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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Short-sleeved sweaters are one of my favorite options for spring and summer when I’m going from the warm outdoors to the overly-air-conditioned indoors. This collared version from Talbots is a new all-time favorite. Even if I’m wearing leggings on the bottom, a collared top always makes me feel pulled-together when I’m appearing in a videoconference.
The Biscayne Blue color looks beautifully spring-y, but the white and ivory would be great neutrals.
The sweater is $99.50 at Talbots (but be on the lookout for sales) and comes in misses sizes XS–XL and petite sizes P–XL.
Unfortunately, this sweater is now only available in 3X in plus petite and has sold out in plus sizes — but for another option, try this style (in a warmer blue) from The Drop, which is $19.53 and goes up to 5X.
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Support
A colleague of mine is going through a personal tragedy. I consider her a friend. Beyond letting her know I’m here for her, what else can I do? Someone suggested a meal gift card or similar, but we are at an income level where I don’t think that is really a need. I think it might be nice to send a signed card from the team showing support, but we’re remote so I don’t know how to organize it. Suggestions?
Anon
I’d send flowers with a nice note and check in every week or so.
Anonymous
Flowers. A florist can add a card with everyone’s names.
If no flowers for allergies or whatever, maybe send a charcutiere box. Whenever I’ve faced challenging circumstances my appetite disappears and something to snack or pick at that just appears in my house would have been great.
Colette
Doordash or similar gift card with moms email.
Even if you have money it’s good to have permission to just spend a ton of money on takeout.
Curious
+1. We have two tech salaries and treasured every gift card when I was having chemo.
Anon
+1 to the “permission” aspect
Anonymous
+2. Agree so much with this. We have a high HHI and I adore DoorDash GCs because it “forces” you to get take out.
Anonymous
I would find a DoorDash gift card to be a burden. We never use DoorDash because it takes forever, the food is always cold, and the order is always wrong. Figuring out what to order, placing the order, and waiting for the food would be too much for me to deal with in a crisis situation. I’d rather have a homemade lasagne, an Edible Arrangement, a dozen good bagels, or a fruit and cheese basket that I could tuck into with no effort.
Anon
E-card or just sign for the entire team. Flowers. I was hit by a car last week and my team sent me some flowers and a card. It meant a lot.
Anon
I had major surgery one summer and got a card and a gift basket from work. It was meaningful to me. It didn’t go well and needed to have scar removal surgery and then a revision surgery and then another procedure. And . . . crickets. I never changed jobs.
Curious
My work friend and boss chipped in to send the most beautiful bouquet I’ve ever seen right after I was diagnosed with cancer. It was amazing. So yes, this is definitely a viable option.
pugsnbourbon
Anon at 9:09 – I hope you’re doing okay!
Anon
Thanks. Shoulder dislocation. Being one armed is not fun. It’s been a week and the pain is still significant. Hoping for no surgery.
Curious
Ugh. Hope it heals fast.
Anon
I would send a gift basket of snacking foods like cheese, crackers, fruit, etc. from Harry and David or something like that. Part of the reason to give good is not because the recipient can’t afford it but to remove the mental work piece and make sure they are eating. And a card doesn’t have to actually be signed by everyone, you can just write a nice message and sign “your friends at Company” without names.
I generally don’t do flowers if the tragedy is in any way health or death related because watching them wilt and die is really depressing for some people going through that.
Anon
Someone here recommended spoonful of comfort and I sent it to a colleague who was going through a tough time. Got rave reviews and looked like a present along the lines of flowers.
Anon
I would still go with a meal gift card. It’s a sign that you are thinking of them and want to help, not that you think they can’t afford to order food on their own.
Do they have pets? Flowers get recommended a lot, but can be a pretty horrible gift for those with pets. Many flowers are toxic to pets. And my pets will destroy the flowers making a huge mess. If I get flowers, I just throw them away right away. It’s not worth the effort to figure out if they are toxic or to clean up after they are destroyed.
Anon
+1, one of our friends dogs died, and another friend sent flowers….her cat promptly ate the flowers, and she wound up having to take the cat to the emergency vet. it was such a sweet gesture but everyone felt awful.
Anonymous
Harry & David have nice sympathy baskets.
Anon
I think I had this in the 1980s. I may have worn with a loose midi skirt and . . . huarachas (probably from 9 West). I also had a light aqua jumpsuit (not a romper, but a legit jumpsuit, like a plane mechanic but in a faux linen fabric), worn with matching heels.
It was a great time. Not sure I’m up for resurrecting it now tho.
AIMS
I’ve been loving the collared sweaters lately. Bought one on a whim last year and have worn it probably close to 100 times since (it’s a cardigan so sometimes more than once a week). Now I want to get this one from Aritzia (i can’t do elbow sleeves like the one featured): https://www.aritzia.com/us/en/product/clara-sweater/94407.html?dwvar_94407_color=25418
Anonymous
I mean, are you telling us because you had it in the 80s it couldn’t possibly be in fashion now?
Anon
This kind of reply is so tiring.
pugsnbourbon
There’s a pic of my mom wearing something similar right before her wedding in 1980.
There’s also a picture of her on their honeymoon (Smoky Mtns, naturally) wearing an orange, terrycloth, tube-top romper. Full perm. She looks incredible.
Anon
I think this is why I’ve passed on buying one. I’m sure I wore them last time they were “in”
But I’m also sure that whatever shoulder pads they came with, which were likely substantial, would not have been enough for my tastes and I would have added extras.
Anon
When my 98 year old grandmother passed away last fall, I am 100% positive we donated some of these to Goodwill.
Anon
Agree, it looks very dated
Anon
Looks like something my grandma would have worn. Pass.
Cb
Any Thursday triumphs?
My bike finally packed it in (RIP cheapy bike, you served me well) and I hired a bike until I can figure out what I want, and I’m significantly faster. Honestly, I was at the point where I was struggling to keep up with my (admittedly very speedy) 5-year-old because my bike was so heavy and lumbering. It’s so fun to be more confident going up hills and makes me more confident in traffic.
amberwitch
Yay for a bike that lets you have fun!
My Thursday win is that the weather is nice here in Copenhagen, and in just a bit I get to bike home through the most beautiful, blooming nature. Maybe I’ll even meet up with my husband and ride home with him.
Anon
A good quality new-to-you bike is awesome! I hope you have a blast with it!
Anon
Also on the bike topic, I had posted here recently about being unsure how to budget for a larger one-time purchase, in my case a new bike. I’m happy to say that I found an amazing deal on one of my top choice bikes (the company’s lead designer is a woman, too) and was able to get it well within the comfortable end of my budget, which is already increasing the satisfaction for me. It arrives tomorrow!
Anecdata
woohoo! excited for you and glad you got a bike you’re happy with!
Cb
Woohoo! I tried Liv bikes recently and they were so nice, and designed for women’s bodies.
Davis
I love my Liv!
Anon
Thank you both! The brand is Ibis if anyone is interested in what looks like a fantastic lineup of bikes.
anon
I love to hear this! I really want to trade in my cheapy bike for something that’s nicer and more fun to ride, but have had a hard time justifying the expense.
Anon
Me too!!
Anon
A bike, even a really nice bike, costs a fraction of what you’d spend on a car while being better for you and the environment. I love not giving a damn when everyone else has their panties in a twist about gas prices.
Go buy your bike!
Anon
To expand on this, a decent bike is every bit as valid a form of transportation as a car and reframing it as such (rather than an expensive toy) makes the purchase downright sensible.
Yes my daily driver bike cost $2000, but I spend $0 on gas and maybe $200 on parts & service per year. I consider my purchases more carefully when I’m at the store because my capacity to haul things home is a bit less than a car (though still ample enough for a full grocery or Costco run). I don’t need a gym membership.
I’m closer to the pulse of my community outside of a car.
Cb
Yep, I don’t drive so my bike is transport + gym membership. For less than it would cost to insure me (I drive in the US but the UK would treat me like a teenage driver for insurance purposes).
Anon
Do it! I went through the same process a few years ago and convinced myself that my husband and I were fine on our 1990s, 26-inch wheel mountain bikes with rim brakes that were three-time hand-me-downs. Guess what, we almost never rode because they were so not up to the task. We each spent $1500 on modern mountain bikes with disc brakes, larger wheels, and dropper seatposts and now we ride 3-4x a week and love it. Sometimes, getting the gear is key to doing the thing.
Anonymous
Agree on your main message so much – but no shade on 26 inch wheels, please.
I LOVE my 26 inch wheel bike, and it suits my size and biking habits perfectly. The frame on a 26 inch is much more woman friendly than a 29 inch «unisex» bike.
Woods-comma-Elle
I have been putting off doing wills with my SO for ages because it gives me anxiety but have finally just pulled my socks up and done it.
anonshmanon
About to go under contract for our first house. Feels like a huge step but also not as scary as I expected. I think we found the right house that checks a lot of boxes for us.
amberwitch
Congratulations!
Senior Attorney
Woo hoo! Congrats!
Anon
Uhhhh, I thought it was Wednesday today, so I guess not.
pugsnbourbon
Hey, at least you didn’t think it was Friday!
Senior Attorney
I found out yesterday that I have to do a huge repair project on my rental house, and I only have half the money I need in the reserve account. I got home yesterday and told my husband, and he said “go outside and look under the front door mat,” and lo and behold there was a check (which we had been expecting but didn’t know when it would come in) in just the amount needed to cover the other half!
I swear that man is a magician!
