you can apply those skills to a contentious meeting.

      I recommend reading Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking. Right now you are seeing success from the loudest, most extroverted people. But there are probably other people who accomplish what needs to get done without shouting about it. Find your own leadership and management style as you continue to advance. That book really opened my eyes to different ways of influence and success, even though I’m not an introvert.

      • Just 1 option

        you don’t say what degree your background is in… I might assume that since you’re here maybe you’re in corporate law?
        You might want to consider an MBA – evening classes at a local school, or an Executive MBA certification?
        I find that a lot of these skills are very much taught there – making your business case.

      • Anon

        Yes, this. I felt exactly like the OP when I (accidentally) was thrust into upper levels of management. But I have found my negotiating and management style which works well. I have cultivated a team of solid SMEs who has my back and build my presentations on real expertise rather than flashy sales punch lines. It takes more work and I can’t do nearly as many, but when we do sell, the product execution is top notch and leaves customers happy.

    • Anonymous

      I would rethink how you are looking at the skills that you perceive as negative and required to go further.

      As you grow, you need to influence, convince, and create alliances to be effective. You need to learn how to make decisions without being an expert (which means knowing how to use your experts). You need to grow the people who support you so they can provide the best support possible.

      It’s very true that what got you here won’t get you there, but you need to reach for those new challenges, because being able to have that impact is really rewarding.

      • Anonymous

        Agree. I ask myself “so these other jokers be deciding who wins the game and whose ideas matter?” And I’m always like “hell no” and then I figure it might as well be me deciding.

    • anon

      I would reframe this from changing your personality to gaining skills. For example, I’m a super quiet person who doesn’t like to talk over others and only likes to talk when something needs to be said. I can do that most of the time, but sometimes conversations need to be redirected and I’m not doing my job as well as I should if I don’t do that. I’m still the same quiet person. I just have a skill I didn’t have before, and it’s up to me to choose how and when I wield it. I don’t think it’s about changing personality.

      • Anon

        +1

        It’s not like every single person who rises in the ranks is a terrible sociopath. Some just learn the skills necessary to play the game.

        • anon

          I don’t think anyone is saying that, but there is freedom in realizing that obtaining a particular skill set isn’t great for you personally, even if it’s fine for others. We need people who can play the game, but it’s also OK to realize that you are better suited for contributing in other ways.

          • anon

            I can see that. There’s also that amazing feeling that comes from realizing that you can really move things and make stuff happen. It feels incredible to be and feel so effective, and it puts me in a better position to change the things I want to change rather than feeling like I just need to accept frustrating things as they are.

            To each her own, but this tradeoff was 100% worth it for me, even for skills that I’m not AT ALL well suited to build. It’s not as hard as it feels like before you do it.

  3. Falstaff

    How do New With Tags items end up on Poshmark? Are people buying things marked down in stores and trying to re-sell for a profit? If I’m shopping second-hand for sustainability reasons, does it make sense to avoid NWT items?

    • Anon

      I have some NWT stuff listed that I bought and just never wore. It happens. (I shop much more consciously now, but I was a bit of a binge shopper in the past.)

      • NOLA

        I found a cardigan that I probably bought 10 years ago in a plastic box under my bed. NWT. I’m certain it was a cardigan that I had and wore a lot and I bought a second one marked way down, but never got around to pulling it out. Lucky me, it’s my current size and I have no idea what happened to the original one, so I have a new cardigan.

    • Anon

      I have one or two NWT items that I bought online because I was too insanely busy to go to a store, then disliked, and never returned within the window (because insanely busy).

    • Anonymous

      I find NWT items in my thrift store adventures, although I think many people buy things from Tjmaxx, Marshall’s, Century21, Ross, etc..

    • Cat

      Final sale items / closed return windows / have to pay return shipping so might come out ahead if re-selling…

      or I personally know of at least two bloggers that have Poshmark pages and sell a bunch of free merch that companies have sent them. They feature it as their latest “go to” piece they can’t stop wearing on their blog/Insta and then a month later there it is, NWT on the Poshmark…

      • FFS

        That’s why I hate this “influencer” culture. I even hate the word. It’s so inauthentic. Once bloggers reach a certain level of popularity they just can’t be trusted anymore.

        • anon

          +1

          I used to follow a ton of home decorator blogs because that’s a hobby of mine. I finally had to stop, cold turkey, because it became so … fake. It is not realistic, or even desirable, to constantly redecorate. And I’m not talking minor tweaks; some of these are constantly undergoing major projects that cost many thousands of dollars every time. Replacing nearly brand-new stuff with more brand-new stuff is crass consumerism at its finest.

      • Falstaff

        The way people buy/acquire new things for social media content makes me want to launch myself into the sun.

    • Anon

      I’m trying to understand secondhand for sustainability, and the only way it makes sense is by signaling the manufacturer to produce fewer dresses or coats next season. So buying NWT secondhand would meet that criterion.

    • Anon

      I’ve sold NWT things that I got as gifts, but didn’t have gift receipts (or, didn’t return becuase thought I’d use it even though it wasn’t really my style, then realized, nope). Sometimes with Stitch fix it’s cheaper to keep all your items and get a 25% discount even if you only want 4/5 of them, and sell the last one on Poshmark.

      Since you’re worried about sustainability, it’s easy to tell if someone on Poshmark is a bulk seller and could be buying and reselling things, and you can just avoid NWT things from big bulk sellers.

    • JTM

      My NWT stuff was because I forgot it was in my closet and never wore it, or I bought the wrong size but couldn’t return it.

      • Vicky Austin

        This was true for me as well – bought something on clearance that was just too small. It wasn’t returnable, so it’s sitting in my closet, NWT, and I’ll probably put it on Poshmark if I can’t get my sister to take it.

    • Anon

      I buy NWT items almost exclusively from places like that. There are people, women mostly, who scour clearance racks and outlet stores for the best possible deals, and then try to sell on eBay or wherever for a small profit margin. I am personally happy to pay them a small premium to do that for me, as I hate shopping, particularly that kind of grueling combing through the jumbled clearance rack kind of shopping.

    • Original Moonstone

      My understanding is that lots of NWT items sold online are shoplifted.

  4. Hair question

    I’d love to hear your experience with keratin/Brazilian blow out/Japanese straightening. I have normal hair with a slight wave (mother is East Asian but I have my dad’s Caucasian hair), and it seems to frizz all summer here on the east coast. Has the treatment saved you a lot of time getting ready?

    • Anonymous

      I have that weird British hair that is flat but expands in humidity and I live in the SEUS. A TON of humidity (New Orleans, Houston, SE VA) is great. A bit less — fuzz. And my gray hairs get 100% more body, so my summer hair can be Awkward Cotton Ball. I get a bit of keratin around my hairline (grays mainly) during the year and 5/1 of every year I get my full head done. It doesn’t really save me time, but ensures that my hair doesn’t get awful once I go out in the local weather. It can also air dry to the same result as blowing it dry.

      Late 40s.

    • Anon

      1000000% worth it. I have wavy hair that frizzes easily, and a keratin treatment is a life saver in the summer. It sounds ridiculous, but it seriously increases my quality of life because I no longer stress about washing my hair and planning it around events, or thinking about having to wash it while I’m away for the weekend, on vacation, etc. It sounds silly, but anyone with hard to manage hair can relate I’m sure. For the first 2ish months after getting one, I can get away with letting my hair air dry. Which is absolutely crazy to me! After 2ish months, I still can, it just has a little more wave. But if I take a blow dryer to it for less than 5 minutes, it ends up looking perfect. Seriously get one!

    • ANP

      I have super thick hair and used to do keratin treatments — probably for about 2-3 years. I stopped because my hair texture changed (I think a combo of getting older and getting out of the babies/nursing phase) and keratin actually made it TOO straight — I wanted more body in my hair! But it’s great — definitely works as advertised. My hair was much more manageable and easy to style.

    • Anon

      Does anyone know if the chemicals for the keratine treatment are known to be harmful/carcinogenic??

      • Falstaff

        Yes, they are but mostly for the salon workers who are inhaling them all day.

