Coffee Break: Berkeley Bag

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1. In a situation where a small company is forced to consider layoffs (due to DOGE), what is most fair: mandatory hours reductions for all or layoffs for a few? We’re having a strategy meeting on Friday and advance talk shows that many are conflicted about how to handle this. In addition, some of the people who would score worse based purely on performance are the ones on more stable projects – doesn’t feel very fair to lay them off to give the higher-performers more work, but it’s on the table. Any ideas for making this bad process any more equitable and effective?

   1. Can you offer voluntary layoffs, and then reduce hours for however many are left / however much more you have to cut?

      FWIW, if you study the Great Depression, the employee loyalty to companies that cut hours vs laying off was through the roof.

   2. For the mandatory hours reductions, does that mean that you’re turning full time works into part time, and therefore changing benefits as well?

      If everyone gets to stay full time/keep the FT benefits with the mandatory hours reductions, I think that’s more fair.

      If not and you’d just be turning everyone into PT workers with less benefits, then I go with the layoffs.

   3. Either way, your high performers are leaving as soon as they find new jobs.

   4. Layoffs, by far. If I wanted a part time job, I’d get one.

      You’re denying people the chance to receive unemployment benefits if you just reduce their employment terms.

   5. Assuming a less than 20% time reduction and keeping benefits, this is better than layoffs. If it’s more than that, it’s less clear what to do. At that point, I’d try to make sure that people who preferred to quit than work part time could actually be laid off and be eligible for unemployment.

      1. Initial talk is moving people to 75% time, or possibly 80. Some have already done this voluntarily.

      2. +1.

   6. Keep full benefits, cut hours.

      Bring unemployed is crushing. It’s easier to find a job when you already have one. In America, health care coverage is hideously expensive when your employer isn’t covering it.

      If you have 80% of your salary, that’s a huge hit… but people can use those extra 8 hours per week to find a full time job. Some will leave, and you can strategically offer full time work to your high performers.

      You can also start by asking who wants to go to 60% or 80%, full benefits.

   7. I think a reduction of hours/salary is the more palatable option IF it’s meant to be temporary and there is a strategy in place to get staff back to full hours/pay.

      Otherwise, offer some sor

      1. sort of voluntary departure, and if not enough takers, layoffs so as to not unnecessarily drag things out.

      2. Reduced hours imo only works when there’s a relatively stable, time-bound plan for getting people back to full. Like, if you have a guaranteed nongovernment grant starting in Q3 and just need to bridge to that, I’d do it. If 80% of your funding is doge-d for the foreseeable future, I think you need layoffs, sorry.

   8. I know this isn’t likely to be a popular solution, but you can also consider temporary salary or wage reduction regardless of hours. The upside is people keep their benefits.

      Promise a review of the reductions every X months. And if the reductions ended up being unnecessary, make people whole with bonuses.

      1. An alternative is to do this from the top down — meaning everyone in the top X tier(s) takes the pay cut, and the lower level/entry level people don’t. Please do whatever you can to ensure that your full-time low wage people are least affected.

   9. My company cut everyone’s pay drastically and furloughed a few people during COVID but that only seemed reasonable because it was only for a few months and the goal was to ramp back up after the shutdown.

   10. Do the layoffs instead of cutting hours but try to extend health insurance as much as you can if you can. Cutting hours means it’s harder for everyone to pay their bills. They took a full time job to have full time employment.

       In my experience, when hours were cut (we had to go from 5 days to 4 when we lost several clients at once and biz dev was weak) the workload wasn’t cut equally –so you were still working just as hard without as much pay and without the time to spend on the job hunt (and awkwardness of not having references at the ready). No one wins. Especially in this instance where there isn’t promise of going back fairly quickly as soon as a big client lands or what have you.

   11. During COVID, I worked for a university that I believed handled this well. They (1) implemented a hiring freeze; (2) offered severance for those who volunteered to be laid off; and (3) reduced pay across the board for exempt employees earning $75,000 a year or more without cutting their hours. They also increased PTO accrual for those impacted by the pay reduction.