Anon
How do you get sums of money under your front door mat? I need to know how to do this.
Senior Attorney
HAHAHA, right? In this case it was a check in an envelope, which had been left there by his law practice bookkeeper!
Anon
One time my husband’s father called him and told him to check the mailbox and there was a $10k check from his only rich family member, an uncle who had apparently decided to gift all his nieces and nephews a one-time payment. It’s the first and to date only inheritance we’ve ever gotten but man it was a great day. It’s been ~10 years and we still joke that we’re slightly disappointed every time we check the mail.
Senior Attorney
GREAT day!
Colette
Any recommends for a comfortable push-up bra that’s not ridiculous.
Done nursing and need some assistance as my body shifts back to normal.
Anon
Look at Soma bras and see if they have something that fits the bill.
Anon
I love my soma bras!
Anon
+1 First time I went into Soma after being done with nursing. The sales associate recommended a non-wired bra that acts a bit like a push-up (I also bought some wired ones for work). It’s extremely comfortable. I think it’s their vanishing 360 wireless bra. So if you have the funds, I’d recommend letting them help you with a fitting and being open to splurging on a wireless bra or two as well.
Anonymous
Natori- get fitted at Nordstrom, I found that very helpful after nursing as I went through like a million size changes and had absolutely no idea what I should be wearing.
Anon
I second Natori. Really comfortable and supportive without adding ridiculous padding. And flattering – both pretty designs and colors and looks good under clothes. Nordstrom almost always has a few models on sale.
Anon
What do you all talk about with mentors? I have a meeting today and was going through my list of topics to discuss. Curious what other people want to get out of mentoring relationships.
Anon
Completely depends on your industry, role, and what you want to get out of your career. Could be what they think is important for you to do to succeed at your organization, how to get those opportunities, how to handle a tricky personal dynamic (wouldn’t raise that until you know the person and trust they’ll keep it in confidence), or their tips on a hard skill (like for a lawyer asking a more seasoned person how they manage experts who are always behind schedule or contentious co-counsel or what have you).
Anon
Forced mentor conversations through formal programs are painful. My best conversations are just natural and talk about what’s going on personally and professionally and have loose advice sprinkled in.
anon
I agree with this. Mentorship is about the relationship, too, and I’ve never found that forcing people together via a program actually works. You have to actually know and like the person.
anon
+2 this is how all of my successful mentor/mentee relationships work.
Anonymous
We have a formal mentorship program within our division. The real value is that it gives us the mentor and the mentee an excuse to spend an hour every few weeks just chatting. Because we are fully remote and expected to be working on projects 100% of the time, we wouldn’t otherwise be able to engage in this way.
In-House Anon
I don’t currently have an assigned mentor, but if I did, I’d be asking for strategies for gaining the trust of a business client team that has historically not had a good relationship with the legal department. I’m newly supporting this team, and for the first time in my 15+ year career, I’m struggling to have them think of me as part of their team, rather than an obstacle to go around.
Anon
The secret here is personal relationships. Go out to coffee individually with key stakeholders to get to know them. No business agenda. Let them know you so you build trust. This won’t happen in formal meetings.
In-House Anon
I’d agree if this weren’t a global team. A company that won’t approve the cost of a train ride to meet my manager in person won’t approve a flight to another continent :)
anon
I’ve been in this position and what I did was set up individual zoom get to know you meetings with all the business leaders and asked them all about what they did, what their biggest challenges were, and how best I could support them. I have regular 1:1 tag-up calls with all the functional business leaders I support to maintain these relationships. It has worked great but can take some time!
Miz Swizz
I’m meeting with a new mentor next week and she sent me some prep questions that I really like. For background, this is a voluntary mentorship program through work where people sign up to be a mentor and/or mentee and the mentee chooses their mentor and reaches out to have a conversation.
1. What motivated you to join the program and what are you hoping to get out of the experience?
2. What part(s) of your current role are you achieving/enjoying? Are there aspects of your role that you’re struggling with and would like to discuss with a colleague outside your immediate team?
Anon.
In the first meeting, I ask about what the mentor is looking for, what they can offer, and what their previous mentoring experience was. That determines how I go about this.
As a mentor, I try to offer my mentees a few options: a) general insights into my industry, b) insights into my area of work, c) talking through career goals. how to define them and structure steps to get there, d) general strategies for job search/networking (this may include resume reviews etc)
I tend to approach my mentor conversations in a similar way. What do I want to get out of the mentorship, and then go from there.
I think it’s also important to understand the difference between mentorship vs sponsorship vs. allyship. If you expect that your mentor will help you make new connections, become more visible in your firm or industry sector, “advertise” you to their network etc I’d consider them more as a sponsor, less as a mentor.
Anonymous
Can anyone provide anecdotes about how counting macros helped them (or didn’t) on their health and fitness journey?
My gym is running a nutrition challenge focused on counting macros, with an extra cost associated to join. I’m about two months into my personal fitness journey. Most of my goals are strength-related, although there is a small weight loss component on my mind. I’ve been doing well with my current program, but am interested in nutrition in general/motivated by challenges. Trying to decide if this one is worth the associated financial cost to join. Thanks!
Anon
I must live under a rock — I was hoping that this was about new ways to use Excel.
Anon
HAHA you’re my people
Anon.
My first thought wet to Excel! Number nerds unite!
Anon.
*went. Jeez.
Anon
Same! haha
Anonymous
I hated it. I refuse to game the system I’m not doing just egg whites to meet my macros I’m not doing protein powder. I found it just a fancy way of restricting calories.
Anon
Same here. It was way too much tracking for me, and at the end of the day I didn’t want to eat a plate of chicken or something because I was short on protein for the day. I know this can be alleviated with planning, but that level of advanced planning doesn’t work for me either. I basically just found it way too fiddly to stick with.
Anonymous
Macros are generally what more strength-minded people count. I love counting macros tbh – it has really changed my thinking about “good” or “bad” calories, and put my focus on meeting protein goals, not how little calories or carbs I can eat. It can be confusing at first because you think you’re trying to precisely get all 3 macros on target; it’s easier if you focus just on protein, then calories, then let fat/carbs fall where they may and you can tweak those two later.
anon
Yes, I think this is the way to do it.
Most of us don’t get enough protein, as we are realizing our needs actually increase with aging. I eat a mostly plant based diet and have a very difficult time getting enough protein and there is no way I will be able to get enough once I’m in menopause without protein supplements. By trying to integrate more high protein snacks during the day, I am essentially never hungry. I don’t count regularly, per se, but am better at knowing generally what I am getting. Don’t count carbs or fat, but generally try not to overeat the carbs that I love!
Anon
I use my Fitbit app to count macros. Lost 30 lbs by tracking macros. It’s easy and once you learn the portions and foods to meet your targets you don’t need to track. Great way to build healthy habits.
Anon
Counting carbs was crucial for my health and fitness journey because I have insulin resistant PCOS and reactive hypoglycemia. Basically learning to manage macros has kept me out of the hospital!
From my perspective, counting macros seems like it would be kind of a bummer for a healthy person with an excellent A1C and stable blood sugar. It also seems like overkill if the goals are things like “get more lean protein” or “eat more filling fats” or “cut back on simple sugars,” all of which are easy to do without actually counting.
Basically if you think your diet could use work, I would take advice from a doctor or at least a dietician before taking advice from a gym. If you just want a fun challenge, something like Whole30 is essentially the same as some medical elimination diets and is designed to be temporary. I’m a big believer that we’re in charge of our diets and there’s nothing inherently disordered about making deliberate choices. My medially restricted diet has improved my relationship with food and is way less disordered than eating haphazardly and ending up sick from food all the time. I also participate in my religion’s fasts to the extent that I am able, and think this can be very healthy behavior.
That said, dietary restrictions and diet tracking can head into disordered eating territory if someone’s mental health isn’t in the right place for it, so I would just be cautious.
Anon
I agree with this comment. Extreme approaches can be important for managing very specific health conditions, but they can be dangerous for people who are looking to drop a few pounds.
Mpls
If you want to track your macronutrients, then I think any food log/calorie tracking app would be able to do that as well as the gym (so, without the fee). It might be useful to do that to see what your protein intake is to support your strength training goals.
I do some of this – more to track the approximate grams of protein I’m consuming (with an approximate range in mind), then to make sure I have the right % of carb/fat/protein. It doesn’t have to be calorie related, but you’re likely to see that anyway if you are tracking electronically. And it does require you to do food logging.
But if your program is going well and you are making the progress you want, then I don’t see the need to change anything if you don’t want to.
Anon
I haven’t focused much on fat and carbs so I’m not really counting my macros, just focusing on protein but having a protein goal in mind (100g, assigned by my dietician and supported by my trainer) and working to hit that most days has been massively helpful for both weight loss, muscle gains, and body composition. At 30, I like the way my body looks for the first time since probably middle school.
Adding protein + lifting has also significantly helped my running and biking fitness (both endurance and speed). It’s been incredible
anon
I personally find macros to be much less triggering than counting straight-up calories. (Though obviously you have to log your food, so you end up knowing your calorie count, but I find it helps me focus less on that number.) I have found it very helpful for making sure I’m eating in a balanced way. Because I thought I was, but my actual numbers showed otherwise, lol. It’s also made me less “afraid” of fat. Healthy fats are good! Fat serves a purpose!
But more to your question, I’d just download My Fitness Pal and call it a day rather than enrolling in a formal gym program.
Anon
I’ve noticed this too. I really wish that diet trackers would make calories optional so they don’t even display!