        • Rainbow Hair

          I think about this … How do you feel about the ethics of it? Should I not get a treatment done if I know it’s harming the people who do it (vote with my $?), or should I trust them to make their own decisions like I make mine? See also: watching football (I don’t watch football, but I watch hockey).

          • Anonymous

            The question is whether you think the people doing the treatment have the power to make their own decisions without undue economic pressure. Maybe a highly skilled, high-paid stylist who can go work at any fancy salon she likes can make her own choices, but the stylist at my local salon who went to technical high school and is on Medicaid and WIC (for real) probably doesn’t have the bargaining power to push back against a salon owner’s decision to offer toxic treatments.

            I am with you re. hockey. Football is easy to give up–in fact, I like having an excuse not to watch it–but hockey is actually fun to watch.

          • Falstaff

            I don’t do it. I don’t get manicures either. I think there is a case to be made either way (and really it should be on the government to ensure that everyone has a safe and healthy work environment), but it makes me too uncomfortable.

  5. Anon

    Do you have family plans for phone/spotify with friends? Recently had to end a family plan because some family members moved out of the country. All the individual plans look really quite pricey, but I don’t know how appropriate it would be to ask some friends if I can join their family plans. Any recommendation for reasonably priced individual plan would be great as well. I use a decent amount of data, less text and calls.

    • Anonimoose

      Project Fi has been an absolute gamechanger for me. I love it. You straight up pay $10 for each gb of data you use. I bought my phone outright, and my bills are about $35 a month. The most it has ever been (I streamed several sports games while in a family vacation in a car) was $80. It’s just so much more reasonable than my previous plan was. Highly recommend.

      • JTM

        +1 for Project Fi. My bill has gone down considerably since I switched.

        I also have a Spotify family plan with a group of friends – one friend handles the annual payment & we all Venmo her our share. We started a couple of years ago, and she just casually put it out in the group chat (“do yall wanna do a Spotify family plan?”) and we jumped on it. No biggie if anyone didn’t want to do it.

    • Anon

      Cricket or similar. I don’t understand why people still pay Verizon and AT&T prices. It’s just throwing away money.

      • Anon

        Because of coverage. My friends with plans like cricket have lots of areas where they can’t get any signal.

        • Aunt Jamesina

          ? Cricket uses the same network as AT&T. I have Boost, and it uses Sprint.

          • Anon

            Yeah Sprint has terrible coverage in my area. AT&T is better overall but no signal at my house!

      • rosie

        Yeah Sprint has terrible coverage in my area. AT&T is better overall but no signal at my house!

      • Anon

        Yup, coverage. I was stranded in a blizzard last year and was picked up by the fire police as I struggled to walk down the road. They told me nobody except AT&T has coverage there. If I want a safe commute, I need AT&T.

    • BabyAssociate

      Asking to join a friend’s family plan would strike me as very odd. Not sure what “quite pricey” means to you, but an individual cell phone plan really shouldn’t be that expensive. I have Google Fi and pay about $55 a month.

    • FFS

      You can run the numbers on Ting to see how much your bill would be, and I believe you only pay for what you use each month, which is nice. I did estimates for our phones and it was actually the same price as our AT&T plan. I wouldn’t ask friends to let me join their plan.

    • Vicky Austin

      I thought Spotify was cracking down on the “you must all live at the same address” rule for family plans?

      If not, I would love to know. I recently canceled my Premium because $10 is just too much for one person.

      • Abby

        I don’t think that’s true, I’m on my brother’s plan who lives in SF and I’m in the midwest. He just needed my email address and set me up. How would they know?

    • Anon

      We use Freedompop, which uses the AT&T network (and maybe others as well). It has been ridiculously cheap.

    • Katie

      I started using Mint Mobile and it’s fantastic and I pay $15/mo! It uses T-Mobile’s network so I get great coverage, and plenty of data for a rock bottom price. If you want an individual plan, look up “MVNO”. I’m saving a ton of money and this was totally easy to set up.

    • Anon

      Don’t you know, if you can’t pay for your own phone you’re not an adult ;)

    • EM84

      My colleagues at work have a shared Spotify account/friends&family type. I found it strange because the monthly cost is negligible, but they enjoy the feeling of perceived savings and being connected as a team (or something, I did not investigate). If they could have a shared phone plan, I bet they would. So in my current job, it is normal.

  6. Court attire -- Varsity Blues edition

    Are there any sites covering this from a fashion perspective?

    I have so many questions . . .

    — Lori Loughlin wore tan and gray — that is unusual to me. And the belted shirt/sweater. Seemed a bit too summery for Boston. And perhaps not grave enough. A felony perhaps warrants more somber / darker colors.
    — Felicity Huffman — black + jewel tone. And, important for me, flats! Good length on the pants — I have aimed for that (and missed) when going for a very, very slight crop so my hems aren’t dragging and I can wear shoes I can walk it (but also works for heels, a la Meghan Markle’s slightly cropped black pantsuit).

    To my knowledge, no one has chosen a female attorney for this. And the other female defandants (some of whom are pleading guilty like Felicity Huffman) don’t get photographed (much less asked for autographs, like Aunt Becky).

    I figured this would be a good series of events from a learning about serious court attire perspective. And yet . . . no coverage that I’ve found.

    • Anon

      I don’t think its an opportunity to learn about serious court attire. Most defendants don’t wear serious court attire, nor are they expected to. The men may be in suits, but female defendants tend to be more dressily end of business causal. That’s not serious court attire for an attorney, and is not relevant unless you plan to be a defendant in the future.

      • Anonymous

        IDK — if I were charged with a federal felony, I’d be in my bestest most serious dark suit. Probably and hose (b/c I freeze easily). I get that many actual court defendants are in shirts with words on them and denim, but I figure if I can afford a BigLaw defense attorney, I can wear a serious suit.

        Other than Jussie Smollet, has any recent high profile defendant had a female defense attorney? In PDs offices they are a dime a dozen but maybe not in the private defense bar?

        • Anon

          I disagree. A smart defendant wants to think about the message they are sending to the judge. If asked, I would actually advise these defendants to not wear a suit. The message they want to send is that they are mothers who love their children and were misguided by that love. Rightly or wrongly, many people think a suit on a female tends to send a message that the person is impersonal and cold.

          • Anon

            Exactly.

            While they don’t want to loik like simpletons, they shouldn’t look *too* savvy, either.

          • Yep

            Agree completely. I would have put these women in soft pink cardigans. (I’m a former prosecutor)

          • Cat

            Exactly this. “Affluenza-afflicted helicopter-parenting taken too far in a fit of love and support” is best conveyed by structured yet soft pieces that are noticeably high quality but not a label fest.

            Defendant showing up in a power suit is the wrong message here.

          • Anonymous

            I think I want this: structured yet soft pieces that are noticeably high qualify but not a label fest.

            Where do I get? I want something like if St. John and Sigrid Olsen had a baby. HELP ME SHOP (not a defendant, but like this vibe)!!!

        • Idea

          I still remember Winona Ryder wearing Marc Jacobs to her court stuff for her shoplifting charges way back when. It practically made Marc Jacobs.

          Of course, it un-made Winona Ryder and she laid low for awhile, though she’s been great in Stranger Things.

    • Anonymous

      Usually fashion goal don’t include ‘white collar criminal’ so that’s why there isn’t fashion coverage. Who wants to look like they are trying to save their career by pleading guilty?

      if you’re looking for inspiration, The Good Fight continues The Good Wife’s tradition of fantastic legal fashion.

    • Anon

      The defendants aren’t trying to look like lawyers. They are trying to look like people who should be fined but not put in jail.

    • anon

      oh no! there are women in the news and they’re covering the actions instead of the dresses! whatever shall we do!

      truly not singling you out for asking, op. This blog would be the place to discuss it, and obviously you’ve found some photos. But to me, this feels like a sucess of “ask me more”.

    • Suburban

      I almost said that I don’t care what the defendants wear. Unless, of course, any seasoned criminal attorneys want to tell us why they directed their client to wear something in particular. I could listen to that all day. I seem to remember Winona Ryder in a Peter Pan collar and headband and thinking that was clearly at an attorney’s direction.