   12. In 2008 the state agency I worked for did mandatory furloughs. So we all had a mandatory, unpaid day off every pay period. It was a disaster for people in court all the time, because the courts weren’t closed. It was temporary, but painful especially for lower paid employees where every dollar really impacts their budget. No one quit over it though.

       1. Wow, every pay period?! That would be tough. I worked at a state agency that had mandatory furloughs a few years back but we just had to take 2 days off in a year.

2. Has anyone purchased rugs from Revival Rugs? I’m looking at wool rugs there, including but not limited to Moroccan rugs. Is the quality any good?

   My frame of reference is crate and barrel, pottery barn/west elm wool rugs, which I’ve been happy with the quality. I was unimpressed by a Quince wool rug that I purchased.

   1. Oh, I can actually speak to this. I purchased one of their washable rugs with the plush pad underneath. I really, really like it. I’ve also gotten about a million compliments on how comfortable it is. And if it matters to you, all stains/spills/paw prints that I’ve gotten on it have cleaned up with zero issues. I would recommend them.

   2. I don’t know, but I’ve seen people complain their one-of-a-kind rugs aren’t actually unique since they continue to be sold after people buy them.

3. I have a child who is a junior in high school and my best friend – who lives in a different state – has a child who is a sophomore in high school. This friend and I are close and we talk multiple times a week over the phone. Lately this friend is very focused on getting her child into a very selective college and she is using me as a sounding board on topics like best sat test prep, selecting a college counselor, whether her kid should pursue x or y activity, which pre-college summer program, which specific class within the summer program, best podcasts for advice, etc. I know this is all out of concern for her child, but I am going through all of the same stuff (and one year ahead) and I’m finding that some of her things are throwing me off kilter and making me anxious and question some decisions that we made a long time ago (like which high school for our child). She does ask me questions but they are phrased in a “would you let your kid go to X college? why not?” when I have no idea where my kid will get in and I am finding it all stressful. Asking people here how to deal with this as she is a good friend and I don’t think a true friend should tell a friend not to discuss something that’s on their mind.

   1. “Oh gosh, Susan, you’re stressing me out!” “Can we talk about something different this evening?”

      1. Hm, I had inserted a *laugh* in between the two sentences, but it vanished. Laughing it off makes it not so serious.

         1. Once I inserted “blushes” between two symbols (greater than less than) and it vanished.

   2. How many of the multiple phone calls a week are like this?
      Does she listen well to you, when you process stuff, or is this becoming a one-way interaction where she processes about college stuff and you listen and offer advice?

      1. It will happen for multiple conversations in a row (like 2-3 times a week) and then she’ll focus on some other stuff for a few weeks or a month and then we’ll go back to the same topic. We both have siblings and mutual friends whose kids are seniors or freshmen in college, so any news about them (e.g. someone getting in early somewhere or someone getting off of a waitlist) causes her to get back on this mission. She is a good listener when I talk about things, but I try not to get all worked about this stuff because my kids already feel the pressure of getting into a good college so I don’t want to add to that, and I am usually busy with work and other things (she has an easier job).

   3. I have a tiger mom frenemy who was like this when our kids were applying to college. I mostly just avoided her or smiled and nodded. I have an actual friend where the dynamic is the opposite–I care more than they do–and I purposely try to dial it back around them. If this is really your best friend, I think you could have a heart-to-heart with her about how your approaches are different.

   4. I think you can tell her this is stressing you out and you can’t talk about it right now

   5. I would reduce the amount of discussion about the subject.

      ‘Not sure, what I would do as I’m not really familiar with that college. I meant to ask if you have summer plans – we’re visiting xyz. Are you going anywhere’

      Or ask about the book she was reading, or her hobbies or anything that’s a non- college question.

   6. Use your words and tell her you don’t want to talk about this because you find it stressful. If she ignores you, scale back o the phone calls.

   7. If she’s your best friend you should be able to use your words and tell her she’s stressing you out!

   8. Sounds like she is just picking your brain for ideas and looking to you for advice bc you are one year ahead of her with your kid. It does not sound like she is being weirdly competitive, or humble bragging about her kid.