Anon
I think counting helps. I went through a period of doing it about 15-20? years ago. I forget, but I aimed toward a certain range of calories, fiber, and protein. It worked great for me and it helped me figure out what I wanted to eat to achieve my goals. Once I got a good handle on it I stopped tracking and have been in great shape since.
Unless you need someone else there for accountability, I don’t see the advantage of paying for it. You can easily do it for free with many apps these days.
Anon
When I was lifting I kept track of protein, but that was it.
Anon
And fwiw I didn’t have to “game the system” to eat enough protein.
Anonymous
Thank you all! This feedback was really helpful! Sounds like it might be more complicated than I’m interested in right now. I appreciate it!
Anonymous
If you eat normal healthy unprocessed foods like avocado and nuts you will never meet the goals any macro-counting program sets–you’ll have more fat and less protein than they all permit. I am not willing to eat weird stuff like protein powder or egg white omelettes with no cheese, so I decided macro counting was not for me.
Anonymous
that take is completely wrong. most macro checks will give you something like 1800+ calories a day, and protein is only 4 calories per gram, so there is absolutely no calorie crunch from the protein. if you’re trying to stick to a 1200 calorie weight watcher diet then no of course you can’t eat properly on it.
Anonymous
The issue is that real foods contain both fat and protein in a ratio that doesn’t meet any of the macro guidelines.
Anonymous
what?! some diets recommend macro percentages for each meal, like South Beach or Zone.
macro-counting diets just give you general targets to hit each day. mine is 132g protein, 46g fat, 180 carbs. I eat avocados every day.
Anon
There’s all sorts of real food out there and some people choose to eat the ones that do meet certain macros. Just because it’s not what you like doesn’t make it wrong.
Anon
“than they all permit”
You can decide what your macro goals are, you don’t have to have them dictated by an app.
Anon
And seriously asking — for parents of high school kids, what do you kids do all summer? When my kids were little, they went to camp 9-5 every week of the summer except one week for vacation. Then COVID hit and everything stopped. One kid goes to high school next year, so in a city where most moms don’t work and my kids don’t really need “care”, IDK what other people do with teens who are too young to drive still but not wanting day camp unless it is a one-off like an art camp at a museum where they just paint or do photography for a week here and there. One kid has a sleep-away music camp she is going to that is more “fun activity I enjoy” than childcare. I have heard from football parents that their kids may swing a PT job but have football practice all summer (but I have girls, so n/a but maybe high school intrudes a bit and I will find that out soon enough). My local working mom contacts also fell apart during COVID (our schools closed down for quite a long time — most of the 2020-2021 school year and I feel really lost).
Anon
I got summer jobs when I was in high school, do kids not do that anymore?
Anon
well if you can’t drive, and you have parents who need to be at work, and you don’t live in an area with accessible public transportation that isn’t really an option. also most places seem to want 16+
Anon
In my city you can easiky work a seasonal job at 15 but can’t drive until 16 (and I hear that driving schools got backed up with COVID). No one seems to want a non- driving teen. And I still have my job to attend to, so I can’t help.
Anon
I used to bike all over the place before I got my driver’s license, including to jobs?
anon
That is really not feasible in many cases.
Anon
What a world it must be today . . .
pugsnbourbon
It can be pretty tough, depending on where you are. I lived in a rural area as a teen and was able to work bc my mom could drop me off – she worked from home and had flexible hours. Once my sister got her license, she drove us around and then I took that over. It would have been a very hilly 10-mile bike ride each way, and on the way home it’d be dark as hell.
Anon
News flash: it’s not the 1960s or 1970s any more. Every time we have a discussion about “kids these days” some of our regular posters really seem to struggle with the idea that things are not like they were when they were teenagers 50 years ago, but I assure you, it’s true.
Anon
It’s certainly not feasible for everyone, but biking is still pretty common IMO. I live in a small Midwest city and lots of teenagers here bike to their jobs. We don’t live in the heart of the center by any means but within 1 mile of our house we have a grocery store that employs teens, several restaurants that employ teens, an elementary school with summer programs teens work at and a fitness center where teens work as junior counselors and lifeguards. That’s just what I can think of off the top of my head, I’m sure there’s more. So if you’re not super choosy, it’s probably even possible to get a job within walking distance.
Anonymous
I am pretty far towards the free-range end of the spectrum, and I still do not let my kid bike anywhere outside of our neighborhood. So dangerous. I’d let my kid ride the NYC subway or the DC metro alone before I’d let them ride a bike on the 45-mph curvy two-lane road with no shoulder that they’d need to use to get out of our neighborhood. Multiple runners have been killed by cars on similar roads in this area.
Anonymous
No everyone lives in a “small midwestern city” like the poster below. A lot of people live in suburbs with no appreciable downtown and would have to ride a bike down the freeway 15 miles to any job, so no.
Anon
I didn’t say everyone lives in a small city. Someone said teens don’t bike to summer jobs anymore and I just said yes in lots of places they still do. Obviously if you’d have to bike on a freeway it’s a different story.
Anon
I’m in the suburbs of Philly and there are plenty of very bikeable neighborhoods and towns.
My kids walk / bike to the pool, friends houses, summer jobs.
Anon
I’m in the Bay Area and know lots of teens who bike to work or internships.
Anonymous
I see that many people here grew up in a Babysitters’ Club novel.
Anon
?? to the BSC reference. I don’t think you have to live in some idyllic, incredibly safe town to think that it’s normal for teens to have jobs, friends and volunteer positions that they bike to. I mean, yes, there are people who live in very rural areas 10+ miles from civilization and it might not work out for them, but you don’t have to live in some kind of fictional ~utopia~ to let your teen ride a bike. I also don’t understand the instance that it doesn’t work if you live in suburbia because your teen would have to commute to a city on the freeway. There are jobs in suburbia! Every town has grocery stores, restaurants, pools, movie theaters….all prime places for teens to get jobs. There’s no reason a kid would need to go downtown; it’s not like they’re working at Morgan Stanley.
Anon
I think they try but a lot of the people that used to hire us when we were teens can get adults to work for them these days, and that’s typically a lot more convenient for them.
Anon
Pre-pandemic, yes but now with the worker shortage it’s much easier to get hired as a teen
Anon
My kids were unable to get summer jobs when they were applying. Lots of people work those “teenager” jobs as their full time job now. My kids’ friends were in the same boat. The only two that had jobs were through parental connections with the business owner.
My son will be doing an internship this summer after his sophomore year in college, and it will be his first job.
Anonymous
In my city it seems to be based on their extra curricular interests. Like rowing club at a M-F 9-12 program for 13-17 year olds. Or the city runs some outdoor camps including one that has an overnight and focuses on different paddling skills. Most art/music/martial arts/skating schools that teach lessons during the year offer camps in the summer. University engineering school also runs some science themed ones. Older kid camps seem to be more like 3 days in a week or mornings or afternoons only and then kids have free time with their friends for hanging out.
Anonymous
Stay home, wander around with friends, get jobs.
anon
+1 I worked all summers in HS, life guarding, summer camp counselor, etc. Or I just did teenage lounge about stuff. I also had swim team practice every morning and meets on the weekend at the neighborhood pool (walk and bikeable).
Anon
Before I was old enough to work, I stayed with my grandparents for the summer. That might not be helpful to you.
My friends either just hung around at home, watching TV, or they would get a volunteer gig at the library. Walk or bike there, so a shift, walk or bike home.
Anon
i was spoiled and my parents sent me to summer programs or sleep-away opportunities for at least a month and then i typically volunteered the rest of the summer. i was not allowed to just sit at home for weeks on end (though i probably had nothing for like 2-4 weeks each summer, but not all at once) and it was a challenge when i was too young to drive. one summer i was able to volunteer at a day camp at an elementary school walking distance from my house. another time, a friend’s mom drove us and picked us up from our volunteer opportunity. i think the summer i was 14, there was also a camp for teens that was basically a field trip every single day. i remember my mom being stressed about schlepping my sister and i around during the summer. other friends were like CITs at day camps that maybe went from like 8-4. I just got an email from our local Children’s Museum that they are reinstating their volunteer program. work as a mother’s helper was another thing people did.
Parent of high schoolers
My kids are finishing 10th and 12th this year. They will be working (one is lifeguarding at a local pool he can walk to, one has a part-time job secured in retail and is waiting to hear if she’s been hired as a sports camp counselor). Before and after their freshman year, we had a week or two of family vacation, they had maybe a week or two of another planned activity (one went to a camp for two weeks and one had a month of sports practice). The rest of the summer – really about 6 weeks in spurts – they basically ran feral and figured it out themselves. I think the boredom forced them to find things to do and sometimes they spent a week just lying around and on their devices – they are fine doing absolutely nothing and I frankly think that is also a good experience. A little pet sitting or baby sitting and lots of free time. After 10th grade they want money for Chipotle and stuff, so they find jobs.
Anon
It’s been a long time since I was in high school, but I still see kids in my city doing the same things. I worked, trained for fall cross country season (on my own or with friends, not formally), and volunteered. I had a job within walking distance from my house so it didn’t matter that I couldn’t drive yet.