      I took a trial class once where an instructor told the story that he spent a few days as a young attorney trying to find catholic school uniforms for a client’s school aged daughters. The big shot trial attorney was convinced the jury would be charmed if they showed up in them. I wonder if you can make a living as a trial wardrobe consultant…

      • Anonymous

        I advised a friend once to wear Laura Ashley and a hair bow. It was the 90s.

      • Anon

        I worked with a trial consultant as a witness/person most knowledgeable. I was advised to wear something pink and to wear no black. So I had to find suit-ish separates (but not a suit!) in lighter shades and wear them with a pink blouse. Rationale – women in business clothing, particularly black, are read as “b1tch” by juries and judges. It’s incredibly frustrating but as the consultant said “we’re here to win the game, not change the rules.”

        • Anonymous

          Though I wish someone were here to change the rules, since this thread does not reflect well on our justice system!

          • Suburban

            I don’t know if I agree. At its heart, our legal system allows the defendant, or the litigants, to tell their story to the finder of fact. Clothes are part of how we tell that story.

          • Anon

            It’s not just the justice system – this is the general population when we’re talking about juries. Misogyny is real.

      • Anonymous

        Right — it’s like everything is a deliberate choice. Was Aunt Becky trying to be “relatable” and “just a mom, trying to do the right thing”? It’s like how Skylar White never looked the part.

        Everything is not random and is imbued with meaning. It is so fascinating to me.

        For the life of me, I have no idea what Martha Stewart wore to any legal proceedings (but I understand her attorney majorly misread things, maybe she did, too, and basically got prison time when due to his/her/their behavior when that was not the initial plan).

      • Suuuuuuuuuuper Anon

        During law school I was s—ally assaulted and filed a protection order with the help of a mentor. I wanted to wear my suit. She said no. I wore an a-line skirt and a black tucked in tee instead with flats. She didn’t want the judge to associate me with being a lawyer. Just a woman who deserved safety.

        I told a “friend” about this and he lost.his.mind. “Don’t you want to look credible? I can’t see why you wouldn’t want to look like a lawyer. Do you really want to look like the weak girl who couldn’t keep herself safe? The judge will see right through you. I can’t believe women decide what to wear to make the judge think better of them. Playing the system.”

        Turns out he’s seriously physically/mentally abusive towards women (me included, hence the “friend”), so I can see why he would have a problem with women “playing the system.” But my lawyer had done DV work for her entire career and said that the judge, implicitly or otherwise, is going to make judgment calls based on how I looked and so we may as well try to make it a judgment call that would benefit me, even though we had a strong case.

        • Anon

          Sorry to hear that you were a victim of s— assault. And sorry your “friend” was an ass. Lot of men wear suits all the freaking time, at work, even at a no-suit needed-jeans-allowed corporate atmosphere so upper management thinks the better of them. I look around at meetings with VPs and SVPs and I know instinctively how many men there have aspirations to rise up. I think more women who have aspirations to rise up should also dress up.

          Your attire shapes what people think about you. Might as well make use of that, esp. in court hearings where it makes a huge difference.

  7. MRSKBP

    Can anyone share a Rothy’s code with me? Do they run true to size? Also interested in purchasing some Tieks if anyone wants to give feedback on those. I love my cole haan flats, those are my go to flats for work, but want to try something new and have a little variety. Thanks so much!

    • Legally Brunette

      At least in the pointy flats, I need a half size larger than my normal size. I’ve heard the same for others as well.

    • Sunshine

      Rothy’s points and loafers are my favorites. It’s likely that you will need to go a half size up in points and loafers. If your feet are wide, go up a full size. Don’t worry about getting the sizing wrong the first time; their return/exchange process is very easy.
      Also, use ebates for 5% off. It stacks with the $20 code.
      Note that they just shifted to a new inventory process and also had a number of new releases yesterday, so shipping may be a bit slower than usual.
      https://share.rothys.com/x/Wg4EcV

    • esq.

      Personally I do not like Tieks. I wanted desperately to like them but they have several issues: (1) they don’t have half sizes; (2) they stretch out over a relatively short period of time, making them unwearable; (3) they have a leather insole, which, in my experience, means they absorb sweat easily and start smelling bad quickly. I know other people do the no show socks, but I find that never looks good.

    • Lots to Learn

      I actually just bought a pair of points in my regular size (which were a tad too tight) and returned them for a half-size larger (which are a tad too loose). I put a pad under the insole at the ball of the foot and it helped some, but I’m so bummed that I seem to be exactly at a quarter-size! For the price and given the rave reviews, I was expecting these to fit like a dream. If anyone has thoughts about them maybe stretching just a little or maybe even washing and putting in the dryer to shrink just a little, I’m all ears…

      • Sunshine

        Definitely avoid the dryer, and heat in general. They’ll shrink but also likely be misshapen. There are ways to stretch but they seem pretty involved. Have you tried a thicker insole, perhaps Allbirds? A heel insert may also do the trick.

  9. Anonymous

    I posted a few weeks ago about my “emotional affair” with my boss and I really appreciate all of the advice that you all had. Unfortunately things have progressed past the point of no return and now I think I need to move on and find a new job.

    How can I sell moving on from this job to my next one? I’ve only been here and year and a half. It’s a small community and a big company, so the next step for me isn’t clear.

    • Anonymous

      Move to a smaller business and sell it as not wanting to be a corporate drone? Like you want to focus more on growing a business vs. helping an established business?

    • anon

      Are there alternatives in your company that would let you stay there while reporting to someone else? I’m guessing you’ve explored this already, but it’s usually the best option in the case of small community/big employer.

      Barring that, I would be looking at a lateral move somewhere else. I don’t know that it’ll be *that* big of a sell job — focus on what drew you to the position and what you bring, and you’ll probably be fine. Unless you have a history as a job hopper, I don’t think one 1.5-year stay is going to tank your candidacy.

      I’d also throw this out there … look for a position in which you’d report to another woman. As terrible as that sounds, it may give you a cleaner break and a chance to heal. (I’m not expressing this well, so please don’t jump all over me, fellow commenters. This is just what I’d do in the situation to give myself peace of mind that I wouldn’t be running from one bad situation to another.)

      Good luck. I know this isn’t easy, and I think you’re doing the right thing.

  10. Anon

    I want to sing the praises of the Revlon one-step dryer and volumizer that has been mentioned on here. I bought one last week and it is a miracle worker. I have VERY thick, coarse, wavy/curly hair. I never blow dried it myself because it would take over an hour, kill my arms, and I could never get it completely straight and smooth. I am honestly blown away by the Revlon dryer. I just rough dry my hair with my regular blow dryer to get the majority of the moisture out, and then I use the Revlon thing in sections. It only takes about 40 mins total (I have insanely thick hair, so if you have a normal amount of hair I’m sure it would take way less time). People think I have just been to the salon for a blow out. I swear this is not an ad, I just wanted to thank those who recommended this tool!

    • kp

      +1000 on this. I have thin, limp hair. I shower, let my hair air dry for 20 minutes while I have coffee, etc. Then I use the one-step for 10 minutes max and I look like I just got a professional blow dry. I don’t use any products mostly because I’m lazy, but when I do use products the blow dry look stays all day. I’ve used high end dryers before, tons of different products, brushes, etc. and this is what has stuck. Plus it isn’t getting as hot as say a straightener or a curling wand, which I used to use before to get my hair this smooth, so it’s better for my hair overall. Can’t recommend more!

    • FFS

      I’m really tempted after seeing all these raves. I normally don’t blowdry or anything, but my postpartum hair is thin and limp like KP’s above. For most days I don’t care but it’d be nice to be able to step up my hair game for photos/important days.

    • Saguaro

      Just bought this based on the rec here – LOVE IT. It’s a time saver, and so nice to not have to manage a brush AND a blow dryer.

    • Irish Midori

      Ooh, I have one too. Thick wavy hair here. I NEVER use a regular blow dryer any more. It’s great.

    • CHL

      Another tip – I use dry shampoo (Klorane) and then my Revlon thing before I go out or on day 2 and it is AWESOME!

    • Anonymous

      Okay, I have a question. I hate round brushes (I have a very sensitive scalp for any amount of pulling), and I find perfect blowouts look a little Stepford on me. But I do still want to look more polished.