      Option 1 – tell her it stresses you out and you want to talk about something else

      Option 2 – continue answering her questions, and be comfortable with the path your kid is on. Trust that every kid has their own path. Reframe it for yourself that this is not a competitive rat race. Also, this is an excellent opportunity to model for your kid how to handle peer comparisons during college application season.

      If you haven’t already, read The price you pay for College. It has been recommended here a few times.

      1. OP here – thank you for the helpful advice and for the book recommendation. I have not seen it recommended here and I will look into it.

   9. Does she post on here all the time about her anxieties about her kids’ future? Asking for a friend.

      1. Hahaha

4. I am the OP of the midlife crisis post this AM. Thank you to all those who replied. Sorry I couldn’t respond throughout the day, as I work in a field which many consider volunteer work (think nonprofit for homeless folks in a city really battling with it) and as some of you all astutely pointed out: we are committed to a DINK life (so yeah crisis is not about having kids), already have 2 pets ( a dog and a cat, joy of my life) and I really do find my work very meaningful and though I might sometimes dream of a higher paying job, I love my career for the meaning it provides me. As another commenter pointed out: It is not quite boredom but rather dreading menopause/ aging parents/the economy /losing friends to having kids etc. Also thinking about what next and how to live the next decades of my life especially when NOT centered around children like EVERY SINGLE OTHER person around me. I loved the book 4000 weeks a year back and was thinking there might be other more specific resources/books etc out there.

   Thank you again to everyone for taking the time to respond, especially as I realize I should have added more details.

   1. The 4000 weeks author has a new book called Meditations for Mortals you might like!

   2. Maybe therapy to explore why you’re so terrified of other people having kids? (I cannot imagine “dreading losing friends to having kids”, for example…)

      1. I don’t know that I dreaded losing my friends to having kids, but once they had them, our lives were so different that they did disappear for many years, or our time was very limited. Now that all of those children are college age or older, it’s been amazing to reconnect, on both sides.

   3. Late post, but Learning to Love Midlife by Chip Conley is really good

5. Seeking input for one-week honeymoon destination ideas! My fiance and I unexpectedly have to cut our honeymoon time in half but would still like to take some time away for 6-7 days. We are interested in international destinations in Europe/countries bordering the Med. We have traveled extensively to Canada, Mexico, Southeast Asia, and Australia. The only places I’ve been in Europe are the UK/Ireland/Portugal/Belgium.

   Interests include: surfing, hiking, history, shopping, good food (location doesn’t need to have all, just some of these). I was thinking Spain and the Azores but is that too much for a week?

   Thanks!

   1. where are you flying from? what time of year? what kind of trip do you want? Like a touring trip? Relaxing trip? This might be kind of cliche and definitely doesn’t have surfing, but I might consider Paris and do day trips from there. It’s a beautiful city, you can kind of plan 1-2 activities a day and meander around. I have a friend who just did this for a 10th anniversary trip and they split their stay between hotels in two different parts of the city for some variety. Will you have 6-7 days on the ground or does that include travel time? I would personally probably pick one place and stay there or i’d find it too exhausting. id rather spend more time enjoying and less time engaged in travel. maybe Barcelona?

      1. OOPS, good question – we are flying out of the DC area! That would include travel days so looking for flights on the shorter side. Don’t mind a red eye!

         1. As for your other qs- would be early October, touring trip preferred – thank you!

         2. Look for somewhere with a direct flight or at least direct flight to the destination country plus a short commuter flight (where the commuter flights run almost every hour so even if you miss the flight you’re almost certainly making your final destination the same day). Don’t connect through like Heathrow or really anywhere other than the destination country.

         3. it’s good you don’t mind a redeye because that’s basically the only way to get to Europe… getting home however is usually a lunchtime flight back, landing mid to late afternoon depending.

            I like the suggestion above to just base yourself in Paris. We day-tripped to Reims & Epernay by TGV for a day Champagne tasting and it was something I didn’t know was on my bucket list until it was over.