Anon
Summer jobs, specialty camps for sports/music interest, sleepaway camp, junior counselor at local day camp, volunteering, academic work like research with a local university professor or foreign language immersion program
Anon
I had the same question when my teens started HS. I found some week long “camps” that they agreed to do (yoga, culinary) but that was just one week in the summer. I also paid them to do some projects around the house. These things, plus a summer vacation was all they did. Mostly it was sleeping in, relaxing, swimming. I was okay with that as I think teens need time to just relax.
anon
I got a summer job between junior and senior years. I volunteered at the library. I think at that time, my mom was in graduate school to get her teaching degree so I was on my own a lot. I remember riding my bike to the pool and spending time with friends. But this was back in the 90s, so things are probably different now.
NYCer
My kids are younger, but a neighbor in our building has a high school aged daughter. She volunteers (works? I honestly don’t know if she gets paid) at a camp for preschool aged kids that is run through a private school in our neighborhood. Would something like that be an option for your kid? It is only half-day I think, but it at least gets her out of the house. I guess the biggest difference though is that we are in NYC, and she can walk there — not ideal in other cities I realize as I am typing this.
Anon
This kind of thing is common in suburbia too. Teenagers who don’t live walking distance from where they’re walking/volunteering can bike or take the city bus.
Anon
IDK — biking is a good way to get hit by a car in my city. I only bike on paths now. It is a shame — I felt safer back before everyone was so busy multitasking on the road.
Anon
It’s normal for teenagers to bike. If you’re nervous and don’t want your kids to do it, that’s your prerogative, but people are answering the question of what teens do and the answer is a lot of them bike to part time jobs or volunteer positions.
Anon
I have a friend who got into running as a teenager because that was the easiest way for her to get to and from her summer job at an ice cream shop. She’d run 2-3 miles to work and 2-3 miles home.
As an adult she’s run 2 full marathons and at least 10 half marathons.
Anon
The teen in my family who biked got hit by cars multiple times (fortunately with only minor injuries, but it still sucked).
Anon
My city has an urban core where you could walk or take transit and there are bike lanes and then very suburban parts where it is safe to bike. We live in between and it is so unsafe for bikers. Cars go 50+ mph on roads designed 50 years ago for 35 MPH traffic. Major SEUS city with a lot of growing pains.
My teens will be likely working or volunteering where it is walkable (shelving books at the library or ushering at the community theater if the grocery store won’t hire them) or driving eventually but sharing the road just isn’t a thing that there is a safe option for.
Anon
Wow, the helicopter sounds are loud today.
Anon
If a suggestion isn’t applicable to your own personal situation, just scroll on by.
Anon
Some suburbs have a lot of 4-6 lane roads where are people are driving 55mph. Not as conducive to biking as something like a quiet two lane country road.
Anon
I live in a suburb and people bike. Most of the major roads have bike paths.
Anonymous
In my city, there are zero bike paths that lead anywhere useful, drivers are insane, and its over 100F every day and often over 110F. Its at least 2 miles to the closest location that would maybe but not likely hire a teen. There is also next to no public transportation system. When my daughter is that age, she will have to be driven. Am I a helicopter?
Anon
not where i lived growing up. the bus system was not very accessible, and neither is biking.
Anonymous
Oh yeah I think the summer I was 14 I got paid by an elderly lady in my apartment building to organize her files and teach her how to use the computer. That was a really good experience, she was an interesting lady!
Anon
Some ideas / speaking from experience:
– Are you walking or biking distance to a pool or a park? We did swim team every summer until we aged out (18). Practices were 8:30AM – 9:30 AM and we’d bike there. We’d usually bike back to the pool in the afternoon to swim and hang out. For several years we also did rec tennis lessons, which were at the park next to the pool and were like 10-11. These were very casual and cheap, township rec teams / lessons (pool membership was $250/family and then swim team dues were $30/kid).
– Summer job: where are you walking/biking distance to?
– Neighborhood babysitting / mothers helpering / yardwork. I did a lot of daytime babysitting in my neighborhood as a 14-16 year old and my brother mowed lawns.
– I played field hockey, which is a fall sport, so we’d have occasional team workouts, but I’d also play pickup several times a week (basically each night of the week a different high school would host pickup games or practices). I also was working out on my own during the day.
– Interest camps: You already mentioned this, but I think these are a great way to break up the summer.
– While most of my friends lived driving distance away, my best friend did live in our neighborhood so we would hang out a lot together. Sometimes we’d walk into town or do something “fun”, but mostly just hanging out.
– I did spend a lot of time lying around, watching TV, reading, etc.
I think a mix of hanging out and doing nothing (I think it’s good for kids) + some level of activity / responsibility is a good mix. So, a part-time job, a sport, or something and then time to relax and recuperate and have fun before the school year.
Anonymous
I did camps and pre-college programs for 4-6 weeks, then babysat and/or hung out with friends for the rest.
Anon
I feel like this is a prime bum around the house age. If it makes you feel any better, I am in a highly respected role based on some skills I developed as a bored teen goofing off on the computer all day.
Anon
Ha, I just commented something similar. Surely I wasn’t the only kid just bumming around the house reading all day? I think constantly scheduling kids sounds exhausting.
Anon
I read a lot in the summers too (especially summers after 7th-9th when I couldn’t drive) but it’s so different today with kids having phones, tablets and other devices. I don’t think being on your phone all day is a great plan.
Anon 2.0
This! It is perfectly fine to let your teen hang around the house all day! They will grow up, get jobs, and live their overscheduled lives like the rest of us. Let them enjoy this once in a lifetime do nothing stage.
Anon
What do your kids want to do? By the time I was in high school, this was my decision. The only reason my parents would have had anything to do with it is if I needed them to pay for it or drive me somewhere, but I opted to get a job and walk or take the bus everywhere instead (I recognize this isn’t an option everywhere, but it’s doable in more places than you’d think).
Anon
+1 I think this should be a kid-driven decision. It’s fair to say that bumming around 24/7 is not an acceptable answer, but you need to let them take the lead on what they want to do.
Anonymous
+2. I found all my own high school summer activities, and my daughter is doing the same.
Anonymous
My brothers and I spent summers at the local pool. Parents dropped us off in the mornings and came back for dinner — we would do swim practice in the mornings, then hang out there. Once I turned 15, I started lifeguarding after practice and also teaching swim lessons (may have started that earlier though, can’t really remember). While that much unsupervised / unstructured activity probably wouldn’t fly today, a local pool club or rec pool is a good option!
Senior Attorney
I did this only it was the beach and instead of parents dropping us off, some of my friends had cars and they picked up the kids who didn’t have cars. And instead of swim practice it was “laying out” and working on our tans! Good times, man. Good times.
anon
Ah… yes. Back in the days when I used “sun tan oil”…
Anon
I was on the Intense Academic Track so this is not typical but… summer after freshman year (before I could drive) I did local gifted and talented camp and a 3 week long sports camp out of state, summer after sophomore year I did biology research in the lab of a local professor and summer after junior year I did a biology research internship at a lab in coastal Maine, which was more like camp than a job (I was with a big group of college kids who adopted me as a little sister and we would work a couple hours a day and then spend the rest of the day swimming, sailing and hiking…it was amazing). I got paid for both of those jobs and my parents let me keep the money in savings rather than making me spend it on expenses like gas. Together with earnings from similar jobs in college it made a decent dent in my first year of law school tuition. Summer after senior year I backpacked around Europe with a friend for a month and then spent the rest of the summer just being lazy.
Anon
I never went to camp (because I hated camping and being away from home) and my mom was a SAHM. I would just sit in the backyard and read mostly. I loved it, but I’ve never been the type who constantly needs an activity. When I got old enough I had a summer job.
Anon
I’d worry now that kids aren’t reading and just in phones 24/7. So I’d pay for a fancy away camp just so they could have to unplug.
Anon
I loved that my kids’ camp banned all electronic devices. That break was a great annual reset.
pugsnbourbon
The summer after freshman year I DEMOLISHED the “summer reading challenge” at my local library. You got an entry for every book you read and I think half the names in the bowl were mine.
The next summer I worked off-the-books in the concession stand at the local pool. After that I got a job at the grocery store. My sister worked at the drive-in and my brother worked at the local ice-cream place.
Anon
Riding my bike to the library in the summers is one of my cherished childhood memories!
Anon
We let the kids basically bum around, but before getting screens or friend time, they have to do these:
– Clean something
– Read something
– Practice something
– Do/ make something
Once they text us what they did in those 4 categories then the rest of their day is theirs to do as they please. My kids are pretty social so they may sneak in some phone time before getting all 4 done, but the real incentive is to get it all done before they meet up at the park or bike to someone’s house.
Anonymous
How do you monitor this when they are at home and you are at work though? It’s nice in theory but there is no way I could track this for three kids from my office everyday while also taking meetings etc. I don’t need 12 more metrics to track every day.
Anon
This.
Anon
I trust them to make good choices, which I kind of already have to do since I’m leaving them home alone. It’s one text per kid saying “Mom I did a load of sheets, read a few chapters of my book, practiced my violin, and made breakfast.” Then I respond saying “Thanks [Kid]! Let me know when you end up leaving for [Friend’s] house and if you’re staying for dinner!”
I’m not like double checking on them, and technically they could be lying. But they’re getting better at the stuff they’re practicing, the laundry actually is done, etc. So I assume they’re doing it more times than not.
Lots to Learn
I love this idea! I wish I’d done it with my kids.
Anon
My son will be a HS senior in August. In 2020 he did nothing because of Covid. In 2021 he became a Counselor in Training at the camp he attended as a kid. He didn’t get paid but we didn’t have to pay for him to be a CIT; it was considered a volunteer position. He wasn’t driving then, so we had to do drop off and pick up, like at school. Then last year he for his driver’s license and he got hired on as a lifeguard at one of our city pools and worked full time all summer; he stayed on through the year, working on weekends, and he’ll lifeguard again this summer (and probably the summer after he graduates as well).