      Would I be content with the one-step hair dryer and styler (the flat brush variant)? Has anyone used the styler as opposed to the volumizer?

      • OP

        I bought the flat brush version first actually, and ended up returning it because it wasn’t powerful enough for my hair. The round brush really grips the hair tight to straighten it.

      • Jules

        I have a flat one – not the Revlon, but a version of this: https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B0714LHP8N/ref=oh_aui_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 – and I like it. I have long, thick mostly straight hair. This dries it faster than a regular blow dryer and avoids the little bumps (which I have instead of nice waves) that I get with air-drying and the Barbie’s-little-sister-Skipper flip at the bottom that comes with regular hair dryers. It will curl the ends under just enough that it looks polished. I love it so much that I’ll make room for it in a carry-on bag.

        • Anonymous

          Yes, this sounds like exactly what I want… to avoid the bumps and the flip. Thanks for the recommendation!

      • Tweak

        Use the flat brush version to give a polished look with no curling effect, or use the round brush and just hold your roots while you move it. When the length of the hair is done, roll the brush back up to the root and let it sit there on low heat to dry/straighten your roots and unroll.

        • Anonymous

          Interesting; I didn’t think much about how I’d have another hand free when using a one-handed device. Maybe this would help, though it detracts some from the “so easy and convenient” factor. Thanks!

    • Anon

      I looked at this when it was recommended recently (probably when OP got it!). I ended up thinking that since I’ve (finally) gotten good at the round brush + hair dryer combo (sectioning and starting at the front, not the bottom back), this tool would yield essentially the same results. Anyone have experience to the contrary? It’s not a bad price for a daily life improvement!

      • Lots to Learn

        I bought one based on the reviews here, used it once, and then returned it. I found it didn’t do anything that a dryer plus round brush didn’t do. I have stick-straight hair and the most I can ever get it to do is curl under slightly. I tried to use the Revlon thing to give it volume and expected amazing results given all the comments here, and saw exactly no difference. And on top of that, the handle of the thing is ginormous – and I don’t have particularly small hands. The sales clerk told me that I was the second person that day who had returned it mentioning how it’s too big to hold comfortably. So maybe it’s great for wavy or curly-haired people, but I think it’s a waste for straight haired people.

      • OP

        If you’re good at a round brush and blow dryer, then you probably don’t need it. I was terrible at it, and it took forever. It’s so much easier on my arms to use one tool.

      • Anon

        Thanks. I do have wavy to curly hair but am used to working with the texture at this point. Appreciate the honest feedback!

    • SSC

      I bought one over a year ago — total game changer. I could never master the technique for using a round brush + hair dryer to make my hair straight and smooth, but the Revlon product makes it look great every time. My only complaint is isn’t quite as “volumizing” as I thought it would be (but I have very fine hair, so YMMV).

  11. Redux

    Dog lovers (haters walk on by…): My friend is having a birthday party for her dog, a labradoodle. What gift should I bring? Either for the dog or for my friend? Something I could pick up in person or prime delivery would be ideal. I don’t have a dog, so I’m not sure what a fun gift would be.

  12. Anon

    Does anyone have recommendations for linen shirts? Looking for something soft and opaque. TIA!

      • Hermione

        Another +1. They sometimes do collaborations – I have a lovely Linen shirt with a Liberty print all over it that I picked up from them in 2017. Sooo much cheaper than buying directly from Liberty!

  13. Irish Midori

    Several of you endorsed getting a roomba yesterday, and I’m curious. I have animals that shed, so it’s super hard to stay on vacuuming as much as I should, but I also have kids of the lego-loving age, which makes it rare that the floor is free of debris enough to vacuum. What do you love about your roomba? Did any of you try it and then pitch it for some reason? Are there alternative (ahem, less expensive) competitor brands I should look at?

    • Cb

      We have a Eufy and really like it. We have a cat, laminate flooring and a duplo loving kid. If it sucks up things, they are very easy to retrieve.

    • Roomba Fan

      I really love my Roomba for keeping on top of the dog hair and small accumulation of dirt the dog/our shoes drag in. I find it double teams as I pick up other things so it’s a huge time saver. It also gets under the bed and a few furniture pieces that I would otherwise have to physically pick up and move to get in there to vacuum. It’s also something you can connect to remotely so I run it before I come home from vacations, which just feels so nice to walk into a clean space after traveling.

      I do a little prep before I run it (moving chairs, picking up anything on the floor) but that takes way less than if I had to vacuum my whole place. You can also close doors and have the Roomba cover only a selected space if your entire home isn’t ready to go.

    • anonshmanon

      I have a friend who doesn’t use hers, because her dog goes berserk when the Roomba runs. If you could borrow one before you commit, I guess that would be ideal.

    • Curly

      I love basically everything about my Roomba, but do not have kids or pets. It does such a fantastic job of getting hair and crumbs so all I have to do is damp mop on the weekends. I do a visual sweep every morning before I leave to make sure there are no cords or shoelaces or anything it could get tangled in, and I usually shut the door to my bedroom because it will sometimes get stuck on the bed skirt. If most of the kids’ toys are in one room, that could be the easiest.

      Mine is the Roomba 690, which is one of the bump and turn models (so it looks like a drunk little elf, randomly bumping into everything and stumbling its way around). Some have mapping abilities, and I think those clean more efficiently. I got a Roomba because I read that the replacement parts are easier to find so if it breaks, I have a better chance of being able to fix it. When I was doing research, I remember one of the cheaper brands was also very highly rated by Consumer Reports (maybe Eufy). You can set up little forcefields around pet water bowls so the vacuum doesn’t run into those. You can use the same forcefield devices to create “doors,” in case there’s no door on a room you don’t want it going into. I do think it would scatter legos or other little tiny toys.

      • Curly

        One thing I didn’t think about before getting it is my security alarm. I had to turn off the motion sensor in one of my rooms because the Roomba would trigger it while I was at work.

    • Pretty Primadonna

      I have a knock-off Roomba that I got from Amazon (ILIFE V5s Pro). I bought this particular one after lots of research because I wanted a device that had a mop feature as well as vacuum. I love it for the vacuum function but the mop is meh. I run it almost daily on my ceramic floors and it works quite well to pick up debris, etc. However, if you can spring for one that is “smart” and doesn’t go over the same spots over and over again, I would suggest that.

    • Anon

      I have two roombas – upstairs and downstairs – and I love them, but yes you would have to get the legos up and off the floor, or confine them to a room the Roomba doesn’t enter. Alternatively you could have the Roomba suck them up but then you’d have to go through the bin and pick them out, which is not my favorite. (I rescued a minifig from the bin just the other day.)

      The advantage of the Roomba is that you don’t have to make yourself haul out, plug in, and run the vacuum. It’s as easy as pushing a button on the machine or on your phone and the thing runs until it’s done. You can schedule it to run when you’re not at home.

      I find them easy to use, reliable, and easy to maintain. They make everything really obvious and you can buy replacement parts for just about everything.

      I have a dust allergy and having the floors vacuumed regularly rather than just when the cleaning ladies come has been a huge improvement for me.

      • Irish Midori

        I’m thinking about just informing the kids that if they leave legos on the floor, they will likely loose them to the roomba… I’ve threatened before, but never have the heart to follow through. Roomba does not care.

        • Anon

          My roombas have names. “If you don’t pick up your legos Charlie will eat them” sounds like it would have been pretty effective when my kids were younger!

    • SC

      I love our Roomba. I have a husband, a 4-year-old, and a cat. We received the Roomba as a Christmas gift, and over 3 months of almost daily vacuuming, it’s appalling how much dirt the Roomba still collects. It’s made my allergies better, the house looks and feels cleaner when other people come over, and we’re even having to change our AC vents less often.

      We do have to pick up the stuff on the floor, but that’s sortof a plus because it gives us some motivation to keep the house neater. It’s also not a huge deal to close a door or skip a day.

      If I were buying one again, I’d get the kind with the self-emptying vacuum. Ours usually needs to be emptied half-way through a cleaning–but we may just produce an exceptional amount of dust and cat hair. Fortunately, my husband works from home and can generally empty the Roomba.