            October is also a gorgeous time for Italy – Rome without the summer heat and crowds? It will be off season for the Amalfi coast but maybe 2 nights down there just for romantic views?

   2. Spain is enormous, roughly the size of Texas, and has distinct cultures/climates in its cities and regions. My colleague based there flies around the country because driving to customer sites would take too long. I would recommend a mix of Spain and Portugal, but that’s because I like Portugal far better.

   3. Italy. Choose 2-3 cities that interest you.

   4. Pick one or two Greek islands, maybe Crete if you don’t want to island hop with only a week. We did a week in Crete and loved it. Rented a car and split our time between each side of the island. Idk about surfing but we went scuba diving there. Lots of history, palace of Knossos was very cool.

      1. Such a great idea

   5. Recommend just picking one of those rather than trying to cram in two places that are a flight apart into 7 days. The Azores is lovely, but remote so you could easily eat up most of a day traveling between the Azores and Spain, especially if there are travel delays. Plus, if you’re traveling to the US, you’ll lose a ton of time traveling anyway.

      Also, try not to underestimate how draining wedding planning and the wedding day can be. We did a 1k+ km trip for our honeymoon, stopping in a different city every couple days and it was exhausting.

      1. +1 – we took a honeymoon in Spain and Portugal (coming from NYC area airports) and were SO tired. By the time we got to Seville we basically just ate lots of tapas, slept in, and saw 1 ‘touristy’ thing a day and called it good. I envied the couples in our pre cana classes who just went and laid out on a beach for a week!

         1. Counterpoint, we flew to Greece the day after our wedding and weren’t exhausted at all. We did have some time on the islands at the end that was more relaxing but we started in Athens and had no problem with a normal sightseeing pace. And I was in Big Law at the time so work was stressful in the lead up to the wedding. I think this is really personality-dependent. I don’t like moving to a different city each night, but don’t mind an active sightseeing pace during the day.

   6. Spain and the Azores is way too much. Just Portugal
      Would be great. Barcelona and Mallorca to or Minorca

      1. I loved Mallorca but don’t know that I’d recommend it for a honeymoon. It’s a hugely popular family holiday destination with British and German families; every beach we went to was packed with kids. We did go in the summer and maybe it would be less family-centric in the fall but it didn’t really scream romance to me, although it was a lovely island.

   7. If you do chose to go to Spain I’d suggest one or two cities max. The southern cities are definitely more quintessentially ‘Spanish’ than Madrid – maybe Barcelona and Marbella, or Barcelona and Seville?

   8. What time of year? We love the Med in September. There’s a nonstop to Nice from PHL. Pick 1-2 bases along the Riviera and then you can mix and match all our interests other than surfing, really. As a bonus you can get fabulous French AND Italian food!

   9. Spain and the Azores is way too much for a week. I haven’t been to the Azores and my European friends who’ve gone mostly been kind of meh on it , but either Spain or Portugal checks your boxes and has plenty to do for a week. For a week, I like 2 stops max, but both those counties have lots of options. I would also consider Greece although I’m not sure about surfing.

   10. Not super sunny, but how about Iceland? It should be an easy flight from DC. You don’t say what time of year but I was there in July and I loved the midnight sun, also there is great hiking and the restaurant/bar game in Reykjavik is strong. And I feel like a week would be a good amount of time to do it justice.

       1. Iceland involves a lot of driving and moving around pretty much every night to see the country well and that sort of trip isn’t super romantic in my opinion. The food also deserves its bad reputation. If you want a hiking focused honeymoon, I’d recommend basing yourself at a nice hotel in the Swiss, Italian or French Alps with great food and lots of nice day hiking.

   11. not Europe, but Morocco meets the rest of your criteria, including being on the Med. There are direct flights DC to Casablanca! Casablanca was my least favorite of the cities I visited, but it was very easy to get around by train in-country.

   12. If you’re ok with visiting despite their strict abortion laws (I would be unless I was actively TTC at the time but YMMV), Malta checks all your boxes perfectly.