Doing nothing all summer in 2020 – which was of course necessary – was not good for my son and he got substantially depressed. That taught him he is happier being busy, and he went out on his own steam and got his lifeguarding job, without any prompting from us. I would ask your kids what they want to do in the summer and make plans, and also realize that this is kind of a liminal space – they only have a couple of years when they aren’t eligible for camp attendance but also can’t drive or independently take public transit (generally).
Anon
I have a kid the same age. He is going to be a volunteer junior counselor at the YMCA day camp he attended previously. He’ll be working 8:30-4:30 every day – same drop off and pickup schedule we had before, only now we don’t have to pay for camp. He’s also going to a 3 week overnight camp. And he will have at least 1 week unscheduled, bumming around the house.
Anonymous
Things my teen and her friends have done:
On-line summer school courses to check off requirements like PE and personal finance so they can take the courses they actually want to take during the year
Summer courses at a community college or university
Volunteer at VBS, Girl Scout camp, youth sports programs
Mission trips
Daily sports practices of 3-4 hours
Various jobs–lifeguard at neighborhood pool, ice cream shop, cookie shop, grocery store, junior counselor at day camp, junior instructor at sports day camp run by the kid’s travel sport club
Play video games while telling their parents they are studying for the SAT
Attend rigorous multi-week sleepaway arts and academic summer programs
Most kids in these parts have a SAH or teacher parent who handles transportation to summer activities. The few moms with full-time year-round jobs either have driving nannies or just take the career hit from ducking out to drive the kid places. (I only know one dad who does kid stuff during the workday.) It’s a lot easier now that many people are permanently WFH, but still stressful.
Also keep in mind that for many high school kids the last 2-4 weeks of the summer will be filled up with school-related activities–band camp, show choir dance camp, camps and practices for fall sports, etc.
Anonymous
I spent most of my teen years either reading, playing video games, or working at the barn in exchange for ride time (which was conveniently walking distance from my house and god I miss that), and I turned out fine. I don’t think letting teenagers spend the summer doing nothing, even if nothing is screen time, is the worst thing in the world.
Anon
I work in our city’s urban core where there are a couple of museums and many places to eat. I have two teens (middle school; one going into 9th grade). I am thinking of using an unscheduled week for an experiment: give them $50, tell them to pick a museum, pay for admissions, buy lunch, wander around, bring a sketchbook, all while I’m working.
They could take the light rail within .5 miles of our house if they wanted (I’d probably need to do it with them the first time).
It’s not safe to bike where we live, but they could wander around the city on foot and maybe find some better volunteering jobs here vs our neighborhood. City core is basically 10 blocks by 10 blocks and lots of foot traffic during the day.
EL Konigsburg
I love this idea! It is very “From The Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler.”
Anon
Two things I’m finding:
— swim team practice is 9-12. I can just leave the kids there all day I guess (swim/tennis club with a gym). They only demand supervision for a kid under 8. I have teens.
— volunteering in my city often requires a parent be on site if the kid is <16. This is a GOOD idea for the org — unsupervised kids are a liability. Paying a staff member to oversee teen volunteers is an expense that is likely unwanted. But as a teen parent — ugh. I am work remotely in a library, but not at the places they'd really like to volunteer at (and the library recently requested no more teen volunteers pls). I guess I can just bring my kids there to read.
I'm a working mom. The day care years were so much easier. Working as a mom of teens is just a harder world for doing that well.
Savannah
Hi, I have a 9th grader and a high school senior. In the teen years before driving, they have done/are doing a few sports camps, some sleep-away camp, and a lot of bumming around the house, going to the neighborhood pool, hanging out with friends. Once our oldest was 16 he spent 2 summers working as a day camp counselor/life guard/swim instructor, because he could drive himself back and forth, and this summer he’s working as a camp counselor at a sleep away camp. Our youngest is 15, so this is the last summer for him of the bumming around the house and neighborhood – next summer we’ll expect him to get at least a part-time job.
That said – we live in a a neighborhood with a neighborhood pool, tennis courts, lots and lots of other kids, and bike paths. It’s easy for them to have a bum around summer and still get lots of activity.
Anonymous
My young high schooler goes to sleepaway camp for a few weeks. My older HS kids babysit at the town pool or for local families, bum around the house, do some sports training, stay up too late and sleep in past 11.
Horse Crazy
WWYD? I’m supposed to leave for a 5-day conference today. I woke up at 2am with a sore throat. I just took a COVID test, which was negative. I have no other symptoms other than it hurts to swallow. What should I do?
Anon
I’m sorry. Even if it’s something else like strep, I am not sure how much you will get out of a conference while sick. Maybe you are made of tougher stuff than I am, but spending the majority of a conference either feeling dopey on OTC meds or in a hotel room recuperating is not an experience I ever want to repeat!
Anon
Can you leave tomorrow? You will either feel better or be so sick you will be glad you didn’t go.
Curious
How often do you get sore throats, and for what? We’ve had so many colds and such a bad allergy season that right now the slightest thing makes my throat sore. In that case, I’d just go. If it’s anomalous, I’d probably stay home, alas, or at least move my flight to later in the day / tomorrow to assess whether it was a weird passing thing or something worse.
NYCer
+1. I get mild sore throats somewhat frequently at this time of year. I associate it with allergies, so I would likely still go the conference.
Also, how far away is the conference? Driving or flying?
here she goes
+1 all this.
Anon
Depends on the soreness, I often wake up with a sore throat that goes away quickly. If it’s the lingering, first sign of something and I know I’m getting sick, I’d skip it.
Anonymous
Drink some tea and get packing
Anonymous
What I would do and what I have done: I would go, and I would wear a mask, avoid shaking hands, be religious with sanitizer before going through any buffet lines or using the restroom (I’m thinking about high touch surfaces). I would also take COVID tests with me and be prepared to test each AM (and switch to participating virtually if I were to test positive).
For context that colors my opinion and experience – I have a baby in daycare and also a kindergartener, so honestly I have some sort of upper respiratory bug happening more days than I feel well. I’m fully vaccinated and test for COVID whenever I don’t feel well (which works out to pretty darn regularly) — I’ve been positive only once.
Anon
I would probably skip it because I’m a bit of a baby when I’m sick and just want to lie in bed and rest. But I think it’s ethical to go if you’re testing negative for Covid and wear a mask. Bring Covid tests so you can continue testing at the conference and isolate if you test positive.
Anonymous
I don’t think it’s ethical to go out in public while sick just because it isn’t COVID. There are plenty of other dangerous viruses and bacteria out there, and many of them seem to be surging right now. If you suspect you are getting sick it’s only responsible to stay home until you feel better, especially because with many illnesses you are most contagious in the early stages.
Anon
Well, it’s not practical to stay home every time you have a cold or allergies. Colds are nearly constant for those of us with daycare age kids. Not everyone has a plenty of sick days. Allergies cause sneezing and sore throats for months for many people. I wouldn’t go out in public if I had a fever or was vomiting or felt super sick, but beyond that and testing for Covid, I’m going to put on a mask and go. There’s a limit to how much you expect people to do and life has to go on. Probably 95% of people don’t even bother to test for Covid anymore no matter how sick they are (I live in a red state and the last time I bought Covid tests in person the pharmacist was shell-shocked…she said I was the first person in over a month who’d bought any) so I don’t think it’s productive to shame the small minority who are trying to be responsible with reasonable limits.
Anon
+1 it reminds me of how some people here were SO angry about vaccinated people traveling in summer 2021. Direct your ire at the unvaccinated people who wouldn’t wear a mask even if they were coughing up a lung, not the people who are vaccinated, testing and masking up when they feel under the weather.
Anonymous
No one is being responsible and masking when they feel under the weather.
Anon
I’d still go, since you’re not spreading Covid around. It’s common to get a sore throat from allergies and it’s that time of the year.
Anon
Strep is running rampant in adults this year. I would be cautious about traveling. I recently had a bad case and (1) wouldn’t have felt like being at a conference; and (2) was HIGHLY contagious. Don’t risk doing this to other people.
Anon
In my area there has also been something going around that tests negative for strep, flu, and Covid but that starts with a bad sore throat and will lay you down in bed for several days. I had it weeks ago and still have a cough and hoarseness. For OP, how bad is that sore throat? If it’s severe, please stay home, so as not to expose others and also to take good care of yourself.
Anon
Oh I think I had that too! The sore throat was crazy!!
Anonymous
Our pediatrician said this could be a really nasty strain of adenovirus that’s going around and hits the adults just as hard as the kids.
Anon at 10:58
That’s interesting! I had actually wondered that if not getting ordinary illnesses during the pandemic due to distancing and mask use had just made me a really big sissy about not feeling good and it was a cold. But it truly laid me down in the bed for a couple of days, not feeling good enough to even read or watch television, and then I did make it to the sofa but still felt terrible for a couple of days after that.
Anon
I had this. Knocked everyone in my family out for a couple of days. We all tested negative for COVID, my son who started the whole thing tested negative for flu and strep as well. It sucked.
Horse Crazy, go, mask all the time, and if you’re getting worse, go home early. FYI my son brought it home from UCSC so it’s definitely in your area, if I’m remembering correctly.
Anon
I had this too! I was convinced it was secret COVID because it felt very similar, but I tested negative.