      • Irish Midori

        Do you know if self-emptying comes in forms other than the $1k name-brand one? I can see that being a need in my house with 2 cats and 2 kids, but shew that is a lot for a household appliance I’m trying out!

        • SC

          I don’t know about other brands. I hear you on the price–my mom generously bought the one we have as a Christmas/housewarming gift. A Roomba was on our wish list, but we probably wouldn’t have been able to buy the one we have for a long while, and we wouldn’t have spent $1000 on a vacuum. That said, people (not me) spend $1000 on a dishwasher, and now that we have one, I’d say the Roomba is at least as important to me as our dishwasher.

        • Anon

          I have 2 cats and 2 teens and I’ve been doing fine without the self emptying. Once you’re in maintenance mode and the Roomba has already sucked up all the neglected areas, it would take a lot to overflow the bin, even including legos. :)

      • Anon

        I agree with the motivation – it’s actually one of the hidden benefits of the Roomba. It gets me to pick up my kids’ stuff at least every other day.

        That said, my kids are still in the duplo stage. I’m sure it’s going to get infinitely more annoying when they are old enough for proper legos. I might have to make a rule about keeping legos in the basement playroom.

        • Anon

          Does it just shove the duplos around in front of it?

          My biggest issue is iPhone charging cords. I have teens and that is the major thing they leave lying around. My Roomba 600 series (bump and turn) cheerfully cleaned the entire house trailing a pink charging cord and wall plug behind her. It was all wrapped around her rollers.

          • Anon

            We pick up the duplos first – which we would never do if it weren’t for Roomba. But picking up duplos is waaaay less annoying that picking up tiny real legos.

    • Anon

      This is a bit of a threadjack, but I’m assuming Roombas can’t do stairs, right? The stairs are the filthiest part of our house by far – does anyone have great solutions for keeping those clean?

      • Anon

        We swiffer our stairs. They aren’t carpeted tho. The Roomba will not do stairs, but it will also not fall down them due to cliff sensors.

      • Lilliet

        We got a Dyson cordless (I think we have a v7) and love it for the stairs. It’s light enough to not make three sets of stairs (basement + converted attic) not horrible. But it’s really gross how much it picks up.

    • Anon

      We tried it with two cats. The trope about them smearing barf (and worse) all over the place is true.

  14. DamnItsTuesday

    Looking for petite skirt suit reccs! I’m detailing to a new office next week (still in the same subcomponent of the same federal agency), and would like to show up in a suit the first day. I’ve avoided wearing a true skirt suit (I have separates) for about 3 years now, since my office tends to be on the cas side of biz cas. My usual uniform is a pencil skirt and blouse, but I know the new office conducts a number of external engagements so a suit is probably necessary. I’m abysmally tiny (like 5 ft on a good day), but also have child-bearing hips. 6P typically fits in pants, but I’m smaller on top and have shorter arms, so finding a blazer that fits has been challenging. I’m a recent grad, so I’m looking to keep the full suit under $150 if possible! I was thinking about walking over to the local Ann Taylor on my lunch break, but wanted to check here first! TIA

    • Anonymous

      I like Banana — their petite suiting jackets fit me off the rack, as do the Logan fit pants (I’m hippy). I get pants from AT but the suiting jackets have the darts all wrong for me and have not worked in 10+ years despite my trying.

    • Anon

      I’m a couple inches taller than you but I’ve had the most luck with Ann Taylor petites for the skirt suit.

      • DamnItsTuesday

        Thank you both! I’ll walk over to AT and check out Banana later this week.

        • Anon

          Good idea! I’ve had good luck with both BR & AT. I’m 152 cm and hippy and wear 4p for blazers and 6p for pants.

    • Ms B

      Macy’s on line. Try Kasper, Tahari or Calvin Klein petites. I just picked up a Kasper suit over the weekend for $100 and a Tahari dress + jacket for about $160 over the weekend. They have yet to arrive (their free shipping is so slow, so plan to pay for upgraded shipping if you need for next week), but I expect successes based on past purchases.

    • busybee

      I second the recs for AT and BR. I have heard that the most important thing for blazers is that they fit in the shoulder. Other aspects can be altered more easily (I ALWAYS have to get the chest and waist taken in) but apparently the shoulders are the most difficult. Might not be able to do that in time for the first day, but at least for the future.

      • DamnItsTuesday

        You all rock! I went over to AT and found THE navy skirt suit – 8P skirt and 2P jacket (yeah i also dont get how that works). No alterations needed and the jacket’s sleeves fit and the suit actually buttons, it’s a damn miracle. Here’s to hoping I can keep to my current exercise regimen and not bust out of it in a month. The whole thing cost over $200, but that’s the price you pay to be taken seriously i guess. Mazel!

  15. Asking

    Do any of you use CBD oil or CBD- anything and find it effective? I am in a state that is just getting to legalize medical marijuana and I’m wondering how mainstream such marijuana-related (THC or not) treatments are and if they’re effective, or if they’re still very alternative and edgy?

    I am pretty straight-edge traditional myself – never used drugs, rarely drink, all my medicine and health care is “Western” as in medical, doctors, talk therapy etc. not New Age or Chinese, Native American, or other cultures. I am trying not to judge – I have a lot of friends who swear by acupuncture or oils and I don’t try to talk them out of it.

    Thoughts? (If this has been discussed before, please forgive me and point me to the thread or era)

    • lsw

      Also very curious and you could be describing myself. I have a lot of friends who use w33d for migraines but I’m not ready to take the step of using something illegal no matter how much it helps.

      • Anon

        I *think* CBD is legal everywhere, FYI. It’s a different strain of the plant, right?

        • IHHtown

          It’s in a fuzzy zone of legal some places, illegal other places, and illegal but somehow still sold in stores in some places (ex. Texas). There was literally a CBD raid by the police this month yet a local store advertises online and in their store window that they have it – almost like an Uber effect – if you do something illegal enough to make it mainstream, they’ll have to craft laws around it.

          • Anon

            Okay, thanks for the education. I’m in Texas and it seems to be almost mainstream here. I’m pretty sure my acupuncturist sells it.

          • Anon

            It’s technically not legal in my state due to weird rules about where it can be grown or made or something. It’s not illegal in and of itself, but transporting it here is and none of it is made here. There’s no enforcement of this, though. You can buy it in tons of places.

        • Keeks

          CBD made from hemp should be 100% legal in all states and doesn’t have any effects that you get from THC. Just different chemicals that come from the same plant.

    • Anon

      Not me but I have a friend who was the world’s biggest skeptic and then she tried a CBD ointment on her excema and boom – gone. I’m not a user personally but I know how miserable she was with her excema (like, completely covered arms in all weather) and how many western medicine products she had tried over the years, so I’m glad this product is commercially available to her now. We are in California.

      I think I detect a note of worry in your post – like why does this have to be legal, it’s going to ruin my state! – maybe I’m imagining it. But other than the occasional billboard advertising cannibis related products in cagey language, I have not really noticed any day to day changes here.

      • Asking

        TBH yes as a prude :) I am a little worried. But I’m trying to keep an open mind, too.
        Good to hear about California – I am on the opposite side of the country and yes there are a LOT of stereotypes about Californians here. Interesting that you say you haven’t noticed any changes. I am in risk management so I joke that I’m paid to be anxious – it’s the job I was born for.
        Thanks for the perspective!

      • Anonymous

        Not sure how CBD it even is but I’m using the Kiehl’s cannabis sativa oil (in the green bottle) layered with their standard face cream at night and I think it’s actually been doing some wonders. It’s made my cheek area brighter and calms everything down.

    • Anonymous

      I wouldn’t call them alternative or edgy but would call them risky and unproven. There are reasons medical doctors don’t write prescriptions for oils including CBD oil. To each her own, but I would rather wait for peer reviewed studies with control experiments and known long term effects instead of making myself into a lab rat.

      If you’re interested in recreational use, that is, however, pretty known and mainstream.

      • Asking

        Is it risky and unproven? The CBD industry talks like it’s a known cure or prevention for almost any thing and any body.
        Is the medical side a front for recreational use?
        It’s still not mainstream everywhere…. but yeah, I privately get the feeling I’m a retro prude on this issue…

        • Anonymous

          Well of course the CBD industry talks like that! There is money to be made!