   13. Royal Air Maroc has a DC-Casablanca non-stop if you have any interest in Morocco. I would imagine there’s surfing there and it definitely has the rest of the things you listed.

       1. Morocco is wonderful. My friend Nancy has a great tour company there: https://opendoorsmorocco.com/

       2. I tried to suggest Morocco and my comment was eaten, but seconding this! I wouldn’t spend more than a night in Casablanca, but you can easily go south for surfing or north for more Mediterranean flavor. The inter-city trains are easy to navigate if you don’t want to do a little hop flight.

   14. I don’t think it has surfing (maybe?), but I think Italy covers all the other interests. And you can never go wrong with Italy.

   15. Might be an unpopular opinion, but if you want kids (especially soonish) I’d be inclined to go somewhere that’s not Italy, Spain, or Portugal. Those countries are all incredibly family-friendly and Europe is a really doable family trip from the east coast, even with little kids.

       I think Morocco or Turkey would be good. They aren’t that much farther (closer in the case of Morocco), but they’re a bit harder to travel to with really little ones. You could also look at South America, which has a lot of areas with good food and nature and is doable from the US in a week.

       1. Late to answer, but I cannot believe no one suggested Croatia! It has absolutely gorgeous seaside locations and Dubrovnik is an amazing historical city. We did an anniversary trip there and I highly recommend!

          1. oh man, Dubrovnik was a surprise highlight of a med cruise I went on in my early 20s and I’ve been wanting to go back and spend more time there ever since.

6. I live in Berkeley. I should want this bag but I don’t! :) My daughter would love it, though.

   These shoulder bags that are supposed to sit right under the arm annoy me. I think I am too hooked on cross bodies.

   1. I will wear a crossbody or a backpack. I need my arms!

      1. Same. I don’t have little kids to wrangle anymore (I can’t tell you how many times a tote bag slid down my arm and bonked a kid when I was holding their hand) but now I have dogs! Crossbody for the win.

         1. Agree! I hate feeling the slow slide starting up, adrenaline as I juggle things from hand to hand to try to prevent a coffee sploosh, shoulders shifting crooked in an attempt to deny gravity, and the inevitable jerk as all attempts fail.

      2. only backpack for me. My neck and shoulders are messed up enough with a one sided bag.

   2. I am opposite. So happy these are back in style!

      1. SAME! I have been waiting for these to come back :)

7. I have asked here a couple of times about salads or prepared veggies that keep well in the fridge. I’ve made Smitten Kitchen’s one pan farro/tomato dish a number of times, and it’s great.

   I think one of you shared this link but I finally made a couple of salads from it and i’m here to say the black bean and cucumber salad is a winner, as is the honey mustard broccoli number.

   In case this helps anyone! I wanted things I could just grab when I’m hungry, as I work from home with irregular hours. This is basically in lieu of hitting crackers or chips or other snack food.

   https://www.budgetbytes.com/refrigerator-salads-for-eating-healthy/

   1. Melissa Clark’s Farro with Spicy Sausage and Apple Cider is absolutely perfect for this. My two teenagers love it as do I.

8. I’m so bummed that Elizabeth Hurley – who is stunning and financially independent – is dating Billy Ray Cyrus, who appears to have some kind of substance addiction and is unkind to his own kids. I just have to vent my sadness to the ‘rettes.

   1. Just because a woman is beautiful and rich doesn’t mean she’s a good person.

      1. And in fact she’s a pretty terrible person. Birds of a feather, imo.

   2. She could do so much better than him!

      1. Even for the most beautiful 59 year old woman in the world, pickings are slim!

         1. Agree! She probably has the money and patience to put up with a gorgeous, much younger man a la Tilda Swinton.

   3. She is a grown woman who gets to decide who she wants to date. It is not like who he is or what he believes has been hidden from her. I am happy to let her handle her own life and make her own decisions.

   4. Even rich beautiful women are allowed to make questionable choices.

   5. She has a history of questionable dating choices. Looks isn’t everything (and she’s gorgeous but skews trashy…I get it, she’s in an attention grabbing industry)

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