Anon at 10:58
Agree with “secret Covid”. I had a strep-like sore throat, and bone shattering Covid-ish cough, and not enough energy to cross the room. Still something wrong with my throat weeks later, and I’m cracking up judges in the courtroom with a weird breathy, squeaky, and also gravelly sounding voice that is so not like my own.
Anon
We had that in our house too, about a month ago. All three of us, one right after the other. I kept thinking “this has to be Covid” but never had any positive tests.
Anonie
Go to urgent care and get a strep test this morning. If it’s strep, you can get on antibiotics and be feeling better/not contagious after 24 hours (2 doses). I wouldn’t leave today, but you could probably go tomorrow and still make most of the conference. Strep has been going around like crazy in adults this winter, so I’d guess it’s that.
Horse Crazy
Thanks,all. it’s an hour and a half drive away. I forgot to mention that I’m sharing a hotel with someone. I probably won’t go :(
Anon
Yes please don’t bring your germs to a shared hotel room!
Curious
Hope you feel better soon!
Anon
The shared hotel room would be reason enough for me to skip. Insane any employers still do this.
Anon
I agree about skipping if you are sharing a hotel room but not all employers have a budget for individual hotel rooms.
Anon
Disagree. It’s how they prioritize. And you can send fewer people if it’s a budget issue.
Anon
But there are many people who would much rather share a room than not go! I’m one of them. Anyone who doesn’t want to attend can always stay home. This stuff usually isn’t mandatory, and sharing rooms lets double or triple the number of people go, which is especially great for grad students and early career people.
I agree if you’re telling someone they *have* to go, you should provide them with a private room if they want but that’s not typically the situation I’ve seen with room sharing.
Anon
This! Giving fewer people their own room isn’t a great option. Allowing employees to make that decision themselves is better. They can also decide to pay for their own hotel room if their company pays for a flight. Either way, let the employees make the best decision for themselves.
anon
If I were you, and I really needed to go to the conference, I would quickly do a rapid strep/flu test at the local pharmacy and a home (or at pharmacy) COVID test. You don’t want to mess around with Strep, so definitely rule it out. Most people don’t realize that there are many, serious complications of Strep if it becomes more widespread in your body, and it is very easy to spread to others.
If all were negative, I would go to the conference and get a separate hotel room and wear an N95 mask when out of my room. And I would repeat COVID test daily as long as I had symptoms. If it ever came back positive, obviously leave the meeting.
I’m a doctor.
ADA
If you choose to go, this is a request, respectfully made, to please wear a fresh N95 mask the entire time to protect the other people from whatever it is you do have (you have something, maybe it will turn out to be COVID tomorrow or the next day, or maybe it’s something else). Thank you for considering other people.
Curious
<3 yes, agree with this. Though it sounds like she's going to stay home.
Anon
+1.
Anonymous
There are some pretty nasty viruses currently going around (parainfluenza, adenovirus) that start with a sore throat. I’d stay home, for your own sake and for the sake of others.
Signed, my SIL brought her preschooler who “just had a little sore throat” to a birthday party and turned it into a superspreader event, wrecking my daughter’s college visits and making my 80-year-old MIL sick for two weeks.
ADA
That is infuriating. It indicates that the person who chose to let the toddler socialize considers everyone else — the teen whose college visits were wrecked, the 80 year old who was sick for two weeks — is collateral damage. This entitled mindset.
Anonymous
Extra entitled because she hid the fact that the child was not feeling well (I overheard her whisper to her sister about it towards the end of the event) so that no one would opt to skip it.
Anon
I’m sorry this happened to you, but most preschoolers pretty much always have a runny nose or some other illness symptom. If you really cannot get sick, you shouldn’t socialize with preschoolers.
Anonymous
Avoiding the germy little ones would be my preference. My husband won’t agree to opt out of family gatherings, though. He is actually the one who caught the bug from the preschooler at the party and gave it to our teen, so in this case my staying home wouldn’t have helped.
Anon
That’s so messed up. You would think people would have learned to take their health and the health of others more seriously after covid but apparently not! This is part of why I have little faith in human beings these days.
Anon
On the other hand, at this time of year, for me a morning sore throat is almost definitely because of allergy-caused post nasal drip and mouth breathing.
Anon
Same, woke up with a sore throat today and feel fine now.
Anon
+1 regarding allergies and a warning that it might get worse than what you are used to with allergies: I woke up Monday with a scratchy sore throat and itchy eyes; realized I hadn’t taken my allergy medicine over the weekend when it was beautiful out and I spent all day Saturday outdoors. Come Tuesday AM I lost my voice, had a sore throat still and congested in my head; slept most of the day away (even though I didn’t feel tired but when I did drop off, I dropped off for several hours at a time). Wednesday AM I had a bit more of a voice but still congested in my head/ears; was able to do some work late morning/early afternoon then did mindless hobby work in the later afternoon/evening when I realized I couldn’t figure out how to lean a clothing rack against the wall; had a low grade fever at times and slept from late afternoon through the night. Finally woke up this morning feeling awake, no fever, no sore throat and was hungry for the first time since Monday. I am chalking it up to a very bad sinus infection, much worse than what I have had in recent years. Might be best to stay home and rest rather than travel and potentially make it worse.
Anonymous
How do you decide whether to serve on a board?
Context: I’m mid-30s, partner at a small law firm, used to volunteer on at least 2 boards/year. Typically because I knew someone who was passionate or because I was involved (like Junior League, young professionals, etc.). I have pared down during Covid and had planned to serve on one late 2023 or early 2024 when something came up that sounded like a good fit. A contact just reached out because a large board’s only female member is retiring, and they want to fill it with a woman. This icks me out a bit, but I can’t help but wonder if it will be a good business development opportunity and/or if I could eventually get more women on board. My impression is there is no formal selection process, it’s all who the other members know. My hesitation is more, I am not invested in the topic, and I wasn’t going to do anything for another 6 months or so. And I’m not sure whether I would benefit from a longer pause or just take the opportunity in front of me.
Chl
If you’re not invested in the topic I wouldn’t do it. There’s something better for you out there.
Senior Attorney
+1
Anon
I need to know that something is actually an opportunity. Boards are mixed bags. And if you’re not interested in the subject matter, that’s a lot to take on. Personally, I would pass.
Anon
I would probably take it, because I’ve rarely regretted taking opportunities even if they aren’t in my area.
Senior Attorney
Oh my goodness. If I had a nickel for every board opportunity I’ve regretted taking on…
Anonie
I say save your time and talent for something you actually care about, not just to be the token woman. I also question how much these extracurriculars really matter in the course of a career.
Anon
100% this. The only boards worth it are passion projects or paid retirement positions.
Anon
Definitely say no! Don’t let yourself get sucked into a multiple year board term for something you’re not interested in. It’s a bad idea! Ask me how I know . . .
Hollis
Had anyone had a condition where they hear a quiet thumping in one ear but it doesn’t last long? For me, maybe once a day, I hear a thump, thump, thump, thump, thump (not that loud – the person next to me wouldn’t notice it) in one ear and then nothing for the rest of the day. It’s not painful or anything – just annoying. Not sure if it’s worth getting checked out.
Anon
I get that when I am stressed – I am pretty sure it is a muscle spasm like an eye twitch. But I have never had it checked out.
Anon
yes it happens to me too when I’m tired/stressed just like the eye twitch
Anon
How’s your blood pressure?
Anon
+1. Definitely check on blood pressure.
Anon
I’ve been getting this lately and I think its like fluid build up or something from allergies. I’ve had a really bad pollen season. I’m definitely not stressed, so that’s not it for me.
Anon
That sounds like Pulsatile Tinnitus.
anon
+1
Does it seem to align with the rhythm of your heart beat? Is it always in the same ear? I’d get it checked out, especially if this is new. Take note if you have any other ear symptoms (pain/hearing loss/tinnitus/dizziness) or if the symptoms correlate with anything (?dehydrated ?occur during vigorous exercise etc…) or if they started after a recent respiratory infection. ENT or start with your primary care dotor.
anon
And hopefully you haven’t had any recent chiropractor treatments of the neck, or falls/head trauma….
Anon
I know it’s been asked here before but can’t find the thread – what size of diamond studs does everyone like/find comfortable for daily wear? I got an unexpectedly large bonus and am looking to spend up to $5k on these. I’m a small to average sized person (5’4” 120 lbs) and don’t like very heavy earrings- would 1.5 ctw be just right? TIA.
Anon
When I was your size, I got one carat studs that I still love. I did not feel overwhelmed but for some reason everyone thinks I’m 5-8, so maybe it is a big personality?
Hellooooooo
I have 1.5 carats total weight. Not heavy and sits nicely I think since they’re 3 prongs (vs 4). I love them but wouldn’t mind bigger ones like 2 carats which I have tried on.
Senior Attorney
I agree with all of this.
Anon
Depends on how they look on you. I’m very tall and wear 1.5 in each ear, so 3 ctw. Half that would look silly on me.
Anon
I think the answer is to try them on in person.
Panda Bear
+1 – It really depends on your ear and the cut/style of the diamond and setting! Have fun trying a few different options and seeing what you like best.
Anon
I also played around w CZ studs first to get a sense of whether I really liked the look and what size I liked.
anon
+1
This is the way to do it, and I’m so glad I did. It turned out that the size I liked was much smaller than my first CZ purchase. For me, a daily wear pair of diamond studs is a very different size than one I might like for more formal occasions.