      • Anon

        Medical doctors don’t write prescriptions for CBD because cannabis-derived CBD products are on Schedule I. You cannot write a prescription for Schedule I items. That’s why doctors write “recommendations” for medical marijuana.

        DEA recently rescheduled one drug called Epidiolex derived from cannabis, but it’s not straight CBD. It was FDA approved.

        It’s unproven because it’s difficult to study without violating federal law.

        • Anon

          To add to this, the one strain available for FDA testing purposes is so old that it bears little resemblance to what is available today.

    • Anonymous

      Any stigma associated with THC and “getting high” (justified or not) cannot be rationally extended to products that have no psychoactive component.

    • Anon

      A close family member has used CBD products to aid in recovery from opioid use disorder and is doing better than ever. He also recommended a CBD pill of some kind to another family member who had suffered from chronic pain related to hip surgery for years and apparently he took the pill and slept through the night for the first time since he could remember. I’m cautiously optimistic that CBD has a real place in treating chronic pain, especially when it’s associated with anxiety, but I’d like to see more evidence before progressing beyond anecdata.

    • cbackson

      I take CBD oil nightly. The scientific evidence isn’t as strong as I’d like, that said, I find that my sleep is improved and I’m not getting groggy in the AM like I was with melatonin or prescription sleep aids. CBD isn’t believed to work directly on sleep, but rather to improve sleep by reducing anxiety. I’d already tried all the recommended stuff in terms of sleep hygiene first, and was still struggling.

      That said, you need to be careful where you buy it (I get mine from Floyd’s of Leadville) because otherwise you have the same problems you get with all supplements (contamination, not the right concentration, etc.). Floyd’s targets athletes and thus tests heavily (bc THC is a banned substance under the WADA code).

    • coffee

      I have trouble sleeping, and I find that CBD gummies help me fall asleep and stay asleep. My husband thinks it’s a placebo, but hey, what do I care as long as I’m sleeping? *shrug*

      • Anon

        I have anxiety spirals that interfere with sleeping and this is intriguing. Unfortunately my workplace drug tests. I assume this would show up?

        • Keeks

          It should not show up if your drug test is for THC and you use CBD that contains 0% THC.

    • Anon on this

      My SO started taking it for anxiety, and has seen a noticeable difference – it’s easier for him to respond to emails & phone calls, for example. I was having terrible cramps, and tried some on my tamp0n, and let me tell you, it is life-changing! Seriously, the cramps melted away. Highly recommend.

      • emeralds

        My SIL and FIL both swear by CBD oil. I took some for a few weeks during a really rough patch over the winter, and it did help with the anxiousness I was feeling. It wasn’t a miracle cure—I’d equate it to the benefit of a nice long run or a good yoga class—but it did help take the edge off the spikes of anxiety. I don’t know if it was a placebo affect or not, and to be honest I don’t really care. It helped. Didn’t feel high or anything at all.

    • Rainbow Hair

      I am pretty sure there are some decently-proven uses — I haven’t read the literature in ages, but I recall reading about Charlotte’s Web, for example, and how it helped seizure patients. Plenty of plants *work* on our minds and bodies (coffee really does wake people up! opium really does relieve pain!) so I don’t think the fact that it’s a plant (derivative) alone should be reason to mistrust it.

    • Keeks

      I use some of the Sagely Naturals products that contain CBD, including the headache roll-on and the recovery spray. The former is awesome and really helps with slight headaches (from caffeine, sugar, mild stress). The latter is a game-changer if you exercise or have mild muscle/joint pain. I spray it on sore areas and find it really helps me go to sleep when I’m super sore. My mom has moderate to severe arthritis and uses it to some relief, however, it’s not sufficient for her to feel pain-free.

  16. Anon

    How do you get your spouses to go to couples’ therapy or to even talk about the marriage? About two weeks ago, my husband and I got into an argument, it turned into a shouting match, and he left. He emailed several hours later to say he was moving out. For days, he refused to communicate with me other than via email or text message and this was only with regard to our child. We did talk about some of our grievances via email several days later. After a week, he sent me a text to say he was coming home because he had to be there for our child.

    He came back and is acting like nothing ever happened. I have tried to schedule a time to talk about “us” which he asked to postpone. It has been over a week. This is not working for me, but I am at a loss about what to do.

    • Anon

      Divorce. This kind of behavior is emotionally abusive and totally unacceptable. And don’t think you should stay in this kind of marriage just for your child. I’m not sure how old your child is, but anyone older than a toddler is going to notice for sure that daddy’s moving in and out and mommy and daddy aren’t speaking.

      • Senior Attorney

        Yup. This kind of unilateral fit-throwing would be a deal-breaker for me. (Actually, come to think of it, it was a deal-breaker for me. But only after 15 long, bad years. Don’t be like me.)

    • Veronica Mars

      Sounds like he’s setting up for a narrative of “I didn’t want to stay in the marriage, but I came back because I care about the kids. It was MY WIFE that ended things.” I would start getting your affairs in order. In the meantime, you can give him two options: divorce or you work on the marriage by going to therapy and being communicative (or whatever steps you think are warranted). Repeat ad nauseam. So if he comes back with the narrative that you ended things, you can say, “I always gave you two choices, divorce or working on the marriage. You chose not to work on the marriage, so we divorced.”

    • Idea

      Wow. Not sure if couples’ therapy would help if he doesn’t want to go or even acknowledge a problem.
      Get yourself a lawyer and a therapist, in that order.
      And a support network for your kid.
      Good luck.

      • Senior Attorney

        In fact, couples therapy is contra-indicated when one of the partners is abusive, which is what your husband is being when he gives you the silent treatment. By all means go to therapy yourself, though. It will help.

    • Unwilling spouse

      Do you go to therapy by yourself? I was pretty resistant to therapy, so my husband went by himself to figure out why he was so unhappy with our marriage. (I was of the mindset that, “It’s fine, you just need to stop micromanaging me.”) H e would tell me what they talked about and his thoughts. Then one day he said, “My therapist thinks that it would be helpful if you came for a session.” So I did and it was helpful and I kept going every other session or so-no concrete solutions, but there was something about an objective ear that was good for us. Either way, the objective ear and outside perspective is helpful, I think, even without your partner there. It helps clarify things. For my husband, he realized when push comes to shove he didn’t want a divorce, even though his therapist kept suggesting it.

    • Anon

      Voice of dissent.

      There may be other details that tender this advice invalid, but I think there is a lot of value to licking wounds and getting things settled (by email, if necessary) in a way that doesn’t devolve into a screaming match.

      I will also point out that if a woman left for a week after a screaming match and then wanted back in to the marriage, most people here would support her and be horrified at the suggestion that she were emotionally abusing her husband.

      I don’t know what was done or said during that screaming match, but you need to consider what you said, how you said it, and what he said and how he said it. This will tell you how you fight as a couple, and whether one party insisted on pushing buttons and escalating, or if this is a both people problem.

      • Go for it

        I would not support her either. Giving the silent treatment is abuse as is screaming. Period. Gender irrelevant.

      • Anon

        I really disagree. I don’t think the majority of posters here would condone a woman leaving after a screaming match, going no contact with her spouse/child for a week and then showing up and telling her spouse she only returned for the child (which is basically another way of saying I don’t love you anymore). They might not speak as rudely (“DTMFA” etc) to a poster who said she’d done this, but I think it’s a real stretch to say they’d be supportive of a woman in this situation or encourage her to stay married. A woman can absolutely emotionally abuse a man (can physically abuse a man too, fwiw, although I’d agree that’s much less common) and I would say this behavior is emotional abuse regardless of the genders of the parties involved. Leaving to cool down after a fight and then being ready and willing to talk through things the next day with love and respect is VERY different than what the OP described.

          • Anon

            He communicated only about the child. That’s being a co-parent, not a husband or partner. As far as the marriage is concerned, he was no contact.

          • Anonymous

            He also talked about the fight with her “We did talk about some of our grievances via email several days later”

        • Anonymous

          “being ready and willing to talk through things the next day with love and respect ”

          This seems pretty optimistic. When it’s a big enough fight that someone needs to take a break outside the house for a few hours, they’re not going to be a calm and loving place to discuss it the next day. That’s just not realistic.