Anne-on
+1 to this – I have a set of CZ studs from Nordstrom and the 2ct ones are bigger than I thought I’d want but they look great on camera and I don’t think I’d go smaller (also 5’4 with a small frame).
Anon
Absolutely, try them on. I’m your exact size OP and got 1ct TW. I found the 1.5 ct looks enormous on me. On the other hand, my BFF is 5’10” and wears 2 ct atW studs and they look similar on her as mine so on me.
Anon
One carat each ear. I would go up based on budget but not lower. Personally I’d prefer large pearl studs, which are less expensive but more blingy yet elegant. You could massive ones for a fraction of the diamond cost.
Runcible Spoon
Don’t overlook “illusion” settings, which combine five or so smaller diamonds to appear to be large-carat, single diamond studs. Much more affordable, and nobody notices unless they look very closely.
Reco
Any suggest on a comfortable push-up bra?
Nothing too extreme but I finished breastfeeding and would like some extra shaping as my body settles down.
Moose
I honestly think bras are so personal and hard to recommend. I would go to Soma or Nordstrom and try on a bunch to fin what is comfortable.
Anom
Depends on your size too. I’m 30DD to 30E and I love panache and fantasie. Not a fan of Chantelle. Bigger cup sizes require better construction too.
Anonymous
The Aerie Real Sunnie Wireless Pushup Bra with the double straps on each shoulder is my staple. Their sizes range from 30A to 40D. It’s the only bra I don’t immediately yank off as soon as I’m home!
Dyson
Does anyone have an air wrap and is it worth it and or easy to use? I see mixed reviews. I’ve watched tons of videos and I like the results but I may be too lazy to master it. I have a curling wand/brush thing but only use it a couple times a year because see above regarding my laziness in mastering new tools.
Anonymous
Once you get the hang of it, it’s pretty easy to use. I can curl my whole head in less than 10 minutes. The curls won’t last for two days, unlike with my Hot Tools curling iron, but they are more natural. My favorite attachment is the plastic bristled straightening brush. What really sold me on the airwrap is the lack of heat damage. I managed to go a whole year without split ends after I changed from a blowdryer/curling iron to the airwrap!
Anne-on
I had one and sent it back. It was just more time and energy than I was willing to use and I found that the drying head wasn’t as good as my usual dyson so I’d have to use my original flavor dyson to blow my wavy hair mostly straight and then the airwrap to curl it. I bought the chi spin and curl instead and for $50 I’m thrilled with it.
anon
I have it and wish I had bought one sooner. I think it actually caters to laziness because the act of drying your hair is not only faster (I have very thick hair) but it doubles as styling your hair. I have long, thick hair, don’t use gel or hair sprays or anything and it always gives me great volume and keeps my hair shiny. It has a learning curve, but I figured it out by attempt 2 – and since then there are sooo many videos showing you how to use it. I recommend!
Anon
Same. I got mine as a gift and expected to return it but ended up being a convert. My hair looks way healthier and nicer than with my prior tools.
Predictive Index
I am about to be laid off and am starting to apply for new jobs. One of them required that I take the Predictive Index “test”. I ran through it without a lot of preparation (aka none at all) and with a lot of eye rolling. Then I got my results and . . .
I feel really, really, really seen. Like that thing nailed my personality to a degree that is a little disturbing. I am wondering if that is a luck guess or if other people have found it to be generally accurate as to their visions of themselves.
Anon
I interviewed with PI at one point and had them explain it. They pull a LOT of information from it, and the accuracy is their selling point.
Anonymous
Have they validated it as a predictive tool for job performance?
Backyard Chickens
This is random for a fashion blog :) but does anyone keep chickens in their suburban backyard and have any tips/tricks/cautions to impart? We live on an acre, but part is wooded, and most of the lawn is in the front (though backyard is decent). There’s also a stream in back. And technically we’re in a city, but a suburban corner (what I’m getting at is this isn’t farm country and we have close-ish neighbors.)
I would love to have a few hens for bug control (lots of ticks) and some eggs (three sons). But, do they attract rats or other pests? Do they wander down the street? Are there things I’m not considering? (And yes, a small flock/no roosters is allowed in our city.)
Anonymous
My friends who have chickens are always worried about losing them to predators. They also had to teach their kids to be very strict about washing their hands after touching the chickens or the eggs because of salmonella.
Anonymous
You you can’t just have free range chickens in a city? No they don’t wander down the street because you have a coop and a run!
Anon
My neighbors had chickens that were loose. They wandered around a bit. It was totally fine; I lived there for years and it wasn’t a big deal or all that eventful even. I just sometimes saw chickens when out walking or driving.
Anon
“Do they wander down the street?“ If you have chickens, you definitely need an enclosure for them. They’re not going to stay in one place AND they will get killed by wild animals. I bet there are a hundred blogs out there about having chickens, I’d start reading.
Anon
Obviously they would have a protected coop and be shut up at nights. But to get the benefits of bug control I’d want them to free range for part of the day. I don’t know how much supervision that requires.
anonshmanon
The bug control also comes at the price of chicken poop everywhere, so you pay a price!
Anon
I dunno, be prepared for a lot of lost and dead chickens, I guess.
anon
You need an actual fence if you want them to not wander away while they are free ranging about. And you have to be okay with losing some to predators regardless of how you contain them.
anonshmanon
Also they will destroy your garden beds/flowers if you let them.
An.On.
Dans Le Lakehouse and The Art of Doing Stuff blogs both have stuff about backyard chickens and problems that can come up, although are not geared as “how-to” guides. The backyard chicken stuff is a tab on the front page of DLL, and you’ll have to keyword search AoDS. ArtofDS mentions they got their plans for a coop from Chez Poulet, which is still available.
Anon
I had chickens growing up in a rural area. We had a chicken house with a high fence around the yard. They’d fly over that every morning and feast on bugs all over the property all day (40 acres). They didn’t wander too far because there was a lot of food for them in the area of the house, but they were not contained sufficiently for city living. You will need an enclosure that has a top on it for sure.
Also be prepared that you’ll have to clean up their old feathers and excrement all the time.
Having said all that, they are excellent for mosquito and tick control.
Anon
Also the above poster makes a great point about wild animals. We lost chickens constantly to foxes, possums, skunks, and other animals. And snakes like their eggs so look before you reach into the nest!
Anonymous
We did this and loved it — and I write in the past tense only because we now live in the country, now with even more hens. :)
Yes to you need a tightly-constructed enclosure. We had a coop, and a run, and then at times when we were out in our fenced backyard, we’d also let them ‘free range’ around the yard. From our experience, the key to the coop and run being clean and not pest-infested is: (1) storing the chicken food and treats securely (we bought an outdoor trash bin with a lid from the hardware store and were good to go); (2) having a roof on the run and adequate size for both the coop and the run so that they stayed clean and dry; (3) making sure the construction was strong enough (we buried hardware cloth into the ground 6 inches or so around the perimeter of the run and then it covered the bottom portion of the run; we had chicken wire the rest of the way up).
We kept their wings clipped (totally painless to the bird, you trim feathers kind of similarly to trimming one’s hair) so they couldn’t fly — but do be aware that birds are quite good at hopping.
Lots to Learn
I had chickens for a couple of years. We’re in the suburbs of a major city and despite this, I was shocked at the number of predators who viewed our flock as a free lunch. First were the rats. They found the food almost immediately and beat a nightly path to the coop to feast on the food in the feeder. Didn’t seem to bother the chickens, who were on their roosts, but they did eat a hole through the floor of the coop to get in. Second were the hawks. They would come and land on the garage and just watch the chickens. We had to put netting over the coop and the run/enclosure. Still, it failed at one point and I was slow at patching the hole and a hawk got in and killed one chicken. Third were the possums. A juvenile got in (probably through the hole the rats dug) and grabbed one of the hens and killed her. Fourth (or actually first,) our entire first flock was killed by a neighbor’s dog who burst through the wall of the run and played with them all like rag dolls. I felt like we were constantly fighting a battle to not have them all killed. They would have been safer if we had kept them just in the coop and a small attached run that’s enclosed, but we hated the confinement for them. I don’t know how people have big flocks running around in the country – I’ve seen some where a dog is there to bark away predators.
We were also worried about them when it was cold out or when it was too hot. One got a disease and we tried to treat it but she died. I’m making it sound stressful, but it was always a concern. Plus when we were out of town, we had to pay our cat sitter extra to go out and feed them, refill water, etc. We did enjoy the eggs but it definitely wasn’t a money-saving proposition. the kids did enjoy taking them out and letting them peck around the yard under supervision. But man, their scratching can destroy your yard in a matter of minutes. I’m glad we did the great chicken experiment, but when the last of our second flock was gone, I was glad to hang it up.
anon
Well, my big warning is to be sure to have them in a completely enclosed / caged space with a complex lock. My cousins used to keep chickens in Bay Area suburbia but in an area with a bit more land/woods. Their kids loved taking care of them, and the eggs were incredible. One night she left the gate unlocked. Still closed, but not completely secured. All of the chickens were eaten by the morning. Everyone was devastated. I don’t remember what animal they thought got in and killed them….
Anon
Probably a coyote
JHC
We have had backyard chickens for about two years and love it! We started with a small coop for our three-bird flock, but upgraded to the Eglu Omlet coop and run, which is pricey but a game changer. It is predator-proof and gives the hens plenty of room to run around. We get 2-3 eggs a day and one of the perks is that we share with the neighbors and sometimes get baked goods in return. Their food can attract mice, rats, other pests, so we keep it off the ground, which seems to help. The pecking order is real and we’ve learned to keep lots of toys and other things of interest, like perches, treat balls, etc. to keep them from annoying each other. Make sure that you have a predator proof run. Think about winter weather–we do an insulated blanket over the coop and we have a heated water source to keep their drinking water from turning into ice. Keep the coop clean to avoid mites and other diseases. It’s honestly not much work and we’ve grown to love our girls as much as our dog.
JHC
I should also add we don’t let the chickens free range unless we are in the backyard with them. Otherwise, hawks, owls, and other predators will kill them. That’s why we bought a very generously sized run, so they feel like they’ve got room to roam. Good luck!
Anonymous
I live in Portland OR and many neighbors have chickens. Yes, they attract rats. I don’t see any way around it. I see them going in and out of the coops regularly.
Anonymous
And what really sucks is it brings the rats into our yard too. Now my kids have to contend with piles of rat poop or dead rats lying around. (Coops on three sides of our yard)
Anon
You have to have them in a coop. If you don’t want them eaten by hawks, the coop and run both have to have a ceiling. If you don’t want them eaten by raccoons, the coop door needs to be double-locked at night. I learned the hard way with both of these.
I loved my chickens, I loved the eggs, but they attracted flies (and I tried lots of fly deterrents and traps), they do attract rats to their food, who will burrow – so you also need a “floor” but chickens need to scratch the ground, so this means burying some wire mesh – but the eggs were great. As a courtesy I’d ask your neighbors first.
I don’t understand “do they wander down the street?” I mean, yes, I cannot believe you thought chickens were going to just stay right by your door! If they’re not contained in some way, you will never see them again at best, or more likely, they’ll be eaten by predators or run over by a car at worst. Chickens are everyone’s favorite snacks.
There’s a great book called A Chicken In Every Yard you should check out before embarking on this.
Anon
Long comment is either in m-d or disappeared, but get the book A Chicken in Every Yard. I think you’re being wildly optimistic. I’ve had chickens before. The eggs are great. Everything else is not. Everything.
Anon
I eat a LOT of eggs and it seems much easier and cheaper to just buy the eggs at the store.
Anon
Is there a good way to respond in situations when you follow explicit guidance from your boss, and a more senior leader (grandboss or great grandboss) questions you on it? I had a situation at work the other week where I made a recommendation to my boss, she told me not to follow my recommendation, and then senior leader asked me directly why I didn’t do xyz (my recommendation that boss told me to disregard). Do you just suck it up and apologize to senior leader, and then share with boss as feedback? I was flustered and kind of toed the line of throwing my boss under the bus, essentially saying “I was advised…” without explicitly naming my boss…but I feel like there is a better approach.
Anon
Without more context about your boss, that is hard to answer. If you boss is the type who would take the fall for you (i.e. go tell Grandboss that it was their directive) then I would just tell boss about the feedback. If your boss is the kind of person who wold let you take the blame, then tell the truth. You followed boss’ directive but will take Grandboss’ input back to them unless Grandboss prefers to handle that themselves.
pugsnbourbon
If your boss and your skip-level(s) aren’t seeing eye to eye, they need to work that out. You wouldn’t be throwing your boss under the bus if you said, “[Boss] instructed me to do X,” you’d be telling the truth. If you take the fall yourself you’re going to be stuck in the middle again.
Anon
+1
Anon
Exactly. Boss needs to own their decisions, not pawn them off on the people following their directions.
Anon
Thank you. To answer the question above, boss is the type who would let me take the fall, so this is helpful feedback.
Anon
“Grandboss, initially I had the same thought. I discussed with it my boss and the decision was do this way due to x, y, and z”.
Tired Law Anon
Am I overreacting/ WWYD? Bear in mind I am exhausted so absolutely may be blowing this out of proportion.
I am a very junior non-equity partner at a law firm that has made very clear we are to return to the office, but in an undefined, unstated “critical amount.” We are assured that is not 5 days a week, but no further direction has been given.
I had a client-facing conference in a location about three hours away this week which kept me out M – W. Because a transaction was delayed in closing and was on a different time zone, I also was working after the sessions and client dinners until 1 or 2 in the morning every day this week.
I’m tired! I got home about lunchtime today, triaged my work, and started a load of laundry.
My secretary called to let me know the managing partner’s secretary had been patrolling the office for attendance. Keeping in mind I was not there to hear this conversation, according to my secretary it went like this:
MP secretary: Tired Law Anon hasn’t been here all week.
My secretary: no, she’s been at a conference at x.
MP secretary: oh when did that end?
My secretary: yesterday, but she drove back today.
MP secretary: oh, she didn’t come into the office though?
My secretary: no, I think she’s catching up on things at home, but she’s available. Do you want me to call her?
MP secretary: no, just seeing who’s around. MP likes people to be in the office.
……
Am I just tiredly overreacting and feeling like I am being spied on? This is not specific to me; everyone is being watched and some record of attendance being made although no one knows exactly what. Pre-COVID no one even would’ve asked where I was! I used to joke I could be dead on my living room floor for weeks and maybe my secretary would notice I was gone. Also curious what other firms are doing.
It perversely makes me not want to go in at all, which is counterproductive, I know.
Anon
I wouldn’t put much stock into what admins are saying the boss cares about, unless you know there’s a track record there of a) accuracy on her part and b) follow-through on his part. Just because she inquired doesn’t mean he cares and/or doesn’t know already know you were at a conference and working long hours.
But also, if you regularly (not just this one burned out time) feel this way about your office and colleagues, this isn’t a healthy office.
Anon
This all sounds awful and would really tick me off too. Although I think the other poster may be right that MP’s secretary may just be a busybody and isn’t necessarily acting on his behalf.
Anon
I’d be annoyed too. You were at the conference in person with colleagues or professional contacts. Of the people I know with an in-office requirement the conferences, client visits, and overnight travel always count as an in-office day. If your company is serious about in person presence then they should have a clear policy about this.
Anonymous
I have a high-travel job and my boss once counted up the days I had been out of the office during the year and dinged me for being out–doing my job! Super annoying.
Girlonawireless
Agree with 1:20
MP’s secretary sounds like a busybody. Is this the type of admin who has been with MP forever and tells MP everything?
Your firm is being silly with this undefined policy that comes off as organizational passive aggression.
Last firm I worked at had a similar vague policy, but the equity partners were always in the office, wanted to keep tabs on their worker bees, but didn’t want to have a defined policy because they wanted the firm to be thought of as being a “Great Place to Work.” “We just need to know where you are” was the constant refrain.
Maybe work into conversation with MP how the conference went and vent about all the work that had to be done well into the night afterwards. Preferably in MP’s office. Door open. Loud enough for MP’s secretary to hear.
Anon
I have a 3m 30 year mortgage w first republic at 2.5%. Do you think there’s any chance they’d accept less than full payment to eliminate the loan right now? I keep reading that these long term low rate loans have become an albatross for them and wondering if there’s any opportunity
Anon
Is First Republic that one bank that’s in trouble that the big banks had to step in and help? Maybe they’d be willing to do something to get that much cash back on hand. See if you can find an online directory that lists the heads of various departments and reach out to the right person and make an offer.
Anonymous
This is stupid
Anon
You’d owe tax on any loan forgiveness. And I think that you are high — $ will never be that cheap again. Put your funds in a CD for 4% or more.
Anon
+1
Anon
I have no idea if they’d accept it but it seems like a bad deal for you. The market will perform well above 2.5% on average, and don’t you get a tax break on the mortgage? (Or is that only below a certain income level?)
Anon
You can deduct mortgage interest on the first $750,000 of your loan, but only if you itemize your deductions (I think).
Anon
And you’re feeling philanthropic towards the bank? 2.5% is crazy low, don’t know why you’d want to give that up.
anon a mouse
No. You’d need another zero or two to have any negotiating power.
Anon
Assuming this is a good move for you financially (and I’m going to assume that if someone lent you three million for a house, you’re clearly very successful), ask. Go in with a number that makes sense to you and to them. They will probably say no, which puts you back in exactly the position you are in right now.
Older
Keep the mortgage. Invest the money you would otherwise use to pay it off – diversified and in keeping with your appropriate level of risk.
Senior Attorney
Look at it this way: Is a guaranteed 2.5% before-tax return the best think you can think of to do with that $3,000,000? I feel like there are a lof of places you could put that money where it would work harder for you.
Anon
Is there a way to filter Outlook to only show me messages from humans? A big part of my job is staying on top of developing news in our field, so I get something like ~50 news alerts a day. I don’t want to create a rule to move them to a folder – I often need to see breaking news as it happens – but I need to be able to basically shift them all out of the way to see my actual work from colleagues and clients. Kinda like how gmail has tabs – I need something like that for Outlook. Does it exist? Maybe a 3P thing I can install or ask IT to give me permissions to install?
Mpls
I find the Focused Inbox view set up in Outlook works pretty well for this. It gives you a Focused and Other tab that you can toggle between pretty easily. Both will trigger the email icon (but I don’t know about the pop-up notifications, since I’ve turned those off).
You do have to occasionally train it to send something to the other folder (right-click on the message and select “always send to Other”), but it does a pretty good job.
Anon
We don’t have this!! Thanks so much! I sent an email to IT asking about it. Fingers crossed that we can get it – our IT department is pretty nimble.
Anon
Focused Inbox for sure.
Anon
+1 for Focused Inbox. Exactly what I use it for.