          • Anon

            No, I know what it means. I was just trying to say that while some of the advice was very harsh to her husband (correctly, imo!!) and might have been delivered more gently if the roles were reversed, the core advice would be the same – this is not an acceptable way to treat your spouse.

        • Senior Attorney

          It’s not so much the screaming fight as the subsequent silent treatment.

          • Anonymous

            Our therapist told us not to continue fights or try to resolve things when we were still angry. Refusing to talk about the subject of a fight is not ‘the silent treatment’. Our worst fights have been when one of us pushed the other to talk about something before we were ready. Sometimes that meant it waited a week until we were at the safe space of the therapist’s office. He was still communicating with her about care of their child.

          • Anon

            Yeah, there’s a lot more than one screaming fight here. A screaming fight, a move out of the family home, a long period of silent treatment, a continuing refusal to discuss what happened/go to therapy, and, upon his eventual return, a statement that he only returned for the sake of the child. I think the latter is probably the worst of all to me – I don’t how to interpret this as anything other than him saying but for the child he’d leave her, and I think that’s a horrifically cruel thing to say to a spouse you want to stay married to. Husband and I have had some screaming fights, I would never describe him as emotionally abusive. This feels emotionally abusive to me. But regardless of whether or not you want to apply that very loaded label, it’s certainly behavior that would be unacceptable to me from my spouse.

          • Anonymous

            When was the long period of silent treatment? He didn’t want to talk about the subject of the fight when he moved back in but they discussed it that as well as child related issues via email.

            I’m not defending him but my definition of ‘silent treatment’ is totally refusing to speak or communicate with someone and I don’t see when he did that other than the first few hours after he left the house and I don’t think of a ‘several hours’ as a long period of silent treatment.

          • Anon

            It’s fair to table the discussion of the fight for later, or say you don’t want to rehash until you’re in a therapist’s office or whatever, but I think it’s a huge stretch to say he didn’t give her the silent treatment just because they occasionally corresponded via email about their kid. He moved out, refused to see her or speak to her on the phone and refused to discuss anything except their child. It sounded from the OP like the contact about the kid was “Who is picking kid up from daycare on Tuesday?” Not “I love you and kid & am committed to our family. ” Discussing child logistics is necessary when a child has two parents and all of the divorced parents I know can civilly discuss kid logistics via email, so I really don’t give him any points as a husband for doing that. He didn’t want to go to therapy, he didn’t give her a time period in which he thought he’d be ready to speak to her again, he didn’t want to have any contact with her that wasn’t about the kid…that’s silent treatment, to me anyway.

          • Anonymous

            I’m not sure where you are getting that he refused to talk about anything except the kid – OP said “We did talk about some of our grievances via email several days later”.

            Maybe it’s a generational thing but I don’t think talking on the phone vs. texting is a difference.

          • Anon

            “Our therapist told us not to continue fights or try to resolve things when we were still angry. Refusing to talk about the subject of a fight is not ‘the silent treatment’. Our worst fights have been when one of us pushed the other to talk about something before we were ready. Sometimes that meant it waited a week until we were at the safe space of the therapist’s office. He was still communicating with her about care of their child.”

            EXACTLY.

            Also, as someone who has been abused, this whole “moving out equals silent treatment equals abuse” thing is just whacked. Get a grip, ladies.

          • Anon

            She said he refused to communicate with her about anything but the child for several days (“For days, he refused to communicate with me other than via email or text message and this was only with regard to our child.”) You can be not ready to discuss the specifics of a fight for several days, but you should be communicating with your spouse – as a spouse, not just as your child’s other parent – during that time. I consider no contact except about a human being you’re responsible for to be the silent treatment. Fine if you don’t, but it’s not a crazy position to take.

          • Anon

            Anon at 2:57 nails it. Our contact during the week he was gone was of the child logistics sort. I made several attempts to suggest we have a discussion, which were all rebuffed or rejected as he was not “prepared to have a discussion yet.” The day before he came home is when he sent an email about why he had been unhappy. I responded, suggested couples therapy and that was it, no further conversation or even acknowledgement of the things we had communicated. He came home and plans to postpone the conversation indefinitely as far as I can tell. I certainly feel like if it weren’t for our kid, he would have stayed gone.

            He isn’t totally giving me the silent treatment as in not speaking a word to me. He chats about other things as if we are friends or on good terms. It’s quite disorienting.

          • Anonymous

            Then you need to be clear about what you want. Book a couples counsellor appointment when you are both available – e.g. one evening and book a sitter – and tell him you will be attending and you expect him to attend. Even if you end up divorced, you will need to be able to co-parent so communication is key.

      • Anon

        While I tend to agree with you, my biggest issue is that he isn’t addressing the problem. I am good with him coming back to the marriage, but not the same way it has been going. I am committed to therapy and am doing individual counseling.

    • Anonymous

      Was this a one time thing or is your marriage struggling over all? If it’s a one time thing, I’d be inclined to give more leeway. If he didn’t grow up in a family that dealt with conflict in a healthy manner then he may not know how to deal with it. As functional adult, he needs to take responsiblity to learn.

      Email seems to work based on what you’ve written. I would send him an email stating that it is not okay to pretend like this didn’t happen and that you propose xyz time to discuss what happened (either with or without a therapist) and if that time does not work, he needs to reply before he goes to bed with a time that does work.

      To be clear, what he did is 100% not okay but I wouldn’t immediately jump to divorce if this is out of character for him.

    • Anon

      Who moves out over one screaming argument? I would wonder if he has some other reason he wants to leave and is using this as an excuse.

      • Anon

        +1. Quite frankly, I would assume he has a mistress and that’s where he went when he moved out and explains why he’s so unwilling to work on their marriage. He wants an out, and is hoping OP will give it to him.

    • Anonymous

      Try therapy. Doesn’t sound like you’ve asked him to do couples counselling yet. I’m surprised at all the people saying divorce after one nasty fight and zero couples counselling. That’s a pretty life changing decision.

      • Anon

        He refuses to do counseling and believes nothing is wrong or needs fixing. Good grief, nobody is saying to divorce because of one argument. He’s totally unwilling to address their issues.

        • Anonymous

          But where did OP say that he refused to do counselling?

          He didn’t want to talk to her about the issue (she hasn’t specified what the issue was and I do think that matters), but she didn’t say that she asked him to do counselling and that he refused, only that he wasn’t ready to talk about the subject of the fight when she wanted to. They did communicate about the subject of the fight in emails.

  17. Veronica Mars

    Does anyone have any Halston Heritage dresses? Do they run TTS? I’m normally a 6-8 in regular brands but looking at the size chart I’d be a 10 or 12. Is it typical small designer sizing?

  18. Anonymous

    I’m interviewing someone today who has gaps between every role she’s ever had over the past 15 years. Some are a few months, others are a year.

    I want to make sure she’s not getting fired/managed out/whatever time and time again. It’s 8 different jobs so there’s something going on. But I want to ask it in a way that says “I’m open to a totally reasonable explanation, but I have to ask…”

    • Idea

      Just ask. “why did you leave this job?”
      “You do have gaps on your resume… can you talk about those?”

      • Idea

        If you can’t be direct when asking questions in a job interview, when can you? It’s the interviewee’s job to circumvent or spin the bad stuff, it’s your job to ask or phrase until you get the answer you want.

    • Anon

      If the jobs are in different states, consider that she might be a military spouse. “You do have gaps on your resume… can you talk about those?” is the neutral, open-ended way of getting to whatever her answer is.

      • Anonymous

        I actually thought of that- but they’re all in one stature except the last where I know she moved for her husband’s job.

        And yes, I know how to be direct but I want to ask it in a way that doesn’t put her on the defensive.

        • Idea

          Having been a job seeker in this situation, I think she expects the question and won’t be defensive; hopefully she’ll be able to explain.
          You could add a “I have a concern about your resume gaps…” or “as an employer, I’m concerned about your short-term stints…” if you want to. Maybe they weren’t W-2 jobs but were I-9?

          • Anon

            +1 to the first sentence — She’s probably fully expecting the question and has an answer ready to go. If she doesn’t, that should give you pause for a whole other reason (i.e., lack of preparation)!

    • Anon

      Ask very bluntly. It helps you get a straight answer, and it helps her to understand that this looks like a problem.

      She could be a chronic problem. She might have stayed home with kids and only taken high-paying temp jobs, and is now looking to get back into the workforce. She might have moved up steadily through the jobs. She might have been a consultant and worked at different places and lists them weirdly.

      There’s a lot of bad advice out there for job hunters. Make sure she didn’t get bad advice on how to write her resume, get a straight answer, and evaluate accordingly.

    • Anon

      I’m so worried you’re interviewing someone I know who has a work history like this …. and it’s like this because she’s batsh1t crazy and unstable but is able to present well enough to get a job time and time again, and then loses the job because she can’t take orders from anyone and will go so far as to hack into email and send out just insane emails from that person’s account. (Just an example of things she has done to get herself fired.)

      Check references carefully!

  19. Anon

    Does anyone know anything about immigration asylum claims and how immigrants are supposed to find attorneys?

    A minister I know in rural eastern Virginia has happened upon (?) three Central American immigrants seeking asylum. (Apparently they’ve been in the country a couple months now and INS is keeping tabs on them.) The minister asked me about helping them find legal representation (I’m a tax lawyer and know nothing about any of this). Their case is before the immigration court in Arlington, about 2.5 hours from where they are.

    I would love to help point them in the right direction, but I can’t even figure out where to turn. A quick google turned up pro bono organizations in D.C. that require $80 or $100 consultation fees…these people don’t have two pennies to rub together, much less $100. (They had been working under the table, but INS tracked them down and told them they can’t work, so I’m not even sure how they’re finding food to eat.)

    The minister said he’d drive them to wherever, including their court appearances in Arlington. Is the $80/$100 consultation fee standard and the minister should try to raise those funds somehow? From these pro bono orgs’ websites, it seem like many of them are first come, first serve only on the third Tuesday between 1:00 and 1:05 pm…is the best thing to do just make a million phone calls to find one that can help? Or is there some better/easier/more sensical way to do this?

    Thanks for any help.

    • cbackson

      Organizations that offer pro bono immigration assistance are snowed under right now, unfortunately. In a lot of regions, organizations are having to prioritize high-risk situations (kids, people at imminent risk of removal to highly dangerous countries, etc.). If there is a reputable organization that will handle the screening for $80-100, I think that’s the best bet – that organization will likely refer them to pro bono counsel if they meet the org’s guidelines, or to a low-cost private attorney if not.

      Note that my experience is that most orgs will only refer asylum applicants to pro bono counsel if they believe the applicant has a credible claim and decent chance of success. Pro bono attorneys are a limited resource, unfortunately.

    • AnonInHouse

      If you’re on FB, join the group Lawyer Moms of America, or the subgroup Lawyer Moms of America — Virginia and post the same question there. I think that group is dedicated to exactly these types of issues.

    • Anon

      Do you know the grounds upon which asylum would be sought? Lots of pro bono organizations specialize in certain types of cases, so that could help you find the right organization to go to.

    • Anonymous

      Contact the legal aid in their county. If they can’t help, ask who can. They will have a referral. Also, INS hasn’t existed for several decades. Its alphabet soup now. EOIR under DOJ runs Immigration Court, where ICE under DHS will be prosecuting, and USCIS processes applications (also under DHS).

    • Anon

      Hogar Hispano
      For a complete list, search for U.S. DOJ Executive Office of Immigration Review Office of Legal Access Programs List of ProBono Service Providers
      That will bring you to a guide by state

  20. Anon

    Best places to order glasses and contacts online? They don’t have to be from the same place. I’ve been wearing both for a long time so no major concerns about anything in particular. I didn’t like my new eye doctors office so don’t want to order from them. I did LensCrafters a while ago and wasn’t a fan.

      • Anon

        I want to love Warby Parker but I’ve ordered glasses to try on at home about 4 times over the last 6 years and they’ve never looked good on me. They’re just not right for my face.

    • busybee

      I order my contacts from Costco. I got glasses at Costco too, but not online. Warby Parker runs big, even the ones they claim are for narrow faces (though I wear kids’ glasses so I may just be an outlier).

    • Away Game

      We order contacts from Walmart. Easy and they deliver to my front door really quickly.

    • Anon

      Zenni for glasses. Warby Parker is best for people that don’t need nose pads and/or have European noses (i.e. prominent nose bridges). Zenni has better variety for that.

    • Anonymous

      I have been ordering optical frames from RueLaLa and then having an optician put in lenses. I tried Felix and Iris, but the frame quality isn’t great and the glass smudges.

  21. Anon

    Could use the Hive’s opinion on this: I have a large Longch*mp Tote in black that I have used a ton for the threeish years I’ve had it. It fits my laptop in a sleeve and small (letter size) files so I don’t need to change bags for a quick hearing. I can also put pretty much anything in it when I travel. Overall, I wouldn’t be looking for an update or replacement but the bottom corners are worn and I’m worried it’s looking a bit sloppy for work use at this point. Should I just get a new one? Is there something else a bit different that I should consider?

    • Longchamp Love

      I LOVE my black Longchamp for all the same reasons. I like being organized and hate that there aren’t more pockets but honestly the Longchamp is the lightest, easiest, classiest, best bag I have for easy transport between home and work or on a trip. I’ve used Coach and Kate Spade black totes but they didn’t zip and weren’t as light and easy to care for. I haven’t personally tried this but a friend told me that you can send your Longchamp back to the maker one time in each Longchamp’s life and they’ll fix the bottom corners for you.

      • Anon

        Yes, I’m the same about wishing it had more pockets, but, honestly, using a small bag for my make-up, meds, and such has been nearly as good.

        Thanks for the repair tip, I’ll give them a call!

    • givemyregards

      The consensus around here tends to be that these bags skew too young and you should upgrade to something else (or the all leather version), but I’ve never found something that I loved as much – I’ve bought an returned probably a half dozen bags (many recommended here) and at the end of the day just buy another LC tote. My last one had the same issue with the corners and I just took a sewing machine to it (flip inside out, do a few quick stitches just inside of the worn holes and ta da! the corners aren’t as crisp but they’re not as frayed anymore and look just fine to me) which bought me maybe another year or two before I finally bought a new one.

      • Anon

        Thanks for the tip, I’d thought about doing that but hadn’t actually dumped it out to check out the interior structure. My mom is great at sewing and repairs but is always super anxious she’ll mess something up–my thinking is if it’s better than it was then it’s a win!

      • Anon

        And, I’m the same about coming back around to the LC. I have three other tote bags stashed by my desk, a very large nylon Tory Burch tote, a flat Mark and Graham bag that fits pretty much only a laptop, and a ~$50 faux leather reversible tote from Nord–I have basically quit using any of them unless I need more space for work stuff than I can get in my LC.

      • Anon

        Thanks, that’s the sort of recommendation I was looking for. Didn’t realize the price point was under $200–good to know.

        • Anon

          I have the structured tote and the zipper tote. I love them both but if you’re used to the Longchamp you may like the zipper better.

    • lawsuited

      I loved my Longchamp during law school – the perfect size and so light! But it didn’t have enough pockets and definitely read young. I now carry a Lo & Sons OMG and it ticks all the boxes – light, easy to clean, lots of pockets and looks put-together.

      • Anon

        Thanks, that’s another good rec.

        I hear everyone about it reading young, but I sort of…don’t care? I’m almost 37 (ugh, I hate the 7s birthdays) and am at the point that if I still look young, that’s not a terrible thing because I don’t act young and I certainly know my sh*t better than many in my practice area who are in their 50s (I’m an attorney but my practice area is one that many pursue as a semi-retirement; hard eye roll).

      • Cat

        Don’t feel bad about continuing to carry a LP. They’re popular for a reason — lightweight, zipper, the leather trim looks and feels nice. I probably wouldn’t carry one as my work tote for Important Meetings because they do read less formal, but for everyday I don’t really care. The OMG looks more like a mini-suitcase than a sleek tote to me.

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